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top 200 commentsshow all 332

[–]xNotch 511 points512 points ago

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I am not sure how to feel.

[–]I_Fapped_Anyway 238 points239 points ago

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I am.

[–]xNotch 186 points187 points ago

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Friggin sweet, groupies!!

[–]Parkmayn 38 points39 points ago

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I was looking for Notch's comment, but I realized he dosen't have flair in subreddirts that aren't r/minecraft.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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subreddirts

intentional?

[–]Parkmayn 4 points5 points ago

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Accident... the universe just wants me to make puns now.

[–]sprankton 1 point2 points ago

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The hivemind is affecting you on an unconscious level. If you suffer from somnambulism, lock up your bacon and cats.

[–]PossiblyTheDoctor 1 point2 points ago

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subredderps?

[–]Duffman3005 6 points7 points ago

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Not at least you added him as a friend....

[–]yodamaster103 1 point2 points ago

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Just use RES

[–]kraeftig 14 points15 points ago

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So I have an idea for an extension/addon/mod/whatever...du duh duh duhhhhhhh: hats.

[–]Ladystiffy 2 points3 points ago

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[–]uepvup 2 points3 points ago

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brazzers

[–]NMcAdams -1 points0 points ago

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Alright, this is my only shot...uhm....fuck. Hi.

[–]monom90[S] 30 points31 points ago

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Feel flattered.

[–]smifft 10 points11 points ago

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Matt?

[–]monom90[S] 21 points22 points ago

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Huh?

[–]ConstipatedNinja 12 points13 points ago

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You never let me film you during recreational events at your abode! :(

[–]townie_immigrant 20 points21 points ago

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You were the first person I thought of when I saw this.

[–]KevinAlan 14 points15 points ago

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came here to look for a notch mention, instead saw Notch. Day Is made!

[–]_ady 11 points12 points ago

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Just to make sure, this isn't ACTUALLY you, is it?

[–]xNotch 150 points151 points ago

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No, it's photoshopped. Here's the original: http://i.imgur.com/Qs6nw.gif

[–]reimburst 21 points22 points ago

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It's so beautiful. And how did you keep your composure while sliding!?

[–]Fenor 4 points5 points ago

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he used a water block. it's easy

[–]xaronax 8 points9 points ago

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I have a giant slip-n-slide at my house. Next time you come to America you should come visit. I'll grill, you bring beer.

[–]SexDrugsRock 3 points4 points ago

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And lube.

[–]xaronax 3 points4 points ago

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I never mentioned running water. Yeeee-hawww. (You got a purty mouth.)

[–]PossiblyTheDoctor 2 points3 points ago

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Notch, you sexy beast.

[–]Svelemoe 1 point2 points ago

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Have my babies, please. And my upvotes.

[–]UpvoteToUpvoters 1 point2 points ago

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You can have my upvote.

[–]mainsworth 6 points7 points ago

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Should I play the video game you made? This is your only shot to get me on board.

[–]xNotch 49 points50 points ago

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nah

[–]mainsworth 18 points19 points ago

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fair enough.

[–]xali 10 points11 points ago

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I like this answer. If he was only going to play minecraft because Notch thought it was a good game, its obvious he's put some thought into "Will I like minecraft?" And came out with a resounding "meh."

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the maker keeping one less person -not- unhappy with the game, and the games community resoundingly as enthusiastic as ever.

I'm probably over-analyzing a simple knee jerk joke.

[–]cfern 9 points10 points ago

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Shut the fuck up

[–]Juz16 1 point2 points ago

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Well since you're here...

Are you a brony?

[–]sprankton 1 point2 points ago

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Do you have reason to believe this, or are you just asking everybody?

[–]Juz16 1 point2 points ago*

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Well I have this.

But then this happened.

And he said he would watch a few episodes of MLP if we (bronies) out donated him for the humble indie bundle.

We (bronies) did out donate him so he said he would.

I can't find the link but I saw it before. So this is the closest thing I have.

And that was the last I heard of brony notch.

[–]Goddamn_Wouter 581 points582 points ago

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Meanwhile at Mojang.

[–]philcannotdance 111 points112 points ago

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I wonder where his hat's gone off too.

[–]zopiac 342 points343 points ago

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[–]laetus 135 points136 points ago

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Just mining my own business.

[–]TheAughtSpectrum 48 points49 points ago

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Ooh! That was crafty of you.

