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Don't mess with chocolate, you'll get shanked! (i.imgur.com)
submitted 7 months ago by TjokzN
[–]Aznox99 47 points48 points49 points 7 months ago*
Chocolate and iron usually help with blood loss, but here it is causing it! Hohoho!
[–]TjokzN[S] 26 points27 points28 points 7 months ago
oh, the IRONy! OHOHOHO!
[–]drceverettkoop 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
The ironing is delicious.
[–]rumnscurvy -9 points-8 points-7 points 7 months ago
that was a bloody awful pun. It was not knife at all.
[–]DynixX 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago
wait what
[–]frogminator 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago
That was a terrible pun. It was not nice at all.
[–]DynixX 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
You have my eternal gratitude, kind hero of Reddit.
[–]frogminator 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Just doing my job, that is all
[–]HiVoltRock 3 points4 points5 points 7 months ago
Except knives aren't usually made of Iron. Certainly not a good knife
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 7 months ago
You don't quite know what steel is, do you?
[–]vincidahk 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago
100% pure steel that is...
[–]atomicthebomb 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago
The knife was a STEEL!
[–]Socky_McPuppet 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Straight from the steel mines!
[–]a_derp_in_thailand 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
its iron ore and corundum ore mixed together, duh!
[–]HiVoltRock 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Iron is a raw material but Steel is an allow basically consisting of iron and carbon...a subtle but very important difference. Yes, steel is "mostly" iron but it's not really iron anymore
[–]Freakin_Jedi 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
This is often the case in prison too.
[–]The_tittilator 7 points8 points9 points 7 months ago
Stabbed. Shank refers to an improvised weapon used to do the stabbing, otherwise known as a shiv. This was a knife though.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Well, words are defined by usage. I don't know about where you grew up, but where I grew up, the word just meant "stabbed with something."
[edit: though of course I accept that your definition was the original meaning.]
[–]Sietseo 36 points37 points38 points 7 months ago
This is infact Ashton Cutcher.
[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 37 points38 points39 points 7 months ago
*in fact *Kutcher
[–]Gwabin 6 points7 points8 points 7 months ago
I think the typo was intentional... Like he will Cutcher ass if you correct him again.
[–]OriginSoul 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Lol
[–]connorveale 13 points14 points15 points 7 months ago
Nice catch, BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop.
[–]livemachine 28 points29 points30 points 7 months ago
I feel like Bill Cosby saying that name in my head.
[–]normalboy 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Unfortunately, connorveale was violently electrocuted before he could finish his sentence.
[–]Sietseo 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Oh, well thank you for correcting me.
[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago
English teacher here. I'm also a plastic surgeon and a fish.
Well, i'm a Stegosaurus.
[–]lordsidious 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
*Butcher
[–]jackanapes8 -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago
*Cut him
[–]orbish 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago
That SNL skit had me in tears.
[–]costado 16 points17 points18 points 7 months ago
Where was this from? Looks like Ashton Kutcher
[–]WeaPonLTK 34 points35 points36 points 7 months ago
It's an SNL skit with Ashton Kutcher called 'Death by Chocolate'
[–]Safari_Ken 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
I remember it was the only sketch (series of sketches, rather) that made me laugh in that episode.
[–]Fazaman 14 points15 points16 points 7 months ago
That sounds like every SNL episode. One (if you're lucky) skit, and the rest is shit.
[–]moxiedrinker82 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago
Apparently the truth hurts. Sorry you're only getting downvotes.
[–]Fazaman 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago
My theory is that every season of SNL could be boiled down to one good episode. Shorten all the skits, and take only the best. Then it would be a good show. As it is, they take a mildly funny idea and pound it into the ground for five minutes. Have they not heard 'Brevity is the soul of wit'?
[–]HawaiianBrian 3 points4 points5 points 7 months ago
I couldn't agree more. I heard the reason they do this is because each skit has to occupy a certain amount of time between commercials. They have costume and set changes to work with, because the whole thing is shot live in one take.
And, really, it's a shame that's the format, because it directly hurts the funniness of SNL skits. The best sketch comedy shows (In Living Color come to mind) were pre-taped and had the chance to do multiple takes.
[–]moxiedrinker82 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Not sure if it's generational or what, I enjoyed SNL back in the late 90's and early 00's but it started going downhill after that (in my opinion). There are plenty who claim it went downhill after the 80's, some say it's brilliant still. Looking back at older episodes (late 90's - early 00's) I wonder why I thought it was so funny, but I also think the delivery was what made it work. For example: Pierce Brosnan's episode was hilarious. Similar to Alec Baldwin and Christopher Walken, the serious manner in which he attempted to deliver ridiculous dialog was what made it even more laughable.
[–]Myndsync 13 points14 points15 points 7 months ago
i thought the same thing... Ashton felt bad about what he did to Demi, went into a deep, spiraling depresion, sold off all his things for a chocolate suit and a knife(meth on the side), and then started stabbing hobos.
see it all the time
[–]trespassers_will 3 points4 points5 points 7 months ago
It is Ashton Kutcher, I think it might have been an SNL sketch
[–]Forgototherpassword 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
3 skits
http://www.hulu.com/watch/17137/saturday-night-live-death-by-chocolate-1-3
I think the thing that makes it most funny is how uncoordinated he is at the end (dropping knife/ tubes and running away).
[–]survo -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/323610/
[–]boshee 3 points4 points5 points 7 months ago
Never take angry grandpas candy either http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D53zPOfeZnU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
[–]CaptainHomicide 8 points9 points10 points 7 months ago
Death by chocolate.
