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top 200 commentsshow all 325

[–]filmisbone 143 points144 points ago

Hey, I didn't know Scarlet was a lefty.

[–]rami1190 80 points81 points ago

I am left handed also, it must be destiny.

[–]blinkac 209 points210 points ago

Nah, Destiny strips at the Melon Patch.

[–]RizzoFromDigg 76 points77 points ago

They're people, Ted.

[–]Trolly_McTrollerson 141 points142 points ago

NO CYRIL WHEN THEY'RE DEAD THEY'RE JUST HOOKERS

[–]RizzoFromDigg 50 points51 points ago

I'll fetch a rug.

[–]Jesus_Chris 2 points3 points ago

Misread that as 'feltch' initially... Everything went better than expected

[–]Lowe5521 9 points10 points ago

I love reddit. That, and I may watch too much TV.

[–]RizzoFromDigg 8 points9 points ago

Make no mistake, it's both.

[–]fritzmonkey 0 points1 point ago

No, let's just put them in Trudy Beekman's apartment.

[–]rhythm_n_jumps 0 points1 point ago

This just made my day.

[–]NachosForTwo 0 points1 point ago

No, do not say the chekhov gun, Cyril. That, sir, is a facile argument.

[–]MedSchoolOrBust 12 points13 points ago

I know, it's destiny! Why can't you ever root for love, Ted.

[–]seattleque 2 points3 points ago

Glad I watched that episode last night - I hate missing a reference.

[–]bigted41 10 points11 points ago

[–]Rerellison 6 points7 points ago

My first thought too.

[–]Haddadios 1 point2 points ago

ARE YOU SAYING THERE'S A CHANCE??

[–]cresteh 155 points156 points ago

"Left handed"

"Would not bone"

[–]beer_madness 63 points64 points ago

4/10

[–]spurious_access 0 points1 point ago

B----

[–]Qaltilon 1 point2 points ago

I'm left handed and this makes me sad =(

[–]jormugandr 9 points10 points ago

Sounds sinister.

[–]yellekc 3 points4 points ago

I see what you did there.

[–]CorkyKribler 20 points21 points ago

I thought it was Charlize Theron. But what do I know, I drive a Honda!

[–]STFUCorkyKribler 62 points63 points ago

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[–]FleXide 14 points15 points ago

How the fuck have you gotten 1k comment karma doing this?

[–]CorkyKribler 13 points14 points ago

Finally

[–]STFUCorkyKribler 63 points64 points ago

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[–]BILLY_RAY_CYRAX 9 points10 points ago

most dedicated novelty account ever

[–]Strifeee 10 points11 points ago

Or same guy....most likely same guy.

[–]CITIZENCELL 2 points3 points ago

I had i guy called CITIZENCELL_RULES do a similar thing to me. He gave up pretty fast.

[–]ConservativePlatypus 5 points6 points ago

haha wow you actually have an account following you around telling you to STFU. unless... it is all a conspiracy...

[–]Chm_Albert_Wesker 3 points4 points ago

nope, nope, nope! conspiracies don't exist! no conspiracies here...

[–]bigted41 3 points4 points ago

here, now she's a righty

[–]jries 18 points19 points ago

TIL Hot chicks could be left handed

[–]TripperDay 1 point2 points ago

How else are they supposed to give you handjobs while you're driving?

[–]The_SNL_Encyclopedia 0 points1 point ago

I was confused until I remembered America is not the whole world.

[–]jries 0 points1 point ago

With their mouthes

[–]mjolnir616 1 point2 points ago

[–]LiVam 4 points5 points ago

10 pages?!

[–]mjolnir616 2 points3 points ago

Yes I know, one of my own pet peeves of the internet. What can you do though, eh?

[–]ArmoredFan 2 points3 points ago

Gah what is that sidebar doing over there!

[–]WaffleSports 0 points1 point ago

I thought there was like a patch or gum you could chew to fix that?

[–]I_Compliment_Tits 0 points1 point ago

I'm amazed I never knew of Scarlet, seeing as she has such nice tits.

[–]petrichor8 0 points1 point ago

just realized her hand is in the picture ಠ_ಠ

[–]Organs 45 points46 points ago

So, apparently Scarlett Johanssen doesn't like Catherine Tate?

[–]done8989[S] 134 points135 points ago

apparently is photoshop and trolling http://i.imgur.com/L10kk.jpg

[–]typtyphus 54 points55 points ago

pretty good photoshop nonetheless.

