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959
960

Why can I never think of shit like this? (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by queenelizabeththe2nd

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[–]BreweryBaron 320 points321 points ago

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Because you probably own a stove...

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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And you'd rather have something stable that won't possibly burn off center and fall over.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points ago

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And you're not a lumberjack/Canadian.

[–]xtoonx 36 points37 points ago

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and my axe...wait

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sicsemperTrex 10 points11 points ago

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Make sure to cook it on a log first!

[–]majorkev 0 points1 point ago

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What was to be cooked?

[–]sicsemperTrex 1 point2 points ago

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The dick he was told to eat, my good man.

[–]antwilliams89 2 points3 points ago

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Pretty sure it's Swedish, not Canadian.

...But your point still stands, I suppose.

[–]Puremark403 4 points5 points ago

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I am a Canadian and a lumberjack and I wouldn't do this

[–]thewronghands 2 points3 points ago

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"I'm am a Canadian and a lumberjack " aren't you just repeating yourself?

[–]Puremark403 0 points1 point ago

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Common mistake you see there is also Eskimos so....

[–]mikeDabout2getMoney -1 points0 points ago

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and you're not ok.

[–]minecrafterambesten 1 point2 points ago

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and you neither sleep all night, nor work all day.

[–]omni_wisdumb 3 points4 points ago

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and if you were to be stuck in a stranded type situation without a stove i doubt you will have a gas operated chain-saw and a reserve of gasoline...

[–]Rajio 1 point2 points ago

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and a skillet.

[–]erwin54 6 points7 points ago

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Because when you're camping you don't carry a chainsaw.

[–]epSos-DE 1 point2 points ago

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He probably can afford a grill. Those rich people, you know !

[–]vikingabroad 49 points50 points ago

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Swedish torch. There was a reddit post with a detailed video the other day.

http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/ozgiu/survival_skills_this_kid_has_some_really_great/

Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=WfRovJ1KcCg

[–]JohnSli 3 points4 points ago

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I was always told it was a Finnish torch because it became incredibly popular during and after the war with Soviet Russia, clever Finns used this method to save wood.

[–]decayingteeth 0 points1 point ago

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Why is it called a Swedish torch?

[–]Frost_ 7 points8 points ago

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Because of the general tendency to award the Swedes the right to call any damn generic Nordic thing as their own. ಠ_ಠ The meatballs aren't particularly Swedish either.

In Finnish that thing is called jätkänkynttilä, the most direct translation being probably a (lumber)jack's candle, though the word jätkä can be used to refer to any kind of dude or manual (possibly seasonal) labourer.

I suspect that the Norwegians have a word for it too, as well as the Russians probably also.

[–]vikingabroad 0 points1 point ago

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I like the Finnish word for it better, though of course I could never pronounce it:)

[–]dlq84 0 points1 point ago

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The torch originate from Sweden? Just a wild guess.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Illini005 -3 points-2 points ago

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The music in that YouTube video is terrible

[–]beeteeoh 135 points136 points ago

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Perhaps because you've never been in a situation where all you had to make lunch was a well-squared log and chainsaw.

[–]Drunken_Economist 227 points228 points ago

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When all you've got is a chainsaw, every problem starts to look like a well-squared log.

[–]beeteeoh 14 points15 points ago

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Well played sir, well played.

[–]InvisibleManiac 7 points8 points ago

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Oddly enough, I have a

Relevent

for almost exactly that...

[–]senorchaos718 2 points3 points ago

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relevant*
Dammit... you see what reddit has done to me? DO YOU SEE?!?!

[–]vincent_vancough 2 points3 points ago

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Even the national debt?

[–]FrederickMercury 22 points23 points ago

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Especially the national debt ಠ_ಠ

[–]IForgotMyPants -1 points0 points ago

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OH LORDY! HE'S RISEN FROM THE DEAD! OH GLORIOUS DAY!!!

[–]biggestboypants 0 points1 point ago

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Thats okay. My pants are big enough for both of us to fit into.

[–]IForgotMyPants 0 points1 point ago

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Oh thank you! I thought I was gonna have to go all life without my pants!

[–]bannana 3 points4 points ago

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Oh, and a cast iron skillet and all the food to put in it.

[–]thegreysquirrel 1 point2 points ago

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I feel honored to have been in this situation as part of my tree felling certification. We called them Swedish Candles and they burn beautifully. One of my fondest memories.

[–]beeteeoh 0 points1 point ago

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Swedish, eh? What are they called? Loggenburner or Skyrsvadt?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Flaarb.

[–]TheBoxTalks 69 points70 points ago

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A chainsaw, a log and a frying pan and baby, you gotta stew goin.

[–]Staggerlee23 21 points22 points ago

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"A Modest Proposal"??

[–]Cavemencrazy 10 points11 points ago

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Cook all da babies....