[–]ElizaPet -4 points-3 points-2 points 7 months ago
Came here to say this.
[–]slamdunkmyjunk 7 points8 points9 points 7 months ago
Then fucking say it
[–]ChaosBozz 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago
Why did they film this?
[–]ruleofnuts 10 points11 points12 points 7 months ago
That's racist.
[–]Gr00ber 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago
Chocolate?
[–]ghostbite 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Looks like he wants s'more.
[–]Azulon212 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, death by chocolate!
[–]Rocketbird 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
This is an accurate depiction of how my friend Michael got stabbed.
[–]WhereIsMyCakeBaby 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Why, exactly, is Ashton Kutcher dressed as a chocolate bar whilst stabbing a man?
[–]dontgoatsemebro 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Because black people.
[–]LukeLukez 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Oh, funny they found a culinary commercial where a knife wielding choco---SWEET GOD, NO!
[–]hugmynd 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
This is in fact a knife.
[–]03Titanium 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Looks more like a knife than a shank.
[–]crmacjr 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
C'mon! Everyone knows milk chocolate is bad for you ... dark chocolate wouldn't do that.
[–]spidahman 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
SNL not WTF
[–]ullrsdream 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
I imagined this with Roberto's HA HA voice.
[–]mistywispy 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Chocolate never shanked me. Just made me fat.
[–]supervin 5 points6 points7 points 7 months ago
I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool. It was thirty seconds long. You know why? Because that's the maximum amount of time you can depict yourself having fun in an above-ground pool.
[–]mr18inches 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago
Looks like Mitch Hedburg is back from the dead
[–]supervin 6 points7 points8 points 7 months ago
I'm embarassed I commented in the wrong thread. :X
[–]mr18inches 5 points6 points7 points 7 months ago
I bet you were trying to comment on the one about the pool in basement, right?
[–]supervin 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Yap. I blame firefox.
[–]Timbukthree 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
The fact that it's here instead of the pool thread made it significantly funnier.
[–]BeanGrower 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Shanked means stabbed with a makeshift blade by the way.
[–]WTFYouTalkingAbout 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago
It's also evolved to mean "stabbed unexpectantly", just like "jumped" has lost some of its original meaning.
[–]RickRussellTX 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
It's shank or be shanked.
[–]TheWyndam-Price 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Y' can make Sangria in the turlet.
[–]ChocolateMeoww 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Yeah, don't fuck with me.
[–]Newrad2 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Bring it on in to chocolate townnnnnnnnnn
[–]ChocolateSC 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I'ma getcha.
[–]Classicrockguy 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
He kinda smiles like the joker
[–]Squirreldit 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Don't worry about Dark Chocolate though. That stuff is good for ya.
[–]Mreasymac 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Fa la la la-da de-dah, Death by Chocolate =D
[–]Rainfly_X 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Belongs in /r/funny.
[–]Tfeth282 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
THE CHOCOLATE IS A SPY!
[–]combatchuck 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Looks like it came directly from an Aphex Twin video.
[–]cheshiregrins 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
is that the Shamwow guy?
[–]HotRodLincoln 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I'd love to not kill you, but I'm far too busy...Being Delicious.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
LOL, I dont know what to say. Really?
[–]anthonydelv 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I'd watch out for that hippo too
[–]Mony_Tontana 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
looks like i won't be giving up chocolate for my new years resolution anymore...
[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
This.. probably would've been much more appropriate for r/ funny. Proper placement and all that. Even though it's not too horribly big of a detail for WTF these days.
[–]redmongrel 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I bet getting shanked hurts, a lot.
[–]Lymah 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
NBC... snl skit?
[–]gravitybomb123 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Brown on brown crime?
[–]woozey69 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Cicero! aren't you suppose to be in skyrim,and why are you wearing a chocolate suit?!
[–]purplewhiteblack 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Legit LOL
*Stabbed
[–]OnlyPostWhenDrunk 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
BOOBS! I LOVE BOOBS!
[–]quartamilk 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Punk'd just got a whole lot realer.
[–]Journalisto 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Good old chocolate. It gives you diabetes with a side of metal.
[–]ChocolateGod 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I APPROVE OF THIS!
[–]Cozmo23 -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago
I love it when I click on a link and think. "What the fuck" and then immediately look down wondering what crazy subreddit it is in and then see it is in the perfect place.
[–]AjaxCubed -2 points-1 points0 points 7 months ago
I don't remember this Olympic event....
[–]KfuckingP -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago
obligatory "thought it was gonna be a black guy" comment
[–]americanmusic -2 points-1 points0 points 7 months ago
Fake.
[–]TjokzN[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
no, it's extremely real! Chocolate murder happen every year and we have to open our eyes and face it, we cannot ignore it anymore!
[–]McBEAST -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago
Around chocolates, never relax.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
[–]Aznox99 47 points48 points49 points ago*
[–]TjokzN[S] 26 points27 points28 points ago
[–]drceverettkoop 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]HiVoltRock 3 points4 points5 points ago
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points ago
[–]vincidahk 4 points5 points6 points ago
[–]atomicthebomb 2 points3 points4 points ago
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[–]a_derp_in_thailand 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]HiVoltRock 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]Freakin_Jedi 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]The_tittilator 7 points8 points9 points ago
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]Sietseo 36 points37 points38 points ago
[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 37 points38 points39 points ago
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