[–]Grimleawesome 44 points45 points ago

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One more pun and I will block you from reddit!

[–]goal2004 30 points31 points ago

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But there's still so many puns to pick from!

[–]pimpybra 27 points28 points ago

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These threads really have dug themselves to a new low.

[–]Antarmy1 13 points14 points ago

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I think I need to axe you to to stop. I wood, I really wood!

[–]cg2916 5 points6 points ago

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I think we should sssssstop.

[–]GenosRussia 7 points8 points ago

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nethermind then

[–]shamecamel 32 points33 points ago

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I dare the mods of /r/minecraft to make this the header picture. I DARE THEM.

[–]soccerdude7 6 points7 points ago

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But do you double dog dare them?

[–]Xphex 11 points12 points ago

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no, jesus, no you sick fuck

[–]StuBenedict 17 points18 points ago

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[–]topheavy_burnsides 11 points12 points ago

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Nice. Could I get a hat wobble? And a Flarhgunnstow?

[–]mjtlag 6 points7 points ago

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Now TAYNE I can get into!

[–]unicorntitties246 2 points3 points ago

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mjtlag your wife called; she said it was an emergency

[–]philcannotdance 5 points6 points ago

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high fives

[–]Tenstone 1 point2 points ago

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Came to the comments just to find this.

[–]vrta 1 point2 points ago

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Post that shit to /r/minecraft !

[–]zopiac 1 point2 points ago

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[–]vetro 49 points50 points ago

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I'm sure every gamer came here to make this comment.

[–]The-Dudemeister 7 points8 points ago

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I don't get it.

[–]GalacticNexus 18 points19 points ago

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He looks like Notch of Mojang.

[–]Juz16 5 points6 points ago

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It isn't him?

It looked just like him.

[–]GalacticNexus 5 points6 points ago

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Yes, that is what I said.

Though I see where you could have misunderstood.

[–]callmejelly 13 points14 points ago

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This is how he seduces EZ

[–]Firerange 11 points12 points ago

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Someone beat me to it =(

[–]Zantier 2 points3 points ago

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god dammit... word for word

[–]AISim 7 points8 points ago

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I was just going to say, "Notch?"

[–]BiologicalTragedy 99 points100 points ago

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They see me slidin', they hatin'..

[–]insert_pun_here 47 points48 points ago

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Patrolling they tryin to catch me slidin' dirty..

[–]espnman321 41 points42 points ago

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Tryin' to catch me slidin' dirty,
Tryin' to catch me slidin' dirty,
I'm slippin,
They soapin'
That they gunna catch me slidin' dirty.

[–]kwehkweh 39 points40 points ago

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Police think they can see me slide

I'm lubed up it ain't easy to stop my glide

When you see my slide by you can see my backside

And my slide so fresh it's like I'm bathed in Tide

[–]Devilheart 21 points22 points ago

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Coz baby, I got nuthin' to hide

Imma carry my swag far and wide

It ain't easy with 'em haters tryna bring me down

But I'm slippy slidin' all over this Town.

[–]MrDiller 73 points74 points ago

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Draw me like one of your fre-

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Freedom girls?

[–]iPhown 10 points11 points ago

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And the award for most obvious comment goes to...

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Someone should x-post this to r/ladyboners. Cause dayyuuuum!

[–]gcq 24 points25 points ago

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Notch?

[–]pocket77s 16 points17 points ago

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Reminds me of this guy

[–]Diels_Alder 10 points11 points ago

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You're truly a connoisseur of overweight men wearing very little clothing.

[–]MustStopMasturbating 43 points44 points ago

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Oh this brings back memories. My last experience with a slip-n-slide was awful. It was a dry day in New Mexico and friends and I hosted a pool party in the backyard. Inground pool, sprinklers, slip-n-slides, playing metal and stoner rock on the stereo, food and drink, the whole shebang. It was great, mostly because the male:female ration was 1:1.5 or something around that. Which was a vast improvement the last 3 or so times we did this.

Anyway, who doesn't like trying the fucking slip-n-slide? And it's a big slip-n-slde too, 75 feet long. It's fucking awesome and I enjoy doing all sorts of somersault type of shit as I slide all the way down. But during that time, it didn't go so accordingly.

I don't know who the idiot was who placed the mat, because that ruined that part of the day for me. I was the first to do the slide and went all the way to the end, I was sliding down ass-first and I hit the grass. Actually it was mostly sand. Not just any type of sand. It's the sand fire ants use to make their mounds. And a ton of that stuff went right into my trunks.

