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all 137 comments

[–]RickyBigRigs 156 points157 points ago

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I'd rather see: "I live with three girls [NSFW]"

[–]RunningBearMan 29 points30 points ago

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I expected to see an AMA. A NSFW AMA would be awesome however.

[–]bajster 1 point2 points ago

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I lived with 3 girls once. But only one of them had a nsfw kind of relationship with me. Would an AMA still be interesting? Lol

[–]AbasementPark 9 points10 points ago

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No

[–]_newtothis 5 points6 points ago

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That is what me (and most likely this guy) thought before they moved in. Now my Xbox is some workout videos bitch.

[–]Rosetti[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Actually yeah, that would have been better.

[–]jaciern4 -1 points0 points ago

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exactly what i came here to say, ARE WE BEST FRIENDS?

[–]case_closed 21 points22 points ago

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I live with three actors... whole all decided to become vegan recently. It's actually not so bad because now nobody eats my bacon.

[–]Rosetti[S] 17 points18 points ago

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Three actors, who all decided to become vegan?

My god, you are braver man than I could ever hope to be.

[–]raazurin 6 points7 points ago

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is your life a sitcom by any chance?

[–]finallymadeanaccount 1 point2 points ago

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But there must be a hell of a lot more farting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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And that solves the case of the bacon surplus.

Case closed.

[–]NonAmerican 0 points1 point ago

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Tell them you became vegan as well because you hate plants and want them to die.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What's so bad about other peoples eating habits?

[–]TurboGranny 43 points44 points ago

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I have 5 sisters, and this is the topic every time the others aren't around. "I'm the pretty one, aren't I? Everyone knows it right? You can admit it. Say it. Fucking say it, you ass hole!"

[–]douchebagertons 50 points51 points ago

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So. Much. Toilet paper. I think women make nests out of the stuff.

[–]MrPigger 5 points6 points ago

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I live with three guys who apparently all shit an ungodly amount so I feel your pain.

One of them has 4 shits a day just while he's at work. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even eat enough to warrant those 4, let alone the rest he has before and after work.

[–]g33n 3 points4 points ago

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I'm pretty sure he's not shitting every time he goes to the bathroom at work. Hint: he's playing Angry Birds

[–]MrPigger 2 points3 points ago

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Nah, those are leggit shits. He also goes for a couple of crafty wanks too. I wonder how long he actually spends working?

[–]BadEnding 2 points3 points ago

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"I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."

[–]Tiktaky 95 points96 points ago

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[–]TheShader 21 points22 points ago

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As a guy who frequently has long hair(Currently short), I have never understood this phenomenon.

[–]nickfromredcliff 22 points23 points ago

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They brush the shit out of their hair in the shower.

[–]HamsterChucker 6 points7 points ago

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Same here. I find lots of long hairs around my room, but never in the drain.

[–]Tiktaky 2 points3 points ago

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My sister in-laws brush their hair in the shower and wash their hair extensions. fake, dyed, bleached and heat-treated hair is more brittle than untreated hair, so it falls out more easily just from washing. Most guys don't straighten or bleach their longer hair (or when they do they use more natural products like a slow-bleach or lemon bleach) so they wont notice as much malting.

Worse than hair in the drain, is when you go to reach for teh soap, only to find millions of tiny hairs because some bitch doesn't know how to use shaving cream.

[–]rjw57 1 point2 points ago

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My sister in-laws brush their hair in the shower

Damn those Mormons...

[–]TheShader 0 points1 point ago

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I admit, I used to have the tiny hair problem(As I always shave in the shower). Of course I'd always clean out the drain myself(Then again, I'm the only one that uses the shower, so who else would?) I realized that if I take long between shaves, the drain will clog. If I keep myself constantly shaven, there's no problem and the hairs don't clog up. If I constantly let my hair get beyond stubble, then we'll have a problem.

With that said, I don't want to see the before pictures of whomever's leg is being shaven in that shower!

[–]Tiktaky 0 points1 point ago

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I always clean the drain after my showers, we have a pretty fine-mesh drain so most of the hair gets caught, I just pick it up and pop it in the bathroom bin. It just annoys me that before I shower I have to pick up and bin someone else's hair. we've thankfully never had a clog.

The hairs on the soap aren't long or dark at all, there are just a lot of them so its obvious, the girls rub soap on their legs instead of shaving cream, shave a bit then rub more soap on, each time they apply more soap they get a few more hairs on the soap. Then because they have already spent 30 minutes shaving they are too lazy to wash the hair off the soap. (I also don't understand how the girls take 30 minutes to do their calves,, I do my legs, thighs and full bikini zone in 10) If I forget to bring teh shaving cream in I will use the soap, and even with 1 days re-growth you can still get the little hairs on the soap, But you just need to take the time to clean the products you use and leave the shower in a state that you would be happy to find if you had to use someone elses shower.

