top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]grahvity 1382 points1383 points ago

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[–]CarismoCarlander 122 points123 points ago

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[–]bluegator 176 points177 points ago

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That book should be a sandwich...

[–]shitterplug 396 points397 points ago

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[–]Kinch_ 173 points174 points ago

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annnnnd now he's fingering a sandwich.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Shim_Hutch 46 points47 points ago

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FingerBang... Bang! Bang!

[–]IsomorphicAlgorithm 154 points155 points ago

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[–]Jamwee 30 points31 points ago

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Or KFC...

[–]SimilarSimian 1706 points1707 points ago

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Has to be deliberate.......has to be

[–]HuxleyBomb 535 points536 points ago

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I'm certain it is. I'm betting he's actually a pretty funny guy that has a good humor about his physique. And then people on the bus think THEY'RE the clever ones by taking a picture of him.

[–]lkmeq 289 points290 points ago

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Your assumption is 150% correct.

[–]Atersed 204 points205 points ago

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Your math however...

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 131 points132 points ago

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Is 150% incorrect?

[–]dekonstruktr 162 points163 points ago

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Shit.. I got 167% incorrect

[–]pfftYeahRight 56 points57 points ago

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That's within the margin of error though, so you're cool

[–]M8ker 43 points44 points ago

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mmmm... margin

[–]FatCat433 6 points7 points ago

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Fool! That's "I Can't Believe it's No Margin"!

[–]WazWaz 4 points5 points ago

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33⅓% of the 150% is incorrect, the remaining 100% is correct.

[–]HighAndDrunk 21 points22 points ago

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i bet you're right. but it's a train, an elevated train, in Chicago.

[–]PeopleAreStaring 288 points289 points ago

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I hope it is...

[–]lkmeq 1843 points1844 points ago*

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It is, he's my roommate from last year.

Proof: http://imgur.com/gsrZK

EDIT: First things first: he always notes that people 'pretend' to be on their phones while they snap a photo all the time. He continually tells people that what he's wearing is indeed deliberate and they're more than welcome to shoot a photograph.

EDIT 2: Again, you (all) can assume it was set up. Doesn't bother me in the least bit. I'm surprised it took this long for a photo of him to pop up on the internet (being in the large city of Chicago). Plus I check reddit frequently, and I no longer live in Chicago.

Overall he's one of the few people I can truly say I've had the pleasure of knowing; he's a very funny, intelligent and genuine person that takes life in a humorous manner.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]JackieHerera 7 points8 points ago

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man every time i get on the el now i'm gonna think of this

[–]smokinjoints 453 points454 points ago

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Well, that was quick.

[–]koshercowboy 143 points144 points ago

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AND REMEMBER, you saw it here first, on Reddit.

[–]NonAmerican 147 points148 points ago

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NO IT'S ALWAYS 4CHAN THAT IS FIRST YOU INFERIOR REDDITOR.

[–]koshercowboy 238 points239 points ago

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WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN AMERICAN. MORE LIKE AN AMERICAN'T.

[–]RebelinNeedofCause 48 points49 points ago

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You win.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I'll have to second that. He wins.

[–]Dr-Farnsworth 4 points5 points ago

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E-whaaaa?

[–]betocantu 2 points3 points ago

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MORE LIKE AN AMERICUNT

FTFY.

[–]mvanveen 11 points12 points ago

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PUNCTUATION, MOTHERFUCKER: DO YOU USE IT?

[–]Ax3boy 152 points153 points ago*

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It's the old reddit set-up.

Karma farming at its finest.

[–]koshercowboy 78 points79 points ago

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as real as pro-wrestling.

[–]irish711 32 points33 points ago

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That's that new move... The Sonic Kick. It's real, man. You wouldn't know.

[–]koshercowboy 8 points9 points ago

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I wouldn't know? Why do YOU get to know and not me?

[–]Faaaabulous 2 points3 points ago

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Well, we know that he studied 6 years under Grand Master Cheng to perfect that one kick.

[–]bolasaurus 13 points14 points ago

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IT'S REAL TO ME DAMMIT!!

[–]koshercowboy 33 points34 points ago

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AS REAL AS ARMSTRONG LANDING ON THE MOON

[–]TheGrimace1234 3 points4 points ago

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Satchmo is a god-damned hero. We'd still think the moon was made of cheese if he hadn't come along. Never forget.

[–]cookedbread 9 points10 points ago

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I love the double face palming guy in the background.

