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I hope I never ever catch a hatchetfish. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by kevonicus

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[–]ChickaloonCharlie 36 points37 points ago

D:8

[–]ninetypoundglutton 26 points27 points ago

The ocean produces some horrible fucking things.

[–]jabba_theslut 19 points20 points ago

Did anyone else hear an eerie moaning sound when they opened this?

[–]average_red 15 points16 points ago

I heard them moaning "WHYYYYYYYY.... WHYYYYYYYYYY..."

[–]Prufrax 6 points7 points ago

I heard "Kiiiiiiilllll mmmmeeeeeeeeeeee..."

[–]werdnaman1993 2 points3 points ago

Later...

[–]xaun36 0 points1 point ago

What is this?

[–]werdnaman1993 1 point2 points ago

Team Fortress 2. Meet The Medic to be specific.

[–]Irongrip 0 points1 point ago

The fact that the baboon is mega always gave me a little chuckle.

[–]Bixby66 1 point2 points ago

That's actually similar to the noise they make when they're out of water only more shrill and screamy. Besides that they're delicious.

[–]1_point_21_gigawatts 2 points3 points ago

Maybe they're the ones making this sound.

[–]AryaArgetlam 0 points1 point ago

weeeeeeiiiiiiiirrrrrrd

[–]fumunda 0 points1 point ago

"Thoughts...in chaos...."

[–]tomyownrhythm 9 points10 points ago

Reminds me of these poor, unfortunate souls.

[–]2scoops 2 points3 points ago

Made the same comment, only to see yours. Deleting mine now. :(

[–]tomyownrhythm 2 points3 points ago

aww. great minds...

[–]pixelmeow 0 points1 point ago

They made me cry. Hurray Ariel!

[–]Walterharper 18 points19 points ago

Oh god it's like the fucking souls of the damned are screaming in pain to burn my skin off.

Has anyone here seen a goblin shark? Same effect

[–]kikidiwasabi 2 points3 points ago

Please tell me that's a puppet or something?!?

[–]atleastzero 2 points3 points ago

I can't do that.

[–]Kytescall 1 point2 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh_HUIJkRzU

[–]kikidiwasabi 0 points1 point ago

I'm so glad I live in a place with water so cold they don't want to live here

[–]Minimumtyp 2 points3 points ago

That shark has the weirdest boner right now

[–]pixelmeow -2 points-1 points ago

[–]Neodymium-60 6 points7 points ago

O8

D8

[–]Bigman6693 26 points27 points ago

You guys both look pretty scared of it, but what does the fish look like?

[–]Joke_Getter -4 points-3 points ago

Fucking awful. Delete your account.

[–]Bigman6693 -1 points0 points ago

I don't know who this Fucking_awful guy is but he sounds pretty bad. Maybe you should tell him instead of me.

[–]Joke_Getter 5 points6 points ago

Jesus Christ.

[–]ascua 3 points4 points ago

They remind me of the "dream demons" from Freddy's dead: the final nightmare.

http://imgur.com/cVg7D

[–]kevonicus[S] 3 points4 points ago

Very nice. "Borat's voice"

[–]MisterDonkey 0 points1 point ago

Fuck me, I knew they looked like something I've seen. Thank you.

This is exactly the something I was thinking of.

[–]Bakufun 7 points8 points ago

I'd just be afraid of the immediate explosion that would follow pulling up these sea-creepers.

[–]frickfrock99 2 points3 points ago

My God...

Why do they have giant teardrops for eyes?!

[–]Dark-Kanti 17 points18 points ago

If I'm correct, it's because at the extreme depths they're found at large eyes such as these are necessary to see in the intense darkness. This is also why they have such thin bodies, so they can cope with the extreme pressure.

[–]kevonicus[S] 11 points12 points ago*

"That's the most helpful comment I have ever seen." - George Washington~~~•

[–]Dark-Kanti 4 points5 points ago

Thanks, I used to be really into deep sea stuff circa 5 years ago.

[–]kevonicus[S] 9 points10 points ago

Everyone in 2007 was!

[–]PerthAmboy 2 points3 points ago

I heard that motherfucker had like, thirty goddamn dicks.

[–]fumunda 0 points1 point ago

Nope, that's this fish

[–]medicineboy 3 points4 points ago

If I'm correct, it's because that's all that remains when consuming someone's immortal soul. Tears precipitate out of their meals and accumulate in the empty sockets on the front of their souls. The more souls they consume, the larger these orbs become.

[–]sakanachan 2 points3 points ago

The thin body is actually about low visibility, not pressure extremes. Pressure isn't really an issue, since the fish is basically made of the same stuff it's surrounded with. The highly reflective sides of the fish help it to blend in with the water, and the thin profile presents a very small silhouette to predators below it. Some also have bioluminescent areas on their abdomens to assist with this 'low visibility from below' stealth.

The episode "The Deep" of the Blue Planet series has a really good segment on those aspects of this fish.

[–]Dark-Kanti 0 points1 point ago

TIL to check google before commenting about deep sea creatures.

