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all 34 comments

[–]rogersmith25 7 points8 points ago

If all else fails, go with the account that most reflects your own personal beliefs and prejudices...

[–]kragmoor 1 point2 points ago

and then claim that all else are irrelevant whilst still using them in arguments

[–]3D_Dot_Soul 5 points6 points ago

4?

[–]Logomac3 10 points11 points ago

Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John.

[–]3D_Dot_Soul 1 point2 points ago

Ah, ok. Thanks for clearing that up lol

[–]AndAnAlbatross 5 points6 points ago

There's a lot more than 4, but only Matthew Mark Luke and John (and books associated with them) are biblical canon.

[–]bapzannigan 1 point2 points ago

lmao

[–]slimjims12 1 point2 points ago

I just laughed loudly in class.....thanks a lot haha

[–]Dgaduin 1 point2 points ago

Emmm kinda have to disagree - there are more than those 4. Just that not all of them are accepted by all churches, some are not even accepted as real (like my favorite of Thomas - yeah I have a favorite gospel, kinda part of my job). But otherwise - tru story bro for the pic.

[–]bapzannigan 1 point2 points ago

But the joke works better this way

[–]retix 0 points1 point ago

agreed - Thomas is an interesting read

[–]toodrunktofuck 0 points1 point ago

Really cool.:)

[–]keyree 0 points1 point ago

Weird, it's almost like "I traveled with this guy for a couple years, and then thirty years later I decided I'd better write down some of the stuff he said" did not lead to very reliable testimonies.

[–]mouseparty 2 points3 points ago

More like 70 years later by other people, for even the earliest Gospel, Mark.

The oldest New Testament writings are Paul's letters.

[–]ChadwickHenryWard 0 points1 point ago

Mark is placed at about 40 years after the Crucifixion. John is placed at 70 years later. John is the only one of the four that displays accurate geographic knowledge of Palestine, but if the author was ten when witnessing the events, he would have been eighty when writing his Gospel, an age that was vanishingly rare for that time. Even if describing real events, none of the Gospels are firsthand.

[–]ChadwickHenryWard 0 points1 point ago

Current scholarship does not regard any of the Gospels as having been written by individuals who were present for the events their works describe. Two of the Gospels, Matthew and Luke, are copied from Mark and another document called "Q," of which there are no extant copies. They are at best secondhand accounts.

[–]whatevrmn 0 points1 point ago

Two of the Gospels, Matthew and Luke, are copied from Mark

And they did a piss poor job of copy pasta. [From the Skeptic's Annotated Bible](1:6-16) "David the king begat Solomon." There are 28 generations listed from David to Jesus in Matthew's genealogy, while Luke's (3:23-31) has 43. Except for David at one end and Jesus at the other, there are only three names in the two lists that are the same.) 1:6-16) "David the king begat Solomon." There are 28 generations listed from David to Jesus in Matthew's genealogy, while Luke's (3:23-31) has 43. Except for David at one end and Jesus at the other, there are only three names in the two lists that are the same.

[–]ChadwickHenryWard 0 points1 point ago

Of the three Synoptic Gospels, (Mark, Matthew, and Luke) there are three parts: those passages common to all three (copied from Mark into the two later Gospels,) those parts that are common to only to the two later works (drawn from a document German scholars called "Q") and passages that are unique to a single Gospel (in the case of Matthew and Luke, either fabricated de novo or drawn from some still unknown third source.) Since Luke makes no attempt to make Jesus a member of David's house, the other two authors were forced to each independently come up with their own lineage. I actually don't know why more versions of the New Testament do not have these two disparate accounts harmonized, like the Lord's Prayer usually is. One thing is practically certain - neither genealogy accurately reflects real events.

[–]philotimon 0 points1 point ago

It appears they didn't pay close attention at all. Water to wine, snakes and apples? Dude was pissed out drunk.

[–]wholikesmilk 0 points1 point ago

Lol, happened anyway...

[–]Professor_Oedipus 0 points1 point ago

Actually, there were way more than four gospels, in addition to the four featured in most bibles, every apostle wrote one, and Mary Magdalene.

[–]larpas 0 points1 point ago

I... I haven't seen this before. What is this?

[–]DarkStar5758 -1 points0 points ago

Actually there were more than 4 but the church decided one the ones that make there beliefs look the best

[–]Buffalox 0 points1 point ago

I don't want to end up with 4...

4 was what we ended up with.

[–]philotimon -1 points0 points ago

And why the fuck is this in Atheism? Sounds like they're saying, Jesus existed, and atleast 1 of his versions were true, or regarded as such.

[–]Subcidal 2 points3 points ago

...........

Not sure if super easily annoyed, or just a troll.

[–]philotimon -3 points-2 points ago

Make a meme, why dontcha? When you start talking in meme captions, it's time to slit those wrists.

[–]Subcidal 1 point2 points ago

Douchebaggin it up, Stay classy bud.

[–]philotimon -2 points-1 points ago

What I read was, Cliche cliche cliche, [CAPS]c[/CAPS]liche cliche cliche.

I'm writing down your reply right now, and I will post you the jpeg of the writing when your reply is here. Probably shouldn't have told you that, but hey, here's a chance to mix it up.. uh oh.. herpderpherpderpderpderpderpderp.. REPUBLICAN NOMINEE FOR PRESIDENT!

[–]Subcidal 0 points1 point ago

wat?

[–]CottonNero 1 point2 points ago

Not necessarily. Atheists need not take a particular position on the existence of a human Jesus, or on the accuracy of the gospel narratives on reporting what Jesus said.

Edit: I accidentally an 's'.

[–]philotimon -1 points0 points ago

Right. That is a convenient position to take.

So, if he said all those things for the first time in recorded history, and since most (all) of what he said is positive, I would be remiss if I didn't follow these gospels, wouldn't I? How do you differentiate between what he actually said that made it to 2012, and what had been inserted by Religious nutjobs, over the years, to suit their own ends?

So, by taking no position, you take the position that you don't believe in them by default, since irrefutable proof that he did say these things is impossible to get, and atheists know this, and for different reasons, religious zealots know and hang on to this.

[–]Zealex[S] 0 points1 point ago

Posted it as a joke...

[–]philotimon 0 points1 point ago

I suppose that was obvious. But people started to actually discuss the versions of the bible, and all the Christians on reddit started upvoting the fucking exchanges back and forth, and it somehow made it to the top. If I wasn't at work... <shaking fist>.. I'd browse 4Chan.