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all 155 comments

[–]Jaboomaphoo 99 points100 points ago

"You have insomnia? What time did you go to sleep last night?"

If your answer is anything other than "I didn't" then you don't have insomnia.

[–]GetStapled 77 points78 points ago

I have insomnia. It's fucking awful. At 5 am I usually give up trying to sleep and just go on reddit and post stupid shit. Luckily Australians don't downvote as much.

[–]hatesinsomnia 12 points13 points ago

If you're still up at 5am for 2-3 days in a row, then we can talk. What is this 1am bullshit? I feel your pain my sleepless brother.

[–]GetStapled 4 points5 points ago

I've gotten about 3 hours sleep average this week. That's about a normal week. But a lot of nights I simply can't sleep. The scary part is, now I feel fully rested on like 5 or 6 hours of sleep, and a sleepless night, while shitty, is easily manageable. Not healthy though.

[–]Kasuli 6 points7 points ago

I don't have insomnia, just pretty bad difficulties actually getting sleep. I sleep about 4 hours on an average weekday, but on the weekends I can sleep for like 12 hours straight because I can wake up at 4pm and no one gives a shit.

[–]reaper130 1 point2 points ago

I give a shit. Lots of shits.

[–]ClickyPen 1 point2 points ago

Maybe they're a baker who has to get up at 3am?

[–]Amy_G_Dala 0 points1 point ago

Or maybe they could have one of the thousands of other jobs that require getting up that early, as crazy as it may sound baking isn't the only job that falls under that category.

[–]MUTILATOR 0 points1 point ago*

I agree. Sometimes I'm awake for three, four days. I'm 100% sure I would give up both of my legs for the ability to basically fall asleep upon command, like some of my friends can do. :(

Incidentally, I've tried pretty much every supplement and medication available, in various combinations, as well as therapy, yoga, meditation, etc. Some things help (often at various costs -- for example most strong sedatives make me horribly nervous during the daytime due to rebound, so they're a no go) but largely it's something I have to live with.

At least I get a lot of stuff done and read lots of literature when I decide to do something instead of lying in the dark for hours and hours.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 72 points73 points ago

That's because they think the orange arrow is the downvote.

[–]thediscokid 2 points3 points ago

its backwards down there, like the toilets, and seasons.....

[–]crushed_by_a_bicycle 27 points28 points ago

The toilets crap into you?

[–]Testicular_Homocide -1 points0 points ago

Ha!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]abagofdicks 9 points10 points ago

or the Simpsons.

[–]jaycrew 4 points5 points ago

thatsthejoke.jpg

[–]ELEMENTALITYNES 2 points3 points ago

same here. sometimes I could go weeks without sleeping a minute. EDIT: apparently it's Chronic Insomnia, and I've been to many doctors.

[–]trolltollboyshole 0 points1 point ago

Feel your pain. I've had chronic insomnia twice in my life for months at a time. For about a 3 month span, I'd sleep about 10 hours per week. Faken sucks. Then, I snap out it. Weird.

[–]ELEMENTALITYNES 0 points1 point ago

i'm sorry to hear that. I use a lot of melatonin now, and it does help sometimes. but i do find it funny, that i still get overly frustrated at night's when i can't sleep. like I'd become very irritable every single night, even though i've been putting up with it for a while now!

[–]chroncile 5 points6 points ago

Hi there, have you tried supplementing with melatonin just right before bed? Melatonin is the hormone that tells your body it's time to sleep so it can get you to sleep, but there's no guarantee you'll stay asleep unless you get the time-release version:

http://www.iherb.com/Natrol-Melatonin-TR-Time-Release-3-mg-100-Tablets/22708?at=0

You can also supplement with Ashwagandha, a herb that many users claim to have a sedating effect. If you decide to get it, I suggest you get the Jarrow Formulas brand as it is the one most people recommend.

