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1112
1113

Thats how you write a good Atheist joke ! (imgur.com)

submitted ago by AllTheZoltans

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[–]JaronK 53 points54 points ago

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Interesting factoid: crosses are also an ancient symbol for the sun. Vampires are weak to the sun. That's why they avoid crosses. It has nothing to do with Christianity.

[–]CoastalCity 12 points13 points ago

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Source? I don't keep a book of "ancient symbols and their meanings" handy.

[–]ColnelCoitus 11 points12 points ago*

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_cross

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_symbol#Sun_Circle

Edit, I'm not supporting his claim, that this is why vampires are repelled by crosses. However, crosses represent the sun in some pre-christian folklore.

Edit 2, It seems that our current view of what a vampire is (Most characteristics) are outlined in 18th century Folklore from southeastern European Countries. This doesn't necessarily rule out OP's claim, but makes it slightly less likely. - "However, despite the occurrence of vampire-like creatures in these ancient civilizations, the folklore for the entity we know today as the vampire originates almost exclusively from early 18th-century southeastern Europe" (wikipedia)

[–]badmonkey0001 4 points5 points ago

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Interestingly, by this theory the Devil would also have been the enemy of the vampire. Before he was cast down, he was Lucifer ("light bearer", "morning star") - the symbol of dawn and daylight.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer

I'm sure there's a good Devil vs. Vampires story concept in that somewhere...

[–]herrmister 4 points5 points ago

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However lucifer was not originally identified as the devil. That was a relatively later fabrication (not that the rest of the story has any truth at all).

[–]JaronK 4 points5 points ago

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I sense the most awesome story ever. Lucifer vs the Devil! The devil is in fact the king of all vampires. Meanwhile, Lucifer was cast down not to hell, but to earth to hunt the vampire spawn. He has the power to see all that the sun can see, and if any vampire sees the sun, he's coming for them.

Maybe also make it a buddy cop movie. He's an angel who doesn't play by the rules. She's a badass cop who also doesn't play by the rules. They fight vampires! Coming June 2013.

[–]badmonkey0001 1 point2 points ago

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A twist: Vampires are undead because they aren't allowed into hell...

[–]badmonkey0001 0 points1 point ago

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Agreed on that. It's a tenuous aspect to be sure, but then again most fiction based on the bible or christian mythos stretches things pretty far.

[–]unnoved 1 point2 points ago

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I read somewhere sometime ago, that the name Lucifer was misinterpreted and wrongly atributed to the devil (read the first angel) by someone in charge of translating one of the early versions of the bible. The name Luficer was used in reference to the city of Babylon (morning star) for its grandiosity or something along those lines. Again, that was a long time ago and I don't claim to be a scholar so I could be wrong. Also - if I'm not mistaken - the name only appears in the bible a couple of times, as opposed to Satan and other variations. I'd be glad if someone else could refute or add some proof to this theory.

[–]badmonkey0001 1 point2 points ago

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True. The Wikipedia entry mentions this.

[–]cludeo656565 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_cross

[–]OhMyGoat 9 points10 points ago

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Good fact. Not applicable to Twilight, though.

[–]noarchy 9 points10 points ago

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Not applicable to any book that connects crosses, Christianity, and vampires. What a symbol meant to ancients is nice and all, but if more modern works of fiction change the meaning, that's the new "normal".

[–]OhMyGoat 1 point2 points ago

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This means all new vampires will sparkle in the sun? Well that sucks...

[–]JaronK 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's quite possible that various later vampire authors had studied earlier myths to sound more plausible (like garlic being healthy and thus fighting off death) and might have read that this symbol is against vampires.

[–]ExplainsObviousJoke 3 points4 points ago

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Because those vampires sparkle in the sun.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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In twilight they are allergic to vajazzling

[–]coffeefueled 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for the Bob and Tom reference.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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that wasn't a reference... who the fuck is bob and toim

[–]squigs 1 point2 points ago

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You know, the suffix "-oid" typically means similar to but not the same as. So a factoid is something that looks like, but isn't a fact.

A factoid would be something like that one where we'd boil if the earth was 10 feet closer to the sun.

So are you saying that this is actually not true?

[–]meepmorp 0 points1 point ago

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The more commonly used meaning for the word factoid is a brief or trivial piece of news or information.

[–]nnotserPx 2 points3 points ago

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your facts are impeding on my basic human right to make fun of circlejerk about theists

[–]Drakonisch -1 points0 points ago

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Who was making fun of crosses hurting vampires? In fact, who was making fun of christianity? It's treated just like any other work of fiction. What we make fun of are the people who believe that every word in the book is true and think they should follow what it says. We even make fun of non fundies sometimes. And you know what? They make fun of us too. I don't see how we can get called a circlejerk all the time for making fun of them but they can make fun of us with immunity.

