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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]btinc 459 points460 points ago

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I'm 59, and in one more year, I get all the grocery store discounts. Fuck you all.

[–]readzalot1 68 points69 points ago

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56 here. I remember the day I realized the internet would change everything. I got a "Senior's Lunch" last month for the first time.... I like it here, but I avoid the games reddits.

[–]Weird_With_A_Beard 18 points19 points ago

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55 here. I was in a Salvation Army store recently getting blankets for my pet pigs when the guy at the counter asked if I was "of age". I couldn't believe I was being carded and gave him the WTF look. He pointed to the sign behind me that said SENIORS 55 and older got a 50% discount on Mondays. I smiled and showed him my ID.

That was the day I realized I was now considered a SENIOR.

[–]OmegaArcadia 7 points8 points ago

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Congratulations, Señor Weird_with_a_Beard.

[–]timothj 16 points17 points ago

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63, here. I stopped contributing to the sex forum when I realized every one of my posts began "I'm an old guy, but." On the bright side, I get to wear a greek fisherman's hat. It was a cool kid hat when I was a boy, and I didn't feel cool enough. But now it is most def an ol'guy hat, and I qualify!

[–]Dr___Awkward 4 points5 points ago

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But Skyrim.

[–]youtube_gamedagger 1 point2 points ago

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Age matters on the internet????????

[–]cezium1 42 points43 points ago

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im 35 and when you lose your license due to poor vision and dementia, ill happily drive you to the grocery store if you let me use your discount!

[–]SmokeyDBear 5 points6 points ago

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Synergy.

[–]_higgs_ 14 points15 points ago

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Thanks for making me feel like a youngster at 43. Maybe we should take over r/oldfucks?

[–]amisamiamiam 11 points12 points ago

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Get off my lawn.

[–]Ryo95 2 points3 points ago

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kids today... STOP PLAYING SOCCER WITH THAT COLA CAN!

[–]old_po_blu_collar 1 point2 points ago

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44, I think all the subscribers have passed on.

[–]BigBadDawg 8 points9 points ago

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<points cane> I'm with him!!

[–]prose-before-hoes 62 points63 points ago

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AMA request

[–]Iamnotacrackpot 60 points61 points ago

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NO FUCK YOU.

[–]myzenthing 1 point2 points ago

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Ooh, I don't have time for this! I have to buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon, then bring it back to the store and make everyone wait while I complain.

[–]xoites 1 point2 points ago

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55.

[–]freezingprocess 276 points277 points ago

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I'm 38 and sometimes I click on "comments" and end up feeling like I just wandered half naked into a junior high school kid's birthday party with a 6-pack of beer in my hands.

[–][deleted] 131 points132 points ago

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Dad?

[–]darkeyesgirl 2 points3 points ago

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^ This. This is my worst nightmare...

[–]pitvipers70 37 points38 points ago

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42 and bottle of JD.

[–]IAMANiggerBiologist 18 points19 points ago

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64 and a bottle of cognac.

[–]pro7 18 points19 points ago

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99 and a bottle of beer.

[–]staiano 19 points20 points ago

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And a wall?

[–]Wilhelm_Amenbreak 75 points76 points ago

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38-year-olds represent! Fuck Pokemon! Ataris for life!

[–]lunameow 50 points51 points ago

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Another 38 year old here. I laugh when I see things like "Remember back when there was no reddit/facebook/imgur?" Yeah, remember when the "internet" was command-line email and bbs's that we accessed from our college computers?

[–]Scott553 33 points34 points ago

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I remember the first dirty picture I downloaded. It was a bikini-clad girl with big hair and it took a solid 45 minutes... Things changed that day, my friends.

[–]r2tbone 15 points16 points ago

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Colleges had outside lines to dial into, and we'd use our 2400 baud modem, and we LIKED it!

[–]xchino 5 points6 points ago

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And we had sweet protocols like Zmodem, and some applications let you play tetris while you waited 45 minutes to download a heavily compressed jpeg.

[–]XtReMe98 10 points11 points ago

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I honestly don't miss those days... Lol

[–]Golgatem 9 points10 points ago

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I won't lie, I miss BBSes. Those were fun days. Legend of the Red Dragon, anyone?

