The Hokey Pokey, written in the style of William Shakespeare.

mastertwisted · 6 months

Just because the writer deserves credit: This is from the Washington Post Style Invitational contest that asked readers to submit "instructions" for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person. The winning entry was The Hokey Pokey (by Jeff Brechkin, as written by William Shakespeare).

Deddan · 6 months

It's called the Hokey Cokey in England.

Wonder why it's different elsewhere.. connections to "coke"?

caviar · 6 months

Is this what English majors do for fun???

choch50 · 6 months

copy-pastified

*The Hokey Pokey*
Shakespearean Style

O Proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

8HokiePokie8 · 6 months

I AM RELEVANT! Also, this was very humorous to read through.

joepaulk7 · 6 months

I must see more of these.

dontcallitthat · 6 months

For some reason I read "William Shatner," and things got weird...

Arisngr · 6 months

The Hokey Pokey, in the style of Kraftwerk

QEDomelets · 6 months

Indubitably!

uoflruler · 6 months

Am I the only one who noticed that they put it in iambic pentameter?

ara_p · 6 months

Wow, that just shut my brain right down.

rockidr4 · 6 months

Virginia Tech's English department must be informed of this immediately.

Avium · 6 months

I prefer AC/DC's version.

Bigman6693 · 6 months

Oh you

Walknskank · 6 months

I need someone to do a dramatic reading of this please!

ranranbolly · 6 months

Just sang this for my roommate. She's drunk and bitter...I have received no laughter this eve.

indifference_engine · 6 months

Shakespeare surely would've used the English 'Hokey Cokey', none of this colonial Pokey nonsense.

AmeriSauce · 6 months

What would it look like in the style of William Shatner?

cathalhenry · 6 months

Am I the only one who read that in William Shatner's voice?

Masmodai · 6 months

This is easily the funniest thing I've seen on Reddit in a long time.

jemappellesarah · 6 months

As someone studying to be an English teacher, this gives me lady boner.

triobot · 6 months

Now, someone, anyone, the Timewarp please.

ManBearPig92 · 6 months

I read this in William Shatner's voice.

aheadwarp9 · 6 months

LOL nicely done! It is now hard to tell that it is even the hokey pokey at all. I swear, every time I had to read Shakespeare in school I felt like they were trying to teach me Latin... All I have to say is thank you Cliff's Notes!!

Easilyconfusedyo · 6 months

Prithee, canst we commence the pokeying?

Mildcorma · 6 months

HOKEY COKEY

xeltius · 6 months

I read this in Hitler's voice for some reason.

EDIT: It started out as Shakespeare, but then I would randomly spaz into Hitler-angry-speech mode.

Bashlet · 6 months

I chose to read this in Christopher Walken's voice. Good choice.

IHazMagics · 6 months

Shit was quite literally lost.

I only wish I had more upvotes to give.

CBruce · 6 months

I LOVED this. When I was in college, I was very active in the Theatre program and even had the privelage of being in a number of Shakespeare productions. A long-standing tradition with this program for almost 3 decades now been to warm-up for each show with the entire cast participating in a giant round of Hokey-Pokey.

So thank you for this, whoever created it.

jadebcmt · 6 months

The most diffficult thing to sing in your head.

mg15 · 6 months

Your iambic pentameter is glorious.

Hybridjosto · 6 months

mis read it as william shatner :(

jlamothe · 6 months

Shakespeare would never end a sentence with a preposition.

AmyOpe · 6 months

There are not enough upvotes in this world...

iroofiegirls · 6 months

til shakespeare and clyde frasier use very similar words

thejrmint · 6 months

thats not how it normally goes? :O

Turbomullet · 6 months

What you have just undertaken, It goes not beyond my perception.

fingerman78 · 6 months

I'm a swimming instructor and this is how I'm going to sing this to my parent and tot classes from now on.

BellaGoBoom · 6 months

Proudfeet!

bigtreeworld · 6 months

Relevant

dyl8n · 6 months

Have thyself an upvote, good sir

DragonAssassin · 6 months

Now that's some classic dancing.

