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all 167 comments

[–]meatbowling 178 points179 points ago

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I'm actually disapointed that it wasn't a real panda. I don't know why I wanted to see that.

[–]efischerSC2 43 points44 points ago

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Yeah. I was expecting to see two pandas going at it. Or maybe a live panda and a man.

[–]meatbowling 47 points48 points ago

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Here you go.

[–]efischerSC2 35 points36 points ago

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That's not even a gif. I was looking for some hot panda on panda action.

...or even PPM.

[–]theroc1217 78 points79 points ago

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That is a .gif. That is the actual speed at which panda's copulate.

[–]reidhershl 23 points24 points ago

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which would explain their small numbers

[–]gngstrMNKY 10 points11 points ago

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Pandas only ovulate for one day a year and some are completely disinterested in sex, which combined with habitat distraction makes for endangered pandas.

[–]WhosThatGirl_ItsRach 8 points9 points ago

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This explains everything! My real father had to have been a Panda, for I am part Panda.

[–]MadeSenseAtTheTime 1 point2 points ago

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I thought it was Ranch for a sec there.

[–]ieatbees 2 points3 points ago

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Is your username a New Girl reference?

[–]beergoggles69 2 points3 points ago

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Excuse me, sir...

...But do you by any chance eat bees, sir?

[–]WhosThatGirl_ItsRach 1 point2 points ago

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It is! I was waiting for someone to say something about it.

[–]ieatbees 3 points4 points ago

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Welcome to reddit.

[–]giddyup523 5 points6 points ago

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Can I start getting fun facts like this about pandas sent to my phone?

[–]TrustyGuy 0 points1 point ago

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Just pretend this is pandafacts.com

[–]TheDankestMofo 2 points3 points ago

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It's not that they're disinterested in sex. When being forced to breed in captivity, male and female pandas aren't usually housed in the same areas or don't even know each other, which messes with their habits. Once pandas are introduced to each other's den and got through with smelling whatever there was to smell and all that other good stuff that pandas need to do beforehand, they got it on just fine.

That being said, pandas are the worst.

[–]tdltuck 3 points4 points ago

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Those pandas are dirty.

[–]AudioTekz 3 points4 points ago

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Sucias

[–]GlassSoldier 1 point2 points ago

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I...

Ill be in my bunk.

[–]COKeefe88 0 points1 point ago

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Inara and a panda? Now that I would pay to see.

[–]skuppy 105 points106 points ago

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[–]Richmard 44 points45 points ago

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Did I really just spend a chunk of my life browsing through panda taints?

[–]cfuse 13 points14 points ago

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Not as much time as somebody spent making it.

[–]give_me_love 38 points39 points ago

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[–]Vicker3000 3 points4 points ago

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I found those commercials to be incredibly disturbing. I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

[–]Alarconadame 0 points1 point ago

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I was thinking "this is funny..." and then the Panda stare with the soft music, that shit is disturbing.

[–]Setiri 1 point2 points ago

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Holy fuck these are hysterical. Needs more upvotes.

[–]Prince_Ali_Ababwa 4 points5 points ago

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[–]the_real_dirty 2 points3 points ago

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JUST NOMMIN ON SOME MUFUKIN BARK

lololololo that's where I lost it

[–]bumblebeerose 1 point2 points ago

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literally just staring at all of these pictures wanting to reach in and hug them :(

[–]supplepanda 0 points1 point ago

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Give me $20 and let's do this shit

[–]PandaFuccer 0 points1 point ago

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I am too. You have no idea.

[–]Des56 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for saving me from the disappointment of not seeing a real panda.

[–]SLangR 0 points1 point ago

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And that makes me a sad panda...

[–]pvtjoerummy 60 points61 points ago

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Yet another one of those times when I wish my common sense would outweigh my curiosity.

[–]MrJacoste 11 points12 points ago

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An astute statement sir.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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We've already got /r/pandafuck

[–]WinterInJapan 71 points72 points ago

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A community for 2 months.

Wait, what?

[–]AfraidOfPandas 36 points37 points ago

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You spelled r/nosleep wrong

[–]SpacemanSpiff56 16 points17 points ago

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User for 1 month.

What's going on here?

[–]beergoggles69 4 points5 points ago

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And it's the same guy linking all 4 videos. What a man.

[–]westonsbellpepper 2 points3 points ago

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I tried to be shocked at this, but I just can't even be surprised. After a decade of struggling, the internet has finally won.

