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top 200 commentsshow all 238

[–]trigaderzad2606 398 points399 points ago

runs past lady

"HAHA I'M BEATING YOU!!"

Lady: ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points ago

If I was a fast sprinter, I would do this.

Of course, it could backfire if the person ever wants to defend themselves.

But how awesome will it be when you pretending you're chasing someone and then just run pass them? haha

[–]finalxcution 25 points26 points ago

Reminds me of the time I walked home from school one night in a ghetto area. I was listening to my iPod and just minding my own business. There were these two guys sitting at the corner of the gas station across the street. As I passed, they walked across the road and started trailing me. I noticed but ignored them since it was only 7 pm and there was a moderate amount of cars passing by. Nothing could possibly happen. So anyways, I walk about two blocks when all of a sudden, I hear loud footsteps coming from behind. As I started to panic and turn around, the two sprinted right past me and went into a small alcove on the left. Confused but trying my best to look unfazed, I calmly walked by. Nothing happened. I didn't think much of it and continued on. I get to the next block and take another glance behind me. They were still following me.

At this point I was pretty suspicious and started to pick up the pace. As I was nearing the street of my apartment, I hear the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps again. What the hell are they doing this time? Next thing I know, a pair of arms were latched around my waist. A hooded figure swung around in front of me and started throwing jabs. Instinctively, I raised my arms to guard my face. Luckily, that seemed to work as it blocked most of the hits. I tried to resist and thrash around, but to no avail. Suddenly, someone yelled from across the street. A second later, I was hurled onto the pavement, knocking one of my shoes off. Filled to the brim with adrenaline, I got back on my feet, ready to fuck shit up. However, my assailants were already a block away and I had enough clarity to decide against chasing them. The women who had happened to be watching from across the street called out to me, asking me if I was okay. I put my shoe back on and just gave them a silent thumbs up before hobbling home - nose bleeding, pissed, and dumbfounded at what just happened.

It wasn't until I got home that I did a check to see if anything was missing. Wallet, keys, phone; everything was still there in my pockets. Strange, I thought. When I reached to take off my headphones, it was then that I realized my iPod was no longer connected to the other end. Suddenly, everything made sense. Back at the gas station, they had been scoping for easy targets to jump. Me, being a skinny, 5'5" asian dude just happened to be what they were looking for. I was wearing a hooded sweatshirt at the time, with my iPod inside a large pocket on the front, lower side. When they sprinted past me the first time, they were confirming the location of the iPod, scanning for access points. I got to hand it to them, that was pretty smart.

After the adrenaline wore off, I started to freak out about how lucky I was to walk away as well off as I did. If I had chased them, I don't know what might have happened.

TLDR; Two dudes ran past me to scope me out, ended up getting mugged

[–]Solkre 8 points9 points ago

Your consolation is there's a good statistical chance they'll spend most of their lives in Jail, or dead. Spend most of their lives dead.

[–]SUPERSMILEYMAN 0 points1 point ago

ELI5 How can you spend the rest of your life, dead?

[–]YellowOrange 6 points7 points ago

I'm sure you've learned, but for anyone unsure this is why if you are walking in a ghetto area at night you don't listen to an iPod and mind your own business. Don't go poking into other people's business, but don't zone in on yourself either.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

At least it was just an iPod.

I would hate having my keys/wallet stolen.

[–]TheCallipalegic 4 points5 points ago

Just like at the beginning of super troopers!

[–]Thandor 1 point2 points ago

CANDYBARS!

[–]CeeBmata 0 points1 point ago

You know how fast you where going?

Huh, 65?

63!

[–]Murreki 1 point2 points ago

He's already pulled over! He can't pull over any farther! D:

[–]mrsticknote 4 points5 points ago

I'm gonna try this the next time the opportunity arises. Who knows... it might end in true love...

[–]KingofCraigland 6 points7 points ago

Mrsticknote spots his prey. He begins emphasizing each step until his prey notices and quickens her pace. Mrsticknote quickens his pace, gaining slowly. The prey begins an all out sprint and as she notices mrsticknote gaining on her she lets out a scream! Just when she thinks it's all over mrsticknote speeds past his screaming victim. As his victim begins to slow all mrsticknote hears is silence...when suddenly from behind he hears..."Hey! Wait..."