[–]tinfins 3 points4 points ago

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It actually looks like he's flipping someone the double bird. And I like to think it's all of us.

[–]whatthehelpp 253 points254 points ago

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RESPECT HIS AUTHORITAH

[–]lkmeq 120 points121 points ago

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Actually, no. I've been waiting to see a photo of him on the internet for some time now.

[–]mkrfctr 20 points21 points ago

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Have you checked the cam sites, you know, for science?

[–]AngryByte 23 points24 points ago

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Any cam sites that may have this dude on it is one cam site I will never browse.

[–]melancholytrumpetart 37 points38 points ago

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and there's the old cranky reddit cynic.

[–]in_it_to_lose_it 6 points7 points ago

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You liked the picture didn't you? You were happy to have an explanation weren't you?

Yeah, I figured.

[–]jaxioni 56 points57 points ago

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My guess is that you are Kenny, or Butters?

[–]lkmeq 166 points167 points ago

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His mom actually made me a Stan hat; it got us a lot of attention when we were on the subway.

[–]dmrnj 62 points63 points ago

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Pics!

[–]booksandpowertools 21 points22 points ago

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or it didn't happen!

[–]IsomorphicAlgorithm 5 points6 points ago

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Let's wait. lkmeq will deliver.

[–]lkmeq 2 points3 points ago

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Don't have any. I'd have to go visit him, then perhaps I could get a photo. But I don't think I'd remember next time I see him.

[–]Scerpes 15 points16 points ago

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Absolutely wrong of you to even mention this without pics.

[–]jubydoo 6 points7 points ago

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Awesome!

[–]Ax3boy 25 points26 points ago

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This... this can't be...

Does he always dress up like this? What's his personality like?

[–]lkmeq 69 points70 points ago

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He does it for attention. He's actually kind of like Cartman, he can sound liek him too. Although he isn't a sociopath.

[–]doobist[!] 42 points43 points ago

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So he just hates jews?

[–]lkmeq 41 points42 points ago

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Well he is pure German. But I don't think he really cares either way. He's a pretty open-minded person.

[–]Tokeydokey 19 points20 points ago

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Yeah, he is a nice guy, I played soccer with him for years!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]maz-o 24 points25 points ago

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Nigga what the fuck is JUICE?

[–]crackness 15 points16 points ago

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It's like DRANK, but for white people.

[–]kultursafari 9 points10 points ago

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I want that purple stuff!

[–]dtzitz 4 points5 points ago

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and no one gets why Dave Chappel just stopped?

[–]BelleDandy 2 points3 points ago

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Because people kept mis-spelling his name?

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points ago

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It was all a publicity stunt for RAMPART

[–]Redequlus 14 points15 points ago

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Is this the movie where Woody Harrelson goes to the prom?

[–]AThirdFoot[S] 129 points130 points ago

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HAHA! No way, so to clear a bit - I didn't take this picture. Found it via twitter, TinEye'd it, did some Reddit searching and found it hadn't been posted yet. No Karma was farmed.

[–]lkmeq 65 points66 points ago

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I know plenty of photos of him exist out there. As I said: I'm actually surprised it took this long for a photo of him to get on here.

[–]AThirdFoot[S] 44 points45 points ago

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Yeah, awesome. Well he looks like he doesn't take life too seriously, which I admire :)

[–]nirtydigger 5 points6 points ago

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Wow, I usually *meh* through these kinds of "look who i found" posts, but I went back and upvoted you for doing your proper research. Good work, sir! I wish more people would be this considerate.

[–]Exit_Only 40 points41 points ago

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Can we get an AMA from this guy? I just want to know if this guy has ever gotten laid because of his Cartman use. Mainly because I knew someone in the past who looked close to Kevin Smith and dressed up as Silent Bob for Holloween. He didn't say a word that night and still got sexytimes with a rather cute girl.

[–]lkmeq 24 points25 points ago

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A few people have asked this. I'm sure he'd be down. I've gotta talk with him about it though.

[–]captshady 16 points17 points ago

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Warn him first that over half of the AMA posts will be blatant attacks by people that just flat out hate big people.

[–]dtzitz 16 points17 points ago

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Another 10% of the posts will be confused attacks from people still angry about Woody Harrelson

[–]Eeizbee 2 points3 points ago

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and for the love of god tell him not to mention rampart

[–]kinggav 13 points14 points ago

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"I just want to know if this guy has ever gotten laid"

[–]Primera 2 points3 points ago

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He goes to the same school I do and we've been in a few classes together. I'll ask him if he's interested the next time I see him.

