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all 84 comments

[–]SuperMse 21 points22 points ago

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Back when I was a Christian, my super secret ultimate dream was to save Satan. I prayed for him every once in a while.

[–]WirelessZombie 10 points11 points ago

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says something about your character

[–]SuperMse 4 points5 points ago

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Mind you, this was when I was much younger and fully accepted the faith.

[–]writesomethingwitty 1 point2 points ago

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Same here!

[–]kira87 1 point2 points ago

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I did it in family prayer. Parents took away my xbox.

[–]kibblesncarbonite 0 points1 point ago

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I feel like I remember one of the youth groups I went to with my cousins prayed for satan some times. that was a decade ago though. still, twains got a good point.

[–]drewd 0 points1 point ago

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No way man, I did the same thing. One time I even cried because if you think about it, he is the one guy in the Biblical narrative who never had a fucking chance.

[–]TheParkwayDrive 0 points1 point ago

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Same here, when I was younger and still theist, I used to go " And bless everyone in the world, especially blah blah blah, and bless Satan that he might see...." something like that, every night.

[–]failcheck 46 points47 points ago

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"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?" - Mark Twain

Here's the full quote, in case anyone wants the rest of it.

[–]Ganjauser 1 point2 points ago

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Where is that quote from? Is that from his posthumous work?

[–]slycurgus 13 points14 points ago

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posthumous work

Uh, forgive me if I'm missing something here, but isn't that kinda not how work, well... works?

[–]HanWolo 5 points6 points ago

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Upvotes for not deserves actually downvotes; Mark Twain had a large amount of work published after his death. Notably his autobiography, google it for more specific details.

[–]slycurgus 2 points3 points ago

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Ah, thanks. I suspected that was it (and should, in fairness, have just assumed and googled and got on with my day) but I figured I'd ask and poke a little fun at the English language while I was at it.

[–]HanWolo 6 points7 points ago

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Sweet merciful god, I just read my sentence prior to the semicolon. What the fuck was I thinking...

[–]Orakar 3 points4 points ago

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"Upvotes for not deserves actually downvotes" still makes my eyes bleed. :P

[–]Grinyarg 1 point2 points ago

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Satan made you do it!

[–]32koala 0 points1 point ago

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Some books were published while he was alive (Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn), and some books were published after he died (his autobiography). Even though Mark Twain died a long time ago, Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn were not posthumous books, while his autobiography was.

[–]zechariahms 5 points6 points ago

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wait a second i did that when i was a christian...

[–]TheLastProphet 20 points21 points ago

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Hah, when I was extremely young (4 or 5), I horrified my grandparents by saying I wanted to be Satan's friend. I thought that maybe the reason he was so "mean" was because he was lonely, and that if he had a friend to talk to and play with, he'd stop hurting people. Sadly, my grandparents did not take too kindly to my sentiments.

[–]ForgettableUsername 15 points16 points ago

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Ah, sympathy for the Devil.

[–]skekze 0 points1 point ago

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[–]clinically_cynical 0 points1 point ago

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Makes a lot more sense than the buybull.

[–]skekze 16 points17 points ago

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What is mankind but a fallen creature? We have more in common with the dark angel than a creator that allows only perfection. We are Lucifer, we are Legion. We are also that creature of perfection, yet doomed to remain splintered for all of Time.

[–]u8eR 13 points14 points ago

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Maybe we're just mentally advanced primates on a rather insignificant planet orbiting a very average star and there is no god or dark angels?

[–]skekze 0 points1 point ago

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I'd say so, but that would advance the idea that we're the most evolved, that this onion can be peeled down to it's most infinite layer by our skepticism and rationale. We're at best, a virus this planet has, like a cold, we will pass. What convinces me of greater than mankind, something beyond us, is the infinite complexity of the universe. It's like finding a painting on an easel in the middle of a field. I might not see the painter, but I know someone has been by and left behind something magnificent, beyond beauty and terror to behold. Doesn't mean I worship a skygod, just that I don't beg to guess, till the light leaves my eyes.

