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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Jamslap 388 points389 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm colourblind, and shit at poems

[–]Various_Pickles 157 points158 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are grey. Sasha Grey.

[–]LordDeLaFunk 57 points58 points ago

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Roses are grey,

Violets are off-white,

Porn feat. Sasha Grey,

For my Valentine tonight

[–]billiwonka 81 points82 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red, Sasha's are grey, girl look at that body

[–]iamablackbeltman 74 points75 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I...I...I work out!

[–]Kratzyyy 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]stevexr1p 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]wtcnbrwndo4u 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My favorite comic of all time. Haha.

[–]AriBBCP 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Ququmatz 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

SIGH

[–]JathTyki 29 points30 points ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue, this line doesn't rhyme, and neither does this one.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, LOL I'm a dog.

[–]captainawesome7 1 point2 points ago

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Wouldn't the rose be a weird color because they're red green color blind. Violet would be a kind of blue.

[–]Brewster-Rooster 10 points11 points ago

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THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

[–]Turd_Sammich 4 points5 points ago

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Roses are gray Violets are gray They all taste delicious I'm a dog

[–]kerosion 1 point2 points ago

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Roses are gray, violets are gray

Fixed. From the dregs of internets past.

[–]Beezle 1 point2 points ago

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Why is the sky grey? Why is the grass grey? Why is a rainbow grey, grey, grey, grey, grey and infra-grey?

[–]Omena123 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]ajree210 160 points161 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red, Violets are blue, If I was Chris Brown, I wouldn't punch you.

[–]daluvmonkey 72 points73 points ago

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What a hit

[–]darthsawyer 35 points36 points ago

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Not much of a punchline.

[–]kittylick3r 19 points20 points ago

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Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna

[–]Deep__Thought 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was a low blow.

[–]the_lucky_cat 11 points12 points ago

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Beat me to it.

[–]barnesandnobles 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I find the lack of domestic abuse in relationship to be the most romantic part.

[–]GeorgeBushWasALie 1298 points1299 points ago

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If you feel depressed and lonely on valentines day, just remember nobody loves you any other day of the year either

[–]HarkenSlash 68 points69 points ago

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ಥ_ಥ

[–]Legoandsprit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Calls_people_asshole 516 points517 points ago

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You asshole.

[–]VasyaK 146 points147 points ago

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Call me an asshole! Pick ME!

[–]LeMeowman 78 points79 points ago

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You asshole.

[–]pciespresso 128 points129 points ago

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Meow

FTFY

[–]RetroViruses 30 points31 points ago

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No, Colin Mochrie's AMA was yesterday.

[–]Parkmayn 3 points4 points ago

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Me-wow!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Ooh! Fix that for me!

[–]floppy_camel_anus 17 points18 points ago

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Yes! That's my problem! This guy understands me

[–]SpitefulMoose 1 point2 points ago

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No, I think your problem is that you're a floppy camel anus. But I'm only a shitty doctor.

[–]6times9is42 44 points45 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]themangeraaad 1 point2 points ago*

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Hey there... My grandmother sent me a box of candies like she does every year. She loves me! =)

Except I'm on a low carb diet and can't eat any of them =(

[–][deleted] 82 points83 points ago

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You know what I don't get?

Violets aren't blue. They're purple.

[–]canada432 229 points230 points ago

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.
That's what they say, but it just isn't true.
Roses are red, and apples are too.
But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue.
An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green.
A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean?
To call something blue when it's not, we defile it.
But aww, what the heck? It's hard to rhyme "violet."

[–]CBlackrose 16 points17 points ago

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That... That is just amazing.

[–]canada432 4 points5 points ago

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Wish I could say it was mine, but it was shamelessly stolen from Dot in Animaniacs.

[–]SpitefulMoose 3 points4 points ago

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Someone make this man a poet laureate!!

[–]rubberstampagenda 26 points27 points ago

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Animaniacs

[–]yakusokuN8 156 points157 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red.

Violets are purple.

What the hell have I started?

Damnit... nurple.

[–]unexceptional 31 points32 points ago

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The baby won't stop crying

His face is turning purple

Will anything make him feel better?

I bet a burp'll.

