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all 196 comments

[–]NRadd 527 points528 points ago

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I've found out that most women love it when a guy washes their hair for them. It's one of those sensual kind of things that gets her to close her eyes and relax as you gently massage the shampoo in, and rinse out her hair. After that they don't seem to mind if you scrub their tits until they turn bright pink.

[–]justanewb 163 points164 points ago

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You are a hero among men.

[–]Quickben33 48 points49 points ago

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A hero among young men. This only works until about 45. After that, well, it's boobs in the dark.

[–]quirky2000 37 points38 points ago

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Are you kidding? Soaping up some boobage never gets old.

[–]Scrappled 50 points51 points ago

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I dont think you understand

[–]bru_tech 38 points39 points ago

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when you're on your knees, then it's time to hang up the boob scrubbage

[–]Asdayasman 27 points28 points ago

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And the boobs.

[–]HaiEverybody 13 points14 points ago

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The boobs are getting saggy from all the boob scrubbage. CANT YOU SEE!?!?!

[–]Asdayasman 5 points6 points ago

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I was thinking more some sort of harness for the boobs, that would reposition the fronts of them, making them visually more horrifying, but would imply people shouldn't point that out.

[–]BakulaSelleck92 2 points3 points ago

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A boob harness you say? Why hasn't this been invented???

Oh, wait.

[–]bensully 1 point2 points ago

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Too much of a good thing

[–]Megadanxzero 37 points38 points ago

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I'm male, and even I love someone else washing my hair. There's something about having your scalp rubbed that feels so good...

[–]Obliviousobi 6 points7 points ago

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This, I also like going and getting my hair cut for similar reasons -shrug-

[–]Hubris2 4 points5 points ago

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Depends. If you go to a barber, they cut your hair and make it look good, for a few dollars. If you go to a hair salon, an attractive woman will shampoo your hair, give you a scalp massage, and possibly find excuse to rub her boobs against you a couple times - or lean forward when your head is back over the sink.

Both have their place.

[–]lighthouse_storm 0 points1 point ago

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If you go to a barber, they cut your hair and make it look good, for a few dollars

The cheap part yes, but look good? I wish.

[–]Wetmelon 0 points1 point ago

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Nah, my barber does a really good job of making my hair look good. Better than any "salon" I've gone to previously.

[–]Megadanxzero 2 points3 points ago

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Hmm, I enjoy that a lot less, but mostly because I can't talk to people I don't know and I feel insanely awkward...

[–]Obliviousobi 2 points3 points ago

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That's understandable, where I usually go there are a few that will talk your ear off, but they always have sports on tvs at each station and they don't really care if you don't say anything.

[–]polarityomg 2 points3 points ago

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Sport Clips! The answer for every male who hates conversing during a haircut. I do like the women who will talk to me about sports, though.

[–]Obliviousobi 2 points3 points ago

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Hell yes Sports Clips! A bit expensive, but worth it.

[–]HaiEverybody 33 points34 points ago

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I'm going to put this away in my memory bank could prove useful later on.

[–]melez 20 points21 points ago

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Noted. Shampoo then boobs.

[–]battleshits 8 points9 points ago

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Mine really likes in when she's washing her own hair, and just after rinsing realizes I am peeing on her.

I usually don't get to shower with her for a few days afterwards.

[–]ColorsLikeSPACESHIPS 3 points4 points ago

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it doesn't matter. you've proven your dominance and marked your territory in one fell swoop. good man.

[–]lowrads 2 points3 points ago

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I don't see why this seems novel.

Primates have entire hierarchies based around grooming.

[–]trumpet_23 2 points3 points ago

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I tried that with my last girlfriend, she didn't want me anywhere near her hair.

[–]John_Fx 2 points3 points ago

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That's like riding the swing set at a theme park.

[–]teamhex 4 points5 points ago

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I like my hair washed and I'm a guy. I used to have longer hair and would have them wash it before cutting. Heaven on earth sirs.

[–]Mr_Metropolis 1 point2 points ago

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Why have I not thought of this? Why, NRadd? Why?

[–]yomommaspimp 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you sir.

No longer will polishing milk bubbles be a fight to the death for us admirers of such beauty.

[–]slamberry 0 points1 point ago

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thank you.