HeyFlo · 6 months

I want to see The Chicken Dance in the the style of Shakespeare.

nanashi420 · 6 months

what does anyone think of the claim that shakespeare stole a vast majority of his work from other sources

for instance- the orient? my pakistani parents used to tell me when i was little how romeo and juliet was written a few hundred years before Shakespeare was born and is most likely from the persian empire

Self_Aware_Computer · 6 months

It doesn't mean anything!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BTgR82sXWI

Lutherie · 6 months

Am I the only one who imagined this being said in Jacob Isaac's (Lucius Malfoy) voice?

scrotlobe · 6 months

"the style of William Shakespeare"

Iambic pentameter.

FTFY

Goddamn_Batman · 6 months

As read by Morgan Freeman.

PokeyHokie · 6 months

I approve of this message.

bokbok · 6 months

You can do the Hokey Pokey to pretty much any song. True Story.

Ruined534 · 6 months

Amazing.

migx · 6 months

I tried singing it... started to sound like rap.

DarthTall · 6 months

Good Show! Jolly Good Show!

PonsterMenis · 6 months

Fuckin' Iambic Pentameter!

burningsok · 6 months

I say gentlemen, quite a good show.

kyzfrintin · 6 months

It's called the Hokey COKEY here in England, so at least be regionally accurate!

darkotter · 6 months

Obligatory Bill Bailey link

Apocalvps · 6 months

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that it's missing a quatrain?

X-R0ads · 6 months

Is this written in iambic pentameter?

HighDecepticon · 6 months

For some reason I read the title as William Shatner, and got excited for a moment.

gaines0629 · 6 months

This is great!

heywhateverguy · 6 months

Old Joe Decreaux at it again.

ceawake · 6 months

COKEY.

Steve_the_Scout · 6 months

EXTREMELY relevant username.

ctrl-alt-win · 6 months

As a high-school English teacher, this will be posted on my classroom wall very shortly.

FurryUsSquirrel · 6 months

This is kinda awesome

joecamo · 6 months

I couldn't read it because my god damn troll ass brain kept playing the hokey pokey while I was trying to read it and it was like the asshole neighbor that kept turning the music up.

GaiusAugustusCaesar · 6 months

googles hokey pokey to remember words

[deleted] · 6 months

It's so iambic pentameter.

tuffguy53 · 6 months

You should see the play some guys did acting out Pulp Fiction, Shakespeare style.

bobthemuffinman · 6 months

Just sent this to my english teacher.

zulan · 6 months

This is insanely good.

Sven2774 · 6 months

It's missing dick jokes.

daleadil · 6 months

I forgot the hokey pokey song, can someone help me out?

WorriedabouttheBoy · 6 months

As an English Literature major, I must tip my hat to you good sir or madam.

Jern · 6 months

Thine milkshakes bring all ye gentlefolk to thy yard. They're like, tis better than thine, verily, tis better than thine. I could teach the, but I must levy a fee

HappinessByHyperbole · 6 months

Hips in wanton swirl.

Mordyfied · 6 months

this made me smile.

Lovesyou19 · 6 months

Not bad

LBORBAH · 6 months

But what if the Hokey Pokey really is what its all about?

justbarelymadeit · 6 months

Brilliant!

vtmeta · 6 months

As a student at Virginia Tech, this amuses me :)

Gary32790 · 6 months

You get an upvote! and you get an upvote!

FluidicMonkey · 6 months

I eventually attempted to read it as if Jay-Z was rapping it...I had mixed results.

PullOutBoy · 6 months

Mother fucking boss!!

flyingmoose47 · 6 months

that. is. what. the. fuck. i'm. talking. about

[deleted] · 6 months

Was it just me, or did anyone else find Shakespeare to be the single most annoying thing that anyone could possibly read? (for non-english majors to answer)

M3le · 6 months

Always hated having to read Shakespeare. If you have to explain every line Then it's not worth reading.

aliennick4812 · 6 months

hipsters

Ilikepineapplez · 6 months

My IQ meter just went skyrocket, from reading this.

ab103630 · 6 months

False. Shakespeare does not partake in the use of conjunctions.

mecrio · 6 months

Way to get free karmas....this could have been a self post and not lost any potential.

funny

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