[–]beef_creature 1 point2 points ago

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exceptional work

[–]unexceptional 1 point2 points ago

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It's Louis Sachar XD

[–]occasionally_horny 2 points3 points ago

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I loved those stories

[–]jm001 6 points7 points ago

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Roses are red,

Violets are purple.

If I was a saddle,

Then you'd be my curple.

[–]absolutelynothing 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You can't get my love

because you're a guy

but you still get an upvote for watching QI

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

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Violets are not... violet?

[–]yakusokuN8 11 points12 points ago

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Well, sure. But, it's easier to rhyme with blue.

[–]Hedgehog_Hegemon 20 points21 points ago

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Roses are red. Violets vary in colour. I wrote you this poem. So you'd do me a sexual favour.

[–]kyew 12 points13 points ago

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That one sprained my inner dialog.

[–]theLeica 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are Red, Violets are Purple, I don't like you, Get stuck in a whirlpool*

  • only word I can think of that vaguely rhymes with purple

[–]saioke 183 points184 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red,

The grass is greener,

When I think of you,

I touch my wiener.

[–]BrendanJB 162 points163 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
Get in the van.

[–]delucis 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are shut the fuck up,

Violets are shut the fuck up,

Shut the fuck up,

Shut the fuck up.

[–]nom_nom_monster 6 points7 points ago

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atleast it rhymes

[–]Magoran 35 points36 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I'm shit at poems,

Show me your boobs.

[–]Naked_Guy 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red. Violets are red. Retinal hemorrhage.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red,

I'm just too slow,

Hookers all booked up,

Now who'll give me a blow?

[–]cookmesome 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I wouldn't still be a virgin,

If I had a damn clue.

[–]Coffeybeanz 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red, Grass is bright green, You must weigh more Than a washing machine.

[–]BogTrott3r 393 points394 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red, Valentines day is crap, no girlfriend this year, so fap fap fap

[–]shufflingmulligan 99 points100 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when you get right down to it we all die alone, right?

[–]ariiiiigold 126 points127 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Pornhub is down

Your mum's Facebook will do...

[–]govatent 1 point2 points ago

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That's gold. Had hot heard it.

[–]Monkeychimp 42 points43 points ago

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If I wasn't crying right now, I'd be laughing.

[–]DZ302 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Whitney Houston is dead,
and Iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love youuuuuu

[–]SnuggieMcGee 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You'd be amazed how much time you save when you multitask.

[–]barnesandnobles 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That awkward moment when you're not sure if you're really happy or really just a giant polar bear standing in the middle of 48th street wondering how the hell you locked yourself out of your car again.

[–]BogTrott3r 8 points9 points ago

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Yeah :(

[–]verdammt 34 points35 points ago

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Roses are red,

Valentines day, again?

Oh my god I think I just realized

She's not really my soulmate and we don't have the perfect relationship

[–]iamablackbeltman 162 points163 points ago

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For the ladies:

Roses are red, Valentines day sucks dick, no boyfriend this year, so schlick schlick schlick

[–]Pretty_Insignificant 2 points3 points ago

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schlick just sounds so not cool...

[–]robeph 1 point2 points ago

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SA has a smiley on their forums :shlick: it's been there forever, looks kinda like this http://i.imgur.com/m8CgZ.gif

[–]SexualKindness 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You have shakespeare's way with words and his girth.

[–]grandom 17 points18 points ago

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No vodka to drink cause I haven't been paid.

It's been since May since last I was laid.

My router is ready, to kick the bucket.

Valentine's Day, can go and suck it.

[–]MindlessDream 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

An extra fap makes it better

[–]CleverPenguin 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey, I remember that rage comic too!

[–]Nikolai_Petrovsky 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Roses are red, blood's red too, I'm covered in it, help what do?

[–]Spazit 98 points99 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Vodka buddy from around the world, Australia salutes you.

[–]madITguy[S] 133 points134 points ago

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I don't know how you can drink be upside down at the same time, man.

[–]madITguy[S] 204 points205 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How do I grammar?

[–]dfitt 127 points128 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Drink more.

[–]Loss-of-Blood 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Drink more, think less.

[–]CaptainHowl 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Crisender111 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They hold the bottle upside up.

[–]SKREAM 540 points541 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's my real birthday and reddit birthday, give me karma.

