I wrote a poem for you, reddit. Happy Valentines Day.

Jamslap · 8 months

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm colourblind, and shit at poems

ajree210 · 8 months

Roses are red, Violets are blue, If I was Chris Brown, I wouldn't punch you.

GeorgeBushWasALie · 8 months

If you feel depressed and lonely on valentines day, just remember nobody loves you any other day of the year either

canada432 · 8 months

You know what I don't get?

Violets aren't blue. They're purple.

saioke · 8 months

Roses are red,

The grass is greener,

When I think of you,

I touch my wiener.

BogTrott3r · 8 months

Roses are red, Valentines day is crap, no girlfriend this year, so fap fap fap

Nikolai_Petrovsky · 8 months

Roses are red, blood's red too, I'm covered in it, help what do?

Spazit · 8 months

Vodka buddy from around the world, Australia salutes you.

SKREAM · 8 months

It's my real birthday and reddit birthday, give me karma.

The_Magnificent · 8 months

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Goddamn, this ain't lube! I used a bottle of glue. :(

madITguy · 8 months

Also, I realize I submitted this a few minutes ago. Had to resubmit because my grammar was terrible.

weareonthecruise · 8 months

Happy Single Awareness day!

ImThatDude20 · 8 months

Roses are Red.
Violets are Blue.
Your ex-girlfriends having sex,
With someone better than you.

ichuckletoooften · 8 months

Now lets all see this in our Facebook feeds in 3.. 2.. 1..

DWells55 · 8 months

Ah, yes, I see someone else is honoring the tradition of Getting Smashed Alone Day. Happy GSAD, everyone.

OleDublinBobcat · 8 months

Roses are red, violets are blue....

..Fuck you, whore.

SquirtleLieksMudkips · 8 months

You sir, are a poetic genius.

relevant_rule34 · 8 months

This is a picture of a Vodka bottle fleshlight - NSFW

Source: here - NSFW

lmarsh93 · 8 months

Roses are red, violets are blue, quit bitching about Val- fuck this shit I want a boyfriend.

ColeTurtle · 8 months

Roses are red, violets are blue, sorry I broke into your house last night and watched you sleep.

Desefortunadamente · 8 months

Everyone! Let me remind one and all, that there will always be that special someone that will love you at any given moment.... for the right price of course!

Phlegeth0n · 8 months

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a knife, now GET IN THE FUCKING VAN.

summiter · 8 months

Roses are tits

Violets are tits

I like tits

tits

or if you prefer *nese...

I don't like haikus

But everything I say is

god-fucking-dammit!

ginja_ninja · 8 months

Roses are red, violets are blue, you're mom won't be lonely, cause I'm gonna fuck her in the ass

askawaythrowaway · 8 months

Let me try!

Reddit is fun. So is my vagina.

Please hold me after or I will cry...gina.

:D

SometimesFree · 8 months

Roses are red Violets are blue I wish you were pretty Your parents did too.

jamurp · 8 months

Wise words. However I have high price wine and Katherine Heigl film in case of emergency.

Velitatio · 8 months

If you live in Iceland, Vodka costs about the same

BonzoTheBoss · 8 months

It always puzzles me how only people without relationships actually go on about valentines day.

For most people valentines day is just another day.

D_Robb · 8 months

You left the "built-in pourer" on. Amateur.

krush_groove · 8 months

Some wall hangings would really spice up the place.

[deleted] · 8 months

Roses are red, lotion is white, FAP FAP FAP. It's a good night.

fre1gn · 8 months

Oh my god, this is brilliant.

Got_Engineers · 8 months

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am up doing homework still, I don't know how to talk to girls.

callmelucky · 8 months

Not in Australia it doesn't. Actually yes it does, but only because dinner for two is fucking expensive in Australia too.

sayhaythrowaway · 8 months

I can get a 750ml bottle for 5.99. That's less than eating fast food in most places.

millybays · 8 months

happy singles awareness day

snakeseare · 8 months

Damn, dude, mix that shit with some orange juice and put on a happy face.

Gl1tchProductions · 8 months

roses are red. violets are violets. I hate poems.

raydio27 · 8 months

thanks for reminding me 1. of my loneliness and 2. of the bottle of vodka left in my freezer.

szchm · 8 months

Speak for yourself, I'm currently sharing the evening with a bottle of Lagavulin 16yo.

throwaway1621 · 8 months

I thought I would share this story here because it seems appropriate now and its a bit therapeutic writing it out (will become apparent later). Two years ago I was picking fruit up in Northern Queensland to earn money for a massive trip overseas with a friend. The work was hot, sweaty and arduous but it was rewarding in cash and satisfaction. So we toiled away picking prickly pineapples and making money. The friend I was picking fruits with was Greek and spoke it fluently so the plan was to go there and drink our way through. We eventually earnt enough money and set off on our big trip to Greece. We did all the touristy things and eventually drifted out of the major cities to a party island (not Ios) but smaller and far less known. It was our first night there on the island, typically unseasonably hot, crowded and full of bars and we set out to explore the island more. We started early drinking our way through the shanties and smaller bars when we found ourselves off in a side street in a tiny bar away from the main centre. It was mainly locals and they regarded us with typical veiled hostility/disregard for drunk tourists. With false bravado aided by copious amounts of drink, we approached a group of local girls. All of them were quite nice, attractive and had an ok grasp of english. One girl however, was stunning. She had beautiful olive skin and stunning green eyes coupled with hair bleached by the sun. Tall and skinny with a perpetual smile, she was completely captivating. At first it was difficult to talk to her because of her shyness but we eventually hit it off and agreed to meet the next day. My friend brought home a girl but I was unconcerned having met this one.

