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top 200 commentsshow all 255

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]happy555cat 160 points161 points ago*

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Yes, exactly. Zebras are evil. More zoo employees in the US are killed injured by zebras than any other animal. That's why, back when people in Europe started riding around on horses, people in Africa continued staying the fuck away from zebras.

[–]Cdf12345 76 points77 points ago

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They make great gum tho

[–]11oops 9 points10 points ago

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For the first twenty seconds, then they make some shitty tasting rubber.

[–]scrufdawg 89 points90 points ago

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Fruit Stripe? Fuck that weakass shit.

[–]GoGoGadge7 12 points13 points ago

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Fruit Stripe was for the kids whose mother's couldn't afford Bubblicious.

[–]FeierInMeinHose 7 points8 points ago

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Or for the kids who liked getting fake tatoos, but still liked bubble gum.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I liked the metal tins. I have no idea why, but that was my selling point.

[–]FeierInMeinHose 2 points3 points ago

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To each his own.

Edit: or as I thought as a kid "Dueechisone".

[–]zombierobot 4 points5 points ago

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France is bacon.

[–]AndroidHelp 0 points1 point ago

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Those poor people down the hill will never have our Bubblicious.

[–]apm9167 2 points3 points ago

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Admit it's delicious for at least the 6 seconds it lasts.

[–]stardonis 11 points12 points ago

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Ugh. I remember when all of my friends thought you could eat Fruit Stripe Gum with the wrappers still on. It had to be like eating the bible very slowly. ppl r dum

[–]ScotteeMC 31 points32 points ago

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All of your friends might be retarded.

[–]sleeplessone 16 points17 points ago

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It was the only way to make the flavor last more than 3 seconds.

[–]LessLikeYou 7 points8 points ago

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That is Trident...

[–]lAmShocked 1 point2 points ago

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I have never heard that. Google says that it's regular wax paper so I guess it wont hurt you if you eat it.

[–]LessLikeYou 2 points3 points ago

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My sister dared me to do it when I was a kid. It dissolved really quickly and other than really changing the consistency of the gum it didn't do much.

[–]bloody_pinecone 4 points5 points ago

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You can do that with Stride gum though.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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What type of hurry do you have to be in to not even take the wrapper off.

[–]bloody_pinecone 0 points1 point ago

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Well I eat the wrappers mostly out of laziness. I don't want to get up to throw it away or leave it lying around.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Better with Cinnaburst. Do they still make Cinnaburst?

[–]mr_jellyneck 2 points3 points ago

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... that was not how you activated the temporary tattoos.

[–]TheDroopy 1 point2 points ago

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Great for about 9 seconds

[–]DemonstrativePronoun 0 points1 point ago

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When I was younger and didn't know how to chew cum correctly I swallowed a whole pack of that gum. Legit, my shit was multicolored.

[–]RequiredCheese 10 points11 points ago

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When a family of Zebras are attacked, the members form a semicircle, face the predator and watch it, ready to bite or strike should the attack continue. If one of the family is injured the rest will often encircle it to protect it from further attack.

[–]happy555cat 13 points14 points ago

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Oh snap. Werd to the herd, zebra-nerds.

[–]datsyukian 3 points4 points ago

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Herd herd herd, the herd is the werd.

[–]mainsworth 14 points15 points ago

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That's what pretty much any hooved herd animal does...

[–]cords55 22 points23 points ago

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I thought most herd animals had more of a "glad it wasn't me" mindset, and just run away.

[–]ReadMyComments 4 points5 points ago

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that's human. bystander effect is somewhat related

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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o_O Antelopes and gazelles sure as fuck don't defend their own.

[–]JesusWuta40oz 0 points1 point ago

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Don't piss off Lamas as well. They will chase a wolf for miles and kill it if they can.

[–]AndroidHelp 0 points1 point ago

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LOL.

[–]rhayke 11 points12 points ago

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[–]douche-knight 1 point2 points ago

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Look at that one wolf that sees it coming and backs off to watch. He's like "yeah, this is about to happen."