[–]stepsonoftheclapper 213 points214 points ago

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...You signed up for Reddit on your birthday?

[–]SKREAM 403 points404 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]h4mburgers 51 points52 points ago

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It's okay, Skream is awesome.

[–]m0zzie 17 points18 points ago

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The producer Skream?

[–]coolstorybreh 1 point2 points ago

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Well, is he?

[–]xmatthisx 60 points61 points ago

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Which also happens to be Valentine's Day?

[–]toxicFork 65 points66 points ago

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now that's what i call a sad day

[–]Madmanden 36 points37 points ago

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"It's my birthday. It's Valentine's Day. I'm all alone. REDDIT HERE I COME!"

[–]Faaaabulous 14 points15 points ago

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He waited an entire year just to say that.

[–]7D4Y_WEEKENDS 46 points47 points ago

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birth certificate or you didn't happen.

[–]SKREAM 132 points133 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]young-earth-atheist 78 points79 points ago

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I first got laid the year you were born. I'm old enough to be your dad.

[–]SnuggieMcGee 29 points30 points ago

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You may have just opened a whole can of worms for skream.

[–]Enforte 7 points8 points ago

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Literally.

[–]nista002 24 points25 points ago

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Ugh. I just saw DOB and was like "wow, this kid is only 10 years old?"

[–]Pooma__ 7 points8 points ago

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"And with a driver's license?!"

[–]englishcrumpet 7 points8 points ago

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Happy Birthday fellow Brit!

[–]cauchy37 4 points5 points ago

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Well shit, last VD must've been really interesting for you then :(

Have all my upvotes!

[–]toxicFork 7 points8 points ago

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venereal disease?

[–]cauchy37 2 points3 points ago

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it's not mutually exclusive, so who knows ...

[–]Goldmine44 2 points3 points ago

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make sure it isn't just the certificate of live birth. especially if you were born in Hawaii.

[–]AFlyingNunAttack 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have you tagged as Man Boobs.

[–]SKREAM 121 points122 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]ljjarvis 27 points28 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like you.

[–]imightlikeyou 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like you.

[–]coolstorybreh 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]imightlikeyou 5 points6 points ago

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I must admit, i wasn't expecting that when i hovered.

[–]coolstorybreh 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]The_Magnificent 46 points47 points ago

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Goddamn, this ain't lube! I used a bottle of glue. :(

[–]cjhazza 21 points22 points ago

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You made a sticky situation even stickier then.

[–]lonelyINjapan 3 points4 points ago

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Especially if he tried washing it all off with water.

[–]EvilTOJ 1 point2 points ago

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There once was a couple from Odelli

Who stuck themselves belly to belly

Because in their haste they used library paste

Instead of petroleum jelly

[–]madITguy[S] 42 points43 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Also, I realize I submitted this a few minutes ago. Had to resubmit because my grammar was terrible.

[–]hobo1942 22 points23 points ago

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One too may swigs?

[–]madITguy[S] 79 points80 points ago

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Not enough, if you ask me.

[–]Drafflol 7 points8 points ago

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which brand are you drinking ?

[–]madITguy[S] 13 points14 points ago

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Phillips.

[–]SlumberingParrot 58 points59 points ago

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Silly OP, you can't drink television.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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FUCK YOU, JOHN, JUST WATCH ME. YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD.

[–]doubledubs 3 points4 points ago

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Silly Parrot, he meant the screwdriver.

[–]the_lucky_cat 1 point2 points ago

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But I don't see any orange juice.

[–]SlumberingParrot 1 point2 points ago

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Silly dubs, you can't drink hand tool.

[–]TheDroopy 1 point2 points ago

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I was going to use the screwdriver line but then I realized you CAN drink a screwdriver, and vodka is indeed involved.

[–]Drafflol 2 points3 points ago

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thanks

[–]Some_Douschebag 14 points15 points ago

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I drink because i'm lonely, I'm lonely because I drink. It's a vicious cycle.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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If I can still see, more drinking for me.

[–]weareonthecruise 37 points38 points ago

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Happy Single Awareness day!

[–]SinglesRazor 10 points11 points ago

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Beware of me.

[–]TheNewYorker 1 point2 points ago

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So this isn't terrifying at all.

