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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]diggemigre 867 points868 points ago

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You can get anal and a shark blowjob at the same time.

[–]Allurex 636 points637 points ago

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Dreams do come true.

[–]turimbar1 229 points230 points ago

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This was what MLK jr was speaking of.

I too have a dream Mr King, thank you.

[–]anonymousalterego 84 points85 points ago

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*Dr. King.

[–]Teabaginz 104 points105 points ago

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"Mr." would still be a valid title because he didn't stop being a male after receiving the "Dr." title.

[–]brbegg 52 points53 points ago

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Señor King

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points ago

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[–]walking_away_ 21 points22 points ago

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Is that Darryl from The Office? =O

[–]darkel0 4 points5 points ago

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[–]skaterape 13 points14 points ago

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For some reason, I have you tagged in RES as "Sister Ate Dog Food".

[–]walking_away_ 23 points24 points ago

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Oh. Hey!

Yes. My sister did eat dog food. You said we would meet again. I was waiting for this day.

[–]skaterape 8 points9 points ago

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I said that? I don't remember it. It's possible that I said it though, I tend to drink most of the time when I reddit. It could also explain the mysterious tagging.

[–]walking_away_ 8 points9 points ago

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If it wasn't you, it was another person who tagged me as that and told me we would meet again.

I would go back and check, feel free to if you want, but I am also drinking and I tend to become quite lazy when I drink.

[–]skaterape 2 points3 points ago

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Fair enough. Have fun and be safe dude. No driving!

[–]thoggins 5 points6 points ago

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I didn't think this kind of thing happened. I guess I should start tagging people.

[–]pleasecleanmyroom 7 points8 points ago

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Priceless...

[–]portablebiscuit 7 points8 points ago

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Sometimes that sharks vomits poo.

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 3 points4 points ago

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This is the kind of tattoo you want to get if you know you're going to jail. Source: Big Stan

[–]mista0sparkle 4 points5 points ago

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Also, when you poop, it looks like the little shark is throwing up a hershey's bar.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]klsi832 1166 points1167 points ago

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We're gonna need a bigger boat.

[–]guyontheend 239 points240 points ago

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slow clap

[–]anonemouse2010 171 points172 points ago

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I don't think Gonorrhea comes in different speeds.

[–]gonorrhea_nodule 80 points81 points ago

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How would you know?

[–]Phillyz 62 points63 points ago

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This guy seems legit.

[–]frissonFry 11 points12 points ago

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I'm just waiting for the inevitable Jolly Rancher novelty account reply. Don't mind me.

[–]dino340 22 points23 points ago

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Fast, slow, and jolly rancher.

[–]Lantro 32 points33 points ago

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jolly rancher

ಠ_ಠ

I was hoping I would never be reminded of that.

[–]BlackestNight21 4 points5 points ago

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nodules

[–]LoliHunter 2 points3 points ago

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damn it, I regret searching up the jolly rancher story.

[–]sxestrobe 230 points231 points ago

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slow fap

[–]whollo918 50 points51 points ago

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Quick fap

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hatesinsomnia 164 points165 points ago

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I've never heard someone fap S.O.S. before. Well done.

[–]speedycat 10 points11 points ago

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Time for a rescue fap

[–]Sudden_Ovation 28 points29 points ago

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FULL ON STANDING OVATION

[–]cripplingpenis 45 points46 points ago

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FULL ON STANDING ERECTION

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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STANDING ON A FULL ERECTION

[–]koreansizzler 30 points31 points ago

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FULL ON STANDING OVULATION

[–]MileHighNugz 7 points8 points ago

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[–]klsi832 3 points4 points ago

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[–]oblivision 10 points11 points ago

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I don't get it...

[–]efischerSC2 34 points35 points ago

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It's a line from the movie Jaws.

[–]TheIrishTickler 13 points14 points ago

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Wrong, it's a quote from Clerks.

[–]grillcover 23 points24 points ago

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Hey everyone, this guy is right!

Randall from Clerks misquotes the line, and says, "We're..." just like the top comment. The actual quote reads, "You're."

Please upvote for posterity.

[–]TheIrishTickler 8 points9 points ago

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I'm RES-tagging you as "My favorite person in the world." Don't try to stop me, it needs to be done.

[–]nolotusnotes 39 points40 points ago

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I don't usually spit beer. But when I do, it's at great comments like this.

[–]Jakecus 103 points104 points ago

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Since when can you post pictures of your asshole on facebook?