[–]chips15 1 point2 points ago

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Not all. Musk ox, African buffalo, and zebras (among others) will go after or defend against a predator. Antelope, most domesticated horses, and deer just gtfo.

[–]jacklmoore 1 point2 points ago

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I've heard that before but could never source it. Is there actually proof of this?

[–]happy555cat 4 points5 points ago

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[–]SuperCow1127 1 point2 points ago

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Hippos are said to account for more human deaths throughout Africa per year than any other mammal, except the lion.

I think they're forgetting one particularly deadly mammal...

[–]happy555cat 11 points12 points ago

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Mother F*&KIN' honey badgers!

[–]brainburger 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder about the idea that the African animals are resistant to humans because they evolved alongside us. Animals which have domesticated well have been successful in terms of population and breeding.

[–]happy555cat 4 points5 points ago*

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But in Africa, man and beast have evolved alongside one another for millions of years. Large mammals have learned to avoid — or if necessary, attack — human beings, resisting capture with some of the most sophisticated physiological characteristics on earth.

I guess early humans weren't into breeding at first, just hunting and eating.

[–]brainburger 0 points1 point ago

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Yes it's this suggestion of Jared Diamond's that I am sceptical of. It seems to me that humans could have bred the animals for domestication. I have heard it suggested that the problem is with crop farming in Africa, that the animals require too much fodder to be economically viable.

[–]brainburger 0 points1 point ago

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Naughty! - you changed the meaning of you comment with an edit, and didn't say so.

[–]happy555cat 0 points1 point ago

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Oh yeah, I had what you said totally backwards. I thought I could fix my backwards comment quick, my bad.

[–]antical 1 point2 points ago

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Read Guns, Germs and Steel recently?

[–]happy555cat 1 point2 points ago

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Jared Diamond knows that zebras are evil.

[–]ZebraslikePie2 0 points1 point ago

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Ouch, but we have one thing in common?

[–]MadZane 12 points13 points ago

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People who don't punch their zebras in the face make me sick!

[–]pterid 6 points7 points ago

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Hey, no need to give the zebras a bad rap. Maybe you shouldn't be messin'.

[–]SwooseMagoose 2 points3 points ago

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I was expecting a rhyme, oh well maybe next time

[–]pterid 3 points4 points ago

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I respect your submission, that was quite an omission!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Hey what's up with using [](/zecora) ?

[–]pterid 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It works in /r/funny?

EDIT: Ah, browser plugin. Neat.

[–]thatwasntveryraven 3 points4 points ago

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This is why refs in polo don't ride zebras.

[–]Skulljoint 2 points3 points ago

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They live in dangerous places, its necessary.

[–]jonathanrdt 1 point2 points ago

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That is why they were never domesticated.

They are assholes.

[–]snippy_gerbil 51 points52 points ago

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Here is the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l99HRfB8AXA

My apologies in advanced for annoying slow mo replay.

[–]thatkenyan 43 points44 points ago

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Oh my god, the slow mo is hilarious.

[–]cuteintern 13 points14 points ago

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Whale beach themselves every time that audio plays. Hilarious.

[–]AgentTypo 0 points1 point ago

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Agreed. I actually felt really bad for the girl. Then slow mo' cheered me right up.

[–]give_me_a_number 16 points17 points ago

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oh god, lady at the end: "ah think we do need to tell 'em we need to get our money back"

[–]I_CATS 11 points12 points ago

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Most likely they were instructed to keep their windows shut, so no payback for breaking the instructions.

[–]AswanJaguar 6 points7 points ago

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I think that at the very end of the clip a male voice starts to explain this, but the video ends.

[–]sackbandit 1 point2 points ago

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I went to a zoo like that once. We were allowed to keep the windows down and feed the animals, but they specifically instructed us to keep our windows shut for buffalos, watusi cattle, and zebras.

So yeah, she probably deserved that.

[–]TheShader 8 points9 points ago

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I hated that. She's the kind that would demand a free meal at a restaurant for her soup being a degree too hot or too cold. Yeah, it sucks that she got attacked, but it's a WHILE FUCKING ZEBRA. Of which they probably got warned about leaving their windows down like that around ten million times. Even the guy filming begins pointing out that the brochure has some kind of warning.

