This is always awkward when you share an office

paul_miner · 8 months

Some years ago a coworker did this. He farted and suddenly got up and walked out awkwardly (never had his back to me), and I noticed a wet spot on his chair. He came back some time later and carefully maneuvered back to his chair, never showing his back. I pretended to not notice any of this (not difficult, I normally try to tune out my surroundings).

I had been planning on working late that night, but I decided to leave then so he'd have some privacy to deal with the situation. I suspect the culprit was some beef jerky sticks we had been eating that day.

ChopandChange · 8 months

It's all good, I share an office with someone who thinks a thermos of sauerkraut is a normal breakfast. I could fucking shit on the desk and she'd never know.

Hyro0o0 · 8 months

There ought to be a movie about a jaded inner city man played by Tom Cruise who hasn't trusted farts since the tragic shart incident years ago. But against all odds he learns to trust farts again. And the trailer music will be this.

Feed_Me_Seymour · 8 months

"Never pass up a bathroom, never waste an erection, and never trust a fart."

-Jack Nicholson

--Michael Scott

daelpheia · 8 months

This is always awkward ~~when you share an office~~

Genmaken · 8 months

The worst is when you're alone and you fart, feeling sure that nobody is going to show up during the next five minutes...

Whoever shows up is going to KNOW who did it.

lumdumpling · 8 months

Currently being shuffled from computer to computer, room to room because I don't have an office right now- I take out my rage by gassing the fuck out of everyone and everything

MeLdArmy · 8 months

I share cramped quarters at times. Right when I think I'm alone, I let a silent one go and it ends up fucking reeking. At that time, someone decides they want to come over to my fucking office. EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

roaddog · 8 months

This is why I'm happy that the woman I share an office with has no sense of smell...as long as I keep 'em silent!

Memento1979 · 8 months

I was in Cambodia last month for two weeks, staying in pretty low-rent hotels and eating street hawker food. At the end of it, my wife and I went to Bangkok for a week in 5-star luxury. We both had a case of the shits for a couple of days in Bangkok, and we heeded the advice of an American woman we met while in Cambodia:

"Never trust a fart."

princessdisaster · 8 months

I’m the only female with 30 guys in the office and other stinky guys wandering in and out all day - they have farting competitions to see who is slinkiest - no one would notice if i add to the stink

Our office has kind of sweaty stinky boys locker room sent to it :-(

gigallyshlop · 8 months

Everyone has gambled with a fart and lost.

Jacosion · 8 months

That awkward moment when you realize a fart was actualy a poo.

miriannnn · 8 months

that's what the guy sitting behind me is currently thinking

Gr33ntumb · 8 months

Thanks for the giggles

BranchDavidian · 8 months

it took me a little while to learn this after having worked at home for a year and then suddenly transitioning into a crowded office. that was an embarrassment filled first month.

Busty_Beaver · 8 months

When I first started at Micky D's I felt this way... But then I realized over time that the smell of the kitchen covered up any other scent. And I mean ANY scent, other than burning muffins.

inyou329 · 8 months

I share an office, happened to me. She just walked in and said "I love that smell." thinking of Hand Sanitizer.

tommygato · 8 months

Make the switch from a leather chair to a fabric one...works wonders.

linkar88 · 8 months

Read that as over-thrusted.. oh boy.

stevesonaplane · 8 months

My loud trumpet farts never smell. It's the ones that silently leak out like some thick burning miasma.

notsothrowaway · 8 months

Underestimate is the word you want to use. Farts are never to be trusted.

PiArrSquared · 8 months

Read this as "This is always awkward when you share an orifice"

[deleted] · 8 months

You get used to it, I shared an office with the owner of my company a couple times for a few months. You think ah the boss man is not coming today, RIIIIIIIIIIIP. Two seconds later he walks through the door for the first time that day, good afternoon!

woofers02 · 8 months

Conversely, if you want to make sure someone comes to talk to you immediately, or you want someone to get on the elevator on the very next floor...

Neogodfather · 8 months

I have my own office, but the company fax is in it. Sometimes I rip a huge fart thinking it's okay because no one is around, but then someone walks in to use the fax. It gets really awkward.