[–]GetStapled 0 points1 point ago*

I have tried drinking warn milk before bed (which contains melatonin). Other then that, mostly natural things like not eating for a while before bed, bath, hot water bottle, no caffeine. I also tried some light sleeping medications (diphenhydramine), but they didn't work at all. I'll definitely look into that herb.the only thing that really works is waiting until I'm passing out tired and then sleeping somewhat restfully.

[–]that_guy_on__reddit 2 points3 points ago

Speaking of "herbs," have you tried Medical Marijuana?

[–]chroncile 1 point2 points ago

Warm milk most likely does not contain a sufficient amount of melatonin to help you, in particular. It might help others, but it seems like it did not help you. I suggest you get the time-release melatonin I linked above. Try that and see if it helps you sleep.

I currently take regular melatonin and it definitely has helped me fall asleep, but it did not help me stay asleep. I'm going to order the time-release version next time.

[–]GetStapled 2 points3 points ago

I'll check it out then, thanks for the tips.

[–]chroncile 1 point2 points ago

Oh, good thing I ordered just now or else I would have forgot to tell you. I have a code that lets a first time buyer get $5 on his or her purchase. PM me if you're interested.

I just ordered a multivitamin and the time-release melatonin I mentioned. I have and still am taking the multivitamin I ordered. It's Life Extension, Two per day Tablets:

http://www.iherb.com/Life-Extension-Two-Per-Day-Tablets-120-Veggie-Tabs/24604?at=0

A multivitamin is important for general health and well being. I suggest you also get that on top of the time-release melatonin as well as the Ashwagandha.

Don't get those cheap multivitamins you find in the pharmacies as they're often loaded with low bioavailable nutrients such as Zinc oxide.

Also make sure you're getting your omega-3 fatty acids.

[–]Water_Bearer 1 point2 points ago

I too take melatonin and I believe it helps. I am not an insomniac though I am a night owl. Taking melatonin allows me to fall asleep and stay asleep at an earlier time. The main reason I use it though is that I feel as if I have more restful sleep then when not using it.

It in no way shape or form makes me feel tired though, so I still have to fight through my night owlish "instincts" and actually lay down. I just wont be laying there wide awake for 2+ hours.

I hope it helps you as it has helped me.

[–]Formuler261 0 points1 point ago

The warm milk trrick is pretty much a wives tale. The only way there would be enough Melatonin in the milk was if there was enough colostrum, which cows produce right after giving birth. Conventional milk wouldn't have enough colostrum in it for the trick to work properly.

[–]sprinkles123 0 points1 point ago

i have another herb you could try.

[–]TheShaker 0 points1 point ago

Just curious, is it convenient to have insomnia? I mean, assuming it doesn't turn you into a zombie, you should have 33% more time to get stuff done.

[–]VanEck 3 points4 points ago

One would think that... but sadly it doesn't work out like in Fight Club. Without proper rest, you can't function. When you have insomnia for long stretches at a time like I go through, you end up a zombie. Yo feel exhausted, irritable, depressed, and get mood swings. You end up too fatigued to really focus on much or be really productive. So yes, you end up with more time, but you can't really do much with it except stare at a TV or browse reddit. Even trying to read a book becomes annoyingly difficult.

[–]GetStapled 2 points3 points ago

Most of it is spent trying to sleep really. I find If I pretend to sleep ill at least feel slightly better the next day.

[–]Dulljack 1 point2 points ago

You generally just spend the same amount of time in bed, telling yourself that tonight is going to be the night you actually pass out before the sun comes up; except instead of sleeping you just get progressively more and more pissed off.

[–]Kratzyyy 0 points1 point ago

Genuine curiosity coming out here. How do you feel when you get such little sleep? Sometimes when I don't sleep well for a few days I can't concentrate and feel like a zombie. Do you guys have that all the time? Or do you feel somewhat normal even though you only get a few hours a week?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Just wondering, what's it considered if I love to sleep in, but at night I can not sleep even if i woke up at 7 am I still will stay up to 4-5.

[–]GetStapled 0 points1 point ago

Going to bed every night at the same time could be this. Perfectly natural, but truly I'm not an expert in this stuff. Just know what's been relevant to me so far.

