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all 101 comments

[–]LazerChicklets 37 points38 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Dstanding 6 points7 points ago

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First animal I've ever seen with built-in crumple zones.

[–]Razzok 10 points11 points ago

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An elaboration of that gif. Also, I'm pretty sure its a manatee. Those bastards suck. I mean seriously, all they are supposed to do in nature is eat and shit. COME ON.

[–]lionheartednyhc 50 points51 points ago

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TIL I'm a manatee.

[–]poompt 5 points6 points ago

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I aspire to one day be have life as well-figured-out as a manatee.

[–]Goodlefeed 2 points3 points ago

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Also, as well-figured as a manatee.

[–]Blaueziege 4 points5 points ago

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[–]Goodlefeed -4 points-3 points ago*

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EDIT: Due to downvotes, the following link is NSFL, I apologize

Almost didn't click that. I feared this

[–]hansomreiste 1 point2 points ago

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Holy shit, the chub rub...

[–]jesamdeco 0 points1 point ago

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[–]DeFex 7 points8 points ago

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Don't forget the family guy episodes they write for us.

[–]Chaworth 4 points5 points ago

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Came here to post that. I laugh every time. He has a marshmallow face.

[–]Intolerance 5 points6 points ago

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Yea but they're SO FUCKING ADORABLE! And I may be straight but I'd go gay for a manatee

[–]Drawtaru -1 points0 points ago

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Eat and shit SLOWLY.

FTFY.

[–]qounqer -1 points0 points ago

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don't forget fucking

[–]woofa_q 1 point2 points ago

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They have huge tallywhackers. Like top 5 in the animal kingdom huge.

[–]EatSleepJeep -1 points0 points ago

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STFU. When I win/make my billions I'm buying 12 manatees. Bitches love manatees.

[–]LostAbbott -3 points-2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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he's talking about the gif

[–]rollcage 1 point2 points ago

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Damnit.

You beat everyone to it.

[–]Mr_French_Tickler 31 points32 points ago

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FOOMP

[–]symbioticintheory 10 points11 points ago

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BY WHALE

[–]MissQuerade 1 point2 points ago

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This is the sound that occurred in my brain when I looked at the second picture :)

[–]Kourin 0 points1 point ago

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POMF =3

[–]Sharradan 80 points81 points ago

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Here is the original. Not that anybody cares.

[–]Snufflesaur 32 points33 points ago

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I, for one, care and I'm here to support you unconditionally.

[–]ked21 12 points13 points ago

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Me, three. We're here for you buddy.

[–]allapologies0222 6 points7 points ago

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Does anybody have the "Identifying Weed" version?

[–]Ahnza 2 points3 points ago

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I hope it features Snoop Dog.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ahnza 2 points3 points ago

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You are my hero

[–]blutausbeherit 6 points7 points ago

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I'm in forestry at my university, and we seriously used this as our textbook in our wood ID and products class. Seriously.

[–]asiik 1 point2 points ago

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i hope you saw the picture before you knew you'd use it

[–]blutausbeherit 4 points5 points ago

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I actually did, and then when I got the book it was used and didn't have the paper cover on it, and it took me a while to realize what I was looking at hahaha

[–]EatSleepJeep 2 points3 points ago

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Not so good at the identifying, are ya?

[–]blutausbeherit 2 points3 points ago

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dammit! haha yeah the name didn't immediately strike me until I googled it haha

[–]htr123 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously?

[–]blutausbeherit 0 points1 point ago

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srsly.

[–]wolfsweatshirt 0 points1 point ago

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I came here for R. Bruce Hoadley. Always makes me laugh, thank you.

Edit: He's just so sincere about identifying wood! He loves to do it! And he's married! Lucky lady...

[–]tehrealjames 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why, but this picture cracks me up more than any other.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Not that anybody cares.

I don't really see why anyone would.

[–]gct 21 points22 points ago

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it's funny because it's probably actually plastic

[–]eolson3 11 points12 points ago

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Transparent aluminum?

[–]CommentStories 6 points7 points ago

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"Transparent aluminium?" the scientist asked, looking unbelievably at the thin yet strong layer of metal.

"It would appear to be the case, yet there seems to be some kind of device that blocks us from perceiving it," another responded. "No, not technically transparent. Invisible would more likely be the term applied to the situation."

"You're suggesting that this is some kind of cloaked object?" the first replied. "Honestly, Hal, you are honestly an idealist. If this is some kind of cloaked spaceship, then we should be able to find a hatch somewhere on this machine."

As he said this, a single hatch opened, revealing the intricate inside of the pod, which appeared to be some kind of emergency escape pod. No body lived inside the pod, yet silver dust rose from the pod and snaked around the two scientists, examining them. It seemed to have gathered all the data it need, as the dust began to form the shape of a human being.

[–]Magicaltrevorman 0 points1 point ago

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Please write some more of this, it's great!

[–]TimeTravelNarrator 1 point2 points ago

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" exclaimed the dust as its mouth finished solidifying.

The assembled scientists looked around at each other, slightly confused. "Write some more what?" asked the youngest.

The response seemed to please the dustman greatly. As he became more and more corporeal, a lab coat like the scientists' began to appear on him. "Oh, shit! Jim, is this thing interactive?"

