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all 171 comments

[–]spacey007 18 points19 points ago

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what about lesbians?

[–]heylookitsmykel 8 points9 points ago

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They already deal with their own menstrual cycles.

[–]vincidahk 4 points5 points ago

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and they magically sync. (if they live together)

[–]zedoriah 7 points8 points ago

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There's very little evidence that this is true.

[–]stopstigma 5 points6 points ago

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While it may seem to have little evidence it seems to happen to me. I always sync my period if I live with my mom or sister, if I'm on a trip with my best friend I sync to hers, and now my gf and I have synced periods. Maybe it's not true for the majority but still happens to some? Who knows. Sex is better when you sync periods, if both you and your gf have your period at the same time you both don't have sex instead of awkward times when only one can't.

[–]vincidahk 3 points4 points ago

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TIL ++

[–]Itchy_Back 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Kunkletown 20 points21 points ago

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Bitches be crazy... x2.

[–]semisane8 1 point2 points ago

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(I think) the bible says that no man shall lay next to another man, it doesn't say anything about chicks.

[–]stoneyscholar 0 points1 point ago

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i go to a christian school and a Big bible guy named STIX told me that its not as bad for some reason about their femininity

[–]nicebuffalo 37 points38 points ago

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Whoever captioned this, punctuation is good.

[–]qatmandue 4 points5 points ago

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I read this in Daniel Tosh's voice.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I also wish they wouldnt have cut off almost half the joke. That stand up is actually hilarious.

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 0 points1 point ago

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As fast as Tosh's jokes go, and the way they transition into each other, this picture could have been unbearably long.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I guess you are right, but still the funniest part of that joke was when he impersonated a gay guy and was like "uhhh, we're just gonna sleep with each other".

[–]Kelphatron9000 0 points1 point ago

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I was more preoccupied with the lack of punctuation, that I had to reread it 3 times to actually read it.

[–]InsertOneLiner 4 points5 points ago

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Good thing you didn't make a grammar error while complaining about someone else's grammar!

[–]Kelphatron9000 0 points1 point ago

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Is that sarcasm? Did I make a mistake? It's late and if I did, I'd rather be told up front.

[–]InsertOneLiner 8 points9 points ago

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Sort of, yes. More accurately, I guess you would say it was improper use of a word. The sentence doesn't really make sense with "more preoccupied" in there rather than "so preoccupied" or some similar variant. In reality, though, it's totally unimportant.

tl;dr: I just like being a bastard when people are picky about grammar.

[–]Kelphatron9000 2 points3 points ago

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Nope, I appreciate it. I'm an editor, so whenever I make a mistake of my own, I'd rather be notified.

[–]InsertOneLiner 2 points3 points ago

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In that case, it makes sense that a lack of punctuation would distract you.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Noshens 1 point2 points ago

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This conversation reminds me of

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfUnwynwZvE

[–]Jucoy -1 points0 points ago

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For once being Dyslexic made it easier to read something :D

[–]etree -3 points-2 points ago

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You're just stupid. A normal person would have redd it in one go.

[–]gmick -2 points-1 points ago

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The fact that they separated the word 'loophole' bothered me more.

[–]Talby1 111 points112 points ago

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His comedy special was hilarious, haters gunna hate.

[–]Quotes_Star_Wars 50 points51 points ago

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"You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now." - Darth Sidious (Episode VI: Return of the Jedi)

[–]triscuit540 2 points3 points ago

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I like this novelty account

[–]Quotes_Star_Wars 30 points31 points ago

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"Looks like somebody's beginning to take an interest in our handiwork." - Han Solo (Episode VI: Return of the Jedi)

[–]Draiko 6 points7 points ago

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I'm just waiting for "Quotes_Star_Trek" to come by and start replying "DARMOK AND JALAD AT TANAGRA!" to everything.

[–]Quotes_Star_Wars 23 points24 points ago

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"I have foreseen it." - Darth Sidious (Episode VI: Return of the Jedi)

[–]Patass 0 points1 point ago

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why are you saying darth sidious. fuck that. he's emperor palpatine. god.

