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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 318

[–]skopey 336 points337 points ago

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:)p

[–]aguacate 53 points54 points ago

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:)p

:)pq(:

[–]cucco 86 points87 points ago

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How did you do that backwards p?

[–]skopey 3 points4 points ago

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:)b q(:

[–]p00pdog 29 points30 points ago

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I woke up in a super bad mood and have been having the worst morning. Everything just changed now. Thank you for lifting my spirits.

[–]skopey 21 points22 points ago

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:)p

[–]nokstar 7 points8 points ago

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))<>((

[–]remiped 6 points7 points ago

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Back and forth. Forever.

[–]slipperymulligan 0 points1 point ago

upvote for pooping back and forth.

[–]princeyassine 0 points1 point ago

=D~

[–]clemontree 177 points178 points ago

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I understand exactly what's physically going on here but my brain still skips like a scratched cd trying to process it.

[–]k80k80k80 25 points26 points ago

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Processing... Processing...

[–]DarnTheseSocks 15 points16 points ago

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Obviously they have prosthetic tongues attached below their lips.

[–]SmoothWD40 24 points25 points ago

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It's the closed eyes that are making my brain go all fuckwire.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

Mouth closed > Tongue out > Closed eyes......BZZZZZZZZT does not compute.

[–]Solkre 4 points5 points ago

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They can fix that at most movie rental places.

[–]swiftfoottim 2 points3 points ago

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I had the same reaction. Kept feeling like I was looking at some strange painting or something...

[–]McCue 68 points69 points ago

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How would you drink? Wouldn't you leak?

[–]VL3500 50 points51 points ago

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You get silicone plug, like that kind for stretched ears, and put it in.

[–]subdep 80 points81 points ago

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That's a first world problem, for sure.

[–]youngjeezyvsgbush 50 points51 points ago

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Isn't that a third world problem too? You know with Africans and their lip stretching?

[–]buckmow 23 points24 points ago

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[–]skurk 15 points16 points ago

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Kinda brings the term "duckface" to a whole new level, doesn't it?

[–]Joon01 15 points16 points ago

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More pelican face.

[–]AerialBreakfast 6 points7 points ago

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what did i just watch

[–]foreverisnever 5 points6 points ago

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I'm pretty sure I held my breath the whole time I watched that. Especially when the plate came out and they zoomed in on their lip like it was going to fall off.

[–]lily1218 4 points5 points ago

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someone get that woman a straw!

[–]don_caballero 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know why, but I found this hilarious.

[–]danguro 2 points3 points ago

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i.. i have the wrongest boner... i need to go throw up now

[–]dashboardspider 0 points1 point ago

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fuck. that. shit.

[–]bodmodman333 4 points5 points ago

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It wouldn't likely be silicone. I usually wear stone or glass in my 1/2 inch lip piercing.

[–]ladyhawthorne 3 points4 points ago

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Wouldn't that chip your teeth?

[–]crossjaw 2 points3 points ago

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Can they whistle or blow a balloon?

[–]RancorousC 86 points87 points ago

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That guy took all of his 7th grade doodles and got them tattooed on his face.

[–]Tig_Ol_Bitties_ 19 points20 points ago

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Thank you for giving me the greatest tattoo idea of all time

[–]fenshield 18 points19 points ago

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One one cheek, that hexagon "S" thing, on the other, the Van Halen logo, and all across the forehead, NOTHING BUT CUBES.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Ah, how I loved to draw swords n shit.

[–]Magnificent_Zero 0 points1 point ago

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Neck.

[–]isabellehenry 112 points113 points ago

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Yeah fuck that.

[–]MustStopMasturbating 42 points43 points ago

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No thank you.

[–]Aktve 1 point2 points ago

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Got you tagged as Fleshlight Balance ಠ_ಠ

[–]FUCK_YOUR_EX 8 points9 points ago

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Right?

[–]_pulsar 0 points1 point ago

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literally

[–]necromundus 6 points7 points ago

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Note the dude in this picture also has the whole "lizard tongue" split tongue thing goin on.

[–]somuchtime 42 points43 points ago

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Two Words.

Interesting blowjobs

[–]k80k80k80 79 points80 points ago

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Interesting fact: My friend is a nurse and she told me that any time they give someone a stoma (hole in the body like a colostomy or tracheostomy), they have to have a serious "DO NOT have sex in your stoma" talk.

[–]Solkre 48 points49 points ago

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From what I saw on 4chan last night, the success rate of this discussion isn't 100%.

[–]k80k80k80 11 points12 points ago

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From what my friend said, 4chan is correct.

