this post was submitted on
501 points (54% like it)
2,897 up votes 2,396 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,526,352 readers

8,009 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

500
501

Cats vs. Dogs (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by manateeFPH

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on
all 167 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]L-J-N 75 points76 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If only either of them could be trained to detect reposts

[–]MrMono1 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh my god! It's even a higher resolution!

[–]blast4past -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know, we had to first learn how to detect cancer before realising they could, but many people can't recognise reports yet, so we may never know

[–]Siethron 88 points89 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

cat can detect cancer too, they just don't give a shit.

[–]bestbeforeMar91 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Perhaps it is worse than that...http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8664249/Cat-parasite-linked-to-brain-cancer.html

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Isn't that how Tommy died in Trainspotting?

[–]BryanMcgee 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In the movie maybe. In the book it's Rents' brother who died and then after the funeral Rents fucks his dead brother's pregnant wife in the bathroom. He wanted to fuck her in the ass, but it was purely for the baby's sake. He didn't want to keep stabbing the fetus with his cock over and over again. Plus, the book explains what trainspotting is. the movie doesn't even say the word.

[–]liberaljesus 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wasn't cancer though.

[–]loondawg 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Toxoplasmosis

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can fly, I just don't give a shit.

[–]Marashio 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat and dog detected cancer in my late mothers face. They would constantly nudge the same mole/area and paw at it until finally she went and got it checked. She died from something non-cancer related.

[–]s34nsm411 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

im no expert but im fairly certain that was a coincidence, the animals need to be trained to react to the scent

[–]lordcat -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, the animals need to be trained to consistently give the same signals to the humans around them so the humans understand what the animals have found.

The animals react on their own; it's the humans that are too stupid to catch the signals.

[–]s34nsm411 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yes, and clearly his dog and cat were not trained to consistently give the same signals when they smell cancer so I would take this bit of evidence: "They would constantly nudge the same mole/area and paw" with a grain of salt

and to say that both his dog and CAT detected cancer with 100% certainty on somebodys FACE is pretty fucking ridiculous, Ive had dogs as pets before and they generally try to be affectionate and lick your face... obviously I must have face cancer

[–]lordcat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

obviously I must have face cancer

better get that checked out before it's too late...

[–]Marashio 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well my mom believed it and it made her happy. I mean they would be pretty unrelenting on the nudging of that one spot. It was a bit different than normal affection.

[–]andyface -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

but if they did, they'd do it in a box

[–]pelanderfunk 95 points96 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat knows how to shit in a box. Is your dog trained to detect cancer?

[–]akula 33 points34 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And if my dog ever shit in a box I would drive it down to the pound. He shits outside where it doesn't stink up the house.

[–]Perseus109 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ever dog I have had, eats the cat poop from the box. Lol

[–]akula 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The smell must bother them so much they are willing to take drastic measures to get rid of it.

[–]pelanderfunk 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love dogs as much as I love cats, but cleanliness and ease of maintenance is not their strong suit.

[–]Divided85 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat goes outside and shits without me. He then cleans himself up. Then he comes inside to warm me up during cold winter nights. Your dog barks his ass off for you to take him outside in the blistering cold for him to take a shit that you have to pick up in a plastic bag and then carry for him to the nearest trashcan. But yeah. Dogs are really smart and friendly, it's their owners that are stupid :)

[–]Limitedcomments 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yea, well, my dog can use the toilet! fucking check mate!

[–]Oldburnsides 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

http://www.citikitty.com/

[–]clp321 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was like a drawn out game of chess where all that's left is two pawns and a king on each side. You think you got the other person in check mate and the more experienced player points out to you that, actually, his pawn can move into a position that puts your king in check mate so you end up a draw....

[–]heavensclowd 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've known just as many cats to wander through the house at 2 am meowing very loudly. Unlike a dog, however, when you get up they don't let you know what they want.

Oh, you came out here? Here, I'll walk around your feet and shut up. Go back to bed though and I'll start up again!

[–]nox_fox 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So... you enjoy taking him outside at 11pm on a dark night when the sleet is pounding down and the wind whips your bathrobe around your bare ankles? I'm just stoop and scope the kitty litter during the commercial break.

[–]potent_potatoes 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because dog owners all accompany their pet to the backyard, while wearing a bathrobe, as they stare like a crazy person at their dog while it shits.

I cannot think of any other way.

[–]nuclear_cheese 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

nope

[–]Pickled_Pankake 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Almost all of the cats I've had never used a litter box, and would just leave the house themselves to take a dump outside somewhere.

[–]heavensclowd -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ALL the dogs I've ever had walked out the doggie door and took a shit out side.

