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WTF

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Words do not describe this (NSFW) (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Darkforces134

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[–]Herzogsteve 84 points85 points ago

That´s from Grimm Prairie Tales! I haven´t seen that for at least 15 years!

[–]mocotazo 21 points22 points ago

Main thing I remember about that scene is that he shouts "OH JENNY, THANK YOU" in the middle of sex.

[–]Rusty-Shackleford 3 points4 points ago

I'm going to say this to my wife next time we make sweet love, and her name ain't even Jenny neither!

[–]Joeydafox 2 points3 points ago

it's Nancy

edit: but she's cheating on you with John Redcorn

[–]FunkiPorcini 4 points5 points ago

He should have strapped a board to his ass! I remember that movie

[–]skippingape 1 point2 points ago

I would say that you almost "nailed" it........oh god. I'm leaving now.

[–]MadLintElf 8 points9 points ago

Bingo, I still have nightmares about that one.

Upvote for you

[–]HerpingtonDerpDerp 3 points4 points ago

Joe Bob Briggs covered this movie. That scene freaked him out big time.

[–]lithodora 1 point2 points ago

I think the best part is the tagline from the movie according to IMDB:

Taglines: I was sucked in!

[–]Delthram 1 point2 points ago

My dad showed me this when I was a kid. That's probably why I wouldn't even date a girl till I was 17. To this day I still have nightmares that my wife is going to suck me in...

[–]BasqueInGlory 241 points242 points ago

Isn't this how American Gods started?

[–]Strug-ga-ling 77 points78 points ago

Yep, this is what Bilquis, AKA The Queen of Sheeba, does to her clients when posing as a prostitute. She asks the men to "worship" her, then straight up absorbs them into her lady parts.

[–]Timzor 24 points25 points ago

My mum bought me this book because I like Dr Who. I think I may have to read it now

[–]Strug-ga-ling 18 points19 points ago

You definitely should, it's good stuff.

[–]citizen_reddit 2 points3 points ago

The 10th anniversary edition was a better read in my opinion, so hopefully that's the one you she got you.

[–]Lavernius_Tucker 9 points10 points ago

what was changed in it?

[–]captainbeardo 1 point2 points ago

Some of the words I'm guessing.

(seriously answer this though because I want to know)

[–]Lavernius_Tucker 0 points1 point ago

I want to respond to this sarcastically, but I agree with you so I do not wish to offend.

[–]citizen_reddit 1 point2 points ago

Well, it is the author's preferred edition; I believe it is somewhere around 10,000 words longer than the previously released versions.

Basically, it includes plot points that Gaiman enjoyed and felt added to the story, but that his editor at the time did not.

Note - apparently the 'preferred edition' has long been available in the UK, but the 10th anniversary release made it widespread.

[–]Lavernius_Tucker 0 points1 point ago

Sweet Jesus I need to find a copy inmediatamente!

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]mindglitch 1 point2 points ago

    Strangely sexy.

    [–]Strug-ga-ling 0 points1 point ago

    Yeah, and there are certainly worse ways to die. The way I read it, Bilquis seemed to absorb their bodies and their souls, or essence. Maybe they lived on through her, and got to experience countless sexy adventures.

    [–]whochrisis 15 points16 points ago

    I know Neil Gaiman is working on a pilot script for a television series, but this is certainly not that.

    [–]Zenyatoo 22 points23 points ago

    There's a chapter in American Gods where a certain god basically does this to a client. It was actually pretty damn hot.

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

    I listened to the audiobook instead. Hearing that scene read in a moist yet raspy elderly man's voice was not as enchanting of an experience.

    [–]My_Life_For_Zoidberg 1 point2 points ago

    Maybe not to you; but damn, it was making me all hot and bothered.

    [–]trilltrillian 7 points8 points ago

    I forgot about that scene...time to reread American Gods!

    [–]skymind 1 point2 points ago

    Oh man. I've been "reading" this book all year. This was the last thing I read. I suck at reading for fun during the school year unless it's on the internet of course.

    [–]trilltrillian 0 points1 point ago

    I love reading, but I'm painfully slow at it. I don't get how people can just breeze through books and retain all the information. Anansi Boys is a good followup to American Gods. Same universe, mostly different characters, not quite a sequel. I recommend it, whenever you eventually finish American Gods.

    [–]skymind 1 point2 points ago

    I'm not even a slow reader is the thing, it's just I really like just having a ton of time to sit down and relax. At my house in the summer we have a nice sun room where I like to read, but there isn't really a nice to place in the dorms at school and I don't want to go to the library on weekend when I have time for leisure reading. It'll get read though.

