this post was submitted on
463 points (56% like it)
2,155 up votes 1,692 down votes

funny

subscribe2,604,280 readers

10,888 users here now

Please take our newest poll about facebook posts

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 63 comments

[–]Biuku 100 points101 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Babies die in the womb a fair bit.

[–]yangx 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We are expecting a baby.

But it could be a stillborn.

[–]Dugen 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Or a miscarriage. Or well.. other bad things could happen. Expecting is a very nice way of saying a baby is coming if all the terrible things that could happen to prevent it's arrival, don't.

[–]hollander93 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Could be Chris angel pulling one of his stunts.

[–]sicinfit 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Basically a crap-shoot at this point.

[–]pureprotest 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

doesn't matter, still born.

[–]whiskeyeyes 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was expecting something funny but this is an awfully sobering fact

[–]videogameexpert 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

stupid pregnancy jokes to lighten the mood:

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
Depends on what you’re doing with them.

What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy?
Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder.

Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
When it’s a girl, for starters.

[–]scrambledbrain 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In the game of "Remove All Humor From Funny Posts" -- you have scored over 9000 points. Congratulations.

[–]Biuku 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel terrible. I kind of really do.

[–]Japindian 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Or expecting more than one baby.

[–]CharlesDeGaul 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dmitri Martin's line im pretty sure

[–]Thorrn 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You know, we're expecting original content, but it could be repost.

[–]Simply_A_Nice_Guy 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You know, a velociraptor wouldn't be all that bad....

[–]DiscordianStooge 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wait, I saw that movie. Turns out you're wrong.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you mean that Jurassic Park documentary? Did you see the sequel where the little dinosaurs ate the girl at the beginning? Child me thought that was so cool. But adult me is probably too jaded to think that shot was cool.

[–]DiscordianStooge 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That scene is the opening of the original book. I was pissed when they left it out of the movie, and happy when they put it in the 2nd one.

[–]MikeJones07 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Repost.

[–]bloodsoup 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is more than just a repost. This is ancient.

[–]ZiggyDStarcraft 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A Dimitri Martin joke I believe.

[–]thepartee 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Miss carriage

[–]vi0cs 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]nukeforyou 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

damn jurassic park not doing the research

[–]DiscordianStooge 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The feather thing wasn't proven until after JP came out. Doesn't fix the fact that the raptors in JP were way too big, though.

[–]N0V0w3ls 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Were they not modeled after Deinonychus, which was at the time thought to be more closely related to Velociraptor?

[–]DiscordianStooge 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm sure they were - In fact, I wish they had called in Deinonychus, because that was my favorite dinosaur growing up.

[–]vi0cs -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It is related to the the velociraptor and byot smaller and some flowers. feathers.

edit: Was I high when I wrote that?

[–]DiscordianStooge 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm certainly hope so.

[–]malvoliosf -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And sucking.

[–]drinkme217 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you so much. this hasn't been reposted nearly enough times http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/Wwg9U.jpg

[–]greatcaptain 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Doctor, "I'm sorry, it appears your baby is a dinosaur."

Husband, "Dammit, I am so pissed my sperm was able to revive an extinct species!"

Wife, "Honey...when I said I was watching Jurassic Park at Lisa's house, well, I really wasn't watching Jurassic Park; I was going there with a guide."

Husband, "You have been sleeping with another man?!"

Wife, "Not exactly..."

Doctor, "Clever Girl."

[–]greatcaptain 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't use bold text that often. It's a lot bigger than I expected.

[–]KryptosV2 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's because the stylesheet for r/funny made the bold declaration increase font size as well (most likely for the sidebar text).

It's still fun to abuse, though.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This whole time I couldn't figure out what caused some bold text to be large and some to be regular sized. I thought it was about formatting.

[–]Scunner132 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You don't usually use bold text, but when you do you make a damn funny comment.

[–]misappeal 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We are expecting OC... but it could be a repost.

[–]Salphabeta 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It could be dead.

[–]malvoliosf 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This gets funnier every single time it's reposted.

[–]SemiLOOSE 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

its called not stating the obvious...

[–]wink047 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this sounds like something demitri martin would say

[–]Everydaywedo 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Repost. Shut it down.

[–]kaybay3 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Your repost is bad, and you should feel bad!

[–]kidl33t 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I fucking wish!

[–]mence 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Clever baby

[–]BreakTheCircleOf5ths 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Very Hedberg!

Well done.

[–]namer98 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Stolen from survivingtheworld.net

[–]justinharrison1337 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh my, I do love XKCD.

[–]beatriceboxcar 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

fingers crossed for you guys!

[–]marmo518 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Upvote for picture of Raptor.

[–]TheLithuanianDude 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

By the Eight, it's damn funny.

[–]BenTG 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You usually don't know when the baby's coming.

[–]AtomicKing 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Repost

[–]BOTCH__TOE 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jesus Christ! This has to be the 20th time this has been posted this year alone.

[–]trustedsource 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

40% percent chance it could be corpse.

[–]Loneytunes 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Said baby could possibly be miscarried dude. You expect to have a baby. But sometimes the cord wraps around it's neck.

[–]NaturalDeity 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Please do have all my downvotes.

[–]aReddittoramongMen 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think it was intended to be that they are expecting a due date. I'm pretty sure the baby part was pretty unquestionable.

[–]scrambledbrain 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Only about once a week or so, a Reddit posts actually makes me laugh out loud. And this one did.

I'm sure it's been reposted a zillion times, but it's the first I've seen it -- so thank you.

[–]rofl627 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Erm... Anyone else notice this is a repost? Google it. There are several older sources of this exact image. OC I think is here: http://enemyofthestatist.tumblr.com/post/11673755894/i-love-the-term-were-expecting-when-talking-about And this OC was then adapted into a photo, which surfaced on the Internet.

I even saw this same exact photo on Memebase (gasp!) and some random subreddit a long time ago.

[–]hellsnake08 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"I'm with child" is another stupid one in my opinion.

I don't know why...it just sounds....wrong....

[–]kinglewy00 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Could be expecting a miscarriage.. ¬_¬

[–]bossbrew -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A term used by parents who are not quite sure if they will keep the baby or not. Abortion is a viable option afterall.