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top 200 commentsshow all 304

[–]steno_light 188 points189 points ago

TIL reddit hates Chuck Norris

[–][deleted] 140 points141 points ago

Hard to imagine how Reddit could hate a fundamentalist young-earth creationist christian wingnut republican who thinks Mother Mary would have aborted baby Jesus if she had had Obamacare.

[–]Deddan 60 points61 points ago*

Also, Chuck Norris jokes are ancient. I've seen them done on television.. The meme is dead.

[–]iNNeRKaoS 39 points40 points ago

Not just TV, but a commercial.

[–]Deddan 21 points22 points ago

Oh god.. It's worse than I thought.

[–]larynx1982 12 points13 points ago

TIL that once a meme has been used on TV it cannot be used on the internet anymore.

[–]Deddan 12 points13 points ago

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

bloody hell. Good find, old chap.

[–]iMarmalade 14 points15 points ago

You know a meme is dead when your mom forwards them to you. They show up on TV shortly after that.

[–]scumbagatheist 2 points3 points ago

or worse; email forward from grandma

[–]Huggle_Shark 0 points1 point ago

And a US politician used them and Norris in a campaign video (or is that what you're talking about?).

[–]nevek 16 points17 points ago

Abusively. Like an angry man beating his woman.

[–]iMarmalade 0 points1 point ago

Appropriate metaphor for describing Chuck Norris.

[–]GODFATHER_OF_REDDIT 683 points684 points ago

I thought we decided to move on to Liam Neeson because Chuck Norris is a crazy, religious bigot.

[–]GeneralWarts 250 points251 points ago

On phone with Bowser

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for coins, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career of plumbing. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let the princess go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

[–]ShakeNBakey 165 points166 points ago

Sorry Liam, but your daughter is in another country...

[–]snookers 51 points52 points ago

...good luck.

[–]Legoandsprit 0 points1 point ago

I'll tear down the Great Wall of China if I have to!

[–]Kramol 11 points12 points ago

[–]mistersabs 1 point2 points ago

Why did I laugh so hard at this?

[–]RetinaMisfire 1 point2 points ago

Signed in at work just to upvote.

[–]DarthChocolate 2 points3 points ago

What did I just watch?

[–]MortifiedPuppy 10 points11 points ago

Liam Neeson releasing the Kraken.

[–]paradoksikal 2 points3 points ago

[–]Braach_of_None 2 points3 points ago

by the gawds I love me some Clutch

[–]stopmotionporn 0 points1 point ago

You watched a video on youtube.

[–]Phoenix2700 1 point2 points ago

[–]Names_That_Movie 51 points52 points ago

Taken

[–]BananaHammock74 9 points10 points ago

I gave you a downvote at first, but then read your name, here, have your upvote back.

[–]Colostomy 13 points14 points ago

I'm grateful that I know you did this. Thank you for this very valuable information.

[–]LgnTss 11 points12 points ago

I disagree with your sarcasm sir,

I found his comment to be a helpful notice to check the redditors name before downvoting.

[–]Pit107 1 point2 points ago

I'd really love if Charles Martinet did a recording of this.

[–]AdaAstra 1 point2 points ago

Im in a middle of a meeting and trying to keep a straight face after reading that. Im failing miserably.

[–]mozeiny 4 points5 points ago

I hear you can play with Nelson in 2P

[–]John_Wang 5 points6 points ago

Mandela?

[–]lord_nougat 1 point2 points ago

Admiral?

[–]steaksawse 1 point2 points ago

Muntz?

[–]zachv 3 points4 points ago

I thought we picked Dolph Lundgren?

[–]pawkair 37 points38 points ago

I agree. Liam neeson should be the new "bad ass idol" anyone see how awesome he was in taken?

[–]Sogeking99 21 points22 points ago

Yeah but wasn't the joke that Norris isn't really that badass at all, reddit killed it by acknowledging it now though.

[–]ze_ben 9 points10 points ago

Yeah I dunno. It's hard to know to what degree the CN jokes were ironic. It's a hipster runtime error.

[–]Ultraseamus 3 points4 points ago*

Yeah, but I think that was similar to how Rick Rolling took off. It was a cheesy song, with a cheesy music video that everyone pretended to hate, but secretly did not mind being constantly linked to. So, people thought it was lame in a good way; just like old Norris. No doubt all the years of jokes about Norris being godly did not hurt him in any way, it probably even provided some business opportunities; and, everyone was fine with that.