[–]PentathlonJAdumbrate 3 points4 points ago

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Only if you're an atheist. And if you're an "anti-theist," then just warm your hands and eat the baby raw.

[–]Oraln 2 points3 points ago

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Upvoted because I actually understood this reference.

[–]Zeiss 7 points8 points ago

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There's still plenty of bark on that log.

[–]deathbytray 1 point2 points ago

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Burger King... it's a wonderful restaurant.

[–]RobinTheBrave 0 points1 point ago

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A seasoned log - it's no good using one you've just cut, because it'll be wet and won't burn well.

I'm not sure about the baby stew either...

[–]coattails 116 points117 points ago

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The pan falls off because it's support is being consumed as fuel.

[–]danman11 5 points6 points ago

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Kicking hot ashes up into your dumb face.

[–]orkid68 1 point2 points ago

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Eventually, sure, but are you speaking from experience? Presumably it burns long enough to prepare simple dishes.

[–]qeditor 24 points25 points ago

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Headline: Why am I not creative? Reddit auto tags post as cliched and unoriginal.

[–]Dignitude 1 point2 points ago

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The machines have begun to mock us.. once they lose respect for us all out uprising is not far behind

[–]RobinTheBrave 0 points1 point ago

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It would be nice if it could also do a tineye search and tell us how many times it's been reposted...

[–]hihi44 34 points35 points ago

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probably because you can't come up with original content

[–]chiablo 18 points19 points ago

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It's ok, he can try again in a few weeks.

[–]illektr1k 1 point2 points ago

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This is reddit. Given that it only takes a few seconds to sign up a new account, I'm sure (s)he will try again in a matter of hours/days.

[–]John_um 3 points4 points ago

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Because you're not from Finland.

[–]biggs2003 5 points6 points ago

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Swedish fire torch, cool stuff.

[–]maltins 3 points4 points ago

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Here in italy (and i think in other country) we use that as "heater" in Christmas markets by the streets. It create nice atmosphere with snow and everything.

[–]AttilaTetris 3 points4 points ago

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Cause you aren't a Scandinavian...

[–]the_television 9 points10 points ago

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Because its already been on frontpage?

[–]ObservingOwl 5 points6 points ago

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Naw man, this wasn't on the front page around two weeks ago.

[–]SimplyBilly 2 points3 points ago

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I'm assuming because you have never been in a situation where you have a log, a chainsaw, and a pan; but no stove.

[–]jakeofalltrades 10 points11 points ago

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honestly if you had to go and buy all the shit to cook outside it would be less of a pain in the ass than doing this. Granted it looks cool but that's where it ends.

[–]vahntitrio 3 points4 points ago

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Not to mention it's an absolute pain in the ass to chainsaw a log in that direction. I'd rather just split it completely, and pound the sections into dirt/sand for that.

[–]RobinTheBrave 0 points1 point ago

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plus you'd really want a dry log, not something you'd just cut down.

[–]justanothercommenter -2 points-1 points ago

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Yep, purely looks. It's not practical and this would scorch the food, not cook it. Not only that, he's burning the patina off his Lodge skillet (a real fucking no, no.)

There's just no reason in the world to do this.

Here's something related that's much more practical.

[–]entertainingname 26 points27 points ago

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Actually this is a time tested method and works quite well. I learned it from an old Finnish Army veteran. Also, cast iron is not harmed by open flame like this. Controlling heat can be tricky but it's manageable and pretty efficient if you're out in the woods with a large saw and an empty stomach.

[–]fairlynuts 11 points12 points ago

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Yea this method is hundreds of years old. It has widely been used by loggers in Scandinavia and Swedish troops was noted doing this during the 30 years war.

Originally the loggers would most often just split the stump of a tree and use that.

[–]munky_g 0 points1 point ago

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Swedish Fire Torch

[–]helloimhary 4 points5 points ago

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Wrong on the split log being impractical, but dang, upvote for that awesome video.

[–]Pointer2Nowhere 1 point2 points ago

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Similar method that works well for multiple smaller logs or one larger one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmf2nY9JZGk

[–]karabeckian 4 points5 points ago

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I have been using this method for a couple of years now. I'm saving up for one of these sweet babies.

[–]RobinTheBrave 0 points1 point ago

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That's pretty cool but it oly replaces the fun bit, and still leaves you to stack the wood, which is the tedious bit.

What's the big rotating drum for?

[–]linkthelink 0 points1 point ago

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That wood is probably a pretty soft wood, mechanically speaking and even literally speaking.

Also, "but he sure makes efficient (german) use of it".

[–]DanyArcher 8 points9 points ago

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Because you're too smart.

[–]FendersFerry 1 point2 points ago

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A loggers grill.

[–]zombiebunnie 1 point2 points ago

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Because you spend all your time on reddit.

[–]waterdevil19 1 point2 points ago

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Because that's way more trouble than it's worth.