[–]sarahholli 0 points1 point ago

FRIEND. same.

[–]SKREAM 14 points15 points ago

Insomnia is usually defined as difficulty sleeping for a certain period of time.

So if someone only gets 2 hours sleep due to stress/depression for a month or so when they normally get 6+, it's still insomnia. I don't think it's right to say someone doesn't have an issue when yours is worse.

Obviously most people who have insomnia don't, but still :p

[–]Jaboomaphoo 1 point2 points ago*

Not saying I have it. Just joking about people who think they have it when it's really nothing

[–]cdb03b 5 points6 points ago

That is not always true. Like most diseases and disorders they are on a spectrum of slight to sever. I have been diagnosed with slight insomnia where I will often stay up till 3 or 4 unable to sleep. Severe is not being able to sleep at all and very sever is not being able to sleep for a few days if not weeks. Your reaction is insulting to those who have the milder disorder like me.

[–]imlulz -1 points0 points ago

Is 3 or 4 about the longest you stay up?

[–]cdb03b 0 points1 point ago

I get up at 7. So yes consistently having 1/3- half (depending on the doctor) the recommended sleeping about is a mild form of insomnia.

[–]imlulz 1 point2 points ago

That sounds more like DSPS. Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

[–]Airazz 5 points6 points ago

I went to sleep at 7am yesterday. No, I don't think I have insomnia, I just have a seriously fucked up sleeping pattern.

[–]trogdor5 1 point2 points ago

Yes, I'm sure all insomniacs never get any sleep ever.

[–]ActuallyAnAlpaca 0 points1 point ago

you know what's really fun? hypersomnia.

[–]imlulz 2 points3 points ago

You know whats really fun? Circadian Rhythm Disorders.

[–]kilo4fun 1 point2 points ago

Seriously. I have delayed sleep syndrome. I at least do get tired, but it seems to be at bad times and my body thinks the day is 30 hours long rather than 24.

[–]Dulljack 2 points3 points ago

Exact same thing here. Fucking delayed sleep disorder.

Even when I am tired, I can expect to lie in bed for 6 hours or so before finally falling asleep, unless i am literally passing out as I crawl into bed. A 30-hour cycle would be perfect for me.

I finally started realizing that laying in bed a majority of the night wasn't normal when my friends would be snoring within 10-15 minutes during sleepovers as a kid. Been insanely jealous ever since, it's almost impossible to drag myself out of bed at 8 every morning for work when I just managed to fall asleep 2 hours before.

I spend almost as much time tossing and turning in bed each week as I do working. Makes me want to get a part-time night job in addition to my regular one so at least I would be doing something productive with that wasted time.

[–]imlulz 1 point2 points ago

How about just a night time job to replace the daytime one?

[–]Raelshark 1 point2 points ago

It's a possibility for some people, but definitely limits your career options.

[–]imlulz 0 points1 point ago

Very true.

[–]imlulz 1 point2 points ago

If your body is on a 30hour cycle, that is not DSPS, it's Non-24.

[–]kilo4fun 0 points1 point ago

You're right, thanks.

[–]TheShaker 0 points1 point ago

You know what's really fun? Herpes.

[–]imlulz 0 points1 point ago

Touche

[–]ActuallyAnAlpaca 0 points1 point ago

You know what's fun? Cancer

[–]Saine 0 points1 point ago

I have a form of insomnia (according to my doctor) that I fall asleep easily but wake up constantly in the middle of the night but have no memories of it. Similar to sleepwalking but he thinks it has evolved from my night terrors.

[–]MadMagyar92 1 point2 points ago

That sounds very similar to sleep apnea... Did you guys consider that?

[–]Saine 0 points1 point ago

I have had some people suggest it may be that. Point is, I fall asleep early and get 8 hours a sleep, but it's more like I only get a few hours of sleep from the wakings.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like the plot to an excellent thriller. Create from your pain

[–]tearbo 0 points1 point ago

"Insomnia (or sleeplessness) is most often defined by an individual's report of sleeping difficulties. While the term is sometimes used in sleep literature to describe a disorder demonstrated by polysomnographic evidence of disturbed sleep, insomnia is often defined as a positive response to either of two questions: "Do you experience difficulty sleeping?" or "Do you have difficulty falling or staying asleep?"" -Wikipedia

[–]Khad 30 points31 points ago

WHY IS HE FACING THE WRONG DIRECTION?!

