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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]imrobert 2612 points2613 points ago

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Was this inspired by me at all? If so I'm flattered.

[–]CookieDoughCooter 303 points304 points ago

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Me: I hope you're enjoying your subscription to Daily Feline Info*. To unsubscribe reply with "unsubscribe".

Him: unsubscribe

Me: You've got to be kitten me! Are you sure you want to unsubscribe from Daily Feline Info?

Him: yes

Me: Command not recognized.

I am dry heaving

[–]frackyou[S] 1154 points1155 points ago

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Yes, it was! Give this man some upvotes, people. I didn't mean to steal your karma, just thought it'd be a good trick on my cousin after he put his number on FB. Thanks for the inspiration, imrobert (Funny how my cousin has the same name as you too!)

[–]imrobert 527 points528 points ago

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Not stealing at all! As I mentioned in that comment the idea wasn't entirely mine either. I'm glad you're having fun with it.

[–]frackyou[S] 325 points326 points ago

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Thanks! I hope I did yours justice :) You really made me laugh and I kept it in the back of my mind to try on someone - till now!

[–]imrobert 219 points220 points ago

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Was it just a quick gag or are you going long term? It seems like it would be tough to manage with hourly updates.

[–]frackyou[S] 359 points360 points ago

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I already ended it where the thread ended. I posted it to his FB page and now all the family/friends are having a good laugh there. He thought it was funny when he found out it was me and said he was REALLY worried about getting these every hour for the rest of his life.

[–]imrobert 292 points293 points ago

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That's awesome. I have an idea of how I'm going to end mine whenever I get bored with it but I'd like to go for at least a few months.

[–]frackyou[S] 239 points240 points ago

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Wow. That's dedication. You are my hero.

[–]elnrith 293 points294 points ago

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this is the most civilized exchange iv seen int he history of reddit

[–]pocketpoetry 249 points250 points ago

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fucking ruined it, bro.

[–]mr3dguy 39 points40 points ago

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you obviously don't spend much time in /r/violinist

[–]dtrappp 56 points57 points ago

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but I'd like to go for at least a few more months.

My god...

[–]purpleddit 58 points59 points ago

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I can't stop laughing. It's waking up my kid.

[–]NonPermissive 758 points759 points ago

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Try dropping some of these facts in conversation next time he's around.

[–]atalkingfish 496 points497 points ago

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"To cancel, say 'pneumonoultramicroscopisdfhbekblooberlycuffs'"

[–]Moosifer 484 points485 points ago

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I spent way too much time trying to actually say that out loud.

[–]squiresuzuki 223 points224 points ago

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the first half of the word actually is part of a real word, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. then it goes into blooberlycuffs crap.

[–]zarzak 95 points96 points ago

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blooberlycuffs ... rofl, makes me laugh every time

[–]vizzle_ 47 points48 points ago

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You mean this isn't the first time you've seen the word "blooberlycuffs?"

[–]captionUnderstanding 37 points38 points ago

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[–]Socks_In_The_Mirror 118 points119 points ago

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And even though I hadn't even considered it before, I now have to attempt it after reading your comment.

[–]Miley_Cyrax 72 points73 points ago

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Although I wasn't considering it even after Moosifer's comment, now I have to attempt it after reading your comment.

[–]AcidicSuperSam 135 points136 points ago

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I'm still not going to try it.

[–]Wulibo 31 points32 points ago

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well now I am.

[–]deadcom 33 points34 points ago

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Guess I have to now that I've come this far

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

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God hates a quitter.

[–]thebillmac3 28 points29 points ago

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And quilters just barely get away with it.

[–]minikites 84 points85 points ago

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Prisencolinensinainciusol?

[–]acciobrainyspecs 43 points44 points ago

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Awrigh'!

[–]Wulibo 25 points26 points ago

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WHY DON'T I KNOW ANY OTHER PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE WHO LOVE THIS SONG!?

[–]Kashman58 21 points22 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]jclar1701d 598 points599 points ago

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I just learned a lot about cats

[–]wave517 87 points88 points ago

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Me too!

[–]Blackmase 560 points561 points ago

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Mee-Wow!