[–]Stingerc 15 points16 points ago

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God bless you. I shared a flat with 3 Swedish girls at one point. All my friends thought it was amazing, but it was the biggest pain in the ass ever.

Thank god we had 2 bathrooms and they seem to prefer the bigger one, because otherwise it would have been impossible. I was constantly having to unclog drains and like you pointed out, the fucking tub/shower had a mountain of hair on the drain every day.

Even worse was when shark week came around, it fucking stunk to high ass in there, and they never bothered to empty out the trash bin full of bloody tampons. Add to that mountains of dirty dishes that would go unwashed until a fight about it would break out as a weekly occurrence and you get the picture.

Social we got along great, partied together quiet a bit, but this, and seeing them in all states of undress and hooking up with one of them was not worth it, believe me. If anything it made everything worse, since this made her feel entitled to ask me to borrow shit all the time. The day they moved out was one of the happiest of my life.

[–]Immynimmy 2 points3 points ago

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I shared a flat with 3 Swedish girls at one point.

Dear Penthouse...

[–]Stingerc -1 points0 points ago

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I wish...it was more along the lines of "To the police, here is how i strangled these drunken bitches after they threw up all over the bathroom floor, sink and toilet and left without cleaning up. Woke up later that day and pretended nothing was wrong with the bathroom, and didn't clean it until i complained about the smell and were all pouty and bitchy the rest of the day"

[–]Tiktaky 1 point2 points ago

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Even worse was when shark week came around

I have PMDD and I take a few days to empty the trash, but it has never smelt (partner conforms this) They must off been leaving them in too long or not wrapping them up properly before tossing them. Blegh, it's almost as bad as just bleeding on the floor.

I agree with your last point though, Never sleep with your roommate unless you are roommates because you were already sleeping together.

[–]Stingerc 0 points1 point ago

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I have no idea what they did to them. And you are right, have had plenty of other female roommates (it was a student flat in Madrid, so there was usually new people every six months) and it was never an issue. I think with them it was, like you mentioned, that they were very careless about their hygienic products. I really used that bathroom to shower, since the shower in the other bathroom was wonky, but when i did use it, it wasn't pleasant around that time of the month.

Like i mentioned, overall they were nice girls, and we got along fine. They just very inconsiderate and kind of gross regarding their hygiene, and it made it hard living with them and led to many uncomfortable conversations.

And yes, terrible idea, just made things awkward because it was just a random hookup. Problem was that i still had to see her every day for the next few months.

[–]ozone_one 3 points4 points ago

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I wish I could give you ten up votes for "when shark week came around"

[–]Deadlyd0g 0 points1 point ago

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Don't tell me that a Harem will be bad!! Anime says its fucking awesome! ಠ_ಠ

[–]Stingerc 0 points1 point ago

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One of my friends probably put it best when he said it was like buying a Alfa Romeo sports car "sounds like a great idea, but it's really a fucking nightmare." If you don't know about cars, Alfa Romeo are usually really pretty cars and they carry the mystique of being an Italian sports car, but owning one is a pain. They are temperamental, unreliable, and they never quiet work how you want them to. When they're doing ok, they're great, but you run the risk that it will stall and die on you at any moment.

On paper, it sounded great. Sharing a flat with 4 pretty girls, there was one that was only there for a month and a half, but 3 lived there for the spring semester and part of the summer. 2 were drop dead gorgeous, the other two were really pretty, but no where near as hot as the other two. But in the end, it drove me nuts. It was constant annoyance after constant annoyance.

Like I said they were really nice, fun to party with, if they were just friends, it would have been awesome. Living with them however was a totally different endeavor.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Also, shower fapping + girl hair = drain clogs + bathroom flooding.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I know absolutely nothing about what you are saying. This is absolutely hearsay.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 35 points36 points ago

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Bathrooms. Dear gods, the bathrooms. What the fuck do they do in there? How long does it take to pee, take a shit, and wash your hands? What are they reading while taking a crap? War and Peace? It's called a bathroom, yes, but that doesn't mean it should be treated like a spa. I've got to pee so badly I think my kidneys are shutting down, hurry the fuck up.

[–]dont_be_an_arse 24 points25 points ago

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the sink. use it.

[–]Anabiosis 7 points8 points ago

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I did this once, actually. It works. Mother stopped taking forever in the ONLY BATHROOM IN THE HOUSE once I explained I had pissed in the sink and the reasoning that led to this decision.

