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A long read, but worth it. Guy takes revenge on his ex when she tries to frame him for rape. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by [deleted]

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[–]flatlander00321 1067 points1068 points ago

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Fake as fuck. Evidence can't be presented the day of sentencing. Life isn't an episode of Matlock.

[–]chase_the_dragon 209 points210 points ago

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Question: Doesn't all evidence have to be known about by both parties before the trial?

[–]leshake 141 points142 points ago

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All evidence and witnesses must be presented to the opposing party before trial. The judge can refuse the entering of evidence that would amount to unfair surprise, although in criminal trials it's different. In the U.S. he would probably get a mistrial. You can't enter new evidence once trial has begun without showing that the evidence was not known or available.

[–]ApokalypseCow 50 points51 points ago

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That's all true for the US legal system, but this happened in Australia.

[–]Leper27 72 points73 points ago

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Generally, yes. But there are exceptions for newly discovered evidence. It's not like the judge would say "Oh you have evidence that completely exonerates you? Well, too bad cause you didn't tell the prosecutor. Guilty!"

[–]FenrirIII 40 points41 points ago

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You ask for a continuence and pass the evidence along, typically the judge will grant such a motion.

[–]Leper27 26 points27 points ago

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Requests for continuances in the middle of trial don't usually go over well. They might recess for a bit though to give the prosecutors a chance to review (at which point, any sane and ethical prosecutor in this case would move to dismiss).

[–]wieners 9 points10 points ago

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He admits to the lie in the last sentence.

"Pic related, it's her"

[–]karlomac 2 points3 points ago

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But you certainly don't just start playing the tape out of nowhere in front of the jury. Mistrial it would have been. Disbarred, the defence lawyer would have been.

[–]FenrirIII 2 points3 points ago

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Practiced law, Yoda did.

[–]BosqueBravo 29 points30 points ago

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This isn't newly discovered evidence though, this is concealed evidence. He'd be fucked if this were real.

[–]icepickjones 24 points25 points ago

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No, weren't you reading? His lawyer smiled and called him "cheeky" or some bullshit. I didn't really pay attention. The point is he willingly let himself be charged with a litany of crimes and then played a vhs cassette randomly at the end to make a picture of a girl he found on the internet mad.

[–]Travesura 6 points7 points ago

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My boss was defendant in a civil suit, and his lawyers discreetly told him that they did not need to see the employees time cards that would exonerate him.

The day of the trial the lawyers "discovered" that there were time cards, and had them introduced them as "new" evidence that they had never seen before.

Sneaky trick, but it worked.

[–]leshake 11 points12 points ago

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Did you read what I wrote? I said there are exceptions.

[–]Leper27 8 points9 points ago

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Sorry, didn't think it was clear. If you have exonerating evidence in a criminal trial, declaring a mistrial would be an inappropriate solution.

[–]MurderNoodleSoup 4 points5 points ago

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If the tape was simply offered for impeachment of her statements made on the stand this would not have been required to be disclosed. If they were trying to admit it as substantive evidence of innocence, then yes, it I agree with you. But any attorney holding onto such obviously exculpatory evidence for impeachment on the chance that it can be used as such is taking on a huge risk, and almost assuredly committing malpractice.

[–]Khalku 1 point2 points ago

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He didn't know in advance, the client did.

Still probably fake.

[–]Corjo 7 points8 points ago*

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Not in Canada, they can dismiss all your evidence with our looking at it and just say " no, you're guilty".... True story, happened to me... Fuck our legal system is shit Edit: MNR placed charges on our hunting group after 2 years of doing nothing, we were insolent and they were called over a family feud... Then during the pre trail were they look at evidence the judge didn't care and said " your guilty" ( dust even ask for our story or anything) Later on during the actual trial anytime one us tried to bring up evidence against them the judge threatened to charge us with contempt. Me and my father were not charged due to my civil rights being violated when they first came when we were hunting ( I was a minor and was refused to have my father present, and they threatened me with jail time of I didn't sign there statement. Not sure what happened to everyone else, though I know they lost there license and got a few thousand dollar fine

[–]xzez 13 points14 points ago

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wtf. As a Canadian, kinda wanna know what happened here.

[–]LeGeantVert 2 points3 points ago

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I second that motion for information as a Canadian

[–]oniongasm 2 points3 points ago

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I don't believe you're Canadian. Either of you. Neither one of you said please! Though you at least were more polite.

[–]franklymydear20 4 points5 points ago

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The prosecution has to disclose everything. The defendant doesn't have to disclose anything except an alibi ahead of time to give the prosecution a chance to investigate the claim.