[–]andrew35133 0 points1 point ago

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I'll have to remember this.... thanks

[–]Pdoubleoty 0 points1 point ago

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My favorite is getting both of you very soapy, and then having an intense make out slippery slidey grabby squeezy session. good times.

[–]Eain 0 points1 point ago

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This is so true. The scalp is so sensitive to gentle pulls that stroking and washing the hair feels amazing to them. In addition, gently "ghost-touch" gliding fingers across anything sensitive, from her face to the small of her back, and yes even her lips (either pair) is amazingly arrousing and pleasurable: it stimulates the skin in a very sensual way. Source: my love life

[–]jonnie5 363 points364 points ago

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More like I stand in the cold while she hangs out under the water.

[–]Dadatina 88 points89 points ago

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I tell my boyfriend to get out of the shower because he'll be cold and he still wants to stay to scrub my lady parts.

[–]bru_tech 158 points159 points ago

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It's a small price to pay

[–]Dadatina 33 points34 points ago

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He loves it anyways and I don't complain (obviously).

[–]The_Restricted 7 points8 points ago

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Note to future self: Get multi-directional shower in future.

[–]Grammar-Hitler 35 points36 points ago*

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I tell my boyfriend to get out of the shower because he'll be cold and he still wants to stay to scrub my lady parts.

Now you know what to get for his birthday. Or, if you're rich, this.

[–]Dadatina 16 points17 points ago

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Holy crap those are awesome.

[–]Grammar-Hitler 5 points6 points ago

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You might want to shop around.

[–]Dadatina 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah I'm from Argentina. Even if my poor student self could afford the shower head, shipping would cost around 3-4 times that. Thanks for the idea, though :)

[–]Grammar-Hitler 28 points29 points ago

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Yeah I'm from Argentina. Even if my poor student self could afford the shower head, shipping would cost around 3-4 times that. Thanks for the idea, though :)

Solution.

[–]Ax3boy 8 points9 points ago

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You can make a fancier one if you take some time to learn how plumbing fixtures work, for a fraction of the price. But I like your simplistic alternative, it's beautiful.

[–]Grammar-Hitler 0 points1 point ago

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You can make a fancier one if you take some time to learn how plumbing fixtures work,

about how much time would that be?

[–]Noblerevenge -1 points0 points ago

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Four score and seven years ago...

[–]Dadatina 7 points8 points ago

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Genius.

[–]Crepti 5 points6 points ago

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This man right here.

[–]Sodfarm 9 points10 points ago

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The pitiful water pressure in my shower would probably make implementing this even less useful than just having the one shower head.

[–]Grammar-Hitler 1 point2 points ago

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The pitiful water pressure in my shower would probably make implementing this even less useful than just having the one shower head.

You could use low-flow shower heads, or save even more money and just use a safety pin to prick little clusters of holes in the hose.

[–]heracleides 4 points5 points ago

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hentacle shower

[–]skyshock21 4 points5 points ago

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[–]MusicFan06 2 points3 points ago

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"Captain's Quarters". Sold.

[–]chasemedown 1 point2 points ago

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make sure your water pressure is high enough before you get these. i had something similar to [1], but the water pressure at the apartment i lived in at the time was not strong enough so water just kind of trickled down the 3 shower heads. very disappointing.

[–]Grammar-Hitler 0 points1 point ago*

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You'd need to have a plumber install one of these, or competitors equivalent. See how it is set up?

EDIT: If you apartment doesn't have access to the water heater, you can get a shower pump.

[–]chasemedown 0 points1 point ago

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Ahh.. this information would have been very helpful a few years ago when I had it haha

[–]stardonis 1 point2 points ago

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There are worse fates.

[–]Rexonspix 10 points11 points ago

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My parents law just built a new house, there is two showers in the bathroom :D

[–]Holden-Magroine 43 points44 points ago

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You know they probably fuck in there.

[–]ChadFeldheimer 2 points3 points ago

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That's the point isn't it?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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That's great news for your future, buddy :-)

[–]DeliciousRazorCereal 10 points11 points ago

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this this this

[–]DarkSideofOZ 1 point2 points ago

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I tell my gf this, she continues to ask. I've come to the conclusion from this and other observations that she's a sadist.

[–]CunderscoreF 0 points1 point ago

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That mist is the worst...it just makes you even colder

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ksojaro 13 points14 points ago

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[–]Krizzy 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Grammar-Hitler 1 point2 points ago

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[–]writesomethingwitty 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, that and 5:48 ruined my childhood.

