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Lock Up Your Daughters! A young boy accepts a trophy at the third annual Malmesbury Abbey Skate Competition. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Mind_Virus

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[–]Austechnic 79 points80 points ago

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This is a skate park. Inside a church.

[–]ApocryphalBibleVerse 208 points209 points ago

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And the LORD said unto them, make for me a skate park, and the Israelites did build a skate park in the tabernacle, and lo it was bitchin'.

[–]AllTheGDNames 14 points15 points ago

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I love you.

[–]ApocryphalBibleVerse 30 points31 points ago

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The Mennonites did come then unto the Canaanites and found much mirth among that tribe.

Zachariah, chief among the Mennonites spake, "Wherefore laughest thou, O Canaanites?"

And the Canaanites asked "What sort of a stupid name is Mennonites for a tribe?"

And Zachariah waxed wrathful, and sayeth he unto the Canaanites, "AllTheGDNames were taken."

[–]AllTheGDNames 1 point2 points ago

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This summer from the director of "Transformers"... "Menno Simons, Time Traveler". He wasn't always a pacifist. Staring Christian Bale.

[–]discontinuity 0 points1 point ago

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Staring Christian Bale http://bluebears.tumblr.com/post/3814973042/thanks-everyone-for-all-the-suggestions

[–]AllTheGDNames 0 points1 point ago

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After commenting, I was unsure of whether it was two r's or not. I'll leave it for posterity.

[–]signorafosca 5 points6 points ago

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And the people of the Lord did shred upon the halfpipes and rails, and gave thanks. And God saw that it was gnarly.

[–]ApocryphalBibleVerse 13 points14 points ago

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But the LORD is a jealous God, and he did say unto signorafosca, "This is my schtick, get your own."

[–]signorafosca 6 points7 points ago

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Oh goodness I didn't see your username! I apologize. Please, go about your business.

[–]Dreamwaltzer 1 point2 points ago

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Relevent PBF

Any idea why this comic is no longer on the PBF website?

[–]BreakTheSun 5 points6 points ago

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Y'know - I'd like to think that the lord would actually support this. It's a safe positive environment that brings the community together.

His shirt even promotes abstainence and chastity, suggesting parents "Lock up their daughters" lest they be caught in lust for the young man.

What a winner!

[–]Stregano 6 points7 points ago

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Maybe they are skating in a Stephen Baldwin competition. You know, since he started doing stuff about skating... ...for Jesus.

P.S. - Yes, I am dead serious that he does extreme sports for Jesus. Look at the copyright information at the bottom of that page:

© 2007 GLOBAL BREAKTHROUGH MINISTRY, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

[–]bailgun 2 points3 points ago

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when i lived in portland, he filmed for one of his xtreme jesus videos at burnside for a couple days. he mostly sat up in a rental van in the top lot smoking crack while his crew ran around filming some lypsynching rappers and generally kooking it.

but they kicked down a few grand to the park, so it was tolerated.

[–]Stregano 4 points5 points ago

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LOL, smoking crack... ...for Jesus

[–]Austechnic 0 points1 point ago

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Now we know what the Jesus does.

[–]Stregano 1 point2 points ago

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8 year olds dude

[–]cleverkid 0 points1 point ago

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Assalt?

[–]SaltyBabe 2 points3 points ago

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Gotta do something to keep those young people from realizing what's really going on at church.

[–]orthag 3 points4 points ago

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It's called brainwashing and churches love it.

[–]FyreWulff 0 points1 point ago

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Salvation Army South Corp in Omaha used to have a skate park in it's building. It was unfortunately cut from the plans when they moved to their new Kroc Center.

[–]lord_nougat 2 points3 points ago

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Those damned Kroc suckers.

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 703 points704 points ago

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http://imgur.com/TEL1a

[–]likemaugal 69 points70 points ago

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redditor for 6 hours and you've drawn like 10 drawings already?!?! and only got 300 comment karma :(

[–]originalacc 172 points173 points ago

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To be fair, the drawings are quite shitty.

[–]catjuggler 38 points39 points ago

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I think they're getting better

[–]porkfatty 21 points22 points ago

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It won't be long until they're forced to change their name!

[–]Decent_Watercolour 52 points53 points ago

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Well, I'll see what I can do.

[–]JuiceboxSC2 -2 points-1 points ago

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I'm so happy about what is happening right now. :)

[–]Whenthenighthascome 4 points5 points ago

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Well, I don't know what you were expecting.

[–]ins4n1ty 1 point2 points ago

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He's certainly picking up traction.

