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all 154 comments

[–]neanderthalman 92 points93 points ago

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Probably a phlebotomist's car.

This is pretty much standard humour for them.

[–]JoelQ 28 points29 points ago

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This reminds me of the Seinfeld where Kramer's license plate says, "ASSMAN" so he's able to park in the hospital's doctor-only parking deck. When the parking attendant confronts him, he simply points to his license plate and says, "Dr. Cosmo Kramer, Proctologist."

[–]Max_Quordlepleen 3 points4 points ago

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I'm not the Assman!

[–]wolfmann 5 points6 points ago

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I was about to say this... I found it funny that all they do is take people's blood, they don't run tests, they just stab people, collect blood, put it in vials, get paid big bucks (ok $30k average isn't so big, but it is a cushy job) to do so.

[–]devils0508 12 points13 points ago

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$30k is drastically underpaid, I thought they would get more.

[–]scsoc 2 points3 points ago

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My mom has been doing it for about 4 years with just a community college certification and she makes 38k.

[–]tgujay 9 points10 points ago

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my mom delivers mail and has for about 10 years, only high school education and makes 60k a year

[–]onedeviousbastard 2 points3 points ago

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Holy shit.

[–]mightystu 0 points1 point ago

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brb, becoming mail carrier.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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One of my friends did it for a couple years and was receiving about $24,000 though it was at a semi-rural hospital with a very low cost of living.

It's a pretty easy job to get into if you don't mind the work, though.

[–]KungFuHamster 9 points10 points ago

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It's definitely worth it. Ever have blood taken by someone who didn't know what they were doing? Blood everywhere, digging around with needles to find the vein, extensive bruising afterwards... it's not pretty.

[–]redworm 7 points8 points ago

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I still think this is a great way to employ reformed heroin junkies. They'll find a vein in seconds, in, out, sugar cookie, you're done.

[–]alphawolf29 2 points3 points ago

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and you can pay them the low low price of 20$ a day. Junkies will do anything for a 20.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Just hope they don't switch up the needles....

[–]rdiss 1 point2 points ago

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I have indeed endured such an experience. I was giving blood (Red Cross) and the idiot pushed the needle all the way through the vein on one arm. Several minutes after realizing his mistake, he tried the other arm. WITH THE EXACT SAME RESULTS.

I could barely move my arms, and later realized I had enormous bruises pretty much from my shoulders to my wrists. That was 30 years ago.

[–]hellweaver666 1 point2 points ago

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You mean Doctors? I've never seen a doctor that can take blood properly.

[–]wolfmann 0 points1 point ago

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yes, but a nurse should be trained on this as well. I mean don't nurses start IV's? that's almost the same thing, usually a smaller target as well!

[–]scsoc 6 points7 points ago

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It makes sense from a budget standpoint to have a specialist in that area so that you don't have to pay a nurse's much higher wage to do it. I mean, doctors can probably work a mop, but if hospitals didn't employ janitors, Scrubs wouldn't have been a very funny show.

[–]Epoh 1 point2 points ago

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please, dont make my fear worse then it already is.

[–]everbeard 4 points5 points ago

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Nurses miss a lot and since veins are so small, sometimes the needle goes clean through them.

[–]Epoh 0 points1 point ago

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Not helping.....

[–]PizzaGood 1 point2 points ago

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Blood draw needles are much bigger than average needles and therefore harder to insert and more likely to skip off the vein. Also when, like me, you're on about your 80th or so donation, you build up a lot of scar tissue over the veins. I really, REALLY appreciate a nurse who knows what she's doing. I've had a few that went on search and destroy missions on my arm, and it's not fun. I think it is at least a more refined skill than hitting the average person's vein with an IV needle.

[–]5adisticP3N9U1N5 0 points1 point ago

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sounds like you shouldn't donate too much if you are damaging your veins?? I wouldn't know because they always say my veins too small :( smaller than the needle......

[–]PizzaGood 0 points1 point ago

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You damage every part of your body every moment by being alive. Gotta live with it. The scar tissue isn't bothering anything. I can't even tell it's there normally, it's just hard to penetrate with a needle. I suppose if it ever gets too bad, after 100 units or so, I could have them switch to the other arm for a decade or two.

[–]elohvey 0 points1 point ago

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once got stuck 8 times by a nurse trying to start an IV for me, before they had to have an anesthesiologist come in and get it on the first try. no fun.

[–]username1414 0 points1 point ago

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This picture was clearly taken in Australia. 30k is well below minimum wage for a full time adult.

[–]alphawolf29 0 points1 point ago

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the minimum wage in Australia is insane. Where I live in Canada, and it's also expensive to live, minimum wage is 10$ an hour. It's very hard to live on 10$ an hour. It's basically subsistence living.

[–]ForgettableUsername -4 points-3 points ago

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Is that in Australian dollars or in real money?

