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all 75 comments

[–]vinnievon 8 points9 points ago

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Sounds like my ex girlfriend. Well, the first part I mean.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]phreshphruit 0 points1 point ago

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Tell that to Magic Johnson!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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I hate statements like that, because then you wind up with that one jackass who takes it to the level of pure egocentric nihilism.

No, do not fuck everybody.

Yes, you should care about what other people think about you within reason.

No, they aren't just haters.

Yes, you will get fired because you came into work 4 hours late without calling twice in one week because you were out partying.

[–]afrofuturist 1 point2 points ago

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So...

fuck everyone

be happy

don't be an idiot

[–]wappleby 13 points14 points ago

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Oh hello there Mr. Repost, fancy seeing you here!

[–]The_Real_Mr_Repost 16 points17 points ago

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Do I know you?

[–]Depressed_Downvoter 4 points5 points ago

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Nice, you made this 1 minute ago.

[–]1MinuteOldAccount 12 points13 points ago

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Me too!

[–]ComoSeYama -1 points0 points ago

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Me three!

[–]Daibuoxx 0 points1 point ago

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LIES.

[–]myrden 2 points3 points ago

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i just got the clap

[–]MalevolentOnez[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Upvotes for your gonorrhea good sir

[–]myrden -1 points0 points ago

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No, no gonorrhea, just chlamydia. I know it sucks, but i can't control what i get

[–]MalevolentOnez[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry to inform you, but the "clap" refers to Gonorrhea http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonorrhea citing my shit

[–]myrden -1 points0 points ago

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it also refers to chlamydia, and syphilis, which are both very similar to gonorrhea in the way they affect the body, and the word clap comes from chlamydia

[–]MalevolentOnez[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I call bull shit, where's your references?

[–]myrden -1 points0 points ago

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wikipedia, and oxford journal of medicine, maybe out of date by a couple of years but the information is still generally the same

[–]MalevolentOnez[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Links?

[–]myrden 0 points1 point ago

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my piece of shit computer only runs explorer, so sorry no links

[–]MalevolentOnez[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry, then I am going to have to assume that all of your previous statements are grade A bull shit

[–]GopherTrace 1 point2 points ago

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reminds me of the Onions article on the US AIDS awareness campaign in Ghana: "You all have AIDS" US says.

[–]whyismynameori 1 point2 points ago

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that's pretty accurate. i mean at the very least HPV.

[–]Always_Explains_Joke 1 point2 points ago

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It's funny because if you have sex with everyone you will contract all sorts of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

[–]raitis-paitis 4 points5 points ago

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[–]Dapwell 3 points4 points ago

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Fuck everyone and then repost.

[–]Duke_Of_Dust 2 points3 points ago

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And you'd be... tired.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck everyone and chances are your a pedophile. :/

[–]endo 3 points4 points ago

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And a bad speller.

[–]benc1213 0 points1 point ago

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[–]wfarrell14 4 points5 points ago

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They have invented these things called "condoms" which help prevent problems like these...

[–]Achalemoipas 11 points12 points ago

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Actually, if you fuck everyone you'll still get AIDS because of the defective rate of condoms.

[–]wfarrell14 2 points3 points ago

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But what are the odds that your condom will be defective the times you fuck people with AIDS?

[–]Achalemoipas 4 points5 points ago

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1.9% of condoms break:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8070546

There's 40 million people with aids:

http://www.avert.org/worlstatinfo.htm

That means your condom will break 760,000 times.

[–]Larillia 2 points3 points ago

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The odds of female to female sex resulting in transmitting HIV is exceedingly low, so you can roughly cut that in half. Further more, the odds of receptive vaginal intercourse resulting in the transmission of HIV is on the order of 0.1%. Additionally, I would exclude the 22% of the population under the age of 15 because, well, I am. Also taking into account the population that is incapable of participating in sex (chronic severe erectile dysfunction, persistent vegetative states, etc) you'd contract acute HIV infections maybe like...275 times if you did everyone once. That's not so bad, right?

[–]lafeeverte17 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, yeah, that leap from 14 to 15 in one day is such a large step in a young lady's life....ಠ_ಠ

[–]Larillia 0 points1 point ago

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And 15-16 is? Or 17-18?