    [–]Schamus 1 point2 points ago

    Along with the indian god that shot fiery semen.

    [–]jonuggs 0 points1 point ago

    Yes. HBO has optioned it. They're looking at 6 seasons if it all goes to plan.

    [–]Craigellachie 3 points4 points ago

    What a great book.

    [–]blizznjizz 3 points4 points ago

    Damn. Came here to say this. Truly a fun book with a beginning like that.

    [–]CupandSaucer 3 points4 points ago

    I really appreciate being able to count on Redditors to notice good book references.

    [–]JaRay 1 point2 points ago

    This definitely oozes American Gods.

    [–]cognificent 1 point2 points ago

    Something like this happened in a short 'Coming to America' vignette in American Gods, but wasn't part of the main story.

    [–]JH4MES 5 points6 points ago

    It's the Queen of Sheba and a client and not a vignette. Just heard the audio book.

    [–]never_enough_puns 1 point2 points ago

    I was going to say the same.

    [–]wrecksvehicles 0 points1 point ago

    Precisely

    [–]derekferguson942 0 points1 point ago

    Came here to say this.

    [–]Kidrota 0 points1 point ago

    I came back here too say I got it from reading these comments . First chapter hooked me about halfway thru now . Thank you guys oh and it's the tenth anniversary edition.

    [–]Nukls 166 points167 points ago

    He came, and went.

    [–]Replies_With_GIFs 16 points17 points ago

    http://i.imgur.com/mzIqm.gif

    [–]drhugs 8 points9 points ago

    I like Tina. She seems nice.

    [–]martymcfly85 4 points5 points ago

    definitely a lady you can show off to your folks

    [–]dbhanger 3 points4 points ago

    It must be annoying to have boobs in the way of your arms.

    [–]woah_notcoolbro 1 point2 points ago

    The most clever comment I've ever read. Why doesn't this have thousands of upvotes?

    [–]expandingmess 63 points64 points ago

    pillowpants got him

    [–]chairmanxiao 4 points5 points ago

    Upvote because Clerks.

    [–]askjacob 5 points6 points ago*

    (2)

    edit: downvoted because listerfiend?

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]KosherK 354 points355 points ago

      Two people, both mostly clothed, are having sex outside in standard missionary postion with the woman on the bottom. The man seems to climax at which point he is sucked, clothes and all, into the woman vagina - much to his apparent surprise.

      Described in 42 words

      [–]honest_ed 221 points222 points ago

      man gets sucked into vag

      5 words

      [–]towelie1 90 points91 points ago

      maninvag. one.

      [–]probably42 39 points40 points ago

      Feeuq.

      Sound effect. <- as in; not even a word.

      [–]towelie1 3 points4 points ago*

      You, me, and runcible_spoon could be friends.

      [–]SpaceCowboy734 3 points4 points ago

      ...Ya wanna get high?

      [–]rakista 0 points1 point ago

      Wanna fuck?

      [–]biggus_dickuss 4 points5 points ago

      When you finish fucking you might wanna wipe off all that cum to avoid catching a cold. So don't forget to bring a towel.

      [–]CPTSaltyDog 1 point2 points ago

      my cousins name was biggus dickuss...

      [–]crybaby5 0 points1 point ago

      he had a wife you know

      [–]almikez 4 points5 points ago

      this is like a weird version of TEETH

      [–]Elimrawne 2 points3 points ago

      "a weird version of teeth"?! ... listen to yourself! lol

      [–]Macdoogle 2 points3 points ago

      Antibirth.

      [–]stoor 3 points4 points ago

      invag. .5

      [–]Teekoo 2 points3 points ago

      There's probably one word in German which perfectly describes this.

      [–]johnnynutman 3 points4 points ago

      succubus!

      [–]Ixidane 1 point2 points ago

      Came.

      1 word.

      [–]MiteCrow 8 points9 points ago

      God damn that book

      [–]bflizzle 16 points17 points ago

      American Gods... Or something? That book?

      [–]Jennbott 11 points12 points ago

      Just started reading American Gods and I had to reread that chapter twice before I was like, "Yep, her vagina just swallowed that man whole."

      [–]Xmaspast 2 points3 points ago

      That was the first thing I thought of too.

      [–]MiteCrow 1 point2 points ago

      Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.

      It has actually caused me to associate the number 42 with it and if anyone ever asks me to say a random number its usually 42. Whenever I even see the number 42 im always reminded of that book, its funny but a little bit frustrating >.<

      [–]koy5 6 points7 points ago

      The perfect definition of my fetish.