[–]geotek 0 points1 point ago

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Yea wheres your source for this? I have my doubts.

[–]JaronK 0 points1 point ago

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Here's a few: http://www.symbols.com/encyclopedia/29/291.html , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_cross , http://www.seiyaku.com/customs/crosses/sun.html , http://symboldictionary.net/?p=784

Hope that helps. And yes, the original had a circle around it too (note the Celtic Cross comes from this symbol). Next time you're fighting vampires, try putting a circle around your cross for extra effect.

[–]Thenewfoundlanders 0 points1 point ago

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That's freaking awesome, I had no idea about that. Where did you learn that, that crosses also represent the sun?

[–]ocelotmecha 0 points1 point ago

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"freaking awesome"

The Internet, where everything is far more exciting than it should be.

[–]Thenewfoundlanders 0 points1 point ago

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Hell, I get this excited over things like this in real life too. I. JUST WANT HIM. TO RESPOND

[–]JaronK 0 points1 point ago

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Already did, but to another comment. You weren't the only one who asked!

[–]UnknownArchive 106 points107 points ago

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Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Richard Pryor on why we use crucifixes on vampires. 1com -3pts 1mo atheism
Richard Pryor is Awesome! 0coms -1pt 2mos atheism
Atheist quotes don't have to be deep and philosophical to be awesome 54coms 746pts 2mos atheism
Richard Pryor explains the crucifix. 23coms 532pts 2mos atheism
Richard Pryor loves vampires 15coms 336pts 4mos pics
Richard Pryor knew what was up 6coms 47pts 5mos atheism
Vampires - allergic to bullshit 15coms 273pts 5mos funny
Why vampires hate the Crucifix? 61coms 1142pts 2yrs atheism

source: karmadecay

[–]LookARedSquirrel84 24 points25 points ago

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That's it? Thought it would be much higher.

[–]DoubleChocolate 12 points13 points ago

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This is actually on our laughably outdated collection of "shit that gets posted too much" so redditors are rarely brave enough to repost it.

[–]F0REM4N 1 point2 points ago

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Some of us saw the shit...dum dum duuummmmm... BEFORE REDDIT.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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If that's all there is, then statistically the vast majority of us have never seen this joke on Reddit. To most of us, this is not a repost.

[–]apullin 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not sure what to think about. I'm glad that I hassled people enough by this by posting all the previous reposts of their repost as a comment, so now the shaming of reposts in instant and clear. On the other hand, now that everyone does it, and now do it with nice formatting, I no longer get the satisfaction or glory of doing it myself ....

[–]pill_popper -2 points-1 points ago

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You're doing the lord's work, my son

[–]Pseudopolitics 1 point2 points ago

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I see what you did there...

[–]executex -1 points0 points ago

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Really now we're going to upvote this statistics comment every time someone does a repost? Hmm, I guess this scripted bot account is going to make a lot of karma, and we're going to be constantly pissed at each other about introducing old content to people who haven't seen it before and are upvoting it.

[–]passwordisGOD -1 points0 points ago

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Sometimes people ask how they will ever stop their addiction to reddit. The answer is when you see nothing you haven't seen before, you get sick of it.

[–]mtldude1967 14 points15 points ago

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Like George Carlin, he was ahead of his time...

[–]executex 9 points10 points ago

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Or neither were ahead of their time, that they were both just in time, but due to degradation of free thought comedians have become shamed into not talking about such "offensive subjects"---it shows how powerful religion is at regaining control and persecuting the non-believers or at least shaming them in some way.

[–]obliviious 3 points4 points ago

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In the US maybe. I regularly hear jabs at religion from uk comedians.

[–]Oblivious2Humor 5 points6 points ago

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"God was a junky, baby!"

[–]fistea 4 points5 points ago

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To everyone shitting on the OP, I havent seen this before, so thanks.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Yes. Three decades ago. Also, this joke is here fortnightly motherfucker.

[–]Didji -1 points0 points ago

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I haven't seen it before. Thanks for posting OP.

[–]herrmister 2 points3 points ago

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You'll see it again in three days.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Seriously. Shut up. Saying "new to me!" is pretty fucking sorry when it's a 30 year old Richard Pryor joke.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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But it is new to me. And I've been a fan of Richard Pryor for over 30 years. The pet monkey sketch still cracks me up every time.

[–]Didji 0 points1 point ago

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The joke isn't even new to me; I've heard it before. Yet the image is, and I was amused by the joke when reminded of it here. I was glad to see this post, and it being a repost is irrelevant to that.