MMD86 · 8 months

Son, one time I had full confidence in a fart. Shit all over myself.

trafficstar · 8 months

Happened today! I had a legit poker face though. (Overtrust because it was way louder than expected, no solids)

TootsMcAnus · 8 months

Something very similar happened to me. I wrote a poem about it:

First day on the job and I'm there to impress
Not sure how to act, not sure how to dress
One thing I know is my stomach's a mess
It's really a shame how I deal with the stress
You know what happened, it's easy to guess
My ass had a thought it chose to express
I tried to conceal it with little success
Contritely I went to my boss to confess
Was I fired for farting? The answer is yes

billybongthornton11 · 8 months

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ncyji/my_unfortunate_cake_day/

That's almost 2x the karma i got from this and it was my only link i submitted on my cake day. You win reposter of a repost, of a previously posted thing i saw, and reposted and saw that later more people had posted it better than I.

Arekku · 8 months

As my old high school coach used to say, "Never trust a fart."

doom_bagel · 8 months

Everyday in class

suckerswag · 8 months

It's even more awkward when you share a cockpit with someone. Happened to a buddy who pilots Airbuses.

nohiddenmeaning · 8 months

"I may have over-thrusted that fart" FTFY

woopsifarted · 8 months

Just say woops and move on. Works every time.

PatAunces · 8 months

Never trust a fart and never waste a hard on.

JonnyRobbie · 8 months

Over-Thrusted

FTFY

[deleted] · 8 months

You always fart next to a group of people. Can't really blame everyone for the stink can you?

menomenaa · 8 months

YES. I also sit very close to an older woman at work. She always says, towards the end of the day, that she smells perfume. She also doesn't love the smell of perfume so she's kind of annoyed by it. Now it's like an office joke, and they always ask her--do you smell it Mary!? at about 4:30. I think it's that towards the end of the day, I'm hot and sweaty and she can smell my deoderant because of how...well, hot and sweaty I'm getting.

I don't know how to explain that to her. Awkward.

787seattle · 8 months

That's why it's necessary to release a test fart.

purplempire · 8 months

up-vote for wording. good words.

SingularUnknown · 8 months

I read this as "this is always awkward when you share an orifice" changes the context a little.

troll_lady · 8 months

Never know when a fart will backstab you.

billiam732 · 8 months

This picture = story of my fucking life

justicefart · 8 months

Justice has ran it's course.

polinco · 8 months

Lol - did this today

abigolhotdog · 8 months

Today a co-worker came to me and bummed some change for the vending machine. Before he began his journey, he treated his underpants to a stagnant old man fart then proceeded to crop dust this beast all throughout my area. After the fog cleared I realized he took all my change. Frustration starts over.

FrenchMyToast · 8 months

Haha yes. My buddy at work hits me every time he can smell it. I may have a bruise.

jazzychill17 · 8 months

proceed to cough loudly for a couple of seconds.

bombproof · 8 months

I still haven't gotten the hang of the married couple fart etiquette.

fartbot · 8 months

   fartbot approves. upvoting...

TheHep · 8 months

[deleted]

[deleted] · 8 months

I sit next to a man who eats beefaroni every day for lunch, and then 'seals' people into their cubicles by trapping them with fart clouds.

captumlux · 8 months

I burst out laughing!

kalimashookdeday · 8 months

AKA: "Underestimating a fart" AKA "Shart"

Partially NSFW

RonaldFuckingPaul · 8 months

*OVER THRUSTED

also, repost

Thunderjugs · 8 months

This is why my husband spends the first 20 minutes in the bathroom when he gets home from work. Our words for farts: the after dinner push downs (obvious), stinky poots (dog farts) and the jujus (the little farts that randomly pop out over long periods of time, very annoying).

heretoplay · 8 months

Do that in the bathroom you ass.

Airazz · 8 months

Is this something that only happens to fat people? It never happened to me and I'm trying to think of a reason.

myinnervoice · 8 months

Why am I the first person to be amazed that everyone seems to fart at their desk?!

How fucking far are you from a toilet? Do you have such relaxed sphincters that you can't just hold it for a while?

TIL that I'm lucky to work where I do.

gl77 · 8 months

HERP-A-FUCKING-DERP!!! LOOK EVERYONE!!! A FART JOKE!!! DUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

MODERATORS

funny

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login