[–]TheFedUp99 37 points38 points ago

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He's out of character. What would Cartman be reading, "Everything you wanted to know about Cheesy Poofs"?

[–]Fei_Long 125 points126 points ago

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Mein kampf

[–]TheFedUp99 24 points25 points ago

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touché

[–]Fealiks 2 points3 points ago

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These two comments are the perfect description of Cartman's character development. He went from being the "I love cheesy poofs" fat kid to essentially a little fat Hitler.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

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GLAD TO KNOW THAT YOU'VE GOT A FAST FRIEND, CHAMP! DON'T LET IT FADE AWAY; TRUE FRIENDS CAN BE HARD TO FIND!

[–]r-r-r-rapeghost 15 points16 points ago

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Finding one of your comments makes my day, every time.

[–]chrisskinr 10 points11 points ago

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Chicago?

[–]lkmeq 4 points5 points ago

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Yup.

[–]RonWisely 2 points3 points ago

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All things go.

[–]VaughanThrilliams 4 points5 points ago

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that's awesome!

[–]windyy 3 points4 points ago

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The internet never ceases to amaze me.

[–]lilleswing 3 points4 points ago

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This guys seems super awesome, wish I knew him.

[–]spiffy_gullet 13 points14 points ago

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WHO WANTS TO TOUCH ME? I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME?

[–]duffkitty 12 points13 points ago

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MOM! Where's all my clothes!?!

In the washer sweety.

Oh God dammit! (pulls out Halloween costume)

[–]GradualProWrestler 2067 points2068 points ago

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I have several overweight friends who watch south park, and love to do Cartman impressions. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but there is some kind of connection or appeal between them that is noticeable. The kid in the picture could very well just coincidentally look like cartman, but I wouldn't be surprised is the fat loser just likes south park a lot and wants to be like his hero, cartman, instead of finding a real role model or hero, like myself. I'm not trying to be a typical internet jerk, but come on, just look at my biceps. I could crush the kid in the picture, the OP, or any of you fat worthless reddit twerps with one of my many finishing moves. None of you could last 2 minutes in the ring with me. So this Sunday, at Wrestlemania, when they ask you who killed Kenny, BE SURE TO TELL THEM IT WAS THE STRONGEST, FASTEST, MEANEST REDDITOR IN THE WOOORRRRRRRLDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO OHHH YEAHHH

[–]tonmeister2013 816 points817 points ago

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People need to read your whole comment before downvoting.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]fugees_and_funyuns 95 points96 points ago

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It's always great to see the work of others get recognized.

Upvotes for both of you.

[–]FancyKetchupIsnt 41 points42 points ago

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You have the best username. Period.

[–]Soonermandan 18 points19 points ago

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Yeah but now there's going to be a million shitty "gradual____" usernames ruining everything.

[–]omg_im_drunk 4 points5 points ago

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There already are a million "gradual______" usernames.

[–]Creepwood 23 points24 points ago

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I only downvoted because we're still on the Road to Wrestlemania and the closest event is Elimination Chamber on the 19th.

[–]Shadax 42 points43 points ago

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With all these "gradual X" novelty accounts around I've been able to pick up on it as soon as the comment starts taking a turn.

[–]NotSayingJustSaying 46 points47 points ago

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people really ought to read any comment before downvoting

[–]CatFiggy 3 points4 points ago

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I really love your username.

[–]Suddenly_Sexual 284 points285 points ago

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Fuck me.

[–]RealisticThoughts 117 points118 points ago

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Okay, let's get to it then.

[–]koshercowboy 11 points12 points ago

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Don't be having those realistic thoughts in public.

[–]hagerthehorrible 3 points4 points ago

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hop along, Neusbaum

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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Wait, have you seen my lats?

[–]Zer_Mortice 36 points37 points ago

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"Okay, hmm....that's a little mean but okay, wait, biceps, what, what's his usern OH GLORIOUS POST GLORIA GLORIA"

[–]sullythered 64 points65 points ago

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This is now one of my favorite reddit characters.

[–]HenryGifford 25 points26 points ago

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I like the idea of reddit characters instead of novelty accountns

[–]RAFFATTACK 13 points14 points ago

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In my mind, your all characters. It's hard to image each and every one of you being people. So you're all characters in the story of Reddit.