The newly(ish) developing opinion of Norris is that he is lame in a bad way; he supports things that Reddit hates, and the crowd is moving towards genuinely disliking him. With that being the case, it makes sense to move away form using the joke. Because, no matter how ironic you might think the jokes are, to most people they paint Norris in a good light. Most kids these day only know about Norris through the jokes.

[–]iMarmalade 1 point2 points ago

I think you are retconning the meme.

[–]at_work919 6 points7 points ago

exactly.. CN jokes are funny because Norris is a lame ass piece of shit. Neeson, on the other hand... can knock out a wolf with one punch.

[–]Sogeking99 4 points5 points ago

Which is why he is not right for the part. Norris jokes were awesome till reddit went and killed it. :(

[–]cassus_fett 0 points1 point ago

actually norris is a real life badass, he lost a tournament early in his martial arts career and told his trainer he would never lose another fight, his final career record was 183–10

[–]Sogeking99 0 points1 point ago

That is pretty badass.

[–]greyfoxv1 6 points7 points ago

If you want to see bad ass go out and see The Grey. It's not a balls out action movie like Taken but god fucking damn it is it a good film.

[–]WarPhalange -1 points0 points ago

He was good in one movie and that makes him a badass idol now? We should just go back to Vin Diesel.

[–]BoojiBoy 1 point2 points ago

Mickey Rourke. Definitely.

[–]busche916 0 points1 point ago

Let's be fair, he has been in some excellent movies

[–]imissyourmusk 14 points15 points ago

Why not Bruce Lee?

[–]SuperShamou -1 points0 points ago

Why not Omari?

[–]-Reddit_Ryan- 24 points25 points ago

Why not Zoidberg?

[–]cassus_fett 2 points3 points ago

why is it that just because he is christian he is a crazy bigot? if he was any other religion it would not change perception of him

[–]jun2san 2 points3 points ago

I almost want to like him now just to spite you guys.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 1 point2 points ago

do you have any comment on the thread right now in r/subredditdrama that you are karmanaut?

[–]GODFATHER_OF_REDDIT 0 points1 point ago

Do you have a link to the thread?

And, why would people think I'm karmanaut?

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 1 point2 points ago

I cant find it anymore :/

[–]Aggnavarius 1 point2 points ago

Because name calling.

[–]thratty 8 points9 points ago

Nice try, Liam Neeson.

[–]veyronb 6 points7 points ago

I completely missed the part when Chuck Norris revealed he is a crazy, religious bigot (not as attune to what goes on in the internet as I would like to be). Can someone point to a source?

[–]veyronb 2 points3 points ago

Very informative. Thank you.

Why do 33 states accept the bible and teach it as part of History?

[–]majorlihung 4 points5 points ago

Because....'MURICA!!!!!!!

[–]lord_nougat 2 points3 points ago

Because stupid people.

[–]mattwaver 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, am I the only one who thinks chuck Norris jokes are stupid as fuck?

[–]Direnaar 0 points1 point ago

Liam Neeson, who is thinking about becoming muslim :)

[–]badsoap -2 points-1 points ago

i thought we decided this weird ironic fetishizing of masculinity shit is not actually funny

[–]Alcranky 276 points277 points ago

Fuck you, and fuck Chuck Norris.

[–]DavinderB 12 points13 points ago

On a request thread a while back, someone asked for a drawing of Chuck Norris. I think the sketch I did is relevant here.

[–]iMarmalade 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

DAMNIT. I'll give this post an upvote in proxy.

[–]flyheight 0 points1 point ago

I feel your pain. Upvoting here instead.

[–]Boshaft 0 points1 point ago

It's weird seeing what I voted for a year ago...

[–]karmalizing 75 points76 points ago

If only real life Chuck Norris wasn't such a sniveling, indoctrinated butt-puppet.

Feels bad, man.

[–]jettrscga 18 points19 points ago

Butt-puppets... are those in any way related to ass-clowns?

[–]kenba2099 57 points58 points ago

Butt-puppets are the props used by assclowns in their shitshows.

[–]Alcranky 12 points13 points ago

You win.

[–]Captain_LargePoop 5 points6 points ago

The real winners are our librarians.

[–]ehrlics 0 points1 point ago

What's their relation, if any, to shit-puppets? I know shit-puppets are only supposed to be angry at other shit-puppets, but I have no information as to their interaction with butt-puppets.

