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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]jessicaexperience 1527 points1528 points ago

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I am....strangely disappointed.

[–]aaron_bit_7 597 points598 points ago

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I didn't read the title I just click links... and I'm as well disappointed..

[–]amplifiedlogic 315 points316 points ago

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I laughed, then was disappointed. Oh the roller coaster of emotional shame. Sigh.

[–][deleted] 276 points277 points ago

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TIL whale poop is a most effective internet bait.

[–]nanowerx 169 points170 points ago

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Just whales in general, really. Young ones.

/r/whalebait

[–]bore_more 56 points57 points ago

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not sure what i was expecting, but am now strangely aroused...

[–]InternetNinjacy 96 points97 points ago

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Why is this a thing?!

[–]InhumanWhaleShark 128 points129 points ago

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Where else am I going to find hot young whales?

[–]saybruh 54 points55 points ago

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I like squids gone wild. Hot cephalopods. Exposing themselves.

[–]MisterMeatball 89 points90 points ago

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I inked.

[–]jlking3 23 points24 points ago

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A response to this would be squid pro quo.

[–]jgfoto 4 points5 points ago

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Walmart?

[–]Speculater 10 points11 points ago

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Whalemart

FTFY

[–]synaesthesiaa 2 points3 points ago

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Narwhalmart!

[–]Metalheadzaid 15 points16 points ago

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Real question is: why wouldn't it be?

[–]Lord_Subway 23 points24 points ago

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should i be sad this link is already purple for me?

[–]n0oneleftbehind 7 points8 points ago

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I feel your pain ... Although I don't remember ever going there ...

[–]s1syphus_sleeps 7 points8 points ago

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Was expecting to be let down again with this link then I was strangely delighted to find it actually a valid subreddit.

[–]Captainpatch 31 points32 points ago

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This for me too, I click every imgur that isn't marked NSFW and most of the NSFW ones too.

A blue imgur link is something to be ashamed of.

[–]mayonaise 16 points17 points ago

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He had me at imgur...

[–]JJaX2 55 points56 points ago

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[–]nomaddamon 16 points17 points ago

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Best I can do on short notice. Bear with me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD_VXBuQ_5I

[–]sickaments 4 points5 points ago

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I love how he turns around to admire his work.

[–]JakeLV426 2 points3 points ago

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I don't come to Reddit to be judged by a fucking dog.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points ago

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Why the fuck WOULDN'T I click on that??

[–]Crim91 762 points763 points ago*

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Since I have been on Reddit, I have seen videos of a man being beheaded with a small knife, a woman and a man being stoned to death, a kid (still alive) with his bottom jaw blown off, r/spacedicks, and a man being hung upside down by his testicles...just to name a few. Nothing disgusts me anymore. Now show me the god damn whale shitting on a man whilst he vomits into his face mask.

Edit: Please.

[–]Kvraj 364 points365 points ago

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[–]nimofitze 165 points166 points ago

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Reddit finds your offering...acceptable.

[–]thebeefytaco 79 points80 points ago

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Needs more whale shit.

[–]DEWSHO 4 points5 points ago

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That's why I clicked the link! How much can a blue whale shit? We know an elephant can shit enough to kill a human, so I want to see a blue whale shit on someone!

[–]mooooz 35 points36 points ago

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superb

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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dazzling

[–]Crim91 31 points32 points ago

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Fucking gravity man. Always working against you.

[–]internetisforjerks 12 points13 points ago

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God, how she pedals in the air. I'm dying.

[–]mrchunks 23 points24 points ago

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Yeah, that'll do.

[–]AHipsterFetus 16 points17 points ago

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That'll do pig, that'll do.

[–]LessLikeYou 52 points53 points ago

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and a man being hung upside down by his testicles

They can support that kind of weight?

[–]kevmo 123 points124 points ago*

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yes

EDIT: NSFW

[–]ZaeronS 254 points255 points ago

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Jesus Christ, why am I clicking on links in this thread?

[–]Elidor 27 points28 points ago

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I thought you were kidding. You bastard.

[–]Cheeseball701 6 points7 points ago

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I don't know what you were expecting.

[–]Elidor 9 points10 points ago

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I was expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

[–]ifuckzombies 8 points9 points ago

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NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[–]AssViolator 55 points56 points ago

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Where is his penis?

