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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]splourde 534 points535 points ago*

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If anyone is interested, I did some research and found the ring maker's blog

EDIT: For information regarding the pricing of these rings, it says to email her.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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"This test pieces was made with some gold rings from my mother. I melted them."

Guy Gal doesn't fuck around

[–]exjentric 34 points35 points ago

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Thank you! I couldn't believe I had to go this far down in the comments to find it!

[–]craeyon 368 points369 points ago

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[–]proggR 230 points231 points ago

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Someone should record something that would offend every person on the planet and hang the waveform on the wall. When people ask "Oh, cool! What's that mean?" you can just say, "Oh, I dunno. I just thought it looked neat."

[–]natophonic 49 points50 points ago

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Many years ago, a buddy of mine and I sampled a porn video where the the woman screams "OH! Fuck my ASS!" and then used that sample, reversed, prominently in a track we were working on. People liked it, and it played well on the dancefloor, and they would often ask what that pterodactyl-sounding sample was. As first it was trolly good fun to reveal, but it quickly got kind of embarrassing, particularly when my buddy would get asked by a cute girl he was interested in. Only one person ever figured it out without any clues, and thereafter I always pestered that guy to critique our rough mixes.

Here you go: Lozenge

[–]archimedesscrew 2 points3 points ago

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I heard the whole track... I can't seem to fathom how he could've figured it out without actually reversing the sample.

He didn't find it out in his head, did he?

[–]natophonic 7 points8 points ago

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Well to clarify, he didn't get the whole "OH! Fuck my ASS!" phrase, but he did get that it was a sample from a porn flick, that it was a woman, and that part of it was 'ASS!' In his head, before the end of the first listen. I thought that was pretty amazing.

[–]magesing 145 points146 points ago

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naah, if waveforms were that popular, everyone would have a smartphone app which would take a picture of the waveform and play it.

[–]vincentrevelations 183 points184 points ago

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The problem with that is, the horizontal/temporal resolution seems to be pretty low. There's no way of turning this into sound.

[–]WorknForTheWeekend 125 points126 points ago

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ENHANCE!

[–]ninety9problems 37 points38 points ago

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It looks as if the husband said "I do" a lot quicker. Why so hesitant lady?

[–]CD7 16 points17 points ago

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Now just wait for this to be used in csi while interrogating a suspect.

[–]juturnaamo 186 points187 points ago

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I like how you took something geeky like engraved wave forms, and then out-geeked it by saying it isn't practical. Not even being sarcastic.

[–]AAlsmadi1 31 points32 points ago

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Nothing out geeky about it, you can clearly see it being too compressed...

[–]macaronisalad 5 points6 points ago*

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I'd imagine it wouldn't be much different than a digital recording with a very, very low bitrate. Then again, there exists technology that could read the waveform and "fill in the gaps" of what it couldn't read by deducting what it ought to be based on the height of and distance between each peak. Temporally, playback can be adjusted, and/or if the file is brought into any kind of software DAW, the waveform can be chopped up. It's not impossible if the image is large enough, it would be pretty crappy, but it can be done.

Edit - clarity

[–]vincentrevelations 8 points9 points ago

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If the temporary resolution is high enough it's most definitely possible, that's how it's done in some analog movie reels.

But in this image, the sampling frequency is way lower than the nyquist frequency, which makes it impossible to determine the pitch of the sound. It can be made up, but the only property you'll get from the original is the volume over time. That could be enough to discern the words, though.

[–]willo_sea 17 points18 points ago

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Want!

[–]rsocceraccount 11 points12 points ago

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It appears to be an appropriate time and place to post this - the modern day football banner.

[–]cludeo656565 48 points49 points ago*

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And this. You can clearly see the BIT and CH.

Edit: And here's a Fuck. Notice the fffffff then the uuuuu then the CK

[–]MestR 90 points91 points ago

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[–]LiathroidiDana 87 points88 points ago

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Anyone else just sitting here going; "Fuu-ck... FFFuck... F-uuck"?

