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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Intolerance 2016 points2017 points ago

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IM CUCKOO FOR COCOAPUFFS

[–]MrStuff 277 points278 points ago

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All my upvotes

[–][deleted] 364 points365 points ago

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Literally all one of them.

[–]Zeppelanoid 97 points98 points ago

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Chris Traegar?

[–]donttouchmyfeet 67 points68 points ago

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Ann Perkins! I am literally so happy to see you.

[–]goatnub 32 points33 points ago

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Traegermeister.

[–]thegooddocgonzo 8 points9 points ago

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ANNE PERKINS!

[–]boromeer3 17 points18 points ago

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He's a cockatoo, you ignorant swine.

[–]grantly0711 3 points4 points ago

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No, that's a chocklatoo, jackass.

[–]tubbstosterone 1 point2 points ago

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I keep pushing upvote but, sadly, I can't give you anymore upvotes. I thought I was gonna have a seizure when I read that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm cockatoo for cocopuffs.

[–]Spudly2319 1 point2 points ago

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Holy crap, I laughed so hard milk came out of my nose, and I'm not even drinking milk.

[–]colourofawesome 1158 points1159 points ago

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Dies.

Worth it.

[–]theElegantWorm 207 points208 points ago

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probably the best suicide ive ever heard of.

[–]BoomHedshot 109 points110 points ago

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Death by deliciousness.

[–]jemloq 29 points30 points ago

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such sweet sorrow!

[–]TheFluxCapacitor 448 points449 points ago

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dm;hc

[–]I_Think_Alot 124 points125 points ago

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drog mammit; hrrrrgl cgfgregf

[–]hautey 313 points314 points ago

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Doesn't matter: happy cockatoo

[–]DirtychrisT 143 points144 points ago

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Chocotoo*

[–]Strike3 82 points83 points ago*

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Doesn't Matter;Had Chocolate?

Edit: No shit it's Had Chocolate. Can't take a joke huh.

[–]ffsnametaken 207 points208 points ago

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And you're out

[–]ENKC 28 points29 points ago

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That's the joke.

[–]LiquidAlb 17 points18 points ago

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Correct.

[–]mathangis 70 points71 points ago

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death by chocolate

[–]Iyralis 21 points22 points ago

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You made me burst into tears from laughing so hard. This made my day.

[–]H4voC 337 points338 points ago

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Not sure if drowning.

[–]SpikeKintarin 211 points212 points ago

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Or having a mouthgasm...

[–]deilax 44 points45 points ago

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Why can't we have both?

[–]kyrodes 53 points54 points ago

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because it have a beak. this is a beakgasm

[–]FamilyToad 2 points3 points ago

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Human have mouth, mean mouthgasm?

[–]Magzter 11 points12 points ago

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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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¿Por qué no los dos?

[–]wishfulendeavors13 6 points7 points ago

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Yes.

[–]adouchebag 1 point2 points ago

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He's being frozen in Choclonite!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Z3F[S] 226 points227 points ago

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:)

[–]redlightnetherlands 63 points64 points ago

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Did you take these? If so, please tell us the story here. I would love to hear the bird's side of this, if that could be arranged.

[–]takoma 84 points85 points ago

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It's from Adam Sandler's Jack & Jill.

[–]Robert_Denby 796 points797 points ago

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So this is the first anyone has seen of it then.

[–]Johnny_Blaze 46 points47 points ago

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count it!

[–]quickhorn 7 points8 points ago

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I knew I'd catch you some day. Not so elusive now are you?!

[–]cheebnrun 157 points158 points ago*

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video

Edit: The video may will ruin it for you. I'm really sorry

[–]seniorsassycat 137 points138 points ago

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a billion times worse.

[–]bythog[!] 110 points111 points ago

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I don't know if I should upvote you for providing the video or downvote you and hate you for enabling me to actually see that pile of trash clip.

[–]cheebnrun 40 points41 points ago

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haha, I mean there are worse ways to waste 8 seconds of your life. I'm the one that uploaded it. I should blow my brains out.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]neoice 50 points51 points ago

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I'm not going to tell my wife... she's still laughing. ignorance is bliss.

[–]buntH0LE 25 points26 points ago

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why did I have to read the comments?

[–]amezbro 32 points33 points ago

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Son of a bitch. I laughed so hard at the pics. Now I hate myself knowing where it came from.