[–]plki76 5 points6 points ago*

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Nahh, Trade Wars 2002 and BRE were where it was at. LORD got boring after you'd killed the dragon. TW2k2 was intense - every turn counted.

Pimpwars and Food Fight were neat for a quick throwaway games.

There was another one whose name I can't remember. Post-apocalyptic RPG-type game.

Edit: Yes, Operation Overkill! Thank you for that, it was driving me crazy. :-)

[–]DoctorDank 4 points5 points ago*

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You awaken in a dark room. You can't see anything, and feel uncomfortable as if you have been beaten. Your memory is hazy; you remember nothing but bits and pieces of your past, flickering through your mind with little comprehension. To the south is a door, to the east is a table with a book on top of it, to the north is a stool with a candle upon it, giving off a feeble light. To the east is a blank wall with a small crack in it. Action?

Edit: Zork, baby! So, I played these kinds of games a bit on CompuServe when I was younger, and I don't quite remember them very well, so this is my best shot. The most surprising thing to me is, my phone has 'CompuServe' set as an auto correct... Wtf is with THAT!? O_o

[–]human_beans 7 points8 points ago

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It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

[–]SodaNinja 5 points6 points ago

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I'm 35. I missed out on the BBS/Early Internet days because the only computer we had was an old Apple IIE, with the puke green screen... in 1995!!! Then I moved out, and found the Internet in a library on a real computer. My mind was blown. I'd tell you when I first found out there was porn on the Internet, but most of that experience is a blur to me.

[–]Fuck-Pokemon 14 points15 points ago

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Damn right!

[–]tafkat 3 points4 points ago

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^ looks through thread, upvotes other 38-year-olds.

[–]Phrenzy 4 points5 points ago

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If it doesn't have a quarter slot, it's not a real video game.

[–]TrevorBradley 14 points15 points ago

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Screw you old man!

/37 here...

[–]BigBadDawg 5 points6 points ago

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and a bottle of lube....

[–]agentsirus 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 32 and what is this?

[–]mariod505 1 point2 points ago

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My favorite is going into /r/politics. ...those kids have no idea what they're talking about.

[–]dugmartsch 1 point2 points ago

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Coach McGurk style.

[–]aneyefulloffish 34 points35 points ago

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47 here... What is Reddit?

[–]HunterTV 1 point2 points ago

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You're soaking in it!

[–]klsi832 62 points63 points ago

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I'm slightly older than you. Yesterday someone responded to a pornographic Dora the Explorer pic with 'childhood ruined'. WTF, I was like 22 when that show came out.

[–]bloodwrage 16 points17 points ago

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Which begs the question, why did you continue fapping to it?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]guoshuyaoidol 2 points3 points ago

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Yes it is, you're thinking of "begging the question".

\repedant

[–]no_springs 26 points27 points ago

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45 here and I feel like I'm almost fully immersed in the same internet culture as people half my age. What have I done with my life? (Enjoyed the hell out of it, actually. Fuck age.)

[–]Snapperhead 65 points66 points ago

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41 y/o down votes all of you darn kids and your Rick n Roll video songs.

[–]wolf2600 35 points36 points ago

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Right there with you. Damn kids and their 'dubsteps'.

[–]CUoNTour 18 points19 points ago

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Agreed. The only dubs we had when i was a kid came in a plastic bag.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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That reminds me, we used to smoke dimebags in the woods behind the 7-11 back then, and we liked it, goddammit.. We were happy to get those dubs. There were plenty of kids who weren't getting stoned. We didn't have much back then, but we were grateful. Unlike these kids today...

[–]Bitter_Idealist 1 point2 points ago

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45 here and my similarly aged friends are touring with Skrillex.

[–]CyricTheMad 69 points70 points ago

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35 here, and we wore an onion on our belts, which was the fashion at the time!

[–]TapeDeckChris 28 points29 points ago

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Gimme five bee's for a quarter

[–]iWriteYourMusic 16 points17 points ago

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They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

[–]gimpel 1 point2 points ago

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Now, where was I?