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      [–]irishelcid 10 points11 points ago

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      Yes. It's called discovery.

      [–]Husker25 3 points4 points ago

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      Not by the defendant in criminal cases. The prosecution has to give the defendant everything they have, but the defendant does not need to reciprocate.

      Nonetheless, this story is clearly fake.

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        [–]HitMePat 103 points104 points ago

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        Not to mention playing a video of a 17 year old blowing you in court might be a little of a legal issue. Not to mention the OP filming a 17 year old blowing him

        [–]iluvatar 20 points21 points ago

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        That's legal in my country (and AFAIK, in most others).

        [–]AHippie 9 points10 points ago

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        In Maryland (USA), it would be legal to have sex with a 17 year old but illegal to film it.

        Also, a quick google search found this:

        § 553. Unnatural or perverted sexual practices.

        Every person who is convicted of taking into his or her mouth the sexual organ of any other person or animal, or who shall be convicted of placing his or her sexual organ in the mouth of any other person or animal, or who shall be convicted of committing any other unnatural or perverted sexual practice with any other person or animal, shall be fined not more than one thousand dollars ($1,000.00) or be imprisoned in jail or in the house of correction or in the penitentiary for a period not exceeding ten years, or shall be both fined and imprisoned within the limits above prescribed in the discretion of the court.

        And in any indictment for the commission of any of the acts, hereby declared to be offenses, it shall not be necessary to set forth the particular unnatural or perverted sexual practice with the commission of which the defendant may be charged, not to set forth the particular manner in which said unnatural or perverted sexual practice was committed, but it shall be sufficient if the indictment set forth that the defendant committed a certain unnatural and perverted sexual practice with a person or animal, as the case may be.

        Something tells me it would be rather difficult to charge someone with that in this day and age, however.

        [–]funtervention 5 points6 points ago

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        Very hard.

        [–]AHippie 2 points3 points ago

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        Well there you go. This is why I'm not a lawyer.

        [–]chopp3r 1 point2 points ago

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        I recommend taking a cold shower.

        [–]Arturos 1 point2 points ago

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        I thought this was a pun, and the link would continue the joke. Genuinely not disappointed, though.

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          [–]Leper27 3 points4 points ago

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          Might be true with intentional filming. Def not the case here.

          [–]Xoebe 3 points4 points ago

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          I would bet a year's salary the law makes no distinction. Not only would that require some thought and consideration on the part of the legislators -pfft, as if - but having a clause like that would simply make ownership of "unintentional" child porn legal.

          [–]Leper27 2 points3 points ago

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          You would lose your salary. You're confusing possession (which also must be intentional - that is the possession of the porn has to be intentional, not the actual filming) of child porn with filming child porn.

          Not to mention, there are exceptions for evidentiary purposes. It's not like a jury commits a crime by viewing child porn in a trial.

          [–]McWut 2 points3 points ago

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          Then you would lose a year's salary.

          How about this. Two 15 year olds go to the corner store. Have sex in front of a camera while the cashier is busy. Is the owner of the corner store guilty of possession of child pornography?

          How about a security camera at home? Your son has a party, some of his friends have sex in front of a camera in a room where you would not expect people to have sex or be naked (i.e. not in the bathroom or in bedroom). Are you guilty? Almost certainly not.

          [–]Chubbstock 60 points61 points ago

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          He has to, by law, you're entitled. It's called disclosure, you dickhead! He has to show you everything, otherwise it could be a mistrial. He has to give you a list of all his witnesses, you can talk to all his witnesses, he's not allowed any surprises!

          MonaLisa Vito, My Cousin Vinny

          [–]AnorexicManatee 4 points5 points ago

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          Vinny Gambini: So, Mr. Tipton, how could it take you 5 minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit eating world 20 minutes?

          Mr. Tipton: I don't know, I'm a fast cook I guess.

          Vinny Gambini: I'm sorry I was all the way over here I couldn't hear you did you say you were a fast cook, that's it?

          Mr. Tipton: Yeah.

          Vinny Gambini: Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than anywhere else on the face of the earth?

          Mr. Tipton: I don't know.

          Vinny Gambini: Well, I guess the laws of physics cease to exist on top of your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

          favorite scene

          [–]Frigguggi 76 points77 points ago

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          Even if this could be true, who would really go through the whole trial, getting his name dragged through the mud in the local news, everyone thinking he was a rapist, just to spite her? Even when he's "vindicated," he still comes off as a giant prick.

          [–]toddriffic 56 points57 points ago

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          Also, I'm pretty sure withholding evidence like this to the last second could be considered obstruction of justice.

