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all 53 comments

[–]frostbyte001 24 points25 points ago

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I have never once had sex in a dream. I've been about to have sex in many dreams, for many years, but I get cock-blocked every time. Every. Fucking. Time.

[–]Cromiell 8 points9 points ago

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Damn, man... You get cock-blocked even in your dreams?

I feel kind of bad for you.

You should get into Lucid Dreaming, if you want that to stop.

[–]biffskin 2 points3 points ago

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So how do you do that?

[–]Cromiell 9 points10 points ago*

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Several different ways. You should check this out, if you want to go through this in-depth, with lots of helpful tutorials, but I'll summarize in a few ways.

The first thing you can do is to train yourself to do reality checks and look for dream signs. Reality checks can be as simple as holding your breath. If you hold your breath in a dream, you will still be able to breath. These kinds of checks go hand-in-hand with dream signs. Dream signs are objects, people, or places which most commonly present themselves in your dreams. So, whenever you see said objects, people, or places in reality, you do a reality check. Eventually, you will train yourself to do this in a dream. So, whenever you're dreaming, you will do that reality check and realize it's a dream. At that point, you can do whatever you want.

The other way is a little bit easier because you can do it on your first try, if you are motivated enough. It requires no preparation like the other one does, but can be broken much easier. You go to bed like you always do and lay very still. Do not let your mind fall asleep, do not let it wander. Keep thinking about dreaming and dreams. Eventually, you will become numb and will afterwards go into dream paralysis. Dream paralysis is essentially your body falling asleep. It happens naturally, every night but, you are usually unconscious by this point. Now, this is the point at which a lot of people fail. During sleep paralysis, a person may experience auditory, sensory, and hypnagogic hallucination. Some of these include your heart beating really fast (even though it isn't), strange images forming on the back of your eyes and things touching you. From this, one may be terrified and break out of sleep paralysis by wanting to move, or they may become excited of their transition into sleep paralysis and wake their body up by the brain activity. In this method, you directly go into a dream once you pass sleep paralysis.

There's also a variant of the latter method, in which you drink large amounts of water, and set an alarm 1-2 hours before you usually wake up. This will allow you to wake up in the middle of the night, then immediately after, go into sleep paralysis sooner, experience it to a lower degree, and thus increasing the chance of you not breaking it.

EDIT: FORGOT A REALLY IMPORTANT THING: KEEP A DREAM JOURNAL. RECORD EVERY DREAM YOU HAVE, EVEN IF NOT LUCID. A LUCID DREAM IS WORTH NOTHING IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER IT.

[–]CrazyPurpleBacon 4 points5 points ago

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I've read about sleep paralysis and I can say one thing about that method: nope nope nope nope NOPE

[–]Cromiell 2 points3 points ago

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It's not as bad as it sounds. Yes, you can't move, but shortly after, you move into the dream and can do whatever you want. And if you don't want to be paralyzed for some reason, you can break out extremely easily.

[–]CrazyPurpleBacon 1 point2 points ago

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People have told me about stories where they had sleep paralysis and had demon experiences and all that stuff.

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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As long as you realize that any demon or monster is a figment of your own imagination and can't hurt you, you won't experience anything like that. Lucid dreaming is all about awareness and being able to realize that it's not reality. You can wake up from it if you want to. Think about movement, get excited, get loud. Scream in your dream and repeat over and over that you want to wake up. It'll work. Trust me. I've done it before.

[–]frostbyte001 1 point2 points ago

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When I was much younger, I sometimes had nightmares that I knew were dreams, but couldn't break out of them. Eventually, I did learn how to wake myself up, but breaking my sleep paralysis was exceedingly difficult.

[–]Cromiell 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps instead of breaking them, you should have faced them.

[–]frostbyte001 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, tell that to the five year old me, scared stiff of the evil robots and mysterious footsteps that come to kill him in his dreams.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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It varies. Having a quiet environment helps a lot. For me, it's maybe from 10 minutes to an hour, if I'm lucky. After 10 minutes minimum, your limbs go a bit numb, so that's already 60% of your body right there. The only thing that really becomes bothersome is the face. But... yeah... A person with a lot of irritants will not go into the paralysis as quickly as someone with few.

[–]mariamus 0 points1 point ago

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I experience sleep paralysis almost on a weekly basis. I've long since stopped freaking out over it, but I always get the same choking sensation. It's uncomfortable and scary at the same time, and I never dream when it happens. I tend to get small spasms as I try to wake up my body.