[–]kaysea112 30 points31 points ago

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Damn kids NSFW

[–]0311 5 points6 points ago

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Source?

[–]4r10r5 3 points4 points ago

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What Would You Do? With John Quinones

[–]tacoliquor 8 points9 points ago

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Punt Dat Cunt

[–]grahampaige 11 points12 points ago

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dude how do you think I feel, I have 10 years on you

[–]Lydie325 9 points10 points ago

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I have 30 years on him, young man!

[–]grahampaige 6 points7 points ago

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We are the reddit grey army :)

[–]rotaercz 11 points12 points ago

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What sites do 30 year olds and up hang out on?

[–]wolf2600 50 points51 points ago

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lemonparty, mostly.

[–]rez9 3 points4 points ago

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Also to continue on the healthy eating sites try meatspin. Gotta get that bad cholesterol down.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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30 I really don't know. I know a lot of people in their 40s and later hang out on hobby sites, be it guns, aquariums, motorcycles, etc.

What do 30 year olds do...?

[–]untaken-username 14 points15 points ago

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Looking at your username, you might want to avoid websites that appeal to your hobby as they are illegal in most jurisdictions.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Scott553 10 points11 points ago

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I bought a relatively sensible car and put a lot of expensive parts in it to make it secretly fast.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]polished 13 points14 points ago

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I always assumed reddit had older demographics :(

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]memefilter 1 point2 points ago

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Up until last year, it did.

[–]The_Maddog 12 points13 points ago

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[–]bunnygurl 2 points3 points ago

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Ditto on all of that. (Damn kids don't even know where "ditto" came from)

[–]vistarmonei 3 points4 points ago

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Pokémon?

[–]bunnygurl 2 points3 points ago

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no.

[–]Onredditmebeerget 12 points13 points ago

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These gosh darn whipper snappers don't know how good they've got it. Back in my day Reddit was the wall in the bathroom stall at the corner gas station!

[–]philonius 6 points7 points ago

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This is actually true.

[–]Onredditmebeerget 3 points4 points ago

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Sure is. And I would ask my friends did you read what I wrote in "the stall?". They would always say... Reddit.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]zed857 3 points4 points ago

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No - that's Sgt. Shultz talking to Col. Klink.

And yeah, I'm old enough to remember that as a new show on one of the five channels that our TV picked up.

(Shakes cane at screen; mutters about kids on lawn)

[–]vertibird 13 points14 points ago

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46yo. Get the hell off of my lawn...

[–]SoonToHave 9 points10 points ago

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People, you are missing the point-reddit IS the place where 30+ ppl anonymously get together for cloud shouting without fear of saying something stupid

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I feel like cloud-shouting should be the greater adjective used for all internet discussion.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ioxvm 178 points179 points ago

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42 here and don't UNDERSTAND anything pokemon.

[–]HughManatee 142 points143 points ago

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67 here and OH GOD WHERE AM I?!

[–]philonius 38 points39 points ago

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[–]getinthevan 3 points4 points ago

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he has that rare disease that make you old really fast

[–]betterthanthee 14 points15 points ago

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Pawpaw?

[–]BigBadDawg 16 points17 points ago

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Fuck... I feel like Pierce Hawthorn...

[–]SodaNinja 4 points5 points ago

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That's a Pokemon isn't it?

[–]philonius 49 points50 points ago

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43 here, only a vague awareness of what it is. Little animals that fight...I know it's Japanese and a ball is involved somehow. And it's the cartoon that caused seizures. End of knowledge, I think. Wait...Jigglypuff! Ok, that's it.

[–]Poetic-License 16 points17 points ago

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43 here as well and only know it via parenthood, as in springing for DS games. We had our own Japanese thing back in the day.

[–]kubrick66 5 points6 points ago

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38 here, I used to play a lot of Day of Defeat on Jigglypuff's servers, I had no idea what it meant until now.

[–]evilbob 13 points14 points ago

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  1. What the fuck is a pokemon?

[–]John_um 1 point2 points ago

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24 here and even I'm too old for that shit.

[–]starlinguk 1 point2 points ago

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44 here. I do.