[–]Hippopoptimus_Prime 1 point2 points ago

Ass clowns are clowns that live and breed within your anus. They slip out in the middle of the night to join the local circus, leaving only a balloon animal and a foam red nose behind to thank you for your hospitality.

Butt puppets are people that merely have another human's arm shoved so far up their ass that all motor control is given up to the hand parasite.

[–]cusswordsofthefuture 2 points3 points ago

upvote for butt-puppet

[–]josiahw 69 points70 points ago

Chuck Norris slowly pulls something from his pocket... a Bible! "You will go to hell if you don't read this," he says to the goombas.

[–]gojirra 11 points12 points ago

I prefer these ones:

M. Bison

Michael Jackson

[–]andrewsmith1986 123 points124 points ago

Not enough crazy religiousness.

[–]madcaesar 49 points50 points ago

Not enough homophobia.

[–]drockers 27 points28 points ago

Relevant Chuck Norris video because he's a fucking dick head.

[–]superrandomguy 4 points5 points ago

Personal opinions about religious affiliation aside, this video actually makes him seem like a nice guy who honestly cares about America's well being. It seems he was vocal about many of America's budgeting/spending issues the "99%" attached to before that movement even started. He doesn't seem nearly as bigoted as most of the people hating on him in this thread (and on Reddit in general). Not to mention, all of his comments were made on a TV station specifically geared towards a christian audience, rather than a general purpose forum like Reddit.

[–]drockers 6 points7 points ago

After I linked it I realize I found the wrong video, I meant to link this one

[–]superrandomguy 2 points3 points ago

Yea, that video is a bit more controversial...not sure that pushing a religious agenda is what America needs :-/ . Still seems like a nice guy though, not really bigoted by comparison either.

[–]Strideo -1 points0 points ago

What? You have your own opinion on the matter and you aren't just spitting venom at the man?

SO BRAVE!

[–]lovelyallen 53 points54 points ago

Sure feels 14 in here.

[–]lord_nougat 1 point2 points ago

Don't feel the 14! That's a banhammer paddlin!

[–]maverickx12 20 points21 points ago

Fuck Chuck Norris.

Liam Neeson > Chuck Norris.

[–]ronin1066 3 points4 points ago

As much as I absolutely hate CHuck Norris, this gif was pretty funny

[–]Johnceeking 106 points107 points ago

Chuck Norris is an asshole. Have a downvote.

[–]thaspaam 11 points12 points ago

The purpose of Chuck Norris jokes is to make fun of the way Chuck Norris is portrayed in movies.

[–]harris5 14 points15 points ago

They might have started out that way, but I'd venture a guess that the vast majority of people are more aware of "Chuck Norris the godlike action hero punchline" than "Chuck Norris the repugnant hypernut who can't act".

TL;DR: the joke is missed by most everyone

[–]thaspaam 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, I find myself having to explain the joke more often than I would like.

[–]TheVaccinator 10 points11 points ago

Where's the part where Chuck Norris judges Toad for worshiping star power?

[–]Demonweed 26 points27 points ago

Fun fact: This is the first video game to render Chuck Norris in actual size.

[–]ADIDAS247 5 points6 points ago

FALSE: Penis is too big

[–]oldstoneface 29 points30 points ago

Seriously, Chuck the bigot Norris?

[–]johnnyfatsac 10 points11 points ago

Should have made it with Bruce Lee. Chuck Norris is a cunt.

[–]Son_of_a_Bee_Sting 13 points14 points ago

I may not be a fan of the guy (We all know he's a douche) but this is still pretty funny.

[–]Chilapox 7 points8 points ago

Regardless of the stupidity of chuck norris jokes, this was pretty cool.

[–]bigmeech 4 points5 points ago

it's like it's 2006

[–]nuinbot 1 point2 points ago

Silly Chuck Norris. You can't attempt a rescue on any x-1 level.

[–]Archenoth 1 point2 points ago

As much as I don't find the meme funny anymore... That was damn awesome!

[–]alsothewalrus 1 point2 points ago

4

As a physics major, my brain just combusted.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

infinity to the 4th power divided by zero.

[–]alsothewalrus 1 point2 points ago

[–]phrank12 1 point2 points ago

The last toad represents the separation of church and state.

[–]BadHat 1 point2 points ago

One time Chuck Norris punched the internet so hard with his crazy that it was still reeling from the impact years later.