[–]goddamnsam 79 points80 points ago

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I kinda like it, but it's really just a less offensive Gradual_Nigger

[–]goofydylan8 48 points49 points ago

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Or a less awesome Gradual_BillCosby

[–]nukyew2 75 points76 points ago

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I'm honestly starting to believe it's the same guy.

Gradual_Nigger stopped posting a month ago, while Gradual_BillCosby started posting 15 days after Gradual_Nigger stopped.

Then 4 days ago, Gradual_BillCosby stopped posting, and it wasn't until yesterday that GradualProWestler started posting.

COINCIDENCE?

[–]James_Arkham 100 points101 points ago

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If it's the same person, I hope xe lives in a mansion made of pure karma.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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upvotes dont feed mouths

[–]dominic-cobb 2 points3 points ago

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Tell that to I_Rape_Cats.

[–]ExplodingSofa 3 points4 points ago

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... -slowclap-

[–]joeg215 27 points28 points ago

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I went from wanting to downvote you to wanting to do 20 pushups. You win my mind and the internet.

[–]cchambo 10 points11 points ago

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Except for the book. Cartman would never read

[–]Fort_Kick_Ass 3 points4 points ago

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Screw you guys... I'm going home.

[–]hmm92 381 points382 points ago

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He's reading, that's not Cartman, unless he's about to eat the book...

[–]KombuchaMushroomPeop 679 points680 points ago

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It's Mein Kampf.

[–]ttustudent 281 points282 points ago

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Mein Kampf II - Mel Gibson

[–]mrjderp 56 points57 points ago

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Mein Kampf II - The story of Mel

[–]farmerjohn_01 104 points105 points ago

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Mein Kampfy Chair.

[–]Capatown 101 points102 points ago

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[–]Giometrix 6 points7 points ago

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Wouldn't he just call it Mel Kampf?

[–]jackblackes 20 points21 points ago

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He is probably re-reading The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs. A classic adventure tale.

[–]songcharts 4 points5 points ago

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It's Catcher in the Rye...he looks pissed.

[–]yourmydinner 175 points176 points ago

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He does have a good sense of self humor.

[–]wave517 61 points62 points ago

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Agreed, kudos to him for not taking himself too seriously.

[–]collinse90 54 points55 points ago

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Coo.

[–]the5nowman 27 points28 points ago

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keeeeewwwl

[–]AlmostPoseidon 243 points244 points ago

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I respect his authority

[–]Peterisjustok 106 points107 points ago

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His Chicago Transit Authority? Sorry... I had to. That is a CTA train.

[–]kindofbutnotreally 24 points25 points ago

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his outfit says Brown Line.

[–]planification 2 points3 points ago

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The Brown Line usually has those weird single seats in the middle.

[–]Andy_Digital 11 points12 points ago

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Does anyone really know what time it is?

[–]KNueve83 5 points6 points ago

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Does anybody really care?

[–]datn 4 points5 points ago

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If so, I can't imagine why.

[–]Busted240 3 points4 points ago

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That's the first thing I noticed.

[–]Aiko17 43 points44 points ago

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his authoritah

[–]oldzealand 18 points19 points ago

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Whatevah, whatevah, he can do what he wants!

[–]aeromalzi 61 points62 points ago

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Our only savior against the hippie population.

[–]mutantlabor 14 points15 points ago

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Is that on the CTA by chance?

[–]crackthecracker 3 points4 points ago

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Yes it is

[–]PMan1 12 points13 points ago

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Screw you guys

[–]PandaBearShenyu 4 points5 points ago

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, I'm going home.

[–]Zomgwtf_Leetsauce 63 points64 points ago

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MOOOOOM!! HOT POCKET!

[–]Nickbou 50 points51 points ago

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MOOOOOMMMMM!!! BATHROOOOMMM!!!

[–]mrjderp 21 points22 points ago*

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This was one of my favorite scenes in all of South Park, I couldn't stop laughing at it.

edit: spelling derp.

[–]snid6505 31 points32 points ago

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BUT MEEEEEOOOOOOM!!!!!!

[–]KDIZZLL 9 points10 points ago

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Chicago?

[–]jukefrenzy 91 points92 points ago*

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I know him IRL! Verification Just sayin..

[–]darkangelle 93 points94 points ago

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I think the guy in the middle watched a movie he shouldn't have seen. He has 7 days to make a copy, please warn him!