[–]SinglesRazor 1 point2 points ago

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Single's razor, (noun): A scientific and philosophic rule that entities should be multiplied unnecessarily which is interpreted as requiring that the most beneficial of competing theories be preferred to the more simple or that explanations of unknown phenomena be sought first in terms of unknown quantities.

[–]weareonthecruise 2 points3 points ago

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mmmmhhmmmmm yes, I know some of these words.

[–]wasting_internet 2 points3 points ago

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I'M AWARE.

[–]ImThatDude20 36 points37 points ago

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Roses are Red.
Violets are Blue.
Your ex-girlfriends having sex,
With someone better than you.

[–]ichuckletoooften 18 points19 points ago

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Now lets all see this in our Facebook feeds in 3.. 2.. 1..

[–]ujiin 21 points22 points ago

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Shut up, all my friends think I'm a damn poet, they cant know the truth that im sad, a drunk AND uncreative, I'd just die of embarrassment.

[–]DWells55 23 points24 points ago

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Ah, yes, I see someone else is honoring the tradition of Getting Smashed Alone Day. Happy GSAD, everyone.

[–]mynoduesp 15 points16 points ago

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I love Tuesdays!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This comment made me derp out and start giggling in the middle of the office. People are used to it though because I'm usually blind drunk on Tuesday.

[–]OleDublinBobcat 16 points17 points ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue....

..Fuck you, whore.

[–]SquirtleLieksMudkips 21 points22 points ago

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You sir, are a poetic genius.

[–]relevant_rule34 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]kabuliwallah 1 point2 points ago

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Also fun to cuddle with, afterwards.

[–]json1 1 point2 points ago

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I had you tagged as "Don't open" in my RES. Good advice

[–]chronos88 3 points4 points ago

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Terrible advice. Relevant_rule_34 is pure gold...

[–]json1 1 point2 points ago

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I... I don't like my childhood ruined :(

[–]SnakeJG 1 point2 points ago

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I read that as "Vodka bottle flashlight" and wondered how it could possible be NSFW.

[–]lmarsh93 10 points11 points ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue, quit bitching about Val- fuck this shit I want a boyfriend.

[–]ColeTurtle 7 points8 points ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sorry I broke into your house last night and watched you sleep.

[–]Desefortunadamente 9 points10 points ago

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Everyone! Let me remind one and all, that there will always be that special someone that will love you at any given moment.... for the right price of course!

[–]Phlegeth0n 11 points12 points ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a knife, now GET IN THE FUCKING VAN.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I read this in Michael Douglas's voice from "Falling Down."

[–]summiter 19 points20 points ago*

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Roses are tits

Violets are tits

I like tits

tits


or if you prefer *nese...


I don't like haikus

But everything I say is

god-fucking-dammit!

[–]iamablackbeltman 15 points16 points ago

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I wrote a haiku once:

The Sun is yellow.

It makes cats and dogs happy.

I eat dogs. China!

[–]ginja_ninja 15 points16 points ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you're mom won't be lonely, cause I'm gonna fuck her in the ass

[–]askawaythrowaway 18 points19 points ago

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Let me try!

Reddit is fun. So is my vagina.

Please hold me after or I will cry...gina.

:D

[–]Ruscour 26 points27 points ago

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That caused me physical pain to read.

[–]Andynym 2 points3 points ago

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Was it a good pain or a bad pain?

[–]SometimesFree 4 points5 points ago

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Roses are red Violets are blue I wish you were pretty Your parents did too.

[–]jamurp 4 points5 points ago

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Wise words. However I have high price wine and Katherine Heigl film in case of emergency.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Katherine Heigl film

I'd rather be single honestly.

[–]Velitatio 4 points5 points ago

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If you live in Iceland, Vodka costs about the same

[–]BonzoTheBoss 17 points18 points ago

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It always puzzles me how only people without relationships actually go on about valentines day.

For most people valentines day is just another day.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points ago

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It puzzles you that people not in relationships get bothered on the holiday dedicated to love and relationships? Really?

[–]Ozlin 22 points23 points ago

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He/she is too busy with all the sex to really figure it out.

[–]SquirtleLieksMudkips 5 points6 points ago

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This is true. I've been in a relationship for 9 Valentines days and only celebrated once during our first one (we were still in high school...) Since then, is been just another day. Its only upside is the same upside as Halloween, the days after mean cheap candy!