Also, fuck you.

[–]xteve -2 points-1 points ago

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And not a good one. The arbitrary invention of facts (even within a myth) does not lead to a satisfying laugh.

[–]Spenglish 1 point2 points ago

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This image is my desktop background.

[–]Ateisti 1 point2 points ago

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How is this an atheist joke? If a muslim tells this joke, is it then a muslim joke?

[–]TenshiS 1 point2 points ago

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Not if he uses a star and crescent instead of a cross. Then it's still atheist. And he will probably be punished to death.

[–]dwemthy 1 point2 points ago

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The vampiric allergy to bullshit has been thoroughly disproven. I believe there is a multi part treatise on this subject by a popular researcher named Stephanie Meyer.

[–]FadedAndJaded 1 point2 points ago

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So we are severely lacking in prominent Atheist comedians these days.

We had Pryor, Carlin, Hicks. Off the top of my head, I can't think of someone now who would be up to snuff. At least in the US.

I've heard Bill Burr bash religion, not sure he is an Atheist though. But we have a lack of comedians whose main purpose is to call out bullshit in a well done intelligent way.

[–]ScottFree37 0 points1 point ago

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Hicks was not an atheist. He was most likely some kind of non conformist theists. He was very anti organized religion, but philosophised in great detail about god.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Seen this like.. Years ago.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Oldie but goodie!

[–]theowest 0 points1 point ago

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So they are allergic to themselves?

[–]Popero44 0 points1 point ago

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Ha ha spot on!

[–]ducks_are_human 0 points1 point ago

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I love that man.... he's comedy god

[–]brownsniffer 0 points1 point ago

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This Richard Pryor qoute is older than Richard Pryor himself

[–]drblacko 0 points1 point ago

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Excellent, watched Live and Smokin' recently!

Anyone got this in a bigger size?

[–]radlow 0 points1 point ago

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ah...... Richard Pryor - comic genius decades ahead of his time

[–]exnor 0 points1 point ago

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Buy a cow. Be safe from vampires forever.

[–]TerryArchi 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry, but nowadays vampires pretty much are bullshit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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hahahahaha

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Third best comedian of all time

[–]shellseeker1212 0 points1 point ago

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haha so funny

[–]squigs 0 points1 point ago

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It's not a particularly good joke though. It's okay but there are much funnier ones posted here on a regular basis.

[–]Navi_to_the_rescue 0 points1 point ago

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  • atheist

[–]migraine516 0 points1 point ago

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And here's the weekly posting of this pic.

[–]cyberphin 0 points1 point ago

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Question: Can a person believe in other super natural phenomena, such as vampires, but not a god and still be considered a true atheist?

[–]slowhand88 1 point2 points ago

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Uh, yeah. Atheism is lack of belief in God. It is the opposite of Theism, which is a belief in God.

Neither word implies any other belief on any other subject.

[–]cyberphin 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you.

[–]Vormav 0 points1 point ago

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Well, yes. Atheism describes a non-belief in a god or gods, so if they match that then they're an atheist.

However, I don't think they can be called a rational, logical thinker.

[–]apostate_next_door -1 points0 points ago

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I have seen this on Reddit a few times, but it never gets old. Upvotes for you.

[–]tinyroom -1 points0 points ago

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1971 - Vampires before Twilight

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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These days, vampires ARE bullshit, and many are allergic to them.

[–]DonJunbar -1 points0 points ago

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This never happened.

[–]bluefoot55 -1 points0 points ago

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This joke is not necessarily atheist.

It could be a deist joke, because it calls the crucifixion (Jesus dies on the cross to redeem mankind of its sins) bullshit, not the idea of a supreme being.

[–]doomvillainy 0 points1 point ago

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It is necessarily anti-theist by deeming a religious symbol (the cross) bullshit.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]knighmare -1 points0 points ago

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When i was a lurker reposts never bugged me, are there more now or am i just noticing them more

[–]Wapook -2 points-1 points ago

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Hey, has anyone else in this subreddit ever seen this posted to /r/atheism before?

[–]JohnJohnMcLovin -2 points-1 points ago

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fuck you, copy-pasta nazzi.

[–]newtonsapple -2 points-1 points ago

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You may want to type Pryor into the Search bar. You're about the 200th person to submit this.

[–]pikindaguy -5 points-4 points ago

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Neil Degrasse Tyson is right on the money again.

[–]Leroytankin 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed, have an upvote!

[–]crazyfrogseptember11 -4 points-3 points ago

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yes thank you a dead black man tells the world like it is (god isnt real stupid fucking bitch heh fuck mc square guy fucking christian bitch)

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