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top 200 commentsshow all 380

[–]Foxonthestorms 913 points914 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]memeasaurus 237 points238 points ago

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it appears to be a sandwich, we can track the breadcrumbs to find where he hid the cash! quickly, identify all the loaves of bread in the city and narrow the parameters by peanut butter and jelly!

[–]The__Skywalker 182 points183 points ago

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We can match his fingerprints by compiling all the crumbs and reconstructing the sandwich!!!

[–]NoobMaster25 112 points113 points ago

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We can rebuild it, we have the technology.

[–]Black_Apalachi 68 points69 points ago

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Zoom in more on his face; let's see if we can get a reflection of what's in that sandwich from his eye once and for all.

[–]Truck_Thunders 52 points53 points ago

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FURTHER WE NEED TO SEE HIS DNA.

[–]Gif_In_The_Period 35 points36 points ago

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I'm in the process of the analyzation.

[–]toorroot 28 points29 points ago

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Looks like when we scanned his DNA, a computer virus got transferred to the computer mainframe. It completely bypassed our firewall!!!

[–]Defender2552 17 points18 points ago

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God help us...

[–]noseforsharpies 36 points37 points ago

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[–]galileofan 4 points5 points ago

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Whoa, such depth from a mere sandwich

[–]son-of-chadwardenn 77 points78 points ago

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This case is a doozy, gonna need a GUI interface in Visual Basic.

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points ago

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Definitely gonna need two people working on each keyboard! Stat!

[–]Rathwood 9 points10 points ago

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Whoops- saw your post after I made mine. Upvote, since you got to the NCIS joke before me.

[–]Rathwood 38 points39 points ago

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SHIT! We're being hacked! Quickly, bang on this keyboard with me!

[–]atcoyou 8 points9 points ago

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Or better yet, pull out the power cord to THE MONITOR. McGee if real must have wanted to face palm... why are they still using CRTs anyway?

[–]krakeon 6 points7 points ago

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CRTs are better. For a TV show like that, free CRTs are a lot less expensive than LCDs

[–]MadMageMC 2 points3 points ago

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Unless you're show is based in Miami, in which case your LCD's aren't cool unless you can fucking see through them.

[–]Rathwood 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah. And even if he did shut down that computer, it's only a terminal. The hacker is still helping himself to the files from the NCIS servers. Good-old-fashioned solution FAIL.

[–]wootmonster 19 points20 points ago

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nhubgtnby56 gfhj vbfgrt5

There, banged with my dick a couple of times. Does that help?

[–]Rathwood 10 points11 points ago

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Hm, You seem to favor the lower right corner...

[–]Wojtek_the_bear 40 points41 points ago

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his penis so big, that if he put it on the keyboard it would go from a to z

[–]bastian1343 14 points15 points ago

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Okay, you go make one of those and I'll start a chase scene in Second Life.

[–]str8shooter 12 points13 points ago

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[–]redaa 6 points7 points ago

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If they used this technology on that grainy video of bigfoot we'd have his height, weight, favorite color, home address, and the last 150 porn sites he visited. People don't realize all of this information is captured when you take a picture of someone, you just need to have the technology to access it.

[–]about22indians 5 points6 points ago

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Keanu Reeves codes in Oracle. Duh .

[–]Strahz 14 points15 points ago

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Sir! We're in luck. I ran a GUI interface on the residual crumbs in visual basic and found that the bread used to make this sandwich is "Lavash bread", commonly found in the Middle East. After cross referencing Lavash bread and Keanu Reeves through our database, there were only two bakeries in his neighborhood who sold that type of bread. One owned by a Mrs. Elanor Smith, and the other by a Muhammad Hussein Bin Laden.

[–]DanteRien 6 points7 points ago

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We'll have to interview Elanor Smith for three seconds first to not seem racist, but I want two SWAT teams on standby for when we question Muhammad Hussein Bin Laden; I got a feeling that's our guy...

[–]swedishfrog 11 points12 points ago

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Nice try, Hodgins.

