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all 86 comments

[–]flounder19 57 points58 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The Leprechaun tells me to burn things

[–]Neilio_Knarf 17 points18 points ago

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Now that you have their trust burn the house down

[–]Tofuboy 13 points14 points ago

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BURN THEM ALL!

[–]Pravusmentis 8 points9 points ago

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You've done good little Ralphy, now burn the house down,

[–]Rich_Cheese 4 points5 points ago

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Great plan Ralph. You saved the day!

[–]imike218 1 point2 points ago

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WITH THE LEMONS

[–]redsblue 1 point2 points ago

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There's a lemon behind that rock!

[–]skootles 153 points154 points ago

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My cat's breath smells like cat food.

[–]RyleyW 56 points57 points ago

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My cat's name is mittens

[–]elephantshoe13 13 points14 points ago

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Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn? She had mittens!

[–]thejiujitsupanda 13 points14 points ago

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My cat's name is Manly Stanley, also the name of my khajiit in skyrim

[–]Lampmonster1 34 points35 points ago

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Katy Perry's cat's name is Kitty Purry.

[–]TrueAmurrican 13 points14 points ago

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My cat weighs 30 pounds and eats too much diet food to make a difference.

[–]i_am_cat -1 points0 points ago

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My cat is 7'3" and beat up Chuck Norris during his tour in Vietnam.

[–]chwkdaniel 0 points1 point ago

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Wait a minute.........cats can't be cat owners!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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We haven't had a Cat Lincoln yet.

[–]ninjagummybear 0 points1 point ago

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My cat is a midget cat

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What does that have to do with anything?

[–]ftball21 7 points8 points ago

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my cat is actually a dog

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]DivineAna 1 point2 points ago

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one time, my dog ate its own throw-up.

[–]SwaqMeOut 0 points1 point ago

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My dog ate a dead squirrel once.

[–]okeefm 1 point2 points ago

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Wait, you're not CAT_FACTS_BOT.

[–]digiorknow 0 points1 point ago

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It's dead now.

[–]Bramblepelt[S] 1 point2 points ago

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My girlfriend's cat's name is Cat Benatar.

[–]NoodlesTheAlmighty 17 points18 points ago

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I bent my wookie!

[–]initialsdrummer 10 points11 points ago

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It's Reddit. What else would it be about? Boobs?

[–]Riseagainstitall 7 points8 points ago

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Social lives?

[–]Rich_Cheese 12 points13 points ago

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What the fuck is that.

[–]immabluedevil 9 points10 points ago

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I believe it's an old old wooden ship used in the civil war era.

[–]Riseagainstitall 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe that's it.

[–]Riseagainstitall 0 points1 point ago

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I heard its this thing where you go talk to these things called people. I'd like to try it out but I don't like these so-called "people."

[–]ImmaRoxiStar 1 point2 points ago

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You mean like facebook and twitter?

[–]Riseagainstitall 0 points1 point ago

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Or instagram and reddit? Sure

[–]duoizumi 0 points1 point ago

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Yes. Always.

[–]CallahanAutoSupply 8 points9 points ago

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My worm went in my mouth, and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?

[–]haiku_robot 2 points3 points ago

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My worm went in my 
mouth, and then I ate it. Can 
I have a new one?

[–]aphize 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]jcs1 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Charlie Chaplin!

[–]ImmaRoxiStar 0 points1 point ago

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Looks just like a yellow Michael Jordan.

[–]Goldcut 0 points1 point ago

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Racist-ass yellow people.

[–]Birthdaytits 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]freddy4940 3 points4 points ago

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Please...I must know her name! For the sake of science!

[–]redlightnetherlands 4 points5 points ago

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Miss Birthday Tits.

[–]g33n 1 point2 points ago

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Asuka Kirara

[–]Sir_Beret -2 points-1 points ago

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i want her. can i have her?

[–]tloftxj -2 points-1 points ago

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You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. Keep up the good work.

[–]multiplesifl 1 point2 points ago

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That is a bomb-ass afro on that kid in the back.

[–]turbofast 0 points1 point ago

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Or a cat sitting on his head.

[–]IamRigel 1 point2 points ago

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It tastes like burning!

[–]MonGorTheMad 1 point2 points ago

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I bent my wookie :(

[–]Nottobetriffledwith 1 point2 points ago

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Thousand upvotes or so for humor...the rest for cake day

[–]Solberg 1 point2 points ago

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When I grow up I want to go to Bovine University!

[–]DolceSpezia 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, screw you guys, I'll talk about my cats as much as I want. One of my cats names is Cupcake. He likes bellyrubs. There.

[–]UnknownArchive 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Ralph is ready for the internet. 12coms 554pts 2mos funny
Ralph is ready for the internet. 52coms 741pts 6mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]TheAlexBasso 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I glued my head to my shoulder...

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They are best viewed over the sound track to Benny Hill

[–]kbuck2000 0 points1 point ago

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I'm cuckoo for contraband!

[–]AriBBCP 0 points1 point ago

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why is "comments" in quotes? (mine are because i was quoting the title of the submission)

[–]robocop12 0 points1 point ago

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Ralph plz go

[–]snakers 0 points1 point ago

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"My daddy's gun tastes like pennies"

[–]JohnnyRompain 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And that's the rock where I saw the leprechaun. He tells me to burn things.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Upvote just for not begging for karma on your cake-day, have a good one mate!

[–]wiggum_ralph 0 points1 point ago

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I ated the purple berries.

[–]dasbootendisken 0 points1 point ago

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Oh God. High school teacher here and I have a kid I've said those exact words to (minus the Ralph).

[–]RonaldFuckingPaul 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]IDownvoteYourCat 0 points1 point ago

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my thoughts EXACTLY

[–]roboticinsides 0 points1 point ago

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Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!

[–]ctrip23 0 points1 point ago

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is that breezewood PA, the las vegas of fast food?

[–]cynical_lemming 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The doctor said my nose wouldn't bleed so much if I just kept my finger out of there.

[–]aahgfdjhgrhgh 0 points1 point ago

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SHUT UP INTERNET! YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS!

[–]loperoni 0 points1 point ago

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I miss my cat!

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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First of all, Happy Cakeday. Second, Thanks for posting!!! =)

[–]TheDesertFox 6 points7 points ago

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I upvoted him for not mentioning it in the title!

[–]ZmakiZ 0 points1 point ago

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Hold on a second!

Isn't that Sherri or Terri in the background?

What the fuck is she doing in Lisa's class?

[–]Lampmonster1 3 points4 points ago

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No, looks like them, but no.

[–]Hr0n 0 points1 point ago

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So yeah, I love my cats. Lazy little buggers, but that's what makes them so adorable.

[–]lonesoldier4789 -1 points0 points ago

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Reddit has caused me to fucking hate cats

[–]russiangn -2 points-1 points ago

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God I just laughed hard, ty

[–]lawlshane -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nobody cares how you feel

[–]andrewmp -1 points0 points ago

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When did Ralph become asian?

[–]geek_in_a_suit -1 points0 points ago

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i choo choo choose you

[–]DoubleDot -5 points-4 points ago

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No, you don't actually think that. Nor do you think anything remotely close to that. You just click it and think "I wonder what this is about".

None of you think the things that you keep posting. You post them because you want karma.