[–]9Freeski 68 points69 points ago

If you count the jizz pixels, you can tell it's a fake.

[–]ZeroNihilist 22 points23 points ago

Well that was my first instinct.

[–]HayzuesKreestow 16 points17 points ago

I stopped counting jizz pixels in 07. It's just such a grind.

[–]Scamdal 1 point2 points ago

I jacked it in too

[–]jeltimab 19 points20 points ago*

[–]DistantFootsteps 6 points7 points ago

Why is she holding a golden banana?

[–]habitualLineStepper 6 points7 points ago

Really ??? I could bet it was real. I mean, you found it on the Internet.

[–]egg-bland-annabelle 2 points3 points ago

There's no way that's Catherine Tate.

[–]bogweasel87 52 points53 points ago

real FAKE

[–]toxicFork 98 points99 points ago

DECIDE ALREADY

[–]JabbaTheHot 294 points295 points ago

I don't get it how Reddit works. When i posted this one, everyone downvoted it, and said "it's gross, go back to 4chan". Wtf?

[–][deleted] 410 points411 points ago

Dude... that is sick. Go back to 4Chan, freak!

[–]vinaydesai91 27 points28 points ago

There's no place for your kind here! Scram!

[–]MerlinsBeard 37 points38 points ago

Fan: "Emma! Emma! Big fan. Can you sign this?"

Emma: "Oh. Right. That."

[–]raviolibassist 53 points54 points ago

reddit can't figure out what it actually likes and dislikes but you can bet they're gonna yell at everybody until they can.

[–]megablast 26 points27 points ago

Almost as if reddit is not one person making decisions, but a whole bunch of people. Crazy!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]I_am_salad 2 points3 points ago

Time zones, my friend.

[–]thesepigswillplay 17 points18 points ago

Because people of Reddit have this obsession with Emma Watson, and not with Scarlett.

They get defensive.

[–]poorpinto 4 points5 points ago

just wait till chloe moretz is legal

[–]alanpugh 3 points4 points ago

[–]alahos 18 points19 points ago

Don't touch my precious Emma!

[–]Colostomy 2 points3 points ago

That's probably because it's [more] fake and old. I've never seen the ScarJo picture, and if I haven't seen it, then no-one has.

[–]inn0vat3 2 points3 points ago

You see, JabbaTheHot... your pic has no breasts. We all learned that lesson years ago.

[–]Slurms 2 points3 points ago

also....might wanna toss a NSFW on that.

[–]I_am_salad 3 points4 points ago

[–]maximka7 0 points1 point ago

That's not salad...

[–]lysogenic 8 points9 points ago

Is that real? O_O So awkward.

[–]yethegodless 10 points11 points ago

I'm pretty sure it's real. I think the deal was that she was wearing panties, but the flash from the photographer's bulb pierced them and it looks like she's just cooching around.

[–]Retanaru 9 points10 points ago

Nah, you can actually see her panties, they are just the kind that is mostly see through up till the vagina. Thus you can see her bush.

That one is fake, so is the fadge, gb2 4chon

GophaKyorselv to the rescue.

[–]Colostomy 5 points6 points ago

The upskirt picture is real, but the underwear has been shopped out. But it's photoshopped into the original picture. The guy's asking her to sign a Hermione picture in the original.

[–]mefoxitin 1 point2 points ago

Are you talking about the picture or the picture in the picture?

[–]lysogenic 0 points1 point ago

The picture.

[–]HayzuesKreestow 11 points12 points ago*

It's actually quite simple...

Tits oR GTFO

[–]Dreamwaltzer 7 points8 points ago

Tits of GTFO

I think you accidentally a letter

[–]MattyHchrist 80 points81 points ago*

I love that Emma Watson has some vag fluff. Not enough ladies these days maintain a bit of ruffage down below. I like my women to look like women, not have the pubic mound of a child.

Edit: I'm sinking with this ship. I just had to announce my love of pubic hair okay. It's not something I could keep inside.

Edit2: I am now upvoted into the high heavens. I am like a fucking phoenix rising out of the ashes!

[–]fuckingcreep 58 points59 points ago

You should write her that. People love when they get complimented!