[–]Tbone139 56 points57 points ago

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"I'll never look at that again, ever!"

sees comment

"... shit."

[–]sathka 2 points3 points ago

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The penis is pointing upward, wrapped in the scrotum skin. You can sort of see the head right where the discoloration starts.

[–]aVictorianGentleman 32 points33 points ago

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Oh God Oh God... what has been seen...

[–]organicfunk 48 points49 points ago

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[–]LessLikeYou 56 points57 points ago

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That's pretty ballsy.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I'm getting testy with all these puns.

[–]Crim91 37 points38 points ago

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For anyone who cares, it is NSFW.

[–]hchan1 50 points51 points ago

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Oh thank god, I thought it was the kind of hanging-by-testicles that was safe for work. Bullet dodged.

[–]science87 62 points63 points ago

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NSFL*

[–]kevmo 12 points13 points ago

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Oh yeah, my bad.

[–]Sudz705 138 points139 points ago

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[–]KifoFox 53 points54 points ago

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Girl look at that body.

[–]XKCD_is_relevant 57 points58 points ago

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Ahh...

If you're annoying enough, you can get them to respond with an involuntary second sigh and get a rhythm going.

http://xkcd.com/1009/

[–]makesterriblejokes 13 points14 points ago

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I hope you continue this novelty account going strong.

[–]mooooz 25 points26 points ago

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hahaha those fuckers are ready to pop!!

[–]Great_Zarquon 31 points32 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Dazbme 8 points9 points ago

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GOD DAMN IT HOVERZOOM, WHY?

[–]poopoobutt 8 points9 points ago

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Just think of the close quality shave he could get with them stretched like that.

[–]hehaw 15 points16 points ago

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WHERE IS HIS PENIS?

[–]ghostly5150 28 points29 points ago

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Oh god! Eye bleach for anyone interested!

[–]BurntFlower 21 points22 points ago

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[–]Sindragon 3 points4 points ago

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I prefer the kid version more.

Considering eyebleach is pictures of revealingly dressed women, you might want to rephrase that.

[–]Dentarthurdent42 2 points3 points ago

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It's blocked for me... but considering the regular eye bleach, I'm not sure I want to see what child eye-bleach is.

[–]BurntFlower 4 points5 points ago

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Don't worry, it's perfectly safe. It's lots of cute pictures of kitties and bunnies.

[–]MrRonGalvan 3 points4 points ago

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That fan's so shitty, doesnt even have speed changes...

[–]D14BL0 3 points4 points ago

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Where's his dick?

[–]mypantsareonmyhead 2 points3 points ago

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Jesusfuckinchrist. Somebody shoot me before I click another nondescript link.

[–]Din0saurDrugs 6 points7 points ago

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NSFW, but I guess that was obvious.

[–]PocketTheFerret 9 points10 points ago

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Ah the old Tijuana Tooth Pull. Good times.

[–][deleted] 121 points122 points ago

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I haven't seen any of those things, and I don't want to.

But still, show me the whale.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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Show Me The Whale

starring George Clooney and Meryl Streep

[rated R]

[–]reacher 7 points8 points ago

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Rob Schneider is...

The Whale

Rated PG-13

[–]webdevnoobie 16 points17 points ago

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Did you catch the one the other day where the kids got crushed by the merry-go-round? That was a peach, posted to an innocent gif on imgur.

[–]the_mastubatorium 22 points23 points ago

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[–]xtremelampshade 7 points8 points ago

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you have a link?

[–]Crim91 20 points21 points ago

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I did actually, nobody died though so it made it less horrifying.

[–]zipiewax 5 points6 points ago

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reminder to come back tomorrow and check once to see the link you have kindly provided!

[–]DrDWayneLove 2 points3 points ago

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I was only ok with that because according to the news story no one was seriously hurt.

[–]comatose_frog 4 points5 points ago

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Somebody send this man the link with the collage of vile shit from the internet all on one page

[–]sunshine_eyes 157 points158 points ago

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I click everything. It isnt a choice anymore.

[–]Flonkkertiin 37 points38 points ago

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i just saw blue and clicked. My mind is able to register the subreddit it is in but that is about it.