This is how I felt typing your name.

[–]GeneticYeti 1 point2 points ago

You mean surprise love.

[–]SpamFisher 1 point2 points ago

Surprise! Buttsex!

[–]raazurin 0 points1 point ago

I just tagged you as "True_love_by_Running"

you BETTER deliver

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]jfadz 21 points22 points ago

Guys, just ignore this post ^ Don't even bother to downvote it as this is encouragement. Just minimize and move on.

[–]SilverChaos 0 points1 point ago

I'm supposed to do this, dammit!

[–]PASTAAA 9 points10 points ago

If you didn't say all those racist remarks I would have upvoted you for saying esquire.

[–]GeorgeWalkerKush 5 points6 points ago

Racism is bad. Guise look how brave I am for downvoting this guy.

[–]bigguy87 3 points4 points ago

what the fuck is wrong with you to make you say something like that?

[–]Animal_King 8 points9 points ago

clearly you've never met anyone from 4chan

[–]pdxphreek -1 points0 points ago

Welcome to the internet.

[–]Dirrt 122 points123 points ago

it was really funny when i saw this show forever ago.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys_Hi8nV7yM

[–]EyhSteve 28 points29 points ago

I swear I heard the same thing from a black comedian in the 90s...

[–]flounder19 27 points28 points ago

Maybe it's like rock and roll where it doesn't really count until a white person says it.

[–]Chairboy 12 points13 points ago

JOKES MAY ONLY BE TOLD ONCE.

[–]parryriposte 10 points11 points ago

[–]ellsworth92 15 points16 points ago

[–]Rather_Dashing 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, I remember something similar but I can't find it on Youtube. Comedian says that when a girl he is following started running he started running thinking that there was something behind them. When he realises he is going to overtake the girl he shouts out "IS THAT THE FASTEST YOU CAN RUN!?'.

Someone must have a link to this bit?

[–]EyhSteve 1 point2 points ago

Yeah! That was it!

[–]sjrosen9 1 point2 points ago

This joke has been used so many times. First instance I know of is in 2002 with Scott Faulconbridge (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj5--G5rzNM) 2:30 into it. Also was ripped from John Mulaney in the above link and in his comedy central special.

I originally heard it where the guy had on headphones in the subway, since he couldn't hear, he thought the girl was running for the train.

[–]IsomorphicAlgorithm 0 points1 point ago

Every time i see this shit its like deja vu.

[–]freeboater 1 point2 points ago*

You did. It was Michael Junior at Just for Laughs in Montreal for me.

[–]elitexero 2 points3 points ago

You did. That unfunny, badly timed New Yorker kid completely rehashed the whole bit.

[–]CharlemagneIS 4 points5 points ago

This was actually on the other night. I assume someone posted it on facebook attempting to pass it off as their own

[–]GoofyBoy -5 points-4 points ago

Also this one (NSF-Anti-theists) http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=9F0C1NNU

[–]Zantier 0 points1 point ago

CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!

The video isn't even showing up for me

[–]Labut 54 points55 points ago

People like THIS is why we can't have nice driving. What the fuck is wrong with these types of people?? Stop matching my speed when I try to pass you. You were just going 10mph slower!

[–]KRATOSBRAH 54 points55 points ago

YOU SHALL NOT PASS.

[–]yroby 18 points19 points ago

They always get me with the opposite strategy. I'll want to move over to the left to pass, but I'll see a faster car coming up in the left already, so I'll be nice and wait till he goes by me first. Except when he gets by my car he decides to go slow and I can't get over now. WTF you we're just going 10mph faster, go fast again!!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

This happens to me too, I hate it.

Actually, I just hate inconsistency in traffic. Even when I'm behind people, sometimes they'll do an average page, but then brake all of a sudden then go faster. This isn't a one time thing. I can notice this happening for blocks.