[–]ironneko 226 points227 points ago

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Facebook is full of pictures of assholes.

[–]therealndb 19 points20 points ago

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Ka-Pow

[–]fortuitous_bounce 19 points20 points ago

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identification purposes.

[–]ISmokeCigars 2 points3 points ago

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Sorry, Mr Chappelle. You should have spread your cheeks and lifted your sack before.

[–]rocky_whoof 17 points18 points ago

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This is why it's on r/WTF

[–]skiwf42 23 points24 points ago

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I thought it was on r/WTF because it was, well, a tattoo of a shark with another sea creature coming out of that shark's mouth and the second shark's mouth was the chick's asshole? I must admit, I completely forgot about the facebook aspect when I saw the picture.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]poekoelan 37 points38 points ago

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Is that normal? I thought if you get a tattoo with all the cleanliness precautions it's not supposed to scab up. <----- has no tattoos

[–][deleted] 304 points305 points ago*

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Scabbing is not normal. If it scabs that means you did not take care of it well. (Namely, you did not wash it vigorously enough while the dermis was healing)

A tattoo should peel first, like a sunburn, and then it gets a sort of waxy finish after a while.

If you get a tattoo, keep it covered minimum 6 hours, maximum 24 hours, wash it about 10x a day using unscented soap. Wash it vigorously using the hottest water you can stand. Use Vitamin A&D ointment on it for the first 3 days. Just a small amount to cover it - don't glob it on there.

After 3 days do not use the ointment and instead after washing it use unscented lotion. Just enough to cover it, don't glob it on.

Use lotion for 2 weeks. After the first week you don't need to wash it like an OCD maniac but keep it clean and you'll be fine. Never had any tattoo scab up on me using this method.

[–]UncleTogie 2 points3 points ago

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It puts the lotion on its skin or it else gets my hose again.

[–]sekhmetx 27 points28 points ago

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I like how you got downvoted for being correct.

I did exactly that for mine and I never had any bleeding or scabbing. Tattoos should NOT scab.

[–]anthillsinrome 31 points32 points ago

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I'm mostly covered in tattoos and you're completely wrong. This guy says to wash it 10x a day and you say he's correct? Hahah.

Note to everyone: Don't come to reddit for tattoo advice.

[–]tobiasx 11 points12 points ago

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/r/tattoos begs to prove you wrong. Constant washing is not an issue what so ever as long as you're not using a harsh soap and if you're keeping the area moisturized. Excess blood plasma is what causes scabbing, removing it as soon as possible is definitely a plus.

[–]sekhmetx 23 points24 points ago

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You're supposed to clean it very often during the first few days, how much depends on the area it's located.

You can be covered in tattoos and still not know the best way to care for them, I know many who had no clue and merely soaked theirs in A&D for 3 weeks straight or something similar. So just because you are covered does not mean that your method is right.

Out of curiosity, would you like to provide us with your "correct" method?

[–]NaljunForgotPassword 45 points46 points ago*

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yeah, that's like saying "I am capable of making a child, so I'll definitely be a good parent"

....

.. much like what SharkButt's parents probably thought...

[–]finder90 4 points5 points ago

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I don't know what to believe anymore! I gotta say it sounds weird to me when someone says "tattoos aren't supposed to scab". I mean, they usually bleed while you get them. If something bleeds, it has to scab doesn't it? I have a bunch and all of them have scabbed and they all look fine to me.

[–]aaomalley 16 points17 points ago

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It is a skin wound and as such will absolutely scab. Now, it should never appear scabbed the way we think of it, which is a dry scab, which build a scar through production of fibrous tissue. This fibrous tissue becomes thicker every time the scab is picked at or removed and so if you allow a dry scab to form on a tattoo it will rub against clothing, fall of, build fibrous tissue and fade and distort the tattoo, along with pulling ink out of the skin every time the scab gets pulled off which can create blank spots in the ink.

Tattoo's should never be allowed to get dried out, but you also have to be careful to allow them to breath. This means you need to apply a breathable lotion or ointment (like aquafor) pretty much every hour for the first 2 weeks. This keeps the "scab" from drying out and should resemble a scab that has been soaking in water except not nearly as thick. This protects from infection but inhibits the building of fibrous tissue and promotes the creation of new skin cells which makes a smooth bright tattoo.

[–]CaptInappropriate 11 points12 points ago

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i got scabs on my shoulderblade tattoo both times i had it worked on, and i'm not a dirty street urchin

[–]40kfreak 34 points35 points ago

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That has yet to be determined

[–]Mahdii7 58 points59 points ago

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I thought it was an airbrush?