Hungover and slightly star struck at this girl I ironed (keep in mind I am 21 at the stage and have never done this, even for job interviews) my shirt and pants. My friend was quiet but didn't say anything (I assumed at the time he was jealous or hungover) and I ventured out to meet her. The day was the best day of my life, we chatted all day, conversation flowing easily because she had a genuine interest in me, and me her. When she talked her sentences meandered aimlessly and she had a fantastic habit of talking about whatever she was currently occupied with at the time. All of this enamoured me to her. It is impossible to convey her smell, touch and aura right now through text but I was (and to some extent still am) totally infatuated by her. I returned from our day to my friend, corralling him with my adventure, he was totally disinterested and was angry that I was seeing her tomorrow. We went to bed early, upset at each other and feeling the strain that extended travel brings. I saw her the next day (arising early to avoid my friend), waiting for me on a bridge over a deep chasm, smiling and totally at ease relaxing in the sun. We explored the local stores (her being a bargainer for me) and I wandered over to her looking at this bracelet. It was ornate and intricate, a gold band with curving cuts through it highlighting the shimmering quality of the tiny embedded diamonds. It was clear she wouldn't ever be able to afford it, her father ran the bar we had a been in two nights ago and her mother ran the household. I had met them fleetingly but with their english it was difficult to say something of substance. I saw her looking at the bracelet and my heart broke. I had the money to buy it. She was worth it. I waited until she was preoccupied and bought her the bracelet, careful to make sure she didn't see me buy it. I walked her home and presented it to her at her door. Her eyes widened and she involuntarily grasped my wrist holding the bracelet. She insisted I return it. Immediately. I refused and her eyes welled up in tears, she kissed me roughly and laughed. She told me wait at her doorstep. Moments later she appeared with a necklace, it was fantastically gold and bright and she placed it around my neck. She told me she would see me tomorrow, same place, and we parted. I could barely contain my excitement as I told my roommate what happened, he listened silently to the whole story. I told him I was going to stay here and take care of her, I was certain this could work. He looked up at me and he was clearly uncomfortable. "She’s a prostitute". I almost hit him. He continued on quickly, "Think about it man, what are the odds that you have met this brilliant girl on a fucking party island and she just happens to fall for you!? Her friend I fucked was a bitch who tried to get money from me, you think this girl is different? Are you fucking insane? You bought this fuck expensive bracelet for her and she gives you back some shit chain and you're convinced its love after two days?". His words brought my word crashing around me. I was so angry, blinded by this girl I had failed to see I had fallen for a trick. He was right, in less than two days of knowing her I had bought her an extremely expensive gift and embarrassed myself in the process. Fuck. I had gone from being the happiest in my life to being the angriest, jaded human being. My roomate convinced me of my naiveté and my mood worsened. Unable to sleep I met her on the bridge the next morning.

I abused her, I called her names I dont want to repeat. In a rage of fury I tossed the necklace she gave me over the bridge and told her to keep the bracelet and go fuck herself. She was silent the whole time looking at me, tearing up. I walked away quickly before she had time to speak.

We moved from where we were to the other side of the island and my roommate was thrilled to have his friend back and I drank heavily to cope. After a few days my whole demeanour had changed to the point where I was depressing my roommate and he suggested we go back and see what we could do. I walked back to her house with my friend, literally the same building where the bar was underneath. The bar was closed and there were men outside, openly weeping. One I had recognised as her uncle ran towards me and pushed me up against a wall, I was too shocked to retaliate. My friend exploded into Greek swearing and asking what the fuck was going on. The men let me go and told me to fuck off or they would kill me. My friend said it was fine and continued to talk to them in Greek. I sat back in our room and waited. My head was awash with thoughts, none of them making sense, so I just waited patiently. My friend appeared about an hour later, his eyes were rimmed red and he proceeded to tell me everything. She wasn't a prostitute. She wasn't a gold-digger. The necklace she gave me was very, very expensive, and belonged to her grandmother who gave it to her grandfather, who gave it to her mother who gave it to her father.. it was passed through generations as a commitment to the one who you will marry. After I threw it off the bridge she was seen crying there by passerby’s, and eventually jumped. She was the backbone of the family, supporting her grandmother in old age. They had tried to warn her off me but she was convinced I was perfect. She gave me the necklace almost risking her position within the family and was heavily berated for it.

I went back home the following week and have had several suicide attempts since then. The worst is a recurring dream walking to meet her on the bridge. I always wake up before I see her, and it hurts to wake up. I dont think I will get over her, nor do I really want to. Valentines day holds no significance to me apart from wishing I could change what i've done.

If you have someone you love, do whatever you can to let them know it, and never show them anything less than 100% commitment. Thanks for reading, happy valentines

TL;DR; Dont take *anything** for granted*

Way_Too_Angry · 8 months

You know what costs less then vodka? CHOKING YOURSELF AND MASTURBATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dtrain323i · 8 months

Roses are Red, your skin is tan, shut the fuck up and get in my van

Billagio · 8 months

What kind is that?

polloks · 8 months

Roses are tits Roses are tits This poem is tits Tits.

moldy_walrus · 8 months

I just realized I've seen so many different versions of this poem I completely forgot the real last two lines. Anyone?

Matt08642 · 8 months

Hey bro, this was already stolen and reposted by 9gag. They love you for your content

Reggaepete · 8 months

OH NOES. it made his way to 9Gag :(

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