[–]darkstrategyhd 7 points8 points ago

Cause, hes motha fuckin willy wonka.

[–]graydragon95[S] 0 points1 point ago

It was just the app I was using haha

[–]mr_doohit 8 points9 points ago

Nailed it, and stuck the landing, too. What am I supposed to say to these people when they are writing "Why am i still up?! Cant sleep..UGH!" step 1...put down the Book of Face....

[–]Lennobowski 23 points24 points ago

You don't have insomnia. You have a fucked up sleeping pattern. Shut up.

[–]nodefect 27 points28 points ago

1am, I wouldn't even call that fucked up. Irregular at worst.

[–]kaede1s 14 points15 points ago

Normal for me.

[–]nodefect 4 points5 points ago

For me too, hence "at worst".

[–]grimking 0 points1 point ago

I am well aware I don't have insomnia, just what i like to believe is a fucked up sleeping pattern. I have not gone to sleep before 2am in the last 2 years. Getting up at 5-6am every day. That however, is not insomnia.

[–]shiftius 7 points8 points ago

Try 5am, that's fucked up, 1am is my norm... Well it might be some day

[–]Kratzyyy 2 points3 points ago

There's a guy on my uni course who's always bragging about how he's pulled an all nighter or got 4 hours sleep that night because he's "got insomnia". I'm too passive to tell him to shut the fuck up but it really pisses me off.

[–]Nomikos 2 points3 points ago

Ooh, link him to his submission & thread, we'll have fun :)

[–]BosnianFish 5 points6 points ago

I don't have insomnia but I wish I could get to bed that early, I only get around 30 hours of sleep a week.

[–]googie_g15 3 points4 points ago

4 hours of sleep is a good night for me.

[–]docious 5 points6 points ago

I de-friend people all the time. BE strong.

[–]kaede1s -2 points-1 points ago

I don't even have a Facebook. I win.

[–]germandoorman 5 points6 points ago

someone should give you the medal of bravery

[–]throwawayweedshit 1 point2 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]kilo4fun 12 points13 points ago

                jerk
           jerk      jerk
        jerk           jerk
           jerk      jerk
                jerk

[–]Net_Bastard 1 point2 points ago

brb, adding this to my clipboard.

[–]crumbsm8 8 points9 points ago

Everyone in here hates people just as much as me :')

[–]teefax 13 points14 points ago

I have noticed over the last years on facebook, that general people have NO idea what true insomnia means, just like depression.

If you sleep each night, but occationally miss a few hours, ITS NOT INSOMNIA.

If you can get up and go to school/work everyday, but gets a little sad because you missed some homework, or missed one day because you overslept and feel guilty, ITS NOT DEPRESSION.

Stop using those terms so randomly, you goddamn sheeps!

[–]sesaman 8 points9 points ago

I agree but

you goddamn sheeps!

It's "sheep" not "sheeps".

Sorry.

[–]ras344 8 points9 points ago

At least he didn't say "sheeple."

[–]_newtothis 2 points3 points ago

[–]Nomikos 1 point2 points ago

Facebook == exaggerated drama.

[–]RahvinDragand 1 point2 points ago

I feel the same way about OCD. Just because you like to be neat and organized doesn't mean you have a disorder.

[–]thediscokid 2 points3 points ago

i sleep 10-15 hours a week and i missed the last week and a half of school because i couldnt leave the house..... do i win anything?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

If I sit in bed staring at the ceiling from 1 until 3.30 is that insomnia?

[–]FuzzWool 10 points11 points ago

It's intense ceiling-love

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

There is nothing wrong with a little love between a man and a ceiling, is there?