[–]RedAlert2 13 points14 points ago

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Wild. It's a wild zebra.

[–]Shamson 25 points26 points ago

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Nigga that zebra while. WHILE, MAWFUCKA.

[–]MrMono1 5 points6 points ago

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Read that in Dave Chappelle's voice.

[–]TheShader 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure how a while zebra made it into my post...

[–]onionhammer 1 point2 points ago

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She wasn't the one speaking, demanding money back, it was someone off-camera.

[–]TheShader 1 point2 points ago

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I know, that's who I was referring to. Judging by the voice, the phrasing of her sentence, etc. I am assuming she was probably the grandma.

[–]AswanJaguar 2 points3 points ago

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I was laughing so hard from the slow-mo, and then I heard this line - It was like a bucket of ice water to the face. What ignorance.

[–]Iputitbluntly 7 points8 points ago

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Was she crying or laughing? I can't tell.

[–]Edrondol 6 points7 points ago

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Crying. I sincerely doubt she'd be laughing after a zebra bit her.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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she actually says in the comments if you dare to trudge - it was a little bit of both.

[–]Edrondol 4 points5 points ago

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Interesting. Must not have been that bad of a bite then. I've been bitten by a horse and that brought tears to my eyes.

Of course, maybe I'm just a big pussy.

[–]MrMono1 6 points7 points ago

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Pussy.

[–]TheShader 0 points1 point ago

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It looks like she starts chuckling once the shock of thinking she was in pain is over.

[–]notbookies 3 points4 points ago

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What the fuck is wrong with her holy shit. I mean, the zebra didn't even break skin.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]notbookies 0 points1 point ago

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I realize it probably hurt like a bitch, but she completely lost her mind.

[–]timmymac 0 points1 point ago

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Good to know this is an "actual zebra attack".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was sad for her but at the same time, those sound effects were awesome.

[–]dwhee 0 points1 point ago

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Why are you apologizing for something amazing.

[–]DivinePotatoe 35 points36 points ago*

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She is now one of the were-zebras, doomed to roam the savannah on the night of the full moon.

[–]Granite-M 0 points1 point ago

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The bite of the zebranthrope can leave a nasty bruise, which is best treated with a cold compress. Fortunately, their numbers are kept in check by local populations of leonthropes.

[–]Azrael6519 110 points111 points ago

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The last frame of this is golden. You can see her love for zebras dashed upon the rocks of a wicked shoulder bite.

[–]Nrksbullet 19 points20 points ago

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After the third time in a row of watching gifs, my head just adds the audio automatically. This one?

"He likes it"

Rawnneurr!

"AAAH!! OH, He bit my shoulder!!! eh....cry noise

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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i can almost lip-read what she's saying; i'm sure a real lip-reader could..

i imagine "that bitch bit me!"

[–]KalimasPinky 24 points25 points ago

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Zebras are assholes. Thats why we never bothered to domesticate them.

[–]MoparMogul 51 points52 points ago

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Yipes! Stripes!

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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You got downvoted because kids these days didn't get the joke. Welcome to being "old," man.

[–]evanthesquirrel 6 points7 points ago

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fruit stripe gum, it's the yummy fruity gum

[–]scrufdawg 3 points4 points ago

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That lasts 2 minutes.

[–]Nrksbullet 2 points3 points ago

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And turns into paper within seconds, after 20 minutes.

[–]evanthesquirrel 6 points7 points ago

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[–]evanthesquirrel 183 points184 points ago

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she's an idiot and deserves it. These are wild animals people, roll up your windows and be glad that wasn't a bear.

[–]u8eR 42 points43 points ago

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You don't find too many bears on African safaris.

[–]Chazboski 45 points46 points ago

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That's just what they want you to think. Lure you into a sense of false security

[–]stardonis 27 points28 points ago

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..and then COCAINE!

[–]verysoon 22 points23 points ago

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This. It's amazing how people don't realize the danger of encountering wild animals. My aunt was on a trip recently in the mountains and was telling me about bear and moose sightings where people were pulling over and getting out of their cars to get close to the animals. The rangers had to come out and tell people to get back into their vehicles. Idiots.

