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all 56 comments

[–]flowstoneknight 100 points101 points ago

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I'd say something was gained in translation there.

[–]morphine12 91 points92 points ago

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You fucked up the original. It should be "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck..."

You see the "would" adds the complexity of the woodchuck's intent and raises the important question of what exactly he is trying to achieve. With "could" it's a simple matter of his innate ability to chuck wood.

[–]drp1103 40 points41 points ago

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the complexity of the woodchuck's intent

The funniest thing I've read on Reddit today. I'm sitting here debating the level of complex thought that takes place prior to a woodchuck chucking wood. Thanks. ಠ_ಠ

[–]nickthemenace 14 points15 points ago

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Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?

[–]AceJon 10 points11 points ago

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And, assuming the woodchuck should chuck wood, could chuck wood and would chuck wood, how much wood should a good woodchuck chuck, as a good woodchuck would chuck wood as it should chuck wood if it could chuck wood? Good luck!

[–]RedhandedMan 5 points6 points ago

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I'd say 10 logs is a reasonable amount to chuck.

[–]silverbackjack 0 points1 point ago

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Chuck Norris?

[–]RedhandedMan 4 points5 points ago

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If a woodchuck chucks wood in the middle of the woods would anyone care?

[–]ragnaroktog 6 points7 points ago

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yes.

[–]bearded 0 points1 point ago

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could they?

[–]spiralsinmyeyes 1 point2 points ago

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ah the age old duality between divine will and wood chucking

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Ah... but his innate ability to chuck would is relevant to his intent to chuck wood. After all, " A woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood. "

edit: this was the answer to the original riddle/question I was taught.

[–]morphine12 5 points6 points ago

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I don't believe a wood chuck would necessarily chuck as much wood as a would chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. To answer the question we must consider the individual wood chuck and his hopes and desires. If he does chuck as much wood as he could chuck, what other aspects of his life might he be neglecting?

This second verse is a tactless resolution of the original question - a question which no human can ever know the answer to. We can not truly know how much wood a wood chuck would chuck for we are forever stuck outside the mind of the wood chuck.

**The male gendered pronoun was used herein for ease and fluidity of reading.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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But with neurological understandings of the thought process and limitations of the woodchuck behaviour, being prone to function over passion, or more directly "Animals usually lived solitarily, each animal in the population establishing dominance-subordination relationships with those animals whose home ranges overlapped or met its own. " (Bronson) and "Gnawing by woodchucks is a common cause of mortality of young fruit trees in orchards in New England. Hence, gnawing associated with scent marking may affect survival of trees in natural habitats...In general, density of live woody stems increased as a function of distance from a burrow, although at the Southington site this relation was not monotonic... Thus, live stems became less abundant near burrows, and gnawing was more severe on stems near these entrances. " (Swihart and Picone) may indicate that the priority of a woodchucks behaviour is largely based on capability given the limitations of environment and dependencies there-of. David E. Davis also mentions the extent to which the environment affects a woodchucks behaviour.

With this knowledge of limitations on the behaviour of a woodchuck to follow an instinctive pattern, much like many animals, it is not unreasonable to infer that a woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck given the time and lack of interference to other survival obligations. Nor is it unreasonable to claim the dependance of the woodchuck chucking wood relies on its' capability to do so. As with any concern of how much any entity can accomplish we must question whether the entity is capable of accomplishing the task at all. Making the question of if a woodchuck could chuck wood vital to understanding the quantity of wood the woodchuck would chuck.

Finally, with the accumulation of this knowledge, while we may never know with absolute certainty the future possibilities for woodchucks destiny of chucking wood, we can assert that capabilities are related to the intent of quantity of wood chucking for the woodchuck. Given, of course, the admission that how much the woodchuck could chuck is reliant upon more than intention to chuck and also the necessity to chuck wood. In a shorter summary;

A woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood


Unrelated: I am enjoying this interaction. Your' my kind of person. =)

[–]hydrogen_wv 19 points20 points ago

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This is even better. I might start using it in daily conversation...

"How much wood could Chakkuchakkuchakku if you can throw a tree."

[–]heresmythrowaway 9 points10 points ago

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The answer's four.

[–]Blackbird1013 7 points8 points ago

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No, the answer is 42

[–]reddit-ulous 5 points6 points ago

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Damn right. The answer is always 42.

[–]ConsummateK 8 points9 points ago

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This became 100% more funny when I read it aloud.

[–]DrToonz -1 points0 points ago

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Agreed

[–]JabasMyBitch 8 points9 points ago

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what translation program is that?

[–]rhazer 8 points9 points ago

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Looks like it's this.
EDIT: And now it won't work. ಠ_ಠ

[–]kirun 2 points3 points ago

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The Google Translate API stopped being free; Translation Party is also down.

[–]aldenhg 1 point2 points ago

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[–]rhazer 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, this is awesome. I tried out your Bad Translator...

Original text:

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

...35 translations later Bing gives us:

"Is - this really useful?"

Well, it's a lot more coherent now, but I still don't know how to answer the damn question.