[–]RedSquaree 16 points17 points ago

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I can top that.

title comnts points age /r/
LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS! 406coms 1504pts 10mos pics

[–]lanaius 8 points9 points ago

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This is Mind_Virus we're talking about.

[–]RedSquaree 3 points4 points ago

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I know. He sends me butthurt messages "stop posting original links in my reposts u sad lil loser!!"

[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 4 points5 points ago

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it's funny cause he's gonna have sexual relations with them if you don't lock them up

[–]RedSquaree 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't he a bit young for that?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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How about a portrait of the creepy bald guy in the back?

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 83 points84 points ago

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http://imgur.com/ezP76

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I love you.

[–]TemporaryCatatonic 2 points3 points ago

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His eyes, they stare into your soul.

[–]Prosperity 1 point2 points ago

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Bruce Willis?

[–]letsRACEturtles 7 points8 points ago

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i'm a connoisseur of fine art, and this, gentlemen, is indeed fine art

[–]Lurkerstatusveryhigh 6 points7 points ago

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Shall we start the bidding at, say.. $5,000? Hmmmmm?

[–]rathead -1 points0 points ago

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correctamundo... he should be fined for his art.

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 2 points3 points ago

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Can you do a lion for me? I ask this kind of thing of every redditor that does art and is willing to take requests.

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

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I'll do a lion for you if you supply the tranquilizer gun.

[–]hal9005 0 points1 point ago

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Funny thing is that kid is 7 and he probably wants all daughters locked up because girls are icky and have cooties.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]DKdonkeykong 22 points23 points ago

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...Lock up your wife! Lock up your front door, and run for your life!

[–]kanfayo 2 points3 points ago

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The man is back in tooooooown. Don't you mess around.

Duh DuhDuh DuhDuh

'Cause I'm TNT! I'm Dynamite!

[–]LiraNuna 6 points7 points ago

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Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife...

[–]PasswordOptional2 0 points1 point ago

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I guess he was thinking about this ac/dc song

[–]Rekees 33 points34 points ago

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That kid in the background is a syllable and a half from calling him 'Fucker'

[–]soulpicklz 58 points59 points ago

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a young pimp receives his first Chalice...

[–]I_Need_A_Beard 12 points13 points ago

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It'll look nice sitting next to all the v-cards he'll inevitably take from his future high school classmates.

[–]Whitworth 57 points58 points ago

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I made this for my wife

[–]letsRACEturtles 7 points8 points ago

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isn't the video game gene passed down from the dad...

[–]derpaherpa 10 points11 points ago

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That's not how you play Call of Duty.

[–]MeanwhileInSAfrica 10 points11 points ago

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No, this is how they play Call of Duty.

[–]Vik1ng 2 points3 points ago

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Sums it up

[–]bobstay 0 points1 point ago

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My god, that is fabulous.

[–]Mazercore 1 point2 points ago

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Anyone know who that kid is or if he went on to bigger or better things?

[–]Ensorcelled 5 points6 points ago

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Awfully ambitious considering the zombie apocalypse, Rick.

[–]BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DERP 4 points5 points ago

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What does your wife think of this "Lori" chick?

[–]postproduction 3 points4 points ago

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I witnessed that very moment of realization recently. I mentioned to my sister that I am relieved that the kids I know have grown up and I don't have to hear how talented they are anymore. She has a 9-year-old and this was her reaction

:P

o_O

ಠ_ಠ

:(

[–]youhatemeandihateyou 26 points27 points ago

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Mind_Virus, you reposting butthole.

[–]bobstay 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks for the heads-up, downvoted and tagged.

[–]samalex1701 7 points8 points ago

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Reminds me of this: http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/willow.jpg

[–]Waffles81 0 points1 point ago

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My favorite childhood movie (next to Annie)

[–]TallCaucasianGuy -2 points-1 points ago

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+1 referenced Willow

[–]jaggazz 15 points16 points ago

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And yet another repost by Mind_virus

[–]bobstay 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for the heads-up. Downvoted.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]FUNKYDISCO 16 points17 points ago

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it's holding up a trophy.

[–]joostvo 0 points1 point ago

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That arm does look a bit weird. It appears a bit longer than the other one, because his right sleeve is slid down by holding up the trophy.

[–]Petardfoozer 4 points5 points ago*

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Why is it when he wears that shirt it's "cute", but when I show up to the local elementary school with it on I get arrested? Fucking double standards man...

[–]toastedtobacco 4 points5 points ago

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"lock up your daughters" most memorable phrase from tony hawk pro skater games

[–]Argonaut01 3 points4 points ago

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awesomeness, achieved!