Also, when people brake too early. It's good to do that, but to a certain extent. Some people just suck at judging their braking capabilities.

If you're going to brake early, brake fucking gradually. Not hard and move 20 kph for 10 effing yards.

[–]cynognathus 1 point2 points ago

As a constant pedestrian, drivers annoy the crap out of me. If I'm standing on the sidewalk, looking in both directions and getting ready to jaywalk, please don't slow down for me. Keep going the pace you're going. You slowing down means that the cars 100m behind you will close the gap and I won't have time to make it across the street.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I hate that too. But even though I've been in both situations, I still slow down as a driver. It depends if there's cars behind me though.

If it's just me, I'll slow down coz I'm on a bike, and honestly, I don't know if you're fucking crazy or not. I don't wanna risk you kicking me.

On the other hand, if there's cars behind me, I probably won't stop for you.

[–]Atario 0 points1 point ago

Hate this. People who are unable to pass another car at a speed differential any greater than 1.3 miles per hour.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

This is why staggering would be efficient imo.

If we all tried to stagger, we wouldn't hit people or accidentally run over a motorcyclist.

When I'm on the right lane and I notice someone a little beside me, I'll try and go faster depending on situation (speed, cars around, if it's safe, etc.). But usually, if they're a couple of inches behind me, I try to just slow down so we'll be staggered or they can easily pass me.

[–]PhytOxRiKER 0 points1 point ago

What is staggering?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Staggered? Umm. Fuck. I'm pretty sure I'm using the right word lol.

[–]tharizzle 2 points3 points ago

You did

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Smart. You "drive" the five cars around you.

[–]matphoto 0 points1 point ago

I feel like I do this to people because I have to downshift just to make it up gradual hills and then I go speeding down them.

[–]epsilona01 0 points1 point ago

I had some fuckwad in the lane to the right of me, who kept matching my speed, and sitting right fucking next to me. All I wanted was to not have someone right next to me.. it's a safety thing.

[–]Vycid 110 points111 points ago

This reminds me of a recent incident.

I'd pulled up in the parking lot to walk to class, and this chick on a cell phone is in front of me. There's bicycles on my left, and throngs of foot traffic going the other way on my right, so I'm temporarily stuck right behind her as she walks 2 mph and blathers on to someone in an obnoxious, squeaky voice. She seems to notice my proximity; apparently I'm scary as fuck, because she suddenly scoots off, getting out of my way and taking a parallel path.

I shrug it off and keep walking toward class. Eventually the paths converge, and I somehow again find myself immediately behind her (I can only imagine it was because I had to wait for a lot of traffic at a crosswalk). Once again she notices my proximity and actually RUNS away from me while giving me an a frightened look, as though I were stalking her in broad daylight, at the passing hour, in front of a hundred college-age kids.

Bitch, don't flatter yourself.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points ago

I actually live in constant, unreasonable fear of people mistaking me for walking behind them as stalking. It all started back in NY one morning while walking to high school. An older man was about half a block in front of me, turned around, made eye contact, and had a terrified look on his face. He simply moved to the side of the sidewalk and watched me walk past. I turned back confused while walking and he was just standing there, watching me. I feel like that moment's affected me way more than it has him. I thought I looked harmless.

[–]UncorkedChief3 25 points26 points ago

well I don't mean to offend you but orangutangs are pretty scary

[–]KingofCraigland 2 points3 points ago

Especially when they travel in numbers.

[–]fetusxfajita 5 points6 points ago

Orangutan Clan ain't nuthin' ta fuck wit

[–]celesteyay 5 points6 points ago

Maybe a picture?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

Just a couple images I put up recently for the loseit subreddit The before is close to what I looked like in high school

[–]cylon_agent 25 points26 points ago

ohhhh, you're black! That's all you had to say, man.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

Thing is, the older gentleman was black too. I would've thought this would cancel things out.

[–]SocialIssuesAhoy 10 points11 points ago

Two negatives make a positive... are you saying that black people are negatives? :S

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

....I now regret my choice of words.