[–]monevus 4 points5 points ago

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"Bitches ain't shit" - Emperor Sidious

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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fuck that he's just "the emperor"

[–]Quotes_Star_Trek 15 points16 points ago

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"DARMOK AND JALAD AT TANAGRA!" - Dathon ( Stark Trek the Next Generation Ep. 102)

[–]CannifiedOffense 6 points7 points ago

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This better not be a one time thing.

[–]Batman_Von_Suparman2 2 points3 points ago

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I think we just witnessed reddit history here folks.

[–]Quotes_Star_Trek 1 point2 points ago

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"Thank you for the advice, but I am trying to find two individuals with a snake." -- Data to a beggar (Star Trek the Next Generation: Time's Arrow)

[–]GoGoGadge7 1 point2 points ago

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This guy right here ladies and gentlemen!

[–]Canadiandane 0 points1 point ago

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Stark trek?

[–]muldoonx9 0 points1 point ago

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Will you quote the expanded universe too?

[–]Uriah_Heep 6 points7 points ago

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haters gunna hate

I can't wait for reddit to turn on this cliché, which is no better than "This."

[–]crustalmighty -5 points-4 points ago

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HATERS GUNNA HATE

[–]lostandforgottensoul 3 points4 points ago

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Came here hoping for Peter Tosh :/

[–]Kunkletown 43 points44 points ago

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Why does Tosh get so much hate? That special thes caps are from was hilarious. The individual jokes might not be tremendous by themselves but the delivery is just non-stop.

To the people who are saying he's not original.. fuck you. I watch a lot of comedy and I don't recognize any of the material. Even so, Comedians steal jokes from each other. Deal with it. It is all in the delivery anyway.

[–]Tabibito 28 points29 points ago

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Tosh as a stand up comic was pretty funny, original enough, but not very known. Then he landed a job at comedy central as the host of Gosh.0. Tosh as the host of Tosh.0 just showed a bunch of tired old youtube clips, his writers just had him regurgitate comments, and it was on a decent cable channel at a pretty decent time. So a lot of people got introduced to Daniel Tosh through Tosh.0 and started hatin'. Not really caring about his other work.

[–]brianbrianbrian 11 points12 points ago

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I don't know if that Gosh.0 was intentional or not, but I giggled and it was my favorite part of your comment.

[–]Tabibito 1 point2 points ago

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It wasn't intended, but I'll leave it since it made some one laugh. I'm tapping this out on my phone and didn't fell the need to save his name. My phone decided the show is called Gosh.0.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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redditors just hating on the fact he's making money from reposts, while they obsess over worthless karma

[–]thetasigma1355 1 point2 points ago

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while they obsess over worthless karma by reposting old meme's

FTFY

[–]jack_skellington 6 points7 points ago

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Why does Tosh get so much hate?

I always thought it was because he dissed Reddit about a year ago. There were multiple "AMA request: Tosh" posts as people eagerly tried to get him to interact on Reddit. Eventually, he responded with a photo of himself holding a sign saying something like, "I will not do an AMA on Reddit because I don't want to."

It wasn't a joke or anything. He just really didn't want to have anything to do with Reddit. He wouldn't otherwise reply.

Almost immediately, people were Photoshopping the picture and deriding him for his flat-out refusal. I kinda understood that. I mean, if I were a celebrity and had a group of a few thousand fans clamoring to chat with me, I do not think, "No, won't talk, not ever," is a response I'd go for. That's a bit alienating. I might have said, "Super busy on production schedule, but maybe later," or something like that.

Anyway, my impression was that Reddit, collectively as a whole, got butthurt.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 5 points6 points ago

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I thought that was hilarious and appreciated his honesty. Besides, being kinda a dick is his character and I can't hate him for that anymore than I can hate Colbert for his republican persona. It's all for a laugh and I think reddit takes itself too seriously sometimes. I mean what Tosh did was far from a diss.