I didn't even notice until all of a sudden I felt a thousand hot needles poking through my asshole. The fucking pain.... I quickly ran into the house, while more ants were stinging all around my thighs, grabbed the can of bug killer and dosed them up my trousers. They died instantly.

The thing about fire ants is that even when they are dead, they are still stinging you. And the chemicals from the bug spray didn't help at all. So I went to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and wiped away all the ant carcasses and chemical residue (there were about 150 ants on me). Then I trotted back the the pool, went in the hottub and pretended nothing had happened. Chatted up with some of the ladies.

And life went on.

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 17 points18 points ago

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TL;DR Ring of fire.

[–]nurta 3 points4 points ago

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I went down, down down

[–]JHStarner 5 points6 points ago

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Ouch! My little brother got a fire ant sting on a testicle when we were younger. Swole up to the size of on orange, and after seeing a doctor was told to stay off his feet for a week, otherwise he could lose it. I can only imagine what the next few weeks were like for you.

[–]SensibleMadness 1 point2 points ago

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If you kept an eye out for fire ant mounds and surrounded them with amdro at the first sign, you wouldn't have these problems. Living in a fire-ant-prone area requires constant vigilance to keep those little fuckers from moving in and getting comfortable.

[–]InvalidWhistle 0 points1 point ago

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Nobody is reading that shit^

[–]xaronax 16 points17 points ago

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TL;DR, He was gangbanged in the ass by a bunch of dudes from a gang with red colors, committed genocide with poison gas like a Nazi, contracted a persistent venereal disease, and proceeded to make a giant bowl of soup using himself and some females as the main ingredients.

[–]hchan1 5 points6 points ago

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Well, okay, maybe I'll read just a little bit...

[–]The_Weirdest_Boner 19 points20 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ         

.  .        

  /

[–]Juz16 1 point2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]dsesin 12 points13 points ago

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Notch should add this to the load screen of Minecraft

[–]Deestan 9 points10 points ago

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Or the end credits screen.

[–]Juz16 13 points14 points ago

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Or just replace the whole damn game with this.

[–]Tremulant89 6 points7 points ago

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Someone needs to shop the sunglasses with "Deal with it".

[–]Solkre 4 points5 points ago

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Whatcha thinking about?

Nothin', slippery stuff.

[–]longhornmd 4 points5 points ago

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This needs to be in the sexiest gif post thread

[–]tells_shitty_stories 6 points7 points ago

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this reminds me of my half-uncle lippy, you probably think that's his first name but it's his middle name. he showed my dad a bunch of videos of himself doing this same thing a few years back, this is my dad's wife's (my mom's) half-brother by marriage.

[–]quest78 4 points5 points ago

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Haters gonna hate.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Blue_Herring 4 points5 points ago

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this is a good preview for the hangover 3.

[–]pyr4m1d 4 points5 points ago*

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[–]ghostofanimus 3 points4 points ago

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damn sexy that dude!

[–]replieswithclowns 4 points5 points ago

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[–]HoboTactics 3 points4 points ago

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Shay carl?

[–]maku450 10 points11 points ago

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Heyyyyy

[–]dr_wang 19 points20 points ago

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what does a gay horse eat?

[–]glogloglo 68 points69 points ago

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Thank you for your captivating inquiry. Upon my research, I have found the following information for you, in response to your question.

  • Apples and carrots - they are relished by most horses
  • Barley - this should be boiled or soaked for at least two hours before feeding as it swells when wet, which prevents it swelling in the horses stomach which can cause problems. It can be fed dry if rolled and crushed first, and is good for older horses
  • Bran - is easily digested
  • Chaff - adds bulk to food and prevents the horse from bolting down its good too quickly
  • Cod Liver Oil - is a useful supplement to help build up resistance to disease
  • Eggs - these are a good source of protein and one or two fed daily can be useful to a hard-working horse
  • Horse nuts or mixes - these are specially prepared foods, comprising many of the basic feeds, there are different types designed to meet the nutritional needs of various horses with different exercising routines
  • Linseed - is high in protein and only a handful should be fed with a feed. It is poisonous raw so MUST be cooked first
  • Maize - this should be flaked and cooked to make it easier to digest
  • Molichaff or Mollichop - is a mixture of chaff and molasses, used to add bulk to the food and the molasses makes it more appetising
  • Oats - they are easily digested if fed crushed, rolled or cooked. They are a high energy food and excessive feeding of oats can cause exuberance in some horses
  • Root vegetables - such as beetroot, carrots, parsnips, swedes and turnips can be fed but in small quantities. They should be cut into strips, rather than round pieces as they can become lodged in the throat. Shredded vegetables are also avoided by worms.
  • Salt - fed in small quantities in the feed helps to aid digestion
  • Seaweed - is good for young horses Other foods: alfalfa, oat hay, barley, maize, dried sugar beet pulp.