[–]Jabcab 450 points451 points ago

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At my college, room to room mail was free. In fact, one of my friends mailed another a twinkie by just writing the dorm and room number on the wrapper.

Anyway, a couple buddies and I "signed" a friend up for the spoon-of-the-day club. Every day we stole a spoon from the dining hall and mailed it to his room. I'm not sure he ever found out who was doing it.

[–]KallistiEngel 104 points105 points ago

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As someone who works in a campus dining hall: So THAT'S where all our spoons have been going!

[–]murder1 135 points136 points ago

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As someone who lived in a campus dorm: You do NOT want those spoons back.

[–]shoooobop 160 points161 points ago

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This is brilliant. Spoons are so mundane.

[–]Nebu 25 points26 points ago

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[–]thefreq 26 points27 points ago

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Oh my god that is so funny. I want to sign up for spoon of the day now!

[–]menace64 14 points15 points ago

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I have no idea why, but I nearly suffocated from laughing to this. God that is funny.

[–]xcforlife 271 points272 points ago

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I don't know your cousin but I already love him. I think I'll text him to show my approval...

[–]Minister_of_truth 174 points175 points ago

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Did you know that when cats piss or vomit on your shoes it's a sign of undying devotion?

[–]richard_photograph 159 points160 points ago

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my ex didnt think so.

[–]NotActualIrony 121 points122 points ago

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Your ex was a cat?

[–]richard_photograph 217 points218 points ago

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of course not...i am

[–]Legoandsprit 37 points38 points ago

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I didn't think cat ladies got rid of their cats.

[–]wave517 71 points72 points ago

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They don't. Eventually they die and their cats eat them.

[–]MufasaSimba 53 points54 points ago

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he ate his girlfriend!... and then he's going to eat me... OHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!

[–]AlexIsYoDaddy 538 points539 points ago

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Best cat facts post I've seen so far

[–]neyvit 145 points146 points ago

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Makes me want to sign up for this service. (281)330-8004 - sign meow up, I'm bored!

[–][deleted] 142 points143 points ago

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This is Mike Jones phone number. A rap artist who had a song where he told everyone this number.

[–]neyvit 158 points159 points ago

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Who??

[–]unndunn 144 points145 points ago

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Mike Jones ;)

[–]khag 89 points90 points ago

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WHO?

[–]InvertedLogic 172 points173 points ago

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MIKE JONEEEESSS

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]libertas81 86 points87 points ago

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I can just imagine the rage as he's typing out the code and it auto-corrects.

[–]Spants23 2029 points2030 points ago

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the last text made the whole thing

[–]tarro 485 points486 points ago

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WHERE DO I SIGN UP FOR CAT FACTS

[–]thepizzlefry 261 points262 points ago

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Welcome to Cat Facts! Did you know that cats were domesticated from the African wildcat somewhere in the Middle East 10,000 years ago? <To cancel Cat Facts reply uugfuwerng18832u0324in>

[–][deleted] 155 points156 points ago

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uugfuwerng18832u0324in

[–]QueenNavy 560 points561 points ago

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command not recognize. you will now receive a year worth of Nickleback music.

[–]Flyingbuffaloman 699 points700 points ago

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Okay at first this was funny, but shit just got real.

[–]nordicnomad 64 points65 points ago

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Text Robert and ask him.

[–]wishyouwerebeer 121 points122 points ago

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Dear Robert: gimme cat facts right meow.

[–]RalphMacchio 39 points40 points ago

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Just leave your cell # after this message.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TotesMagotes376 24 points25 points ago*

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Out of sheer curiosity, has your phone been bombarded at all? Also, if you get a dick pic reply "ooi8934u5hia" to cancel.

[–]sockpuppets 15 points16 points ago

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A really small one? Yeah, I got it. Giggle and delete!

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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If you send me a dollar a day, or 7/week, ill make sure youll have a cat fact to wake up to every single morning.

[–]LeMeowman 1641 points1642 points ago

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The whole thing left me saying, Mee-wow!

[–]TheRedArrow 288 points289 points ago

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I read that in Dean Pelton's voice.

[–]drakoman 72 points73 points ago

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i don't remember anything you said before rectum.