[–]Vikingrage 12 points13 points ago

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And now we have 7 days to copypasta the picture before and...you know what, fuck it. Couldn't fini

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]KeyB0red 40 points41 points ago

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Perhaps It's time to wake up. We have been waiting for you to wake up.

[–]201109212215 25 points26 points ago

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[–]James_Arkham 23 points24 points ago

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I can't get over how Kenny is secretly Björk in that picture.

[–]swizzcheez 12 points13 points ago

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I've always liked this one for some reason.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Damien, Token, Pip, Timmy, Clyde, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Jimmy, Thomas, Butters, Craig, Tweek.

I think.

[–]Shazwhite 67 points68 points ago

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Bad kitty! It's my pot pie!!!

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points ago

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Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!

[–]Synergythepariah 37 points38 points ago

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I know a certain kitty-kitty that'll be sleeping with mommy tonight!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Screw you guys, I'm going home

[–]Polygon12 6 points7 points ago

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I really hope he's just said to his friends ' Screw you guy, i'm going home' Then immediately jumps on bus.

[–]gnomees 6 points7 points ago

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Is that eg Incontrol?

[–]maximusjesse 50 points51 points ago

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I read this as Catman, came here thoroughly disappointed....

[–]krimson 18 points19 points ago*

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perhaps i can help. here's catman.

[–]Interwhat 43 points44 points ago

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I prefer Adam West as catman

[–]dean-oh 8 points9 points ago

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False. Cartman does not read books.

[–]Ibroke 5 points6 points ago

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CTA?

[–]griffith12 11 points12 points ago

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I see Eric got stiffed on the iPad yet again.

[–]MisterTimur 3 points4 points ago

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Cue the memes.

[–]ncrocker 3 points4 points ago

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This has to be intentional on his part. You've been trolled.

[–]jaylow17 6 points7 points ago

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Chicago, representin'!

[–]LordOfGummies 27 points28 points ago

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And once again the first link on Reddit is someone with their photo taken without consent for the purpose of public humiliation.

[–]EchoHound 2 points3 points ago

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Where in Chicago does he live? I need to meet real life Cartman.

[–]raynbec 2 points3 points ago

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FUCK YOU KAALLLEE

[–]jailbaitjerry 2 points3 points ago

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Cartman can't read. That is a known fact.

[–]cmh5282 2 points3 points ago

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Reading Jew Stain, a new book by Clayton Bigsby

[–]chrismsx 2 points3 points ago

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he had to do that on purpose. Those hats aren't just lying around.

[–]casual_shoggoth 9 points10 points ago

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Tried to laugh, just felt sad instead.

[–]sudin 33 points34 points ago*

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I will probably be in the minority here, but just snapping a photo of someone and posting it on the internet, even if it's funny because of this or that context, is imho one of the worst douche moves people can pull off these days with everyone having ipods and cellphone cameras.

Did you at least walk up to him and asked for his permission? As for me I'd be mad as fuck if I encountered my own picture floating about in front of at least tens of thousands of people, again even if it's funny. And if you don't like it and want to do something about it sorry, too late, some douche posted your pic without thinking twice about it.

[–]VivaLaCuba 6 points7 points ago

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This also surprised me. Obviously, the guy has a good sense of humour, that's of course if the outfit is intentional. Even so, I can't help but feel it is slightly disrepectful, if not somewhat cruel. Hopefully OP enjoys his karma.

[–]halfstep 14 points15 points ago

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I came here to say this as well. It'd be one thing if he was somewhere trying to get attention or if he knew he was being photographed, but it seems to me he's minding his own business on a train.

This kind of behavior is stalker level and I don't see why it seems to be acceptable in this community.

[–]IAMANaquariumdrinker 4 points5 points ago

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Come on dudes, leave this guy alone.

[–]eaglebtc 2 points3 points ago

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He's not fat; he's big-boned. BEEFCAKE!

[–]deadman87 5 points6 points ago

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He's going home after screwing the guys

[–]victorious_secret69 1 point2 points ago

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HE LIVES!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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More like Ignatius J Reilly.

[–]zach2093 1 point2 points ago

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He's on Reddit right now and will notice this. Have a fun rest of the bus/train ride.

[–]jaheiner 1 point2 points ago

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You guys...seriously

[–]bekito 1 point2 points ago

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BEEFCAAAAAKE!