[–]DoubleSpoiler 2 points3 points ago

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From what 4chan said, your friend is correct.

[–]MrArtless 2 points3 points ago

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From what k80k80k80 said, Redditors have friends.

[–]robeph 4 points5 points ago

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That...just...seems...so unsanitary as well as uncomfortable I don't see how it COULD be pleasurable.

[–]Solkre 5 points6 points ago*

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You must have missed the story on Reddit from a doctor's aid about a woman who came in with herpes all over her stoma.

*Someone else might be able to find the link. I think it was a thread about worst things you've seen in the doctor's office.

[–]k80k80k80 9 points10 points ago

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OH GOOD GOD NO OH THE HUMANITY... link please.

[–]twistinside 4 points5 points ago

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I heard from a doctor I worked with who did a rotation in a prison that the inmates would routinely refuse the colostomy takedown procedure (where they remove the stoma and reconnect the intestines) so as not to get rid of their money maker. Apparently they were just about the most rank, infested pieces of extra-abdominal small intestine you could imagine.

[–]k80k80k80 9 points10 points ago*

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I woke up this morning thinking that this day would be no different than any other- that I would go to bed tonight the same person that woke up this morning. This is no longer so. My belief system has changed on a fundamental level. There is my before life- before I knew about inmate intra-stoma prostitution, and there is my after life. This is going to take some time to process.

[–]twistinside 3 points4 points ago

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I actually felt really bad for you, then I cracked up. Now I can't tell if I should feel really, really bad because you're serious and I laughed or if we're all good because you were trying to be funny.

[–]k80k80k80 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know how I feel about anything anymore.

[–]twistinside 0 points1 point ago

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Really, really bad it is :(

[–]MaximumParsimony 0 points1 point ago

This is going to take some time to process.

I think we're all feeling the same way right now. Support group?

[–]PilarTernara2 6 points7 points ago

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ICU nurse here, and I can confirm this. One of my patients was a crack/meth whore. Her rates were $30 for vaginal intercourse, $15 for a BJ, and $10 for stoma sex. No anal because...well, no rectal access anymore.

[–]twistinside 1 point2 points ago

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Hi fellow ICU nurse! I'm glad we're using our ICU skills for the good of redditors.

[–]PilarTernara2 1 point2 points ago

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Neuro. You?

[–]twistinside 0 points1 point ago

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Multiservice adult for me, at a small hospital. I'm impressed, neuro is always my least favorite type of case. There's a nurse out there for every specialty I guess. Is neuro your preference?

[–]happylittletrees 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ReigninLikeA_MoFo 0 points1 point ago

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Nice work detective.

PS. You're username put the biggest fucking smile on my face. :))

[–]soggy_cereal 0 points1 point ago

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God dammit..

[–]ShesNotATreeDashy 0 points1 point ago

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I can't decide whether or not to ask for the link

[–]swagtech 3 points4 points ago

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I mean most of the time those stomas are for number two-ing, right? So what makes fucking in the stoma different than fucking in the butthole?

[–]k80k80k80 11 points12 points ago

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A stoma is not made to stretch like a butthole is. From what I understand, it is far easier to tear and then A. You have a leaky colostomy and B. the poop can infect the bejeezus out of your stoma when it tears. Also: STD... IN YOUR STOMA.

[–]swagtech 12 points13 points ago

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OH MY GOD WHY DID I ASK THIS QUESTION

[–]BlottoOtter 5 points6 points ago

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RULE 863:

Close browser window as soon as the word stoma appears

[–]twistinside 1 point2 points ago

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It doesn't hurt to get fucked in the stoma.

[–]cityroasted 10 points11 points ago

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Philly sidecar.

[–]k80k80k80 11 points12 points ago

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Good god... there's a name for it??

[–]mcfandrew 0 points1 point ago

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And is there a higher incidence of it in Philly? Is that how it got its name? So many questions.

[–]k80k80k80 1 point2 points ago

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I fear for my sanity and the safety of those around me. Why? Because I can't stop laughing at the "sidecar" part.

[–]Xer0day 0 points1 point ago

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Related story

It's the story under the OP

[–]youngjeezyvsgbush 5 points6 points ago

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Tip of the penis in chin hole.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 1 point2 points ago

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Just the tip.

[–]capt_slippy_fists 2 points3 points ago

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but, i bet she gets freaky....

[–]rcsheets 1 point2 points ago

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fair point...

[–]hateswomen 0 points1 point ago

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But I bet she sucks 90% of the time.

[–]smellypants 4 points5 points ago

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I like to call these type of piercings and tattoos "thanks for applying."