[–]Instantcretin 3 points4 points ago

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He look SO HAPPY. Must pinch cheeeeeks.

[–]DerkhaDerkha 2 points3 points ago

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There some footage here of the event from today. Some pretty amazing stuff.

[–]toke_or_smoke 5 points6 points ago

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I'm glad Rick from pawn stars could take time out of his busy schedule for this

[–]Dtrain323i 1 point2 points ago

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I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

[–]WhiteZero 1 point2 points ago

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"I'll give you like $5 for that trophy..."

[–]brettaburger 0 points1 point ago

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Also that kid from Chatroulette, second from the right.

Reference: http://imgur.com/XNw72

[–]shinobiboix 1 point2 points ago

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Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 reference? Because I love the soundtrack.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]a_sloth 1 point2 points ago

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Kid in the background: dat award

[–]WarPhalange 1 point2 points ago

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Why do I bother going on with my life? I can never hope to top anything this kid has already done.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Fucker's got long-ass arms.

[–]Datastream 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like a younger version of Moot.

[–]Banana_For_Brains 1 point2 points ago

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For some reason the first three times I read this I thought it said "Look Up Your Daughters!"

[–]HappyCupCockRainbows 0 points1 point ago

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Me too! I was all like..WTF...move along...recheck..WTF...move along..recheck OOOOOOH! /face-palm

[–]brucemo 1 point2 points ago

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He looks like Mick Jagger about 100 years ago.

[–]ohblair 1 point2 points ago

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That's cool, I like this poster I just bought much much better.

[–]TBHooker 0 points1 point ago

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I like this one much better too, but needs more jpeg

[–]ohblair 0 points1 point ago

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I agree, but I simply cannot find better on the internet, that's why it's hanging in my room at this moment. <3

[–]Dunge 1 point2 points ago

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I remember seeing this exact same picture a few months ago..

[–]Xani 1 point2 points ago

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Yay, Malmesbury Abbey! Swindonite checking in here.

[–]horneyhorner 1 point2 points ago

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I used to live in Malmesbury and used to attend that Abbey - or at least walk by it - on a fairly regular basis. I don't recall there ever being a skatepark there however... ahh, nostalgia.

[–]SaltyBabe 4 points5 points ago

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I get the Tony Hawk reference, so it's a little more ok... but seriously what is with parents projecting sexuality onto their kids these days? Really, he's how old? And you want him to be chasing tail already... I just don't get it.

I have a friend who is pregnant and she "just had to buy" a set of onesies that said "Hung like a 5 year old" and "Lock up your daughters" I don't even get it... why is it ok to sexualize kids much less babies? Would it be ok to have an infant baby girl and have a comment about her tight vagina on a shirt? Hell no!

Is dad really that insecure that he wants everyone to know just how manly his prepubescent son is? I really cannot fathom a healthy reason I would ever put my son in a shirt like this... Would it be ok to have a little girl wearing something like that at his age? Most people would say no. The double standard is slipping lower and lower it seems.

[–]Less_Or_Fewer -1 points0 points ago

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I think you meant:

why is it ok to sexualize kids much fewer babies

ಠ_ಠ

This error was corrected programmatically. Did I get it right?

[–]SaltyBabe 0 points1 point ago

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No, you did not get it right, that was totally incorrect in every way.

[–]Manwelle 2 points3 points ago

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Good to see Sloth has continued to find work after The Goonies

[–]go_boy 0 points1 point ago

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Baby Ruth?

[–]baginski2001 1 point2 points ago

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Mick Jagger invented an anti-aging machine!!!!! He is now 6 once again.

[–]c01e 0 points1 point ago

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I think ive seen videos of this kid skating on you tube.

[–]oob15 0 points1 point ago

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accurate, as one female in picture totally scopes him out

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Zack Addy, the early years.

[–]The_LaughingMan 0 points1 point ago

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And Bruce Willis on the mic.

[–]Edward40Hands 0 points1 point ago

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I would like to see video of this kid skating to be certain, but I believe he may just be awesome.

[–]BlorfMonger 0 points1 point ago

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Someone can't wait to be a grandparent

[–]danmalo82 0 points1 point ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWYaXFMVTeE

First thing that came to my mind.

[–]Bloaf 0 points1 point ago

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and batten the hatches.

[–]thethadd 0 points1 point ago

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That's a little girl.

[–]_flatline_ 0 points1 point ago

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I like the Superman knee-pad (or is it a patch on the jeans?).