[–]Kowzorz 4 points5 points ago

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It's possible that God doesn't exist. The thing is, as you learn more about how this universe works, the definition of "possible" turns from "there's a chance" into "there's a way".

[–]skekze 2 points3 points ago

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I see that plants can commit chemical warfare. I see that fungi can make zombies of ants and make them into delicious berries that attract the very birds to continue the fungi's lifecycle.

It shows almost an intelligence, beyond the physical capabilities of the organism, a group think, something. An interconnectedness, the very energy that binds life together, call it God, Jehovah, Allah, Brigid, call it what you will. Mother Earth. A delicate dance that goes on at the atomic level to the stellar level.

We are all just pieces in a larger mosaic, the likes of which, make the artwork of the Sistine chapel look like the scribbles and scrawls of an outhouse by comparison.

All of man's creations shall fall to dust, yet still will the stars rage, giving birth to new worlds and new species to discover the story of mankind, long after we're gone.

[–]clinically_cynical 0 points1 point ago

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That's good enough for me, but I guess religions.

[–]UserNumber42 0 points1 point ago

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Actually our star isn't that large compared to the others.

[–]ForgettableUsername 5 points6 points ago

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What is a man, but a miserable pile of secrets?

[–]SteveMcFakename 0 points1 point ago

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Is this a quote? I googled it but nothing came up.

[–]skekze 1 point2 points ago

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No, I'm just a loon. Now, how do I get paid for being mad as a hatter?

[–]SteveMcFakename 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe if you put those words on a picture and posted it on /r/atheism you could get paid in karma dollars?

[–]skekze -1 points0 points ago

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I'm not an atheist, in fact, I love arguing with them. It's fun to watch their rational minds spins their wheels. I'm agnostic. Can't say for sure til I'm dead, and I'm not willing to go first. As I get older though, I've learned faith and religion are two very different things. Thanks for the compliment, I better figure out a way to make a buck at this writing thing or start selling off the spare organs. Anybody need a kidney? Barely been used...

[–]SteveMcFakename 0 points1 point ago

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That's not exactly what agnostic means. There's theist and atheist, meaning belief and non-belief. Then there's gnostic and agnostic, meaning you know for a fact or you don't know for a fact. I'm an agnostic atheist so I don't know for sure if there really is some deity, but there isn't enough evidence for me to believe. The other combinations are easy to figure out.

[–]skekze -1 points0 points ago

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I'd say I'm agnostic, but I can't say if there's a deity or not, I don't know. I'm starting to have faith in some structure to the universe, but I cannot say if there was an architect, only that I can see the skeleton of reality and it suggests a design. I think if something as such as a God exists, it's far beyond what this meatbag can imagine. I only see the footprints in the dust. They could be God's or Bigfoot's, I don't know.

[–]SteveMcFakename 0 points1 point ago

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I'm exactly the same, the point I'm making isn't wither or not you accept the possibility of a deity, but if you believe in any specific god or live your life according to a religion. If you were an agnostic theist you would be saying the same thing as you are now, just that you happen to believe in a higher power and are a christian. You just didn't know for sure if it was all true. If you believe in a deity you're a theist and if you don't believe you're an atheist, being agnostic just describes that belief.

[–]skekze 0 points1 point ago*

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Raised catholic, but left that madness long ago. I can't say I attend to one religion, as there are many stories of mankind's origin. Who's to say which one is correct?

I'd say I'm leaning towards theist, as I get older, but still somewhat on the fence. I'm of the opinion, God is within, if we're to look anywhere. I don't believe finite beings can define something infinite. It denies explanation.

Guess I'm an atheist then, yet I take that definition as usually denying the existence of a higher being. I'm still on the fence. I see one commonality, both atheists and theists both think they're right. I didn't know it was broken down the way you described. So, I guess some atheists admit doubt?