[–]cokedick_louie 20 points21 points ago

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I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

[–]terrawr -3 points-2 points ago

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I read somewhere on the internet where boobs were only erotic to us (Americans) because they were covered up, so in other cultures us finding boobs a turn on was weird. I wonder if cultures that cover up the woman's entire body finds a bare shoulder mind-blowingly erotic. I guess it was like that in the US when women couldn't show the ankle or thigh or whatever part was illegal to show. Hahah take a super conservative dude from the 20's or 30's and then show them the shit on the internet.

[–]lobstertainment 0 points1 point ago

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Because it is only in the USA that women's garb covers the boobs ಠ_ಠ

[–]terrawr 0 points1 point ago

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Well I was comparing it to something like the tribes in the jungle. They find it weird that adults are fixed on something meant to feed children. And I meant us (Americans) because I'm an USian and can't speak for the rest of the world which I guess was misinterpreted. Dang it feels like I made the comment weeks ago.

[–]iGorillaz 33 points34 points ago

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What? I watched this show all the time, how could i be so stupid to not notice this?

[–]norvegov 123 points124 points ago*

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Wasn't from when the show aired on TV. It's from "The Lost Episodes" dvd. Here is the very NSFW video

Edit: It was originally made for the SpikeTV relaunch of the series but never aired.

Edit2: I'm being informed that it did in fact air but the show was pulled shortly after when the network got cold feet about showing nipples. Look, I'm no Ren and Stimpy lore scholar here.

[–]dixiegunsmoke 48 points49 points ago

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How many people can say they got a boner watching ren and stimpy?

[–]doomtaco 9 points10 points ago

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The answer is in the upvotes it received.

[–]ENKC 9 points10 points ago

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We don't want to know the answer to this question.

[–]Legionaairre 7 points8 points ago

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Fuck you, I wanna know.

[–]Havokzzz 5 points6 points ago

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Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.

[–]thattallfellow 2 points3 points ago

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MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRR

[–]Eluriel 15 points16 points ago

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SHAMPOOO MASTEEEEEERRR!!

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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What the fuck did I just watch

[–]InanimatePhoenix 20 points21 points ago

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I guess it's safe to say you don't know about the episode where Ren gets Stimpy pregnant.

[–]Dragon_yum 14 points15 points ago

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Wait what?

[–]themanvic451 3 points4 points ago

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was this made BEFORE or AFTER Nickelodeon cancelled it?

[–]norvegov 11 points12 points ago

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Apparently it was one of a number of episodes for the SpikeTV relaunch of the series in 2003 but was never shown on TV. In this also NSFW video creator John Kricfalusi explains what exactly happened. NSFW content follows his explanation.

[–]Bow_Ties_Are_Cool 3 points4 points ago

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He's totally banging her.

[–]mrhappyoz 5 points6 points ago

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It was shown in Australia :)

[–]evilbob 8 points9 points ago

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Sshh! The Americans say it wasn't shown on tv. Therefore, it was not shown on tv.

[–]BaconChapstick 1 point2 points ago

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Pretty sure it's on netflix too, or at least it used to be.

[–]Mazzasaurus_Rex 2 points3 points ago

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that was actually significantly hilarious.

[–]frederik283 5 points6 points ago

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Oh my god! It's got the "yogscast theme" when shampoo man comes!

[–]BadIdeaSociety 0 points1 point ago

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This episode certainly did air. There were only 3 of the 6 episodes produced from the "Adult Party Block" session that aired before "The New TNN" got cold feet following the Janet Jackson Super Bowl incident and pulled the remaining three episodes.

[–]robreddity 0 points1 point ago

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Commentmark

[–]RickDicolus 1 point2 points ago

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I don't remember this episode either.

[–]Tomazao 12 points13 points ago

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As i get older i sometimes worry about how i am inching day by day, closer and closer to becoming Ren.

[–]foomp 9 points10 points ago

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Space madness!!!

[–]shoziku 1 point2 points ago

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It is not I that is insane, it is I that is MAD!

[–]Tomazao 3 points4 points ago

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What will happen if you click this link mayyyybe something bad, mayyyybe something good, but i guess we'll never know. cos you're going to guard it.