[–]splinter701 2 points3 points ago

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Check the value of the Aussie dollar sometime ...

[–]ForgettableUsername -1 points0 points ago

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Not even 1 Euro...

[–]Jadow 0 points1 point ago

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Full time plebies get between 45-60k depending on years of service etc. my ex used to be one. That was at s&n though. Not sure of others.

[–]Upcakes 2 points3 points ago

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As a phlebotomist I get so tired of every person who walks in announcing, "I'm here to see the daytime vampire!"

[–]SubtleKnife 2 points3 points ago

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This never occurred to me. Congrats, you have compounded the problem.

[–]Abezilla116 1 point2 points ago

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"The Blood Drive is a pyramid scheme perpetrated by Dracula and his night slaves." -Master Shake

[–]hellweaver666 1 point2 points ago

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My sister-in-law is a phlebotomist. I taught my son to call her 'auntie vampire'

[–]LiquidSnape 0 points1 point ago

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Dr. Acula's car probably

[–]Outvalid 14 points15 points ago

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In norwegian that is the correct way to spell vampire.

[–]Mohimba 7 points8 points ago

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well in Swedish too

[–]Chetic 3 points4 points ago

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Especially in Swedish.

[–]ForgettableUsername -4 points-3 points ago

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Nobody cares about the Swedes. We always think of Norway first.

[–]geusebio 4 points5 points ago

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Nope, forget Norway. Kenya.

[–]ForgettableUsername 2 points3 points ago

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Kenya doesn't have fjords.

[–]Lidodido 0 points1 point ago

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Or senapssill.

[–]geusebio 0 points1 point ago

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Norway doesn't have lions and tigers. Kenyaaaaa! Oh kenyaaaaaa...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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and in denmark aswell

[–]kambo_rambo 0 points1 point ago

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picture is in Australia.

[–]ImaginationStation 26 points27 points ago

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If the circles weren't there, I wouldn't never figured it out.

[–]not_a_wolf 8 points9 points ago

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Me neither. I just saw the Australian part and thought the withdrawal joke was because Australia is upside down so they can only withdraw blood due to gravity or something.

[–]salsa_de_tomate 1 point2 points ago

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That's exactly what I thought.

[–]bram_stokers_acura 2 points3 points ago

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I'm waiting for vlad_the_impala to make an appearance on this thread.

[–]geusebio 4 points5 points ago

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Is this Vlad?

[–]Bidonet 0 points1 point ago

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Let me doubt OP's circling skills though

[–]ManOfStealthAndTaste 3 points4 points ago

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"Ewww, it's all clammy and tomato-ey"

[–]KungFuHamster 4 points5 points ago

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Clamato?

[–]pipsqeek 2 points3 points ago

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I suddenly vomited a little. But it's okay because dinner was awesome.

[–]ForgettableUsername 1 point2 points ago

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Tomacco?

[–]KungFuHamster 0 points1 point ago

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Mmmm, disgusting, yet addictive...

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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You Aussies get all the best Ford/GM cars. I love the new Falcons...

[–]king_of_bfe 3 points4 points ago

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I know, why can't we get that falcon, its badass

[–]Willis_McGillis 0 points1 point ago

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I used to own one of those Falcons, incredible cars for the price you pay. the turbo'd version was even better! When the first made them the turbo six cylinder was putting out more power (KW) at 280 than the V8 Version 260kw. they had to tune them back to 240 to make the sales for the V8. On a side note the BA Falcon (2003 - 2005) had the greatest mistake ever for a car. The V8 was too big for the engine bay and the bonnet wouldnt close, so they developed: the buldge

And then there was this:My favorite commercial

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That commercial is fantastic.

[–]fantasticsid 1 point2 points ago

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Not for long. As I understand things, the Geelong engine plant is going to be shut by 2016 at which point the Falcons are going to adopt a crate engine V6. Probably sidemounted, too.

[–]SureWeighsALot 1 point2 points ago

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At least we had a short stint of the Pontiac G8

[–]razrblde 0 points1 point ago

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Do you guys at least get the Clubsports over there?

[–]Iamgoingtooffendyou 1 point2 points ago

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He probably works there.

[–]helllomoto 1 point2 points ago

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I'm too thin to donate blood. Not sure if feels bad. :(

[–]SoFuckingObvious 1 point2 points ago

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looks like that vampire is going to drink some blood!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Advantage to being a vampire in Australia: you can sleep hanging right-side up.

[–]Hobgobbe 1 point2 points ago

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This totally supports my (conspiracy) theory that if there were, in fact, vampires in the world, they would all be working in various bloodbanks. Scratch that. They would all own most of the bloodbanks in the world. I first came to this conclusion right after 9/11. About the same time the Red Cross started asking people to donate blood... despite there being so few survivors. Suspicious? I certainly thought so.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG!!!