[–]Baron_Von_Wasteland 1 point2 points ago

Jesus Christ, so much hate. The animation was really well done. Upvote. ALSO, IT'S NOT ACTUALLY FUCKING CHUCK NORRIS SO CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

[–]ILoveAMp 1 point2 points ago*

Why are Chuck Norris' political beliefs at all relevant to this GIF?

You're a bunch of nitpicky pantywaffles!

[–]BeardedLion 1 point2 points ago

So much win

[–]Canardlaquay 4 points5 points ago

[–]elorc 2 points3 points ago

It's a good thing this isn't rated R. Chuck Norris only goes G, PG, and PG-13. No filthy language, either.

[–]randomlyoblivious 2 points3 points ago

Jack Bauer would have interrogated Bowser and gotten Peach's location within 24 min.

[–]bearodactylrak 4 points5 points ago

Reddit == Barrens Chat? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Subbzzz 7 points8 points ago

fuck chuck norris

[–]cjb630 5 points6 points ago

Chuck Norris? Still? It has literally been ten years.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Funny, but you forgot the part where he has a stroke because he's a dried up old man...

[–]Battlesheep 2 points3 points ago

Does anyone enjoy Chuck Norris jokes just because they piss off the Chuck Norris haters?

[–]JaggedOne -1 points0 points ago

My thoughts exactly.

[–]r0bbiedigital 3 points4 points ago

fuck chuck norris

[–]randomlyoblivious 1 point2 points ago

It's funny until he praises god for allowing to continue his search for Peach and his divine plan, even after the past 58 castles were empty.

[–]reagan2016 -2 points-1 points ago

Hey, can we talk about how much we hate Chuck Norris because he's a Christian?

[–]dustlesswalnut 39 points40 points ago

I don't hate him because he's a christian, I hate him because he's a bigot that's trying to impose his religion on everyone else in the country.

And he's a shitty actor in shitty movies and his home gym equipment is garbage.

[–]LouWaters 7 points8 points ago

Seriously. You can't get buff at all on a Total Gym.

[–]greyfoxv1 4 points5 points ago

People have also taken what used to be a funny internet meme making fun of how bad he is in movies and TV to such an extreme that people actually think he is tough or portrays badass characters. Also he ruined The Expendables 2 by demanding there be no cursing a PG-13 rating. Fuck Chuck Norris.

[–]teeker95 16 points17 points ago

That's no Christian. That's an asshole.

[–]RodneyFiendish 2 points3 points ago

Super Chuck Norris ...is an asshole in real life.

[–]juca5056 2 points3 points ago

Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and walks home.

[–]theseus82 1 point2 points ago*

Except for the time that Bruce Lee kicked Chuck Norris' ass in Way of the Dragon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYHZEu7Y7DU

the only reason Norris does well in the beginning is because this is the boss fight for the movie, and Bruce Lee is invincible for the entire movie, as always. You can also tell that Bruce Lee moves about 5x as fast as Norris.

actually, in a documentary about Bruce Lee, it was shown that he could move faster than conventional film could record. There is a clip of him training where his fist simply moves 3 feet from one "screen" to the next.

[–]mesosorry 1 point2 points ago

I've been waiting so long for people to start saying "fuck Chuck Norris".

[–]XK310 0 points1 point ago

Where is the part where he forces his bigoted religious beliefs down Mario's throat? Or where he talks about his research that agrees with what he already believes....

[–]heracleides 0 points1 point ago

HE KICKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS ENERGY LEGS

[–]Hessmix 1 point2 points ago

How can people down vote a powerthirst reference.

[–]hflol 2 points3 points ago

I hate Chuck Norris but this was pretty cool.

[–]trampus1 2 points3 points ago

Let's get some Anti Norris jokes going like the last thread about him had.

If you lined up all the dicks Chuck Norris has sucked in his lifetime, it would stretch from Earth to Uranus.

[–]gigin15 0 points1 point ago

I knew it was Daneboe as soon as I saw that awful blood

[–]amjhwk 0 points1 point ago

why would the grapling hook just go through all of the obstacles in the way

[–]JRoch 0 points1 point ago

So, he has only 1 life?

[–]yeeuup 0 points1 point ago

I lold so hard at this.

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

Tremendous.

[–]Shurikane 0 points1 point ago

Weird, I'm sure I just saw Super Rico Rodriguez here...

