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all 127 comments

[–]umakemelol 211 points212 points ago

I would imagine they'd get suspicious after the fifth text that said that..

[–]devro1040 576 points577 points ago

Or after it said, "durnk."

[–]eduardog3000 92 points93 points ago

I would get suspicious at "mom/dad".

[–]DingDongHelloWhoIsIt 26 points27 points ago

He needs to add 'delete as appropiate'. That ought to do it

[–]RicoDMT 26 points27 points ago

Or just change it to 'parent'.

[–]FisherKing22 43 points44 points ago

Or start the whole thing with, "To whom it may concern." That should prevent any confusion.

[–]john236 18 points19 points ago

Or a "dear resident"

[–]moose_man 1 point2 points ago

'Dear Underscore'

[–]ballinisahabit 2 points3 points ago

Dear Supervisor on duty,

[–]BATMAN-cucumbers 1 point2 points ago

I was always a fan of "dear sir and/or madam,"

[–]Beezle 10 points11 points ago

Even just, "You're the best in the world" would work fine.

[–]dego_frank 2 points3 points ago

I would be suspicious at "sleeping out."

[–]Beezle 37 points38 points ago

Or even "Fuck off Mom, I'm 30 years old for christ sake."

[–]Lemon1412 -1 points0 points ago

Dear...resident.

[–]Craysh 10 points11 points ago

Not at all. After you become sober you can simply adjust the auto-correct.

[–]onlysaysyeahdude 0 points1 point ago

Yeah dude

[–]nicknameminaj 163 points164 points ago

I"M I'm at a friend's house, I might be sleeping out tonight, I will let you know. Have a wonderful evening, you're the best mom/dad in the world. I love you! AS FUKCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]mattdawg8 42 points43 points ago*

I don't get it.

EDIT: Got it, the word drunk would always turn into that paragraph, even when not texting parents. Lulz ensue.

[–]thrice_baked 13 points14 points ago

If they were ever trying to text someone "I"m drunk as fukcky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" that's what they would get.

[–]nicknameminaj 18 points19 points ago

You know, I'm very touched that each one of you spelled "fukcky" correctly :')

[–]syflox 4 points5 points ago

Ctrc + C, Ctrl + V

[–]nicknameminaj 4 points5 points ago

why you gotta ruin everything huh :/

[–]syflox 2 points3 points ago

Every party needs a pooper!

[–]TinCardinal 2 points3 points ago

Well then there's a party in my bathroom at about 12:30pm every day.

Hooray for poop jokes!

[–]guyboy 0 points1 point ago

Not if you need to change to lowercase.

[–]Kazudo2 4 points5 points ago

"I'm [drunk] as fukcky."

[–]RicoDMT 3 points4 points ago

He wanted to type 'I"M DRUNK AS FUKCKY!!!!!!!!!!!" but the autocorrect turned the 'drunk' into 'I'm at a friend's house, I might be sleeping out tonight, I will let you know. Have a wonderful evening, you're the best mom/dad in the world. I love you!'.

[–]late_joke_explainer 2 points3 points ago

I got this, guys! See, the joke here is tha-- AW FUKCKY

[–]hamdora[S] 0 points1 point ago

I can't tell you how many times I do that.

[–]SwiftButtFuck 0 points1 point ago

Fuck, I like CKY!

[–]JereHakala 116 points117 points ago

mom/dad

[–]Hellion88 90 points91 points ago

OP should try using "parent" instead.

[–]ballinisahabit 2 points3 points ago

Dear supervisor on duty,

[–]yellowboat 36 points37 points ago

I regularly text both parents through one of their phones like that. Anyway, I don't really see this as trying to trick the parents, I see it more as the kid wanting to easily let the parents know that he or she won't be coming home that night (and therefore, that the kid is safe and not drinking and driving)

[–]hamdora[S] 1 point2 points ago

this

[–]georgehotelling 52 points53 points ago

Actually is legit if you plan ahead.