      6 words

      [–]SpudgeBoy 7 points8 points ago

      standard missionary postion with the woman on the bottom

      You could have described in less words, since:

      with the woman on the bottom

      is redundant when describing the missionary position.

      [–]AQUA2 7 points8 points ago

      What if the woman is wearing a 15" strap on?

      [–]SpudgeBoy 19 points20 points ago

      Then it probably isn't missionary.

      [–]Nymaz 8 points9 points ago

      Televangelist?

      [–]SpudgeBoy 2 points3 points ago

      Porn lover.

      [–]rakista 2 points3 points ago

      Mission to explore brave new worlds.

      [–]ArthurRiot 1 point2 points ago

      I notice you didn't argue whether or not it was standard...

      [–]SpudgeBoy 1 point2 points ago

      Usually the guy doesn't get sucked into the vagina. So, this would be non-standard.

      [–]ArthurRiot 1 point2 points ago

      I had assumed we were now speaking of the strap-on. My error.

      [–]SpudgeBoy 0 points1 point ago

      I guess that would depend on if you were in Germany.

      load more comments (2 replies)

        [–]IceOnFire97 0 points1 point ago

        42...

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]encee_rz 34 points35 points ago

          Reverse queef.

          [–]runcible_spoon 29 points30 points ago

          Feeuq

          [–]thedefiant 5 points6 points ago

          wow i feel retarded to not get it the first time at the top...

          [–]DiversityOfThoughts 0 points1 point ago

          I just have to say, I freaking love your username. A fellow Neal Asher fan?

          [–]runcible_spoon 0 points1 point ago

          I just now looked up Neal Asher, I'll give him a read, thanks for the mention

          [–]DiversityOfThoughts 0 points1 point ago

          Seriously? The Runcible is a pretty big technological part of his world and the "spoon" is part of the runcible. Although, I do recall that in the books the character who invented the technology got its name from a poem. Would your username be from that poem then?

          [–]runcible_spoon 0 points1 point ago

          I read the term in a poem, looked it up, and found it was another term for a "spork" So I adopted the name

          [–]runcible_spoon 0 points1 point ago

          PS, what Neal Asher book should I start with, Gridlinked?

          [–]DiversityOfThoughts 0 points1 point ago

          Yup, Gridlinked is probably the best one to start with. I started with The Shadow of the Scorpion which was a bit of mistake; it's a prequel.

          The Agent Cormac series is great. Good, action sci-fi.

          [–]ZekeD 0 points1 point ago

          It sounds like some sort of accented way of saying "FUUUUCK"

          [–]Strug-ga-ling 15 points16 points ago

          Huh, I didn't know Bilquis from American Gods had her own movie.

          [–]Sinbiote 0 points1 point ago

          Thank god someone else thought of this. I was actually questioning whether there was an American Gods movie I'd never heard of...

          [–]woodenwarship 10 points11 points ago

          Here's a link to the video

          [–]AlcardeMiller 10 points11 points ago

          [Relevant] http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51FYk4yNq8L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

          [–]w2sjw 3 points4 points ago

          Did anyone else click on the pic for the hell of it?

          Yeah, me neither...

          [–]Ixidane 1 point2 points ago

          The best part is how the skeletons are just like "Dat Ass"

          [–]NoRaptors 0 points1 point ago

          "Click to LOOK INSIDE the Haunted Vagina!"

          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

          DM:HS

          [–]xxneoxx3000 7 points8 points ago

          Thanks, now I have Vagiphobia.

          [–]recursive 14 points15 points ago

          If you're on reddit, there's a good chance you already had it.

          [–]midnite17 8 points9 points ago

          Vore level: impossible

          [–]devinlucifer 3 points4 points ago

          What was that from?

          [–]mocotazo 2 points3 points ago

          Grim Prairie Tales, 1990 Western Horror flick.

          [–]SolomonKull 2 points3 points ago

          I see you've met my ex wife...

          [–]iamthedecider 0 points1 point ago

          Linda?

          [–]jeremiahfira 4 points5 points ago

          Seems like a representation of a scene from "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman.

          [–]rstuckmaier 9 points10 points ago

          Doesn't matter; had sex.

          [–]Splitzy 1 point2 points ago

          All loves have to die - of that there's no help;
          My favourite way to end em'
          Is the orb-weaver spider's, whose pedipalp
          Enters the female pudendum,

          Then dies on the spot, his corpse there still stuck,
          Left for his rivals to curse it.
          He would rather die than not get to fuck.
          Personally, I reckon it's worth it.