[–]SocialIssuesAhoy -1 points0 points ago

I lol'd... pretty sure it's allowed since you're black too though! Interacism!

[–]Attycakes 5 points6 points ago

oh hi, you're cute. :3

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I will also take this as me looking non threatening and beam with glee.

[–]Owncksd 4 points5 points ago

You're a fairly attractive person, so I'm almost certain it's because you're black.

Sorry bro :/

[–]RoflCopter4 1 point2 points ago

The problem here seems to be that you are black, not that you are scary. Just a racist old man.

[–]GreenCardMe 0 points1 point ago

lol. it's because you lied man, you are not orange!

[–]Net_Bastard 0 points1 point ago

You look like Chris Rock in the before pic.

[–]CodeMagician 0 points1 point ago

Well, if it was the before image I can understand. Don't look as scary now.

[–]Slowhand09 -1 points0 points ago

I sense a meme coming on. Who's with me on this?

[–]in_my_tree 17 points18 points ago

[in a quiet voice]"ugh, sum random guy is following me. There is so many creepers at this school. I'm gonna pretend like your my boyfriend, k. -- Yeah, okay hun, pick me up at 8 for dinner ..."

[a few moments later. when she sees you again]

[in a quiet voice]"omg..omg... there he is again. .. whata stalker. stay on the phone, just stay on the phone, k, .. i think he's trying to rape me..."

[–]JonesBee 1 point2 points ago

I had a similar case that I've posted before in another thread:

Reminded me of this one time when I noticed I was late for my bus and started running, when suddenly a woman cuts in front of me from a sidepath. She started screaming and running -__-

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That's hilarious. Reminds me a few years ago I was in a store looking at some movies minding my own business when I noticed a girl across the aisle poke her boyfriend and say "Him!" in a highly accusatory manner.

I look up confused and she proceeded to say "He's the one following me." I was beyond flabbergasted at this accusation, especially since I was there with my wife and hadn't noticed this woman at all. I looked at her boyfriend and said "Dude." He then told her she was being ridiculous they walked off.

Your summary was my exact sentiment.

[–]SeisGurl9 -1 points0 points ago

You kind of wish you yelled that don't you?

[–]Vycid 1 point2 points ago

I almost did shout exactly that, but she'd run out of earshot before I could. The one time that I had a fully-formed retort ready to go, the other party literally ran away. Damn. It would have been priceless.

Of course, if she hadn't started running away from me with that mixture of horror and disgust on her face, it wouldn't have been appropriate, so eh.

[–]Lyeta 8 points9 points ago

In all honesty, it's pretty damn funny what people will follow.

We had an event at work that I was in charge of, I was running around inside doing stuff for it. The I look outside and people are lining up outside (about 100 people). I wonder why, so I ask some folks if they told people to line up due to safety (it was pretty busy inside, but not like fire code busy) and they say no. I go outside and ask 'Did someone tell you to line up here?' They also say no. I ask some more people, same answer.

They are lining up for NO REASON except that one person was standing outside and other people stood behind them and suddenly a line happened. I just start announcing "There is no reason for you to be in this line. You are standing in a line for no reason. This line does not go anywhere'. They all looked at me like I had four heads. Some people went inside. Some people just kept standing in the line for no where.

Humans, why you crazy?

[–]SuperBicycleTony 4 points5 points ago

I have a similar story from jr high school. During lunch break, there would occasionally be fights between the mexican kids and the black kids (usually they would just fling full cartons of milk at each other).

One day, a huge group of kids started gathering in a big circle, shouting, pushing and going "ooooooooh!"; just doing what kids do when they see a fight break out. The lunch attendant on watch was diving into it and pulling students aside so he could get to the middle of the mass of bodies to break up the fight.

Wanting to get a better look at what was going on, I climbed on top of a table and realized that there was nobody in the middle of the crowd. "IT'S JUST A BIG CIRCLE!!!" I've never seen a teacher so confused as when he got to the middle and started grabbing kids at random. Nobody seemed to know what had just happened.