[–]thediscokid 2 points3 points ago

i've found that audiobooks help, if you are gonna stare, might as well learn something.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Good idea, I'll look into that!

[–]FuzzeeLumpkins 2 points3 points ago

I've fudged my sleeping pattern recently and now I sleep at 0800/0900 and wake at 1730ish

[–]thediscokid 2 points3 points ago

thats because you are sleeping at attention......

[–]fashigady 2 points3 points ago

I do this all the time in between semesters, then when uni goes back my brain melts and is replaced by coffee. Its a good system, I swear!

[–]drugks 4 points5 points ago

yet another reason to delete fb profile. had enough of me me me me

[–]The_Mosephus 10 points11 points ago

as an engineering student.... What the fuck is sleep?

[–]thechosen2 10 points11 points ago

Cool, man. Way to capitalize on the never-used "engineering is really tough" cliche. Good for you, man.

[–]Say_Ocean 6 points7 points ago

Yeah man, don't you know that no other major has any workload?

[–]dumase[!] -1 points0 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]turtal46 -5 points-4 points ago

Hey man, that's uncalled for. What's wrong? Is it Becky?

[–]Ehsaun 1 point2 points ago

I've had insomnia for a month before, shittiest thing ever.

[–]ozomatly 1 point2 points ago

Things like this is why I deleted my facebook account. Don't miss it at all.

[–]JessicaSF 1 point2 points ago

This made me laugh. Thanks :)

[–]lightjedi5 1 point2 points ago

I just keep these jokers around for free entertainment.

[–]dhays202 1 point2 points ago

I think it's strange that they're friends with someone who quietly judges them with pictures on reddit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Oh, your image is flipped? You must be so proud of your photoshop skills.

[–]IRAPEYOURDEADGRANDMA 2 points3 points ago

Go to bed at 1 am, fall asleep at 4 am -______-

[–]TenkaiStar 0 points1 point ago

I have always had trouble sleeping. Close to needing medication, and seeing people whine when they can´t get their 8 hours of sleep is kind of cute.

[–]SKREAM 0 points1 point ago

If you can avoid meds, do. I've tried benzos and zopiclone and while they worked well for me, in the mornings I always felt so hungover and groggy. That and they can be addictive so they're only short term solutions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Because you are young?

[–]Alateriel 0 points1 point ago

I swear to god I was just thinking about making this on my drive to work twenty minutes ago. -.-

[–]thediscokid 0 points1 point ago

i'd give everything i own to sleep like a baby..... fuck iraq.......

[–]BeastWriter 0 points1 point ago

birds of a feather...

[–]idrinkcoldcoffee 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand why you're on Facebook in general.

[–]dlarosa12 0 points1 point ago

Why is Willy looking the opposite way?

[–]yo dawg!JordyMOOcow 0 points1 point ago

Anybody find it strange how a lot of condescending wonka memes start off with "oh,"?

[–]number1teebs 0 points1 point ago

lunch at 5:30, drinking around 10, get to bed early afternoon, nap on and off throughout the early evening, wake up around 7.

[–]hotnasty 0 points1 point ago

to feel better about yourself... and ridicule them on the reddit

[–]workacct20910 0 points1 point ago

It was 430am. And yes I posted on facebook at about 3.

FFFFFUUUUU

[–]GroundhogExpert 0 points1 point ago

Why did you flip the image?

[–]CoolMAF 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for inverted wonka

[–]Dick_Serious 0 points1 point ago

This goes along with girls who think they are "so nerdy" cause they like the harry potter movies.

[–]solidstripes 0 points1 point ago

It's called being an engineering major...

[–]Underlying 0 points1 point ago

1 am isn't late.

[–]graydragon95[S] 0 points1 point ago

HOLY SHIT GUYS!! This is my first post that got over 30 karma! Thanks!! :D

[–]Dunador 0 points1 point ago

I'm not an insomniac I'd say, I'd say I'm more nocturnal, in that I go to bed at about 6-7am every night/morning, and wake up at 2pm to go to work.

Besides, I hate mornings. Well, except for the bacon. Why can't we cook bacon at times other than mornings?