[–]bravoredditbravo 11 points12 points ago

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I've identified the crumbs as country rye. This tells us that the bread has recently been eaten by someone with horrible taste

[–]slayernine 1 point2 points ago

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There appears to be a reflection on his chest. Can you just go ahead and enhance that image?

[–]ThatGuyOnTheCorner 14 points15 points ago

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From where is that sandwich eating guy from again? I know I've seen him before.

[–]A10050 36 points37 points ago

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The Matrix.

[–]Tibyon 17 points18 points ago

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Devil's Advocate

[–]A10050 41 points42 points ago

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Bill and Ted's excellent adventure.

[–]funkless_eck 18 points19 points ago

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[–]funkless_eck 16 points17 points ago

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[–]funkless_eck 18 points19 points ago

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[–]ipslne 3 points4 points ago*

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Lebanese guy here, just to tell you this is faked.

EDIT: What? There was contingency in this thread? My bad :(

[–]funkless_eck 7 points8 points ago

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if this is true then Mind: blown

[–]soawesomejohn 0 points1 point ago

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It's about time someone devoted a subreddit to my favourite type of Bologna.

[–]Rathwood 8 points9 points ago

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[–]aprildh08 7 points8 points ago

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One "from" is plenty.

[–]deadlyspoons 11 points12 points ago

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He did say "from again," so he's covered.

[–]tabret2004 4 points5 points ago

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I've now said "from" too many times...

[–]schpider 5 points6 points ago

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Now "from" doesn't make sense in my head anymore! Is "from" even a word? It doesn't sound like a word!

[–]funkless_eck 5 points6 points ago

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From is like the foam that forms on your moustache when you spit too much.

[–]HojMcFoj 5 points6 points ago

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Is it the same consistency as santorum?

[–]ecmmyers 3 points4 points ago

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[–]Tibyon 4 points5 points ago

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The posing is almost perfect.

[–]TomTaroo 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Skyhawker 3 points4 points ago

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Thanks!! Now I know who it is....

[–]RhymeWithYourComment 3 points4 points ago

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Doomed and Entranced

[–]writes_shitty_poems 0 points1 point ago*

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This isn't bad
He looks sad

[–]Sarahmint 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't get it until I saw this

[–]thornae 177 points178 points ago

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When you saw it, did you shit bricks?

[–]OddLawnGnome 44 points45 points ago

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I'm actually on my way to Legoland at this very moment. Scrutiny of the city scene shall occur.

[–]chrisd93 8 points9 points ago

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Is this at the MOA Lego Land?

[–]SinisterKid 28 points29 points ago

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Legoland Florida. Sad Keanu is sitting in Little Havana, so you probably won't see him at other Legolands.

[–]memeasaurus 17 points18 points ago

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It's a quest then. I shall gaze upon Lego Sad Keanu. It shall only take two days trek by car.

[–]110289 17 points18 points ago

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If its a quest you must travel by horse or foot, go with god, hero.

[–]memeasaurus 3 points4 points ago

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I can ride the horse, but can the horse ride a car?

Better yet, what if I go on foot but my feet are in a car?

[–]Gate28 3 points4 points ago

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Living in Orlando, I shall venture to Legoland and see this myself. Is this life-sized or is he little?

[–]jake10684 27 points28 points ago

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Have you ever played with Lego?

[–]Gate28 4 points5 points ago

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I have, but the Lego part of Downtown Disney has giant Lego models, so I was thinking maybe the whole park was like that.

[–]jake10684 2 points3 points ago

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There's a separate Legoland that isn't in Downtown Disney that's actually more of an amusement park that has tons of huge Lego creations like miniature buildings and cities and whatnot.

Didn't mean to come across as rude in that last comment. I haven't had my caffeine yet today so my brain isn't running as well as it should.

And I think I read your comment wrong again, but my brain, it sucks.

[–]Gate28 2 points3 points ago

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Haha, what I'm trying to say is that I know that they turned Cypress Gardens into Legoland and maybe they made a life-size Lego model of Keanu. It would be pretty sweet to sit next to Keanu on that bench.

[–]photogc 0 points1 point ago

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This is such a fantastic response and I just don't think it'll get the kind of attention it deserves.