[–]Raynesta 270 points271 points ago

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Because it is an imgur link, Do you not know how this place works?

[–]2bithacker 22 points23 points ago

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He knows exactly how this place works... which is why he will be getting all the karmas today.

[–]FellerFeller 20 points21 points ago

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Top post in r/funny, no NSFW tag, imgur link. I feel safe clicking that no matter what the title says.

[–]R2LUKE2 46 points47 points ago

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this is bull shit, someone get me this picture.

dont you dare make this a trend Reddit. so help me god.

[–]Brosephski 6 points7 points ago

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I was about to post "Guys, seriously, let's not make this a thing," but then I noticed that there was 700 comments. Now I'm "hijacking" your post to reiterate:

Guys, seriously. Let's not make this a thing.

[–]Immynimmy 239 points240 points ago

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Okay, I was promised a whale who defecates on a diver subsequently followed by said diver proceeding to puke in his mask. Somebody deliver or I'm going to stick a fork in someone's eye.

[–]Thor4269 76 points77 points ago

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do that and post it instead!

[–]1speedbike 14 points15 points ago

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I really just honestly wanted to see what whale poop actually looks like (size-wise). I am very disappointed and if you ever happen to find such a glorious picture, then please update us all!

[–]I_Robbed_Bob 26 points27 points ago

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Surely op will deliver!

[–]SSlartibartfast 9 points10 points ago

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Waiting for OP..

[–]mdubs777 13 points14 points ago

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WHERE IS THE SKELETON?

[–]Ocramzeej66 12 points13 points ago

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[–]Aptorian 26 points27 points ago

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WHERE IS MY WHALE POOP???

[–]zinadello13 49 points50 points ago

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Because I thought it said driver and that's a scenario that needs some seein'.

[–]nothing_clever 20 points21 points ago

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To be honest, I was incredibly curious about the logistics of the picture even with a diver. It brought up many questions

  1. are whale shits solid? If yes, how can a diver be "crapped on" by a whale? If no, shouldn't the picture just be of a whale and a brown cloud, no sign of the diver?

  2. I presume somebody else would take the picture. Who, exactly, in the situation where their diving buddy is getting crapped on by a whale, would stop and think to themselves "You know, this is the perfect moment to take a picture."

  3. What does it look like for a diver to puke in his mask? This I would list with "The most terrifying things I've thought of today." and I would come to the comments to see if anybody has suggestions on what to do when you throw up, underwater, in your mask.

[–]yomimashita 9 points10 points ago*

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The mask just covers your eyes and nose, and the regulator goes in your mouth. Is it even possible to puke through your nose? Puking through a reg is no big deal though (been there, done that), just don't take it out of your mouth!.

http://scuba.about.com/od/divemedicinesafety/p/Can-You-Vomit-Underwater-While-Scuba-Diving.htm

[–]colemonster 4 points5 points ago

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one time i started laughing so hard that i started to cough. i was coughing so hard that i started to throw up but i was still laughing so it came out of my nose. i was at a mexican restaurant. my friend was pouring salsa on the free dough they give you. it was a long car ride home blowing my nose into old newspaper before i got rid of the smell

[–]wrath917 17 points18 points ago

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I regret nothing.

[–]sanders81 17 points18 points ago

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Because divers don't wear masks that cover their mouth. So I was wondering WTF you were talking about.

[–]Patius 4 points5 points ago

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Obviously OP and a lot of redditors aren't divers and didn't think about that.

[–]RTchoke 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, I was also curious. Even full face masks have regulators, you can vomit right out of them.

[–]bobasp1 41 points42 points ago

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Why wouldn't we click on it ಠ_ಠ

[–]joshrh88 9 points10 points ago

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Cause I saw a dog in the thumbnail.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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I knew it wasn't real. Whales are very trustworthy.

[–]beliefsarerelative 17 points18 points ago

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Masturbatory purposes.

[–]zacharybab 20 points21 points ago

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why wouldn't you click on that?

[–]filya 13 points14 points ago

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RES :(

[–]Daax865 6 points7 points ago

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Well done. Haha! Even though I would still like to see a whale crap on a dude and the dude vomit.

[–]mcityftw 4 points5 points ago

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REDDIT PROMISED ME IT WOULD BE FUNNY

[–]ninjacabbage 3 points4 points ago

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whale played.