[–]done8989[S] 3 points4 points ago

I take advantage that this comment is up high and i will post the source again (this time not from deadfix facebook page but from their website)

[–]akpenguin 22 points23 points ago

RES Tag: likes hairy chicks, not a pedo

[–]Flashman_H 16 points17 points ago

Agreed. I don't want a ten year old girl. 100 million years of evolution have formed in me a desire for a sexually mature woman with huge milk bags to feed my progeny.

[–]poorpinto 6 points7 points ago

ruffage = fiber (the stuff that makes you poop)

[–]shug7272 7 points8 points ago

I like to lick pussy and hate hair in my mouth so I disagree.

[–]MattyHchrist 4 points5 points ago

As long as they shave around the entrance I don't see a problem? Unless you like licking the mound?

[–]shug7272 13 points14 points ago

I likey nom nom all over.

[–]MattyHchrist 15 points16 points ago

Well I can't argue with that. May your munching adventures be wild and plentiful.

[–]Waffles81 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, but the thing about that up-skirt pic, is its also shooped. In the original she's wearing see-trough panties and you can see she doesnt shave.

[–]MattyHchrist 3 points4 points ago

DM;SP

[–]Waffles81 7 points8 points ago

"Doesnt Matter; Sex Penis"?

[–]MattyHchrist 5 points6 points ago

I was going for 'saw pubes' but I like yours more.

[–]bricardo 0 points1 point ago

DM;Saw panties

[–]TripperDay 2 points3 points ago

[–]kurtozan251 3 points4 points ago

ABANDON SHIP!

[–]MattyHchrist 19 points20 points ago

A CAPTAIN ALWAYS GOES DOWN WITH THE SHIP! IT'S BEEN AN HONOUR GENTLEMEN.

[–]modern_drift 35 points36 points ago

unless he's italian.

[–]1longtime 1 point2 points ago

Never fear, I'll float your boat.

Wait...

[–]semi- 0 points1 point ago

I like my women to look like women

ironic considering that picture is from the DAY she turned 18. So you know, a day earlier and you're a pedo.

[–]MattyHchrist 1 point2 points ago

Not in the UK baby. 16+!

[–]PrettyWhore 1 point2 points ago

I like her coat.

[–]wuskin 0 points1 point ago

Thought you said throat. Close enough.

[–]blaze_all_day 2 points3 points ago

It's probably because it has been posted plenty of times before.

[–]GophaKyorselv 0 points1 point ago

[–]Colostomy 1 point2 points ago

'Fadge'. I've not heard that in nearly 10 years.

[–]THE_CENTURION 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me, or in that photo, was the picture of her Photoshopped to remove the panties?

[–]Kottfoers 0 points1 point ago

It's a shop. I've seen the correct image, but I'm too lazy to find it.

[–]qwop88 0 points1 point ago

It's mostly luck; there are a million people on this site, you can't expect the same exact standards for every entry.

[–]JFSOCC 0 points1 point ago

I don't know when you posted it but I think I may have upvoted that one. unless it's a repost, I frikkin hate reposts.

[–]Rixxer 0 points1 point ago

I like how she just looks dissapointed. Not disgusted, not surprised, not outraged, but dissapointed. Very civilized.

[–]nostalgicBadger 0 points1 point ago

I've often wondered whether she was aware of that photo. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[–]Nyarlathotep124 0 points1 point ago

Welcome to the hivemind.

[–]Confucius_says 0 points1 point ago

you need to seed the upvotes. It's the first 2-5 responders that tell eveyrone else what their opinion is on any given matter.

[–]Azorka 0 points1 point ago

I like that he took the time to edit out the panties.

[–]spongemonster 5 points6 points ago

Sir, the pixels indicate you have a low sperm count.

[–]WeAllLoveRed 0 points1 point ago

I guess I should get mine checked out then :(

[–]muddd3d 4 points5 points ago

Scarlet "Who should I make it out to?"

Dude "My unborn children..."

[–]uaintgotnopancakemix 165 points166 points ago

No, this is a real fan

[–]lexfa 154 points155 points ago

[–]BDaught 77 points78 points ago

[–]pancakeChef 75 points76 points ago

How is that fan talking? It's not even plugged in.

[–]LurkerTroll 9 points10 points ago

HE'S A PHONY! A BIG FAT PHONY!

[–]ArmoredFan 1 point2 points ago

You rung?

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 14 points15 points ago

That better be legit.