[–]TotalFusionOne 0 points1 point ago

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GREAT! This place is a half hour away. I'm totally going to find him.

[–]AngryEnt 0 points1 point ago

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I was really hoping it was. sigh

inb4 - girl look at that body

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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[–]Croccydile 6 points7 points ago

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I have plenty more from that day but the sad keanu reference seemed to be the only "useful" one reddit would have understood.

You could spend a few hours alone trying to see all the little details in the models.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Whats the best shot you have from your visit?

[–]Croccydile 2 points3 points ago

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Outside of being Legoland it was built on the old Cypress Gardens park, and the gardens are still there. I had a few good pictures of the scenery there. Despite being "out of the way" from the standard selection of Orlando theme parks it actually is nice to visit.

As far as lego models there are several hundred pics I would have to go through to pick my favorites :S

[–]NinjaSkillz810 1 point2 points ago

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Give us your top 5 then :)

[–]Croccydile 91 points92 points ago*

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I was wondering when my photo was going to be reposted outside of /r/lego

Only took about 5 months.

(By the way this was opening day at Legoland Florida)

Edit: I should clarify I have no ill will towards the reposting. I'm rather flattered someone actually bothered to take it and put it up again for attention.

[–]Feisl 1 point2 points ago

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What was the most memorable thing about Legoland? What was the most intricate LEGO there? Your memories, share them!

[–]Croccydile 5 points6 points ago

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The first thing that comes to mind I was pleased they saved Cypress Gardens. Probably a legal requirement though for taking over the land as its part of the registered historic landmarks.

The Lego mini-land or whatever they call it is pretty impressive stuff given the amount of details put into all the models. It's not just reproductions of famous buildings but figures and actions all together. Some of the models have moving vehicles or boats as well.

The rest of the park could be a bit more centric towards children depending on your point of view. The coasters are inherited when Cypress Gardens was trying to save itself from bankruptcy adding thrill rides. They are very small (but still Adult sized, not kiddie coasters) though compared to other theme parks. Like 20-30 second rides at best.

Price is also relatively high as well. Being generous with the gardens and everything, Legoland is still 1/5th the size of say Universal Studios (just the Studios park, not even Islands of Adventure!) but charges full park sized prices.

Opening day cost me if I remember $60, looking on their website they now want $75 at the gate and $68 online. That is far too high considering its size.

[–]pplkillr 17 points18 points ago

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i don't get it. would anyone care to enlighten me?

[–]sylocheed 8 points9 points ago

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[–]pplkillr 0 points1 point ago

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oh! thanks!

[–]string97bean 51 points52 points ago

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Is that a lego prostitute in the background?

[–]TracyMorganVoice 90 points91 points ago

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ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

AND THAT ONE WAY IS TO TAKE HER BEHIND THE LEGO MIDDLE SCHOOL AND GET HER LEGO PREGNANT.

[–]expo1001 6 points7 points ago

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I'm going to add a mental ", Liz Lemon." to the end of each of your statements.

[–]cbsauder 4 points5 points ago

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SOMEBODY GONNA GET PREGNANT

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Legnant? Sorry, I'll show myself out.

[–]2PaksLaCkeR 8 points9 points ago

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[–]inbntly 2 points3 points ago

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Burninating the peasants?

[–]ContentKeanu 9 points10 points ago

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I'm a little less sad when I'm made of Legos.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points ago

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is it sad keanu?

[–]drunk_otter 58 points59 points ago

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They captured his expression perfectly.

[–]Hypersapien 9 points10 points ago

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You mean the fact that he never had one?

[–]WRONGANSWERFUCKMUNCH 49 points50 points ago

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thatsthejoke.com called they want their domain back

[–]workroom 25 points26 points ago

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yeah? well the jerk store called...

[–]fritzwilliam-grant 17 points18 points ago

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What's the difference? You're their all time bestseller!

[–]huto 2 points3 points ago

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Upvoted for relevant username.

[–]Apterygiformes 88 points89 points ago

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It most certainly dertainly is!