[–]BuggleGum 4 points5 points ago

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Don't you judge me!

[–]alahos 4 points5 points ago

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I did not. HoverZoom bitch!

[–]WhatWouldSantorumDo 16 points17 points ago

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I giggled like a little girl. Well done sir.

[–]thespriter 7 points8 points ago

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why not?

[–]YooWeirdo 2 points3 points ago

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Two words: Curious entertainment.

[–]plixxx 3 points4 points ago

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Because it was blue and an imgur link.. Now it's purple and Im dissapoint.

[–]Clayburn 5 points6 points ago

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"Dead Dove - Do Not Eat"

[–]iLuVtiffany 3 points4 points ago

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But. The link. It was blue.

[–]velvet_cucumber 3 points4 points ago

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i saw whale poop and then clicked

[–]semperpee 3 points4 points ago

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I don't see text anymore. I've been on reddit so long that I only see a blur of purple and blue.

[–]kasim42784 2 points3 points ago

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BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE A FUCKING WHALE CRAPPING ON A PUKING DIVER!

[–]cleandgc 2 points3 points ago

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Don't judge me!

[–]Tobz511 2 points3 points ago

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It was blue...

[–]Lurkin_Like_A_Pro 2 points3 points ago

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Well I clicked for the promise of a whale pooping on a diver, who then puked in his mouth. I do not see it anywhere in your post. Is this your first day?

[–]Jack_Donaghy45 2 points3 points ago

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I really wanna know what whale poop actually looks like =3

[–]Fadzzz 2 points3 points ago

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Even ran a quick search on youtube just to be sure that there is not a video with the previously mentioned content out there. Genuinely disappointed.

[–]Flapjack_ 2 points3 points ago

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Why would I click it? Because that's an extremely agile feat for a whale to not only crap on a guy but then spin around to puke on him.

Damn that woulda been impressive.

[–]BoboTheRed 2 points3 points ago

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I just wanted to know how he would puke in a mask that doesn't cover his mouth

[–]snoopyh42 2 points3 points ago

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Because I am so desensitized by the Internet, I wanted to see if something could make me feel again.

[–]VLDT 2 points3 points ago

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Because I've never seen it...and now for some reason I want to.

Fuck you, master troll.

[–]bigpuffyclouds 2 points3 points ago

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I feel cheated.

[–]TheSeparateFirst 2 points3 points ago

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Hover Zoom takes all the fun out of posts like this. I was scrolling by, and my cursor paused over the link for a split second. Saw dog, got curious, was disappointed.

[–]Diego_Poop 2 points3 points ago

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I, for one, was hoping to see everything that was advertised.

[–]cablemigrant 2 points3 points ago

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I was wondering what the composition of the photo was going to be like.

[–]Ragamuffinking 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]plantsaretheorigin 5 points6 points ago

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I was ready to see him hit the purge button so a bunch of puke bubbles go shooting out the valve.

[–]Spade6179 5 points6 points ago

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Why is this on the frontpage? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Running4coffee 1 point2 points ago

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cuz the link was blue

[–]SuddenXxdeathxx 1 point2 points ago

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Because i get off to that crap. O.K. dog!?

[–]Adremmalech 1 point2 points ago

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Oh no. This is going to be a thing, isn't it?

[–]Bencool 1 point2 points ago

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dick...

[–]LegendaryWarriorPoet 1 point2 points ago

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Can a brotha get a rule 34?

[–]wakewolfie 1 point2 points ago

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All I read was (i.imgur.com). That's what results in a click.

[–]SquarebobSpongepants 1 point2 points ago

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I wanted to see what whale poop looked like.

[–]elanasaurus 1 point2 points ago

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I want to give you a bag of money

[–]BigNikiStyle 1 point2 points ago

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This fast one you pulled made me chuckle quite heartily. Well done.

[–]andy333co 1 point2 points ago

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not only did i click that, i checked comments just in the off chance someone posted it.

[–]fictionalsleep 1 point2 points ago

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I clicked on that because it sounds hilarious. So ante up.

[–]loercase 1 point2 points ago

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Blue link. Clicked on it without even reading the title.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks you got me good. Sadface.