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            [–]zarmin 41 points42 points ago

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            STOP RUINING TELEVISION FOR ME

            [–]Wordwench 9 points10 points ago

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            AND THE HOPES OF FOREVER ALONES EVERYWHERE

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              [–]jzacc 37 points38 points ago

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              Good point. That makes this really shitty. I can understand a guy being bitter about an ex who falsely accused him of rape, but what the fuck is it now? It's just some bitter internet nerd wanting an excuse to call a woman a cumdumpster a dozen times.

              [–]Nrksbullet 17 points18 points ago

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              Even if it was true, it would still be a shitty story. Complete douchebag is a douchebag to an apparently douchebag girl? Sounded like a juvenille idiot the entire story anyways, one I would gladly punch in the face.

              [–]nefastus 11 points12 points ago

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              Also, "blow me" would not have been taken literally in the context that he said it. It would be taken to mean "no, I won't help you", so she would have been immediately pissed off right when he said that.

              [–]baberg 18 points19 points ago

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              Not to mention the fact that he's given false police reports and false testimony. He'd be convicted of perjury for that shit, and probably held in contempt for wasting the court's time.

              I can't count the number of ways this is bullshit.

              [–]DeathByFarts 1 point2 points ago

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              Not saying the story is not bullshit .. I agree that it is ..

              But really .. what testimony would have been given ? He would have shut up the moment he was arrested and lawyered up.

              His taking teh stand at trial could indeed be the first time he is speaking 'on the record' about the accusations.

              [–]baberg 2 points3 points ago

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              Lying to the police when they are investigating a crime can be obstruction of justice. He could also be sued for wasting the police department's time and resources.

              Let's just agree this is not funny, bullshit, and full of holes.

              [–]Heatherhef712 19 points20 points ago

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              This. Thank you.

              [–]Travis-Touchdown 6 points7 points ago

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              Australia's justice system isn't necessarily the same as the U.S. justice system

              [–]wowowowowow12 2 points3 points ago

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              Yeah that part didn't sound right to me at all either. And I'm no lawyer.

              [–]Sacoud 1 point2 points ago

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              Surely it could? If evidence was found late on and would clearly prove someone innocent they'd delay the sentencing?

              [–]Nrksbullet 3 points4 points ago

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              But it wasn't found late on, he knew about it the entire time.

              [–]icehouse_lover 1 point2 points ago

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              Bad-mouth 4-chan as much as you'd like, but leave Matlock out of it!

              [–]diphiminaids 1 point2 points ago

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              He also left out where he was charged with rape and held until his court date.

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                [–]ulab 71 points72 points ago

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                At least he got a decent picture of "her" somewhere of the internet:

                http://4minuten.eu/2010/09/10/20-schonheiten-die-deinen-tag-leichter-machen-20-fotos/hotties-4/ http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/9505/1258928250262.jpg

                [–]ohmyword 34 points35 points ago

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                internet detective: level 8

                [–]larwk 20 points21 points ago

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                That pic is posted around 20,000 times a day on 4chan (I counted once). No but seriously it's been posted more times daily than the word "Santorum" has been on reddit in the past month.

                [–]djmachx 1 point2 points ago

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                God I would kill for a gonewild submission from her!

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                  [–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

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                  I'm surprised he didn't finish the story by claiming he banged the gavel himself and proclaimed "Case Dismissed".

                  [–]EatATaco 16 points17 points ago

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                  And had anal sex with the judge right there in the court room while the jury was in recess.

                  [–]oniongasm 9 points10 points ago

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                  Banged the gavel

                  ಠ_ಠ

                  [–]Evernoob 48 points49 points ago

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                  This poorly written story has more holes in it than swiss cheese. Clearly fake.

                  [–]gaspanics 19 points20 points ago

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                  I am swiss and I can confi...nomnomnom.

                  [–]Epicman 1 point2 points ago

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                  Ok that was unexpected and hilarious.

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                    [–]MmmQue 258 points259 points ago

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                    Well.....that's.....fake.........

                    [–]aarman90 72 points73 points ago*

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                    WTF SINCE WHEN IS SHIT ON 4CHAN FAKE ಠ_ಠ

                    EDIT: really? Upboats??

                    [–]Nrksbullet 2 points3 points ago

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                    I like how this reply has 14 upvotes, but you made the same exact reply above and it has 9 downvotes.

                    [–]5seclog 11 points12 points ago

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                    The thing about 4chan is that there's actually a good chance that it's real. When someone shares a story about fucking a goat or say they're planning to shoot up a school, they are just as likely to be telling the truth as they are lying. In theory, stories on reddit are more likely to be false than ones on 4chan because of the added incentive to come up with fake stories to earn karma.