[–]ffffffuuuuuuuuu 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 41. I've always called it pokeman.

[–]1369ic 1 point2 points ago

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53 and I understand Pokemon perfectly: it's something my 10-year-old likes. It's part of a whole category of stuff that I imagine I think about the same way other people think about the military: I don't really understand it, but I have to pay for it.

[–]hackiavelli 52 points53 points ago

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I don't downvote it but at the same time I can't help but find it really weird. It would be the equivalent of me and my friends spending our early 20s obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I can't imagine anything further from my mind during that age period (nothing against TMNT, of course).

Also, can we please stop the 'old man'-isms among the late-20s/early-30s crowd before they get any worse? There's something particularly vomit-worthy about a 29-year old waxing nostalgic about being "a '90s kid". Stop it. Just stop it.

[–]6leggedcow 56 points57 points ago

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24 here, I also downvote everything Pokemon.

[–]CartmanVT 49 points50 points ago

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23 here, I used to think clouds were alright, but lately they've been giving me funny looks...

[–]ng607[S] 3 points4 points ago

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"You are most welcome!"

[–]Sukosuti 7 points8 points ago

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I do as well, but I feel we hold some of the blame for not properly introducing them to the awesomeness of Voltron, Thundercats and Fist of the North Star.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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you know, usually i hate systematic downvoters, and people that downvote because they disagree (we all know that's not supposed to be a reason why you downvote).

But CAT'S and POKEMON has to stop. People are making memes of memes complaining about too many cat jokes. And how many times can you make the 4 inside jokes there are about pokemon. you like fucking pokemon, we get it, you have a cute cat we get it. But we have seen your cats, we have watched the pokemon airplane, it's been done, we have seen it, some of us even have t-shirts.

I am with you all the way, automatic downvote pokemon and cats, FTW!

Not because I hate pokemon, not because I have seen every single fucking angle and cutie face there are of cats, I downvote because it has been done and Reddit is saturated with it. If you post another pokemon or cat thing then you are CLEARLY not understanding even the most basic principles of quality control, and you should go check flicker, or omgilovecats.com out, Reddit is not for you.

[–]Dry_Gulch 16 points17 points ago

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My friend made this atheist Zelda cat cake that is too good for Facebook and she is now forever alone after her boyfriend died from cancer. Upvotes?

[–]factotum218 1 point2 points ago

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34 here, nothing shocks me and everyone seems like a "badass over here".

[–]Ghstfce 1 point2 points ago

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31 here. Never played Pokemon. Posted that I don't understand the allure of it. Got several comments explaining how I'm "missing out" on life... Really?

[–]TheBluePanda 9 points10 points ago

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[–]redthat2 6 points7 points ago

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"I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me... and it'll happen to you!"

[–]khanfusion 8 points9 points ago

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You just reminded me that I'm 31. Fuck you.

[–]inaseashell 8 points9 points ago

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31 until Monday. I feel old only when I see/hear someone talking about how they have never seen Star Wars because it was "way before they were born." Also when the radio refers to a late 90s R&B song as a "classic jam." Then I die a little inside.

[–]whalesharkbite 2 points3 points ago

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I heard Alice in Chains on the local classic rock station the other day. ALICE. IN CHAINS. I'm 33 and I teared up. (On the other hand, being in your 30's is awesome for a lot of reasons, in my opinion.)

[–]RichMahogany 6 points7 points ago

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[–]linkstorelevantsongs 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Try being old and a republican on Reddit.

[–]cinnamonandgravy 4 points5 points ago

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1920s-republican or old guy who supports modern republicans?

[–]AndWat 3 points4 points ago

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53... Clouds yell at me.

[–]linkstorelevantsongs 5 points6 points ago

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[–]DyingBreed 3 points4 points ago

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31? You are still wet behind the ears kid!

[–]Andaliter 8 points9 points ago

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Grandpa, did you wander out of your room again? Here, come with me, I'll make sure you get back safely, and no more wandering, okay? I don't want you getting hurt!

[–]LBORBAH 8 points9 points ago

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60 this year the oldest redditor.