          -TISM

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]Catonlap 2 points3 points ago

            Happens all the time.. I think.

            [–]dirtymoney 2 points3 points ago

            I remember seeing this. She was a pregnant woman all on her own looking for help from strangers. This is how she gets by.... she finds some stranger, suddenly is not pregnant anymore, seduces him and then sucks him in so she appears pregnant again.. I think it was set in cowboy days.

            I think this is from one of those scary story movie compilations like creepshow.

            [–]boyrahett 2 points3 points ago

            Should have tied a 2x4 to his ass

            [–]scribble88 2 points3 points ago

            so i had pink floyd blasting when i watched this, and the exact second he gets sucked into the vag, there was a sucking sound on the album that lasted as long as it took for him to disappear. fucking creepy

            [–]NolanVoid 1 point2 points ago

            Grim Prairie Tales. Scared the ever loving shit out of me as a child.

            [–]monstehr 1 point2 points ago

            yeah yeah, don't stick your dick in crazy. We get it!

            [–]butts_lol 1 point2 points ago

            At least he'll be warm in there

            [–]JayZee88 1 point2 points ago

            My dream.

            [–]N4N4KI 1 point2 points ago

            Cunt vore, not nearly as weird as cock vore.

            [–]theblackcat983 1 point2 points ago

            Masturbation... PERSONIFIED

            [–]nomaddamon 1 point2 points ago

            The Vagina Monologues 2: Director's Cut.

            [–]The_Almighty_Mr_Kite 1 point2 points ago

            Wow, she really sucks in bed.

            [–]Delfishie 1 point2 points ago

            Is Neil Gaiman directing porn videos again?

            [–]BigJohnful 1 point2 points ago

            In mother Russia, Vagina eat you !

            [–]slpgrad 1 point2 points ago

            "ive made a huge mistake"

            [–]boba79 1 point2 points ago

            Rick Santorum's acting debut? He does look eerily similar....

            [–]MFchimichanga 2 points3 points ago

            Murderous vaginas should be the next hot thing after vampires.

            [–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

            have you seen TEETH?

            [–]PanFlute 11 points12 points ago

            I just bought that. Did not disappoint. Neither did Hobo With A Shotgun.

            Link may be NSFW.

            [–]megatom0 0 points1 point ago

            Hobo with a Shotgun was amazing. Demon murder robots at the end that has a gun that hangs people was fucking genius. That movie was a video game with all the cheat codes on.

            [–]JackassPenguinass 0 points1 point ago

            I was thinking the same thing. Could not bring myself to finish that movie...

            load more comments (1 reply)

              [–][deleted] ago

              [deleted]

              [–]Jennyd242 0 points1 point ago

              That video was damn near hypnotic.

              [–]OmniSmilie 0 points1 point ago

              For about a minute and a half I was like "Does it stand for dolphin penis?" I was disappointed.

              [–]TheDude- 1 point2 points ago

              Atleast he didn't get the one with teeth.

              [–]upchuckle 1 point2 points ago

              Scrolled through the comments expecting a reference to Teeth.... further down than expected

              [–]Elliptical_Tangent 0 points1 point ago

              It describes the sensation perfectly, though.

              [–]choooo 0 points1 point ago

              kinda reminded me of the movie penetration angst, some '03 UK Trashmovie about a men eating vagina.

              [–]cjojojo 2 points3 points ago

              Not sure if it was supposed to be "men eating a vagina" or "man-eating vagina"

              [–]bcris003 0 points1 point ago

              They just did

              [–]Jon_Locked 0 points1 point ago

              So that's what happened to Edward Norton's career.

              [–]iam100125 0 points1 point ago

              I hate it when that happens.

              [–]beatbreak 0 points1 point ago

              This Happened to me

              [–]lordmagus 0 points1 point ago

              Where is this from? Was this actually part of a movie?

              [–]Qurothers 0 points1 point ago

              this shit scarred me as a kid.

              [–]alyeska13 0 points1 point ago

              two words. your mom

              [–]JBChalupa 0 points1 point ago

              Those girls with big vaginas are getting away with murder!

              [–]omni_presents 0 points1 point ago

              we can try: man gets sucked into a vagina

              [–]Sarah_Connor 0 points1 point ago

              Vagina of holding.

              [–]hunterszombie 0 points1 point ago

              "The Haunted Vagina"

              [–]dacookeymonsta 0 points1 point ago

              My biggest fear.

