"Five pearls of Scottish wisdom"...

mantisx3 · 6 months

so... does anyone have any solutions to infant malnutrition?

eddieshack · 6 months

A Scot once told me beer has more calcium than milk, and therefore milk was useless.

Roflkopt3r · 6 months

Not half bad, I only know some German wisdom (sadly the rhyme can't be translated I guess):

Iß, was gar ist,

Trink, was klar ist,

Sprich, was wahr ist,

Bums was da ist

Eat what is cooked

drink what is clear

speak what is true

fuck what is there

diMario · 6 months

For no reason at all, I would like to add this Chinese pearl of wisdom:

If screw not fit, use bigger hammer

smokecat20 · 6 months

I've been around the world, and have been on many adventures. I can tell you, this here is from an advanced race.

seafood10 · 6 months

I am Scottish and actually making Mince and Tatties right now in good ol' Los Angeles.....

SweepTheLegJohnny · 6 months

What if your problem is brittle bones and calcium deficiency?

DangerIsOurBusiness · 6 months

[deleted]

whimsicalwondering · 6 months

I first heard "it'd rather cry in a Benz than smile on the back of a bicycle" on a Chinese dating show...

Are you sure this is Scottish?

Toorstain · 6 months

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: RE: RE: Fwd: SO FUNNY OMG!

Sierra50 · 6 months

Read in Scottish accent

TumbleDryLow · 6 months

I wasn't that amused, then I started reading it in a Scottish accent. It got roughly 1707x funnier.

BelievesInGod · 6 months

Number 4 is by far the best of them all...and the sad thing is its true...

SamsquamtchHunter · 6 months

Osteoporosis... BAM, in your face Scots!

Kienkisierakarma · 6 months

The first is wrong. Everybody knows that the Scottish don't cry.

xam217 · 6 months

Read in Sean Connery's voice

Wilburre · 6 months

So... When do I get to the Scottish part?

imsittingdown · 6 months

Some Yorkshire wisdom:

'Ear all, see all, say nowt;

Eyt all, sup all, pay nowt;

And if ivver tha does owt fer nowt - Do it fer thissen.

default_android · 6 months

The first one was actually stated on a Chinese reality show similar to the one hosted by paddy mcguiness

bzeurunkl · 6 months

My fav:

"Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you the sort of misery you prefer."

Mech1 · 6 months

Best thing I've seen all day.

ScottishIain · 6 months

As I said last time this was posted, as a Scot I'm fairly sure I've never heard or seen these "pearls" in Scotland.

kmofosho · 6 months

3 is so damn true.

Batmarde · 6 months

Old jokes pinned to a wall? Take a picture!

PDNYFL · 6 months

Well I've never seen this before!

It seems like Reddit has been taken over with 'First day on the internet' kids.

yoreatowel · 6 months

As a scott i approve.

Ryugi · 6 months

This is so beautiful.

winterandautumn · 6 months

Replace 'shoot' with 'stab' and it's spot on!

celfers · 6 months

Does anyone know what the trouble with Scotland is?

fusems · 6 months

Looks like someone just wrote five typical facebook phtases and posted to a wall.

ChollaIsNotDildo · 6 months

And let's not forget 6. "What the fuck are you lookin' a'?"

classy_stegasaurus · 6 months

The fifth one is not true if you are lactose intolerant and need an excuse to get out of something!

Ixidane · 6 months

Rickets.

ilikebooks123 · 6 months

3, so not true.

rcm21 · 6 months

False. Alcohol is used to cure methanol poisoning. If your dog ever drinks antifreeze, time to get it drunk.

Thyson234 · 6 months

Number 4 solidified your upvote

Rozurial · 6 months

a benz is a german car... fail.

btmims · 6 months

Really? Milk doesn't solve anything? Google GOMAD. It solved my problem.

i_inhale_repellents · 6 months

This is so truthy.

whosthatlounging · 6 months

Moving to Scotland in a few days, I'll try to remember those.

Manwelle · 6 months

My internet was being crap earlier and this image wouldn't load so I assumed it was supposed to be blurred lol almost liked it more that way

katlaish · 6 months

did anybody else read that in a Scottish accent?

Gingerinthesun · 6 months

You know you read this in a Scottish accent.

Akmafojo422 · 6 months

LOL at number 2. "Looks like haggis is back on the menu, boys"

ZomBrains · 6 months

I remember a sign like this in Dooley's pub, Eau Claire, WI

Abscheu · 6 months

I wish I could upboat this more.

batladyknows · 6 months

This ought to be a bilboard.

tbear2500 · 6 months

Can I double-upvote this?

jimbo_baggins · 6 months

I can fap to this.

NoBarsOpenNow · 6 months

Good one! Made me laugh!

sonce · 6 months

Scottish people are smart.

herroazn · 6 months

milk...was a bad choice...

cowpunter · 6 months

False! Ethanol is the antidote to methanol poisoning.

Anderson0330 · 6 months

That first quote seems like a rip-off of a recent Chinese saying: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english2010/indepth/2010-06/04/c_13332993.htm

Black_Apalachi · 6 months

#3 is shockingly true, #4 is hilarious, but #5 simply isn't true.

Xtianpro · 6 months

If I had to right a list of the worst advice I possible could, it would look something like this.

citizen_coping · 6 months

6: Beware of the knife.

officeface · 6 months

Milk solves all of life's problems.

941626460 · 6 months

hehehe

ripslit · 6 months

Ah, Scots: the Jews of the Isles.

knoechel · 6 months

Neither premise of #5 is true.

RiperSnifle · 6 months

"but then neither does milk"
False. Crying babies are often silenced with milk.

S_Knox · 6 months

5 rules of Scrooge McDuck

AdziiMate · 6 months

"5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then neither does milk"

Except alcohol causes them, and milk doesn't.

redditspice · 6 months

Scottish Wisdom is an oxymoron

Hal9_ooo · 6 months

[deleted]

funny

MODERATORS

3 is so damn true.

3, so not true.

3 is shockingly true

6: Beware of the knife.

funny

MODERATORS

3 is so damn true.

3, so not true.

3 is shockingly true

6: Beware of the knife.

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