[–]Derporelli 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Side note: I wonder if cats only being associated with humans for around 9,000 years and dogs for over 15,000 years has something to do with the ease of training a dog vs. a cat. I love both equally, but it's fairly obvious that dogs understand humans better than cats.

[–]heavensclowd 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think the domesticated dog also has a much stronger pack mentality than the domesticated cat.

[–]dainethemain 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

oh look..

[–]the-false-name 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cats don't need to be trained

[–]Darkfire359 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This needs to make it to the top.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]CrossCheckPanda 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My dog eats my cat's shit. Its all in a box, so its easy to find.

[–]xrisnothing 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dogs are already recycling. Cats really need to keep up.

[–]StupidButHonest 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My neighbor's dog ate their child's diaper because it wanted the poop, then choked to death on the diaper. Meanwhile, my cat keeps piling up dead birds and mice in his little corner of the garden, where he also likes to shit. I get pumpkins so big I wear them as masks come Halloween.

[–]jimkelly 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if i was contemplating between getting a cat and a dog this picture would definitely make me go with a cat.

[–]kikm 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A dog's love is like a stripper's: a mixture of stupidity and necessity

You have to earn a cat's love

[–]Perseus109 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can I up vote this twice?

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually, cats can also detect fatal problems in people. There's a cat in a certain hospital that goes into people's rooms when they're going to die that night. A "cat of ill omen", if you will.

[–]evelution 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The cat is actually thinking "OK it's dead now, can I eat it?"

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually, it gets there a little before they die, so it can see the "oh shit" face before they do. Weird little thing.

[–]puravida1024 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was an episode of house. That was really just trying to get warm. I forgot how dead people = warm but hey, it's TV.

[–]LNMagic 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Won't stop barking at the doorbell vs. Knows when to shut the fuck up.

[–]donpapillon 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My dog is my doorbell, he only barks when there's people in front of the house. Only then, and no other time, and he stops immediately after I say "stop". I haven't thought him this.

You work with dogs, not for them.

[–]LNMagic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Then you've given your dogs a lot more discipline than some of my friends. Well done!

I don't really hate dogs, but this seemed like the right place for a little teasing.

[–]donpapillon 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

True, true... The only thing you have to teach them is respect. I read some books about it when he was a puppy and tried to establish that he doesn't own the house. The rest comes pretty smoothly after that.

And you're right, a little dogs vs. cats fight is always fun. I personally love both for different reasons.

[–]skywalker777 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

vs couldn't make a threatening sound if it wanted to. FTFY

[–]Cactusy 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Have you ever heard two cats fight? Sounds like hell

[–]ncocca 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if you don't think a hiss is threatening, you've never been bitten or scratched by a cat

[–]skywalker777 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if you DO think a cat hiss is threatening or that a cat scratch or bite is anything more than a minor annoyance, then you have set the bar ridiculously low for what "threatening" means.

[–]TheGazelle 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

... Have you ever seen a truly angry cat that still had it's full claws and wasn't used to people? They will seriously fuck your shit up. There's a reason much bigger animals will run away from a pissed off cat, they're fast enough to avoid getting grabbed and have the weapons to seriously tear shit up.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

... Have you even seen a truly angry dog? Pitbulls can do a bit more damage than the average house pet feline.

[–]TheGazelle -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is that relevant? I never said anything about how much damage a dog could or couldn't do. skywalker777 apparently doesn't seem to think that cats can do much of anything, and he's dead wrong about that.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Almost any animal the size of a cat can do a good amount of damage. I'm not afraid of cats, but that's probably because I grew up around a very vicious one that my grandparents owned. It would bite and it cut me open a few times, but couldn't do nearly as much damage as a fisher or a raccoon. Their physical abilities aren't anything special as far as destruction goes.

EDIT: Downvotes won't change anything, but I'd be welcome to hearing a rebuttal.

[–]TheGazelle 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Downvotes won't change anything, but I'd be welcome to hearing a rebuttal.

I didn't downvote you, though I understand the presumption.

Either way, I really don't know what you're arguing about. As I said before, skywalker777 seemed to be under the impression that cats were little more than harmless little fuzzballs. Never, at any point, have I claimed that cats are particularly more dangerous than anything else, I simply stated that a pissed off cat that still has it's claws can be a fair bit more than a "minor annoyance", as he put it, should it decide to do more than give you a little warning swipe.

You are right now, quite literally, arguing with me, against a statement I did not make. You placed that statement in my mouth yourself, and now you're trying to get me to rebutt your argument against something I never said... I'm not going to do that because I haven't disagreed with anything you've said at any point and I'm rather baffled at why you're being so combattive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What i'm saying is that they are nothing more than a minor annoyance, because they aren't. A few bad cuts and bites? Not something to worry about.