[–]RebelinNeedofCause 1 point2 points ago

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You lasted a decade... I lasted two years at best before the internet sucked away my ability to get shocked.

[–]stillnotking 3 points4 points ago

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I am now only shocked by people who are shocked at things. It genuinely startles me to remember that I used to think some stuff was "offensive".

[–]silverstone12 1 point2 points ago

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[–]stillnotking 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck no, I'm not proud of it. I'm actually more than a little disturbed.

[–]silverstone12 1 point2 points ago

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in that case i take it back forgive me please

[–]Bungalowbeast 24 points25 points ago

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What's the best way to talk the panda bear to join the army? Maybe a sexy busty teenage hottie in a military outfit can do that?

What the...I don't...wow.

[–]Parsignia 45 points46 points ago

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[–]tomoom165 15 points16 points ago

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I request this in .gif form.

[–]shabufa 40 points41 points ago

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personally, i think this is a better gif

[–]tomoom165 12 points13 points ago

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Aww fuck yeah!

[–]shabufa 27 points28 points ago

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[–]CaptainKilljoy 1 point2 points ago

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So, are we done here?

[–]shabufa 12 points13 points ago

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[–]okkk27 9 points10 points ago

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[–]altoid2k4 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Darkecookie 54 points55 points ago*

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For those of you who are curious. NSFW Your friend has some weird fetishes

[–]mycatdieddamnit 70 points71 points ago

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Well... I really don't know what I was expecting...

[–]diaperboy19 20 points21 points ago

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I for one was expecting bestiality. This is really tame in comparison.

[–]vitticho 9 points10 points ago

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I wasn't expecting bestiality, per say. But I was at LEAST expecting some animals getting it on.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]vitticho 1 point2 points ago

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Just know that you should not view it at work, or near your parents, or your girlfriend. (IT'S PORN)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TrustyGuy 3 points4 points ago

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Let's just say that there are some girls who woke up one day and said, "Yes, you can photograph me imitating fellatio on a panda with a strap-on for money."

[–]kyzfrintin 1 point2 points ago

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Girls fucking a man in a panda costume.

[–]wdejr 10 points11 points ago

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I for one expected blood... am I weird?

[–]nomadBro 2 points3 points ago

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No, just a vampire.

[–]darwyn4 26 points27 points ago*

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[–]iLama 1 point2 points ago

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Is it weird that I actually heard him laughing in my head when I saw this?

[–]Leiby02 19 points20 points ago

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NSFW

[–]Spr09 15 points16 points ago

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NSFW

[–]Darkecookie 8 points9 points ago

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/facepalm forgot to tag that

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Those girls really like mayonnaise.

[–]bardfaust 56 points57 points ago

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[–]ehmohteeoh 34 points35 points ago

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Sweet Jesus this is marvelous. The stretched aspect ratio, all caps, red text, even down to the artifacting. A true work of art.

[–]account512 9 points10 points ago

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plus Non-cropped whitespace

[–]SgtFish 8 points9 points ago

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I don't get it.

[–]aklovemynuts 13 points14 points ago

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I think it was posted to r/trees a while back, explaining in the title that the OPs friend made this at a [9] or what not.

[–]VagueContextMan 3 points4 points ago

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This was posted somewhere between a week and 6 months ago on some sort of drugs subreddit. It was explained that an acquaintance of the submitter made this macro, while at varying degrees of highness.

[–]iampug 1 point2 points ago

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I want to frame this comment and place its framed image on my dresser.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You forgot to mention the wonderfully horrifying spelling mistakes and duplicated/unnecessary words.

[–]badam104172 26 points27 points ago

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This comment should win the nobel prize

[–]drakeg4 5 points6 points ago

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My brain exploded trying to parse that sentence.

[–]Rainfly_X 15 points16 points ago

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[–]unohoo09 0 points1 point ago

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Hey DUDE dadadau daDAU do do do dadadau daDAU do do do DO! Hey, DUDE, is that dadadau, DADAU.

[–]FappyGoRound 11 points12 points ago

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I'm just happy they used pretty girl next door type models, when I clicked I was kind of worried I was going to see some dried up old needleskanks, but it's all a happy fun time in there.

[–]AwhMan 2 points3 points ago

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Also in settings that look like they're meant to be a childs bedroom or a playschool.

