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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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all 123 comments

[–]xcforlife 77 points78 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

SPOON IS OKAY

[–]jagdwire 46 points47 points ago

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SPORK, YOU'RE PUSHING IT

[–]IAmAWhaleSexologist 9 points10 points ago

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What if I use a spork and a knife?

[–]NitroViolets 12 points13 points ago

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Chopsticks?

[–]Tweeeked 4 points5 points ago

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Luckily, it says nothing about knorks!

[–]buzzKillington1 5 points6 points ago

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i love you, nobody else ever knows wtf i'm talking about when i bring up knorks or snowflake day which is coming up quite soon btw

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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We eat our mistakes here.

[–]Randomdouchetroll 0 points1 point ago

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Texas?

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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YOU!

[–]Randomdouchetroll 0 points1 point ago

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Haven't seen you in a while.

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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Nor I you.

[–]omegawoot 1 point2 points ago

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Spoon is more than okay! They're awesome....

[–]cyber_rigger 0 points1 point ago

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SPOON IS OKAY

Yeah if you like coffee soup.

Hey, what a great idea!

[–]actu 0 points1 point ago

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"that is a spoon" - Ysgramor

[–]metalmilitia182 -1 points0 points ago

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But what if your spoon is to big....

[–]kuyacyph 51 points52 points ago

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[–]vodkamartini 11 points12 points ago

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I can't, sir, it's liquid.

[–]booooooooooooosh 12 points13 points ago

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Then you freeze it first. Do I have to come up with all the answers for you? And if I find one dog hair, I'm going to rub sand into your beady little eyes. Also, I'm going to need you to go pick up sand. I don't know if they grade it, but....coarse.

[–]daela 2 points3 points ago

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sigh Yes sir...

[–]Mybrainmelts 3 points4 points ago

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Now, you two fight to the death.

[–]daela 0 points1 point ago

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Wrong show... but I also loved that scene.

[–]Rystic 2 points3 points ago

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It's actually seamlessly zig-zagging between Archer and Family Guy.

[–]daela 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, I just assumed it was unintentional

[–]down_vote_magnet 35 points36 points ago

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[–]michallewtak 13 points14 points ago

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Are you Polish?

[–]ThomasElement 8 points9 points ago

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I am. Why would ask that?

[–]michallewtak 8 points9 points ago

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Because I'm Polish too. And I understand that picture.

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[–]ThomasElement 1 point2 points ago

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:) ziomek :)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]michallewtak 9 points10 points ago

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Milk is being cut, and all your arguments are therefore invalid.

Nah, it's just something in between milk and cheese.

[–]Colostomy 7 points8 points ago

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Meese.

Chilk.

No, it's just hard milk.

[–]michallewtak 2 points3 points ago

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Manly milk.

[–]ProffesorRocketThing 0 points1 point ago

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Co za asy...

[–]TheLoveKraken 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Ioncannon 3 points4 points ago

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Kefir?

[–]lud1120 7 points8 points ago

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I like the cut of your milk.

[–]eternauta3k 1 point2 points ago

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Is that homemade cheese?

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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That is cheese.

[–]sprankton 0 points1 point ago

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Why are you ruining that knife? The tip is going to be dulled because you're dragging it across the bottom of your pot.

[–]iamayam 2 points3 points ago

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...into pieces?

[–]KaylaS 1 point2 points ago

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THIS IS MY PLASTIC FORK!

[–]mastersprinkles 1 point2 points ago

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Bill Nye the Science Guy rolling in the grave.

[–]my_name_isnt_clever 2 points3 points ago

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Bill isn't dead...

[–]mastersprinkles 1 point2 points ago

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I was speaking of the video making funny-guy Bill that we used to watch on videos years ago. The character Bill Nye the Science Guy.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 4 points5 points ago

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Ok, UPVOTE and move on then.

[–]FlexorCarpiUlnaris -4 points-3 points ago

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I was going to post this. Glad that it is already top comment.

[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 2 points3 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]5h1tface 14 points15 points ago

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Upvoted for seeing this on Facebook before Reddit... (awaits world to end)

[–]waytounsure[S] 11 points12 points ago

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That means i must know you.....WHO IS IT?!?!?!? ill be asking myself for at least half an hour

[–]AquaNeito 13 points14 points ago

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OMG WE HAVE A REDDIT MEETUP . THIS IS GOING TO BE AWKWARD.

[–]koviko 5 points6 points ago

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Half hour's up.