[–]RoboticOverlord 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've had my hand sliced open by a cat scratch... Cat claws are severely sharper than dogs claws or teeth. Cat teeth are sharper as well.

[–]dinosaurish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cat bites can kill you really fucking quickly, actually.

[–]hyperstellardreams 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

considering my friend had to go to the emergency room and almost died of blood loss from his throat when he cornered a cat he didn't know

[–]mkvgtired -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like cats and dogs. Tend to be more of a dog person since I'm very allergic to cats, and don't condone animal cruelty. But seems like a human should be able to beat a house cat in a fight any day of the week

[–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Try to catch a cat that wants you dead. My cat was hard enough to hold on to when I found out he is terrified of big red balloons. He sliced up my hands and arms and got away.

[–]mkvgtired -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Try to catch a cat that wants you dead.

Why would you want to catch it? I would not want to antagonize something that wanted me dead, but if it attacks me its a different story.

You're talking about your cat, so you really dont want to hurt it. If a cat wanted to kill me Id grab a plate or any object around me. I've never been in that situation. I have had my friend's mom's cat latch onto my arm with his claws and teeth (he just got over fighting with a cat through the window, that cat left and I went to pet him to calm him down and he freaked out).

Like I said I am very against animal abuse, but where he latched onto my arm blood was pouring out. So I took my open hand and kept hitting his face until he let go. And I had an interest in not hurting him. If he was trying to kill me I would have cracked the back of his head on the coffee table while he was latched onto my arm. I have no doubt I would have done this because I almost did until I realized it would have killed him. But that was my original instinct.

[–]hyperstellardreams 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dude if cats really think you are of danger, like if you beat it, it will be faster and more deadly than you, you could never catch a cat running from you, and they could easily find a way around your weapon to pounce and slice your neck wide open and you will die. Even if dogs are bigger, they aren't as smart as cats, or vicious if provoked. The main killer of house cats are fisher cats, you know why, because other than coyotes and fucking gigantic vicious bloodhounds or something cats can kill most animals like i think foxes, not completely sure, but they kill raccoons, which are bigger. Also like weasels and shit. Cats are born to be very good at protecting themselves. Do not try to kill a cat without a gun or a giant baseball bat that'll kill em on one hit or your gonna get fucked up

[–]ncocca -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't usually put myself in life-threatening situations

[–]LNMagic 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Versus thinks a television's doorbell is an intruder.

[–]zxcv73 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and thinks dogs on the tv are real, and must bark back!

[–]hyperstellardreams 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

go on, pet it, i dare ya

[–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat growls like a dog.

[–]thisguy9 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dogs can be too, my gf's dog has a bell that she rings when she wants to go outside and if they're too lazy to open the door they tell her to go to her box and she obeys

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]thisguy9 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

precisely

[–]hyperstellardreams 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and cats are born with the skill to both detect cancer, and shit in a box, so check and mate my friend

[–]heavensclowd 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dogs are born with the skill to detect cancer too. But they are far easier to train to do something (bark or whatever) when they detect it.

[–]hyperstellardreams 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But the cats detected it with no training at all, even if isn't as pronounced. If they trained cats they could easily do it too i bet.

[–]heavensclowd 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The point is both can detect it without training. There have been plenty of stories (I've certainly heard more) of untrained dogs (often basset hounds or other notorious good smellers) doing strange things when their owner has cancer. The point is dogs are selected to do the detecting over cats because they are much, much, much easier to train.

[–]hyperstellardreams 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bottom line, dogs are stupider than cats, there's no denying it. Maybe cats are less active and social but dogs are very stupid animals.

[–]heavensclowd 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Huffpo article citing Oxford studies indicating dogs are smarter than cats.

Blog/Article written by Ph.D psychology professor at the University of British Columbia.

Also, typically social animals are more intelligent than non-social animals. Anyways, clearly there is plenty of "denying it", no matter how smart you think your cat is.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]hyperstellardreams 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

maybe the dog found wherever the cancer was on the person more comfortable than any other options? And cats don't go to that part of your body basically ever, so doing it frequently as a coincidence would be basically impossible

[–]fanboat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My mom made the mistake of teaching her dog to ring a bell when she wants to go outside. I bet that dog's ringing the bell right now.

[–]ytisoiruc 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yea, they quickly realize that whenever they want to go out, they can just ring that little fucker and a human will open the door. Soon it's ringing off the hook, all-fucking-day-long.

[–]littletortillaboy 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This again?