I really wonder who thought "ok, we should make some porn with girls fucking giant stuffed pandas with dildos, but you know what will make that even more awesome? Make them look at much like children as possible within legal boundaries. That's what panda fucking needs"

There's even a disney princess bedspread and them playing twister....

[–]FappyGoRound 0 points1 point ago

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If you're looking that hard at the set and the props, you're missing the point of pornography.

[–]AwhMan 0 points1 point ago

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I was just saying I'm not sure how the train of thought that led to "You know what panda fucking needs? Jailbait!" Especially as some of those girls could be considered prepubescent in some of those pictures.

Also I don't like ladies, so it was easy for me to see past them :P

[–]FappyGoRound 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I guess the jailbait theme seems to be working for them, but I can't really comment without seeing what other sites they produce.

For all we know the Owner could be a massive old pervert with a sweaty chest and a Hawaiian shirt, paying top dollar for those types of actresses. On the other hand it could be a couple of college kids with some coin who had the wild idea that girls love pandas, why not panda love with some of them college girls..

Something that we may never know the answer of.

[–]KingGorilla 2 points3 points ago

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Also good quality photos with great lighting. I would definitely fap if it was free. A-

[–]wildfyr 13 points14 points ago

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The most incredibly applicable set of arrested screen shots ever

[–]alfabetsoop 8 points9 points ago

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Very clever, owner of pandafuck.com...

[–]vvedge 7 points8 points ago

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Are you for panda rape?

[–]ChiperSoft 12 points13 points ago

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[–]tdltuck 1 point2 points ago

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I'm in tears!

Is one or more of those voices one or more of the guys who did those GI Joe shorts?

[–]StacyPastry 4 points5 points ago

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You crazy woman!

[–]vvedge 1 point2 points ago

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[–]mGDivinO 9 points10 points ago

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I lack even a single ball to visit that site. Would someone please enlighten me as to what goes on on pandafuck.com? In the form of a well-worded description?

[–]dizzi800 10 points11 points ago

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A person in a panda suits fucks girls that are probably 18 on the dot (Made up to look really young) and has sex with them with a hard plastic dick and then a really fake looking cum shot

[–]mGDivinO 12 points13 points ago

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....... Glad I asked and didn't click. Thanks.

[–]the_real_dirty 7 points8 points ago

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He then goes on to click

[–]mGDivinO 0 points1 point ago

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Haven't. Won't. :)

[–]bastardfromabasket 4 points5 points ago

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It's like a stuffed panda bear or something, i can't tell, with a dildo attached and there's a bunch of pics of girls going at it. I think you might have to pay to see videos, idk, didn't stay long enough to find out. Also the fake jizz they use looks like elmer's glue. I think that grossed me out the most of all.

[–]They_Call_Me_Nasty 3 points4 points ago

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Pandafuck.com: "Where every cumshot helps starving, abused, and nearly extinct pandas in need in China." ...Seems legit

[–]SicSemperTyrannis 3 points4 points ago

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[–]JackTD 2 points3 points ago

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This is exactly like when I see a sign that says 'wet paint'.

[–]DrCerberus 2 points3 points ago

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This is how I reacted when my friend told me to see Cake Farts.

[–]CrunkinCrumpet 4 points5 points ago

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I couldn't have seen this 7 minutes ago?

[–]myrden 1 point2 points ago

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did i see a box of hentai tacos back there

[–]philge 1 point2 points ago

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Why does it have a rubber cock?

[–]dontcondescendme_man 1 point2 points ago

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A cute, pink rubber cock?

[–]occupymylefty 1 point2 points ago

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Without consciously doing it, I said the exact same thing.

[–]violetxrain 1 point2 points ago

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That was a the most delightfully colorful porn site I've ever visited. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. :)

[–]ajlm 1 point2 points ago

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"You didn't eat that, did you? 'Cause I've only got a couple days left to return it."

[–]MrSwanson2UMN 1 point2 points ago

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That wasn't funny at all... I now have those images burnt into my eyes. Thanks for ruining masturbation.

[–]backhudson[S] -1 points0 points ago

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You're welcome.

[–]AfraidOfPandas 1 point2 points ago

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Aaaaah! AAAAAAAAAAH! WTF? AAAAAAAH!

Side note, I accidentally typed in "pandafucking.com" the first time. It is no less terrifying.