[–]verekh 40 points41 points ago

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Thank you-doo diddly doo!

[–]synthaxx 37 points38 points ago

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Shut up Flanders!

[–]Richeh 35 points36 points ago

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Okelydokely!

[–]synthaxx 23 points24 points ago

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Oh, stupid sexy Flanders.

[–]phelsumas 6 points7 points ago

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nothing at all...nothing at all...nothing at all...nothing at all...

[–]huto 3 points4 points ago

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It's like I'm wearing nothin at all! Nothin at all! Nothin at all! Nothin at all!

[–]caoimhinoceallaigh 7 points8 points ago*

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Could someone please spare a second to explain to me why this post is funny?

I'd be much obliged!

Edit: merci beaucoup.

[–]Wolf_Protagonist 8 points9 points ago

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I'll give it a shot.

Sad Keanu is a series of photo's, shot by a paparazzi, depicting the actor Keanu Reeves. In the photos, he appears to have something pretty heavy on his mind, many thought Keanu looked really sad in the pics.

Countless hours were spent photoshopping the pics, and posting them to reddit. So we know that scene pretty well.

It is funny because with just a few bits of plastic, the person who created this managed to evoke that image in our minds so well.

[–]derptyherp 3 points4 points ago

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[–]Buck_Furious 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for the link. Had never read about it's origin before. Have an up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Sad Lego Keanu.

[–]Hobo-Bonobo 21 points22 points ago

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It's funny how without context, it is merely a random lego character. Yet as soon as I clicked on the image, I saw the man, the tragic cast to his face belying a sense of melancholy and humility, even bemusment at a life lived well, but not without its shards of tragedy. I knew exactly who it was.

[–]severus66 2 points3 points ago

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I knew it was strikingly familiar at first, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what it reminded me of.

Then it hit me: sad keanu! Fuck how magnificent was that construction that a lego character that looks nothing like Keanu can bring you to that scene?

[–]sadkeanureeves 30 points31 points ago

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Hey, that's me!

[–]Maoky 7 points8 points ago

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Been waiting a while eh =P

[–]sadkeanureeves 19 points20 points ago

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Yeah, it's been a long, sad wait.

[–]TrustyGuy 2 points3 points ago

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As someone that worked at Legoland, there is a lot more going on in mini land than you may know. In one building a guy is on the toilet, there was a time that there were two of the larger models of lego people, the 2 ft. tall version of the round-heads, that were having butt sex in the back area but you could see it from the Technic Test Track. There used to be a pig by the Knight's Table restaurant that had a pink anus. When they put in the water park there was a naked pirate with a butterfly shaped ass that was visible from the walkway.

[–]darrenr105 26 points27 points ago

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Have an upvote for making my morning.

[–]RedSquaree 10 points11 points ago

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FYI he wasn't there

title comnts points age /r/
Sad Keanu gets around. 15coms 432pts 4mos pics

Not saying he didn't make your morning just because he had nothing to do with the photograph!

[–]legojerry 12 points13 points ago

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Have an upvote for making my username.

[–]kerikxi 13 points14 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]CheddarGuevara 1 point2 points ago

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4chan.

[–]SenorZorro2000 1 point2 points ago

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:D

Also, here's this relevant interview posted earlier today with the song's performer (me!).

[–]Splintuh 8 points9 points ago

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Sadly no pigeons...:(

[–]murfle 4 points5 points ago

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There are seagulls to the right.

[–]mistercrabb 8 points9 points ago

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I can't wait to have kids so I can go to Legoland again.

[–]MinionOfDoom 21 points22 points ago

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Why wait? I went with my husband 2 years ago. The one in Carlsbad. It was AWESOME. We even ran into another couple that went out of their way to tell us we made them feel better about going without kids since the four of us were pretty much the only ones haha. And omg those apple fries are out of this world!

[–]Silmariel 3 points4 points ago

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Im ashamed to realise that I thought Legoland only existed in Denmark, and that only the actual blocks was a big hit outside the country. Now you tell me you got one in Carlsbad and Florida?..

