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top 200 commentsshow all 332

[–]Scheme84 256 points257 points ago

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Asians coming out of the woodwork.

[–]hempels_sofa 127 points128 points ago

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IMPOSSIBRU!

[–]Boring_Racist_Alarm 81 points82 points ago

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AWOOGA, AWOOGA

[–]IANon89 6 points7 points ago

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Y U NO GIVE ANY GUM?!

[–]kresblain 10 points11 points ago

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No one ever pays me in gum.

[–]SpeedyTaco626 5 points6 points ago

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Awww throws gum at you take it you filthy whore!

[–]luzfero 39 points40 points ago

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Supplies!

[–]clearlyordarkly 14 points15 points ago

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Our chief weapon is supplies.

[–]DoesNotTalkMuch 10 points11 points ago

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And feel.

[–]slavetothecause 8 points9 points ago

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And ruthress efficiency.

[–]DoesNotTalkMuch 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Pineapplerainbow 10 points11 points ago

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I thought it was the Jewish people who hid under the floor boards.

[–]AdrianBrony 6 points7 points ago

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now you have me wondering if the phrase "coming out of the woodwork" has it's origins based in the holocaust...

[–]jbg89 1 point2 points ago

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This kills the gum.

[–]eyabs 93 points94 points ago

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Try opening a pack of cigarettes at a party.

[–]nelac 30 points31 points ago

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Yeah. The problem is that it has been borderline acceptable to bum a smoke here or there in the past. Now cigarettes are expensive as a mf and the people that don't buy them pretend to not know.

[–]zeppelinfromled 24 points25 points ago

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I don't smoke, but I owed my friend some money, so I bought her a pack of cigarettes in NYC. $13.25

[–]pternera 12 points13 points ago

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That is ridiculously expensive. Cigarettes here - well in the philippines - cost 1$.

[–]OmegaVesko 6 points7 points ago

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Yup. Serbia, and most of the ex-Yugoslavian countries, it costs about $1. A 0.5L bottle of beer costs $1, too.

Our gas is more expensive, though.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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What if we made a car that runs on beer???

[–]JuanRomero 4 points5 points ago

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We can even call the fuel 'ethanol'.

[–]TheCompass 6 points7 points ago

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Try living in Australia. A 25 pack of cigarettes costs about $16. Our alcohol and cigarette prices are astronomical.

[–]lumaco 5 points6 points ago

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$13.25 for a pack of smokes?! I pay ~$7.5 a pack and I thought that was expensive.

[–]nerfdude 6 points7 points ago

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that is expensive. ~$4.75 a pack here, good thing i don't smoke, just have to listen to coworkers bitch about how cartons of Marlboros aren't $20 anymore.

[–]painkilller 2 points3 points ago

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What? ~3$ here and that's expensive. Though 3$ here is about 0,5% of avg pay check.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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$3.16/pack here. But I buy the mid-to-low-grade cigs. L&M.

Marlboros and Camels go for $4.50 or so.

Benson and Hedges $9. But that's ok, because fuck hipsters.

[–]timeformetofly 3 points4 points ago

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You can roll your own for around ten dollars a week.

[–]zeppelinfromled 6 points7 points ago

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Well that depends pretty heavily on how much you smoke.

[–]timeformetofly 1 point2 points ago

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That's true. That price is if you smoke around a pack a day.

[–]memefilter 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, my GF gets a carton (1/2 a 1lb bag, 200 tubes) for about $10. I hand roll so I save a few cents more.

[–]timeformetofly 1 point2 points ago

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It's really the best way to go. Also, there is no FSC in bagged tobacco.

[–]sweddit 1 point2 points ago

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The fuck!? I'm glad I stopped smoking, used to be $6 dollars the last time I bought a pack.

[–]CheekySprite 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck!

[–]thomasrefrained 11 points12 points ago

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I hate those scumbags. They are almost as bad as the fuckers that ask to borrow your lighter and immediately pocket them after they light their smoke. Then they act like it was an accident when you point out they just stole your lighter. Smoking bowls sucks as well because they steal them after the bowl is done, and by that point you can forget that they have your lighter.

[–]rannic 27 points28 points ago

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I promise, nobody has ever intentionally stolen your lighter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habit_%28psychology%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_memory

[–]nerfdude 29 points30 points ago

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seriously, i've walked off with lighters many a time unintentionally. i'm not trying to retire on half-used bics.

[–]drunk2407 9 points10 points ago

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I do, and I use those as an excuse. Hihihhi.