[–]philonius 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Askalotl 8 points9 points ago

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[–]philonius 2 points3 points ago

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Ah, reddit. Where lies melt like icecubes on a stove.

[–]baemey 4 points5 points ago

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Hi there, fellow 31-year-old redditor. Umm... yep.

[–]alexoz 4 points5 points ago

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[Pic of tomb goes here] I am 40

[–]NoNotHimAgain 4 points5 points ago

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Dear Whoever, please grant me the wish to be 31 again.

[–]heyitshorse 2 points3 points ago

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dam u old bro. u should get jiggy with it. u need to get in with the trends deez dayz nomsayne. if u wantzta rollz with the teenz u gotza be illiteratedz. dig?

[–]Olivesandfootball 2 points3 points ago

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That hurt to read. I'm also sad I understood it.

[–]EveryTownNeedsa 3 points4 points ago

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As a 45 year old I find you adorable.

[–]finackles 6 points7 points ago

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47 and I can handle it. And I played pokemon yellow on a gameboy advance, my level in Skyrim is higher than my age, I am not a virgin, and my kids have jobs...

[–]human_beans 6 points7 points ago

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Early 40's here. I don't downvote much. Only what sounds like it was written by entitled 19-year-olds on adderall. Well, ok. I've broken my finger from the repetitive stress.

[–]sarahsway 2 points3 points ago

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same here.

[–]peted1884 2 points3 points ago

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feeling like great grampa here -

[–]Wild_Bill_Kickcock 2 points3 points ago

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Don't get me started on r/music

[–]KungFuSnoopy 2 points3 points ago

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Kids these days have no idea what good r/music is.

[–]darahen2004 2 points3 points ago

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dont feel bad im 38

[–]urnbabyurn 2 points3 points ago

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I feel that being 35 gives me a certain level of gravitas.

[–]Andrigaar 2 points3 points ago

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Inching to 31, but this is how I feel on almost all internet forums these days. Just swathes of idealist rugrats screaming their opinions and responding "NOT WHEN I'M YOUR AGE, GRAMPS; IT'LL BE DIFFERENT!"

[–]galileofan 2 points3 points ago

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Hey, you're life clock expired last year. SANDMAN! We've got a runner!

[–]cweaver 2 points3 points ago

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As a 32 year old, I feel like that even older guy that's always sitting next to Abe at the retirement castle.

[–]elocinasile 2 points3 points ago

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32 here. i went to pick up a pizza earlier and saw their digital sign about carding for beer... had be born feb 24 1991 or earlier. 1991! ohmygawd i'm old.

[–]miquonranger03 2 points3 points ago

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How were the fifties?

[–]JimmyHavok 2 points3 points ago

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No one wants to hear your stories, grandpa.

[–]Emperor_Norton_1 2 points3 points ago

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46 here, I'm older and have better insurance....and guns. /stay out of my way and off my lawn.

[–]Asmodeane 2 points3 points ago

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I am 31 as well! And Scandinavian! Goddamn, fists to the sky brother!

[–]rico99 2 points3 points ago

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Don't worry... I'm 64 and have been a redditor for two years. My body could be old, but my mind is as sharp as it was 40 years ago. As for fapping, well... I reserve my opinion. Guilty.

[–]phuxache 2 points3 points ago

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54 here bollox to the lot of ya

[–]jonathanrdt 8 points9 points ago

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[–]wassattack 10 points11 points ago

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Pokemon, pokemon everywhere!

[–]omplatt 8 points9 points ago

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how I feel as a 21 year old on reddit: completely normal

[–]Andrigaar 16 points17 points ago

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GET OFF MY LAWN, STREET URCHIN. And, for god's sake, wipe your hands off before entering someone's internet.

[–]NeoShweaty 4 points5 points ago

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One of the last times this kind of post made its way to reddit and got popular resulted in a whole series of "how I feel as x age on reddit" posts.

I hope that doesn't happen.

[–]Bean888 1 point2 points ago

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Have you edited your sub-reddits?

[–]Intanjible 1 point2 points ago

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Is there even a subreddit for the Generation X age range?