                    [–]alistairtenpennyson 12 points13 points ago

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                    How dare you, 5seclog, voice reason on our hallowed grounds.

                    [–]X-Craft 6 points7 points ago

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                    Or, someone with your theory in mind could post a story on 4chan, take a printscreen, post on reddit and get karma.

                    [–]skinny_nerd 2 points3 points ago

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                    this thing's been going around on 4chan for years, while I've never seen it here before.

                    yes. I waste a lot of time.

                    [–]aarman90 1 point2 points ago

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                    Give me one example other than that crazy sword dude (that was awesome).

                    [–]5seclog 1 point2 points ago

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                    That time 4chan was given a location of a body.
                    That time someone said they were going to shoot up a school, then did.
                    That time someone fucked a skull.
                    And that woman naked inside a dead horse posted pics on 4chan.
                    And that just /b/. /cgl/ has awesome crazy weaboo stories and there's probably some war-crimes and self defence killings in /k/.
                    I'm not saying most of the stories are true, but there's an unnervingly high chance that the worst stories are true, like those pictures of a little girl tied up in a basement. I'd give links but I'm not one of those people who keep a folder of stuff from 4chan.

                    [–]JTHipster 110 points111 points ago

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                    This is what happens when 14 year holds make up stories.

                    [–]sploogeannomatron 10 points11 points ago

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                    Also rage comics.

                    [–]aptrapani 4 points5 points ago

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                    I wouldn't be so sure... the words "blow me" to a girl who is hysterically crying usually prove successful for me.

                    [–]yourotherusername 4 points5 points ago

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                    Sixty percent of the time it works every time.

                    [–]MrTurkle 28 points29 points ago

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                    In my fantasy, I drove to court in a new Bently, and was engaged to a super model.

                    [–]Radbolt 124 points125 points ago

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                    I can't see a lawyer laughing about his client withholding evidence from him. That lawyer probably had a shitty time trying to come up with a defense up to that point.

                    [–]ronin1066 64 points65 points ago

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                    except that it's fake, there's no lawyer that would find that amusing right at that moment.

                    [–]PooPooDooDoo 10 points11 points ago

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                    But the guy on 4chan never said it is fake so that implies that it is 100% true.

                    [–]aptrapani 7 points8 points ago

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                    The lawyer is looking out for their clients' well being, but he is not their buddy. Obviously he wouldn't find it amusing. He would be pissed. His job was made so much harder because of this guy's pride. That is, of course, if any of it were even close to real.

                    [–]suspicious_quote 10 points11 points ago

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                    "You magnificent BASTARD! [hi five] [double high five] [fist bump] [fist explodes into finger-shakes with related ignition sounds heard in tandem] [leaping side-to-side hip bumps repeated 6x's, 3 each hip] [jumping chest bump] [Braveheart handshake] [ass slap] [double ass slap] [fist pump down low]. YOUR HONOR, THIS BLOWJOB!!!! CASE CLOSED!" -Matlock

                    [–]snatchenvy 1 point2 points ago

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                    "I thank you for withholding this evidence for the past few weeks. My bill also thanks you. An easy win for me, and easy money in my pockets. Plus this is a legal story I can tell while drunk and not bore people to death."

                    [–]nefastus 16 points17 points ago*

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                    Also, I don't think it would really evidence of anything in his favor; if held the fact that she needed help against her in order to get sex, and then didn't even help her, isn't that rape? I mean for one, holding someone's needs against them for sex can probably be considered rape in most states, but then having sex under false pretenses is probably considered rape in other states. If not anything else, he would probably be found guilty of blackmail; he put her under the impression she would have had to reveal information about herself to her friends or family if she didn't comply.

                    [–]lacewingfly 5 points6 points ago

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                    I don't think it's rape, but it might be blackmail. She committed it willingly, but under false pretences. He didn't force her to do anything really. She also implied that she enjoyed it...

                    It's fake anyway so why are we discussing it? haha xD

                    [–]mvduin[!] 6 points7 points ago

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                    Yeah, to me it sounds like he did rape her

                    (If it were real)

                    [–]lions-are-cool 1 point2 points ago

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                    I'm pretty sure coercion comes into play with rape charges. Pretty sure that video could be used as proof of it.

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                      [–]mincerray 34 points35 points ago

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                      Is the point of this submission to laugh at /b/'s understanding of rape and the criminal justice system?

                      [–]DoctorNose 174 points175 points ago

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                      Whoever wrote this doesn't have a clue how court proceedings or admitting things to evidence works.

                      Anyone who believes this is real is an absolute moron.