[–]Shiniholum 119 points120 points ago

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COMMUNITY FANS ASSEMBLE!

[–]TheCrazyBandicoot 103 points104 points ago

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POP POP!!!

[–]Classic_Wingers 27 points28 points ago

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PFFT!

[–]Shiniholum 41 points42 points ago

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POP POP

[–]rhinofinger 8 points9 points ago

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Pop what? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY!

[–]gfixler 30 points31 points ago

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INTO COMMUNITRON! AND I'LL FORM... THE HEAD!

[–]Shiniholum 36 points37 points ago

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AND I'LL FORM THE SLIGHTLY AMBIGUOUS THIRD LEG!

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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What!?!? That's a leg?

[–]liveincolorr 8 points9 points ago

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Cool. Cool cool cool.

[–]billythekid69 7 points8 points ago

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smartest comedy on tv since arrested development

[–]CHEESEONFlRE 13 points14 points ago

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Community upvote

[–]sedusa 721 points722 points ago

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LeMeowman

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Likes_Your_Name 760 points761 points ago

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LeMeowman

Redditor since: 2011-04-12 (9 months and 14 days)

Link Karma: 9642

Comment Karma: 7186

He's.... Legit... ಠ_ಠ

[–]big_gordo 447 points448 points ago

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My god. The... chosen one.

[–]robbykills 403 points404 points ago

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....the one that will bring balance to the furs

[–]wookiee_1138 94 points95 points ago

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I'm imagining cats with lightsabers and force lightning.

[–]robbykills 126 points127 points ago

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[–]I_want_UPBOATS 83 points84 points ago

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I love how the internet always delivers.

[–]catchersjournal 51 points52 points ago

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I am so glad this exists.

[–]robbykills 11 points12 points ago

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fighting over a ball of yarn, while Spool of the Fates blares in the background

[–]OzymandiasReborn 6 points7 points ago

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I'm sure there's a video of that online somewhere.

[–]Mongoose42 185 points186 points ago

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You were my brother, LeMeowman! You were suppose to bring balance to the furs, not leave it in darkness!

[–]LeMeowman 194 points195 points ago

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The furs rejected me first! They said the "Le" in my name was silly, and redundant! They failed to recognize me as the real Meowman!!

[–]LeCatMan 88 points89 points ago

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WAIT WHAT ABOUT ME

[–]LeMeowman 55 points56 points ago

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[–]lanstrangevx 90 points91 points ago

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The legend..

[–]Thirdfanged 85 points86 points ago

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...begins.

[–]leftsideofthelane 25 points26 points ago

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In their tongue he is catfuking feline born.

[–]GallifreyanRavenclaw 35 points36 points ago

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catfuking

Where is I_RAPE_CATS?

[–]baby_corn_is_corn 22 points23 points ago

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and defeat Darth Meow

[–]20MinutesPast4 13 points14 points ago

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That'll be four bucks baby!!

[–]theknightwhosays_nee 90 points91 points ago

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I wish the internet was more populated with monty python memes.

sigh...nee

[–]CardinalXimenez 178 points179 points ago

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NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

[–]baby_corn_is_corn 61 points62 points ago

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Thank you for calling confuse-a-cat.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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what?

[–]SWEETBRO 23 points24 points ago

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you shoulda been here in the nineties

[–]theknightwhosays_nee 32 points33 points ago

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I miss Geocities. ;_;

[–]LeMeowman 47 points48 points ago

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I'm sure if Geocities still existed, my shitty pokemon page with pokemon pictures would still have only 48 page hits....all from me.

[–]metameat 7 points8 points ago

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Did it have a frames/no frames intro page? Flame gifs around the title?

[–]sczmbz 10 points11 points ago

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Even worse, the blinking 'under construction' sign.

[–]LeMeowman 5 points6 points ago

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Flame gifs, flame gifs everywhere..

[–]gooseus 65 points66 points ago

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Sorry, I do not... I accept all downvotes in advance, but I went to school with this obnoxious kid who's incessant quoting of Monty Python in the WORST possible english accent made me almost incapable of watching it.

After many years I was able to laugh at Holy Grail, but even now when I read most quotes, they're in his voice and I get angry

[–]Mekkins 50 points51 points ago

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I weep for you.