My sister had this on her facebook page. Never in my entire internet life has she ever posted a picture on the internet that I hadn't seen month's to years beforehand.

Something seriously bad is going to happen on this planet in the next 48 hours, This timeline has to correct itself. And we all know that a timeline correction spells disaster.

Be Safe everybody.

Smoop.

[–]GrumpyBumface 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you for the John Madden style circles.

[–]Raeki 1 point2 points ago

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INTERESTING JUXTAPOSITION

[–]Nukeman 0 points1 point ago

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You just watched Clerks.

[–]12mholmes 1 point2 points ago

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-I am Vlad, not a Vampire

[–]CunningLanguageUser 2 points3 points ago

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Ever played Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines?

If you're desperate (or just overflowing with cash) and short of hookers to prey on, you can pay the guy at the blood bank for some nice, fresh blood bags, no questions asked.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Osthato 2 points3 points ago

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Wait, people get paid to give blood?

[–]alpacaBread 3 points4 points ago

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You only get paid when you donate plasma. I believe its like $40 per donation, and you can do it once every three days.

[–]Osthato 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, that's a lot for a simple procedure like that.

I'm assuming it's just like giving blood?

[–]alpacaBread 0 points1 point ago

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Surprising not many people do it, that's why they have to pay so much. Plasma is really important for like burn victims. It's just like giving blood, but they put all the blood cells back into you so you don't get that weak feeling after one donates blood.

[–]mswete 1 point2 points ago

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Whenever someone donates blood, it's separated into packed red blood cells and plasma, so plasmapheresis generally isn't necessary since blood banks have so much plasma in their freezers already. These plasma banks that pay use the plasma to make medications for people with blood disorders such as hemophilia.

[–]redworm 0 points1 point ago

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Blood comes out, goes into a machine to get separated, cells and saline go back in. It's a simple procedure but you're taking about two hours to do it.

[–]Osthato 0 points1 point ago

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Ah. I've done the opposite -- "Power Red" is what they call it -- where the blood goes out and then I get plasma back.

[–]alphawolf29 0 points1 point ago

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I wish this happened in canada. 400$ a month would pay my rent.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kimedog 1 point2 points ago

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I don't get paid. All I ever get are some cookies/juice with the occasional t-shirt and prize when I build up enough points.

[–]Osthato 1 point2 points ago

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I never got paid...

Of course, I only donated at school blood drives, so maybe that's it.

[–]redworm 2 points3 points ago

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Most of our blood and plasma is donated as well. There are some companies that pay for it but it's because they keep the blood for their own stock to sell whereas the red cross and lifesource and most other companies use the blood when it's necessary and give it to hospitals. Basically, if you donate blood then someone will get it for free, if you get paid to give blood then someone will have to pay to receive it.

[–]mswete 2 points3 points ago

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Noooo, Red Cross does not give blood. I work in a hospital blood bank and we pay around $250 for a bag of packed red blood cells, so the patients will be paying us back.

[–]redworm 0 points1 point ago

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I sit corrected. I thought during natural disasters and other such events the blood was given freely.

[–]mswete 1 point2 points ago

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In that case I would imagine they give it away freely, but in normal day-to-day operations, blood is purchased.

[–]redworm 0 points1 point ago

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TIL :)

[–]Fartmatic 0 points1 point ago

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I do, my company sends groups of whoever wants to donate off to do it every couple months :D Beats working anyway.

[–]PsychoNerd91 0 points1 point ago

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Does this mean it's a shop-front for an underground vampire cult?

[–]mirk1 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]triad203 0 points1 point ago

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I guarantee that person works there.

[–]Dapwell 0 points1 point ago

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Australian Twilight?

[–]Benjyman 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Petah19 0 points1 point ago

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Do something special. Give Take blood.

[–]hell_crawler 0 points1 point ago

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Lol. This is the one beside dominos shop..

[–]Quatroking 0 points1 point ago

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"No, we don't accept payment in sparkly vampire books."

[–]finest_jellybean 0 points1 point ago

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The movie Blade made me afraid to donate blood for awhile for this very reason.

[–]Kasuli 0 points1 point ago

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Every time I see this, I just can't help but think of Mitch Hedberg's "Dr. Acula"-joke.

[–]EffYourCouch 0 points1 point ago

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If you look close, you can see not 1 but two red, "circle like" marks in the picture.

[–]therealjag 0 points1 point ago

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That bloody vampire must be loaded to afford a car like that.

[–]SexWaffles 0 points1 point ago

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Wtf is a "blood service"? Sounds like something your doctor would do for you... If he worked at Jiffy Lube.

[–]HenkieH 0 points1 point ago

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I tried to donate blood the other day but they asked me too many questions where I got it.

[–]bolanzo14 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks. I wasn't sure what to look for til I saw that awkward red circle.

