I am a sociopath. ... I never said I was a psychopath

There is no clinical difference between sociopath and psychopath. Colloquially, the difference is knowledge of evil. Psychopaths are incapable of understanding their actions are evil whereas sociopaths are cognizant of their actions' consequences and still act in that manner.

I suggest you look into Buddhism. Many of their beliefs share a common thread with the teachings of Jesus and you don't have to deal with all the bullshit of the rest of the bible.

Why can't you convince yourself that there isn't some sort of creator? Evidence already supports that there wasn't a creator of the human species (do you accept this as truth?) or of the earth (how about this?) and probably of the universe itself (how about this?). Plus, this posits the question if "who created the creator?" which has no proper answer because if you say "bob did it!" one can simply reply with "who created bob?" and either this ends in an infinite regression (which so very rarely occur in reality, if at all. I can't think of a single instance) or it just adds unnecessary steps. One can simply stop at "who created the universe?" "it always existed"/"it just popped into existence".

I can understand people seeing God's beauty in things, but it's of my opinion that there is greater beauty in understanding how things work. I think few theists would say that the HIV virus is beautiful, yet to someone who understands the workings of the virus, it's a very beautiful thing to behold and understand (despite the bad outcome at the end), imagining the dance of sub-cell objects as they are attacked by infected objects.