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1293
1294

Nope. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by hotrice123

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[–]YeaISeddit 50 points51 points ago

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I'm pretty sure this is Shark Valley, FL. I used to go bicycling there with my brothers and my dad. Sometimes you'd have to wait for a big alligator to clear the path.

[–]neveranycomplaints 38 points39 points ago

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Yup, it's Shark Valley; however, I don't wait 'til they clear the path. THIS IS 'MERICA!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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Emril?

[–]LonelyNixon 8 points9 points ago

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BAM!

It bit off my leg.

[–]xebo 7 points8 points ago

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You know he could totally fucking eat you right there. He could sprint over and bite your ass before you could fall off your bike.

[–]GoatBased 8 points9 points ago

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They can run pretty fast, but they are notoriously poor at turning. It would take that gator some time to face his prey. In that time, he should peddle like hell, and then he should start zigzagging.

[–]xebo 6 points7 points ago

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TIL gator defense

Actually, the more you turn, the more likely you are to fall over. I'm never testing this theory.

[–]GoatBased 4 points5 points ago

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When typing that, I had visions of myself twisting my ankle and falling into a gator's mouth. /shudder

[–]bivendan 0 points1 point ago

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The more you turn...

[–]rowuco -1 points0 points ago

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they are notoriously poor at turning. It would take that gator some time to face his prey. In that time, he should peddle like hell, and then he should start zigzagging.

False. Probably made up by a member of the gator/croc family to make stupid people easier to catch. Also those gators are babies compared to the crocs we get here. The one on the left is bigger than your gators. The right one could probably eat one for a snack. (these were both caught in the wild near where my dad lives). Bonus some lads performing a job that would scare the shit outta me.

[–]CarlGauss 2 points3 points ago

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Alligators top speed is reported to be 11mph, while usain bolt can run at 28mph. Even if you aren't a top athlete, and can only run half as fast as him, thats still 14mph, enough to outrun an alligator. Someone on a bike can easy cruise out of a charging alligators way.

[–]GoatBased 7 points8 points ago*

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That's the top speed of crocodiles, not alligators. Alligators can run 20+ mph. (source)

Edit: apparently the American crocodile can also run 20mph (source)

[–]xebo 5 points6 points ago

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Usain would still outrun that bitch. Usain don't give a shit.

[–]Your_Poolboy 0 points1 point ago

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I actually read the second article. They can reach 10 mph on land and 20 mph when swimming...

[–]GoatBased 0 points1 point ago

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That's an alligator in the photo, not a crocodile, so he's still at risk, but I did think that crocodiles could only get up to 11mph... glad to know I misinterpreted the article.

[–]MaeveningErnsmau 4 points5 points ago

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I've only heard of one attack in Shark Valley, and the person wasn't killed. The alligators there tend to have better hunting than elsewhere in the Everglades (really all of the Everglades are in serious dire straits) and moreover they're very used to people being around. Still can be a little unnerving though.

[–]gotta_Say_It 0 points1 point ago

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You don't run, they can catch you even if you don't fall. You stick the bike in his face, he'll bite the tire and thrush his head from side to side, just keep it in there as you back up to run for it. Pick something to go over like a fence, shrubs, or fallen tree and you should be home free after that. They cant' run and jump over things and don't like to run over objects they being low to the ground with a soft-ish underside.

[–]bonafideblacksheep 14 points15 points ago

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is that a...female bike?

[–]bearsa113609 8 points9 points ago

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Why yes, yes it is.

[–]neveranycomplaints 4 points5 points ago

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Only one left at the rental place man... you gotta do what you gotta do!

[–]Shleek81 1 point2 points ago

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Thats right. You gotta do what you gotta do... Without complaining.

[–]OthoJNoggle 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah but it's strong enough for a man.

[–]Radxical 0 points1 point ago

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TIL bikes have genders

[–]minkgod 10 points11 points ago

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I concur. Scariest/best part of my childhood.

[–]thepiedpiper 8 points9 points ago

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Shark Valley is awesome, went there a few years ago. It was mating season

[–]persona 11 points12 points ago

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Spring Break?

[–]JudgeWhoAllowsStuff 1 point2 points ago

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Snoop Croc likes to watch.

[–]MaeveningErnsmau 0 points1 point ago

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The male alligator mating croak is crazy.

[–]wratx 7 points8 points ago

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flashbacks to when i was 8 and lived in Miami...we rode bikes there a couple of times...once it was flooded and the canals on the side were flowing over the bikepath so i basically felt like i was in the water with the alligators

one of the scariest moments of my childhood

[–]jorellh 3 points4 points ago

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I almost died there trying to walk the 14 mile loop with only a camera and a bottle of water.