[–]Special_Mommy_Pop 0 points1 point ago

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Those 32 ounce yogurt containers work well in a pinch (as was written)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Products, products everywhere

[–]gatorbait721 0 points1 point ago

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Silly cultured_banana_slug, girls don't shit

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I also live with three girls http://imgur.com/kiaDG

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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You dog.

[–]urbanbanana 23 points24 points ago

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FEED ME AND TELL ME I'M PRETTY!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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NO, YOU TELL ME I'M PRETTY

[–]blamethegoats 12 points13 points ago

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As a girl, I was expecting this.

[–]HellaBitchin 17 points18 points ago

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I'll handle this:

I live with three girls [NSFW] HELP!:

I live with a brunette (Jen), blonde (Britney) and redhead (Sam). It's like God blessed me with luck, but took a few points off of athleticism.

Every morning I end up getting up at the same time. I didn't used to, but they all have tight routines that they stick to. Doesn't bother me, helps me be on time.

The girls treat me like another woman if I have to be honest. You'd think that would be degrading ("friendzone LAWL") but it actually has it's perks. They pretty frequently walk around in t-shirts without bras, or just bras. I try not to ogle, but I take a peak when I can. I swear, these chicks could not have more perfect bodies. Sometimes (mostly when they are drunk), they will hang-out in their panties and a longer t-shirt. Maybe it's wrong but don't try to tell me you wouldn't look too.

Anyways, this one morning goes as they usually do. One of the girls (the redhead) starts talking about some hot guy at the bar who offered to take her home and then ditched her. Whatever. I'm only half-interested, more focused on brushing my teeth.

I finish getting ready and head out the door. I'm always an good hour early for my morning class, but I like to sit and eat breakfast at the coffee shop on campus. I was ten minutes away from home when I realized I had left a paper that was due today at home. I pulled a u-turn.

Here's where things start to get serious.

I walk in and Sam and Jen get up quick off the couch, the way people do when they are caught doing something. Brit is in her room. Sam is blushing like mad. I spoke first.

"Should I... Ugh..." Then I realize the girls are wearing less clothes than when I left. I see a pair of panties on the floor next to the couch. I decide to just leave. I know I've stepped into something I shouldn't have.

I'm walking down the hallway half rationalizing the situation, half fantasizing an ideal one. I get outside and am fiddling with my car keys when Jen runs outside.

"Hey. Listen. Do you think Sam is pretty?"

"Yeah of course."

"Come inside."

"What? I have school in-"

"Trust me. We all see you look." She winks. I can feel it in the tip of my penis. I follow her back inside.

Now Britney is standing in the living room too. Sam hasn't stopped blushing. Jen puts her hands on her hips and looks at me.

"Sam has never had an orgasm. I was going to help her. When you left just now I thought maybe you could help too. She agreed."

I look at Jen, then Sam. Sam is looking at me now. She nods in confirmation. I'm in shock, but manage some sound of agreement on my end.

Next thing you know my fingers are running down her stomach and across the lips of her vagina. She flicks her tongue into my mouth. Her face is hot but I can feel the excitement in the way she kisses me. I begin rubbing her clit gently off and on. She pushes her hips against my hand.

Brit speaks. "Do you mind if we stay and watch?"

I had forgotten they were present. I tell them yes, and Jen, being the confident little thing she is comes over and moves my hand out of the way.

"I'll handle that if you'll get inside her." I am in a flash.

I'm holding sam by her legs, kneeling next to her as a slide myself in and out of her. She begins to moan quietly, even shyly, as she is penetrated and fingered at the same time.

Things heat up quick. I look over at brit for a second and she is masturbating as subtly as possible.

Jen and Sam in unison "Don't stop". Sam is getting close. Her nails dig into my arm. I can feel Jen playing with Sam's clit under me. Sam starts squirming. She pushes me so I'm kneeling, fucking her while she's lying down. She pinches her own nipple and moans loudly. Her pussy sounds as wet as it feels.

I give a hard, rough thrust and stay inside her. She screams, and her hips writhe against me. She is beet red, and sweating. She thanks me under her breathe. Jen licks her fingers inbetween saying "nice job sport".

The brit comes her.

"Jesus, I think this man deserves an award. We can't send him to class like this."

She gets on her knees and shoves my cock in her mouth. She grabs my hand and makes me facefuck her. Jen rolls her eyes. "She sure does love to gag..."

I give her a courtesy tap and she deepthroats my cock. I cum straight down her throat. When I'm done she pulls away and takes a deep breath.