[–]funkgerm 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah that's the way I saw it too. His whole character is supposed to be an arrogant dick. That's what his whole shtick is. Being nice and answering questions would totally be breaking character for him.

Also, it looks like he doesn't even want to be in the business at all and he's just doing it for the money. He's got a countdown timer on his website until his career ends and according to wikipedia he will do this by either committing suicide or retiring to a beach somewhere. I don't know if this is really true or not, or if it's part of his whole act or something, but it looks like he really doesn't give a shit about lasting fame or making a good impression on anyone, and I can actually kind of respect him for that.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 0 points1 point ago

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I think fame is a joke to him. He seems pretty aware of his place in the world and he's probably just making the best of it while it lasts. I bet that when that timer ends he's going to do something so crazy or dumb that it would be a career ender for anybody else but since he planned it, it will only blow him up more.

[–]funkgerm 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah that's pretty much what I see happening too. He will do something absolutely ridiculous which will only make him more famous.

[–]MightyMorph 0 points1 point ago

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would you do it any other way?

I mean realistically, we all know what kind of fame those stupid shows bring, your only in the spotlight for a few moments, then something new comes and you get replaced. he is being smart and really capitalizing on it, getting as much money as he can, then retire somewhere where he can live in peace.

I would do the same fucking shit if i was in his position.

[–]Kunkletown 2 points3 points ago

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I appreciate honesty. Reminds me a of girls who, rather than tell you they don't want to go out with you, just keep claim to be busy ever day you ask them out until you finally give up. I hate that.

[–]Vitalstatistix 5 points6 points ago

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Eh maybe. I think it's more likely that people on here basically feel like his show and his commentary are essentially just reposts of what they saw the day before. Not that he/his writers get their material from reddit (maybe they do, I don't know?), but for people who frequent reddit, most of his stuff is going to be shit they've seen before, so they just don't think it's that original.

Not saying I agree, for the record, just that's what my understanding of it has always been.

[–]PhylisInTheHood 0 points1 point ago

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The weird thing Is I've actually had several instances where I saw it on Tosh first. Maybe I'm just bad at Reddit

[–]Vitalstatistix 0 points1 point ago

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Meh, don't worry I have too. I can't watch youtube shit at work though, so I assume that's part of it.

[–]preesisters -1 points0 points ago

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I enjoy a joke of his here and there, but for the most part I just genuinely think his comedy style is forced and, well, not.... funny...

[–]Vitalstatistix -1 points0 points ago

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I find him to be funny at times, but like you, his act feels way too forced for me to enjoy him like I do Louis CK, Donald Glover, or other big names.

[–]tjsfive 0 points1 point ago

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It would have been cruel for him to lead everyone on like that.

[–]nope_nic_tesla 2 points3 points ago

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I hate Tosh because I don't think his funny, and the majority of his material is based on neckbeard braggadocio, racism, homophobia and misogyny (the latter of which is on display in this post).

[–]beetnemesis 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I don't know about overall hate, but I know I've read this specific joke many times in chain letters.

[–]the_catacombs 0 points1 point ago

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Tosh.0 is a tolerable TV show.

Dear god, be kind Reddit.

[–]caboose1234 -1 points0 points ago

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It's circular logic. The internet told them daniel tosh has no original material or talent. Therefore anything he says that's funny must be stolen.

[–]reptileDysfunction -1 points0 points ago

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cant be racist unless you're funny. If you're racist but funny then your material serves to heal and helps us come to terms with how we act with whatever it is you're talking about. If you're racist and not funny then you're just racist.

[–]Neburoc 5 points6 points ago

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Video for those interested in seeing Daniel Tosh's awesome delivery:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFT_gNTgm-k&t=1m29s

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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This man's popularity here is a major indicator that I don't belong.

[–]allisonivy 14 points15 points ago

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I came here for the comment about how unoriginal and old this joke is, but I somehow didn't find it. Which is weird, because I was completely expecting it.