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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...Ouch.

[–]jorellh 0 points1 point ago

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tell me about it. I almost passed out from heat stroke. The gators were very good at motivating me to continue walking.

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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That's any movement in Miami.

[–]mars296 2 points3 points ago

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Yup. A couple of friends of mine were fishing in the area just outside of Shark Valley when one dropped his phone in the water. He jumped in and retrieved it. It still worked (Razr). There were no visible gators in the immediate area when he jumped in but one swam over a couple minutes later.

Also, for those not from Florida, Shark Valley has no sharks (freshwater) and Alligator Reef has no alligators but does have sharks.

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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Welp that's Florida. I thought it was called that though because that's where the eggs float to.

[–]random012345 0 points1 point ago

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Incorrect. The Shark River is a brackish feeder river that connects to the ocean and is where Shark Valley got its name. The river has been known to have Bull Sharks in it, which is a shark that can survive in brackish or even fresh water.

[–]Delimau5 3 points4 points ago

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Looks more like Alligator Valley.

[–]PandaC 1 point2 points ago

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This was my parents favorite place to take us in the summer. Went there probably 3/4 times every summer when I was 12, 13, and 14... My little brother and sister are 3/4 years younger than me.

I asked one of the park rangers if there where many accidents there. He said only one death had occurred (by gator) since the park opened. A kid was playing with a ball and it fell in the canal next to the road, and he went for it.

I wonder if they still have the same record....

[–]rainermpg 0 points1 point ago

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been there last year, he also mentioned the kid with the ball, but wasn't it actually the mother that was killed trying to rescue the boy ?

[–]PandaC 0 points1 point ago

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Was it? I dont remember many details... this story is 10+ years old for me... :/

[–]whoami9 1 point2 points ago

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Did you guys ever leave big bowls with vodka in them and then take pics with drunk alligators?

[–]TomTheNurse 0 points1 point ago

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It is.

[–]muchachomalo 0 points1 point ago

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Did the alligators name it shark valley to lull you into a false since of security. Too busy looking for sharks then alligators everywhere.

[–]Joelico 0 points1 point ago

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I have been there twice, it's fairly close to my house(about 20mins), for some reason the alligators are not attacking anyone... I have touched them too, but I wasn't brave enough to pull the tail like that one jackass did while I was there...

[–]partcomputer 0 points1 point ago

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Could be St. Marks, in North Florida. This is quite the common sight in the warm season.

[–]jadeycakes 5 points6 points ago

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This is a common sight all over Florida in the warmer months. I grew up around the Myakka River State Park and this was the standard view.

[–]partcomputer 12 points13 points ago

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Florida = tl;dr we have a fuck ton of alligators

[–]jadeycakes 3 points4 points ago

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Yep! I don't live in Florida anymore so when I tell stories about alligators in our old back yard, or spread across the road so you can't move your car, people are terrified.

[–]Dr_Zoidberg_the_3rd 2 points3 points ago

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In my area we don't have gators, we have dolphins. Those raping motherfuckers.

[–]theDudeRules 1 point2 points ago

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we find gators in such strange places. they aren't endangered anymore. they are freaking everywhere down here.

[–]jpole1 3 points4 points ago

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Weirdest place I ever saw one was in center field of my little league park

[–]zac987 3 points4 points ago

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Not ALL over Florida. Central and Northern Florida, for example, have very few

[–]Kelvara 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, not like they're all over Gainesville (in north central Florida) and as a result their football team definitely wasn't named the Gators.

[–]kolosthedragon[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Ironically, in Gainesville theres like 3 gators in a tiny lake called lake Alice. Tons of gators in the everglades outside of the city though.

[–]bigblades 2 points3 points ago

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I was jogging by lake alice one time and jumped over a small "log" on the sidewalk. A minute later a friend caught up to me and said, "bro did you realized you just hopped over a gator?"

I unintentionally gave zero fucks while jogging.

[–]UFEngi88 0 points1 point ago

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Why would there be a bunch of gators in the urban part of of Gainesville? There's plenty in Lake Alice, in the ponds around campus and in Hogtown Creek.

[–]UnblinkingEye 0 points1 point ago

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Ummm... Gainesville is nowhere near the Everglades.... Continue on south on 75 and you will reach them, but it will take a few hours....

[–]YeaISeddit 0 points1 point ago

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Google tells me it is over 250 miles from Gainesville to the south side of Lake Okeechobee (taking the old highway, it's further on the Turnpike or I-75.) So, yeah, it is just a hop, skip, and a jump away.