[–]easternone 16 points17 points ago

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I can rest easy, knowing that right now countless members of the hivemind are sitting and chanting "Fuu-ck... FFFuck... F-uuck"

[–]hirashirou 59 points60 points ago

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Waveform of Morgan Freeman reading the first few paragraphs of "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs."

[–]Short_stuff 50 points51 points ago

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I just want a waveform of him saying: "Titty Sprinkles."

[–]jubydoo 22 points23 points ago

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I just heard Morgan Freeman say "Titty Sprinkles" in my head. It was pretty much awesome.

[–]deliciouswolves 16 points17 points ago*

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[–]foufousue 82 points83 points ago

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Oh yeah, there's always this

[–]deliciouswolves 443 points444 points ago*

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As someone who looks at waveforms of speech all day, I'm 90% sure that doesn't say nigger, at least not in English.

Edit: The actual waveform, i.e. an excellent use of my time.

[–]FyreWulff 70 points71 points ago

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After editing tons of podcasts I can identify "ummm.." by sight alone.

[–]tractorcrusher 239 points240 points ago

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As someone who looks at reddit all day, I'm 90% unsure whether to believe this or not.

[–]abeladi 218 points219 points ago

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but... do you believe in life after love?

[–]foxbottom 114 points115 points ago

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Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuusonuvabitch... now that damn song will be with me all day.

[–]Tayk5 69 points70 points ago

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I really don't think you're strong enough to resist hearing the melody in your head.

[–]foxbottom 34 points35 points ago

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NNNNNOOOOOOooooooooooo

[–]abeladi 63 points64 points ago

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after love after love after love

[–]trollofzog 32 points33 points ago

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Agreed, I'm an audio producer, that waveform, if speech looks to have 4 syllables in it. The even spacing of the spikes, and presence of heavy background sound leads to me believe it's actually music though.

[–]tractorcrusher 148 points149 points ago

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Only a racist would think that word is music to his ears.

[–]slimjim9059 17 points18 points ago

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im in the library with a black person on both sides of me and i still busted on laughing

[–]chalkycandy 65 points66 points ago

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That person must be pretty fat to be on both sides of you.

[–]crod242 11 points12 points ago

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Hey hey hey!

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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^ gold

[–]MajesticTowerOfHats 22 points23 points ago

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You are correct, here is what it looks like http://i.imgur.com/gfnQc.png

[–]mysteryguitarm 106 points107 points ago

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I can't believe you had the Audacity to post that...

[–]ptelder 2 points3 points ago

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Your pun appears to have fallen into a Rezound-ing silence.

[–]justincase1021 2 points3 points ago

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perhaps he should have Audition-ed his pun first

[–]ptelder 2 points3 points ago

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True. Would have been a Cakewalk for him.

[–]foufousue 6 points7 points ago

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Thank you.

[–]Pinyaka 18 points19 points ago

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They're yelling it through a fan.

[–]Alex-the-3217th 32 points33 points ago

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It's what it sounds like when someone on 4chan types it.

[–]Magoran 8 points9 points ago

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You would think it would just be the single press of a macro button

[–]Alex-the-3217th 9 points10 points ago

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I'd say that they wanted to add the personal touch.

[–]Reginault 9 points10 points ago

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Clicka clacka cloppa? Sounds about right.

[–]aoeu00 10 points11 points ago

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duh.. obviously, it's being said in another language. that's the subtitle.

[–]kDelta 3 points4 points ago

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Hey that's star magnitude data!

[–]cgycnd 13 points14 points ago

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I think that says something different than "I Do"...

[–]shay626 2 points3 points ago

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Is it possible to scan the image of a waveform and recreate the sound?

[–]bokonon1-5 2 points3 points ago

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my buddy is the founder of that company. It is called Bespoken Art. http://www.bespokenart.com/ Link in case you're curious. I thought the idea was pretty sweet.

[–]Edgar_Allan_Rich 49 points50 points ago

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"I love you."

"I know."