[–]CookieTop 28 points29 points ago

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Thanks for the video, but holy crap that was bad. Adam Sandler's voice and the dubbed over cockatoo just makes it not funny.

[–]brindle891 26 points27 points ago

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It saddens me to know that this didn't really happen now =(

[–]Haughington 10 points11 points ago

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This makes it so much less funny to me :(

[–]apaq11 10 points11 points ago

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I upvoted you for providing the video and I won't shoot the messenger, but I stopped laughing and died a little inside after watching it... :*(

[–]star_quarterback 7 points8 points ago

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awwww i thought it was real. pic is 1000 times less funny now.

[–]star_witness 3 points4 points ago

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It's amazing how much less funny the video is than the caps.

I was all "there's a video of this? I hope it's hilariously tragic."

Nope.

[–]ShamefulCrane 1 point2 points ago

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AMA request

[–]toolatealreadyfapped 15 points16 points ago

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AMA request

[–]kanfayo 24 points25 points ago

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for the bird.

[–]Chiddaling 46 points47 points ago

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"IAmA Bird. AMA."

[–]M0rbs 36 points37 points ago

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Replies to every question with "who's a pretty boy then".

[–]binarypower 22 points23 points ago

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Hello, this is bird

[–]ENKC 6 points7 points ago

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Does Polly really want a cracker? Wee-hoo.

[–]raging_asshole 58 points59 points ago

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Would the bird be okay after that? Isn't there a pretty decent risk of it drowning/choking in there?

[–][deleted] 173 points174 points ago

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I've decided how I want to die. Naked, ecstatic, and literally drowning in chocolate.

[–]killerwhaleMD 100 points101 points ago

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that can........be arranged

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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I can provide the naked and ecstatic; in fact I already am one of those. If you just find me a human-sized chocolate fountain, we're good.

[–]killerwhaleMD 21 points22 points ago

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we now have a goal. My life will be dedicated to finding a human-sized fountain of which to rain chocolate on your body.

[–]KennyLoggnsDngrZone 39 points40 points ago

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Did someone mention chocolate rain?

[–]thekilljoy 5 points6 points ago

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I heard chocolate rain?

I'll just show myself out now.

[–]plazmatyk 2 points3 points ago

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Sweet Jesus, what have you done!? I'd vowed to never watch a second of that show and you shattered my vows. ...I stood no chance.

[–]toolatealreadyfapped 45 points46 points ago

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[–]ridger5 2 points3 points ago

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I read yonicay's reply and those were the first words that popped into my mind.

[–]yonicay 21 points22 points ago

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hedonism. I like that.

[–]ThatDerpingGuy 2 points3 points ago

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[–]klaeljanus 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]a_park_bench 11 points12 points ago

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Just so you're not kept worrying, this bird is actually CGI

[–]darkwavechick 9 points10 points ago

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I love the frame right before that. And the frame where he/she sticks half its face in the chocolate.

[–]MisterWonka 2 points3 points ago

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Actually, it's fake, so no birds were harmed!

[–]flyleaf2424 49 points50 points ago

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DOESN'T MATTER; HAD CHOCOLATE

[–]Attycakes 2 points3 points ago

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Chocolate is poisonous to birds. So realistically... no. :(

[–]SandRider 23 points24 points ago

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No. Chocolate can and does kill birds. I don't know the background info on this set of pictures but the bird owner is fucking irresponsible for letting their parrot anywhere near a goddamn fountain of chocolate.

[–]Gyfted 30 points31 points ago

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From what I read in another comment it's a fake bird from the movie "Jack and Jill".

[–]douglasr007 4 points5 points ago

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Chocolate is toxic for parrots.

[–]ErroneousBee 5 points6 points ago

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Even CGI ones?

[–]douglasr007 2 points3 points ago

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As a African Grey owner, this picture is making me worry.

[–]vitrael 8 points9 points ago

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Same. I had an umbrella cockatoo for ten years and this is what she thought of coffee. I fucking died laughing.

[–]1234blahblahblah 1 point2 points ago

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In Beverly Hills?

[–]birdisthewird 1 point2 points ago

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I have a bird as well, and I'm not trying to be a buzzkill because it's funny, but aren't birds allergic to chocolate?

[–]Neil_young_freak 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, I raised a cockatoo once, and my stomach hurts from watching this 'cause I could imagine him dying after this. I'm sad now.