[–]kolosthedragon[!] 0 points1 point ago

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i meant Paynes prairie; swampy, tons of wild animals, kinda like the Everglades.

[–]zac987 -3 points-2 points ago

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try Tallahassee.

[–]Kelvara 1 point2 points ago

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Tallahassee is hardly central, and northern Florida still has plenty, just less than the rest.

[–]mars296 -1 points0 points ago

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Tallahassee is not the location of UF (Gators), FSU (Seminoles) is in Tallahassee. UF is in-fact located in Gainesville.

[–]Sprags 1 point2 points ago

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Not true, maybe less, but just go to a swamp. There's still a shitload.

[–]sassyc 0 points1 point ago

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Well, guess I won't be going to Florida anytime soon.

[–]apostrophie 0 points1 point ago

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I FOUND YOU.

[–]jadeycakes 1 point2 points ago

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I love our constant reddit manhunt for each other.

[–]minikin 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, looks like St. Marks to me.

[–]mimmotoast 0 points1 point ago

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My first thought, too

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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Nah, know that sign well XD It's ol' Sharky

[–]supabowlchamp44 -1 points0 points ago

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how about gator valley????

[–]aceoftrachs 81 points82 points ago

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Signed, Albert E. Gator.

[–]Ass-Blaster 2 points3 points ago

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How bad could the other side be?

[–]Kinetic_Waffle 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, I was gonna say, TIL gators can write signs...

[–]ColossalJuggernaut -1 points0 points ago

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Go gators!

No, seriously, go gators. You'll murder the bikers/hikers! Well, I guess it isn't your fault.

Carry on gators.

[–]rk9 18 points19 points ago

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I dunno if you should ignore that sign dude, you could get hit

[–]DoubleTapThat 7 points8 points ago

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Either get hit by a car or get viciously mauled to death by alligators...

I choose option 1.

[–]VileCitizen 7 points8 points ago

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By choosing option 1, option 2 becomes your default choice. Yep, you're screwed there.

[–]DoubleTapThat 4 points5 points ago

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Unless option 1 kills you, then everything is better.

[–]Hairnet 0 points1 point ago

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Or responsible driver guy slows down because he is responsible

[–]theDudeRules 17 points18 points ago

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florida, where you just don't jump in the swimming pool until you've seen the bottom clearly; especially at night.

[–]Kinbensha 1 point2 points ago

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Lake Placid.

[–]mulimulix 1 point2 points ago

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Living in Australia, we're taught to look for spiders at the bottom of our swimming pools, as funnel webs can survive for days underwater, by trapping pockets of air, between their leg hair.

[–]moikey 2 points3 points ago

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..and that is why I cannot go to your lovely country. Sorry.

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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Now nightmares

[–]Cid 0 points1 point ago

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aligator alley, fucking miami wasn't worth holding a piss for an hour from tampa lol

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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I live on the Alley. It's fun

[–]Cid 0 points1 point ago

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st pete nigga haha, am up in PA now, always hated that road though. lived in deltona/orlandao also.

[–]elbenji 0 points1 point ago

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Nice, more of a Miamian but awesome! XD

No worries, hate it too.

[–]UnknownArchive 25 points26 points ago

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Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
I'll take my chances in traffic 187coms 808pts 7mos reddit.com
Clever gator you almost had me 5coms 27pts 8mos pics

source: karmadecay

[–]Space_Bungalow 3 points4 points ago

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Haha "hikers and bikers," that rhymes

[–]Ackbar652 4 points5 points ago

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I don't remember the name of the place I went to, but this sign looks awfully familiar. I was about 14 years old and vacationing with my dad in Southern Florida. We, along with my aunt and uncle and cousins, went to a bike path somewhere in the everglades. It was incredible, and this was incredibly common. The "tours" included the option to rent a bike, and bike along the approximately 16 mile trail, or you could just take a bus. We opted to bike it. On a couple occasions, the gators would just set themselves right in the middle of the path to get some sun. We would have to wait for the tour bus to come around and move them. Overall very fun!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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have you not read any part of this thread my son?

[–]mactac 4 points5 points ago

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This has all the markings of a Gary Larson Comic. (RIP)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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What the sign should say: Hikers And Bikes avoid this fucking road AT ALL COSTS.

[–]420Qween 1 point2 points ago

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Clearly a plot devised by those devious reptiles...

[–]shan6 1 point2 points ago

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The alligator lobby mostly just wants more of those signs put up.

[–]tkdblckblt11491 4 points5 points ago

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The alligators are trolling again.

[–]sbluerock 1 point2 points ago

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The OTHER side!

