Maybe we're the ones being selfish instead?

In essence this is often the case. It's far easier to change the negative feelings we have of ANY situation into anger at the person rather than truly understanding the situation and wallowing in the sadness. An easy example for this is relationships, look at the number of people that will childishly make themselves hate an ex in order to get over a relationship, as opposed to being sad. Converting to anger is a natural reaction we use.

For the bystanders of suicide it's also much easier to deal with it this way than to feel racked with the guilt of having not noticed, or not done anything when they did notice something was wrong, or in the case of knowing fully that they were going to try something - not doing enough to stop it.

I was close to someone who was successful in their suicide, I do not blame them for the negative feelings it caused me though, they were not to blame for the complete mental clusterfuck that caused them to carry out those actions. I've been through proper depression myself when I was a little younger so I have a little experience myself in understanding exactly what it's like to have the chemicals in your body not mixing right and for your mental state to just not be "you". It is an incredibly difficult thing to convey to anyone that hasn't experienced that kind of imbalance, the kind of mental influence it has on you.

The only way I've found to describe this is, you know those times where you just don't quite feel right? Like you're not inside your own head? You can't think clearly and your brain just doesn't feel under your own control? Those kinds of events pass after a good meal or sleep right? Well, mix that with the most gut wrenchingly horrible sadness in the world, stress, any kinds of things you can think of, concoct it all in a huge mess, then imagine all of that together in some huge clusterfuck, it's more than enough to make you do something stupid in the moment, let alone some people going through varying degrees of clusterfuck for weeks, months, years.

All it takes is the wrong concoction of crap, negativity and mental stress to break someone. And that's the best term I have for it, they are broken and need fixing, it is not their fault. When I had depression, "my body is broken" was precisely the way it felt.

Though I personally never had suicidal tendencies, understanding them I feel is difficult understand what ill mental health is really like.