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_do_horses_eat#ixzz1ky5FRd2H

[–]goose90proof 23 points24 points ago

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fucking melvins

[–]nemeralin 6 points7 points ago

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Horses also drink beer, mountain dew, sweet tea, etc. They also eat ice cream, pizza, chicken nuggets, cotton candy, cell phones, purses, hamburgers, peppermints, french fries, skittles, cole slaw, biscuits, fingers, little kids, watermelon, pumpkins, pork n beans, birthday cakes, cupcakes, twinkies, pears, peaches, plums, cucumbers, squash, hunny buns, hot dogs, little yappy dogs, make pancakes out of big yappy dogs, snicker bars, etc.

[–]MadMageMC 5 points6 points ago

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And they taste just like raisins, if my memory serves.

[–]nemeralin 1 point2 points ago

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And they make lemon aide. Tasty.

[–]Wu_Tang_Clan 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck. Now I'm hungry and I'm not even a horse. At least not from the waist up.

[–]johnlukepicard 1 point2 points ago

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lost it at little kids

[–]TallinPro 7 points8 points ago

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You might think because of the beard I'm hairy... nope shaved.

[–]donvito7335 1 point2 points ago

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now get back here and bang my wife!!

[–]CorruptedRay 2 points3 points ago

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"Ladies...."

[–]aplestormy 2 points3 points ago

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Notch's fame has gone to his head...

[–]stenskott 2 points3 points ago

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Is that Tim Harrington?

[–]farewelltransmission 1 point2 points ago

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I was wondering the same thing! Sure looks like him.

[–]subzer0fun 1 point2 points ago

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I really hope so.

[–]MrAsianese 2 points3 points ago

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Damn Notch, y u so sexy?

[–]IdesOfMarchus 1 point2 points ago

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Oh hey, didn't see you there.

[–]deaft 1 point2 points ago

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How you doin'

[–]PsychoWolf 1 point2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

Is that a blow-up doll in the background (on the right) or a dog?

[–]SourCreamWater 1 point2 points ago

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This made me belly laugh really hard. Thanks for posting OP.

[–]Wappidoo 1 point2 points ago

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Give Gimli his clothes back!

[–]shadowfax562 1 point2 points ago

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The grass is going to be ruined.

[–]ghostofanimus 5 points6 points ago

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rueeeeeeenndd!

[–]jwdrummer21 1 point2 points ago

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full video please!

[–]SavageNoble 1 point2 points ago

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wass6p

[–]Bayonetta 1 point2 points ago

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this is is completely ready for fap actions

[–]Outlaw_Heart 1 point2 points ago

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Wait....uncle Steve?!?

[–]perspicuus 1 point2 points ago

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Haters gonna hate... =)

[–]DrJohnston 1 point2 points ago

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[–]RiceBoy2015 1 point2 points ago

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what a playa', haters gonna hate on that

[–]vgarrett 1 point2 points ago

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Having such a shitty day until this minute! Thank you monom90!

[–]sporkafunk 1 point2 points ago

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Goddamnit. Tried to send this to one coworker, ended up sending it to another. Now he knows what I do all day.

[–]ctm617 1 point2 points ago

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reminds me of Leisure Diving

[–]m3fawner 1 point2 points ago

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Stop sliding! I want to paint you like one of those French girls!

[–]ullrsdream 1 point2 points ago

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Is this going to become a thing like planking?
If so, I propose the name "Leisure sliding" for it. It's like leisure diving but obviously on a slip-n-slide. I preemptively approve of this becoming a thing.

[–]zhilla 1 point2 points ago

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And than, a happy dance.

[–]easy_being_green 1 point2 points ago

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In class. Trying not to laugh.

[–]masterhikari 1 point2 points ago

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I don't see where everyone's getting these pictures of my dad.