[–]SeisGurl9 0 points1 point ago

That's incredibly weird. I would have laughed for hours, especially when some didn't move. I can understand assuming there's a line, but then ignoring that you were told there wasn't? O_o

[–]Lyeta 2 points3 points ago

It was so bizarre. I tried so hard to get them inside. One of my coworkers came out and just said 'Give up'.

I felt so strangely defeated by the folks convinced they were in line for something.

[–]SeisGurl9 1 point2 points ago

You should have went to one of them standing there and asked "Why do you persist?"

Honestly, if I tried that hard that probably would have pissed me off, lol.

[–]shabufa 2 points3 points ago

tell them there's new a line forming at another entrance. and that it's much shorter.

[–]SeisGurl9 1 point2 points ago

Lmao, that would probably work. Or say there is another line giving free samples around the black at the south entrance.

[–]SUPERSMILEYMAN 0 points1 point ago

around the black

It's always around the black, isn't it?

[–]SeisGurl9 0 points1 point ago

Caught my Freudian slip.

[–]coeddotjpg 7 points8 points ago

Me and some friends used to do this downtown during lunch rush (college-aged IT workers in a sea of suits). We would take turns walking in a group, look back, yell and start running. You wouldn't believe how often people would run with us, looking all around in sheer panic. Everyone laughed it off or were kind of like "dude that's F'd up but still funny". Once one guy got absolutely livid we decided to stop. But man it was hilarious, I could tell so many stories from those few weeks.

[–]BornWithCuriosity 2 points3 points ago

Wish I had friends like you. That sounds hilarious.

[–]SuperlativeInsanity 2 points3 points ago

Up until the point when the cops arrive.

[–]BornWithCuriosity 1 point2 points ago

Yeah... that's a good point.

[–]shabufa 1 point2 points ago

more stories please.

[–]coeddotjpg 4 points5 points ago

OK, we only did this five or six times - I only did it once. The funniest time was when a guy we worked with named Derrick came along and wanted to do it. He wasn't in IT for the university like we were, he was working on an advanced degree and worked in the same building.

Anyways we did it at the main intersection of the area where most people came to eat. Picture a square with cross walks corner-to-corner, large fountain in the center. There were restaurants all around and one large hotel entrance, as well as a shuttle stop or two, so all kinds of people are coming and going here. So we are leaning against a wall at the Southern part of the square. Across the street, beyond the fountain, Derrick gets ready at a crosswalk, looking studious and successful black guy in a sweater vest and tie (this was years ago). Halfway across the crosswalk he yells "oh hell!" looking over his shoulder and takes off running. Immediately people he passes look around and start running. He hits the other side of the street and turns into the other crosswalk, leading a herd of panicking business people. People are now passing him, and in turn people ahead of him are starting to follow others. One guy kneeled next to the fountain like he was taking cover and was looking all over.

In the end we're dying laughing, some people still trotting off in various directions or ducking into doors. People are laughing and/or asking various forms of "what the hell just happened?". It only lasted for all of 30 seconds, and in the end it seemed as though no one knew who started it all. That was probably the best.

One time a guy grabbed his dog and jumped into the fountain (it wasn't filled with water) and that was a sight.

[–]PowerhouseTerp 4 points5 points ago

For the thrill of it, thrill of it.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 2 points3 points ago

you go to power house gym in maryland

and you listen to wiz khalifa

age range: 20-26

[–]borgros 2 points3 points ago

Or he listens to Empire of the Sun which Wiz just sampled ripped off for that song

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 1 point2 points ago

you are a sucky person.

i knew that already, but the fact you felt you had to point it out.... makes you suck.

[–]PowerhouseTerp 1 point2 points ago

I do indeed go to UMD, but 'Powerhouse' is merely an alias.

I do listen to wiz khalifa, but this song you're thinking of samples this song, which is what I was referring to.

Age range is correct.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 0 points1 point ago

3 out of 4 aint bad

[–]oddlyaveragejoe 12 points13 points ago

Funny that the first things my eyes roll over after "what we were running from" was the word 'you' in the list of likes.