Edit: now I see that it's CGI - and am happy once more.

[–]torontoitguy 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, death tends to be hilarious ;]

[–]speedofdark8 452 points453 points ago

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This kills the bird

[–]isolationismcom 145 points146 points ago

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Death by chocolate, literally.

[–]hello_you 52 points53 points ago

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Not a bad way to go, if ya ask me.

[–]bubbaholy 68 points69 points ago

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Tell that to my childhood dog. I snuck a bag of chocolate chips into my room at night, and ate like 1/3 of the bag. Little 12 pound dog ate the rest, died of pneumonia complications from the poisoning. Still hurts man. :'(

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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Awwww.

[–]lawnmowerkitties 11 points12 points ago

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No way you could have known the dog would have eaten them.

[–]bythog[!] 7 points8 points ago

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For most dogs if chocolate is present and within reach they will eat it. I'm a vet tech. It happens all the time.

[–]Cygnus_X1 15 points16 points ago

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Second best death to death by snoo snoo

[–]SandRider 6 points7 points ago

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[–]SpecterXs 8 points9 points ago

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Can you die of chocolate figuratively?

[–]MyNameCouldntBeAsLon 16 points17 points ago

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If precious sits on you...

[–]reeft 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, sweet death.

[–]TheBailiff 1 point2 points ago

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The bird then becomes trapped in the sticky chocolate, which, after thousands of years, fossilizes the bird and it can be studied by future generations.

[–]RAAM_n_Noodles 374 points375 points ago

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So that's how they make those Dove Chocolate Bars...

[–]caternet 1 point2 points ago

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I've tried those, but honestly they don't fly with me.

[–]vetmode 1 point2 points ago

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They taste like soap to me.

[–]Ravuno 111 points112 points ago

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[–]tubbstosterone 11 points12 points ago

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This needs to become a thing. right now.

[–]tofin8r 160 points161 points ago

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How has nobody made the chocotiel joke yet?

[–]axolotlkips 58 points59 points ago*

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I think that's a sulphur cockatoo, although the last panel does look a lot like a cockatiel.

Cockatiels generally look like painted-up whores, and are not only smaller than cockatoos but their crests are shaped differently/much thinner. Chocotiels are also caramel filled, while Chocotoos primarily contain toffee.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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Cockatiels generally look like painted-up whores.

You know I never thought about it this way but it does explain a lot about my old cockatiel.

[–]sculptedpixels 14 points15 points ago

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Slutty?

Would you say she gave good beak? Eh? Eh?

[–]curvy_lady_92 9 points10 points ago

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As a cockatiel owner and a chocotiel consumer, I approve.

I actually have a cockatiel, by the way. His name is JoJo, he whistles the car horn from Duke's of Hazard, says "JoJo, Mama's Boy", calls for cats (Here, Kitty Kitty Kitty), dances to my singing and oldies music, and he does, in fact, look like a painted up whore.

[–]nikniuq 2 points3 points ago

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Whereas the long billed corella looks like that crazy old aunt who insists on discussing her bowel movements at length with you at the family reunion. I don't own one but you see them sometimes around here.

[–]NgrySqrrl 1 point2 points ago

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that last line elicited a serious bout of laughter out of me. and also made me really hungry for some chocolate birds.

[–]JesterAzazel 5 points6 points ago

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I love you.

[–]adaminc 1 point2 points ago

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Cocoatiel, or Cocoatoo would be better.

[–]OilySalmon 107 points108 points ago

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Did... did it died?

[–]Im-postle-able 52 points53 points ago

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Apparently it's a scene from Jack and Jill.

Taken from the PAWSCAR website

Best Use of Technology — In Jack And Jill a cockatoo named Poopsie finds himself in a chocolate fountain, sipping a Jack Daniels and flying against a gale-force wind. Now if co-stars Adam Sandler and Robert DeNiro want a glass of whiskey or take a swim in chocolate that's up to them, but green screens, computer-generated imaging and a fake bird filled in for the real Poopsie in those situations. American Humane Association can safely say that Poopsie was the most entertaining bird of 2011.

[–]BelugaTaquito 10 points11 points ago

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Phew.

[–]kegman83 1 point2 points ago

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That explains why no ones ever seen this before. It was in Jack and Jill.

[–]TheFluxCapacitor 104 points105 points ago

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It's not dead. It's resting.

