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top 200 commentsshow all 281

[–]potently-potable 69 points70 points ago

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The universe according to Philadelphia Flyers goalie Ilya Bryzgalov

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points ago

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[–]tloftxj 8 points9 points ago

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That is hilarious and truly pains me all at once.

[–]we_love_dassie 1 point2 points ago

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Oh sure let's all jab at man from foreign land! Haha is funny!

[–]tloftxj 37 points38 points ago

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As a Flyers fan, Bryzgalov needs to stop thinking about the paradoxes of the universe and start thinking about stopping the damn puck in shoot-outs!

[–]A_WILD_ABRA_APPEARED 41 points42 points ago

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It's like the net is HUMAANGOUS BEEG and he is just a tiny speck.

[–]charcoalchicken 1 point2 points ago

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Why you heff to be mad?

[–]truebeans 11 points12 points ago

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"The Solar System: So humAAAngous big"

[–]ENTP 14 points15 points ago

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I think that was quite inspiring. I'm a humangous big fan of his!

[–]complex-variable 4 points5 points ago

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I'm humaangus heppy to see an athlete being so philosophical.

[–]omgimsuchadork 0 points1 point ago

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"Humongous big" breaks me every time.

[–]marker20 83 points84 points ago

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"You want it to be one way." -Marlo

[–]mo0k 23 points24 points ago

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but it's the other way

[–]be81827 0 points1 point ago

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Marlo gets glorified but he was a fuckin pussy. Avon was the real deal.

[–]_Noise 0 points1 point ago

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[–]I_Am_Indifferent 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed.

[–]mo0k 0 points1 point ago

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I thought he was pretty cool, until he showed up in Heroes as the lame "fear powered" supervillian.

[–]Neoko 98 points99 points ago

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"It'sa me!" - Mario

[–]Legoandsprit 15 points16 points ago

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"Let'sa go!"

[–]pipian 9 points10 points ago

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MAMA MIA!

[–]BoonTobias 3 points4 points ago

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Hoooorie hooo

[–]KilgoreBabelfish 4 points5 points ago

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HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO

[–]booooooooooooosh 3 points4 points ago

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THATS A SPICY MEAT A BALL!

[–]Only_You_Should_Know 0 points1 point ago

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MAMA MIA!

[–]iceaje 0 points1 point ago

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WOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHAAAWWWWW

[–]I_Am_Indifferent 0 points1 point ago

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WOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHAAAWWWWWATERLOO!

[–]srikanthb23 4 points5 points ago

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ta na ta ta na ta dum

[–]hubilation 6 points7 points ago

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I don't know if it's always been like this and I just never noticed, but ever since I started watching The Wire, I've been seeing way more references to it on Reddit.

Just finished the third season!

[–]Hoobleton 2 points3 points ago

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Oh man, I wish I could be about to watch the fourth season again with no recollection of it. The first season will always be my favourite, but the fourth comes a close second.

[–]hubilation 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome. I think the third was my favorite so far, followed closely by the first, and then the second. My roommate started watching with me and then pulled ahead and just finished season 5. He said 4 was great but a little slow.

[–]lndeed 2 points3 points ago

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I would like to point out that Season 4 is, according to Metacritic, the highest rated individual season of any show of all time.

source: http://www.metacritic.com/tv/the-wire/season-4

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I thought 4 was slow too. Season One was my favorite, but I liked the later Seasons as well. Kinda surprised Season Four is rated so highly.

[–]vegeneric 4 points5 points ago

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[–]bucknut14 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, beat me to it

[–]mutantlabor 31 points32 points ago

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It sure do, Oscar. It sure do!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]goose666 37 points38 points ago

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Why aren't there jive courses in college?

That's not a joke setup, I really want to know.

[–]JoinRedditTheySaid 17 points18 points ago

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Only jive turkeys need a class to understand, man.

[–]Epershand 13 points14 points ago

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It's jazz, man.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I think they teach ebonics in some colleges.

[–]acemnorsuvwxz 1 point2 points ago

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It's called AAVE.