[–]ContentWithOurDecay 17 points18 points ago

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Should have let them continue, clean out the old gene pool. People like that are why we can't have lawn darts and other fun shit.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Except that it isn't your genes that determine whether or not you understand the danger of wild animals.

Human beings are all about learned behaviors. It's what makes us so versatile and clever survivors. It also means that we are exceptionally vulnerable when placed in unfamiliar situations where we don't understand the danger we are in.

It doesn't mean such people are naturally unintelligent. It just means they are ignorant, which is a condition all of us suffer from in more than one respect.

[–]ContentWithOurDecay 3 points4 points ago

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You're taking my comment entirely too seriously.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Meh, just saying. People like to talk about genetics as if everything we do in our entire lives is the result of our genes. It's a common misconception that just ain't so, and people don't point that out often enough, IMO.

But I'm sorry I spoiled your joke.

[–]noumuon 0 points1 point ago

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nope. ever see a moose in person? anyone stupid enough to see one and think that they'd like a picture on its back has faulty genes.

same goes for most bears. a grizzly does not look friendly.

something like a coyote or a chimp i could understand. a bear and moose... not so much.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Bowinkle.

[–]Auxtin 3 points4 points ago

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On the way driving up to Mount Rushmore there were a some buffalo hanging out near the road. People were getting out of their cars to go up to these giant buffalo, some of them tried petting them even. There are some really stupid people out there.

[–]mannyderts 131 points132 points ago

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Give her a break...It's not that black and white.

[–]RichardPeterJohnson 47 points48 points ago

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I disagree. She deserves it for horsing around.

[–]NoojNoj 16 points17 points ago

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HOOF!!

[–]Hoofbite 64 points65 points ago

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Never have I felt like my username was so appropriate.

[–]HeadbangsToMahler 4 points5 points ago

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Redditor for 1 year ... approved.

[–]frigginelvis 6 points7 points ago

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Was I the only one who REALLY enjoyed the part at the very end where she is crying?

[–]mbrady 3 points4 points ago

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It's one of those drive-thru safari parks. They usually even supply you with food to feed the animals from your window.

[–]general_derez 11 points12 points ago

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Reminds me of this.

[–]TheTwist 8 points9 points ago

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"Where did you get that hickey?"

"A zebra bit me!"

"Haha now really, what happened?"

[–]slickmcghee 34 points35 points ago

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My tummy had the rumblies... that only human shoulder can satisfy.

[–]Brammelam 3 points4 points ago

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zebra, not llama ಠ_ಠ

[–]AndrewP7 5 points6 points ago

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Zebras with hats

[–]unholymackerel 1 point2 points ago

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Dogs with cats

[–]slickmcghee 1 point2 points ago

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Bears with mats.

[–]Bernhoft 3 points4 points ago

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I don't know why, but she deserved it.

[–]Ilgarlando 3 points4 points ago

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For some reason I feel like she deserved that.

[–]afalsebillyidol 9 points10 points ago

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She's holding a piece of food in her hand when she turns away from the zebra. It was trying to get to the food she taunted him with, not bite her.

[–]chips15 5 points6 points ago

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I disagree. I've been around horses most of my life and that isn't an "ooh food" chomp. That's a "you're a fucking cunt" chomp.

[–]CaptO 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, "ooh food" is more of a snaffle, like grabbing with the teeth. That was definitely a "you scare and confuse me" chomp.

[–]farkdog 1 point2 points ago

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Came here for this. All the people saying the zebra "attacked" are wrong. The thing was simply trying to go for the snack in her hand, but could not make it out because of where his eyes are positioned on the sides of its head.

This zebra has obviously been conditioned by being fed. He was going for the food.

[–]FTFY_urwelcome 11 points12 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I couldn't stop laughing at this. So great.

[–]Tirofllefyou_O 2 points3 points ago

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well it’s a wild animal, what did they expect?

[–]trixter76 2 points3 points ago

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Best part is the crying afterwards.....wtf did she think would happen?