[–]Neo905 18 points19 points ago

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They look like dog penises

[–]Vaypo 18 points19 points ago

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"HEY! Let's cut holes in our lips and poke our tongues through!

[–]foot-long 3 points4 points ago

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life's tough, i'll just lower my sights so i can achieve a goal every now and again.

[–]BitterDivorcedDad 11 points12 points ago

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They'll never realize their dream of playing a trombone duet.

[–]piggnutt 24 points25 points ago

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or being employed

[–]touchy610 3 points4 points ago

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It's likely that (since they don't look too young) they have careers that don't require them to conform to a preconceived notion of what "success" and "reliability" have to look like. Or they're wealthy.

Most people that can afford so much work often aren't living in complete poverty.

[–]Brocklesocks 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks for not being a judgmental dick like so much of Reddit is when it comes to this kind of stuff.

[–]bodmodman333 1 point2 points ago

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Yes, thank you.

[–]MaximumParsimony 0 points1 point ago

Most people that can afford so much work often aren't living in complete poverty yet.

ftfy

[–]liberal_texan 3 points4 points ago

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Actually, with practice they could each be their own trombone duet.

[–]WhitePostIt 7 points8 points ago

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Well, it's their bodies, their money, their lifestyle.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]waterdevil19 40 points41 points ago

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Prove it.

[–]evelution 1 point2 points ago

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[PROOF]

[–]ringberar 13 points14 points ago

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serious?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]carolinax 7 points8 points ago

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jesus

[–]foot-long 17 points18 points ago

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an outrageous claim deserves an outrageous ultimatum.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]neuromonkey 1 point2 points ago

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When I think of you, I think of sex.

When I think it through, I'm glad you're my ex.

[–]hugh_jerections[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Best thing I've heard all day. I'll be using that one from now on. Thanks, buddy.

[–]neuromonkey 0 points1 point ago

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It's the Sex Execs song, "My Ex".

[–]PuntingYoshi 1 point2 points ago

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Am I'm the only one who noticed that we're staring through his ear?

[–]ohsnape 4 points5 points ago

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The scimitar sideburns are pretty sweet.

[–]jaimeleschocolats 4 points5 points ago

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Reminds me of these

[–]JonTin 0 points1 point ago

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How?

[–]jaimeleschocolats 0 points1 point ago

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Because their tusks grow through the roof of their mouth.

[–]JonTin 0 points1 point ago

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Wow didnt even notice that. Thought those were regular side-out-of-mouth tusks

[–]HorseFD 7 points8 points ago

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Where's that photo from? There is a chance I know both of those people ಠ_ಠ

[–]Jower 59 points60 points ago

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Not enough distinguishing features in that photo for you to be sure?

[–]robeph -1 points0 points ago

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No, you probably don't.

[–]bunsofcheese 2 points3 points ago

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i thought that was a growth.

then... ಠ_ಠ

[–]danoll 3 points4 points ago

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Fuck it! I'm going to say it. I think this is beautiful. I know it's different, but different is okay to me.

[–]rcsheets 12 points13 points ago

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Yes, different is okay. I don't think it's beautiful in this particular case, but it seems reasonable that these wouldn't be the only two people in the world who think this is cool.

BTW, do you want this mod yourself, or just like seeing it on others?

[–]P1h3r1e3d13 10 points11 points ago

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How brave of you.

[–]Oreckz 2 points3 points ago

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Agreed, I wouldn't get it done myself but it looks pretty cool.

[–]Berjj 5 points6 points ago

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Downvotes because he stated a conflicting yet non-offensive oppinion? Is Scumbag Steve and his ilk lurking about? Personally I didn't think that was the least attractive, but what the hell... Have an upvote!

[–]Yourmumlikesme 1 point2 points ago

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I think it's great too, not something I'd ever undertake myself. But gosh, how lovely do they look?

[–]jumpinjahosafa 1 point2 points ago

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The downvote brigade is in full force today eh? I personally don't think the girl is all that weird looking in fact she's probably quite an interesting person, and looks rather pretty imo.

[–]thatlaragirl 2 points3 points ago

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I agree. They are both quite beautiful. The tongues through the pierced chin is a little much for what I'd want to look at, but I'm certainly not disgusted.

[–]Yourmumlikesme 0 points1 point ago

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I'm guessing they just did that for the cute/funny photo, they probably wear plugs most of the time.

[–]thatlaragirl 0 points1 point ago

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I assumed as much. :)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Deergoose 4 points5 points ago

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I can't wait to see what these people look like in 20 years.

[–]Gobuchul 5 points6 points ago

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Twenty years older. You'll have a look at them and most probably think whatever you think now.