You left out the next part about the cancer sniffing dog eating the cat shit covered in litter. I mean maybe the cat shit smells like a big juicy steak to the dog but eating a big juicy steak covered in ground up stones and baking powder sounds like something a retard would do. Source is my dog eats cat shit all the time out of the litter box if I don't clean it out.

Dogs and cats are both good. End of story.

[–]FalconTheory 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ITT: people arguing about retarded topic. Congratulation to you.

[–]Bustrantor 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't get why people get so up in arms about cats vs. dogs. Who gives a fuck. It's about the companionship between the owner and the animal, and people liking and disliking your "preferred" species has zero effect on your enjoyment with your pet. This is a conversation kids in first grade have. Also, repost.

[–]agore30 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can poop in a box and keeps spiders, mice, and other pests from calling your house home.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But, dogs can catch bad guys, and will come when you call them, and can play fetch, and can be tossed around and enjoy it, and sniff out drugs, and can slobber all over you, but you don't care since it was an act of love! I like dogs, cats are okay, but I prefer dogs. But cats are also okay, but dogs are better, but that's my own opinion.

[–]agore30 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat plays fetch, comes when I call her, and let's me use her as a pillow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think you might not know the difference between a cat and a dog...

Seriously though, it's a general statement, dogs are known to play fetch and come when their name is called, most cats won't and can't do that, my cat can't.

[–]agore30 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, I feel like I have a bond with my cat because I helped deliver her because of complications. Deep inside me, I want it to be the reason she responds to my calls and things. : / I could just be full of shit though.

[–]awesomechemist 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh really? It must be so awesome to own a dog that can detect cancer in humans. How much cancer has your dog detected? I bet he's really useful.

[–]ColonelFuckface 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat doesn't want to be walked at the beginning of the fourth quarter when it's 12 degrees out.

[–]bronyness 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dog: Wake up 5 am in the fucking rain to let it piss Cat: I ain't a baby

[–]BenThrew 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dogs have to be trained to detect cancer and alert you of it, whereas cats shit in a box without training at all.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What? I had to train my kitten to shit in a box, and at least dogs have the potential to learn to detect cancer.

[–]zxcv73 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I will say cats aren't better, when my neighbors cat wakes me up at 3 a.m. with a constant yipping sound that penetrates the best ear plugs. Seriously dogs would be great if they would just shut the fuck up.

[–]evelution 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A well trained, intelligent dog will shut up on command, and remain silent at all times, unless there is a potential threat. (such as a pizza delivery guy)

[–]zxcv73 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yea, you know how much training that takes. I work with a dog trainer that is really good, his dogs are great. But it takes about 6 weeks for new dogs, and constant discipline after by the owner for a dog to learn to shut up. Not to mention the couple grand he charges. My cat knew how to shut up by instinct, no money or time for training needed. And how many neighbors do you have with well trained dogs? I have 0.

[–]evelution 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My brothers labrador is trained well enough to know that barking inside the house is not allowed. So when he let a little bark slip out because there was a barking dog on tv, he yelped, then took himself outside. No one tried to discipline him at all, and then he disciplined himself.

[–]zxcv73 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yep, Labs are my favorite dog. They are very smart. To bad most other breads aren't like them.

[–]therumbox[!] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cats don't give a fuck. And yet people still worship them. I think cats have maximized output for minimal input.

[–]Valek27 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Racist.

[–]shitterplug 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can poop in box

Shits all over my yard

[–]Gramma42ton 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This debate is retarded. Cut it out

[–]MufasaJesus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cat's can go and shit by themselves.

[–]dudechris88 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you think dog owners hold their paw and help them wipe up after or something?

[–]MufasaJesus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes?

[–]Rasuian 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Someone insulting a cat on reddit? Wow.

[–]jadebcmt 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cats can look fucking cute.

[–]sherponie 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and dogs cant?

[–]jadebcmt 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They both can be adorable. It depends on your preference of the animal in general. Apparently, you're more of a dog person, while I am fond of cats.

[–]Monkeyb1z 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Random Question: If you copy/paste that image into an email without linking to the original site, is that a micro-violation of the principles behind SOPA?

[–]iownachalkboard7 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Your argument is invalid because cats.

[–]Battlesheep 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

YOU LIKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHAT I LIKE, THEREFORE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

[–]kdoan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That looks exactly like my dog...

[–]m4tthew 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

To be fair, even I can poop in a box if I wanted.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My cat can also clean your cat's butt.

[–]Ruxini 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh they know... But they are.. Cats. They don't give a shit.

[–]puravida1024 0 points1 point ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've never met a cat that I liked more than I liked a dog. Dogs are more fun, loveable, and loyal. I don't care about cancer, or brilliance, I just want a pet.