[–]MrMono1 8 points9 points ago

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Shut up, I'll bite your kneecaps off!

[–]bedhead269 6 points7 points ago

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On second thought, let's not go there; it is a silly place.

[–]Switche 11 points12 points ago

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Only Who Can Prevent Forest Fires?

You pressed "YOU," referring to me; that is incorrect.

[–]lordnecro 166 points167 points ago

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It was smirk worthy... then the final text actually made me laugh.

[–]Hysteriia 107 points108 points ago

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last text

final text

I'm fairly certain these words mean the same thing

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Dreoh 100 points101 points ago

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no he is Hysteriia

[–]Hysteriia 19 points20 points ago

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Thanks. I would be lost without you, deedubya.

[–]pepg 57 points58 points ago

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ITS THE FINAL TEXT DOWN

[–]krakenknuckles 22 points23 points ago

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[–]Narit 30 points31 points ago

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I'm fairly certain he was just agreeing with him

[–]miladmaaan 132 points133 points ago

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Jesus christ i'm so high that i coughed up an about to be swallowed ball of broccoli beef and rice. jesus christ. that was hilarious. Lord.

[–]theruins 177 points178 points ago

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Does the average Wednesday night for you include getting high, surfing Reddit, and eating balls of broccoli beef and rice? Or is tonight a special occasion?

[–]hillbillypaladin 144 points145 points ago

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Those are perfectly acceptable things to do on a wednesday night!

[–]saybruh 78 points79 points ago

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I read his username as "the runs" and immediately thought he was biased against all broccoli beef because of an past incident.

[–]jesus_swept 18 points19 points ago

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Does your average encounter with broccoli beef and rice involve the runs? Good god man, I am so sorry. Truly you are missing out.

[–]hillbillypaladin 19 points20 points ago

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OH LORDY

[–]ttustudent 19 points20 points ago

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Mee-wow! Was pretty great too!

[–]Zissoo 112 points113 points ago

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INCORRECT. Your favorite animal is the cat.

I lost my shit.

[–]satirequagmire 483 points484 points ago

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Wow he fell for the jibberish-to-cancel thing everytime lol

[–]Luthos 153 points154 points ago

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I wonder if he copy/pasted or actually looked to type it completely correct each time.

[–]x-tophe 335 points336 points ago

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I'm hoping he typed it all out.

[–]fl0w3n 370 points371 points ago

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I actually looked and one of them he forgot a letter so im guessing he typed.

[–]GuffinMopes 587 points588 points ago

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Better than him typing it all out is you checking

[–]zab329 111 points112 points ago

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Standard Reddit.

[–]x-tophe 18 points19 points ago

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Haha, perfect! I keep thinking of all the times I've had to type out long and obnoxious wifi passwords. Screw missing a letter.

[–]makinganotheraccount 41 points42 points ago

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He typed it; you can tell because the first character is capitalized. That makes it all the better.

[–]tralfor 160 points161 points ago

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I kept reading "cat facts" in Charlie Day's voice.

[–]Forever_Trombone 99 points100 points ago

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"Cat stuck in the wall, eh? Ok, Now you're talking my language!"

[–]ohwudup 58 points59 points ago

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"I have fifty cats howling outside my window because I have ten thousand rats running around my building, Dee! OK?"

[–]jesus_swept 48 points49 points ago

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"There's some sort of weird chemical reaction that happens when you combine cat food, beer and glue. It makes you feel like, extremely sick and tired and you're able to fall asleep."

[–]cjcrashoveride 25 points26 points ago

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Kitten Mittens!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Mittons!

[–]wakinupdrunk 27 points28 points ago

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Does your cat make too much noise? Try Kitten Mittens!

[–]deweyhatesgrandpas 408 points409 points ago

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Mee-wow!

[–]JeanPaulTron 103 points104 points ago

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Easily the best part of this

[–]kukamunga 63 points64 points ago

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Definitely read that part in Dean Pelton's voice, lost my shit, then got sad that Community isn't on.

[–]livings124 34 points35 points ago

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Dean-yow! It's Feline AIDS Awareness Day, folks,. so let's whip it in the keister.