[–]rannic 10 points11 points ago

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Then you are my SWORN ENEMY

[–]NBAallstar 8 points9 points ago

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I wouldn't say "never", especially at parties, but as someone who has accidentally pocketed lighters I'll be the first to admit it happens.

[–]CoxnGoblins 1 point2 points ago

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I have ... Deliberately...I waged war on a friend who would always end up with my lighters so began a campaign of covert lighter jacking.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]painkilller 1 point2 points ago

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Ye scumbags made a habit of borrowing a lighter from another person, lighting up and pocketing it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]timeformetofly 4 points5 points ago

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Yes, you either come home with none or 2 or 3 of someone else's.

[–]fetuslasvegas 2 points3 points ago

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My personal favorite is finding 10 lighters behind the couch and having them all disappear the next day.

[–]nf5 1 point2 points ago

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the time im most stoned is the time directly after i just hit it...and thus the time when i make stupid choices like pocketing your lighter.

however, i remedied the situation by going to rite-aid and buying those 8-packs of lighters, and i just stash em everywhere. convinient stuff

[–]correct_spelling 1 point2 points ago

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*convenient

[–]Skitrel 1 point2 points ago

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Americans have cheap cigarettes... Try £7 for a pack of 20.

[–]Londron 5 points6 points ago

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Americans always complain about fuelprices, cig prices etc. while they in general have it pretty cheap yea...

[–]YNinja58 2 points3 points ago

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Try opening that pack a day before payday in the army. Soldiers are the biggest cigarette bums I've ever met. Before I quit I was spending at least $6 a day between my smokes and my buddies bumming.

[–]just_uss 1 point2 points ago

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Came here to say this. Gave away about a half a pack at a club a few nights ago to people I don't know... I don't know how to say no!

[–]quickgold192 1 point2 points ago

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Try opening a bag of weed at a concert.

[–]aesamattki 44 points45 points ago

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Kurosawa?

[–]The_Adventurist 29 points30 points ago

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Yep, Sanjuro.

[–]kielbasa330 6 points7 points ago

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Fucking Netflix. This was in my instant queue forever and now it's been pulled. Now that I have no job.

"That's not fair...That's not fair...There was time now..."

[–]lediablerouge 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sure you'll find a way. It's a good movie, maybe better than Yojimbo.

[–]aesamattki 5 points6 points ago

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Awesome movie. Yojimbo is my favorite though.

[–]The_Adventurist 1 point2 points ago

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The Hidden Fortress is my favorite, but Yojimbo is a close second. Sword versus gun samurai duel, how much cooler can you get?

[–]Yreval 3 points4 points ago

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It's got Toshiro Mifune--it's gotta be!

[–]The_Adventurist 17 points18 points ago

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I didn't see Mifune in that picture. I think those are all the guys who are studying from Mifune in Sanjuro, basically his little army.

[–]ultraoptms 6 points7 points ago

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I just looked at his wiki page recently and realized that he was the previous most interesting man on earth.

[–]HighCaliber 6 points7 points ago

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Mifune is the main character of the movie, but he's not in that shot.

[–]dannynewidea 107 points108 points ago

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The third one's eyebrow lift killed me.

[–]GeorgeWalkerKush 70 points71 points ago

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OH NO ARE YOU OKAY!?

[–]Scheme84 36 points37 points ago

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I'm afraid not. He's dead.

[–]azurleaf 18 points19 points ago

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He's dead Jim...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago

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Every time I'm about to tell a slightly racist joke.

[–]bleyva 3 points4 points ago

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oooo I know that feel

[–]SP121 46 points47 points ago*

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This was just posted 7 hours ago and featured on the front page. Am I just crazy?

Edit: I don't even care about reposts, but COME ON.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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Ive been revising (browsing reddit) all day and I didnt even see that

[–]kujo2 6 points7 points ago

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YES IT WAS ಠ_ಠ. I saw it in /r/gifs

Edit: There it is

[–]painkilller 2 points3 points ago

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Well it's completely different message... consider it fixed version.

[–]brocahantas 14 points15 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]aardwolf 98 points99 points ago

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Akira Kurosawa's 'Sanjuro'

[–]amaxen 13 points14 points ago

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One of my favorites, actually. This is both an action movie and a dramatic intellectual chess game between the main character and the villain.

[–]sweddit 27 points28 points ago

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Brilliant movie.

[–]MishterJ 12 points13 points ago

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came here to say this. most of kurosawa's movies are though!

[–]Injustpotato 6 points7 points ago

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Toshiro Mifune is also an amazing actor.