[–]Fact-o-Tron-9000 662 points663 points ago

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Did you know that we think the origin of wearing a wedding ring dates back to Ancient Egypt, where a man would present a ring to his wife to signify he trusted her with his household?

[–]DannyBiker 117 points118 points ago

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[–]omplatt 281 points282 points ago

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"crook, bumb, arm, green thingy, green thingy; green thingy, zig zag; bump, bird; bowl, green thingy, bump, tongs, bird, zig zag."

I now pronounce you husband and wife you may kiss the bride.

[–]jetaimemina 304 points305 points ago

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Sounds like Bill Cosby officiated at this wedding.

[–]sixgoodreasons 25 points26 points ago

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Oh man, real laughter was produced. And I hardly ever audibly laugh at stuff on the Internet these days.

[–]War_Junkie 26 points27 points ago

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[–]davidrools 2 points3 points ago

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I read that as "you may now kiss the bird"

[–]ZeeHanzenShwanz 43 points44 points ago

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aww honey, I bird squiggly line you too!

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points ago

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Play crochet with a burger bun that you hand over to the trees,

the tree needs watering.

Burger bun will attract a bird,

bandana for a tree and the burger bun get headphones while the bird has a swim.

[–]jetaimemina 39 points40 points ago

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This probably needs spoiler tags, sounds like a walkthrough for some 90s adventure game.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]iagainsti 2 points3 points ago

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She also gets the doo-rag, dustbuster, half a coconut, and metal fencing!

[–]dszordan 6 points7 points ago

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I get that they based their characters on nature and what they saw around them, but why wouldn't they make the characters a bit simpler. I can just imagine the engraver who saw that he had to draw 15 vultures and just cursing to himself.

[–]ofNoImportance 417 points418 points ago

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Don't forget the one about diamond rings being an idea of the diamond industry.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 959 points960 points ago

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It wouldn't be a day on reddit without someone reminding us of it

[–]Askura 401 points402 points ago

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Thank you, Lawyer. You may return to space, your work here is done.

[–]Abysmal_Advice 111 points112 points ago

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Consider this pro-bono work.

[–]DELTATKG 68 points69 points ago

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That was actually pretty good advice.

[–]DoWhile 28 points29 points ago

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If he was a lawyer worth his salt, he would have prefaced it immediately with some disclaimer saying this is not legal advice and that this posted comment does not constitute a lawyer/client relationship.

[–]ullrsdream 39 points40 points ago

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He's from space and they've already done away with frivolous lawsuits there. No need for disclaimers in the rest of the Local Group.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 25 points26 points ago

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The above comment should not be considered legal advice.

[–]OccasionalPopCulture 27 points28 points ago

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HE CAN'T LEAVE!! HOW ARE WE GOING TO LAWYER UP?!?!

[–]Exavion 58 points59 points ago

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Better call Saul.

[–]land_shark 2 points3 points ago

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S'all good, man.

[–]TPDC130 18 points19 points ago

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You may be a lawyer of space, but I will go toe to toe with you on bird law any day.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 53 points54 points ago*

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you have made a huge mistake. My username is SPACE_LAWYER but I am actually an investigator for the USFWS. The Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918 is my bread and butter.

edit: I don't get paid to spell correctly, I get paid to troll Ebay looking for eagle feathers

[–]annoyinglyclever 9 points10 points ago

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BIRD LAW!

[–]NickTheNewbie 52 points53 points ago

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That and them reminding us how circumcision is genital mutilation.

[–]Detached09 40 points41 points ago

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But you'll never feel whole if you aren't exactly the same as I am, and you're damaged even if you don't feel any negative repercussions in any way from the action.

[–]TooMuchBroccoli 32 points33 points ago

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Don't forget the one about diamond rings being an idea of the diamond industry.

Glad it wasn't the plutonium industry.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MunchToast 77 points78 points ago

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Engagement rings ))<>(( Wedding rings

Forever.

[–]nnyx 2 points3 points ago

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With the same poop.

[–]smallfried 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah, sometimes you have smaller rings and sometimes bigger rings than other rings.