[–]Cforq 5 points6 points ago

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There are, but it is not called Jive. It is AAVE. Relevant Wikipedia Article:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=African_American_Vernacular_English&mobileaction=view_normal_site

[–]The_designer_pro -5 points-4 points ago*

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Because Fuck you! There are enough bullshit classes in school that i am forced to take as is...

[–]monevus 23 points24 points ago

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Shut it, you honky-ass turkey.

[–]The_designer_pro 18 points19 points ago

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...okay :(

[–]sympathetic_comment 4 points5 points ago

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I call bullshit. Your username and your claimed major is accounting are contradictory. Accountants have no imagination, that's were boring people go to let their souls die.

[–]The_designer_pro 2 points3 points ago

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I have no soul... im ginger.

[–]sympathetic_comment 1 point2 points ago

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my sisters school had a kick your kind day. you may have heard of it. don't make me sick her on you.

[–]The_designer_pro 1 point2 points ago

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very very sympathetic of you sir.

[–]sympathetic_comment 1 point2 points ago

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My aim is irony.

[–]The_designer_pro 0 points1 point ago

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how ironic of you to sympathize and post back on this.

[–]sympathetic_comment 1 point2 points ago

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yeah, sober mind speaking now. how're you doing on this fine day?

[–]DZ302 3 points4 points ago

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Can someone please translate it? I really have no idea what he's saying.

[–]candygram4mongo 1 point2 points ago

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"They have gravely misapprehended the particulars of this situation."

[–]esquilaxxx 0 points1 point ago

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"they don't want to admit that it's true, but it is."

[–]repsilat 4 points5 points ago

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Hell, "They don't think it is like it is, but it is (like it is)."

[–]OneRomaines 0 points1 point ago

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"Most people wouldn't think that it happens, but it does indeed do."

[–]thomasmcnlt6 1 point2 points ago

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Slide a piece o' da' porter. Drinks, I run da' java

[–]Secrete_Persona 0 points1 point ago

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Cut me some slack jack! Chump don wan no help, chump don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains anyhow.

[–]marsneedstowels 11 points12 points ago

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This is strangely relevant.

[–]Jesustron 9 points10 points ago

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Dear god, this photo has been reposed so many times that it's almost completely artifacts.

[–]I_Am_Indifferent 1 point2 points ago

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It's so reposed it's practically asleep.

[–]Gorignak 23 points24 points ago

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I couldn't help but read it in Cleveland's voice.

[–]kbfair 0 points1 point ago

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Ha I did the same exact thing!

[–]thesomedude777 108 points109 points ago

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Oscar Gamble: Furthering racial steriotypes since 1943

[–]hosk 99 points100 points ago

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Ironically he was referring to racism in baseball with this quote iirc.

[–]Achalemoipas 107 points108 points ago

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It appears it, in fact, do.

[–]vitlrfti 21 points22 points ago

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One time an Asian man came up to me and spoke the language of his native land. That guy was such a stereotype.

[–]Alikese 7 points8 points ago

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Where was he from?
I bet it's Seattle.

[–]vitlrfti 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Hwangdda 107 points108 points ago

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White people: waiting for minorities to falter, so they can feel vindicated for their covert racism.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Hwangdda 62 points63 points ago

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For others, not-so-covert.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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Really? 124 upvotes? Not even an ounce of context to try and hide it behind 'humour'?

Wow, Reddit.

[–]bushiz 9 points10 points ago

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there's this weird and totally unfounded belief that reddit is some kind of bastion of free and progressive thought but it's actually just as racist, sexist, and bigoted as your shitty uncle, and thinks that atheism and weed make it 'progressive'

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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"there's this weird and totally unfounded belief that reddit is some kind of bastion of free and progressive thought". Nah, it's more like this. I'm genuinely surprised the comment was received so well. Genuinely.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, and I definitely dont get that. One what planet is this place progressive? Blows my mind. Actual progressives would probably laugh until they projectile vomited.

[–]ExplainsRacistJokes 9 points10 points ago

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This is funny because the comment point-blank calls out Black people 'niggers', without any attempt at justifying it or wrapping it up in a clever joke or pun.