[–]jassalmithu 14 points15 points ago

There's one problem here. You should be able to type "drunk" right for that. I think that's how it works. Although, I might be wrong.

[–]venustrapsflies 7 points8 points ago

i was thinking this too, you probably want to fill in "durnk" and "drnuk" too, just to be safe.

[–]muddzm 10 points11 points ago*

I'd manage to write "runfk" instead.

[–]Acutuse 16 points17 points ago

But then you can calmly explain to your parents in the morning that you decided to run a 5k late last night, and got too tired afterwards and crashed at a friend's.

[–]Errant_Ending 4 points5 points ago

And that they threw flashbangs at you to test your endurance, so they really should let you sleep in to rest your eyes, ears, and legs.

[–]burntehwitch 5 points6 points ago

I seem to have excellent spelling and grammar when texting drunk... it's what I say that's the problem

[–]the_silent_redditor 7 points8 points ago

I'm the exact same myself. I can type out the most outrageous, inappropriate and even nonsensical stuff in the world; yet it will always be gramatically perfect. Hell, I'm a bit drunk just now!

[–]Drunken_Economist 29 points30 points ago

This works until you your drunk text a girl

[–]FridayNightSargin 15 points16 points ago

Just change it to replace another word. Like drunk5 or something.

[–]whiskeytab 14 points15 points ago

Yeah but then the next time he's drunk5 he'll be screwed!

[–]threetwojuan 1 point2 points ago

the fuck you sayin man?

[–]Ronkerjake 18 points19 points ago

HAHA, joke's on you, I don't have parents.

[–]Dontwalkintime 24 points25 points ago

...batman?

[–]MrHorseWithNoName 3 points4 points ago

Batman doesn't laugh much does he?

[–]JarasM 7 points8 points ago

[–]Thessilonius 0 points1 point ago

That's actually quite dramatic.

[–]DevinTheGrand 5 points6 points ago

Lotta highschool kids on reddit these days.

[–]PartyBusGaming 2 points3 points ago

Think about it, if there was a website that people treated like a VIP club (but definitely isn't) of the internet when you were in highschool, you'd be on it.

[–]seenitcoming 1 point2 points ago

it was called facebook and it was when you got accepted to college and got your college email address. This was up until all the highschooler twerps ruined it, why do you kids have to ruin such a nice thing?. GET OFF MY LAWN!

[–]ENTP 11 points12 points ago

I don't get it.

[–]Swerdman55 22 points23 points ago

If he types in the word "drunk", the phone automatically replaces it with that long text. That way he can text his parents when he's drunk without effort, and they won't get suspicious.

[–]Wyvryn 25 points26 points ago

won't get suspicious

'Mom/Dad'

[–]Swerdman55 7 points8 points ago

I know, I was just clarifying the proposed idea of it.

[–]ProjectD13X 0 points1 point ago

if he sends it to both his parents at once then it would make sense

[–]ltx 0 points1 point ago

Dear [name], you are the best mom and/or dad in the world!

[–]elmexdela 5 points6 points ago

I miss high school.

[–]PartyBusGaming 1 point2 points ago

Man, I wish I could have that kind of freedom. I'm in high school and I have to text my parents when I leave or arrive at a place. She needs a biography of who I go places with and I can't go to a person's house unless she's personally met them and they've been around my house a bunch.

Sure, I never get in any situations I might regret later, but I never do anything fun. I brought a girl home once and we had to sit in the kitchen...

[–]user1484 4 points5 points ago

It must be so horrible having parents that give a shit.

[–]PartyBusGaming 0 points1 point ago

There are trade-offs... Major trade offs.

[–]VBxGatsby 5 points6 points ago

Transgender parents always have such well-behaved children.

[–]Welshpanda 2 points3 points ago

How do I do this?