[–]MinionOfDoom 1 point2 points ago

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There's one in Chicago, but I didn't get to go to it on my last trip to Chicago because hubby got sick that day >_> Worst. Timing. Ever. Didn't know there was one in Florida.

[–]mistercrabb 1 point2 points ago

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One in the UK too.

[–]mmmbacon914 0 points1 point ago

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My girlfriend took me for Christmas and we're both in college. It was awkward at first, but then every once in a while we'd see another couple reliving their childhood, give each other a silent nod, and then go about our day feeling a little better

[–]Lightning_Boy 1 point2 points ago

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Used to work rides at the park in Carlsbad. Before y shift would start I'd go through the exit and hop aboard the Technic coaster because I worked with the operators.

[–]Dr_Rhymenaecologist 1 point2 points ago

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Two exits til LEGOLand!!

[–]freeall 4 points5 points ago

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Which Legoland is it? If it actually is from Legoland that is.

[–]SinisterKid 6 points7 points ago

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Legoland Florida. Sad Keanu is sitting in Little Havana.

EDIT: One more photo.

[–]freeall 3 points4 points ago

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Cool! Thanks :)

[–]forevern00b 2 points3 points ago

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Are those Canadian Legos?

[–]n27k 8 points9 points ago

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[–]TheCuntDestroyer 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah this picture has been around for ages.

[–]coyotej 1 point2 points ago

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Not everything makes the front page the first time, though.

[–]RoboCop-A-Feel 2 points3 points ago

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But it DID make the front page the first time....

[–]UsernameWin 5 points6 points ago

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Legoland had me more amazed that Disney World as a kid. Driving those lego go-karts and taking the little driving course made me feel so grown-up. Memoriessssss

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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777 points (77% like it)

It's a sign.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]fronz13 1 point2 points ago

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Does anyone know why he was looking sad? Was it when he broke up with Charlize Theron and realized that he will never know a more beautiful woman. Just I would be fucking suicidal if I had that sitting on my face and now I am sitting on a bench.

[–]wangtheory 1 point2 points ago

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forever alone.

[–]SonsOfLiberty86 1 point2 points ago

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keanu-what-if-this-repost-is-a-repost-of-a-repost.jpg

[–]ziggybiggnutts 1 point2 points ago

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has it been the predetermined amount of time to repost sad keanu at legoland? NO

[–]mulletsaurus 3 points4 points ago

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I can tell you who has two thumbs and isn't sad. THIS guy. And Sad Keanu made out of LEGO is largely responsible for that.

[–]gmpalmer 2 points3 points ago

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Which Legoland?

[–]AppleDane 2 points3 points ago

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Florida, apparently.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Are you going to even credit the guy who originally posted this like a year ago when he went to Legoland on one of the 1st days it was open and spotted this and posted this photo?

You suck.

[–]billyblaze 4 points5 points ago

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Link.

You're not helping.

[–]Jenksz 1 point2 points ago

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What are you trying to say Mr. Anderson?

[–]Tampert 1 point2 points ago

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Is that Hitler on the wall in the background? With the black guys standing behind him.

[–]maycut 1 point2 points ago

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20 miles to Legoland!

[–]hokieod 1 point2 points ago

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i was in legoland (florida) a few months ago. i was overwhelmed with the amount of detail in the displays and all of the 'hidden' things like this just lurking. on a side note: this place is not just for kids, there were plenty of couples there ranging from 30's to 70's without children (or grandchildren). plenty of stuff to do including decent food, games/prizes, roller coasters, etc. this place was huge.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]I-am_Batman 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Asumi 2 points3 points ago

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I like the hair detail, that little block quiff made and posture made it recognisable.

[–]fap_quest 0 points1 point ago

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Sad Keanu :(

[–]avianeddy 0 points1 point ago

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right click... Set as Desktop Background :-D

[–]steinman17 0 points1 point ago

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That's nice and all, but I don't like non-minifig people in Lego.

[–]o0Willum0o 0 points1 point ago

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Ugh, now I wanna go to Lego land. That's my weekend gone.