[–]MagicTarPitRide 2 points3 points ago

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r/boring-mediocre-notreallyWTF

[–]HyzerFlip 6 points7 points ago

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Why is r/wtf just 'old shit somebody found on BME' now?

[–]MagicTarPitRide 6 points7 points ago

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Because people are lazy as shit. Even the real WTF stuff being posted is usually just the same old bullshit people found by googling "wtf."

[–]drakeypoo 12 points13 points ago

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Go back to spacedicks

[–]touchy610 0 points1 point ago

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It sometimes seems to me that people want /r/wtf to become /r/spacedicks or /r/gore.

[–]2ndGig 1 point2 points ago

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This reminded me of Skyrim Orcs

[–]rcsheets 1 point2 points ago

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Well, never seen that one before.

[–]boborg 1 point2 points ago

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this is so weird

[–]Ialmostthewholepost 1 point2 points ago

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"I bet you I can drink a bottle of beer without opening my mouth!"

[–]glintsCollide 0 points1 point ago

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"Since there's a hole in your face, I'm not going to bet against you."

[–]painfiller 1 point2 points ago

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Kill it with fire, nuke it from the Orbit.

[–]lauhakae 0 points1 point ago

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wow, the girl in this picture has such a beautiful face. Now it's going to have scars all over it, I'm sure she'll be ecstatic about that decision in 10 years. nice username by the way.

[–]bodmodman333 0 points1 point ago

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I doubt it. people with mods tend to think these things through very well and would feel awkward without them. Trust me.

[–]OMGnoogies 10 points11 points ago

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Most people I know who have had mods at one point in time have had them sewn shut.

[–]wolvesscareme 3 points4 points ago

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bodmodman333 has this shit under control, nothing to see here.

[–]SirPlus -1 points0 points ago

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Really? How does an 18 year-old girl anticipate that she will spend her entire life without having attended a posh function or never having had to wear an evening dress. If these girls are happy to get married in full facial cutlery then fine. But they are going to look ridiculous in the photos in years to come. It might seem ludicrous now but, at some point, many of these people are going to be grandparents - do they really think they are going to look cool cradling their new grandchild with a pace full of nuts and bolts (to say nothing of puckering up to kiss the baby with two sets of lips) at the age pf 60 or 70? No, they are going to look like a leaky tool bag.

[–]Yourmumlikesme 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, what an open mind you have. If someone decides to undertake extreme body modifications, I think it;s unlikely that they intend to attend conventional "posh" functions, or wish to have that sort of wedding. And if they do, I'm sure they don't care if they don't look as one expects to look at those sorts of events. And what does it matter that they're going to be grandparents? I have never heard of any sort of mod affecting someone's ability to love or care for a child. It doesn't matter what they look like. Well, it shouldn't.

[–]SirPlus 2 points3 points ago

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If it doesn't matter what you look like, then why go to all the bother of getting it done in the first place? You can't turn vanity off and on at will. Also, you are assuming that someone who gets body mods done at an early age is going to continue live in a 'tribal' mind-set for the rest of their lives. Of course, there are many that do but, for the ones that don't, it's a lifetime spent looking like an embroidered pin cushion.

[–]bodmodman333 1 point2 points ago

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That is for them to contemplate. And I'm sure they have. If they want to look how that do at 70 thats for them to decide. If you don't like it then don't do it. Leaky tool bag? Maybe they would prefer that to being an average joe that goes through life never doing anything out of the ordinary and never exploring the limits of the body the spend their entire life in this world in.

[–]mcfandrew 1 point2 points ago

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"Give Grammy a kiss! C'mon!"

"NO! SHE'S A MONSTER!"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What's her number?

[–]unisaurrr 0 points1 point ago

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Who gives a shit what they do to their bodies? They're both gorgeous people and they have a beautiful son. The mods that they have are amazing and take a lot of tolerance for pain. Just because you people don't have the balls to do it, doesn't mean that it's wrong.

[–]my_little_mutation 0 points1 point ago

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It turned my stomach, only because I dont think I could do something like that. XD And they are both gorgeous people; Its so childish for people to tout their individual tastes as universal.

[–]Tylerdurdon 2 points3 points ago*

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That's going to be really nice when some of these folks turn 80, assuming they make it that far.

"Wow grandma, were you in the circus or did you join an African tribe (nsfw)?"

"Neither sonny, I did it to rebel against society."

"Interesting choice grandma...here, you dribbled your tea all over yourself again, let me get that..."


Edit: I used "sexy" instead of "nice" in my original post, which turned out to be a poor choice of words.