[–]WarPhalange 0 points1 point ago

Why does Norris hurt Toad?

[–]iMarmalade 2 points3 points ago

Because Toad was homosexual.

[–]Trimmel 0 points1 point ago

This is just super.

[–]whatevers_clever 0 points1 point ago

I got a 403 error and can't see what this is leading to. I thought the joke was that Chuck Norris can take town Google

[–]Arxl 0 points1 point ago

Make this into Super Saxton Hale and Reddit would appreciate it a lot more than this.

[–]utpoia 0 points1 point ago

Loved the Last KicK..... knock the head-off

[–]Omnipro 0 points1 point ago

Although Chuck jokes are tired I really enjoyed it, so upvoted.

[–]matlick 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else start humming the music without realizing it?

[–]8HokiePokie8 0 points1 point ago

Can someone make a, "Super Saiyan Chuck Norris," gif? Please and thank you!

[–]Fortyseven 0 points1 point ago

I'm torn between upvoting for it being a rather well-done animation, and downvoting because of that fucking overrated scumbag, Norris.

[–]kr239 0 points1 point ago

I actually can't stop laughing....over a minute and half and my face hurts XD

[–]ChronoViking 0 points1 point ago

Ha! Someone needs to do bruce lee...

[–]TeethMummy 0 points1 point ago

Chuck Norris is the reason The Expendables 2 is PG-13 instead of R. FUCK HIM

[–]RetinaMisfire 0 points1 point ago

Love how Toad is just, "uhh.. thanks i guess"

[–]chilehead 0 points1 point ago

He's a douchebag even in video games. Steals someone's house while searching for a kidnapping victim, tears up the landscape, kills an innocent because he's pissed at his own ineptitude... sounds like a Norris.

[–]Neguse 0 points1 point ago

Toad: Thank you for rescuing me, but your princes is in another castle.

Chock Norris: Right as of now, you are my princess. unzips

[–]CombatGynecologist 0 points1 point ago

Fuck Norris

[–]jnethery 0 points1 point ago

Good .gif, but Chuck Norris jokes are super old news...

[–]atvb12 0 points1 point ago

chuck norris fucking sucks. chuck norris jokes are not and never were funny/amusing/clever in any way. fuck him.

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 0 points1 point ago

I know we all hate chuck norris because that's fun and whatever, but this gif was entertaining and I wish that just once, people would focus on what's actually happening in the image.

[–]_no_name 0 points1 point ago

Am I on eBaum's World?

[–]Venom45528 0 points1 point ago

The one game I'll actually beat...

[–]DragonRaptor 0 points1 point ago

This was pretty awesome.

[–]cheshirecat76453 0 points1 point ago

So, it is okay for me to hate chuck norris on reddit? I think i have found my heaven!!!!

[–]Fushigidane 0 points1 point ago

LIES! Toad was in the end of world CASTLES! Not the end of level... wait... Wow. He IS good.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]rambozo8 0 points1 point ago

Why didnt he just pray for the castle to explode, im sure it would have worked.

[–]SuperCoupe 0 points1 point ago

I'd be funny if the real chuck wasn't such a small, tiny bitch.

[–]rustafur 0 points1 point ago

Holy Jesus, this is the greatest (non-porn) mage ever.

[–]iChopPryde -1 points0 points ago

Liam Neeson is for sure the new bad ass plus his movies are always great!

[–]dustlesswalnut 0 points1 point ago

Except for that one.

You know which one I mean...

[–]demoness 0 points1 point ago

why super?

i didn't understand the redundancy.

[–]RedHotChiliPeppa 1 point2 points ago

I wonder what it would be like if you chose 2 player

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

How is this still on the front page?

[–]nickateen -4 points-3 points ago

I love how many lives he has, infinity to the fourth divided by zero.

[–]Myth3842 -2 points-1 points ago

Chuck Norris is stupid because he's Christian.

Hey guys am I cool yet?

[–]iMarmalade 1 point2 points ago

How about you look more into his political activism and get back to us?

[–]bricebru22 -1 points0 points ago

Chuck Norris jokes are on the same level as Borat.

[–]lord_nougat 0 points1 point ago

That, my friend, is a horrible insult to the horrible humour of Borat.

[–]ProbablyHorny -5 points-4 points ago

I can't believe I've been playing it wrong all these years :(

[–]it_wasnt_me_ -2 points-1 points ago

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he DECIDES what the time is.