One of the scientists, James, grew wide-eyed, and he pointed at himself quizzically, but the form, whose eyes were now clearly visible, was looking behind him. There was a silent pause.

"Wait, you mean this is for real time travel? Dude, that shit is SO illegal. How'd you get past the wall?" Another pause. "Shit, it FLEW there? That must've taken forever...oh, right." Another pause. "TWENTY first century? Oh man, bra, that is classic. I'm gonna totally make them give me the lost works of Stephanie Meyer! I'll be famous, bro!"

The senior-most scientist composed himself and stepped forwards and cleared his throat and addressed the rather conventionally opaque chrononaut before him.

"Greetings, sir. I am Professor George Foucault. Welcome to, ah, the first century."

The traveler broadly grinned. "Howdy, past dude!"

[–]Ryuubu 4 points5 points ago

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I'm glad you said this.

[–]AduroNox 1 point2 points ago

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Creating a single aluminum crystal that big would be one helluva task...

[–]cynoclast 7 points8 points ago

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Came here to say this.

385,000 gallon salt water tank, plastic walls.

[–]qounqer 6 points7 points ago

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i fucking love whales

[–]betterthanthee 2 points3 points ago

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i love fucking whales

[–]JDLJDL 0 points1 point ago

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whales love fucking i

[–]ThreeBelugas 0 points1 point ago

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More specifically a Beluga whale.

[–]NotARandomNumber 6 points7 points ago

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And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and clear, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Gla', 'Gas', , 'Glass'! That's it! Glass! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Glass! FOOMP

[–]chudez 4 points5 points ago

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Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias was "Oh no, not again"

[–]xcforlife 10 points11 points ago

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[–]ChromaticRED 0 points1 point ago

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Do this again, except the original title and the fap guy, sans faps.

[–]skyfishie 3 points4 points ago

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I thought I was going to see a whale holding a picket sign. :C

[–]makeitupasigo 2 points3 points ago

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I can't see a beluga whale without thinking of this.

[–]betterthanthee 2 points3 points ago

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HELLO, THIS IS WHALE

[–]I_Flip_Whales 2 points3 points ago

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(╯°□°)╯ ︵ .¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯.

[–]Osiris32 2 points3 points ago

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Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea

Swim so wild and you swim so free

Heaven above and the sea below

And a little white whale on the go

[–]kuchi_kopi 0 points1 point ago

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Hah, that's what it made me think of too, so I looked up the video... and now I'm gonna be watching Raffi videos all night.

[–]wootitsbobby 5 points6 points ago

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Whale whale whale... what do we have here?

[–]FatKid4Sale757 1 point2 points ago

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its how i operate sometimes... -yep, that shit was hot!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm calling bullshit. It is clearly a force field.

[–]espenaskelad 1 point2 points ago

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it's the simple things.

[–]f1rstperson 1 point2 points ago

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This picture beluga my mind!

[–]Euphorial0 1 point2 points ago

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This is magnificent.

[–]Strug-ga-ling 1 point2 points ago

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This method of detecting glass is not as effective as the one used by the docile Southern Right Whale, who have been known to probe for invisible glass walls with their 9 ft. penises.

[–]fredtheotherfish 1 point2 points ago

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If that was a real book, and I saw it on the shelf, I would buy it.

[–]IPlayTheGuitar 1 point2 points ago

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'by Whale' got me good.

[–]wearywarrior 1 point2 points ago

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Is that a whale? I think it's a porpoise of some denomination. I NEED TO KNOW.

[–]MissQuerade 2 points3 points ago*

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Its a beluga whale :3 they're rather small, but larger than a dolphin! (edited)

[–]fab11 0 points1 point ago

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This is monumental! Now, we know that there was glass in that picture.

[–]JamesLLL 0 points1 point ago

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Does glass or plastic mess with a captive whale or dolphin's ecolocation? And if their sound waves travel through those, does the change in density (from water to air) fuck them up even more?

[–]mokacoffay 0 points1 point ago

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[–]occasionally_horny 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, I'm drunk and watching Nature.This is hilarious.

[–]Scottzkee 0 points1 point ago

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Is it bad that I thought of the steve jobs action figure?

[–]munoodle 0 points1 point ago

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YES THIS IS WHALE

[–]Rswany 0 points1 point ago

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Are you drunk again?

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

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It could be transparent aluminum.

[–]HeresABookForYou 0 points1 point ago

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[–]on_the_redpill 0 points1 point ago

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scumbag whale comes to conclusions with a sample size of one

[–]munky9001 0 points1 point ago

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It could be transparent aluminium.

[–]LightningRider -1 points0 points ago

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That's Morgan Freeman as a barber, what would you expect ?

[–]SleazySteve -2 points-1 points ago

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Except that's a manatee.

[–]destrucci 3 points4 points ago

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beluga whale

[–]SleazySteve 1 point2 points ago

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I stand corrected.

[–]rjp0008 0 points1 point ago

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Manatees don't have melons.

[–]mixologist4247 -2 points-1 points ago

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Pretty sure that's a manatee

[–]Lt_Shniz -3 points-2 points ago

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Artist

Source of photo

This was probably used without permission

[–]thatonemotherfucker -1 points0 points ago

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This kind of makes me sad. :(