[–]chewieconcarne 2 points3 points ago

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You eeeeeeddddddiooooottttt

[–]tomdarch 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't that part of what makes Ren and Stimpy such great literature? It encapsulates so many deep truths about the human condition... Oh, and close ups of totally gross things.

("Glazed ham!" "Callll the poleeeece")

[–][deleted] 234 points235 points ago*

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I used to do this one thing that totally pissed off my ex-girlfriend when we showered together I would act like a retard while soaping her tits. I would say "Booobies" all mongloid like. She hated that.

EDIT: who knew this little story would generate such hate. I thought it was a cute story.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]VodkaHappens 22 points23 points ago

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I think most of us do that, BOOOOOBS!

Give a man some tits to play, and watch him downgrade a couple of evolutionary versions.

(oh and don't imagine a men with actual tits, oops now you can't avoid it)

[–]burst_bagpipe 9 points10 points ago

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The last time I showered (showerhead over a bath ) with a girl ( I hooked up with via the net ) she turned around and knocked me flying. I ended up on the floor wrapped in a shower curtain with my leg stuck in a footstool

[–]philon 17 points18 points ago

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continue...

[–]burst_bagpipe 11 points12 points ago

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I died. But then I got better.

[–]attackofthesam 0 points1 point ago

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dm,hs

[–]iLuVtiffany 48 points49 points ago

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I always say to my gf when I want to shower together.

"We need to conserve water. It's for the future of the planet."

If that doesn't work.

"This is my house, I'll do what I want! At least your boobs will be super clean."

Her reaction when I jump in.

[–]RandomedXY 125 points126 points ago

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I always wanted a black guy girlfriend!

[–]iLuVtiffany 91 points92 points ago

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It's pretty cool most of the time, until you start comparing penis sizes.

[–]boogiesbc 21 points22 points ago

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That sounded about right.

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 14 points15 points ago

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That sounded about 10 inches.

[–]pfhayter 3 points4 points ago

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You Idiot!

[–]lisa-needs-braces 23 points24 points ago

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I don't understand the appeal of shower sex. you get water in your eyes and it acts as an anti-lubricant and you slip a lot. it makes showers worse and it makes sex worse. fuck everything about shower sex.

[–]TheAvocadoBaron 54 points55 points ago

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At least it's not as bad as sex on the beach...fuck everything about beach sex. I hate sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

[–]hoss1138 27 points28 points ago

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Did you just quote Anakin Skywalker?

[–]foggart 4 points5 points ago

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I think it was Padme.

[–]ao256 1 point2 points ago

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no, it was anakin

[–]Slacker101 2 points3 points ago

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Definitely a Darth Vader quote.

[–]breakspirit 3 points4 points ago

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I recognize the quote. I can't believe you seriously quoted THAT.

[–]slamberry 3 points4 points ago

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Try laying a towel down.

[–]Sk4hammer 8 points9 points ago

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Try Screaming Seagul

[–]slamberry 5 points6 points ago

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Had to look it up. No.

[–]inkewbus 0 points1 point ago

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NOPE.

[–]AlphaKlams 1 point2 points ago

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You have clearly never been to the beach.

[–]Burbada 1 point2 points ago

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Sand took your Dad's job at the factory, didn't it?

[–]EquinsuOcha 22 points23 points ago

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Yeah, I hate to say this, but you're doing it wrong, or with the wrong person. Shower sex can be very, VERY hot.

[–]IsThisTheRealLife 9 points10 points ago

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So hot it blisters your skin.

[–]bvanman 3 points4 points ago*

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As a pretty tall man with a tiny shower, I gotta agree with him though. For me at least, shower sex is not the greatest.

[–]slamberry 2 points3 points ago

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As a pretty tall man with a just slightly larger than tiny shower, I love shower sex. It is so hot, and very fun. Creates a few laughs sometimes, because it certainly doesn't always go off without a hitch. But still, some of the best sex i've ever had was in a shower.

[–]EquinsuOcha 3 points4 points ago

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The solution is to find a girl with a huge shower, and do it there. Often.

[–]Eggnogg 20 points21 points ago

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"And when she showed me her large shower, I knew she was the one."

[–]godofallcows 0 points1 point ago

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Walk in showers are the shit when you are tall.