[–]lingrush 10 points11 points ago

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It's the lightest Kurosawa movie I know of (it's a light comedy, reminiscent of Groucho Marx movies, except with Samurais and other kinds of Japanese things) . A lot of his other movies are amazing (Especially Hidden Fortress and Yojimbo) but they depress me because Japanese people have to be all dark and morbid and stuff.

[–]Mr_A 4 points5 points ago

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Serious question, but unrelated: I went to watch Seven Samurai for the first time a couple weeks back, but the video quality was terrible - scratches all over the screen and noticable audio pops and crackles all over the soundtrack - and this was on television, too. My question is, is that as good as it gets, or is there a clean version out there? If I go to buy it on DVD, am I going to get screwed buying such a crinkly video or has it been cleaned up since and that TV station just has a shit copy for some reason?

[–]LiterallyIronic 1 point2 points ago

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The Criterion Collection is reliable. They tend to have interesting special features as well if you're at all interested in a deeper understanding of how the movies work.

[–]Icsifil 1 point2 points ago

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What was the movie about waiting at a gate and talking about a conviction again?

[–]Mythnam 2 points3 points ago

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Rashomon.

[–]Hookhand 19 points20 points ago

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Oh man, you're lucky. I wish I could see it for the first time, too.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Hookhand 17 points18 points ago

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Don't forget Yojimbo, too.

[–]rddtgmr 10 points11 points ago

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Yes, watch Yojimbo first. Sanjurao is sort of a sequel to Yojimbo.

[–]The_Adventurist 28 points29 points ago

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You haven't seen Sanjuro? Make sure you see Yojimbo first, though. Sanjuro is the sequel. Yojimbo is the most badass samurai movie ever. A Fistful of Dollars is basically a shot for shot remake of it, except everyone has guns instead of swords, making the fighting less cool.

[–]paniq 2 points3 points ago

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Everytime I learn about another Kurosawa movie I've missed I'm like "thank God, there's more!"

[–]squeamish_ossifrage 1 point2 points ago

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My personal favorite is the two part Sanshiro Sugata (which is part of the First Films of Akira Kurosawa Collection) Followed very closely by Redbeard and Ikiru.

[–]Injustpotato 1 point2 points ago

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Clint Eastwood was based off of Toshiro Mifune's character.

[–]ShinshinRenma 2 points3 points ago

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TIL Clint Eastwood's parents were magicians.

[–]romieyo 8 points9 points ago

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If you haven't seen Kurosawa's samurai films, then there are hundred of samurai films you haven't seen. Sanjuro is extremely far from obscurity. Most everybody who deals in cinema has seen it.

[–]Tomservo3 28 points29 points ago

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[–]ConstipatedNinja 4 points5 points ago

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Damn you! I had to count the number of times "what" was said and compare it to the number of people. However, due to your username, I'm now thinking of MST3K, so I don't know if I'm happy or upset just yet.

I'll get back to you on that.

[–]DougisonFire 4 points5 points ago

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Downvote me if you must, but I feel the new title is what really makes it funny.

[–]rjostrand 5 points6 points ago

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Upvote for the Sanjuro reference. I actually like this just a little bit more than Yojimbo. They're both awesome, though.

[–]lxUn1c0 2 points3 points ago

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Sanjuro's storyline is just a little bit more emotionally captivating. Yojimbo's great, but it doesn't make you feel for the plight of the characters like the sequel does.

[–]chrono1465 2 points3 points ago

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I do admit, Sanjuro drives a decent amount of humor, especially for a samurai movie.

[–]NinetyThirdDoctor 2 points3 points ago

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I thought it was more like this.

[–]Arekku 4 points5 points ago

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  1. Empty an asprin bottle
  2. Fill with gum
  3. ??
  4. Profit!

[–]karpata 8 points9 points ago

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Why did Japanese people shave their heads like that?

[–]emkat 20 points21 points ago

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It was originally a method of using hair to hold a samurai helmet steady atop the head in battle, and became a status symbol among Japanese society.

According to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chonmage

[–]karpata 4 points5 points ago

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Thank you! Very interesting.

[–]failingfreely 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you. I was always curious, I just assumed it was a fashion thing.

[–]amaxen 7 points8 points ago

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Part of it was a status thing - how you wore your hair advertised your place in society. If you were a samurai you had that 'warrior haircut' that was originally designed to help hold your helmet in place. If you were a priest you were bald, etc. There's actually a brilliant scene in 'The Seven Samurai' where the leader shaves his head to impersonate a priest, and the faces of the peasants reacting to him doing so communicates both a) how strong social roles and customs were and b) how much the main character didn't give a fuck about how he was perceived.