[–]snoopycool 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes, cat owners.

[–]xDrSchnugglesx 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There are some cats who cannot die because of gravity. No dog can do that. CATS CAN DO PARKOUR. HARDKOUR CATS.

[–]CrossCheckPanda 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cats can actually be trained to poop in the toilet with a little work.

[–]giroml 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I trust that the most intelligent animal doesn't willingly submit to its masters whims of detecting cancer?

[–]Rantipole 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's the cat who can predict death.

[–]NoCowLevel 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I CAN PREDICT DEATH: EVERYONE WILL DIE EVENTUALLY.

[–]Heroshade 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Also, dogs eat people who try to hurt you.

[–]yabacam 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

mighty brave of you to post this.. with so many cat lovers on this site you are bound for a fight.

[–]evelution 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There is scientific evidence dogs are smarter than cats.

[–]phreeck -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because everyone puts their animals through IQ tests before taking them as pets.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How about this proposition:

Dogs have and will forever be more valuable to civilization, protecting crops, farming animals, police assistance, bomb and substance sniffing, tracking etc.

Being able to easily train another creature to do such amazing tasks for us who are biologically hardwired to like us is something that dogs will have over cats for an extremely long time, not to mention dogs ARE smarter than your average cat. We can simulate a cat brain, we cannot simulate a dog brain.

The subjective area however is companionship, that is truly preference, you can get equal enjoyment from either pet and enjoy the idiosyncrasies of each species.

EDIT: fixed some grammar.

[–]loondawg 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cats have served as pest control on farms, in homes, on ships, and in cities for centuries. In the development of civilization, that was an important role.

[–]Bragzor 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Since when can we simulate a cat brain?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Source

[–]Bragzor 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh, I thought you meant the functionality. Since a dogs brain is only slightly larger by weight I don't see they couldn't simulate a dog's brain too.

[–]deeds355 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cats were once gods. They're done working for a while

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

re-re-re-repost

[–]dajoik -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's pretty amusing how cat people take this personally.

[–]TheGazelle 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's pretty amusing how anybody still feels the need to somehow impose the superiority over one common house pet over another.

[–]preske -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

some cats know when people are about to die

[–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Some dogs do too, because they have their throats in their teeth.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]HeyKatieJay 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you own a large rat, my friend.

[–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How would you know when it's detecting cancer, when it shakes slightly more than usual?

[–]tyler_g3 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Alright asshole cat lovers, my dog does not eat its own shit, nor other animals'. My dog runs free on my property, and has only ever actually ran away one time as a pup. She pisses/shits in the woods behind my house, she does not bark, only once at the door when she wants to get in. And if you think your cat is so good, ask yourself this, what would your dumb little kitty do if a robber broke into your house and started beating you? Probably go take a piss then go to sleep, and what would a dog do? I think you know the answer. So fuck off.

[–]alirage 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

lots of dogs eat their own poop. yours just happens to not be one of them. my cat doesn't eat its own poop. my dogs eat their own poop AND my cat's poop when they can find it. my cat poops outside and does it so secretly that most of the time i'm not even exactly sure where. my dogs poop outside, too, but there was much training involved getting them to do so and i have to constantly pick it up. we are also trying to train them not to bark. my cat doesn't bark and we didn't have to train her, nor did we train her to discreetly poop outside. and i don't think the main reason people get dogs is to protect against robbers. you're right about them alerting me to a robber, but if a robber was beating me, my dogs couldn't do much help me. i like cats AND dogs, but as pets, cats are better for me because they are easier to own and because their temperament suits me better. yeah dogs tend to be friendlier, but i like that my cat doesn't need so much of my attention all the time.

[–]pestlen 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Almost everything that you mentioned that were "good" qualities of your dog, are unnatural to most dogs- and natural to cats. i.e.- doesn't bark (cats don't bark), runs free and comes back (outside cats roam free and come back), poops outside (if a cat is outside they will poop there, too).

[–]savvycows 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And the cat lovers are the only assholes here? Grow up...

[–]mknyan -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sudden Clarity Clarence moment here.

If religion is abolished, the internet will no longer argue non-stop about religion vs. atheism... instead they'll fight over cats vs dogs!

gasp

[–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In a lot of places same sex marriage is abolished but people still bitch about wanting it.

[–]MrRykler -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think cats just don't give a fuck. They probably are smarter, but just don't show it.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

False, cats are actually only as smart as mice.

Western culture tends to attach coldness with smartness, dogs are friendly so we perceive them as stupid but in reality they are one of the smarter creatures on earth.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 8544 on app-104 running 4e3ad27.