[–]Mahdii7 26 points27 points ago

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I don't get the downvotes. Can someone explain to me why this is clearly a real tattoo? Because when I look at a real tattoo compared to an airbrush tattoo this looks airbrushed to me. Not to mention the smear marks (no pun intended..)

[–]_deffer_ 76 points77 points ago

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You get smear marks on real tattoos too - the artist is wiping off the excess ink from the tat site.

Also - if you look near the top (lower back on the chick) you see the pink/red "i just got stabbed 18000 times" look on her skin.

[–]Reinfear 8 points9 points ago

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tats like this require more than one sitting.

[–]moderndayvigilante 40 points41 points ago

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I don't get the downvotes.

4 downvotes ಠ_ಠ

[–]JTAP72 45 points46 points ago

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After staring at this for well over a minute I have come to the conclusion that: HER BUTTHOLE MIGHT BE PIERCED

[–]fatcat2040 8 points9 points ago

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I concur. There is a distinct metallic glint at the top and bottom of her sphincter.

[–]cynthetiq 120 points121 points ago

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She's got an anal piercing. Yes I zoomed up all in it.

[–]suteneko 40 points41 points ago

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I noticed this too. The rest I could understand.

EDIT: OMG. So I was curious how this could work and/or be safe, as hers appears to go across her anus. NSFL.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]StolenLampy 26 points27 points ago

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This is what the internet is all about.

[–]apriloneil 36 points37 points ago

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WHY IS THIS A THING?

[–]rocky_whoof 13 points14 points ago

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Many people who have this piercing claim that it is extremely pleasurable.

[–]danger_one 19 points20 points ago

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...and isn't actually usually fully anal (look closely at the pictures) for obvious reasons.

No. No, I will not.

[–]thebetrayer 4 points5 points ago

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I thought that for a bit. Looked anyways.

[–]fernguts 7 points8 points ago

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Why, why, why, do I always click on NSFL links?

[–]ChiefBromden 5 points6 points ago

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Welp. As everyone else says. That's enough internet for me today. I'm going to the bar across the street to try not to picture that the person sitting next to me has one of those piercings.

[–]Quantum_Finger 8 points9 points ago

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I didn't know such a thing existed, but in retrospect, I'm not surprised. An anal piercing seems like a really bad idea from a hygiene perspective.

[–]nauree 2 points3 points ago

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This is how you get MSRA

[–]panzinator 8 points9 points ago

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Wait... you mean MRSA?

[–]scuzzle-butt 289 points290 points ago

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I'd still hit it.

[–]JIGGER_MY_DIGGER 289 points290 points ago

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YOU'D LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO THAT?

[–]likwidfuzion 273 points274 points ago

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Doesn't Matter; Had Shark

[–]godofallcows 53 points54 points ago

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IMMA SHAAAARK.

...SUCK YO DIIIICK?

[–]uepvup 2 points3 points ago

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I THOUGHT IT WAS A STINGRAY

[–]Thelonesomemoo 62 points63 points ago

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yep

[–]poekoelan 27 points28 points ago

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Anal virginity.

[–]slyk 60 points61 points ago

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Break the behymen.

[–][deleted] 229 points230 points ago

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RIP Steve Irwin.

[–]Salmon_Linguist 27 points28 points ago

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At least he died...happy.

[–]CostlierClover 124 points125 points ago

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With animals in his heart.

[–]Dsch1ngh1s_Khan 23 points24 points ago

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NOT soon enough!

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 136 points137 points ago

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That's one way of saying "no anal".

[–]suteneko 58 points59 points ago

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It's either that or the anal equivalent of a tongue ring.

[–]poekoelan 98 points99 points ago

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Either that or it's a way of saying "my poop is shark vomit"

[–]LoneStoner 57 points58 points ago

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Why is he only wearing one glove?

[–]bestbeforeMar91 60 points61 points ago

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Only one hand was dirty.

[–]saintlawrence 17 points18 points ago

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There's a third shark hidden inside

[–]L0stm4n 4 points5 points ago

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Probably to take a picture or something with that iPhone sitting there next to her leg.

[–]retreatingtomatoes 18 points19 points ago

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Was on my newsfeed too! Dun dun dun

[–]risingyeast 150 points151 points ago

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Dad would be proud.

[–]Hamilton5M 96 points97 points ago

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I think the tattoo means "fuck you dad" in so many ways.