[–]crownedsparrow 1 point2 points ago

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Please someone explain!

[–]churro89 3 points4 points ago

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Your pack of gum brings all the Japanese to the yard?

[–]michaeldavidwatson 1 point2 points ago

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I love this flick. There's just something about Akira Kurosawa movies.

[–]saladpower 1 point2 points ago

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I solve this problem by chewing Big Red. For some reason, it makes half the hands go away when they find out what it is. More for me.

[–]Scipion 1 point2 points ago

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I haven't had that in forever, pass a piece over this way.

[–]TheFNG 1 point2 points ago

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This is too true. I bought the gum for myself, not for all my classmates.

[–]BobbleBobbleBobble 1 point2 points ago

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What movie is that?

[–]Planet-man 1 point2 points ago

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Clicked on this saying "this better not be those Finding Nemo seagulls". Was pleasantly surprised.

[–]deskrabbitLAMF 1 point2 points ago

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upvote all mentions of Kurosawa!

[–]johnny_gunn 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, this joke again.

[–]mattylsd 1 point2 points ago

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I observed a kid in my class in middle school giving away daily amounts of candy away so they were friendly. He was a constant victim of bullying. Felt sorry for the kid, never took his candy and was still nice to him.

[–]mi-16evil 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for Sanjuro!

[–]baronromulus 1 point2 points ago

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More like every time I take a cigarette out of my pack in a public place.

[–]zenazure 1 point2 points ago

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Kurosawa for the win

[–]pcnerd37 1 point2 points ago

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Glad I don't chew gum.

[–]TsubakiSanjuro 1 point2 points ago

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If I am not mistaken thats from the movie Tsubaki Sanjuro! :-)

[–]McMadcat 1 point2 points ago

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Suddenry...Asians!

[–]lucas-hanson 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for the use of Kurosawa.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 4 points5 points ago

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Bald Asians spring forth from the floor?

That's badass, especially for someone "in class."

[–]alcakd 4 points5 points ago

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He's a student at the League of Assassins.

[–]Dapwell 2 points3 points ago

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Asians pop out of the floor?!?

[–]Herborist 2 points3 points ago

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It's like there's a fucking bus of people that follows me around in case I pull out some gum or cigarettes.

[–]scudd 0 points1 point ago

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Boy, It's lucky you had these compartments...

[–]bleachnlot 0 points1 point ago

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It reminds me of the bat infestation roof video. Is that weird?

[–]sakulicious 0 points1 point ago

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So you're visiting a Shaolin school or something like that?

[–]tankosaurus 0 points1 point ago

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Level of desire to be the best at everything ergo forcing them to take extreme measures at finding the best hide and seek hiding place : Asian

[–]geekender 0 points1 point ago

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[–]sumano 0 points1 point ago

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hmm I have a similar problem with busting out weed anywhere

[–]nick041 0 points1 point ago

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I am loving all these Toshiro Mifune movie references on Reddit lately.

[–]TheGroosenator 0 points1 point ago

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And then they find out it's Dentyne.

[–]abgazelle 0 points1 point ago

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SANJURO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]ChewbaccasAbortion 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe in middle school.

[–]uB166ERu 0 points1 point ago

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what movie is that from?

[–]PrismSC 0 points1 point ago

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Math major I assume.

[–]Rockon66 0 points1 point ago

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The first one never blinks!

[–]Qaplalala 0 points1 point ago

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You go to a weird school.

[–]Braude 0 points1 point ago

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Open a pack of gum, you have 4 new best friends. 1 minute later they're just acquaintances again.

[–]starlinguk 0 points1 point ago

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At my school a ninja (=teacher) would have had it out of your hands in 2 seconds flat. No gum chewing allowed. Can't blame 'em, it must be terrible to look at all those masticating students all day.

[–]Tech_Fox 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote. I use to despise that shit. Every time I brought some candy to class with me I would have to be ninja silent about it. If one person happened to hear the crinkling of a candy bag at my desk, I would be utterly fucked.

[–]thekingshorses 0 points1 point ago

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why everyone has lost hair except one guy?

[–]zadred 0 points1 point ago

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DAE read that as: "Every time I pack a gun in class"?

[–]Mapquestify 0 points1 point ago

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you're the idiot that opened gum in class

[–]t_rev99 0 points1 point ago

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I'm glad this link is more important than actual issues like this:

http://www.reddit.com/r/trees/comments/onpkw/i_know_most_of_you_ents_are_kind_and_empathetic/

[–]ekajrepus 0 points1 point ago

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I loled in a cab and had to explain. Thanks! And once more with a hint of sarcasm, thanks.

