Oh, man, oh man, SHIT man! I remember this one time I remember this one time where I was like when I was like working in this like, temporarily AWESOME fucking dance club in Austin called The Caucus Club where all these bourgoie people who worked at the state capitol used to come to sip their fuckin' brandy after work and smoke their nasty cigars... well, anyway, it became a dance club right when swing was fading and trance was nascent in the late '90s.

I was running lights. And programming them. And babying them, switching the colors around to make more sense, cleaning them, etc. I was into lights, OK??

Well, anyway, one night this one dude comes in. Cool as shit, awesome black dude who was just getting out of the military and partying in Austin. His friend was there with him, but he did most of the talking... about living in Japan, getting in tight somehow with the Yakuza--he claimed that it was for a selfless favor that they really respected... like, instant cred. Right place at the right time. He said he wasn't involved in any gangster shit. I guess I'll never know, but he seemed totally sincere.

Anyway, his TATS! They did him up priceless. I mean, it was fucking unbelievable!! No shit! UnREAL! Best I've ever, EVER seen! E-V-E-R.

Koi, dragons, maybe a tiger, Buddhist shit, water, maybe vines... I don't know. But, the SHADING! Not only that, the aesthetic sense for each and every line, each and every curve, the proper angle for a handsome snout on a koi... I mean, it was AWESOME. The shading was mostly dots, increasing and decreasing in density as required.

He said it was all done with very, very sharp bamboo, one at a time, each dot a poke, and he said after a while the pain was like nothing before in or since in his life.

The did his ENTIRE FUCKING TORSO. Arms and everything.

He was beaming the whole time. He was utterly, totally convinced that what he had on him was a work of fucking art, and so was everyone else who ever was lucky enough to see it.

Let me put it this way: elderly Japanese gangsters are some wicked fucking tattoo artists.

For the record: I have not a single tattoo, and probably won't after seeing that until I get in tight with the yakuza... which will probably be like, never.

Ever.

sigh