[–]technoSurrealist 11 points12 points ago

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Seriously? Even under the guise of a "joke" this comment is just the fucking worst. You contributed nothing to the discussion, and you're spewing racism for absolutely no reason except fake Internet points.

[–]BritishHobo 12 points13 points ago

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Fuck that you're getting downvoted. This website is a real shithole sometimes.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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"Sometimes"

I see you've made a spelling error, BritishHobo! I think you meant to type "Never stops being a shithole"?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Well you're definitely not getting invited to my birthday party.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Who wants to party with a bunch of white middle class 14 year old kids anyway?

[–]technoSurrealist 2 points3 points ago

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hurr durr fucking hilarious joke, you are the bastion of comedy this website needs.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And you're the responsible, moral, level headed adult that this website needs. Good thing there's people like you around or it would be total anarchy.

[–]shivalry 0 points1 point ago

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*Real internet points.

[–]SRSPromotionalBot 3 points4 points ago

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[–]post_post_modernism 6 points7 points ago

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That's not funny. You're an asshole.

[–]FrankieBones 2 points3 points ago

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I wonder what percentage of threads would upvote this comment.

[–]Aedan91 1 point2 points ago

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The ones who recognize it as sarcasm perhaps?

Sarcasm as a poor thought answer to Hwangdda comment. That's what made me laugh, though.

[–]Natv 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, covert racism.

Down vote.

[–]omginternets -1 points0 points ago

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White people: waiting for minorities to falter, so they can feel vindicated for their covert racism.

I wanted to respond sooner, but I was floored by the irony aftershocks...

[–]Hwangdda 7 points8 points ago

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It would be ironic if I were being serious now, wouldn't it? White people just can't take a joke.

[–]omginternets 2 points3 points ago

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Poe's law up in hurr...

I apologize.

[–]Hwangdda 3 points4 points ago

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TIL about Poe's law

[–]omginternets 4 points5 points ago

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For educational purposes, I submit this extremely lulzy page of Poe's law examples. My favorite is conservatives thinking that Steven Colbert is serious.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List_of_Poe%27s_Law_examples

[–]gonegoogling 2 points3 points ago

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It do.

[–]ExplainsRacistJokes 1 point2 points ago

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This is funny because Oscar Gamble's grammar is terrible, thus justifying every racist person's perception of all African Americans as having poor grammar.

[–]qazwec 4 points5 points ago

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take that grammar.

[–]foiz5000 14 points15 points ago

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He looks like Neil deGrasse Tyson, with a hat.

[–]esterbrook 19 points20 points ago

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[–]PalermoJohn 3 points4 points ago

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Or it be a sweet-ass is?

[–]esterbrook 0 points1 point ago

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Makes perfect sense to me

[–]ShakyBonez 5 points6 points ago

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Are you sure that isn't Murs?

[–]tofagerl 5 points6 points ago

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And I LOVED HIM in Brewster's Millions.

[–]yxing 0 points1 point ago

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And the hat has made all the difference.

[–]scargnar 0 points1 point ago

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Really? I thought Lamont Sanford.

[–]energysmashed 1 point2 points ago

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I made this into a shirt.

[–]Delaywaves 0 points1 point ago

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I'd like to possess that shirt.

[–]MrUmbrellaPants 6 points7 points ago

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This man is a prophet. Next, we should get him working on the answer to life's greatest question:

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[–]FourteenHatch 0 points1 point ago

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Every upvote you have is a testament to the failure of this subreddit.

[–]MrUmbrellaPants 2 points3 points ago

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Hey, I'm just enforcing the cardinal rule of reddit: If it's funny once, it's funny ten million jillion times.

[–]warkface 1 point2 points ago

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What can I say: It was the first thing that popped into my head upon seeing that image as well.

[–]gennarocc 2 points3 points ago

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A wise man indeed.

[–]jcedryo 2 points3 points ago

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"Boy, what ever you is and where ever you is, don't be what you ain't, because you is what you ain't, you isn't"

[–]my-little-pwny 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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but where was 42?