[–]Fruitlessfruittree 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was going to be a .gif of the birds that say, "Mine? Mine? Mine." off of Finding Nemo.

[–]Zexlos 0 points1 point ago

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I dont always log in to upvote.

but when i do its for post like this.

[–]thecolournerd 0 points1 point ago

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That was me in HS. I stopped sharing in university ;)

[–]JMaggot 0 points1 point ago

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When i take out a pack of gum i do so discreetly. Not so the teacher doesn't see it, but so my classmates don't.

[–]reeru 0 points1 point ago

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WHERE DO THEY COME FFROOMMM!!!!

[–]MyGoodApollo 0 points1 point ago

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That's just freaking genius!

[–]elijah_bs 0 points1 point ago

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So, you keep a bunch of Japanese following you all day?

[–]wats_3 0 points1 point ago

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that's what its like when i'm around my black friends.

[–]wheatfields 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone explain this? How does this analogy relate to chewing gum?

[–]oer6000 0 points1 point ago

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[–]theghostofme 0 points1 point ago

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With this joke being reused so often on Reddit, I'm surprised none of you have learned not to open gum in class.

[–]freddieramos 0 points1 point ago

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Lol, exactly

[–]SlyFox28 0 points1 point ago

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looks like the guys from MXC

[–]ADEEEEM 0 points1 point ago

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Are you an IT major?

[–]Alexa1234567890 0 points1 point ago

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What.. Half bald Asian men pop out of the floor? I don't think that's normal, you should probably get that checked out asap

[–]ajw827 0 points1 point ago

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I get the same reaction at work? Does no one buy gum anymore? Every tine I bring mine out, they act like it's some kind of rare delicacy.

[–]mesosorry 0 points1 point ago

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deta deta

[–]CarnCarby 0 points1 point ago

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SUPPLIES! :D

[–]j1mb0 0 points1 point ago

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Totally clicked this expecting to see the "Mine." seagulls from Finding Nemo.

[–]iAurion 0 points1 point ago

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Mine?

[–]kernalsand 0 points1 point ago

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your school should probably get that checked out.

[–]skytiger859 0 points1 point ago

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can i have one? and me? andme?andme?andme?andme? :O AAAHHHHH!!!!

[–]UnknownArchive 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
what? what? what? what? what? what? what? what? what? 27coms 371pts 8hrs gifs

source: karmadecay

[–]Dugggan 0 points1 point ago

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pure classic

[–]derp069 0 points1 point ago

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Im pretty slaves hid under floor boards!

[–]yeathatguy 0 points1 point ago

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That's racist!

[–]Xcissors 0 points1 point ago

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Last dude headbutts the second to last... no fucks given

[–]finallymadeanaccount 0 points1 point ago

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Is that what the noise is under my rug?

[–]CaptainRandus 0 points1 point ago

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Ninja's pop out?

[–]awertz23 0 points1 point ago

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Sanjuro!

[–]fishbutt314 0 points1 point ago

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Advice an old friend gave years ago, "hide your smokes, candy and money in college because everybody will want to mooch off you."

[–]zaqattaq91 0 points1 point ago

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what is this from?

[–]Valefox 0 points1 point ago

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My friend and I created a video based upon this phenomenon back in high school.

Can I have one?

[–]AtxAxLoss 0 points1 point ago

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Yojimbo in gaming, Sanjuro in funny. It's a good week.

[–]ShmoopyGuy 0 points1 point ago

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Imagine that actually happening. FUCK. Sorry guys I'l go back to /r/Trees now.

[–]freemen53421 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me or does one of them look like jackie chan?

[–]PhoenixSS 0 points1 point ago

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"Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece? Can I have a piece?"

[–]loni_xia_fox 0 points1 point ago

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everyone who wants gum from me is asian.

[–]bricardo 0 points1 point ago

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[–]FutureKing 0 points1 point ago

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Dude seriously, a pack of gum will last one class period if you get too friendly with it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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So much high school in this thread.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That was creepy.

[–]ZeeHanzenShwanz 0 points1 point ago

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What were they doing down there, and what caused their mass balding?

[–]powerfat 0 points1 point ago

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I like how all but one are balding

[–]Rockymowen 0 points1 point ago

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aww yeah seven samurai !!

[–]rowenharu 0 points1 point ago

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i never thought a scene from seven samurai would be so relevant to greedy gum takers "

[–]ninjagummybear 0 points1 point ago

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A bunch of Asians pop out of the floor?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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So, every time you open a pack of gum... You have hoards of Asian people popping out of woodwork? This is truly a sad day...