                      [–]kyari05 2 points3 points ago

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                      No way it totally works like that! I saw it in Phoenix Wright!

                      [–]MadeSenseAtTheTime 14 points15 points ago

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                      Whomever wrote this clearly doesn't understand how our courts work, and I'm not doubting that this post is utter BS, but to call anyone and everyone that might believe this for any number of reasons "an absolute moron" is moronic.

                      Ignorance and/or naivete do not the moron make.

                      [–]yourotherusername 8 points9 points ago

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                      Ignorance and/or naivete do not the moron make.

                      No, it takes years of dedicated practice.

                      [–]downvotesmakemehard 3 points4 points ago

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                      our courts work

                      Define OUR? Hint: the story didn't take place in the US.

                      [–]MadeSenseAtTheTime 1 point2 points ago

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                      Our: people reading and saying the poster doesn't get it.

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                          [–]Starslip 15 points16 points ago

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                          Can we leave the retarded shit on /b/?

                          [–]sweatypants 13 points14 points ago

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                          i'm sure his dad was laughing after paying thousands in lawyer fees. "good job son, your little revenge was totally worth a year of college tuition. bravo!"

                          [–]dont_hug_me 2 points3 points ago

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                          At the end he claims she had to pay his legal bills. Which of course is not true. First off, she wasn't the one prosecuting, the city/state/whatever was. So if anyone is paying, it's them. Of course, they would never pay his legal bills, either. Can you imagine the drop in reporting crimes if people had to risk paying the defendant's bills if they were found innocent? Ridiculous story is ridiculous.

                          [–]Lusankya 26 points27 points ago

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                          This isn't TV. Withholding evidence is illegal, as the defense has the right to see the evidence against them to muster a defense and vice versa.

                          At best the trial would be put into recess. In reality the OP would be charged with evidence fraud. The ex would be able to sue him into the stone age for legal fees and suffering.

                          [–]dorklogic 8 points9 points ago

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                          4chan; didn't read

                          [–]THEsolid85 10 points11 points ago

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                          why is this on /r/funny and not /r/4chan? this sort of obviously fake story doesn't belong in funny.

                          [–]MeloJelo 1 point2 points ago

                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                          Also, even if it weren't fake, it's really not funny. It's about being selfish and cold-hearted, and then seeking revenge for a false accusation in the most sadistic way possible.

                          [–]KumbajaMyLord 18 points19 points ago

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                          Not much has not happened as much as this did not ever happen.

                          [–]GetHandsome 7 points8 points ago

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                          Even if this were real, why would people be upvoting it? I don't know what it says about someone that THIS would be their revenge fantasy.

                          [–]ninjagrover 8 points9 points ago

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                          Well, I'm sure the OP would be up for possession/creation of child porn if they are under 17.

                          Age of consent is 16, however if an child takes a pic of themselves in a sexual situation, volia child porn. Teen boy takes a photo of his penis? Child porn.

                          [–]davister 7 points8 points ago

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                          Thank you OP, I will be adding a new chapter to my book "The History of Things that Have Never Happened"

                          [–]plixxx 104 points105 points ago

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                          Still a better love story than Twilight.

                          [–]oouncolaoo 40 points41 points ago

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                          Still less statutory rape than Twilight...

                          [–]bigbabich 25 points26 points ago

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                          This place has gone to shit. Seriously. This story is fucking retarded even by 4chan standards. You ought to be pushed into a giant slingshot and launched into a giant shit sandwich.

                          What are you, 15 or something?

                          [–]youdipidipwedip 45 points46 points ago

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                          Entertaining. But total bullshit.

                          [–]TiredMold 26 points27 points ago

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                          It's actually scary how upvoted this is. Not just because it's really obviously fake and anyone who believes the story is a dipshit--but because this is some crazy, woman-hating shit right here.

                          It's a picture of a pretty girl and a fake story about her being a WHORE and a LIAR and a BITCH and SUCKING DICK FOR FAVORS and being HUMILIATED and her life RUINED in PUBLIC.

                          [–]6times9is42 10 points11 points ago

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                          Things that never happened - this.

                          [–]AdamPorter 6 points7 points ago

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                          wouldn't the tape be considered child porn?

                          [–]Boglioni 5 points6 points ago

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                          so fucking fake.

                          [–]groverwood 5 points6 points ago

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                          bullshit bullshit bullshit aaaaannnnddd bullshit.

                          [–]The_Insurance 5 points6 points ago

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                          faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake

                          [–]Broonhilda 4 points5 points ago

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                          Yeah right, did you know the word gullible isn't in the dictionary?