[–]AThousandTimesThis 18 points19 points ago

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What is this, 1980?

!==

[–]fps6 36 points37 points ago

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!=

ftfy

[–]ullrsdream 22 points23 points ago

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FTFY

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MereInterest 5 points6 points ago

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Javascript, not recommended.

[–]z3ntropy 2 points3 points ago

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glorious c++ master race

[–]attilad 2 points3 points ago

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He's using T-SQL

[–]wipppersnappper 4 points5 points ago

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"a circular instrument placed upon the noses of hogs and the fingers of women to restrain them and bring them into subjection." - Samuel Johnson c.1755

[–]LeutDan 27 points28 points ago

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Thanks Sheldon

[–]Wolfosaurus 22 points23 points ago

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Not Sheldon, it's Fact-o-Tron-9000...

[–]nickkwasmusic 6 points7 points ago

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What's the difference?

[–]GAFMisat0 60 points61 points ago

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Fact-o-Tron-9000 has feelings.

[–]TooMuchBroccoli 2 points3 points ago

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What is this salty discharge????

[–]lightspeed23 250 points251 points ago

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Niiice.

I propose it should be more like a groove on a record which can then be played back by a diamond set in the others ring (I think they did something similar on the voyager plaque). THAT would be really cool.

[–]JavaLSU 24 points25 points ago

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The sound quality would be horrible and quickly distorted with regular wear and tear.

[–]Pinyaka 107 points108 points ago

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Just like their enthusiasm for being married.

[–]LongUsername 5 points6 points ago

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Depends on what metal they used to inscribe it. Gold? Yeah, pretty soft.

Stainless, Titanium, or Tungsten Carbide? Probably last a fairly long time.

That said, using the diamond as the needle would likely wear anything down quickly.

[–]stanhhh 71 points72 points ago

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I had the same idea.

Seems like we're the only two to like it.

Have this upvote you brilliant you.

[–]cloughie 59 points60 points ago

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And the fact that it's already been done :)

http://www.lukejerram.com/projects/talking_ring

[–]mathwizard420 27 points28 points ago

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This is terrifying o_o

[–]PhonyUsername 6 points7 points ago

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That image-projecting ring is neat.

[–]Ciserus 2 points3 points ago

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"Now, Sheila, whenever you want to be reminded of how much I love you, you can hear it wailed by your ring from this anguish-box."

[–]jshufro 108 points109 points ago

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NOW KISS

[–]GeneralWarts 30 points31 points ago

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NOW PROPOSE

[–]JoeProton 22 points23 points ago

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NOW SEX

[–]Sternenfuchs 84 points85 points ago

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LF: 24 custom made bands with waveform of "We do" to hand out at the next stonecutters meeting

[–]LibRAWRian 24 points25 points ago

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Who made Steve Guttenberg a star?

[–]itsdeuce 17 points18 points ago

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Who holds back the electric car?

[–]brianisbored 17 points18 points ago

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who robs cave fish of their sight? who rigs every oscar night?

[–]ab5trak 13 points14 points ago

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We do! We do!

[–]TG_Alibi 222 points223 points ago

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Reddit: where you are constantly reminded you are less creative than others.

[–]emtcj 30 points31 points ago

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Ugh, isn't that the truth.

[–]Krast0r 31 points32 points ago

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Couldn't have said it better myself!

[–]magicfingahs 19 points20 points ago*

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http://www.reddit.com/user/then_just_upvote_it

EDIT: Joke recognition fail. I guess I'll go down with the ship.

[–]orange_jooze 12 points13 points ago

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Woosh.

[–]Ecumenical_Matter 9 points10 points ago

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You're missing the subtle humour.

[–]Datsoon 8 points9 points ago

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It was a joke. He couldn't say it better because he wasn't as creative as TG_Alibi

[–]stanhhh 13 points14 points ago

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I thing having the audio actually engraved on the ring like for a vinyl would be even cooler. But this is nice too.

[–]bozobucketeer 266 points267 points ago*

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It doesn't look like the husband's voice wasn't quite as enthusiastic.