[–]moojc 7 points8 points ago*

settings

general

keyboard

then the thing at the bottom. i dunno what it says in English

EDIT: It should say "shortcuts." ou peut-être "raccourcis" si vous l'utilisez en français, comme moi.

[–]Welshpanda 7 points8 points ago

Hero

[–]crotchfruit 1 point2 points ago

Shortcut

[–]Dustintico 1 point2 points ago

It should say "shortcuts." Or maybe "raccourcis" if you use french like me.

In case you were wondering.

[–]STJRedstorm 1 point2 points ago

This is...... fucking genius

[–]Captain_Thrus 1 point2 points ago

it is legit. settings>general>keyboard>shortcuts.

you can also take your friend's phone and turn harmless words into inappropriate words.

[–]SwiftButtFuck 0 points1 point ago

I changed "miss" to "want to molest" on my girlfriends phone. Go ahead, try it out!

[–]napoleonsolo 1 point2 points ago

That' s pretty funny. Let's go down to the quarry and throw things down there.

[–]eduardog3000 0 points1 point ago

...man.

[–]MushuWithEggroll 1 point2 points ago

Drunk at 6:12 PM?

[–]Brianne123 1 point2 points ago

Brilliant.

[–]nhopper98 1 point2 points ago

where the fuck is this man's medal?!

[–]FatalFlaws 4 points5 points ago

I just wonder why it says mom/dad while the message is clearly being sent to 'mom'.

Does said 'mom' have an issue or two?

[–]azzyistired 0 points1 point ago

that would only work if u could manage to spell drunk correctly...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TheKZA 0 points1 point ago

First install CryogenicMOD 8.3 (Apple Pie), then download a package called Replace-O-Text 2.1. Then hold down volume up and the power button while connected by USB (does not work on most HTC handsets. But not all)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

id like to be able to do this. but my "drunk" would probably end up something along the lines of "inbdsjbh"

oh yeah and my moms and alcoholic so im pretty sure she'd only be proud of me.

[–]redthunda69 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of "Dear Son/Daughter" from Jimmy Neutron.

[–]guthpasta 0 points1 point ago

And this is why if I ever have a daughter she will be under lock and key.

[–]Skaft 0 points1 point ago

notbad.jpg

[–]witchladysnakewoman 0 points1 point ago

i remember high school damn

[–]Radico87 0 points1 point ago

I can't word good when been drinking.

[–]Sondrita 0 points1 point ago

this is why I'm getting an iPhone.

[–]Crushader 0 points1 point ago

ManualCorrect tweak on Cydia can do that

[–]poopmailman 0 points1 point ago

Can't believe I was stupid enough to try this...

[–]breachgnome 0 points1 point ago

Then fuck it all up with "durnk" autocorrecting to "thinking about fucking you".

Because if it's one thing reddit has taught me: crazy autocorrects like that are legit.

[–]somethingboutahorse 0 points1 point ago

This is why I'm glad I don't have parentals to have to make excuses. I just get drunk.

[–]kleptobismol 0 points1 point ago

The best mom and dad in the world part might have been a bit of a tip off. You guys are all awesome

[–]Dazvsemir 0 points1 point ago

change "mom/dad" to "parent.

[–]BONUSBOX 0 points1 point ago

siri, initiate drunktext sequence.

[–]bobbyhob1 0 points1 point ago

Your cell phone is a genius.

[–]GranSkyline 0 points1 point ago

Until you misspell drunk

[–]anfea2004 -1 points0 points ago

Auto-correct at its finest

[–]qrrbrbirlbel -1 points0 points ago

"yeah, bro. I'll be at the party. I'm gonna get so I'm at a friends house, I might be sleeping out tonight, I will let you know. Have a wonderful evening, you're the best mom/dad in the world. I love you!"

[–]cordycepshumanis -1 points0 points ago

Hey dude last night megan and i were at this party and i was so fucking I'm at a friends house. I might be sleeping out tonight, I will let you know. Have a wonder evening, you're the best mom/dad in the world. I love you!