[–]Lotice 80 points81 points ago

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It's pining for the fjords.

[–]spitfire8125 14 points15 points ago

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Pining for the fjords!? What kind of talk is that?

[–]kadaan 24 points25 points ago

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THIS PARROT IS NO MORE! IT HAS CEASED TO BE! BEREFT OF LIFE, IT RESTS IN PEACE! THIS. IS. AN. EX-PARROT!

[–]blueboybob 138 points139 points ago*

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35 comments and no one mentions the movie name... man that movie is bad.

From "Jack and Jill" with Adam Sandler... yeah I've seen it. I've seen 13,000+ movies. I have to watch everything in a theatre.

[–]Propolandante 207 points208 points ago

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Wait... this is from Jack And Jill? I just laughed at something from Jack And Jill?

takes shower

[–]Twyll 27 points28 points ago

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I know, right? I feel so unclean...

[–]totallywontstabyou 7 points8 points ago

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Don't worry, if you see the actual video, it's not funny at all.

[–]chollenb 102 points103 points ago

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Because no one went and saw it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ChiperSoft 18 points19 points ago*

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I like this one:

I couldn't believe that someone attached to the movie (like the producer or director) would let this get through.

That's because the person who wrote it, directed it, and produced it was in front of the camera. Sandler has become George Lucas, he has so much involvement in the film that there is literally nobody else who can tell him "NO! THAT IS A BAD IDEA."

edit: I was wrong, Sandler didn't direct it, Dennis Dugan did, but Dugan hasn't directed a non-Sandler funded film since 1992

[–]BBS- 18 points19 points ago

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When the bird is seen in a chocolate fountain, this was a fake bird (a real bird was only used for the first part of the scene when Poopsie approaches the fountain, which was a prop).

Source

[–]myrmecophilous 34 points35 points ago

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You're a bad person for seeing that movie.

[–]blueboybob 15 points16 points ago

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I know

[–]FACEMEBRO 5 points6 points ago

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Worst movie of the year. The end of modern comedy. Horrid. I didn't even watch it til I saw this part, I walked out. Adam Sandler owes me a fucking refund.

[–]Tattered 156 points157 points ago

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[–]doesntgetreddit 150 points151 points ago

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HAHAHAHA!

Wait. Oh, it's...

Yes, I see...

Now I'm sad.

[–]AetherThought 61 points62 points ago

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It's actually... Yes... It's killing the bird... Haha... Ha...

[–]agile52 23 points24 points ago

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oh you

[–]FrostOX9 22 points23 points ago

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Did you say chocolate?

[–]The_Beast_Man 38 points39 points ago

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[–]ShakyBonez 12 points13 points ago

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yes, CHOCOLATE!!! indeed.

[–]krenzo 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Atomskie 34 points35 points ago

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I laughed, and then I became legitimately concerned about the cockatoos well being. I also think a chihuahua licking it clean would have been funny, but you can't win em all I guess.

[–]AetherThought 10 points11 points ago

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The dog would probably get very sick from the chocolate as well...

[–]BangItUpLainey 2 points3 points ago

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And then the dog would seizure, providing even more hilarity! And then maybe an old lady who owns the dog-

[–]esdafable 15 points16 points ago

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It's like if Han Solo was a Cockatoo and frozen in chocolate instead of carbonite.

[–]decoy26517 12 points13 points ago

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What is this from?

[–]cannotremembermyname 16 points17 points ago

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And where is the video?

[–]cheebnrun 9 points10 points ago

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[–]withateethuh 9 points10 points ago

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I'm so upset now.

[–]scrappster 4 points5 points ago

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holy fuck, the pic was so hilarious and yet good lord wtf did I just watch...

Thank you for uploading, kind cheeb.

[–]theElegantWorm 8 points9 points ago

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jack and jill. no joke.

[–]Lokikong 2 points3 points ago

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Apparently Jack and Jill

[–]esdafable 15 points16 points ago

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This picture is like the cure for depression. Thank you so much for sharing it, it brought a much needed smile to my face.

[–]SarahBeara231 14 points15 points ago

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Dear bird, you're allergic to chocolate...

[–]crossower 12 points13 points ago

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More like poison, but yes, you're right in a way.

[–]Takasheen 17 points18 points ago

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this kills the cockatoo

[–]TheGreyhound 10 points11 points ago

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"Dead bird" Do not eat

[–]Bigmasterofgod 9 points10 points ago

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Well, I don't know what he expected.