"I love how hot cum feels on my tongue."

I get dressed. I was late for school.

I got a text later that day from Jen.

"My turn next time ;)"

It went. okay.

[–]gosslot 7 points8 points ago

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You forgot your damn paper AGAIN!

[–]JTDeuce 5 points6 points ago

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With every fiber of my being, I wish this was true and my reality.

[–]Cloukyo 7 points8 points ago

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cool

[–]Cloukyo 6 points7 points ago

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story

[–]Cloukyo 7 points8 points ago

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bro

[–]thefreq -2 points-1 points ago

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sef

[–]Mr_Titicaca 10 points11 points ago

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I expected titties. Fuck.

[–]asharkey3 24 points25 points ago

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Are you a lucky bastard or eternally friendzoned?

[–]WhitestAfrican 53 points54 points ago

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You never fuck your roommates unless they are your girlfriend...

[–]D0wnb0at 8 points9 points ago

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This is the reason I dont house share with girls anymore. I used to live with 2 girls (slept with both) prior to that lived with 1 girl (slept with her) now I live with a bloke. Lets hope the trend doesnt continue!!!

[–]soawesomejohn 6 points7 points ago

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Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[–]Cinnacism 1 point2 points ago

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That episode of Seinfeld was just on the other night.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 0 points1 point ago

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Unless he has a sex change, then you can add 'slept with her.'

[–]JTDeuce 0 points1 point ago

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ew

[–]thegirlfromoz 5 points6 points ago

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I think the phrase you are looking for is "You don't screw the crew".

[–]asharkey3 5 points6 points ago

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words to live by lol

[–]darkscout 13 points14 points ago

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And you never become roommates with your girlfriend.

[–]bhillin 12 points13 points ago

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I don't think I'd want to live with a girl I have benefits with. I'd probably friendzone myself if that were the case.

[–]ImAlwaysThatGuy 6 points7 points ago

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No marriage or live in girlfriend for this one.

[–]Rosetti[S] 1 point2 points ago

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These are girls I met in first year (university), lived with in second year (with 4 other guys) and now live with again in final year (with one other guy).

Every time they go out, they drink too much, and split their time between hating on men, listening to shit music, crying, and then circle jerking about their appearances.

[–]funtor_funtington 1 point2 points ago

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Which one are you, friend?

[–]RunningBearMan 6 points7 points ago

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friendo?

FTFY

[–]asharkey3 1 point2 points ago

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Engaged lol

[–]u83rmensch 1 point2 points ago*

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I lived with 2 girls for almost all of last year.. it was not the later :( Edit: *latter.

[–]Majoring_In_Vaginas 0 points1 point ago

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Latter?

[–]u83rmensch 1 point2 points ago

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yup.. missed that other "t" thanks edit: realizing I may have failed harder then that now, to late for me to give a fuck.

[–]OBNOXIOUSNAME 0 points1 point ago

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too?

[–]u83rmensch 0 points1 point ago

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um. no? fuck im just lost now

[–]pyrobyro 0 points1 point ago

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I'm in the same situation, but last time someone on reddit asked if I was the luckiest person ever or gay.

[–]mrsushisushi -1 points0 points ago

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or a girl?

[–]asharkey3 0 points1 point ago

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context implied otherwise

[–]gigantepicante -1 points0 points ago

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Because those are clearly the only two options...

[–]aninma 2 points3 points ago

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you have officially one upped jack tripper

[–]typtyphus 3 points4 points ago

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now get your phone cam out and pretend to be gay

[–]ProfessorD2 3 points4 points ago

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I also live with three women. I've yet to see bare tit, but find used tampons, shower wookies, and unflushed turds on a regular basis. It's almost enough to make a straight man wanna suck a dick.

[–]dweeb_plus_plus 8 points9 points ago

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I don't feel bad for you. Sorry.

[–]madreus 2 points3 points ago

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I just moved in with 3 girls 3 days ago. The worst part is their "organization" inside their disorganization (i.e., to me it looks out of place, for them "that's where I want it to be".)

[–]Rampachs 2 points3 points ago

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Method in the madness?

I just realised I'm like this too. Especially with my note taking.

[–]madreus 0 points1 point ago

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I just set the example by being impeccably clean. Yesterday I cleaned the whole fridge so I hope now they would be to "embarrassed" to fuck this up as I did it without any obligation as I just moved in and none of my stuff is there yet.

[–]NonViolentWar 2 points3 points ago

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The hair stuck to your shower wall must be glorious.

[–]Rampachs 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ People stick it to the wall?