[–]unknownsoldierx 120 points121 points ago

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Or possibly in this case, "stop fucking me, dad".

[–]likwidfuzion 11 points12 points ago

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Indeed, he's the tattoo artist.

[–]VentureBrosef 37 points38 points ago

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She probably has no idea who her dad is

[–]JoeEstevez 178 points179 points ago

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Imagine seeing this when she's 80.

[–]wrenchtwister 519 points520 points ago

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10 bucks says she's not the "makin' it to 80" type

[–]jsmayne 84 points85 points ago

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never know

she might end up like

this

NSFW

[–]Jackist 77 points78 points ago

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Wait... Look near the top right at that window. There are a pair of tits just sticking right out of the window.

[–]AddisonH 14 points15 points ago

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Son, you're doing the work of god.

[–]static_silence 117 points118 points ago

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I choose to look at the woman in the back of the photo.

[–]FistfulDeDolares 47 points48 points ago

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Security guy looks like he's having a good time.

[–]qda 4 points5 points ago

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Is.. is that.... Janine Lindemulder ??

[–]rocky_whoof 16 points17 points ago

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Unless we die early, we usually all get old and ugly.

[–]dbonham 83 points84 points ago

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What's the deal? The tattoos didn't make her old and gross. At least she isn't boring, and it looks like the tats held up pretty well

[–]Wozzle90 40 points41 points ago

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I honestly would not have expected to say it, but I agree completely. I always assumed a tattooed old lady would look weird, but the tattoos look fine. Great, in fact.

I'm sure a lot of tattoos in certain places do stretch out when you get old, but hers look fine. Way to go, grandma

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dbonham 6 points7 points ago

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That and she's naked

[–]TL_DRespect 11 points12 points ago

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Whenever I see something like that, I take a moment out to decide as to whether or not she was hot when she was younger.

In this case, I believe she was rather cute.

[–]GregLoire 56 points57 points ago

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Because she'd otherwise look so great at 80.

[–]ExistentialEnso 42 points43 points ago

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That's one of the problems I have with that argument. People generally look like crap when they're old regardless.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Pay_attentionmore 38 points39 points ago

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kog maw's sister?

[–]noskill1 159 points160 points ago

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[–]justguessmyusername 18 points19 points ago

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I thought I was the only one!

[–]chrisv650 13 points14 points ago

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This is the internet.

You are never the only one.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 14 points15 points ago

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Vagina Dentata?

[–]HiginsB15 10 points11 points ago

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think about this when she takes a poop.

[–]daaaabears 31 points32 points ago

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what are you talking about when she takes a poop? she's a girl..

[–]vernsolo 34 points35 points ago

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Big Shark, little shark, brown trout

[–]lawlshane 22 points23 points ago

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Nice pooper

[–]confusedconfucius 45 points46 points ago

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I read this as "This pooped up..."

needless to say I wasn't surprised

[–]Crabmose 7 points8 points ago

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Thought it said pooped as well.

Looked at photo. Still thought it said poop.

Didnt know it didnt until I saw this comment.

[–]Flux85 28 points29 points ago

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I shouldn't want to, but my penis wants to dive head first into her dark lagoon.

[–]Quantum_Finger 1 point2 points ago

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It's probably dangerous in there.

[–]Lantro 9 points10 points ago

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It's probably infested with sharks.

FTFY

[–]unr3a1r00t 9 points10 points ago

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I wish I could see her face.

[–]Ima_lil_teapot 8 points9 points ago

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This is the ultimate tramp stamp!

[–]auximage 8 points9 points ago

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Is it shark week again already?

[–]TrashAudio 8 points9 points ago

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Am I the only one that was more shocked by the fact that this person was able to put a picture of their arse and vertical smile on Facebook, than by however shockingly bad the tattoo is?

[–]NoctGent 6 points7 points ago

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I am staring at this for far too long

[–]NotTheZombies 6 points7 points ago

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We must know the same people...

[–]skakruk 2 points3 points ago

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Who the fuck posts this on facebook? If I did that, my friends would never talk to me again!

[–]041744 7 points8 points ago

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I love how the guy has to spread the ass cheeks apart so we can get the full effect.

[–]maxp0wah 6 points7 points ago

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It's a trap!

[–]GentlemanlyOctopus 7 points8 points ago

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Hey look, a sexual predator!

[–]zhiryst 12 points13 points ago

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shark tattoo next to a vagina, which menstruates..... there's a joke here.