[–]Twisty_Tie 0 points1 point ago

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Rare example of how a title can actually add to a post. Well done.

[–]muzzman32 0 points1 point ago

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hey where in Melbourne is this?? Is this Airport West by any chance?

[–]anonoman925 0 points1 point ago

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I get called twice a week by the local blood bank. That's their caller ID on my cell.

[–]Vempyre 0 points1 point ago

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GASP my long lost twin brother

[–]Fuzzy_Mittens 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe he's making a donation from his vast supply.

[–]Ayakalam 0 points1 point ago

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Serious comment - perhaps you should try www.udacity.com

[–]Sam_Coleridge[!] 0 points1 point ago

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everybody knows that blood banks are just a conspiracy for the dracula's to collect our blood without having to do all the breaking and entering.

[–]Cory1750 0 points1 point ago

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I feel pretty awesome for knowing what country this was by looking at what kind of car that was. So jealous as an American that we don't get those fords.

[–]Bluethunder1 0 points1 point ago

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what kind of car is it good sir?

[–]Cory1750 0 points1 point ago

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It's a Falcon. I don't know much about them, just that they come with a V8 package, they are only in Australia as far as I know, and there is a race version for the V8 supercars where the fans are extremely passionate and hate each other if other fans like the GM cars instead and vice versa. Other than that I have no idea.

[–]onefunkynote 0 points1 point ago

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You should come see how passionate we really are at /r/V8Supercars

[–]IAmAtomato 0 points1 point ago

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This reminds me of that one episode of Night Gallery...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Dirrwen 0 points1 point ago

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With- draw- llllllll

[–]morr1321 0 points1 point ago

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Do not go see Dr. Acula.

[–]thejawshoflife 0 points1 point ago

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When you get blood taken is it possible to get an extra vial "to go"? In case you want to use it for something?

[–]stormyzim 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe this is a common hangout for those of his kind, per se.

[–]TheHal85 0 points1 point ago

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There was a great Tales from the Crypt episode where a Vampire was the night security guard at a Blood bank...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks so much for the very helpful huge red circles you truly know your audience.

[–]LtDan8909 0 points1 point ago

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I just graduated last March with a Phlebotomy certificate and I have been working at a local hospital for the past seven months. The "vampire" joke is an everyday thing for me, especially from older people. It goes like this: "Hey, my name is Daniel. I have to get some blood from you." and then the patient would say "Oh, you're the vampire?" Yes, goddamn it, I'm the vampire. That joke was funny when I was doing my clinicals but now its fucking annoying. Its the worst possible icebreaker for small talk.

As for the "big bucks" I make, the workload and the payoff don't exactly break even. I work in a struggling public hospital and there is still a lot of work to consider. You have to consider the TAT (turn-around times) which mean that the blood has to be collected 15 minutes after its ordered. Sometimes, thats almost impossible. If a patient has terrible veins or is in X-ray and we spend longer than 15 minutes in there, it comes back on us. Also, veins vary from person to person. I really get frustrated and insulted when somebody thinks that I can't do my job because I didn't hit the vein the first time. Its not as easy as it sounds, depending on how dehydrated you are, It may take me four tries to get blood. Maybe I should do an AMA.

[–]kamjamm 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking Twilight.

[–]rfp_drew 0 points1 point ago

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Angel?

[–]graffiti81 0 points1 point ago

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Blood banks are an evil pyramid scheme perpetrated by Dracula and his night slaves.

[–]glitchbitch 0 points1 point ago

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I remember back in the good ol' days we'd compete with other high schools to win the vampire shield for donating the most blood at the red cross blood service!

[–]omplatt 0 points1 point ago

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"I vood like to make a vithdravel please"

FTFY

[–]rozonkomo 0 points1 point ago

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Repost. Adding some MS Paint circles does not make this creative or better.

[–]RAAM_n_Noodles 0 points1 point ago

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Hmmm, classic Bugs Bunny cartoon reference? :fuckyea:

[–]fantasticsid 0 points1 point ago

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Little known fact about Sydney #368: all the vampires drive Ford Falcons.

[–]THECapedCaper -1 points0 points ago

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If its Australian, I wonder of their vampires sparkle eucalyptus...

[–]deconduo -1 points0 points ago

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Hey, better they drink donated blood rather than going on killing sprees.

[–]skippy619 -1 points0 points ago

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They still don't deliver?

[–]Sladderman -1 points0 points ago

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It's spelled wrng

[–]SucculentSoap -1 points0 points ago

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It does suck driving a Ford.

[–]ab103630 -1 points0 points ago

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Nah it's a trap for Edward Cullin

[–]manfrom4Chan -3 points-2 points ago

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Whatta fag!

[–]whatever_my_name_is -1 points0 points ago

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REPOST!