[–]ViaRoarUgh 1 point2 points ago

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[–]TheRealFlop 1 point2 points ago

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Made my day, to be honest

[–]JiggleBiscuits 1 point2 points ago

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As a scuba diver, I was looking forward to this.

[–]GHNASHER 1 point2 points ago

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because its on the top of r/funny

[–]jangum 1 point2 points ago

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to be honest, i didn't even read the title am i a redditor yet?

[–]Dormoxx 1 point2 points ago

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Well played.

[–]laela_says 1 point2 points ago

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Reddit has shown me, I am deeply disturbed, and I like it

[–]dgofish 1 point2 points ago

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Excellent troll.

[–]Swobes 1 point2 points ago

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because why the fuck not

[–]blueshiftlabs 1 point2 points ago

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Because I was wondering how the hell you could puke out of your eyes, which would be the only way to puke into a standard diver's mask. (Full-face masks are, obviously, a different story.)

[–]noneya55 1 point2 points ago

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Cause im from 4chan

[–]bewom 1 point2 points ago

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because it's on the front page...

[–]TramposchK 1 point2 points ago

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Because I've been to 4chan.org...

[–]DaRabidMonkey 1 point2 points ago

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Almost every scuba diver uses a normal regulator to breathe, which is in no way connected to the mask (which covers only the eyes and nose). As such, when you barf while scuba diving, the vomit simply comes out of the side of the regulator (just like exhaled air does). So yeah, the title didn't make sense in that way, anyhow, haha.

[–]Catch22af 1 point2 points ago

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FUCK YOU, DON'T YOU JUDGE ME DOG!

[–]Xendeth 1 point2 points ago

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Oh god, the self-realization I just had hurt my self-esteem.

[–]lawyersgunsnmoney 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Dammit, totally fell for that. And yet I am strangely drawn to googling it to see if it actually exists somewhere...

[–]jmthetank 1 point2 points ago

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  1. Fail troll is fail.

  2. I wanna see some whale poop!

[–]ThEgg 1 point2 points ago

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Why not?

[–]arsmith222 1 point2 points ago

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For science!

[–]swoshromp 1 point2 points ago

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fucking liar give me the actual image

[–]MezzaCorux 1 point2 points ago

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This is not the porn I was looking for

[–]someguy82 1 point2 points ago

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Because I wanted to see how large a whale crap was compared to a human =\ I am very disappoint!!

[–]feeblemuffin 1 point2 points ago

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because it was in /r/funny.

[–]alphadiabetic 1 point2 points ago

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For science!

[–]vertigo4 1 point2 points ago

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Relevant Rule_34?

[–]Jessum 1 point2 points ago

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I wanted to see a whale crap.

[–]D3m0nk1d 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know what i expected..

[–]Nocturnalbird45 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a fucked up individual.

[–]Grandmaofhurt 1 point2 points ago

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You don't know what the title says, You'se just a dog!

[–]Bleedthebeat 1 point2 points ago

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WTF!!! That shit would have been hilarious! How dare you, sir. How dare you.

[–]elebrin 1 point2 points ago

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I read /r/wtf. Really, there are worse things to look at out there.

[–]LoathedOne 1 point2 points ago

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How often do you get to see whales crapping? And to say that it hit someone would make it a must click!

[–]vermilion8 1 point2 points ago

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I WAS CURIOUS!!! Don't judge me :'(

[–]Intr0vert 1 point2 points ago

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IT HAD A LOT OF UPVOTES, GOD DAMMIT.

[–]Nulthrax 1 point2 points ago

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why woudnt we click?

[–]bakedlays 1 point2 points ago

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OP never delivers.

[–]hardcore_softie 1 point2 points ago

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Personally, I clicked on it to see a picture of a whale crapping on a diver, who then pukes in his mask.

[–]moosechild 1 point2 points ago

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Son, I am disappoint.

[–]simen 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not interested in whale poop, but I admit I'm slightly curious why 6617 people (as of right now) find it upvote-worthy. Apparently, because it isn't whale poop.

[–]heavyj1970 1 point2 points ago

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What kind of diving mask covers your mouth?

[–]svidrigal 1 point2 points ago

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Why? I was genuinely intrigued...

[–]Ragekitty 1 point2 points ago

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You got me.