[–]TwasARockLobsta 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how many people confuse insomnia with being a lazy fuck that just sits around on the internet all night.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Stop using facebook.

[–]jakeyboy909 0 points1 point ago

4am bro here, gonna buy some chocolate pudding tomorrow, shit's gonna be so cash

I've lost control of my life

[–]4iZ 0 points1 point ago

Fuck facebook. I deactivated my account today.

[–]hellowiththepudding 0 points1 point ago

This sort of thing always pissed me off. Napping during the day and not sleeping much at night isn't insomnia. That's just stupidity. As someone who has been diagnosed with insomnia it never ceases to amaze me how insensitive some people are.

[–]greensalt 0 points1 point ago

Insomnia is deciding to give Final Fantasy Tactics a try, then stopping 36 hours later after deciding it's a pretty damn awesome game.

Sidenote: Fun games stop being fun after about 25 hours.

[–]Produent 0 points1 point ago

Condescending Wonka is easily offended these days.

[–]DdysG1rl 0 points1 point ago

My insomnia is so bad I voluntarily work the overnights...I won't fucking be sleeping anyway.

[–]hellocruelworld 0 points1 point ago

I have had insomnia from a very young age, and this little pity party thing seriously bugs me like nothing else can.

[–]EvanAndyJones 0 points1 point ago

Kyle Kinane has some hilarious commentary on insomnia.

[–]Oddblivious 0 points1 point ago

Hahaha right. or the people

"I'm SO TIRED"

what did they go to bed? 12...

What time did they wake up? 12...

[–]boopidy-boop 0 points1 point ago

I have light to possibly moderate insomnia (asleep by 3 up by 6, once a week I just don't sleep) the thing that pisses me off most is when people hear and act like they know the problem (no coffee, melatonin, excersize) . Like I haven't tried the most obvious shit in the book!?

[–]Alteriorid 0 points1 point ago

"Let future me deal with it, sucker," is kinda how I operate. It's not so much insomnia as it is apathy towards stopping whatever I am doing.

[–]orangegluon 0 points1 point ago

Relevant: http://imgur.com/9RCFz

(copypasting this post to the comments section on the other submission as well, don't upvote the same comment twice)

[–]abattleofone 0 points1 point ago

Except insomnia isn't just the inability to fall asleep, but also the inability to stay asleep. The latter which is me, usually waking up every 15 minutes or so. Source

[–]hawksterdh 0 points1 point ago

Chuck Norris never sleeps

[–]Alabaz121 0 points1 point ago

i didnt go to sleep last night, i treid. but i couldnt... average day

[–]Asassinsneed 0 points1 point ago

instead you should ask yourself why you have a facebook? to keep track of friends? why keep track of friends? so you don't drift apart? why stop that? because friends are useful? why? because we're all doing everything to have a higher chance of survival and "allies" can help? why try to survive? is death really that bad?

no

[–]Adjecticve_Noun 0 points1 point ago

This works as an annoying facebook girl as well. It really annoys me because I totally do have insomnia, I went to bed at like 5 last night!

[–]zbrinz -1 points0 points ago

How about you delete them

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]imlulz 1 point2 points ago

Being tired, and being able to sleep are not the same thing.

[–]tungmick -1 points0 points ago

This guy in 3 of my classes has "insomnia". He sleeps in class. Waste of space

[–]imlulz 0 points1 point ago

Even if he has a medical condition?

[–]tungmick 0 points1 point ago

He says he was a hacker for the govt. currently taking intro to computers class. Hes a liar

[–]imlulz 0 points1 point ago

Thats a horse of a different color then. Carry on :)

[–]Leo22987 -2 points-1 points ago

You guys still use facebook? Thought it was more of a pre-2010 type deal.

I mean really, I see people daily complaining about the things they see on facebook. There is a simple solution

[–]LOLSEANZOR -1 points0 points ago

Try being an insomniac and being a clinical manic with no drink or fags in the house and all the shops are closed and the power is off. My life Tuesday last week.