[–]FawmahRhoDyelindah 1 point2 points ago

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Relevant

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was on Skidaway Island right after that second listed attack. My girlfriend grew up there. When she was little, her and her sister used to throw tennis balls at the alligators because they would chomp them, bring them under water, and then the balls would float back to the surface. Then her sister would make her get the ball back. True story.

[–]FuglyShmugly 1 point2 points ago*

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Those are the hikers I wouldn't stop for.

[–]BooRadleyBoo 1 point2 points ago

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Friend of mine looked at that and said "Those gators are pretty advanced learning how to write".

[–]socratesishere 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try, Alligators.

[–]intended_result 3 points4 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWASwBWyUXI

[–]jvi 0 points1 point ago

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what the fuck

[–]OutrageCommodities 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe you'll feel different about it when this is posted again in a few weeks.

[–]Ingmar 0 points1 point ago

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Instead of vehicle I read Velociraptor. I need sleep.

[–]Strug-ga-ling 0 points1 point ago

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Take evasion action!.

[–]dromadika 0 points1 point ago

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demssumsmawtgatas

[–]TomTheNurse 0 points1 point ago

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There is nothing to be afraid of. (Usually.)

[–]Music-Chicky25 0 points1 point ago

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I don't tink so

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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If they're going to attack you, I doubt 3 feet is really going to change things.

[–]tonythetiger1 0 points1 point ago

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Hey look! Alligators can read!

[–]skeezix58 0 points1 point ago

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Wiley B. Gators

[–]Smug_developer 0 points1 point ago

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Damn!! Now I wonder who built those roads?

[–]Malicali 0 points1 point ago

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They show extraordinary intelligence, even problem-solving intelligent. Especially the big one...That one... when she looks at you, you can see she's working things out.

[–]mapkinase 0 points1 point ago

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Until today I used to call shenanigans when people were coming to me with "alligators can read" myths.

[–]All_I_Say_Is_Fuck 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck

[–]only_says_ass 0 points1 point ago

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Ass

[–]robbiedo 0 points1 point ago

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I guess that would be a great way to get rid of unwanted pets...small children.

[–]reclaimer 0 points1 point ago

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I was in the everglades national park during tourist season and there was a large gator in the grass along side the road like above. He was sun bathing, laying completely still. He was so still that a group of elderly tourists walked up to him thinking it was just a statue. They tried to take a picture, but before they got too close the gator turned on them and opened his mouth. Ive never seen snowbirds move so fast. Lol.

[–]Sch1308 0 points1 point ago

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I hike shark valley with my boy scout troop every year ...sweet lol

[–]seaLclubbeR11 0 points1 point ago

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It's a trap!

[–]flecko 0 points1 point ago

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They've learned how to make signs! ... it's just a matter of time now...

[–]16dots 0 points1 point ago

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I rather get hit by the car than getting chewed on by those.

[–]br00t 0 points1 point ago

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where was this taken? I swear I've been in that exact spot.

[–]marksandwich 0 points1 point ago

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Oh God, I loved that Shark Valley Canal.

[–]cdcii 0 points1 point ago

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Pearls Before Swine warned me about this. At least the crocs grammers eez impruved.

[–]Squa7ch 0 points1 point ago

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I'd wait for one to get in the middle and bunny hop the bastard...totally worth it.

[–]wrath_of_grunge 0 points1 point ago

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the alligators have obviously learned to read.

[–]lockwoot 0 points1 point ago

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those alligators are getting smarter by the minute...

[–]Tomerarenai 0 points1 point ago

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Those are some crazy-smart gators to make up such a professional looking sign.

[–]TheImmenseFence 0 points1 point ago

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ITS A TRAP!

[–]incurableinsomnia 0 points1 point ago

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Chuck Testa

[–]Gunski -4 points-3 points ago

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2006 called. They want their re-posts back.

[–]K234YGB -1 points0 points ago

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Perfect headline!

[–]WolfFang15 -2 points-1 points ago

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It's Chuck Testa

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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ps: you're welcome.

[–]NYCMiddleMan -1 points0 points ago

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FUCK NOPE!

[–]WarmGun_Happiness -1 points0 points ago

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NOPE. Chuck Testa.

[–]mbcs09 -1 points0 points ago

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Hahaha I got bitched at for reposting this nine months ago. Glad to see it's still going strong!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Gunski 0 points1 point ago

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You should post this picture here in 2 weeks. You will probably get more than -7 votes depending on how ignorant people are that day.

[–]jesse_h -2 points-1 points ago

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Karma of over 600 but only 20 comments.......

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