[–]satchoo 0 points1 point ago

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Wiltshire represent!

[–]Strideo 0 points1 point ago

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I love it when hobbits win these things!

[–]tulkas42 0 points1 point ago

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He picked the wrong Grail!

[–]smilewinner 0 points1 point ago

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Lock Up Your Daughters was the movie my parents saw on their first date in 1969.

[–]CromulentCanuck 0 points1 point ago

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this was extremely difficult to fap to. :/

[–]stdtm 1 point2 points ago

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For you, maybe

[–]cleverkid 0 points1 point ago

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That kid's gotta be like twenty eight by now.

[–]thecritic06 0 points1 point ago

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I don't like the implication that this very young infant is going to fuck my female children. Go away, very young infant!

[–]swampertkamm85 0 points1 point ago

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LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS! LOCK UP YOUR WIFE!LOCK UP YOUR PET DOG!

[–]Drewlicious 0 points1 point ago

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Mothers lock up your daughters, Smithers is on the town!

[–]inkursive 0 points1 point ago

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Holy Shit, this is my home town! Feels so weird seeing this on the front page...

[–]nattylife 0 points1 point ago

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id be ok with my daughters dating this guy. looks like a nice kid

[–]akwabaa 0 points1 point ago

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...baby Jagger?

[–]RorySBarnes 0 points1 point ago

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I like that this is the town I grew up in.

[–]spoiled11 0 points1 point ago

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Why did he remind me of Dexter Morgan?

[–]Thrasher1493 0 points1 point ago

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Superman AND ACDC patces? What a bad ass.

[–]Redav 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't understand it at first, then I realized its a boy...

[–]mirgaine_life 0 points1 point ago

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Is the dude in the background the guy from Pawn Stars?

[–]AstralFeats 0 points1 point ago

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D'awwwww!

[–]richardstan 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like the disfigured guy from 300 can stand upright now and hold a mic.

[–]Box_Cutter76 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like Rick from the pawn shop learned how to play the flute.

[–]RecreationalRedditor 0 points1 point ago

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This skate competition was held in the home town of Thomas Hobbes? Intredesting.

[–]FrostByt 0 points1 point ago

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I have a daughter. She looked at him and said "meh, I am not interested." Well there you have it.

[–]bitter_cynical_angry 0 points1 point ago

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Don't lock 'em up, Glock 'em up! Make sure your daughters can defend themselves.

[–]jkhatter12 0 points1 point ago

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Skateboarding Straight Style!

[–]meowmeister 0 points1 point ago

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I about split my head open laughing. Updated OP's RES tag from red "Whore" ro orange "OK" on the strength of this post alone.

[–]BoddaGettaBah 0 points1 point ago

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Pretty cool of them to let the Toxic Avenger emcee.

[–]logarythm 0 points1 point ago

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Superman kneepads? Seriously this kid is pimping.

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

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Not only did I do it before it was cool, I did it underground.

[–]FucktheFrench 0 points1 point ago

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my band named one of our tours "LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS TOUR" this is rad

[–]nameless_faceless 0 points1 point ago

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He's as cute as a puppy!!

[–]arethemad 0 points1 point ago

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Love the shirt haha. Bought one for my friend's newborn a couple months ago.

[–]njb549 0 points1 point ago

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this little kid has more swag than half the guys on reddit.

[–]jiggygent 0 points1 point ago

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Mind_Virus REPOST!!! KARMA WHORE!!!

[–]PsychoticApe 0 points1 point ago

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I want to steal his hair. Must resist....

[–]mski14 0 points1 point ago

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Parenting done right

[–]Physics101 0 points1 point ago

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Cunt destroyer.

[–]Obey336 -1 points0 points ago

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Bahaha nice shirt

[–]infidel118i -4 points-3 points ago

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I bet he grows up to be a right self centred little shit.

[–]kike082 -1 points0 points ago

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scott pilgrim.... top left.

[–]kike082 -1 points0 points ago

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scott pilgrim.... top left.

[–]Kensin -1 points0 points ago

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it's funny cause he's gonna have sexual relations with them if you don't lock them up

[–]oldschool_midi -1 points0 points ago

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This young boy will fuck your daughters! A young player accepts his key to pussy at the third annual pussy distribution competition.

[–]lactik -2 points-1 points ago

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You sure that's a boy. And you sure he isn't molested.

[–]hiphophippopotamus -4 points-3 points ago

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Lock up your daughters because this kids mouth is so fucking ridiculously gigantic it has its own gravitational pull. It will suck them in like a black hole.

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