              [–]geardownson 0 points1 point ago

              Nope...just one...Snookie

              [–]Crapaholic 0 points1 point ago

              I don't know what the fuck I'm watching but I like it

              [–]xThreeDogx 0 points1 point ago

              What in the living hell did I just witness...

              [–]NickGraves 0 points1 point ago

              I still can't tell what happened to him

              [–]Ecafon 0 points1 point ago

              I think "NSFW" is a good start.

              [–]Chance80 0 points1 point ago

              DMHS!

              [–]Urbanviking1 0 points1 point ago

              ಠ_ಠ my wetdream turned into a nightmare!

              [–]MeGustaUrMom 0 points1 point ago

              That is my fetish.

              [–]TheHolyCob 0 points1 point ago

              So, Unbirth?

              [–]maineak 0 points1 point ago

              My greatest fear...

              [–]ImNakedHowBoutYou 0 points1 point ago

              Like a hotdog down a hallway...

              [–]erishun 0 points1 point ago

              DM;HS

              [–]KPplumbing 0 points1 point ago

              Feed me Seymour!

              [–]cubanlincoln 0 points1 point ago

              Basically a metaphor for a majority of heterosexual intercourse.

              [–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

              was that teeth or somthing

              [–]RandomMandarin 0 points1 point ago

              But he didn't complain.

              [–]IchTuDerWeh 0 points1 point ago

              Lucky guy, Ive always wanted to hang out in my girlfriends vagina

              [–]peteandrepete 0 points1 point ago

              It's what happens if you don't pull out to let her queef every so often.... True Story.

              [–]osm0sis 0 points1 point ago

              When she said, "come inside me" she had no idea what was in store...

              [–]UzwellUzington 0 points1 point ago

              I don't see what is so WTF about this, everyone knows vags are like blackholes.

              [–]maxp0wah 0 points1 point ago

              Michelle Joyner?

              [–]WeekendWarrior25 0 points1 point ago

              Doesn't matter. Had sex.

              [–]2dfx 0 points1 point ago

              Poor Wil Wheaton

              [–]YeNdEz 0 points1 point ago

              Looks like Pillowpants had his was with this man, he should have waited for her to turn 18.

              [–]t0wn 0 points1 point ago

              Oh look. It's this post. Again.

              [–]BHisa 0 points1 point ago

              I know one word that can describe it: Repost.

              [–]Canadian_Infidel 0 points1 point ago

              I saw this movie when I was eight...

              [–]HawkRod 0 points1 point ago

              Now just give birth to yourself

              [–]Mr_Question 0 points1 point ago

              omg WTF HAPPENED TO HIM!

              [–]Roflou 0 points1 point ago

              I do the same thing with jello cups

              [–]Teekoo 0 points1 point ago

              That is fucking hot tbh. I regularly fantasize about fucking a demon woman who cuts my head off after sex.

              [–]bunnygurl 0 points1 point ago

              Go on...

              [–]northbayray 0 points1 point ago

              Oh my god. This must be what happened to all of my friends.

              [–]Oniwabanshu 0 points1 point ago

              orgasm?

              [–]Rflkt 0 points1 point ago

              The other black hole

              [–]StalkingFeet 0 points1 point ago

              "How deep is your love........hole?"

              [–]lucilletwo 0 points1 point ago

              Now she is your puppet and you can control her from the inside.

              [–]ScreamingAloudInside 0 points1 point ago

              Saw that before on Eka's Portal. 'tis funny.

              [–]flibitboat 0 points1 point ago

              vagina dentata!!! vagina dentata!!!

              [–]dlandrso 0 points1 point ago

              some tell me why, PLEASE?

              [–]drforeverclear 0 points1 point ago

              so she was this pregnant lady who ran into this guy while traveling, she then revealed later she wasn't pregnant and wanted to sleep with him, then this happens and she looked pregnant again. No idea what it's called, but i do recall seeing this on cable many years ago

              [–]GreeneMachine1 0 points1 point ago

              SCHLLUURRRRRRRPP

              [–]Color_Bars 0 points1 point ago

              That movie sucked.

              [–]kyspeaks 0 points1 point ago

              I thought they made American Gods into a movie. :S

              [–]dorthyway 0 points1 point ago

              OH my gosh this is what comes to mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dWe3jkBfS4

              [–]treefool 0 points1 point ago

              Shoulda strapped a board across your ass, dude. This shit happens all too often in my neck of the woods.

              load more comments (7 replies)

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