I just don't know, there's more than meets the eye, that's for sure, does that mean I think George Burns is awaiting us all in a white suit? Maybe, he does look a bit like a chimp, at that age. "Man was made in God's image." I think that line is a bit over interpreted. God could be a giant squid for all I know. Maybe they just meant from the Tree of Life, and not exactly this version of human we see before us.

I doubt it's some old dude in a suit though, if there be something after death, it's beyond mortal description. We must cross the veil to take a peek and it's a one way trip for most. I'll wait my turn to find out.

[–]sirbruce 2 points3 points ago

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I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections. I'm a fan of man. I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist." -- John Milton, aka Satan, The Devil's Advocate

[–]daddyblackboots 1 point2 points ago

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It's a shame that a man like this would never be heard in today's world. He would be driven down by the media and mocked by the majority of the people.

[–]Dekar173 1 point2 points ago

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old

[–]Ganthir 1 point2 points ago

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And I'm related to Mr.Twain, this makes me proud!

[–]MasterAndMargarita 1 point2 points ago

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I think Milton sort of did.

[–]vitalitron 0 points1 point ago

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This post gives me hope.

[–]aetius476 0 points1 point ago

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I've always wondered how the satan mythology, basically a "but for the grace of God go I" cautionary tale, got twisted into an all purpose scapegoat for evil.

[–]Fromps 0 points1 point ago

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If you want a good story to read from Twain, I recommend "Letters from the Earth"

[–]nombre44 5 points6 points ago

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"Letters from the Earth" combined with "Number 44, The Mysterious Stranger" essentially sums up his theology. Or, if you don't feel like going through hundreds of pages, this quote:

"I have long ago lost my belief in immortality--also, my interest in it."

EDIT: All right then, I'll go to hell.

[–]Fromps 0 points1 point ago

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I own both and I love them to death.

[–]futureisscrupulous 0 points1 point ago

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I remember doing that in 2nd grade. I took the whole "pray for everyone" thing to heart.

[–]JonnieGoodboyTyler 0 points1 point ago

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Well, when you think about it. Satan supposedly is the one who gave humanity free thought according to the bible. So wouldn't people like him more than God who tried to keep humanity in the dark for eternity? Perhaps God is the real evil one and Satan is the savior of humanity in reflection of the bible.

[–]babiesinthepot 1 point2 points ago

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Well in a show by Jim Jeffries, he says "well that's in the bible. That's god's book. As far as I know, the devil hasn't brought out a book. We don't know his side of the argument. Right, if you ask me god and the devil are having an argument and the devil's being the bigger f'ing man. God's just writing all of this shit about him ad the devils going "I'm not even going to comment on it, son, if youre going to keep talking about me like that"

[–]JonnieGoodboyTyler 0 points1 point ago

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That is how the bible seems to me now that I am an atheist. I mean. God killed millions and millions of people in the bible, and Satan killed like 10 or something like that. Lawl. He speaks of how evil and corrupting Satan is, yet he floods the planet, destroys civilizations just because he is Jealous. You can see how the bible was slapped together from so many different ideas and perspectives. It's quite ridiculous that anyone could follow a book like that.

[–]babiesinthepot 0 points1 point ago

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Translations, political agendas, different interpretations, and civil rights movements over the period of 1500 years - I'd be surprised if a single sentence was unchanged throughout the entire book's history of its different additions. I was never really a believer in the book - I've not read it enough to be honest. The verses I know are from song (to be honest, my ex-church's minister was a pretty cool guy and he taught me how to play the guitar). But even trying to believe a higher power existed was hard - the beauty of the universe and of life itself is much more awe-inducing in my opinion.

[–]TheLastProphet 0 points1 point ago

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And thus we have Milton.

[–]spook327 0 points1 point ago

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Maltheism is an interesting idea, and the concept came up at the end of the second Shin Megami Tensei title; if you didn't take the "lawful" path, you fought a creator god who spawned the world just to subjugate it. That being was called YHWH.