[–]ShaftyCakes 1 point2 points ago

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Is it weird if I didn't do any sort of preparation (not even like the 2nd method) when I had my first and only lucid dream?

It was at the beginning of my dream when I saw a clone of my cat playing with my cat, so I knew I was dreaming so I began 'controlling' it. Was it just an accidental reality check that I noticed which lead into a lucid dream?

[–]Killfuck_Soulshitter 2 points3 points ago

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Speaking of controlling lucid dreams, I have a boring story relevent to that.

The only time I ever had a lucid dream in recent history, my first idea was to make delicious hot chocolate. I can never make perfect hot chocolate in real life, it's always grainy or something, or I burn myself on it in my excitedness over chocolate and then can't taste it. So, there I am, in my dream, in my dream kitchen (that is, my regular kitchen, but in my dream), brewing hot chocolate. I wait around for whatever amount of time (as we all know, whatver amount of time is the only reasonable time measurement for events in dreams), and then the choclate is done. I pour it into my mug, and get ready to drink it (even in my dream, I'm too foolish to let it cool first). Just as the mug touches my lips, and I get read to drink, my girlfriend wakes me up. When she asks why I'm instantly grumpy, I tell her she ruined the possible best dream-moment of my dream-life. She still laughs at me for my boring dreams.

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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Lol. That's cool if your dream is to make the perfect hot chocolate. :)

Maybe you can try it again if you try some of these methods.

[–]ShaftyCakes 0 points1 point ago

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Well my lucid dream starting with my cat and her clone playing but when I left the house managed I joined a cooking show and I woke up before I was ever able to try what I made. That might have been for the better because it was chicken breast marinated in a cotton candy in water solution and then barbequed. It sounds interesting but I'd rather not try it for myself and end up really hating it.

[–]Killfuck_Soulshitter 1 point2 points ago

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... I know what I'm cooking tonight!

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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This sometimes happens. Your mind either doesn't set a "limit", so to speak, like it does in reality, so pretty much everything in a dream is normal to you, but that awareness can be drawn into a dream by the conscious you.

[–]KungfuDojo 1 point2 points ago

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So are you having sex in your dreams?

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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Sometimes. It's hard to stabilize the dream while doing so.

[–]biffskin 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome. I have researched it before but never found tips as good as these. It sounds like an amazing thing to be able to do. Are you able to control your own dreams or are you just more aware of what is happening in them? Can you lucid dream easily and consistently now? Can you give an example of when you were able to keep control of a dream and how real did it seem? Do you have a favourite thing to do when you are dreaming? Sorry to ask more questions, this stuff is fascinating and I can imagine that it is quite a powerful and exciting thing to experience.

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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From what I've heard, yes, you can control them to no limit, if you ever master the techniques. I started 2 a study on myself 2 weeks ago, but since then, have had 4 Lucid Dreams. Which is more than I've ever had in 2 weeks. When I was able to keep control of a dream... One of the strongest Lucid Dreams I had was when I went to sleep at about 1:00 AM, and woke up at 2:00-ish. I immediately went back to bed, and went into a dream. The first 1, I realized it was a dream, became excited, ran out of my dream-bed, hit a wall and woke up. The second one, when going into the dream, I saw polar bears. So I'm like "FUCK THIS SHIT." I get into the dream, and I'm about to wake myself up because polar bears are scary things. Then a polar bear comes at me, and I have to run. I'm running from this polar bear, and then I realize "Wait, this is a dream." So, I turn around and slam head-first into a beautiful woman. So, that's not exactly keeping control of a lucid dream, but it's close. Also, if you feel that you're losing control a good thing to do is to spin inside the dream. It's arbitrary, but it helps. My favourite thing to do in a dream is either dream-sex or flying. Both work and I've had a chance to try out the former in a half-lucid dream and the latter in a fully lucid dream.

[–]KungfuDojo 0 points1 point ago

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Sometimes when I sleep with a scarf (after catching a cold) I dream of getting choked. What can I do?

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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Besides not falling asleep with a scarf on? Lol.

You can try doing breathing exercises before bed or massaging your neck before bed. Anything that will loosen your neck muscles.

You can also try listening to music while going to sleep. And drinking a lot of water before you go to sleep. The reason being is that around that usual time when you start dreaming, those two things will wake you up in the middle of the night.