[–]Twerty 1 point2 points ago

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The most disturbing part about this is that I've seen this before, with a virtually identical title... even the old people repost. :<

[–]wharpudding 3 points4 points ago

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We're old, we can't remember shit. We can't help it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uAUHWo7bfTg#t=56s

[–]Hougaiidesu 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, fellow 31 year old here. Do you remember when we had to say 19 dickety 2 because the kaiser stole the word twenty?

[–]superwinner 1 point2 points ago*

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[–]KrustysKomedyKlassic 1 point2 points ago

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33 and i still talk to girls on the interwebs.

[–]Andrigaar 8 points9 points ago

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IM'ing your daughter when she's in school doesn't count.

[–]trampus1 1 point2 points ago

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I'm only 28 but I know that old feel too.

[–]havesometea1 1 point2 points ago

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Oh dear...to be 31 again...

[–]Nod_Narb 1 point2 points ago

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I too am 31.. Upvote!

[–]Gneal1917 1 point2 points ago

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31 year old here. Dat feel.

[–]phantomjm 1 point2 points ago

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36 here - I feel the same way every time I see a post referring to PS1 games as "classic gaming". Damn kids...

[–]lonesoldier4789 1 point2 points ago

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as a 22 year old, fuck your fucking cat

[–]Colorfag 1 point2 points ago

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I dont know, Im 29. Turn 30 this year. I mean yeah I feel older than everyone else, but not to that extent.

[–]leonryan 1 point2 points ago

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back up son, i'm 36

[–]mgpo222 1 point2 points ago

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Huh, someone relatively young in the real world feels old on Reddit and comments about it, I haven't seen that in 3 hours.

[–]99Faces 1 point2 points ago

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[–]darktechkelly 1 point2 points ago

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I turned 32 recently, so I feel your pain +1.

[–]bunneetoo 1 point2 points ago

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52 year old here - and a woman, no less. Have no idea what I am doing here, but can't seem to stay away. Well, except for /r/spacedicks - have no problem staying away from there - you young uns are weird!

[–]_higgs_ 1 point2 points ago

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How I feel as a 43 year old. Unfortunately I'm not joking.

[–]wildinthestreets 1 point2 points ago

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Goddamn kids, with their pokeyballs, and kittehs, and...and such.

http://www.sportsmansdaily.com/thescrum/wp-content/mean-old-man.jpg

[–]saucycraftster 1 point2 points ago

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42.

Female.

[–]ducatination 1 point2 points ago

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try 48

[–]silasbrock 1 point2 points ago

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31? I have floppy disks older than you.

[–]Imtoooldforthis 1 point2 points ago

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I'm "only" 37 and I feel like that every day.

[–]rootsoak 1 point2 points ago

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Yes sir! Yes... sir

[–]Phrea 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 40, and this is the most hilarious thread in the history of reddit.

[–]shinymetalobjects 1 point2 points ago

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46 here. grew up playing "intellivision". i loved the football game, really ahead of its time with strategic playmaking. was also quite the donkey kong player back when it first came out.

[–]psinet 1 point2 points ago

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36 and get off my internets.

[–]idmars10 1 point2 points ago

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44 here and I laugh heartily every time some 'kid' acts like it's not going to happen to them. Fact is: I was sitting on my couch watching the first ever Conan show what seems like 4 blinks of an eye ago. My 15 year old daughter was born just yesterday. Another fact: I am smarter and in better shape than my 24 year old self. I feel better about myself too.

[–]heimdal77 1 point2 points ago

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I think it's official , we need to find who the oldest redditor is with proof.

[–]ColGuano 1 point2 points ago

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46 and LOVE Reddit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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43

[–]cannotlogon 1 point2 points ago

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53 What's "reddit"?

[–]cmotdibbler 1 point2 points ago

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6 year redditor here, couple months from turning 50.

[–]Ryo95 1 point2 points ago

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I'm almost 17. WHY DO I KEEP UPVOTING ALL THIS? I was really born in the wrong decade.

[–]odinn-asgaard 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 52, everyone I work with is around your age (including my boss) and I don't consider any of them old :) Actually, I keep forgetting my age all the time until I remember that I have kids their age.