[–]lexfa 12 points13 points ago

It is. I saw the post on his own Twitter. I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: Ah yes, here it is.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 17 points18 points ago

Twitter friend to over 371,000 of the sexiest mofos on Earth. Right now I live in London. As a teen I sometimes dry-humped pillows.

Best celebrity bio I've ever read.

[–]Kherx 1 point2 points ago

DAT USERNAME. Thanks for the laugh.

[–]sequentialsilence 0 points1 point ago

why have you become one of my favorite redditors?

[–]jdenk 11 points12 points ago

No, that is a picture of a real fan

[–]epicurusaurelius 9 points10 points ago

[–]Valco 1 point2 points ago

Ceci n'est pas une fan.

[–]madchr1st 2 points3 points ago

This as well.

[–]neelshiv 0 points1 point ago

I think it would be great if the letters in the middle of that fan, presumably the manufacturers name, just said "FAN"

[–]Lawlcat 0 points1 point ago

Well, I don't really know what I was expecting.

[–]chrunchy 9 points10 points ago

Please tell me people don't do this.

[–]Wavestrike 1 point2 points ago

People don't do this.

(Yeah, you are welcome.)

[–]chrunchy 0 points1 point ago

Whew! Thanks... I think....

[–]CornerCase 12 points13 points ago

NSFW

[–]jayplus 32 points33 points ago

Ill hand it to him, that guy has balls. Apparently both literally and figuratively...

[–]phonecat 74 points75 points ago

And she has boobs. Tits and breasts...

[–]mcartz33 17 points18 points ago

big ones

[–]llnnin 6 points7 points ago

Apparently there are Japanese fans that go blow a load on their hand in the restroom before going to a "handshake meeting" with a Japanese idol group AKB48, they did not wash their hands.

[–]zombiebunnie 0 points1 point ago

Ever heard of "sea gullin?"

You really don't want to.

[–]llnnin 1 point2 points ago

TIL

[–]virtyy 10 points11 points ago

Its fake btw

[–]jries 3 points4 points ago

"Hand it to him"....

[–]littlegreenrock 2 points3 points ago

Is that warm yoghurt?

[–]puppetry514 1 point2 points ago

Restraining order in 3... 2... 1... now

[–]jakimdadream 1 point2 points ago

this has just made my day even better

[–]stlouisbrowns 1 point2 points ago*

btw? fake

[–]uranus86 25 points26 points ago

Could be considered NSFW

[–]habitualLineStepper 91 points92 points ago

Or you could be considered a whining little bitch

[–]engwar 28 points29 points ago

Where do you work? Photos of hot women with their cleavage hanging out is definitely NS at my W.

I'm guessing you don't have a real job and don't understand what NSFW really means. It doesn't mean "this offends me." It means "this could get your ass fired for looking at at work."

[–]FuckYoureShit 5 points6 points ago

going by your definition, then anything not related to your work should be considered "NSFW"

NSFW basically means that it's rated R

[–]engwar 6 points7 points ago

Not at all. I can look at non-work-related stuff. My boss doesn't care. The IT department doesn't care.

But if I have an image up on my computer showing a woman with her boobs hanging out... or a vomiting drunk... or someone who was just shot in the face... these images would be offensive to a random person walking by my cube. Images like this should be flagged as NSFW as a courtesy for people who work in professional environments.

[–]THEsolid85 19 points20 points ago*

I'm guessing you don't have a real job

real job? the fuck does that even mean? i've never understood the NSFW mentality. it's okay for you to be on reddit all day so long as you don't see any boobs? like, the IT dept checks your internet history and 157 pictures of cats and memes is fine but 1 picture of Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet and you're fired? that doesn't even make sense. i feel like it has more to do with who's around you, who might see your screen. but either way, if that's what qualifies a "real job" then I'm glad I have a fake one.

[–]linds360 4 points5 points ago

Can I ask a question about your opinion without this turning into a war?

I see your opinion posted often when someone mentions that something could be considered NSFW and typically an argument ensues. My question is why does it bother you so much? How does someone putting a NSFW tag affect you and how does someone suggesting that it should be there make your experience worse?

This is a serious question because I'm actually just curious.

[–]ariheretic 6 points7 points ago

The audacity of making a judgement call about someone's job being "real" or not when you clearly work in a position that affords you time and access to fuck around on Reddit is kind of priceless.

[–]engwar 9 points10 points ago

It's actually pretty simple.