[–]JTDeuce 2 points3 points ago

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My sister did before I moved out for college. Pissed me off more than anything. She had to make that extra effort to be a bitch. Fuck her.

[–]Kazang 0 points1 point ago

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It's unlikely she did it on purpose, when you have long hair and wash it some will get stuck to your fingers, the best way to get it off quickly is to flick it off, this sometimes means it will hit the wall and not the floor.

[–]goldemerald 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Acco 2 points3 points ago

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I live with one girl and it's pretty much the same.

[–]Iable-A 10 points11 points ago

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Do they walk around the place naked or in very sexy clothes? Then I would tell them they're pretty all they like

[–]bibimcmacky 6 points7 points ago

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Anyone else think Trixie kinda looks like Katy Perry?

[–]Scorp63 1 point2 points ago

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I think she looks more like

[–]todwellondreams 1 point2 points ago

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This is good advice.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I kinda was expecting a vacuum cleaner with a LOT of hair clogging the front

[–]MadePancakesOnce 1 point2 points ago

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No, no, no. This is all wrong. They would be constantly asking "Am I the prettiest?"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I live with one with very long hair. Our drain looks much worse even after a shower or two. I just let it go until the drain quits working and then pull up huge blobs and leave it on the ledge-- like skulls on a pike.

[–]chrysrobyn 1 point2 points ago

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"Were I unwed, I would take you on a manly fashion."

[–]To_Fap_or_Not_To_Fap 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ballinonabudget 6 points7 points ago

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haha you're crazy. I'm a girl and I live with 3 guys cause I wouldn't have been able to handle that

[–]youdontlookitalian 19 points20 points ago

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Sharing attention?

[–]picklemerchant 5 points6 points ago

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my house is 1 girl 3 guys... she hates when we have other girls around because we "talk to them."

[–]ballinonabudget 1 point2 points ago

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haha that's pretty weak. I don't mind when other girls come over, as long as their not annoying and dumb it's fine by me. same rule applies to guys coming over lol

[–]picklemerchant 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah see, some girls get it! We are just unlucky to some extent. I mean, she isn't a horrible person, but she does buy into a lot of bitchy nature and assumes that every other girl is out to get her somehow. Everything is heaps competitive to her.

[–]ballinonabudget 0 points1 point ago

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damn, yeah if I was like that I don't think my roommates would live with me lol

[–]Exoneration 2 points3 points ago

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Are you the New Girl?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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adorkable

why?

[–]iRjeff 1 point2 points ago

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Now that's an epic face.

[–]firestarter764 3 points4 points ago

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Is this Eli? If this isn't Eli, Eli needs to see this.

[–]tekno45 1 point2 points ago

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Drazen?

[–]Exoneration 3 points4 points ago

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Eli . . . Manning?

[–]asssssssssssss 1 point2 points ago

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you're pretty

[–]Pturd 0 points1 point ago

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What, no cup?

[–]17Hongo 0 points1 point ago

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It looks like they're in a library. In which case the megaphone is completely over the line.

[–]Mxbn0 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed at this far more than I should have.

[–]geekay 0 points1 point ago

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I lived four girls, i know your pain.

[–]Lord_Migit 0 points1 point ago

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I lived with 3 girls in my final year of Uni. Seriously difficult, you get 1 peaceful week a month!

[–]ZettaSlow 0 points1 point ago

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waiting for relevant rule 34...

[–]Paultimate79 0 points1 point ago

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I'll tell them they are pretty.

With my penis.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]BlackDave 0 points1 point ago

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That's like that fat gay guy that lives with the three girls in the movie "no strings attached"

[–]Flanders2 0 points1 point ago

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Pics or it didn't happen!!

[–]samurai_9 -5 points-4 points ago

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Gender-typing, girls are fucking batshit crazy. You are a brave man. (also, I'm a girl. I can't live with them, they don't make sense to me at all). Their logic is flawed in almost everything.

[–]HermyKermy 15 points16 points ago

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Thanks for sticking up for the ladies, lady.

[–]samurai_9 0 points1 point ago

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Call em how i see em.

[–]blart_history 8 points9 points ago

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You must be so special and free of drama.

[–]Thandor 0 points1 point ago

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I do as well. I think the more reductively true caption would have been "GIVE ME ATTENTION!"

[–]jessonfoo 0 points1 point ago

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what if... he is a she o.o

[–]THEuguminator13 0 points1 point ago

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SAME.

[–]sighnousernames 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]TMIguy 0 points1 point ago

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[–]dasmi3 -1 points0 points ago

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I lived with one girl hair was all over the bathroom and she would also flat iron her hair and it stuck up the entire apartment it was disgusting.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]