[–]hogie555 1 point2 points ago

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This guy is a BAMF

[–]mindifoore 1 point2 points ago

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♪♫I'm sexy and I know it♫♪

[–]sh41reddit 1 point2 points ago

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Can't wait for the repost in a few weeks' time.

[–]pedobear_run_kids 1 point2 points ago

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My boss walked in while I was watching this. So worth getting written up.

[–]FairlyInconsistentRa 1 point2 points ago

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NOTCH!

[–]corpmonster1 1 point2 points ago

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Score of 99.8 -remarks "nice form."

[–]splatterk 1 point2 points ago

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Notch!?!

[–]tenkin 1 point2 points ago

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So this is what Notch is doing on his time off?

[–]SirSandGoblin 1 point2 points ago

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Les Savy Fav!

[–]Valintiin 1 point2 points ago

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Is that Zach Galifianakis?

[–]moose_man 1 point2 points ago

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The llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllladies is palpable

[–]epsalmond 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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someone please put Nigel Thronberry's face on him.

[–]IngsocDoublethink 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking swagger.

[–]raymond8505 1 point2 points ago

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[–]fervent_turtle 1 point2 points ago

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Notch!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Best.Gif.Ever.

[–]HlaOad 1 point2 points ago

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Go back to making Minecraft.

[–]TheFaithie 0 points1 point ago

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I keep imagining this.

[–]BladeMN 0 points1 point ago

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pure awesomeness

[–]daltalathedestroyer 0 points1 point ago

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Give em the good ole how u doin, good enough for a poke right

[–]AwkwardSalmon 0 points1 point ago

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He is going to regret hitting the grass at the end.

[–]PonchoTheBear 0 points1 point ago

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Some would say he was smooth

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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"How you doin'?"

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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We once made a slip and slide out like this but it wasn't slippery enough so we added soap.

[–]PeacockDoom 0 points1 point ago

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I want you to

draw me like

your french girls

[–]CaptainChronocide 0 points1 point ago

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Completely enchanting...

[–]Daveyd325 0 points1 point ago

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"Cool Story Bro"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Real men use a tarp for their slip n slide.

[–]downr0deo 0 points1 point ago

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I was appointed hand of the king so he could do THIS?

[–]Der_Nailer 0 points1 point ago

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more like "soap"...

[–]interputed 0 points1 point ago

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Reminded me of Bitch I'm Fabulous

[–]TomHUK 0 points1 point ago

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Go Santa!

[–]a34tjkx 0 points1 point ago

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[–]bwaters777 0 points1 point ago

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can someone link me to a higher res mp4 or wmv of this ?<3

[–]zac987 0 points1 point ago

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Carl from Aqua Teen with a beard.

[–]WaterlooWarrior 0 points1 point ago

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No worries just the pussy destroyer coming through !

[–]ignoramus_at_work 0 points1 point ago

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What a fucking baller

[–]rav42000 0 points1 point ago

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Weeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]cubicle_jockey 0 points1 point ago

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"slip & slide here often?"

[–]urballs2wall 0 points1 point ago

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I feel like a head nod was greatly needed somewhere in there... would've made it that much more awesome

[–]GenosRussia 0 points1 point ago

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i expected it to be some suave guy or somethin making a pose and then i see Notch slide across my screen. How did i wind up here again?

[–]InsertDiscSeven 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Notch?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like Notch of Minecraft fame.

[–]That_Dog_Wont_Hunt 0 points1 point ago

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[–]leedorham 0 points1 point ago

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Is he going around in a circle?

[–]anuses[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Ctrl+f: "Portland"

Disappointed.

[–]SayVandalay 0 points1 point ago

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The ladies are pleased.

[–]1gnominious 0 points1 point ago

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Ya know, this wouldn't be half as funny if he weren't fat and bald.

[–]Lab_Monkey 0 points1 point ago

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I had to watch that a few times...it looks EXACTLY like my ex that I just split with. Mother of gawd...what was I thinking? lol

[–]I_CAPE_RUNTS 0 points1 point ago

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whatcha thinkin bout?

[–]AsskickMcGee 0 points1 point ago

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Your blood glucose.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This needs to be a Haters Gonna Hate gif.

[–]Binsky 0 points1 point ago

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Lovely

[–]sforzhangdo 0 points1 point ago

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Dat ass

[–]skippy619 0 points1 point ago

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The tag for GIF Soup just feels right here.