It's OK to take a break from work and surf non work-related sites. Everyone does it and nobody cares.

It's not OK to have images on your screen that could offend someone who just happens to walk by.

The NSFW tag is something that most people use to flag the latter.

The IT department isn't going to check my history unless I give them a reason to do so. The secretary walking by and seeing Scarlett Johansson's boobs on my screen would be a reason.

Most people use the NSFW tag because they understand the difference.

[–]ShinshinRenma 2 points3 points ago

Not everybody works corporate, but they still have to be present on the job. Ergo, the situation engwar stated.

[–]binary_zombie 4 points5 points ago

That's exactly it actually. We don't make the rules, we just have to follow them. Also, I'd much rather my coworker look over and see me looking at cats than look over and see me looking at major cleavage with jizz in the picture.

[–]ProfProphet713 3 points4 points ago

mmmm....i dunno...

[–]micahjbell 0 points1 point ago

NSFW can also mean "don't open with a child in the room"

[–]BenTG 1 point2 points ago

That's a pic of a movie star at an awards show. You can't view a pic of a movie star at an awards show at your real job?

[–]Ikarus3426 -1 points0 points ago

The entire reddit website is NSFW because if I'm your boss and I catch you dicking around on the internet, you're in trouble. Now stop complaining and get back to work.

[–]engwar 5 points6 points ago

As I've said to others, NSFW doesn't mean "not related to your work." It means "If someone walked by and saw this on your monitor it could be trouble."

My boss takes breaks and surfs the web. Everybody does. The NSFW tag is a courtesy to let people know that the content behind a link is best not viewed on a work computer because someone could simply glance at it and be offended.

[–]apextek 0 points1 point ago

OR YOU COULD BE CONSIDERED A MCDONALDS EMPLOYEE THUS NOT CARING ABOUT BEING FIRED FORM YOUR JOB FOR VIEWING OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. Just realized caps was on. fuck it

[–]uranus86 0 points1 point ago

Not whining, just pointing out that this pic might raise more than one eyebrow if someone caught you looking at this while on the job. Not all of us work at places where this kind of stuff is acceptable to view.

[–]flamingboard 4 points5 points ago

Dat clevage

[–]pibroch 7 points8 points ago

What's a "clevage"?

[–]Tirso 1 point2 points ago

It's french for boobs.

[–]professorhazard 2 points3 points ago

cleh-vahzsh

[–]trippingwalrus 1 point2 points ago

This is both pathetic and gross.

[–]infinitude 7 points8 points ago

It's fakity fake.

[–]binary_zombie 8 points9 points ago

Good thing it's fake.

[–]GraytoGreen 0 points1 point ago

NSFW

[–]iLuVtiffany 0 points1 point ago

I don't care if I get in trouble with my girlfriend by saying this. I want to play with them titties.

[–]gtipwnz 3 points4 points ago

Now this is a novelty account I could really get behind.

[–]CRandalPoopenmeier -3 points-2 points ago

this is somehow the worst thing I have ever seen.

[–]holger-danske 26 points27 points ago

let me be the first to welcome you to the internet.

[–]ztheday 2 points3 points ago

This is the day CRandalPoopenmeier takes a stand!

[–]CRandalPoopenmeier 2 points3 points ago

and I shall

[–]fatkidswinatseesaw 4 points5 points ago

You don't get out much, do ya?

[–]AGENTshields 0 points1 point ago

No. He's a real human being...

[–]silent_p 0 points1 point ago

Getting Scarlett Johansson to sign a picture of Taylor Swift?

[–]iamfondofthedrink 0 points1 point ago

Dash Snow?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

She was probably like 'wtf is this shit'

[–]dankiel 0 points1 point ago

HAHAHA this is hilarious

[–]veraliis 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]SmashOrNotSmash 0 points1 point ago

Would Smash.

[–]theblastoff 0 points1 point ago

But…that's just hair gel. Right guys? Right?

…Guys?

[–]Hankering 0 points1 point ago

I saw this 12 hours ago and I finally got it. Fuck I am an idiot.

[–]Invincible_Boris 0 points1 point ago

I hope she signed through the jizz.

[–]Seanjohn2800 0 points1 point ago

If I were there, I'd use my natural ability to slow down time, and at the opportune moment, I'd reach in and yank her dress down, causing this to be a topless picture. Hopefully there wouldn't be a bra under there, but then I'd run.