[–]frostbyte001 1 point2 points ago

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I keep trying. Nothing yet.

[–]Cromiell 0 points1 point ago

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The best situation to do the second method is when you haven't slept for a long time. It's easier to slip into sleep paralysis that way.

[–]UKMansonite 2 points3 points ago

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I do too. I always seem to wake up before anything actually happens. It's kind of sad.

[–]frostbyte001 0 points1 point ago

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We are just some sad little bunnies with popped balloons....

Wow, that sounded wrong.

[–]buddybonesbones 2 points3 points ago

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Your dreams are way too realistic.

[–]frostbyte001 0 points1 point ago

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I do have a S.O. now, so I've at least solved the problem in real life.

[–]MisterFaxSender 8 points9 points ago

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I want a bunny.

[–]blankgabriel3 5 points6 points ago

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I have a bunny.

[–]PoorFargoth 5 points6 points ago

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HEY EVERYONE THIS GUY HAS A BUNNY!

[–]con_orb 2 points3 points ago

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Show off

[–]Vishar 10 points11 points ago

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You forgot the part where you have to get out of bed and clean up...

[–]Cliza 2 points3 points ago

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Aww.... is it weird I feel sorry for the little guy?

[–]flac_id 1 point2 points ago

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I have pop pop in the attic.

[–]enhance_that -1 points0 points ago

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I almost upvoted you, and even commented with the next line, but then I realized your comment has nothing to do with this image, and you're just spouting Arrested Development lines trying to get upvotes. Arrested Developments are a privilege, an honor. Use them responsibly.

[–]flac_id -3 points-2 points ago

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It was fucking the balloon. The balloon popped. Pop pop was mistaken for a euphemism for fucking.

You can keep your upvote.

[–]rarimapirate 1 point2 points ago

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hahaha yes best thing I have seen on Reddit today, cheers

[–]ross-the-sauce-boss 0 points1 point ago

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Why did I watch this so many times?

[–]TakingKarmaFromABaby 0 points1 point ago

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I know! Right when the Bunny starts humping me the alarm go's off, and POOF, here I am awake and Bunny-less.

[–]BehindtheHype 0 points1 point ago

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That GIF is older than reddit, but it's still pretty damn great.

It's a great thing to just stare at stoned for 20 minutes. And give the action a sound...we used "skihgeh" and would stretch it out like so: skihhhhh-geeh

[–]honestchippy 0 points1 point ago

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Needle dick! Needle dick! Needle dick!

[–]optimusprime11 0 points1 point ago

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Damnit I was gonna say this!

[–]thesnakeinthegarden 0 points1 point ago

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imagine how tramatic this was for the rabbit. We knew it was a balloon but he thought he just got a new girlfriend. Half way through sex and she explodes and disappears and everyone around you starts laughing. I want you to picture that happening to you. What if your girlfriend/boyfriend exploded in the middle of your first time and your roommates and friends busted in and started laughing and couldn't explain to you what happened.

Not so funny now, is it assholes?

[–]Shnazzyone 0 points1 point ago

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Your gif is so tiny.

[–]ThanklessTask 0 points1 point ago

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Last night I dreamt I was in a western. . . . I woke up and I was still shooting.

[–]Galactic 0 points1 point ago

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I once had a dream where I met Mariah Carey. It was just the two of us in a room with a bed in the middle of it. She's lying on the bed in a very revealing negligee. She beckons for me to join her on the bed. I coolly sidle over to her. (Sidle: a sexy walk somewhere between a saunter and a mosey.)

As I casually slip into the bed next to her, I say in my sexiest of voices: "I thought you did a great job on that Titanic song." She stands up, replies: "That was Celine Dion, you idiot." and walks out of the room. Even in my dreams, I strike out.

This dream makes absolutely no sense. She was just a part of my own subconscious, which means I KNEW that she didn't sing that goddamn Titanic song. Did I strike out with her on purpose? Do I knowingly sabotage myself in romantic endeavors, or do I just not find Mariah Carey attractive? I had a very confused, unproductive day.

[–]12_Baconed_Narwhals 0 points1 point ago

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you know what's the worst? sex dream in class...

[–]UnlurkedToPost 0 points1 point ago

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Larger version? That gif is so small

[–]FurryEels 0 points1 point ago

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i wake up with that face every morning. also, wood.