[–]monkeyvselephant 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder if that's close enough likeness for WWF's lawyers to throw a cease and desist.

[–]Mudders_Milk_Man 1 point2 points ago

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Heh. I have a friend who mentioned that site to me, too.

He's rather ecumenical with his porn tastes, that's for sure.

I will say that when I saw pics from two of the vids, one of the irls was gorgeous. -shrug-

[–]PSUProud 1 point2 points ago

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You're not gonna eat that are you?

[–]fluffinatrajp 1 point2 points ago

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Some dumbshit got me interested in a website called pandafuck.com

His name was random post on reddit.

[–]backhudson[S] -2 points-1 points ago

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Awwww Yeeeaaaah

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Ali_Bro 1 point2 points ago

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What show is this from?

[–]subjunctive_please 2 points3 points ago

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Arrested Development

[–]backhudson[S] -1 points0 points ago

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Best show of all time.

[–]templerist 1 point2 points ago

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You should check out this one next. Cake Farts.

[–]RoosterUnit 1 point2 points ago

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I made the mistake of continuing on to pudding farts.

[–]_Battletoads 1 point2 points ago

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Dude. I want some mini tacos.

[–]Paradisity 0 points1 point ago

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Hot stuff.

[–]alpha300 0 points1 point ago

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What episode is that from?

[–]Taubin 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't this why incognito mode was added to browsers?

[–]CitrusTwist 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if that shit turns them on?

[–]mojokabobo 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder how much those girls get paid..

[–]maxlgold25 0 points1 point ago

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"my reddit friends told me to go to pandafuck.com..."

[–]Allster 0 points1 point ago

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I am definitely clearing my browsing history.

[–]TheScreamerRide 0 points1 point ago

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I am actually watching that episode right now. I feel good about that.

[–]iamnotfromtexas90 0 points1 point ago

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rule 34 is always correct

[–]BalalaikaBoi 0 points1 point ago

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Those are some hot white girls. No orange blondes, and no misshapen, obnoxiously fake tits.

[–]iMythD 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of Professor Genki..

[–]the_onetwo 0 points1 point ago

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[–]ZenGenX 0 points1 point ago

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TIL panda jizz looks a lot like yogurt.

[–]sugar_cube 0 points1 point ago

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I actually feel kind of bad for whoever is in the panda suit. It must be terrible wearing a fur suit while having sex under bright lights, even worse having to wear a strap-on and get no pleasure from it.

I'm surprised at how blatantly they copied the WWF logo though...

[–]warratah 0 points1 point ago

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well i"m pretty much gonna have to go to pandafuk.com now.... i can't be left out.

[–]Cognoggin 0 points1 point ago

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It's a phony! A big fat phony!

[–]Rhinoceros_Party 0 points1 point ago

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It's a web site full of Arrested Development quotes!? I'd love that!

Oh ... I don't know why I expected that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I kicked on this link cuz It said "pandafuck"... What the hell is wrong with me?

[–]nubknacker 0 points1 point ago

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Sure. Your "friend" told you to go there. :)

[–]Floaticola 0 points1 point ago

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none of the videos have trailers, and im not paying to watch this shit, as great as it would be to watch a pandafuck. ಠ_ಠ

[–]a_fig_newton 0 points1 point ago

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At this point I'm pretty sure there's nothing that doesn't exist on the internet.

[–]ninjasaurus_rex 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for arrested development. Not even gonna bother going to the site.

[–]backhudson[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I'd like to thank everybody for upvoting! I really never thought that a little joke among friends would make it to the FRONT PAGE! If you could, go upvote or friend the stuff the friends who helped me come up with this make. They're names are toomtoom165 and ColonolCool. I thank you in advance.

[–]tomoom165 4 points5 points ago

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Hudson you idiot, it's tomoom165 not toomtoom165.

[–]backhudson[S] -1 points0 points ago

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Love you too, Thomas.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]efischerSC2 4 points5 points ago

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No... There is a line and you crossed it. This isn't funny.

[–]rebeccahlouise -1 points0 points ago

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People would actually fap to ANYTHING!

[–]Phoequinox -1 points0 points ago

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I'm incredibly disturbed by, not only how many comments want man-on-bear action, but how many upvotes those comments have.

That said, I'm one of those people. YOU AREN'T ALL SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE ME! What the fuck is wrong with you all?!

[–]iamatoad -2 points-1 points ago

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Ribbit.