Edit: Thanks for the fix, sometimes I make typos when I type with my penis.

[–]Foxsbiscuits 400 points401 points ago

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doesn't wasn't? ಠ_ಠ

[–]juggernaut911 157 points158 points ago

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WASN'T DOESN'T!

[–]Dadonka 110 points111 points ago

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Fuzzy Wuzzy!

[–]Oprah_Pwnfrey 47 points48 points ago

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzys ass was bare.

[–]Dadonka 40 points41 points ago

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Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't Fuzzy, was he?

[–]speedycat 35 points36 points ago

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Nope, just his ass

[–]trollofzog 7 points8 points ago

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Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Woman?!

[–]IIdsandsII 11 points12 points ago

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in other words, he was enthusiastic.

[–]calspach 40 points41 points ago

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I'm assuming its the husbands voice on the wifes ring, and vice versa. Or at least that's what I would have done.

[–]ReallyLongLake 26 points27 points ago

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That was my thought as well. You carry around your SO's voice print.

[–]cijdl584 41 points42 points ago

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hes like, "IIIII do".

[–]big_gordo 31 points32 points ago*

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I figured the smaller one was the girl's because her voice probably is quieter and not as low.

Edit: Smaller wavelength, not ring size

[–]DELTATKG 4 points5 points ago

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The white one is most likely the guy's, as the ring is bigger, and men (tend to) have bigger fingers.

[–]big_gordo 26 points27 points ago

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Right, but wouldn't it make more sense for his ring to have his wife's "I do" and hers to have his "I do"?

[–]DELTATKG 7 points8 points ago

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I hadn't thought about it that way - so they always have their spouse's words of commitment with them.

[–]big_gordo 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah, that's what I suspect. Makes the whole thing kind of nice really. I like this idea.

[–]adjective-noun 2 points3 points ago

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I read that as "I'lll do"

[–]TMHIRL 8 points9 points ago

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Mmmmmm. That's a tasty double negative.

[–]HarryLillis 2 points3 points ago

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You know, in the nineteenth century double negatives were used for emphasis rather than negation. So, read that way it just sounds like he's Foghorn Leghorn.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points ago*

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The sexes of the married couple isn't specified ! Maybe there is no husband ! Maybe there is two husbands ! Maybe...uh... no, there is not a fourth option...

[–]grandom 19 points20 points ago

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Maybe it was the mythical man - toaster wedding the anti gay wedding crowd warned us about.

[–]orange_jooze 2 points3 points ago

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Frakin' toasters.

[–]Madmusk 13 points14 points ago

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I would secretly have the wave form of me saying "my preciousssss" cut into it.

[–]aselbst 2 points3 points ago

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I'm not sure they could do this. "S"'s are very high frequency, so if you say it too long, there wouldn't be much wedding band left to wear.

[–]dclaysmith 10 points11 points ago

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Looks like "vacuum".

[–]WeylanYutani 33 points34 points ago

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---II||||II--- "Divorce"

[–]blemersons 11 points12 points ago

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"'I break with thee, I break with thee' and then you throwa doga poopy on hur shoes"

[–]clubdepizza 9 points10 points ago

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It could also be "bubble"

[–]gif_only_mode 30 points31 points ago

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[–]clubdepizza 18 points19 points ago

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[–]gif_only_mode 22 points23 points ago

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[–]clubdepizza 11 points12 points ago

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[–]gif_only_mode 10 points11 points ago

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[–]synthaxx 6 points7 points ago

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This exchange: Great man, great man, great man, asshat.

[–]clubdepizza 12 points13 points ago

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[–]huracan 17 points18 points ago

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This post made me very sad, my wife is mute.

[–]VapidStatementsAhead 2 points3 points ago

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So you'd just have a normal ring, then.

[–]dziban303 2 points3 points ago

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So mute people can't make any sound at all? Not even a croak? Sounds coarse but I'm genuinely curious (but not curious enough to do any research, you understand)

[–]pelloco415 8 points9 points ago

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As a recording engineer, I approve of this.