[–]D_Robb 3 points4 points ago

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You left the "built-in pourer" on. Amateur.

[–]madITguy[S] 14 points15 points ago

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Not enough time between opening bottle and dousing the sadness.

[–]krush_groove 4 points5 points ago

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Some wall hangings would really spice up the place.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Roses are red, lotion is white, FAP FAP FAP. It's a good night.

[–]fre1gn 1 point2 points ago

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Oh my god, this is brilliant.

[–]Got_Engineers 1 point2 points ago

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am up doing homework still, I don't know how to talk to girls.

[–]callmelucky 1 point2 points ago

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Not in Australia it doesn't. Actually yes it does, but only because dinner for two is fucking expensive in Australia too.

[–]sayhaythrowaway 1 point2 points ago

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I can get a 750ml bottle for 5.99. That's less than eating fast food in most places.

[–]millybays 1 point2 points ago

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happy singles awareness day

[–]snakeseare 1 point2 points ago

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Damn, dude, mix that shit with some orange juice and put on a happy face.

[–]Gl1tchProductions 1 point2 points ago

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roses are red. violets are violets. I hate poems.

[–]raydio27 1 point2 points ago

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thanks for reminding me 1. of my loneliness and 2. of the bottle of vodka left in my freezer.

[–]szchm 1 point2 points ago

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Speak for yourself, I'm currently sharing the evening with a bottle of Lagavulin 16yo.

[–]throwaway1621 1 point2 points ago

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I thought I would share this story here because it seems appropriate now and its a bit therapeutic writing it out (will become apparent later). Two years ago I was picking fruit up in Northern Queensland to earn money for a massive trip overseas with a friend. The work was hot, sweaty and arduous but it was rewarding in cash and satisfaction. So we toiled away picking prickly pineapples and making money. The friend I was picking fruits with was Greek and spoke it fluently so the plan was to go there and drink our way through. We eventually earnt enough money and set off on our big trip to Greece. We did all the touristy things and eventually drifted out of the major cities to a party island (not Ios) but smaller and far less known. It was our first night there on the island, typically unseasonably hot, crowded and full of bars and we set out to explore the island more. We started early drinking our way through the shanties and smaller bars when we found ourselves off in a side street in a tiny bar away from the main centre. It was mainly locals and they regarded us with typical veiled hostility/disregard for drunk tourists. With false bravado aided by copious amounts of drink, we approached a group of local girls. All of them were quite nice, attractive and had an ok grasp of english. One girl however, was stunning. She had beautiful olive skin and stunning green eyes coupled with hair bleached by the sun. Tall and skinny with a perpetual smile, she was completely captivating. At first it was difficult to talk to her because of her shyness but we eventually hit it off and agreed to meet the next day. My friend brought home a girl but I was unconcerned having met this one.