[–]cevichema97 11 points12 points ago

rubs forehead twice

[–]horseheadwhisperer 3 points4 points ago

I second. rubs forehead twice

[–]comment_filibuster 15 points16 points ago

potato

[–]introvertlovesyou 15 points16 points ago

What the fuck is happening here?

[–]AssassinFlonne 16 points17 points ago

HEY LOOK EVERYONE THIS GUY CAN'T COUNT TO POTATO

[–]CannedBeef 18 points19 points ago

LOL HE GOT STUCK AT FIRETRUCK

[–]codemunkeh 6 points7 points ago

FIRETRUCK COMES AFTER POTATO?

[–]carpeDeezNuts 10 points11 points ago

POTATO..POTATO..FIRETRUCK, YOU'RE IT!

[–]SUPERSMILEYMAN 0 points1 point ago

NO! MY CAREGIVERS HAVE LOCKED THE BREAKS ON MY WHEELCHAIR!!!

[–]BiJiS 1 point2 points ago*

Hey so I figured out what was going on and its pretty retarded.

So there's this Android app call Funny Jokes that is apparently supposed to have jokes on it but it instead has a bunch of people who use it like twitter but with a bigger character limit but about the forehead thing, it's part of this thing called the Android Brotherhood (ABH), basically just a bunch of Android fanboys that have the funny jokes app, and the rubs forehead thing comea from their first rule which is "Don't talk about Funny Jokes or the ABH" the whole thing is a shitty parody of Anonymous. (I mean shit someone even made a couple of videos in the same vein as the Anon vids http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy5aFQxgVIc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9TWs_MMWBI ) I hope that you give enough of a damn to read at least most of this I spent a good 10 or so minutes writing this thing too.

[–]KerrickLong 1 point2 points ago

...You spent 10 minutes writing that?!

[–]DarthNihilus1 -1 points0 points ago

also rubs forehead twice first time i get to use this!

[–]sirJackHandy 12 points13 points ago

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

[–]b00gielove 2 points3 points ago

This also happens at crowded bus stops. One person is looking to see if the bus arrives, other people see him looking for the bus so they start to look for the bus to. Next thing you know you have an entire audience looking at an invisible bus.

[–]mrmasonater 3 points4 points ago

Stay classy, Sickipedia.

[–]sinocarD44 2 points3 points ago

How not to die in most movies.

[–]rach11 2 points3 points ago

not exactly the same joke but reminds me of this John Mulaney clip

[–]razorsheldon 0 points1 point ago

Searched for Mulaney, now feel vindicated. That bit cracks me up every time. Thanks for linking it.

[–]coolestguy1234 2 points3 points ago

one time i did something similar to this. it was aruond midnight, girl is walking ahead of me. she looks back and sees me and starts walking faster. naturally i started walking faster. she looked back again and starting walking even faster, so once again, so did i. this happened a few more times. then someone was standing outside a house and asked her a question so she stopped for a second, looked at me walking quickly towards her and just said I DONT KNOW, and started walking really fast. we got to the block right before mine, right near the police station and she just starts running. i yell out "WAAAAAIIIT!!!" she didnt wait.

[–]avispartan117 2 points3 points ago

From a purely survival-based standpoint, that would actually be the most logical thing to do. If potential danger is afoot, you don't wait around deliberating about it.

[–]deadwisdom 2 points3 points ago

Hey, but at least you got a free purse.

[–]turbie 2 points3 points ago

I told my daughter that if she ever sees a crowd running, do not question it, just run too, because you never know.

[–]TyZi 4 points5 points ago

Reminds me of a story about a bridge and a foggy day. The bridge was out and it was so foggy you couldn't see 3 feet in front of you all you could see was the tail lights of the car in front of you. The bridge was out and everyone kept falling to their deaths one by one as they followed the car in front of them until finally one guy stopped and when later interviewed he said “ I stopped driving cuz i couldnt see in front of me its common sense”.

[–]twofifths 1 point2 points ago

Big Black Furry Creature From Mars?

[–]mrpopenfresh 1 point2 points ago

This shall now be my saturday night activity.