[–]CorAutMors 2 points3 points ago

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like most standup, its all in the delivery

ya this single joke screencap is meh or mightve been used, but coupled with his other jokes and toshs delivery, its actually really excellent

[–]allisonivy -1 points0 points ago

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I saw the special, it was okay.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Nah, just post something on GW with that username and you'll be accepted in a heartbeat.

[–]PawsScags 2 points3 points ago

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Listen! listen! listen! listen! listen listen listen listen.....if I lost a leg would you still love me?

[–]mindslyde 2 points3 points ago

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What the hell does 'punished for all mankind' mean?

[–]jcmence1488 2 points3 points ago

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How do we know eve ate the apple. Women eat everything let's me honest. Tosh

[–]beetnemesis 2 points3 points ago

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FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: FUNNY!

[–]black19 16 points17 points ago

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Funny joke. But what the fuck is with people screen grabbing vids and overlaying the text on it?

[–]gojetafajita 55 points56 points ago

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i rather read two lines then watch 2 minutes for one joke

[–]bardfaust 30 points31 points ago

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Plus, no one clicks youtube links anyway.

[–]rderekp 6 points7 points ago

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YouTube kills my CPU.

[–]zpeed 1 point2 points ago

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Neburoc commented a link which takes you to not only the clip but fast forwards to the exact second Daniel Tosh delivers said line; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFT_gNTgm-k&t=1m29s most people don't bother, Neburoc is a GGG!

[–]Neburoc 2 points3 points ago

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Awwww.

[–]JoeyS7 4 points5 points ago

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I know a lot of people on Reddit hate Tosh for "stealing stuff from Reddit" (which frankly doesn't make much sense since all Reddit does is share links), but I do think his stand-up is funny. I don't like Tosh.0 because it's mostly stuff I've already seen, but he is a funny stand-up comedian.

[–]JayJayBn 5 points6 points ago

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This will probably end up on Tosh.0 now.

[–]YourMumAtYourHouse 4 points5 points ago

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Wow. So very original.

[–]spry 0 points1 point ago

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I know, right! It's like he's so fuckin'... edgy.

[–]veronica_palmer 3 points4 points ago

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I really like most of Tosh's standup stuff, but Tosh.0 is pretty terrible.

[–]andyfrank 1 point2 points ago

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i hate this trend of taking a funny joke with great timing and delivery and just plastering it on any frame from the video

[–]pr0g3rint 0 points1 point ago

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From the other side, I often like it because:

a) I can look at it in the library b) I'm rarely patient enough for video

[–]sittty 1 point2 points ago

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you cut it off at the best part when he does the impression of his nagging girlfriend.

[–]asaphelpschicago 1 point2 points ago

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Tosh = never funny

[–]ReneG8 3 points4 points ago

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Hmm I usually not white knighting or anything, but that joke tried to outwit homophobia by using machoisms. Somehow this doesn't strike me as funny. I might be alone with that statement though.

[–]peri_brown -1 points0 points ago

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AGREE. Gays are good, because women are bad.

[–]ReneG8 1 point2 points ago

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See, you laughed, didn't you? That was funny!

[–]peri_brown 2 points3 points ago

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Oh I had a good guffaw. Nothing is funnier to me than sexism. Ha!

[–]makesmewannadance 4 points5 points ago

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to be fair, this joke has been going around for awhile so he did not actually make that up FYI

[–]Jaboomaphoo 0 points1 point ago

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How long of a while because this material is pretty old. Also I never say that someone didn't make something up just because I've heard it somewhere else because I remember a video going around that showed Carlos Mencia, George Lopez and some other comedian making a joke about the Mexican border and it was a joke that I had thought up on my own and I could have easily seen the comedians thinking it up on their own except for Mencia of course.

[–]Inquizo 1 point2 points ago

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I see that Redditquette is being utilized very well in this thread. Let's all downvote everyone who isn't sucking Daniel Tosh's cock regardless of the civility of their statements.