[–]Kevin-Roses-Left-Nut 3 points4 points ago*

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Add up all the letters you see in that picture, subtract the apostrophes: 42

[–]Hoobleton 0 points1 point ago

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Doing this made me realise how long it has been since I did any arithmetic in my head.

[–]chemguy90 1 point2 points ago

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Such thought over and emotional words. Made me tear up.

[–]DaBlumpkinBandit 1 point2 points ago

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Oscar has dangerously high levels of swag

[–]twan398 1 point2 points ago

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Is our children learning?

[–]iRedeRi 1 point2 points ago

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he meant it do be like that..

[–]Akeboshiwind 1 point2 points ago

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Why does this hurt?

[–]BrutalJones 1 point2 points ago

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"Some time dey do be right." - Vince Young

[–]SkrozSplitski 1 point2 points ago

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I couldn't help but nod and agree while reading.

[–]neecho235 1 point2 points ago

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The man has a point.

[–]Lehobo 1 point2 points ago

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"That just the way baseball go."

[–]ColdCaulkCraig 1 point2 points ago

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This is probably the greatest thing ive ever heard

[–]chmod_244 1 point2 points ago

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"it's just a bunch of stuff that happens" - Homer Simpson

[–]deathbyfrenchfries 0 points1 point ago*

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"It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything."

[–]mootoast 1 point2 points ago

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I vividly remember this being the first repost I ever noticed. Thanks for the nostalgia, I forgot what the exact quote was.

[–]Edibleface 1 point2 points ago

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I can't not hear this in cleavland's voice.

[–]rsr390 1 point2 points ago

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Didn't think I'd ever have one of those oh I've met that guy stories on reddit, but I got one. I played baseball in Montgomery Alabama with Oscar's son Shane. I played catcher and his son was a pitcher (kid could reach around 75 mph when he was 13) So yeah, thats my story of Oscar Gamble.

TLDR: I played baseball with this man's son and he was crazy in the stands during games.

[–]fishebulb 1 point2 points ago

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has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like

[–]Ivebeenfurthereven 0 points1 point ago

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Redditor for 1 year, 4 months and 2 days

I got this.

[–]ImProbablyTrolling 1 point2 points ago

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"To be is to do" Socrates "To do is to be" Sartre "Do Be Do Be Do" Sinatra

[–]Ringer1315 1 point2 points ago

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What a special chocolate man!

[–]That_guy_said_it 0 points1 point ago

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Dennis Green is jealous.

[–]Ski360spin 0 points1 point ago

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Amen.

[–]MrGoodbytes 0 points1 point ago

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It's like that, and that's the way it is.

If it will, it will. If it won't, it won't.

[–]greatwhitebronco 0 points1 point ago

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awesome

[–]Ausk 0 points1 point ago

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I treasure most the times that I get to reply to something with that sentence.

[–]VapeApe 0 points1 point ago

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One could start an entire religion on this little piece of gold.

[–]ptolatar 0 points1 point ago

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Honestly, I find it hard to read that.

[–]Br0da 0 points1 point ago

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Mustache.

[–]jeffnonumber 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Balrogbuddy 0 points1 point ago

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I came to this link expecting to see the caption "Where the fat hoes at?"

[–]Compumerk 0 points1 point ago

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That is profound perfect prose poetry.

[–]PalermoJohn 0 points1 point ago

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Suck on this one, grammar nazis!

[–]meefjones 0 points1 point ago

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You should probably crosspsot this to /r/woahdude

[–]vibro 0 points1 point ago

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Our phys ed teacher in high school was a damn philosopher too. Rather crudely translated into English his main epiphany was: "Guys, there is always more than that what is."

[–]BangItUpLainey 0 points1 point ago

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It do be dat way!

[–]MGM420 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone translate the ebonics?

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This bought tears to my eyes.

[–]SaddestClown 0 points1 point ago

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It's a good thing I speak jive.

[–]nokstar 0 points1 point ago

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Deteced did no going and then you tell me do things I done runnin'.