[–]rtik13 90 points91 points ago

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A) That's fucking disgusting. B) That's a pretty poor tattoo.

[–]PoeticEnd 182 points183 points ago

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C) Still want to put it in her ass for fun.

[–]pween 64 points65 points ago

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D) I hope her ass doesn't really have teeth.

[–]tide88 67 points68 points ago

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Rectuma Dentata!

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points ago

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Ah yes, the Harry Potter spell for anus teeth.

[–]klapaucius 24 points25 points ago

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What a wonderful phrase

[–]aresd 16 points17 points ago

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It is a shitty tattoo. For some reason I keep seeing a manta ray instead of a shark. Still, pretty nice ass.

[–]MysteryHat 14 points15 points ago

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Haha. Shitty.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]LivingReceiver 4 points5 points ago

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Doesn't anyone else see it? When her butt cheeks come together when the tatoo is finished the shark will look completely different, like those fold outs in Mad magazines.

[–]Self_Hating_Liberal 9 points10 points ago

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That woman has some issues.

[–]domdawg 4 points5 points ago

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She's a maneater....

[–]GroceryBagHead 5 points6 points ago

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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I hope she has kids. Just for the birth videos.

[–]Dragonsoup 20 points21 points ago

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Okay I guess I'll say it: more pics/fb link, for more contextual science?

[–]Polythene_Man 78 points79 points ago

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This didn't pop up in your news feed, you stole it from this guy on r/pics.

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/oqj9x/nsfw_tramp_stamp_2012/

At least give credit...

[–]Rigurun[S] 61 points62 points ago

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http://i.imgur.com/7EDVi.jpg

There we go. Satisfied?

[–]Maarek 3 points4 points ago

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I can see where the poo comes out. With sharks...

[–]reddit4getit 2 points3 points ago

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Damn, bet she fucks like a monster!!

[–]RoedDut 3 points4 points ago

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I read it first as "This pooped up"

[–]NippleThief 3 points4 points ago

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That's one way to ruin a perfectly good butt.

[–]daveofstrength 3 points4 points ago

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whole another meaning to "shark week"

[–]Hellstruelight 6 points7 points ago

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WOULD

[–]vgarrett 6 points7 points ago

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I'm a woman, makng it possible that I'm just not going to "get this", however, this is really revolting and poorly done. Furthermore, what fucking guy finds this attractive?

[–]DozeR95 2 points3 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]joculator 2 points3 points ago

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Hey fellas...look what I hooked...

[–]darkestdayz 2 points3 points ago

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There is a piercing involved in this mess...looks like it runs through her asshole, somehow. Majorly fucked up shit here...

[–]urnotmyownertboy 2 points3 points ago

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How do you even maintain an erection during doggy style?!

[–]vgarrett 2 points3 points ago

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Going to be really sexy when she turns 60!

[–]mandog202 2 points3 points ago

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Thats gonna look great in about 60 years

[–]stickygnargnarbrah 2 points3 points ago

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i'm a shark!!! i'm a SHAAAARK! fuck my cuunnt!! I'M A SHAAARK!!

[–]Banana_Repairman 2 points3 points ago

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It seems like the only tattoos I've seen in these particular areas of the body have been scary ones. Why not something nice...like...a cupcake?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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ITT: When she's 80, when she's 80, when she's 80!!!!!11!!!!

Who the fuck cares what's between your asscheeks when you're fucking eighty as long as it isn't rogue shit?!

[–]spoone 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Mrubuto 4 points5 points ago

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I really want to have sexual intercourse with that girl wink wink if you catch my drift.

[–]angryboobs 3 points4 points ago

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This was on /b/ a few hours ago.

[–]muffe122 2 points3 points ago

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[–]yurbud 6 points7 points ago

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A simple DO NOT ENTER would have been sufficient--she didn't have to get rude about it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]fatcat2040 7 points8 points ago

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No, just the opposite. The shark must feed at least once a day.

[–]italianpoetess 1 point2 points ago

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I like how hes only wearing one glove.

[–]fatcat2040 1 point2 points ago

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How did she decide on Jaws+Alien for her pooper tat? How did she decide she needed such a marking? Maybe it started as a tramp stamp, and migrated?

[–]viavolta 1 point2 points ago

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This is something I would imagine lizbeth from the girl with a dragon tattoo film. Not even her..... True wtf.

[–]general_relative 1 point2 points ago

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First thought: "I hope this girl browses reddit."

[–]GoodMusicTaste 1 point2 points ago

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What is this i dont even