[–]Scrappled 4 points5 points ago

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this ^

doesn't even matter if it is a tiny shower

once the height difference reaches a certain amount then any sex apart other than lying down becomes yoga

[–]EquinsuOcha 1 point2 points ago

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My girl is 5'6" and I'm 6'1", so it's probably not as much of a difference for me as it probably is for you. The only solution I can give you is to do a lot of squats, lower back, and shoulder exercises and get used to the idea of having sex standing up (hands on her ass, her legs over your elbows, you carrying her weight with your arms and doing both thrusting / bouncing her off you). This does two things - one, totally turns a woman on, and two, makes you feel like a stud because you're in total control.

Rick Santorum does NOT approve of this method.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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that sounds hot

[–]Scrappled 1 point2 points ago

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6'2" and her at 5'1" with short legs :|

anything I do is dominant even if she's on top :P

[–]bvanman 2 points3 points ago

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Shower blowjobs are about the only enjoyable thing for a tall guy, and even that isn't as nice as sitting or laying down.

[–]Scrappled 0 points1 point ago

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that is so true

[–]Hlidarendi 1 point2 points ago

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Is this not more about the cleaning of each other's bodies rather than sex? Of course cleaning can lead to sex ;)

[–]bensully 0 points1 point ago

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It's always awkward the first time because you have to figure out height and leverage but once you've got that shit down, shower sex is faaaaantastic. All the slipping and steam is fun with the right person.

[–]anubus72 0 points1 point ago

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you can just pump the heat up to maximum and then turn it into a nice sauna. Then you don't have to fuck under the water and it solves all your problems

[–]shoziku 2 points3 points ago

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Bewbies. Clean them till they squeak.

[–]Wardoghk 2 points3 points ago

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I'm gonna have to take this gif in the bushes from ten minutes.

[–]cycophuk 2 points3 points ago

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[–]TheVerySadPanda 1 point2 points ago

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I can't believe I used to watch Ren & Stimpy as a kid. That show was not alright for children.

[–]Krizzy 0 points1 point ago

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but remember

there's a difference between the nickelodeon ren and Stimpy and the Spike TV ren and stimpy

[–]TheVerySadPanda 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, I forgot about the Spike TV relaunch. You have to admit that the original was still a little disturbing.

[–]Krizzy 2 points3 points ago

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I think it's just that we're trained to underestimate what kids can handle.

[–]knocklessmonster[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Was that from the Spike special?

[–]fr3ddie 1 point2 points ago

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Just like in my dreams.

[–]skullhair 1 point2 points ago

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All the girls in this cartoon were designed by Katie Rice over here.

[–]CarrionLuggage 1 point2 points ago

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Weirdest boner ever.

[–]b000bs 1 point2 points ago

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OH INDEED

[–]John_Fx 1 point2 points ago

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What he's thinking "How long can I get away with this before she starts to find it obsessive and creepy?"

I think it is kind of like what would happen if you dumped a whole jar of fish food in the aquarium and the fish eat themselves to death. Evolution hasn't prepared us for this particular type of self control, because it is so rare we need to exercise it.

[–]Thel_Odan 2 points3 points ago

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I still can't believe Ren & Stimpy was ever considered a kids show. I feel like I should thank my parents for not being overbearing and trying to hide TV from me.

[–]Jchang1210 0 points1 point ago

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Rawr

[–]MarshmallowPrincess 0 points1 point ago

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Wants boyfriend to shower with me, lurers boyfriend with breastesses. Everyone wins!!!!!

[–]ausimeman21 0 points1 point ago

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Now that's a reboot

[–]kabukistar 0 points1 point ago

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"I just took a shower with my boyfriend. My boobs have never been cleaner."

[–]jjmayhem 0 points1 point ago

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Also, don't forget to pee on her, afterall you have to claim her.

p.s. Girls, you've been peed on if you take a shower with your man. Just ask him, he'll probably laugh.

[–]IJUSTTHOUGHTOF 0 points1 point ago

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BOOBS

[–]yogitw 0 points1 point ago

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Yep

[–]JCamx 0 points1 point ago

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HOW was Ren and Stimpy ever a kids show? lol

[–]legend_forge 0 points1 point ago

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Her eyes... keep following me...

[–]poorpinto 0 points1 point ago

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I go straight for the asscrack. I'm a crack addict.

[–]Lamcia -2 points-1 points ago

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Source.

[–]notjester -3 points-2 points ago

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Haha, definitely. My girl doesn't seem to mind at all though. Awesome gif.