                          [–]RedVell 4 points5 points ago

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                          This guy's a real asshole. Straight up.

                          [–]swampfox19 3 points4 points ago

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                          This guy is a douchebag

                          [–]Mark_Lincoln 4 points5 points ago

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                          A collision at the intersection of asshole and jerk.

                          [–]Frank4010 3 points4 points ago

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                          Bullshit story.

                          [–]losjoooo 4 points5 points ago

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                          Short read; someone on Reddit actually believes the shit posted on 4chan.

                          [–]Nebakanezzer 2 points3 points ago

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                          1. you cant submit evidence like that
                          2. no one would gamble jail time on a shaky piece of "evidence"
                          3. the "evidence" is CP in most states and wouldn't be shown in a court room
                          4. your lawyer would not find it amusing you withheld anything let alone evidence until you were in trial
                          5. having a video of your ex blowing you isnt evidence you didn't rape her, just evidence she blew you sometime
                          6. you arn't found "innocent" you're found not guilty
                          7. etc etc etc etc etc, but you already knew these

                          [–]IamOsaa1995 4 points5 points ago

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                          Haha! That picture is from google images.

                          [–]ChadwickHenryWard 14 points15 points ago

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                          It's really embarrassing that this vile misogynist bullshit gets eaten up by Reddit. Does Reddit really hate women so much that this disgusting revenge fantasy enjoys currency here?

                          [–]adnewton 2 points3 points ago

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                          TL;DR

                          [–]MadeSenseAtTheTime 2 points3 points ago

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                          Wasn't believable, hard to understand with the poor grasp of English and really not even funny. Come on sokratesz, I'm sure you could find something better to poach, couldn't you?

                          [–]altanon 2 points3 points ago

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                          Depending on local laws, the video could be evidence of statutory rape taking place. He did mention she was 17 when this took place, yes?

                          [–]Revertit 2 points3 points ago

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                          Hasn't there been about three thousand versions of this story by now? All it's missing is Fwd:Fwd.....

                          [–]Bestpaperplaneever 2 points3 points ago

                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                          If this were real, which it ain't, wouldn't he have uploaded the video, rather than just posting the picture of a random girl?

                          [–]2_eyed_cyclops 2 points3 points ago

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                          Your anus must be jealous of all the shit flowing from your mouth

                          [–]atasteofkillings 2 points3 points ago

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                          Horrible.

                          [–]3danimator 2 points3 points ago

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                          Wait, does the OP actually think this is true? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

                          HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

                          HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

                          [–]EatATaco 2 points3 points ago

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                          And if you believe this story, I have a bridge to sell you.

                          [–]DeltaShield 2 points3 points ago

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                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7w64fbqYQY

                          [–]kebbz 2 points3 points ago

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                          on the off chance that this actually happened... both the guy and the girl are fucking assholes. when a girl comes to you crying because she is pregnant, despite any fucking issues you have with her, you don't tell her to blow you, allow her to do it with no intentions to help her (and no remorse)... then proceed tell her to get the fuck out. and i obviously don't have to explain why the girl is an asshole. furthermore, i don't want to live on this planet anymore... Edit: also, this isn't funny.

                          [–]HireALLTheThings 2 points3 points ago

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                          This is the part where another 4channer posts "fake and gay."

                          [–]fatnjiggly 2 points3 points ago

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                          Yeah this is total bullshit. Besides all of the other flaws everyone has mentioned, you can't withhold evidence like that with the intention of delaying or lengthening the trial.

                          [–]Ceigee 2 points3 points ago

                          Oh for fuck's sake, just pretend it's real and bathe in the glory of manhood.

                          [–]claudesoph 62 points63 points ago

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                          proof that the almighty hates women

                          What the fuck? You are all terrible people for liking this. No matter how good his story may have been or how much she certainly deserved it, shit like that is not ok, ever.

                          [–]taco_tuesdays 12 points13 points ago

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                          also not telling her boyfriend cause he'd fuck off on her (as a real man would)

                          There are some seriously disturbed people on 4chan

                          [–]gkow 4 points5 points ago

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                          Yea. I had a problem with that statement as well.

                          [–]Torlen 4 points5 points ago

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                          The whole story was made up anyways. You can't pull shit like that in real life

                          [–]BobRawrley 4 points5 points ago

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                          But did you see? The girl in the picture was hot

                          [–]Flobblem 19 points20 points ago

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                          Why the fuck are you being downvoted?

                          I couldn't understand the whole Jessi Slaughter thing while I was on /b/, and I can't understand why this is good either.

                          So one shitty human being ruins the life of another shitty human being? Well done, drinks all round.