[–]garbonzobeanage 2 points3 points ago

perfect timing for my computer screen to freeze. fucking christ they're burned into my eyes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

eel looks like it just told a bad joke and the hatchet fish looks like it is in awe.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

He just found out Chex Mix isn't sold undersea anymore

[–]Lucifers_Friend 1 point2 points ago

I can hear them making ghastly noises. "We are the ones that were, and SHALL be again!!!"

[–]aco620 1 point2 points ago

Cracked put it best - "We believe they're called hatchetfish because that's what you'll wish you had in your hand if you saw one."

There's a lot of different kinds of hatchet fish though and most aren't that scary when you get a better look at them.

[–]Quenadian 1 point2 points ago

Why the fuck do they have fucking nostrils???

[–]Hara-Kiri 0 points1 point ago

To look like horrible people faces!

[–]Sanitary_Lumpkin 1 point2 points ago

I hope I never ever catch a hatchetfish

Because then you'd be so deep underwater that you'd have imploded.

[–]delocs 1 point2 points ago

they look so...sad. why?

[–]ShufflinEveryday 1 point2 points ago

What I thought when I saw this.

[–]iceman2663 1 point2 points ago

Nothing a couple trusty pairs of googly eyes can't fix.

[–]SocialProgress 0 points1 point ago

BUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 0 points1 point ago

I'm on reddionic and see the pic.

First thought: click away and never look back.

Phone decides to enlarge it to full screen. I drop my phone and never look back.

[–]Turntablemonkey 0 points1 point ago

2 girls 1 cup:hatchetfish reaction.

[–]hypnonewt 0 points1 point ago

The horrors those poor fish must have seen. You can see it on their face.

[–]bnich 0 points1 point ago

This clearly belongs in NSFL..

[–]arialth 0 points1 point ago

We will sing for you the song of our people!

[–]deivijs 0 points1 point ago

The horrors it's seen would make any human insane.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

They're mostly found between 600 and 4500 ft in the water column and they are only, at most, about six inches long.

[–]unsurebutwilling 0 points1 point ago

BOO! Haha, stupid scary fish...

[–]pixelmeow 0 points1 point ago

WHY DOES IT HAVE NOSTRILS

[–]Schr0dingerr 0 points1 point ago

I screamed.

[–]DOWNVOTEDBITCH 0 points1 point ago

You shouldn't unless you're fishing in a submarine

[–]znk 0 points1 point ago

Proof of evolution.

http://funny-picture.org/wp-content/uploads/funny-orangutans_5506_1.jpg

[–]Xzavi3r 0 points1 point ago

looks like they heard the aristocrats joke for the first time

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I hope they never ever catch me.

[–]dem_onions 0 points1 point ago

It's like the opposite of bad joke eel.

Unnecessarily Dramatic Response Hatchet

[–]Mertag 0 points1 point ago

Why? You want them for yourself, dont you!?

[–]map_backwards 0 points1 point ago

Those are the opposite of Dory.

[–]hatchetswngin 0 points1 point ago

Whoop Whoop ....hold yo hatchets h.....wtf is that???

[–]brymokidwonder 0 points1 point ago

This is clearly the zombie version of dori

[–]ANewAccountCreated 0 points1 point ago

Cut the line. CUT THE LINE!

[–]LymeyBastard 0 points1 point ago

You probably won't ever catch one, seeing how deep they live.

[–]MarshManOriginal 0 points1 point ago

"Kill us..."

[–]InstantAnythingcom 0 points1 point ago

Braaaaiiiinnnnns!

[–]Iustinus_Maximus 0 points1 point ago

calm down dude, they're smaller than the palm of your hand.

[–]alxs21492 0 points1 point ago

They are staring into my soul...

[–]dplong 0 points1 point ago

Look like the guy from Blade Runner.

[–]Dokbokki 0 points1 point ago

kill me....please...kill meeeee...

[–]StencilPrinter 0 points1 point ago

They tried to suck the soul out of my body. Luckily for me there is nothing there.

[–]MagicalFruit 0 points1 point ago

http://airmaskss.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Theatrical-Masks.jpg

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

"Come play with us, Danny."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

this reminds me of that spongebob episode where they all do that weird face thing to sandy to prove that they're better

[–]luke3456 0 points1 point ago

But these exist a couple thousand feet underwater, it would be impossible to ordinarily catch it.

[–]cgunner 0 points1 point ago

creepy little bastards

[–]pics-or-didnt-happen 0 points1 point ago

We're Marley and Marley... WHooooooa!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

derpfish

[–]Rusty-Shackleford -1 points0 points ago

This makes no sense at all but did anyone else think of Laurel and Hardy?

http://www.toonpool.com/user/3706/files/laurel_and_hardy_1147075.jpg

[–]PirateZero 1 point2 points ago

No.

[–]epicyon -2 points-1 points ago

They resemble 'Dori' from Finding Nemo, which means they look retarded.

[–]albertscoot -4 points-3 points ago

I always wondered what the fuck it was that was in the stomach of that shark some douche caught while I was walking by on a pier in California.

[–]Knewtworiddet -1 points0 points ago

They are called hatchetfish because the first people who discovered them had hatchets within their reach, and couldn't kill them before they became mentally scarred.

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