I am shocked that this never got an official U.S. release. /s

[–]R88SHUN 0 points1 point ago

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i thought that was pretty funny. god didnt.

[–]dtfont 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me, or does this Mr. Twain fella look kinda like that Einstein guy?

[–]TheLastProphet 1 point2 points ago

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Methinks he looks a tad like that Clemens fella.

[–]issafram 0 points1 point ago

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Saw the word "Good" in the title. It wasn't followed by "guy". Disappointed or happy, I'm not sure.

[–]slashgoddess 0 points1 point ago

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Budda, I guess?

[–]Lagardi 0 points1 point ago

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[–]What_Is_X 0 points1 point ago

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Cool repost bro.

[–]Hyperian 0 points1 point ago

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always reminds me of star trek

[–]wtfgretchen 0 points1 point ago

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[–]BuckyDuster 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome! I had never read that before. I also like another one of Mark Twain's quotes: "Opera is better than it sounds".

[–]UnknownArchive 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Who indeed 242coms 968pts 4mos pics
Who indeed 200coms 1266pts 4mos atheism
Twainianity 113coms 1107pts 1mo atheism

source: karmadecay

[–]drakeblood4 0 points1 point ago

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Man Satan and demons really get fucked the worst of anyone in Christian mythology. All Satan ever did was try and 1up someone he was jealous of, and all the demons on his side did was take a gamble on the losing side in a war. And what price do they pay? Eternal separation from God. I mean even if you believe in predestination at least humans get the opportunity to have to do things to make up for the evil they had to do in the first place.

[–]ProbabilityOfFurries 0 points1 point ago

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Why would I pray to a fictional character about a fictional character.

[–]lordgloom 0 points1 point ago

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Actually one of the considerations that led me to reject Christianity.

[–]PasmaKranu 0 points1 point ago

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Twain has probably provided me with the most insightful points of views ever just from all of these (motivational?) pictures. I should really look into his other stuff.

[–]AustinJG 0 points1 point ago

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Actually, I did.

Back when I was a Christian, it's kind of a long story. Happened when I began my venture into atheism.

[–]rachawakka 0 points1 point ago

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As a kid, I always felt sorry for satan, and wondered why it would be wrong to care about him or try to help him. It was just a given that there's nothing anyone can do for him, and God doesn't want anyone to help him. I think it was one of the first things in life that showed me that christianity wasn't right for me.

[–]shucklak 0 points1 point ago

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Blasphemy level: Twain.

[–]terabytetron 0 points1 point ago

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satan is condemn brooo......xp (he/she/it went to the point of no return) x(

[–]HellboundAlleee 0 points1 point ago

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Satan's Salvation

A comic by my pal Normal Bob Smith!

[–]Digimonisbetter 0 points1 point ago

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Just because Twain didn't do that doesn't mean no one did. I prayed for Satan every night for a few years as a child and I'm sure many others here did as well.

[–]Sdingel 0 points1 point ago

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This isn't his best quote. Lots of people have prayed for Satan, then see stuff like this and are under a false impression they are better

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

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That's exactly why it works so well. If you don't understand irony, too bad, you missed the boat, you don't understand Mark Twain. Clemens wasn't setting out to preach atheism to the world... he probably wouldn't even have classed himself as an atheist except, maybe, at some dark point in the last few years of his life.

[–]Sdingel 0 points1 point ago

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Oh please. He was pretty damn out spoken about everything, this was certainly no exception.

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't say he wasn't outspoken. I said he didn't publicly identify as an atheist. There is also very little evidence that he was one in private for most of his life. Wikipedia has a good summary of his views on religion.

[–]Sdingel 0 points1 point ago

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yes, he didn't publicly identify as an atheist, that's true. He certainly wasn't a christian, may have been a deist. I didn't say I hated the quote, I just said it wasnt his best.

[–]Pimpinpinguino -2 points-1 points ago

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I could have sworn that was Einstein

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know about the quote, but the picture is clearly of Ambrose Bierce.