[–]MaunaLoona 1 point2 points ago

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You bring up a good point. How do you drink without leaking?

[–]robeph 3 points4 points ago

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No one is sexy when they're 80, so who gives a fuck.

[–]Tylerdurdon 1 point2 points ago

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True, poor choice of words on my part. Edited for clarity.

[–]robeph 2 points3 points ago

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If you like GILFs, that's on you, I'm not judging.

[–]Tylerdurdon 0 points1 point ago

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Shhh, we all have our secrets. Wrinkles...that's where it's at.

[–]stilesja 1 point2 points ago

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I believe the problem described is with drinking tea, not being sexy. But feel free to correct me if I missed something.

[–]robeph 0 points1 point ago

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That isn't what he implied.

That's going to be really sexy when some of these folks turn 80, assuming they make it that far.

Read it again. The examples following have nothing to do with the actual statement he was making about being 'sexy'

[–]stilesja 0 points1 point ago

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Where you see the word "sexy" I see the word "nice". Ninja Edit?

[–]robeph 0 points1 point ago

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Not a ninja edit. He has a star...plus he said he edited it.

[–]touchy610 0 points1 point ago

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I saw "sexy" at first, too.

Also, obvious edit.

[–]Tylerdurdon 0 points1 point ago

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yes, edit. My bad for the confusion.

[–]antido 0 points1 point ago

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You obviously haven't been paying attention to Madonna

[–]Truesday 1 point2 points ago

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Why is it usually suburban white people that do this?

[–]bodmodman333 4 points5 points ago

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Way to stereotype. Especially when most of these mods originated in tribal societies.

[–]DeepRoot 3 points4 points ago

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I've often wondered the same. Then I wonder if it's that they a little more well-off than I am and are not worried about working a job... like I do.

[–]bodmodman333 1 point2 points ago

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They work in the body modification industry.

[–]polarbear_15 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, fuck anything strange or different!

[–]ahbleza 0 points1 point ago

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[–]TheJanks 0 points1 point ago

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This proves there's someone for everyone.

[–]freeeky 0 points1 point ago

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love her eyebrows.

[–]rockeh 0 points1 point ago*

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Odd. The girl looks just like a girl I know.

[edit] Speling is hrad.

[–]juanitocaminante 0 points1 point ago

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YAY extra hole

[–]whiskey_punch 0 points1 point ago

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why?

[–]western_style_hj 0 points1 point ago

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nope nope nope nooooooooope

[–]RiotLeader 0 points1 point ago

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That's disgusting! :(

[–]audaciousterrapin 0 points1 point ago

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At first I was like well not everyone wants all those piercings - understandable, but to each their o.... what the fuck is that - and what the fuck - her too?

[–]audaciousterrapin 0 points1 point ago

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Kinda seems like they already have these naturally developed holes in their faces that work just perfectly for sticking your tongue out of.

[–]LionEyes54 0 points1 point ago

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People just keep getting weirder and weirder.

[–]Absolutlee 0 points1 point ago

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I am very easily creeped out, so I avoid all potentially creepy shit on reddit as much as possible, especially creepy sub-reddits. This one didn't look too bad, clicked on it and BOOM! 666 upvotes. Shit.

[–]Bohica69 0 points1 point ago

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You hang with a classy group of people. Lol

[–]princeyassine 0 points1 point ago

Are all of these people employed at either their tattoo/piercing parlor or local super independent coffee shop or that record store perpetually on the brink of shutting down?

[–]slapshotten11 1 point2 points ago

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well at least we all know there is a quick way to never get hired anywhere.

[–]Lemonscroggy 0 points1 point ago

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The guy's face piercings look infected.

[–]bodmodman333 -1 points0 points ago

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Haha. They aren't. This is a friend of mine and he is a very good body piercer. His cheeks and lip are stretched and they are healed well.

[–]AvatarJack 0 points1 point ago

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Pfft, who needs employment?

[–]mserenio 0 points1 point ago

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Whats wrong with opening your mouth?!?!!

[–]FUCK_YOUR_EX 0 points1 point ago

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Wow.. Glad you didn't fall for that shit. Your ex is fucking retarded. Have fun getting an infection dumb fuck.

[–]enceladus7 0 points1 point ago

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His tongue is split down the middle too ಠ_ಠ

[–]Democritus477 0 points1 point ago

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what the christ

[–]cheesy_ninja45 0 points1 point ago

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Ewww

[–]answerguru 0 points1 point ago

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I thought those were little horn implants they had, but now I realize, tongues. Through the holes.

[–]monodelab 0 points1 point ago

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Whoa, just... whoa ಠ_ಠ