Nah, but I picked that number because most demographics studies use 5 year ranges (0-4, 5-9, 10-14) so it seemed like the easiest number.

[–]Achalemoipas 0 points1 point ago

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You have an odd definition of "fucking people".

[–]Larillia 0 points1 point ago

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What's odd about it?

[–]wfarrell14 0 points1 point ago

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But there are 7 billion people in the world. You're condom has an equal chance of breaking with the non infected as well.

[–]Achalemoipas 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, but that doesn't matter when calculating the chances of getting AIDS.

[–]wfarrell14 0 points1 point ago

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Either way, I don't see either one of us being in a position to see if my theory, with a bit of luck, could work out.

[–]noumuon 0 points1 point ago

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no, that means you're expected to break 760,000 condoms.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You'll still get herpes. :/

[–]anubus72 2 points3 points ago

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and you still fucked everyone, which might be worth it. That means you fucked scarlett johannson

[–]WGAF_About_Karma 2 points3 points ago

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And Rosie O'Donnell.

[–]wfarrell14 1 point2 points ago

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And your mother....

[–]BizarroVapor -1 points0 points ago

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Wondered how long before someone stumbled upon the "Hillbilly Paradox"

[–]tom3r 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck everyone and be happy you'll probably get aids everyone will probably get aids

[–]PLJNS 0 points1 point ago

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And you will have cured AIDS and become a hero because you'll have fucked a rich person!

[–]acousticmind 1 point2 points ago

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Wrong. Fuck everybody and you'll probably get HIV which may develop into full-blown AIDS if you don't recourse to any medical treatment.

[–]AlbertSnow 0 points1 point ago

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The More You Know.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i have never seen this picture before ty for posting it

[–]fabiofzero 0 points1 point ago

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Condoms, ever heard?

[–]MalevolentOnez[S] -1 points0 points ago

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Condoms break and aren't 100% effective, ever heard?

[–]jesusfvck 0 points1 point ago

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No, you won't contract AIDS at all. You will get HIV. Think of AIDS as the stage 4 of cancers, still have HIV but now you are so weak all the opportunistic things come along and kick your ass.

[–]Farn 0 points1 point ago

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But then you get to say you've fucked everyone, and no one can prove you wrong because you've already fucked them.

[–]Magusreaver 0 points1 point ago

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Trent says :>I want to fuck everyone in the world. I want to do something that matters!

[–]BizarroVapor 0 points1 point ago

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I know a girl like that. Her trap was like a spoon stirring acid. Ya got done and it was burned and brittle to the touch, like ash...

[–]malmanddald 0 points1 point ago

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Yes. Yes you will

[–]KajiKaji 0 points1 point ago

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I tried to get the actual odds of contracting HIV if you slept with all 33 million people living with HIV with 1/500 chance of contracting the virus but Wolfram alpha told me to fuck off when I entered "1-(499/500)33000000"

[–]TimeSquander 0 points1 point ago

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Well yeah, if you fucked everyone... But statistically, you won't, especially if you use condoms.

[–]Wilburre 1 point2 points ago

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DM;HS

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]johnnyquest88 4 points5 points ago

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it said everyone... you would also be a pedo... and under the right interpretation, a necrophiliac... no thanks

[–]Surfacetovolume 2 points3 points ago

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That's the right interpretation? ಠ_ಠ

[–]nuclear_cheese 2 points3 points ago

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EVERYONE.

[–]cmw72 4 points5 points ago

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I totally read this comment as Gary Oldman's character in Léon.

[–]AlbertSnow 2 points3 points ago

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EEEVVVVEEERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYOOOOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!!!!

[–]lurkerturneduser 0 points1 point ago

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Your point? Since life begins at conception, I'll also have to fuck embryos.

[–]myrden 0 points1 point ago

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well as long as they died within the last five minutes it's ok cause there's no rigor mortis

[–]Trogdorocks 0 points1 point ago

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They hardly prevent you getting STD's. School are trying to inform younger generations about their defects.

[–]Aavagadrro -2 points-1 points ago

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Meh, I fucked lots and no AIDS.

[–]post_this_in_r_nigs -2 points-1 points ago

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you should post this in /r/niggers