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                            [–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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                            It's amazing how many guys rush to jump in with "Finally, someone got back at the girl!" when in reality fake rape accusations don't really happen that often.

                            [–]Prownilo 19 points20 points ago

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                            I think it's less to do with how often they happen, and more to do with how powerless you would be if it did.

                            [–]guynumberthree 10 points11 points ago

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                            Interesting parallel there, isn't it?

                            Seriously, though, the constant hubbub about fake rape accusations makes victims less willing to come forward for fear of being branded a libelous slut, and makes it harder for those who do come forward to be believed. The actual numbers of false rape accusations are so low as to come nowhere near justifying the amount of noise MRA's make about the issue.

                            source

                            [–]hacksoncode 6 points7 points ago

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                            2% sounds like an appallingly high number, particularly if you ignore the fact that only 15% of all accusations are brought to trial.

                            Though I'm no fan of the police in general, it's kind of stretching credulity that in the other 83% of accusations the police went "oh, we believe you totally, but we're just not going to do anything about it".

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                              [–]Martino231 2 points3 points ago

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                              The reason guys have an issue with false rape accusations isn't because they happen a lot, but because the guy is often completely helpless when it does. If you have a one night stand with a girl and she cries rape then what can you do? There's often no real way for a guy to prove that it wasn't the case.

                              No one's saying it happens a lot, but women who make false rape claims are among the worst kinds of people.

                              Also this story is fake as hell.

                              [–]Creag 2 points3 points ago

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                              What in the hell does the frequency of the crime have to do with it? If it even happens ONE TIME its terrible, and people should be put in jail for a long time for doing it.

                              [–]MeloJelo 1 point2 points ago

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                              It is terrible, but when people talk about it all the time, it makes it seems like it's more common and more likely to happen to you. It's like talking about terrorism all the time, and then everyone being afraid they're going to be killed in a terrorist attack, when in fact they have more of a chance of being struck by lightening or being mauled by a pig.

                              Also, it's worse when people make up stories about girls making up rape accusations, because now you're multiplying the amount of times it happened in the minds of gullible audiences.

                              It's called the Availability Heuristic--if I can think of a time or two or three when an event occurred, it must occur a lot.

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                                  [–]post_post_modernism 7 points8 points ago

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                                  Yeah let's all read this fake story that discredits women reporting rape- the crime that is already the hardest to prove.

                                  [–]wr80 5 points6 points ago

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                                  She's hot as fuck, and this is fake as fuck. You owe my company 10 minutes of my time.

                                  [–]kikiftw 1 point2 points ago

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                                  It took you ten minutes to read that?

                                  [–]nosippinh8rade 3 points4 points ago

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                                  17 yo blowjob vid? child porn charge?

                                  [–]purplebadger9 3 points4 points ago

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                                  Especially because it was filmed without her knowledge or consent

                                  [–]vinsite 4 points5 points ago

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                                  This story is true. I read about it. After the trial ended, the defendant grabbed his new GF Megan Fox and they both flew away on his flying unicorn while the whole crowd outside threw bacon in the air.

                                  [–]sinat17 5 points6 points ago

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                                  Wow... both those people should be shot.

                                  [–]Speedyman 1 point2 points ago

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                                  Stop buying hondas! they have no soul!

                                  [–]timmytreeleg 1 point2 points ago

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                                  psssht.... that isn´t her... is it?

                                  [–]sr20inans2000 1 point2 points ago

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                                  it was a good story but, there is no one in the world that will sit in jail for a month holding evidence to set them free for revenge.

                                  [–]NigbarJalad 1 point2 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

                                  From the horse's mouth

                                  [–]miked1be 1 point2 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  Pretty sure I've seen a couple pictures of this same girl circulating the internet. The story sounds just a little too staged (sarcasm). Fake.

                                  [–]Benni88 1 point2 points ago

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                                  one of those stories where you nod lots while it being told and say "really?", "no way!" and such.

                                  [–]mosesonaquasar 1 point2 points ago

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                                  nans.

                                  [–]Spotpuff 1 point2 points ago

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                                  THIS SEEMS LEGIT GUYS.

                                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  I'm glad that this must be real because its written.

                                  [–]icepickjones 1 point2 points ago

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                                  My favorite fake stories are the ones where retards don't understand how laws work.

                                  [–]slooolz 1 point2 points ago

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                                  i think it was mean of him to accept the blowjob and THEN say she should go away.

                                  [–]Enjoiissweet 1 point2 points ago

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                                  Oh wow, look at all of these people on reddit that are suddenly experts on courts and the Judaical law!

