Virginity: Intact

Drunken_Economist · 6 months

So instead I invented facebook

Hellman109 · 6 months

ALL TEENAGERS:

Please note that "Anti Perspirant" is VERY VERY VERY FUCKING DIFFERENT to "body spray" and such.

One stops you stinking like a hookers ass, the other makes you smell like a hookers ass with a terrible air freshner stuck in it.

otaking · 6 months

I remember when Axe first came out. The middle school locker room was suffocating. The worst part was that it just blended in with all the body odor to make it sickeningly sweet/putrid.

Majoring_In_Vaginas · 6 months

When did Playboy come out with a body spray? o.O

mywhiteshadow · 6 months

Fixed

carbonnanotube · 6 months

I hate axe, it wears off in less than an hour and being near anyone wearing it makes my eyes water. If you don't know, being allergic to perfume is not fun.

The_Obesemaurice · 6 months

Everyone is wrong, he looks like Art Garfunkel.

Vexin · 6 months

any of them*

ramsay_baggins · 6 months

That's because Axe (or Lynx as it's called in the UK) smells DISGUSTING.

luft-waffle · 6 months

STOP BUTTONING THE GODDAMN TOP BUTTON!

darcysaurus · 6 months

I think the guy in this picture is very good looking

Dickapenis · 6 months

Drink up, buddy.

beeUnit · 6 months

Awww he's adorable... when he gets older I'll take his virginity.

TheDarkHorse83 · 6 months

Smell can be a very strong trigger for memory. So my question is, do you want your girl to smell you and remember every generic douche that has ever hit on her in a bar or club? Or that dick that cheated on her last month? Or, would you like to go out, buy something different, something that she doesn't have a memory of just yet, so when she smells it she is reminded of the first time you met, your first date, and all of the wonderful things that you've done together?

tldr; Stop smelling like a toxic cheap little boy, buy a real cologne and smell like a man.

Edit: Pro tip; If I'm not within arms reach, I should not be able to smell you!

mrnmukkas · 6 months

As an anosmic: http://i.imgur.com/8rksX.jpg

segagaga · 6 months

Nearly every woman I know hates guys who use Lynx/Axe

AuroraMaryAlice · 6 months

Guess what smell my husband wears? That's right! Bar soap. He showers every day. One of the major reasons, I was attracted to him in the first place.

philge · 6 months

[deleted]

MrKrazybones · 6 months

No its because he looks like Jamie Kennedy

iHaveYearsAheadOfMe · 6 months

Ugh, I hate encountering this in the men's locker room. You're trying to extinguish an odor, not a friggin' giraffe.

One_Angry_Cow · 6 months

Lynx (Axe) is great!....great if your intention is to smell like a 13 year old boy after PE.

Outdoor_Girl · 6 months

I hate those things. They have a very alcohol/aerosol smell that gives me a headache.

brandorobot · 6 months

For the record their hair products do not cause hot women to appear out of nowhere just to touch your hair either...fucking rip off.

RawJa777 · 6 months

When Axe was first released my roommate and I spent 5 minutes testing the various scents in an isle in the grocery store. When we started the isle was empty other than us. When we finished the isle was FILLED with women. None of them were good looking.

True story.

EnysAtSea · 6 months

I remember watching one of those stupid videos about things to buy as gifts for christmas like 4 or 5 years ago and they'd do short reviews on the items. They gave some axe to these two girls who and made them talk about whether or not it's a good gift. They sprayed it, smelled it, scrunched their faces, and one of them said "Smells like a douchebag"

From that point on i knew that women hate the smell of axe. Which means that AXE LIES!!!

b_blizzy · 6 months

But yet these bastards are still in business! HOW?!?

notjawn · 6 months

PREPOSTEROUS! Women love the smell of gas station urinal cakes!

i8afisch · 6 months

Jake cologne from Hollister is so superior to those horrendous gas clouds. Every other girl that I have ever spoken to has agreed with me on this. Once you smell it (not the terrible odor that comes from the actual store, but the spray itself, on a man) Mmm.

carl84 · 6 months

Fun Fact: in the UK we call it Lynx, and "the Lynx effect".

anexanhume · 6 months

You cannot partially embrace the Guido. Also, know your target.

Roketderp · 6 months

The problem is thinking that Axe alone will work.

InferiousX · 6 months

Ya gotta spray it all over, brah...

Savoir_faire81 · 6 months

I use Axe and get told very regularly at the clubs how good I smell. I have even a number of times been had girls lean in real close and smell me. Smelling nice is a good thing just remember that smelling nice will not by itself get you a girl.

[deleted] · 6 months

Real men use black str8.

DrascaL · 6 months

Is axe just re-branded lynx?

Wackydude1234 · 6 months

The newest adverts are over the top.

ilovebooks08 · 6 months

How to Lose Your Virginity (Real Stories of the First Time)

kyzfrintin · 6 months

Their aftershave is better than their bodyspray. Particularly Africa.

trylleklovn · 6 months

djh3max from hat films, is that you?

paksman · 6 months

Actually, this works fine, just one spray on each wrist and neck area and bring a white hanky & chloroform with you on a date just to be sure.

UILHOK · 6 months

Well have you tried putting them all on at the same time? That might work!

tigerinhouston · 6 months

Duh. Old Spice. You're welcome.

discountair · 6 months

Woody Allen is aging well

electricmice · 6 months

the hell? isn't that a jonas brother?

knowses · 6 months

What do you mean? The marketing is working perfectly?

Ibrokethosecuffs · 6 months

Is that a Jonas bro?

katielady125 · 6 months

Every one of those smell like ass. Now Old Spice... yum.

ItMightBeMagic · 6 months

The twist may be alright in certain situations. In the summer I use a slight spritz on my wrists and rub it into my neck like cologne and it's light and a bit citrus-y so it's good for the season.

nUmbdA · 6 months

Jesse Eisenberg?

jesusapproves · 6 months

Did you try all of them at once?

ZippoS · 6 months

Speak for yourself, girls fucking love when I wear Axe Kilo. (all the other scents are garbage)

Haisoj · 6 months

I don't think he needs any help getting the ladies. He looks pretty cute.

LadyKeen · 6 months

Is this Dax Flame?

ihsan · 6 months

It's because he's not using Old Spice.

connaire · 6 months

Get a stick of old spice. Bitches love old spice.

eccentricity · 6 months

Cough!! :D

MrMadcap · 6 months

Shower daily, and wash your clothes. Do this right, and the unique smell of your clean skin will keep them close.

Anything more, and you'll risk repulsing those you wish to attract, and attracting those you wish to repulse.

Sapphire--Blue · 6 months

My 9 year old brother uses axe.... our house is covered with it

hull26 · 6 months

I love axe, i don't have to look around..I can just smell that someone trashy is in the area

[deleted] · 6 months

I use Axe essence to cover up my cig smoke smell before I go into work, I've only gotten positive reviews from it. My nickname there is actually tall guy that smells good, sooo apparently not all Axe brands are repulsive smelling.

Hime_Takamura · 6 months

try axe dark temptation. mmm... me gusta... it works for my fiance at least.

eNomad · 6 months

worked for me

Downfaller · 6 months

I use Axe to cover up my funky ass for ~30 minutes. Just going to the bank today? Floor Pants and a good application of Axe and they will just think I'm a douche bag instead of a lazy bastard who doesn't want to shower.

funny

MODERATORS

funny

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login