Hungover and slightly star struck at this girl I ironed (keep in mind I am 21 at the stage and have never done this, even for job interviews) my shirt and pants. My friend was quiet but didn't say anything (I assumed at the time he was jealous or hungover) and I ventured out to meet her. The day was the best day of my life, we chatted all day, conversation flowing easily because she had a genuine interest in me, and me her. When she talked her sentences meandered aimlessly and she had a fantastic habit of talking about whatever she was currently occupied with at the time. All of this enamoured me to her. It is impossible to convey her smell, touch and aura right now through text but I was (and to some extent still am) totally infatuated by her. I returned from our day to my friend, corralling him with my adventure, he was totally disinterested and was angry that I was seeing her tomorrow. We went to bed early, upset at each other and feeling the strain that extended travel brings. I saw her the next day (arising early to avoid my friend), waiting for me on a bridge over a deep chasm, smiling and totally at ease relaxing in the sun. We explored the local stores (her being a bargainer for me) and I wandered over to her looking at this bracelet. It was ornate and intricate, a gold band with curving cuts through it highlighting the shimmering quality of the tiny embedded diamonds. It was clear she wouldn't ever be able to afford it, her father ran the bar we had a been in two nights ago and her mother ran the household. I had met them fleetingly but with their english it was difficult to say something of substance. I saw her looking at the bracelet and my heart broke. I had the money to buy it. She was worth it. I waited until she was preoccupied and bought her the bracelet, careful to make sure she didn't see me buy it. I walked her home and presented it to her at her door. Her eyes widened and she involuntarily grasped my wrist holding the bracelet. She insisted I return it. Immediately. I refused and her eyes welled up in tears, she kissed me roughly and laughed. She told me wait at her doorstep. Moments later she appeared with a necklace, it was fantastically gold and bright and she placed it around my neck. She told me she would see me tomorrow, same place, and we parted. I could barely contain my excitement as I told my roommate what happened, he listened silently to the whole story. I told him I was going to stay here and take care of her, I was certain this could work. He looked up at me and he was clearly uncomfortable. "She’s a prostitute". I almost hit him. He continued on quickly, "Think about it man, what are the odds that you have met this brilliant girl on a fucking party island and she just happens to fall for you!? Her friend I fucked was a bitch who tried to get money from me, you think this girl is different? Are you fucking insane? You bought this fuck expensive bracelet for her and she gives you back some shit chain and you're convinced its love after two days?". His words brought my word crashing around me. I was so angry, blinded by this girl I had failed to see I had fallen for a trick. He was right, in less than two days of knowing her I had bought her an extremely expensive gift and embarrassed myself in the process. Fuck. I had gone from being the happiest in my life to being the angriest, jaded human being. My roomate convinced me of my naiveté and my mood worsened. Unable to sleep I met her on the bridge the next morning.

I abused her, I called her names I dont want to repeat. In a rage of fury I tossed the necklace she gave me over the bridge and told her to keep the bracelet and go fuck herself. She was silent the whole time looking at me, tearing up. I walked away quickly before she had time to speak.

We moved from where we were to the other side of the island and my roommate was thrilled to have his friend back and I drank heavily to cope. After a few days my whole demeanour had changed to the point where I was depressing my roommate and he suggested we go back and see what we could do. I walked back to her house with my friend, literally the same building where the bar was underneath. The bar was closed and there were men outside, openly weeping. One I had recognised as her uncle ran towards me and pushed me up against a wall, I was too shocked to retaliate. My friend exploded into Greek swearing and asking what the fuck was going on. The men let me go and told me to fuck off or they would kill me. My friend said it was fine and continued to talk to them in Greek. I sat back in our room and waited. My head was awash with thoughts, none of them making sense, so I just waited patiently. My friend appeared about an hour later, his eyes were rimmed red and he proceeded to tell me everything. She wasn't a prostitute. She wasn't a gold-digger. The necklace she gave me was very, very expensive, and belonged to her grandmother who gave it to her grandfather, who gave it to her mother who gave it to her father.. it was passed through generations as a commitment to the one who you will marry. After I threw it off the bridge she was seen crying there by passerby’s, and eventually jumped. She was the backbone of the family, supporting her grandmother in old age. They had tried to warn her off me but she was convinced I was perfect. She gave me the necklace almost risking her position within the family and was heavily berated for it.

I went back home the following week and have had several suicide attempts since then. The worst is a recurring dream walking to meet her on the bridge. I always wake up before I see her, and it hurts to wake up. I dont think I will get over her, nor do I really want to. Valentines day holds no significance to me apart from wishing I could change what i've done.

If you have someone you love, do whatever you can to let them know it, and never show them anything less than 100% commitment. Thanks for reading, happy valentines

TL;DR; Dont take *anything** for granted*

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Didn't read.

[–]Way_Too_Angry 1 point2 points ago

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You know what costs less then vodka? CHOKING YOURSELF AND MASTURBATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]Dtrain323i 1 point2 points ago

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Roses are Red, your skin is tan, shut the fuck up and get in my van

[–]Billagio 1 point2 points ago

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What kind is that?

[–]polloks 1 point2 points ago

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Roses are tits Roses are tits This poem is tits Tits.

[–]moldy_walrus 1 point2 points ago

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I just realized I've seen so many different versions of this poem I completely forgot the real last two lines. Anyone?

[–]Matt08642 1 point2 points ago

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Hey bro, this was already stolen and reposted by 9gag. They love you for your content

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, i saw that too yours is the only comment saying it so was it stolen from here or 9gag?

[–]Reggaepete 1 point2 points ago

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OH NOES. it made his way to 9Gag :(