                                  [–]Filberto 1 point2 points ago

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                                  This has been another astounding tale of SHIT THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

                                  [–]e3_thats_me 1 point2 points ago

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                                  Total misogyny and legal loopholes aside, isn't offering to help someone in exchange for favors considered solicitation, and the resulting withdrawal of said help a form of rape? As in, taking advantage of someone's vulnerable position for sexual favors kind of on the 'rape' side of the scale?

                                  [–]Tier4 1 point2 points ago

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                                  this would never happen in a real court and it is fake as shit

                                  [–]ikorolou 1 point2 points ago

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                                  why would this be funny?

                                  [–]DeSaad 1 point2 points ago

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                                  fake story is fake. It leaks credibility from about ten million different angles...

                                  [–]zfusfeld 1 point2 points ago

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                                  where is the part where he gets arrested for possession of child pornography?

                                  [–]NeoSpartacus 1 point2 points ago

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                                  The court would call a mistrial and he would be brought up on wasting government resources.

                                  More importantly who "accidentally" has recorded a porn? That line of bullshit is older than Betamax.

                                  [–]prezuiwf 2 points3 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  This is the fakest fake that ever faked. It's so fake I'm inclined to believe the picture is a paper mache replica of a girl who is, just for good measure, fake. And that the paper mache is of poor quality.

                                  [–]PirateVikingNinja 3 points4 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  Asshole, I was expecting someone in that story to open the door, get on the floor, and walk the goddamned dinosaur. Is that really too much to ask from a /b/ thread?

                                  [–]aerial_vegan 2 points3 points ago

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                                  This is the first time I've ever down voted something... ever...

                                  [–]max13007 3 points4 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  It's definitely fake, but even if it was true, he's just as much of a scumbag as her.

                                  [–]KiloPro 2 points3 points ago

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                                  Telling a vulnerable women to give you a bj for help is in itself an illegal act on multiple levels. Extortion, prostitution, and I would think an actual form of rape. You are a tremendous deuche

                                  [–]Portlande 5 points6 points ago

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                                  i would have shown the tape the minute i had to pay for a lawyer to take it further.

                                  [–]Wesside 6 points7 points ago

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                                  "If you cannot afford a lawyer one will be appointed to you"

                                  [–]MGSsancho 8 points9 points ago

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                                  Laws are different in australia.

                                  [–]Evernoob 16 points17 points ago

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                                  Additionally, held evidence not disclosed during discovery is inadmissable once the trial starts, so the punk would not have been permitted to show his tape. Not that this is the only problem with this bullshit story.

                                  [–]ragrath 2 points3 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  Couldn't he have claimed to not have realised the camera was running, and then "discover" it after the trial started?

                                  [–]Evernoob 2 points3 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  I'm not a lawyer, but if you want to introduce new evidence and claim that bullshit then the trial may have to be restarted at your cost.

                                  [–]DoctorNose 5 points6 points ago

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                                  Not that one.

                                  [–]Wesside 5 points6 points ago

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                                  Really? I thought this was pretty much a westernized country rule.

                                  [edit] We have it in Canada also.

                                  [–]Chnge 2 points3 points ago

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                                  it's pretty much the same in australia

                                  [–]tyrantlytamale 3 points4 points ago

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                                  "If you cannot afford...

                                  You don't just get one because it's "not in your budget." You legitimately have to be almost homeless.

                                  [–]dwerg85 2 points3 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  Not really. Where i'm at if you can prove your income is under a certain threshold the gov will provide you with a lawyer if you end up needing one for whatever reason.

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                                    [–]bahles 9 points10 points ago

                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                    The actions of this person are wholly despicable. I would even go so far as to say that he actually did rape her. Coercing someone into sex is as tantamount to rape. At the very least it is soliciting a prostitute.

                                    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                    Coercing someone into sex

                                    I can see where you're coming from but just saying "blow me" doesn't remotely constitute coercion. She could have refused, he didn't force her.

                                    The guy is still a prick, but I think it's pretty safe to assume none of it ever hapenned. So I wouldn't go up in arms for an hypothetical scenario.

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                                      [–]sloanbot 3 points4 points ago

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                                      Minor? I hardly know her!

                                      [–]tomrees 2 points3 points ago

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                                      Misogynistic sex fantasies. Well OK but why post in r/funny?

                                      [–]Chelesuarez 1 point2 points ago

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                                      BS judge would not allow the evidence. And your attorney would have dropped you like a ton of bricks if you tried to pull that on him.

                                      You watch too many movies, dude.

                                      [–]DarthDonut 2 points3 points ago

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Dude also sounds like an ass.

                                      load more comments (125 replies)

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