[–]aa7mit 1 point2 points ago

Ben Bailey made this joke in a stand-up routine. I can't find it on Youtube, but trust me. He did.

I CALL SHENANIGANS

[–]BittyTang 1 point2 points ago

Well... maybe if you had taken the time to look then you'd have been EATEN.

[–]captainbawls 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of this

[–]Flight714 1 point2 points ago

[–]riacirca84 0 points1 point ago

i too run and scream from reposts!

[–]dharmendras 1 point2 points ago

Made my day.

[–]lj6782 1 point2 points ago

[–]Ybrik2010 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if this is relevant :s but eh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yuFy_qjolU

[–]Jafit 1 point2 points ago

[–]heathengray 1 point2 points ago

I love Sickipedia, too!

[–]ioiLeGeNDioi 1 point2 points ago

This was on sickipedia first

[–]pollyphonic 1 point2 points ago

saw this joke on sickipedia

[–]notjawn 1 point2 points ago

I work at a university so basically this happens at least once a week on my way in and out of work.

[–]Tranzam1978 4 points5 points ago

She was looking for her baby

[–]arwcrst42 2 points3 points ago*

If that's what I think it is, then fuck you. If not, then sorry.

Edit: Yet, it is what I thought it was. FUCK YOU!!! Didn't have to experience it again, but still. The memories are bad enough.

[–]Tranzam1978 1 point2 points ago

I love doing this!

[–]iceman21 2 points3 points ago

FUCK YOU!

[–]futuretoday777 1 point2 points ago

When the bear is chasing you and your friend, how fast do you need to run to survive?

Answers ಠ_ಠ

[–]iceman21 0 points1 point ago

Question, if you don't run at all will the bear give chase to the guy who runs?

[–]SuperBicycleTony 0 points1 point ago

I don't know, but that's a good strategy for large cats.

[–]azndragon20 0 points1 point ago

heard this from a comedian on Just For Laughs

[–]lev323 0 points1 point ago

You don't need to run fast to survive just run faster than the other guy, Lady in this case.

[–]DarthNihilus1 0 points1 point ago

*rubs forehead twice

[–]Viridovipera 0 points1 point ago

Do you mean this scene from The Gods Must be Crazy? (Starts at 42 min 12 sec).

(Background: an indigenous man who has never seen technology before meets another local with man whose gun is propped against a tree.)

[–]glassy125 0 points1 point ago

we use to always yell to the cross country kids "what are you running from no ones even chasing you!"

[–]Emile_heskey 0 points1 point ago

She was running from me!

[–]Dresdin 0 points1 point ago

Probably not intentional, but it's a fantastic metaphor for life.

[–]laserbeam99 0 points1 point ago

Monkey see, monkey do

[–]lolmitch 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like a dog.

[–]glasschamber 0 points1 point ago*

Reminds me of this film (Key points 8:10-9:40, 10:49-11:28, 13:18-end). Btw 1st Blaxploitation film (Without it, no Pam Grier, Shaft, etc...)

If you want more: (to 1:09:20; 1:13:00-end)

[–]Cheeseball701 0 points1 point ago

That style sounds very much like Shel Silverstein. Needs more rhyme though.

[–]epicoolguy 0 points1 point ago

John mulaney joke

[–]just_a_human 0 points1 point ago

"It puts the lotion in the basket!!!" "AAAAAAAAA" "aaaaaa"

[–]iamaLobsterRabbit 0 points1 point ago

The first thing I thought of while reading this is Dory from Finding Nemo

[–]StealthNL 0 points1 point ago

GLOBAL WARMING

[–]dtdominguez 0 points1 point ago

oh dear god this is incredibly relevant! this clip is from the original kings of comedy

[–]804R 0 points1 point ago

Did seriously only one person know this is from Sicipedia?

[–]josh_acid 0 points1 point ago

This is a John Mulaney joke

[–]onryo21 0 points1 point ago

Well this is original and not stolen at all....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of the time I invited a couple of hookers back to my place and videoed them eating each others asses. Things got a bit freaky and one of them tried to run away.