[–]GiantsNut57 0 points1 point ago

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Today, sad Lego Keanu will shit bricks

[–]KenSlayer 0 points1 point ago

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Sad Keanu Reeves is sad

[–]Arx0s 0 points1 point ago

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What the hell kind of sandwich is that?

[–]mm440910 0 points1 point ago

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This picture reminds me of childhood. My brothers were always playing with legos and building awesome things. I am however curious to what the lego builder wanted the food item to be that's in the hand of the person sitting on the bench.

[–]spyralaniac 0 points1 point ago

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Where is "I Can Lego That"?

[–]solidfake 0 points1 point ago

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lol, I watched at the pic for a while till I recognised what scene it shows XD

[–]-o-o-o- 0 points1 point ago

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are those ducks on the side? i love ducks

[–]DeadmanDexter 0 points1 point ago

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Even in Lego form Sad Keanu is sad.

[–]legoland12342 0 points1 point ago

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When I first saw this post, I was very confused for a moment.

[–]vehiclestars 0 points1 point ago

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Pretty creative.

[–]Stormtrumper 0 points1 point ago

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Enhance....... Enhance.............Enhance

[–]derpaherpa 0 points1 point ago

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Nobody saw the Puddi right behind him?

[–]pooptrack 0 points1 point ago

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repost

older than the internet

copy pasta

[–]tigerinhouston 0 points1 point ago

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Whoa.

[–]nexustk5 0 points1 point ago

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If you look closely, you can see that the Keanu is fake

[–]pdavda 0 points1 point ago

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Next... Strutting Leo!

[–]Skooma420 0 points1 point ago

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oh the never ending stream of reposts

[–]jdeyounge 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't hear anything about Legoland.

[–]hmmnotsure 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like the Architech played with legos recently...

[–]dude_abiding 0 points1 point ago

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forever a lego

[–]BlinkingBear 0 points1 point ago

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That is the most expression I have ever seen out of Keanu.

[–]Nomikos 0 points1 point ago

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It boggles my mind how this is so instantly recognizable..

[–]TheRealDrCube 0 points1 point ago

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please tell me this is actually in legoland

[–]Relevant_PokemonPun 0 points1 point ago

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I spent a long time at Legoland trying to find this, but when i finally found it, here was a smudge on my camera, so the picture turned out...Gastly

[–]yeahifuckedyourmom 0 points1 point ago

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LEGO KEANU IS IMMORTAL.

[–]rockafella7 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for making feel like a total nerd. I knew exactly what that was.

[–]AWindUpBird 0 points1 point ago

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My feelings about this could best be expressed by this cat meme: http://imgur.com/gallery/5Fjfx

[–]Kezhia 0 points1 point ago

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It's nice to known stuff like this can still be made with just regular lego and not taking the easy route by creating unique pieces like they do with all the themed stuff now.

[–]zakik88 0 points1 point ago

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TIL That Windsor isn't the only place with a Legoland.

[–]Insolent_villager 0 points1 point ago

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When you try to pick him up to... walk maybe... does his ass stay stuck to the bench?

[–]doggylog 0 points1 point ago

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When I was in primary school, there was this board on the wall where the teacher would stick the best work we did in the class during the previous month. One of the tasks was to create a profile of yourself with a picture. I remember one of the more dimmer girls peice of work was on the wall and under the title of Sex, she wrote 'Yes.' That's what this picture reminds me of.

[–]TwasARockLobsta 0 points1 point ago

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It kind of makes me sad that I instantly recognized this, knowing that no one else I know would.

[–]gaminomax 0 points1 point ago

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I will get this picture tomorrow!

[–]let_them_burn 0 points1 point ago

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blown away right now.

[–]mindfckr 0 points1 point ago

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Excerpt from IMDB:

Frequently plays man either strapped or sitting in a chair while some type of procedure is performed on him. All three Matrix films, Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Feeling Minnesota (1996), Dracula (1992), Constantine (2005), A Scanner Darkly (2006), The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008).

[–]Bigcubfan 0 points1 point ago

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The guys in the back are standing because they didn't want to sit next to the other guy or the ducks...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Is that supposed to be sad keanu