[–]zerophewl 4 points5 points ago

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I translated between a bunch of languages and got this:

Chuck much wood woodchuck Chuck Chuck timber if the timber

[–]nandemoii 2 points3 points ago

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I think this is the translation your looking for

ウッドチャックが木を放り投げられるとしたら 何本の木を投げることができるだろう? ウッドチャックが木を放り投げられるとしたら あの子はウッドチャックと同じくらい木を投げるだろう

Quite literally: What would happen if a woodchuck could cast aside wood? How many pieces of wood could it cast aside? If it was casting wood aside wood wouldn't it cast aside as much wood as it could?

Now I know some expert will probably come along and correct my translation, but in the mean time, you can get a feel for how strange it is to say it in Japanese. Though I use this a lot with my students in Japan. They love it.

[–]heresmythrowaway 2 points3 points ago

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What word is the ッ smiley face? Or do the japanese just litter their writing in emoticons. That's all I can see.

[–]Plurple 1 point2 points ago*

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That is the kana(read; Character) for Tsu, in Katakana. Katakana is used to translate foreign words to Japanese, basically just how they are pronounced. For example movie in Japanese is ビデオ Bideo.

And as far as I know the Japanese do not use question marks, they use か (ka) at the end of a question phrase.

EDIT: Was made aware of poor sentence structure.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Modern written Japanese often (but not always) uses question marks.

Also, 'tsu' is not used to translate foreign words into Japanese; it's just another sound. Small 'tsu' is used to represent a long vowel. I don't understand why you used ビデオ as an example of that; there is no 'tsu' in there.

[–]Plurple 0 points1 point ago*

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I used ビデオ as an example of Katakana. And I completely did not notice that Tsu was smaller, I thought in Katakana repeated vowels were represented by ー.

EDIT: I editted my first post to make it much clearer, sorry about that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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In katakana, ー is used to represent a long vowel. In hiragana, small tsu is commonly used (and ー can be used for the same purpose in hiragana, but less commonly). The small tsu is also used for double consonants (e.g. "モット").

As to your using ビデオ as an example of katakana, I took it the wrong way, my bad.

[–]Pink401k 1 point2 points ago

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Building on Plurple's resonse, the small "smiley face" is used to get double consonants.
ック = kku ッカ = kka ッシ = sshi

So, it is read as TSU when it is regular sized and denotes a double consonant when small.

[–]zodiacecks 0 points1 point ago

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this link may help you out.

[–]Iamnotmolestingyouok[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks! This info will propel me far in life!

[–]Domsuyang 5 points6 points ago

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Technically it's interpretation. Translation is just bullshit

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I hold this same belief, and I still came here to be pedantic at you.

Interpretation is real-time. This is translation, but translation is not a one-to-one process. Nothing in language A has a real equivalency in language B. You dig?

I'm so sorry. Have upvotes.

[–]N04H 1 point2 points ago

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I laughed so hard my lungs blew out of my ass.

[–]Professor_Oedipus 1 point2 points ago

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Reminds me of Gob Bluth's impersonation of a chicken. Chakkuchakkuchakku.

[–]noahssnark 1 point2 points ago

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Uraniwa niwa niwa niwa niwa niwa niwatori ga iru.

[–]Dianassa 3 points4 points ago

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As someone majoring in Japanese, currently sat in Japan, well done /thumbs up

[–]Yagachu 2 points3 points ago

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Sumomo mo momo mo momo no uchi.

I remember that one but I've never seen it with three additional niwa in it. What is the translation?

Edit: Uraniwa and niwa. I understand it now.

[–]log1k 0 points1 point ago

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reminds me of translationsparty... I miss that site :(

[–]Linwe_Ancalime 0 points1 point ago

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Using Google Translate I got:

Once a woodchuck chuck wood how much wood, or woodchuck chuck?

[–]jibbybonk 0 points1 point ago

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I was going to test this on www.translationparty.com but I learned its down.

[–]aldenhg 0 points1 point ago

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[–]GALACTICA-Actual 0 points1 point ago

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"How Much Wood Could Chakkucahkkuchakku if You Can Throw a Tree?"

That's it. Decision made: this is what's going on my tombstone.

[–]natranr 0 points1 point ago

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This is what I got

"Once a woodchuck chuck wood how much wood would woodchuck chuck"

[–]mondesuuu 0 points1 point ago

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Letting Google translation translate its own translations back and forth for a while, this is what I ended up with:

I must do as much as wood and wood and wood chuck chuck chuck chuck anything.

[–]sexydeathtime[!] 0 points1 point ago

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"How much wood is wood Chuck Chuck. If Woodcock Woodcock"

...wat

[–]sexydeathtime[!] 0 points1 point ago

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"Chuck Johnson to start the marmot" that's what I got

[–]toomisty 0 points1 point ago

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

[–]Kalmah666 1 point2 points ago

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How many woodchucks would chuck norris chuck if chuck could chuck woodchucks?

[–]Osiris32 1 point2 points ago

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All of them.

[–]lud1120 -1 points0 points ago

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Old as (half of) the Internet.

[–]03Titanium -1 points0 points ago

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I laughed out loud for the first time today.