Anyway to cut a long story short I chased her through the building with a chainsaw and then dropped it on her head from 3 floors up. Bullseye!

[–]Smokemypoo 0 points1 point ago

kinda reminds of this

[–]ManlySnowflake 0 points1 point ago

[–]JonnyBhoy 0 points1 point ago

[–]AdamAtlanta 0 points1 point ago

I always wondered why people in movies don't just tackle the guy chasing/being chased.

[–]HoppyIPA 0 points1 point ago

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Zen Navigation at speed

[–]maicinana 0 points1 point ago

For the thrill of it, thrill of it.

[–]engibeer-me 0 points1 point ago

this is actually from an old just for laughs comedy special

[–]Allkizz 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit! It's pedo bear! Save yourself! Run Forrest, run!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Crabbyabby718 0 points1 point ago

Or he liked someone else's status.

[–]Vromrig 0 points1 point ago

One day when I was living at my old apartment I had to go to the store. Why I don't remember, probably to get some sort of grocery. So I'm going, I pull out and I turn right onto Center City, the main road that takes you through Escondido. As I sit at the traffic light I see 4 or 5 cars pulled off to the side on this dirt shoulder before the Mormon Youth Association that was right there. I was curious by it, particularly when I see more and more and more cars beginning to pull over until the line nearly stretches to the light.

Finally the light turns green but I only tepidly push down on the gas pedal. When the next two cars pull into a straight line, I too timidly do the same. For whatever reason I could not see what was going on, but a line of 12, maybe 15 cars in front of me had pulled onto the shoulder so I presumed that something was happening and I had the most compelling feeling of instinctive need to pull to the side of the road, as though something terrible was going to happen if I too didn't pull onto the shoulder.

I do so and more cars behind me see and do the same until there is an entire line of cars stretching all the way back to my apartment are parked on these dirt paths. We wait there, first I sit there for 5 minutes, then 10 before I start to wonder what's going on. After fifteen minutes I get out of my car to see what we're all waiting for.

Then I see someone get into the passenger seat of the very front car and it drives off, then the second car and it too drives off. Then everyone else drives off.

It turns out we were all paralyzed by panic that there was some compelling need to pull off onto the shoulder because two mormons were picking their kid up from the youth association.

I sat there without going myself as I considered the phenomenon I'd just witnessed. With no knowledge of why the first car had pulled over, compelled solely by a sort of instinctive peer pressure and fear that there was some sort of emergency or police check point, I had fallen in line with everyone else around me, and everyone around me had done the same. We didn't know why we were waiting there, but none of us had the power to disobey the status quo.

[–]zackus 0 points1 point ago

one of my facebook friends either copied this status months ago, or you got it from her. I wonder if you know annelise?

[–]GradualMoonbaseAlpha 0 points1 point ago

You know, it may be an old joke but it's still a pretty good one. I mean the execution is there, the setup is really pretty decent, and I laughed a bit at the aeiou. Aeiou. John Madden FOOTBALL. Snake? Snaaaake.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]umbagubalaba -1 points0 points ago

Bitch, deez homo-ass apes been runnin' fo mo than ONE MILLION YEARS. It's just what we do. I'd ask that you kindly calm your shit and enjoy the breeze in yo face.

[–]zackus -2 points-1 points ago

one of my facebook friends either copied this status months ago, or you got it from her. I wonder if you know annelise?

[–]Omeedian -3 points-2 points ago

GUYS HE STOLE THIS SHIT FROM A COMIC NAMED "JOHN MULANEY". TYPE HIS NAME ON YOUTUBE AND IT'S THERE. DOWNVOTE THIS SHIT YOU STEALING PRICK.

[–]gman1216 -1 points0 points ago

Pretty fucking hilarious I laughed out loud. [8]

[–]AxelDixon -1 points0 points ago

i bet she ran from u

[–]finebydesign -1 points0 points ago

facebook is stupid please stop

[–]twentybinders -1 points0 points ago

There is a black comedian I saw one night with that joke in his repitpre. Hilarious when you see it

[–]Geaux -1 points0 points ago

It's because you're black.