[–]starlinguk 3 points4 points ago

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I've been bitten by a horse like that. Biggest love bite I've ever had.

[–]fullmetal30 1 point2 points ago

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Pfft. Whatever. My ex GF bit harder than that.

[–]MadZane 2 points3 points ago

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And she even had bigger teeth!

[–]babybonobo 1 point2 points ago

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LOL the video for this is hilarious...."OOOWWWWW.....IT BIT MY SHOULDERRR!"

[–]reasonable_force 1 point2 points ago

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He was aiming for ze-bra.

[–]Inessia 1 point2 points ago

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but she's so cute

[–]TrapDoorSoapBox 1 point2 points ago

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...and kids, that's how the zebra zombie pandemic of 2012 started...

[–]nomdeanon 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah... I watched this way too many times.

[–]bracomadar 1 point2 points ago

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She now has the curse of the zebra. On a night when the moon is full she will develop stripes (stretch marks) and go out into the fields to prey on grass.

[–]floydenstein 3 points4 points ago

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where's your god now?

[–]impulsius 1 point2 points ago

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Most certainly it's biting after her hair believing it's hay.

[–]Ologn 0 points1 point ago

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She has food in her hand.

[–]mcsqueezesauce 3 points4 points ago

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horse bites hurt but i mean honestly is that any reason to start crying, its not like it even drew blood

[–]patternfall 17 points18 points ago

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Just remember - horses can bite chunks out of people. I knew a guy who had two fingers bitten clean off by a horse. Pinky and ring fingers.

[–]overtoke 5 points6 points ago

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horse can also kick you as though you were hit by a car

[–]thus-sung 2 points3 points ago

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My cousin is in vet school and one of the cases she had to follow up on was of a donkey who lived with a horse. They were best buddies and were always hanging out, until the horse reached down and bit out the donkey's eye.

[–]AswanJaguar 3 points4 points ago

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She's crying from shock, not from pain.

[–]albertparsons 3 points4 points ago

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Fucking drive through zoos are the worst idea ever. Went to one a few years back, and it was all fun and games till I got bit by a zebra. It nabbed me on the thumb, right at the base of my nail. It bled everywhere, and we still had to drive through the rest of the zoo before anything could be done. The only "help" there was onsite was this little lady that barely spoke English that ran the gift shop. She gave me a band-aid and some rubbing alcohol and told me it's just like getting bit by a horse. It took like, 10 months for the mark/bruise to grow out of my thumbnail.

[–]bw1870 5 points6 points ago

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told me it's just like getting bit by a horse.

Did she think that was comforting? I imagine getting bit by a horse is also no picnic.

[–]albertparsons 1 point2 points ago

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I think that was what she intended...maybe that it didn't carry any strange diseases or something. Although their website claims that the animals are gentle enough to hand feed, it says nothing about making sure they aren't rabid.

[–]bigboehmboy 0 points1 point ago

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FWIW, most drive-through zoos will warn you to roll your windows up around Zebras. The other animals in most of these zoos that your'e supposed to feed don't have both top and bottom front teeth and aren't as aggressive.

Of course if zebras are bitey and aggressive, then why should the zoo let them walk up to your car in the first place?

[–]smackster 1 point2 points ago

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A zebra once bit my sister.

[–]AirunV 1 point2 points ago

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No realli! She was karving her initials on the zebra with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...

[–]Rulimau5 1 point2 points ago

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I love the moment when she starts to cry like a little bitch

[–]SpermWhale -1 points0 points ago

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Stripe one!

[–]fredbnh 3 points4 points ago

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Stripe won.

[–]Dapwell 2 points3 points ago

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She's been infected! Quarantine her, dammit!

[–]evanthesquirrel 2 points3 points ago

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Next day she has zebra powers

[–]redditcontrol 0 points1 point ago

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I like that Shoulder. That is a nice shoulder

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Good thing I didn't get that bitch a zebra...bitches hate zebras

[–]PotatoPotahto 0 points1 point ago

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That poor zebra looks all sad after she freaks at him D:

[–]neverfunny 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen enough of these gifs and videos now to know that I will never be in the passenger seat of a car and open the window to feed a wild animal.