[–]corran2015 1 point2 points ago

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An old trapper I know pours just a drop of gasoline in there to help get it started. If you've got a chainsaw the gas shouldn't be hard to come by.

[–]watchthenlearn 1 point2 points ago

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In the past month of reddit, I have seen this Swedish torch 3 times now....

[–]girth_worm 1 point2 points ago

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because it's already been on the front page and you have not.

[–]s0lari 1 point2 points ago

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It isn't a Swedish torch, but a finnish torch: Jätkänkynttilä in finnish, that is!

[–]Asdayasman 3 points4 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C421eCGFB74

Now can people stop posting retarded shit about this, please?

[–]FoxyGrampa 1 point2 points ago

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because you probably have access to a stove

[–]slartzy 0 points1 point ago

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waste time on internet

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dacezza 0 points1 point ago

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Then Laziness can be the father...

[–]DjKiDD 0 points1 point ago

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protip

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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I blame the DMV.

[–]CoffeeNTrees 0 points1 point ago

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I was gonna think up shit like this, but i got high

[–]bht123 0 points1 point ago

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because the swedish torch has been around for along time

[–]Nikonverse 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder how long that would actually stay up for

[–]thedeejus 0 points1 point ago

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If you've just got a chainsaw lying around, why wouldn't you have a hibachi as well

[–]IMakeIce 0 points1 point ago

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Poor prioritization of available funds.

Moral: Don't impulse buy that chainsaw.

[–]Crazybastard6996 0 points1 point ago

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Haha I've done this and it works awesome

[–]awholelotacurly 0 points1 point ago

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probably because it would lose its stability before it cooked your food.

[–]krugnasty 0 points1 point ago

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Whatever is in that skillet I want

[–]epSos-DE 0 points1 point ago

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Nice !!!

[–]A_DERPING_ULTRALISK 0 points1 point ago

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Nah you don't need to think of new shit; just find old, successful posts and repost them... Oh wait, you did...

[–]Nechronic420 0 points1 point ago

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That handle is gonna be hot as fuck.

[–]risto1116 0 points1 point ago

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Fire. Is there anything it isn't good for?

[–]terkaderp 0 points1 point ago

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because its been reposted several fucking times

[–]charliehenryrufus 0 points1 point ago

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Supplies reason as to why you are uncreative

Is uncreative in doing so.

[–]fimmwolf 0 points1 point ago

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all this picture needs is a guy on a buffalooooh

[–]CarolynManson 0 points1 point ago

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Balls

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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from stove to furniture

[–]Lorindol 0 points1 point ago

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In Finland we call these "jätkänkynttilä", which would translate into "The Lumberjack's Candles"..

That's right, unlike the Swedes we had the imagination to name them after something else than ourselves ;)

[–]bluebomber 0 points1 point ago

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The same reason you can't find anything original to post on Reddit.

[–]redisant 0 points1 point ago

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They sell these pre-cut at the walmart near my house.

[–]ajaxwhat 0 points1 point ago

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That's hot.

[–]jiminjeep 0 points1 point ago

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It would appear that the redditors that post in this thread do not care for a woodsmans' ingenuity. For what it's worth, OP, I will be trying this method out next weekend, thatnks for turning me on to it. I'll also be trying the tire splitting technique that was posted elesewhere in this thread.

[–]davelog 0 points1 point ago

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Because you're not clever. Also, you kind of smell like bananas.

[–]lagopodous 0 points1 point ago

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Im sorry but if you have to make a swedish fire torch with a chain saw, you might as well give away your testes for cancer research because you are not a man.

[–]DCM 0 points1 point ago

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This is pretty lame. It would make a huge mess and you risk the log deteriorating and all your shit spilling out.

[–]Volsana 0 points1 point ago

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We think alike!

[–]JosephStylin -1 points0 points ago

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Why does it matter if you can't think of it? Reposting gave you an assload of karma.

[–]typtyphus -1 points0 points ago

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It would burn harder if it had a hole from top to bottom.

[–]FedEx1 -1 points0 points ago

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Because you don't want to have your food falling on the pavement as a result of a failing structure caused by fire?

[–]CoinShot -1 points0 points ago

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This kills the log

[–]TerrordactylYOU -1 points0 points ago

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Well it's not really practical for one.

[–]Arkaynan -1 points0 points ago

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So let me get this straight - you can make this sweet camping stove out of a log so it will act like a burner - IF(F) - you happened to pack a chainsaw in your camping gear. If you brought a chainsaw you probably own a camping stove...

[–]Stair_Car -1 points0 points ago

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This seems awfully wasteful. An entire log for one pan of food? What do you do with the rest of the fire?

[–]i_am_not_a_derp -1 points0 points ago

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That's a waste of wood...you could cook so much more if it was chopped

[–]SiKHPRiME -2 points-1 points ago

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Probably because you're smart enough to know that soon enough, the logs will fall apart, and the food will hit the floor, all of your hard work will have gone to waste.

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