[–]grantly0711 0 points1 point ago

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Congratulations. Not only did you force me to come up with the most obscenely racist voice possible in my head reading this, you've also made it look like I pissed myself from spit-taking water all over my pants.

[–]truebeans 0 points1 point ago

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You know when it does? And people think it's not? Really, it just be.

[–]TyPiper93 0 points1 point ago

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The Socrates of our time.

[–]Brotha_Kay 0 points1 point ago

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".........." -Grodon Freeman

[–]Razzamanazz 0 points1 point ago

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That's deep.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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sheeeeeeit theres no inherent meaning to the universe.. thats your job you add the meaning

[–]skettios 0 points1 point ago

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We apologise for the inconvenience.

[–]OrigamiHandGrenade 0 points1 point ago

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Made this me senior quote a few years ago. So perfect.

[–]parisien96 0 points1 point ago

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I burst into guffaw. Well titled, indeed!

[–]I_B_Trolling 0 points1 point ago

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It is what it was be.

[–]balfrog 0 points1 point ago

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Is there an actual source on this?

[–]digivolve_already 0 points1 point ago

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It do....it do.

[–]asherrd 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit it's Neil Tyson!

[–]lolowhat 0 points1 point ago

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my brain is full of fuck due to this

[–]modernhero 0 points1 point ago

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yeah, i said he was simultaneously describing the way of the tao, and quantum mechanics.

[–]Martze 0 points1 point ago

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"They are wrong." - Oscar Gamble

[–]billybuckner 0 points1 point ago

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Oscar Gamble 'fro.

[–]tartcouplet 0 points1 point ago

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This reminds me of something one of my friends said a while back, widely regarded as the deepest thing any of us has ever uttered. Its context has long been forgotten: "But it would have been, if it did." I think we all stood in a circle in his foyer repeating this over and over again like we'd just found the meaning of life.

[–]galipso 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think he talk like it is, but he do.

[–]dr0pi 0 points1 point ago

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So who is that sentence meant for? The religious or not?

[–]keefdathief 0 points1 point ago

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"They don't think it be like it is, but it do [be like it is]."

Do be... Doobie... Secret 420 message!!! word up, Oscar Gamble.

[–]DerpinNinjaa 0 points1 point ago

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This is now, my background pic

[–]kirbs2001 0 points1 point ago

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express that with better grammar and fewer words, i dare you.

[–]RNRSaturday 0 points1 point ago

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What he was trying to say was 42.

[–]HERO99532 0 points1 point ago

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false. the meaning of the universe is 42

[–]ConstantlyConfuzed 0 points1 point ago

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I clicked this in the hope that it was a picture of the number 42, now i'm disappointed.

[–]SenorMcBean 0 points1 point ago

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A valid candidate, but...

The real meaning of the universe, when summed into solely a sentence, would be that no one ever sees it because it's buried in comments.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The first person I thought of when I read the quote: http://imgur.com/TJetl

[–]Not_really_Spartacus 0 points1 point ago

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42!

[–]CodyLHowe 0 points1 point ago

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Ah.. I tell you what them colored folks sure is funny. Laughed so hard my damn Pall Malls fell off the bed.

[–]HeresABookForYou 0 points1 point ago

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[–]redditcontrol 0 points1 point ago

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I always thing of Family guy when I see this.

[–]Kalyben 0 points1 point ago

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42 is shorter.

[–]AlicexEve 0 points1 point ago

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My mom: "Why would they print that?" Me: "Why WOULDN'T they print that?"

[–]BaronVonSlapNuts 0 points1 point ago

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I love seeing reposts so old that they've been PHOTOCOPIED almost beyond recognition.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]NegroNinja 9 points10 points ago

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both.

[–]Samils 0 points1 point ago

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racist, reported

[–]Cozmo23 0 points1 point ago

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Fo Sho.

[–]j3ssmar 0 points1 point ago

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Hibby deh bops.

[–]withoutcats 0 points1 point ago

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No lie, this was my senior quote.

/not kidding

[–]Explodybits 0 points1 point ago

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This is the only repost that I laugh at all the time.