[–]Citizen_Snip 1 point2 points ago

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It's like this everywhere not just this thread.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds like somebody didn't get enough of Tosh's cock!

[–]MIXEDGREENS 3 points4 points ago

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I prefer making Reddit into a game where I see how uncivil I can be and still get upvoted.

Redditors fucking up reddiket just makes it a more fun game. Those wily bastards have an appetite for insanity, and I intend to fulfill it, much the same way I filled your mother's anus with my demon seed.

[–]horses_in_the_sky 1 point2 points ago

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daniel tosh is about as funny as dane cook

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Tosh is the unfunny moron who wants everyone to watch a hilarious youtube video and we keep waiting for the hilarious part - and has a TV show to do it.

[–]jakeis38 0 points1 point ago

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What about lesbians

[–]redtigerwolf 0 points1 point ago

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What show is this from? Meaning, what is the dvd called of this particular comedy routine for Tosh.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 0 points1 point ago

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Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious

[–]CarpeKitty 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't see a screen cap of this comment from 4chan posted here

He works fast, this Tosh man.

[–]iKaka 0 points1 point ago

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He probably stole that from the internet

[–]pr0g3rint 0 points1 point ago

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I'm no expert on the story, but wasn't it Adam who ate the apple? Thus an Adam's apple? Seems odd that it would get stuck in Adam's throat if Eve ate it... Correct me if I'm wrong, though.

[–]anatomized 2 points3 points ago

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Tosh can get fucked.

[–]cgowens 0 points1 point ago

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Ha. Ha. Ha. Can hardly contain myself.

This makes Dane cook look competent.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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He plays it ambiguous on purpose, I think.

[–]reeru 1 point2 points ago

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i think he might be borderline.. or just possibly a man in a woman in a mans body

[–]ldawg092498 0 points1 point ago

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I was thinking about this skit this morning. Weird

[–]cdahlkvist 0 points1 point ago

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People on reddit bitch about reposts.

People on reddit wonder why so man people hate Tosh.

[–]nepidae -4 points-3 points ago

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God: A woman once had an apple I told her not to have. As punishment I make having a baby hurt like a bastard.

Psychopath: A cat once puked on my shoe. As punishment I break the front right paw of any cat I see. They can still walk, but it hurts them a lot.

[–]cincyfan04 -5 points-4 points ago

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Hold on, I'm going to screen grab some Larry the Cable Guy. BRB

[–]caboose1234 -1 points0 points ago

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ALL ABOARD THE DANIEL TOSH HATE TRAIN

TOOT TOOT

[–]imightbebaked 2 points3 points ago

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ALL ABOARD THE DANIEL TOSH HATE PUBLIC BUS

[–]somehowstillalive -1 points0 points ago

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My overdeveloped sense of Political Correctness tells me that this joke is not funny.

[–]hippiechan -3 points-2 points ago

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Tosh.0: TV Reposts

[–]OccasionalAsshole -3 points-2 points ago

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So there's this website called Youtube, maybe you've heard of it.

[–]Jaboomaphoo 1 point2 points ago

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This shouldn't be getting downvoted. I can't stand opening up pictures of videos.

[–]BajczTheDamned -3 points-2 points ago

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This is probably my favorite joke of his ever. Too bad you didn't get it quite verbatum here.

[–]Willem20 -1 points0 points ago

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I believe this is the best thing I've heard in a while

[–]FlatlanderMachine -3 points-2 points ago

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You hate on him and you love him. Make up your mind you atheist potheads

[–]ahaltingmachine -5 points-4 points ago

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"Menstral"

[–]doomsday_design -2 points-1 points ago

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This photo has been my wallpaper for months. I am very sad I missed out on the Karma.

[–]cannedmath -4 points-3 points ago

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As much as this fucker annoys me, I had to laugh!

[–]AsylumPlagueRat -4 points-3 points ago

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Wow, the son of a bitch actually said something that doesn't make me want to kill him just for the opportunity to piss on his grave.