[–]Ramora 190 points191 points ago

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Please tell me there is a real cat facts SMS service.

[–]PotentChili 28 points29 points ago

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I was doing some searching and couldn't find any.. I think I found my next website idea!

[–]SpartaWillBurn 128 points129 points ago

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Forever Alone.

[–]the_real_dirty 42 points43 points ago

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[–]crznmnm 76 points77 points ago

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something tells me that he gets more pussy than you do.

[–]ajehals 64 points65 points ago

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My phone number is on the internet... No one sends me cat facts.

[–]-JuJu- 86 points87 points ago

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[–]theoneace 71 points72 points ago

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So did he learn his lesson about putting his number out on the internet?

[–]frackyou[S] 195 points196 points ago

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After I show him how many people on the internet are laughing at him, i think he will.

[–]Warriorlem 49 points50 points ago

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I think I'll try this on the next person I see posting their number.

[–]mafibasheth 736 points737 points ago

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Stop sending me these messages meow!!

[–]THANE_OF_ANN_ARBOR 338 points339 points ago

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I cat take this anymore!

[–]jellonalgene 212 points213 points ago

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that pun is apawing

[–]ThatGuyCB 41 points42 points ago

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I can't stop laughing.

[–]KamiRon 70 points71 points ago

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get this man to a doctor.

[–]AeBeeEll 157 points158 points ago

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It took me until the second column to figure out that you were the one sending the cat facts and that he had not accidentally subscribed to a real cat fact SMS service.

[–]Badymaru 77 points78 points ago

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It took me until I read the comments to figure that out.

[–]MisterRandom 28 points29 points ago

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Wait, what?

[–]LapisLightning 36 points37 points ago

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I wish this was an actual service.

[–]rnsyym 71 points72 points ago

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It is! Post your phone number here and I'll make sure you get signed up.

[–]ShiftyLookingTeen 5 points6 points ago

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If you really wanna do it, I can hook you up with a number.

[–]jordan314 7 points8 points ago

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Did you know that if you post your phone number on reddit it looks like this? (**) *-***

[–]HideousInfant 17 points18 points ago

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"furry love"

ಠ_ಠ

[–]happypolychaetes 46 points47 points ago

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HELLO YES THIS IS CAT

[–]YodaBrains187 25 points26 points ago

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I would respond with facts about human reproduction if i was subscribed to cat facts.

[–]clonethedodo 34 points35 points ago

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I might be drunk, but this is the text-based prank ever.

[–]chbay 14 points15 points ago

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I think you accidentally a word man.

Shit im so drunk

[–]TimMitchell 96 points97 points ago

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Are you Aziz Ansari?

[–]KilgoreTroutQQ 86 points87 points ago*

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FUCK YOU HARRIS! I DO EXIST!

Edit: *sp

[–]TriforceHunter 19 points20 points ago

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Kanye West stole that beat

[–]erkston 6 points7 points ago

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THAT SONG CAME OUT AFTERWARDDDDD!!

[–]PhoenixFoundation 32 points33 points ago

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This. Every single time I see "my little cousin" on Reddit, has to be Aziz.

[–]Cat_Facts 32 points33 points ago

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Did you know that cat ownership may improve psychological health by providing emotional support and dispelling feelings of depression, anxiety and loneliness?

[–]mdiggity 78 points79 points ago

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This seriously made me LOL. I don't usually type that, so this is a big deal.

[–]SeanStock 54 points55 points ago

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I also never type LOL yet LOLed. A++, would LOL again.

[–]squipped 10 points11 points ago

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man i was hoping cat facts was real! i want a daily cat fact! i'm probably [most likely] going to regret this HOWEVER - feel free to text me cool cat facts people! 713 384 5264

[–]little_boodah 7 points8 points ago

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There should be a subreddit for this.

[–]pyrojeff 43 points44 points ago

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TIL cats cover up their poop to cover their trails from predators

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]robreddity 26 points27 points ago

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Thanks. I just read this to my wife and she peed in her pants.

[–]PositivelyClueless 48 points49 points ago

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Call it squirting and post to /r/sex for free karma.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]