[–]shokker 6 points7 points ago

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Reminds me of Steve Blum's tattoo. He did the voice for Spike Spiegel on Cowboy Bebop (along with like a million other voice roles) and after the show was over he got the waveform of him saying "Bang." tattooed on his arm.

http://twitpic.com/1xd335

[–]attomsk 44 points45 points ago

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gimmicky

[–]spyd4r 5 points6 points ago

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looks a little thin on the edge of the gold ring

[–]chadius333 5 points6 points ago

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I DO.

I do.

[–]ctl8 10 points11 points ago

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They should have made it be able to play back, but very creative idea!

[–]smallfried 6 points7 points ago

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Storing the peaks of a waveform in such a small resolution does seem to be quite unusable.

I'd suggest either grooves like a record or a spectrogram with depth as intensity.

[–]ishmal 12 points13 points ago

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I don't suppose that it could be played back, like some people hope to do with prehistoric clay pots.

[–]Deto 29 points30 points ago

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It could if it was detailed enough. This, however, only looks like the outline or "envelope" of a waveform and so it's missing most of the information.

[–]cresteh 11 points12 points ago

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The waveform really is just the outline of the amplitude of the wave, not actually including any wave information.

[–]Lillipout 12 points13 points ago

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This is a myth. You cannot play a clay pot like a record.

[–]tk338 3 points4 points ago

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Either you have your vows near metal cutting equipment or there's a helluva wait between the vows and ring presenting!

[–]BusinessClassPanda 3 points4 points ago

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As someone who is recently married and just getting used to having a ring on all the time, I would imagine that the cut out would get very annoying very soon.

[–]Dresdain 2 points3 points ago

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Jeweler here, these bands are ugly. Just saying.

[–]Knullgubbe 22 points23 points ago

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I would have my fart instead

[–]InvertLogic 6 points7 points ago

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Cue people noticing that any random noise will produce the same or similar waveform. FFT next time around.

[–]Gerbergler 4 points5 points ago*

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As someone seeing waveforms all day, I wonder if this is how Asians must feel when they see characters from their alphabet tatooed on people's bodies... when something mundane is Keanu'd into a woah.

[–]RoachOnATree0116 4 points5 points ago

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Upvote for the noun-verb

[–]Cptn_Janeway 12 points13 points ago

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Hmmm, I think its a great idea and very creative, but not for me.

[–]fireball_73 2 points3 points ago

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Great idea!

[–]pcnerd37 2 points3 points ago

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That is a really cool idea!

[–]Newdles 2 points3 points ago

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This is pretty neat...but I don't like the different colors.

[–]Iceman_B 2 points3 points ago

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The real question is: which compression was used on the recorded audio?

[–]LongUsername 2 points3 points ago

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This is neat, but I think it would be even cooler to etch them into the profile so that they'd actually play on a special record player. I'm sure you could fit "I do" onto a ring, sort of like Edison used to use wax cylinders.

[–]W2M3C 2 points3 points ago

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LOL the hubby seems a bit less enthusiastic...

[–]TripleHexxx 2 points3 points ago*

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I've got a waveform tattoo of my daughter saying "I love you, daddy."

I'll link a pic when I get home.

EDIT: Here's the pic. This was 3 years ago. It's a little faded now.

[–]enkiavatar 2 points3 points ago

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It seems that would accumulate a lot of lint and body soil over time. Generally speaking, crevices accumulate particulate matter.

That, and it would snag on fabric, especially embroidery.

[–]tgunter 2 points3 points ago

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You know what actually would have been a lot cooler? If instead of an image of the waveform, the audio had been cut into a groove along the surface of the ring like a record, so it'd be possible to play back the audio with a specially made player. Better yet, make it so to get the entire message you need to line them up and play them back at the same time.

[–]moarscience 2 points3 points ago

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Will you be my Number One?

[–]thefloyd 4 points5 points ago

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You should x-post this to /r/linguistics or /r/slp, I bet they would nerd out about it.