[–]ab103630 0 points1 point ago

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You know shit is about to go down when a zebra tries to eat your shoulder

[–]FrenchieSmalls 0 points1 point ago

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Sequim... fucking... WASHINGTON.

[–]DJMunich 0 points1 point ago

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OH SHIT IT BIT ME IN THE SHOULDER :(((((

[–]rafapo 0 points1 point ago

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I actually got bitten by a zebra too. I had a frog tattoo and the zebra tought it was a leaf

[–]Howard_Beale 0 points1 point ago

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Why the hell would you have the window down around zebras? Zebras bite. She probably ignored a big sign that said "Zebra's bite. Beware!"

[–]Astronomist 0 points1 point ago

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Zebra doesn't give a fuck

[–]dorisfrench 0 points1 point ago

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I guess zebras bite too. Someone please warn Louis CK.

[–]nflem41 0 points1 point ago

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He was just trying to get the bacon.

[–]Lukianox 0 points1 point ago

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That's for being a teaser!

[–]treesatemypenis 0 points1 point ago

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Look at her mouth: OH SHIT BITCH

[–]grinr 0 points1 point ago

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My dub for this video:

"OH DISNEY MOVIES WHY DID YOU LIE TO MEEEEEE"

[–]thatwasntveryraven 0 points1 point ago

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LOL! That fuckin' stripey horse bit the bitch.

[–]Donut 0 points1 point ago

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Hey, I know that chick, the guy taking the movie (her husband) works for my company! She got an all-expenses paid trip to New York for this. Worth a bite!

[–]alexisgurl103 0 points1 point ago

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I thought Tosh stole from reddit, not the other way around.

[–]OneWarning13 0 points1 point ago

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RWJ already ruined this clip for me

[–]Spr09 0 points1 point ago

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is it zebras like bitches, or bitches like zebras? i forget.

[–]Snorgledork 0 points1 point ago

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[–]TimonBerkowitz 0 points1 point ago

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Oh wow a video gets posted to reddit and coincidentally a lame ass kitchen joke shoots to the top of the youtube comments. Weird.

[–]NateDohgg 0 points1 point ago

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Damn Nature, You Scary

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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To be fair, the zebra thought it was brisket.

[–]Cawnen 0 points1 point ago

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ZECORA NO.

[–]mttdlrympl 0 points1 point ago

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she totally deserved it

[–]leogg_lyl 0 points1 point ago

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It's funny because she's fat!

[–]ZeamaysHusker 0 points1 point ago

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Worked with a zebra for a while, he was an unneutered male raised by humans and he was a fucking asshole. Would not work with again.

[–]jiggalypuff69 0 points1 point ago

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Zebra Hickies

[–]IHateNicolasCage 0 points1 point ago

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Hurr I'm a Horse Zebra

[–]xella34 0 points1 point ago

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Does anyone else see a fat Lindsay Lohan?

[–]DerpinNinjaa 0 points1 point ago

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CANT.STOP.LAUGHING.

[–]sararules2 0 points1 point ago

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As someone who's been bitten by a horse, I can tell you it hurts like a bitch. I almost feel sorry for her, ALMOST. As most people here have already stated, THIS IS A WILD FUCKING ANIMAL. That is all.

[–]moornik 0 points1 point ago

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"Ow Charlie that really hurt" Charlie grew up to be a zebra

[–]rabidhamster2002 0 points1 point ago

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Seemed more like an ear nibble to me. That zebra is just a misunderstood romantic.

[–]Male_Artemis 0 points1 point ago

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Vampire zebra!

[–]fskern 0 points1 point ago

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my brother was an equine vet tech for quite a few years- he had to do dental work and some other basic vet shit on a zebra one time. Had to put the thing in a restraining cage just to get close enough to do his job and said the thing was batshit crazy even before they had to restrain it- the thing almost bit two of his fingers off. They eventually had to trank it to do any work on it. He told me that they make arabian horses (who are pretty high-strung) look like my my little pony. Refused to have anything to do with the thing ever again.