[–]ShakyBonez 5 points6 points ago

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You didn't eat that, did you? I only have six days to return it...

[–]GarageCow 6 points7 points ago

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Augustus nooo! the chocolate cannot be touched by humans

[–]Askrat 2 points3 points ago

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Is that bird gonna be ok? Isn't melted chocolate pretty hot? Is that bird drowning?

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO ENJOY THIS PICTURE OR NOT.

[–]bobrossisgod 10 points11 points ago

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Its a chocobo

[–]Quizzelbuck 5 points6 points ago

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Jesus. I hope no one else wanted chocolate

[–]SmokeNLark 9 points10 points ago

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That bird is either dead or had some terrible and expensive treatment. Chocolate is HIGHLY toxic to birds.

Don't ever give birds chocolate!!!

[–]FattyMcPatty 4 points5 points ago

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Or it's CGI from jack and jill and you shouldn't worry

[–]senseless2 6 points7 points ago

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They got chocolate all over my cockatiel

[–]whatisgoingonhere73 7 points8 points ago

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you got cockatiel all over my chocolate

[–]captaincupcake234 4 points5 points ago

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Death by chocolate...

anyway...hate to be a party pooper....but this website discusses various digital special effects used in movies, one of them from a scene in Jack & Jill where these screencaps of this bird bathing in chocolate were taken:

http://www.fxguide.com/featured/more-incredible-invisible-effects/

[–]PalermoJohn 3 points4 points ago

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Actually you made my night. I was gonna be all pissed about idiot animal owners and how they are asscunts.

[–]Dorigard 7 points8 points ago

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According to this manufacturer's website, the ideal temperature for chocolate fountains is anywhere from 125-150.

You truly knew how to live Chocotiel.

[–]LadyDap 2 points3 points ago

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As a bird mommy, knowing it is a CGI bird means I can cackle hysterically without the guilt.

[–]tf2fan 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck you. I'm in the bathroom at work reading this on my phone. I burst out laughing. Now people in the other stalls are wondering what the hell is going on in here...

[–]oldcatfish 2 points3 points ago

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that last picture made me lose my shit

[–]MilwMonstr 3 points4 points ago

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[–]Coprophobia 3 points4 points ago

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Ok it doesn't happen very often when looking at pictures but I literally laughed out loud for a good 30 seconds. Very good.

[–]cyberslick188 1 point2 points ago

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This is easily the single funniest image I've ever seen.

[–]didshereallysaythat 1 point2 points ago

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And the White Parrot became a GOD the GOD OF CHOCOLATE

[–]rowech 1 point2 points ago

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Makes it easy for Ozzy

[–]tsunamibird 1 point2 points ago

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lost in on that last panel

[–]Smokeythewolf 1 point2 points ago

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This kills the bird.

[–]malconsidine 1 point2 points ago

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This is sad, and gross, and then sad again.

[–]motorstorm 1 point2 points ago

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oh my gosh. the bottom pic made me laugh for like 5 minutes solid

[–]Raneados 1 point2 points ago

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oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

I am laughing so hard I am crying

last frame seals the deal oh my god

[–]f03vral0n3 1 point2 points ago

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mmmm, chocolate shower. sounds delicious.

[–]Arksis 1 point2 points ago

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I haven't laughed this hard in a while

[–]FattyMcPatty 1 point2 points ago

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Saw this on tumblr. Jesus christ this one girl got so fucking mad. It was hilarious. Something about cumsluts and owning 7 birds, and them never taking baths.

[–]imapeoplepanda 1 point2 points ago

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[–]HotoriBongzo 1 point2 points ago

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CHOCATOO

[–]TyrantWave 1 point2 points ago

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[–]rianoux 1 point2 points ago

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oh god i had a horrible day and i can't stop laughing at this.

[–]sandeskie 1 point2 points ago

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the bird is like Augustus Gloop from Willy Wonka

[–]hypnobytch 1 point2 points ago

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It's a Chocotoo!

[–]comeatmebrah45 1 point2 points ago

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chocolategasm

[–]MadeForManics 1 point2 points ago

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SO LET ME GETS THIS STRAIGHT REDDIT... This is in no way considered animal abuse? Can birds have chocolate? Is this bird even alive after all that?

[–]moldy_walrus 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't even notice the bird until the third panel.