[–]waytounsure[S] 5 points6 points ago

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I did my research. I found out. Crackin' the codes.

[–]lefixx 11 points12 points ago

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Is he really a shitface?

[–]waytounsure[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Nah i'm sure he's not a shit face, but the guy below is...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]waytounsure[S] 1 point2 points ago

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only joking babes

[–]Eorlund_Gray-Mane 1 point2 points ago

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Got a lot of steel to shape.

[–]crazymonkey159 1 point2 points ago

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Valid point

[–]Itsmiroki 1 point2 points ago

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Nords don't need blades to cut

[–]fromkentucky 1 point2 points ago

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Obviously, you're supposed to eat with your hands.

[–]Today_is_Thursday 1 point2 points ago

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Chopsticks pick up those beans way better.

[–]my_name_isnt_clever 1 point2 points ago

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:O it is thursday...

[–]Today_is_Thursday 1 point2 points ago

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You're welcome.

[–]japanesebikini 1 point2 points ago

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Because that's how you get ants ...

[–]Oelund 1 point2 points ago

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You know a coffee is really good when you can eat it with a knife and fork.

[–]wee_man 1 point2 points ago

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To be fair, some people just like to be challenged.

[–]SakiSumo 1 point2 points ago

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Im curious as to what is said originally?

[–]MatthewMatic 0 points1 point ago

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I would guess something like "food and drink not permitted in this area"

[–]s0bmarine 1 point2 points ago

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Do not eat knife with coffee and fork.

[–]netzacon 1 point2 points ago

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No fraternizing among the dishware. Too much diversity. Cups in the cupboard, silver in the trays. No mingling. Back to work!

[–]machinedramon 1 point2 points ago

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This is how you get ants.

[–]prestidigibator 1 point2 points ago

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I used to drink chocolate milk with a fork. I guess, I am a paragon of patience because one glass could take at least an hour to drink. I believe my motivation was to prolong the chocolaty goodness for as long as possible.

[–]Wizardinth3attic 2 points3 points ago

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You obviously put the paper over it.....its probably a no food or drink sign

[–]waytounsure[S] 8 points9 points ago

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YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT AREN'T YOU... but no, i didn't put the paper over it. I can not take credit for this piece of work, just the sharing of it, to the world.

[–]Wizardinth3attic 1 point2 points ago

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Whoever did it does have a good sense of humor tho

[–]omegawoot 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Wizardinth3attic 0 points1 point ago

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Your welcome good citizen. Its my duty as captain obvious to point out the obvious things in life. Im gkad you noticed

[–]Oiman 0 points1 point ago

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You, yea you, you're a funny guy...

[–]martymcflyer 0 points1 point ago

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Wait so you can still drink it with out the fork and knife! LoooopHoooooles!

[–]FlexorCarpiUlnaris 0 points1 point ago

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That's some good advice. Thanks for sharing.

[–]MuzzyBeag 0 points1 point ago

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Chuck Norris could do it, just saying like.

[–]AZJeepDude 0 points1 point ago

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You should totally submit this to Safety Graphics

[–]GenTso 0 points1 point ago

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Gotta love corporate logic.

[–]xymurr 0 points1 point ago

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what about tea?

[–]worldisbetternow 0 points1 point ago

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Why would anybody want to carry a knife and a fork for coffee! Chopsticks should be enough. It's a dumb sign.

[–]cookthemansomeeggs 0 points1 point ago

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Pffft.The fool doesn't even know when he sees a tea cup and saucer.

[–]HighwireAct 0 points1 point ago

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No eating coffee with knives and forks, or calling each other names like "Dork."

[–]burgess_meredith_jr 0 points1 point ago

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"Made this at work today...."

FTFU

[–]erikaddc 0 points1 point ago

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:)

[–]goatse911 0 points1 point ago

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Because that's how you get ants!

[–]retardo-montoban 0 points1 point ago

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It's all in the wrist.

[–]MattCarroll 0 points1 point ago

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i'd like to post that in my caf. some folks could use the help.

[–]FlappyTheNarwhal 0 points1 point ago

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Sigh

Everything is there for a reason

[–]FolloweroftheAtom 0 points1 point ago

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misread as "Found this ART WORK today....."

[–]efratco6319 0 points1 point ago

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A very wise advise.

[–]nocoupons 0 points1 point ago

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...or do it. I'm a sign not a cop.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Aspergers humor

[–]3danimator 0 points1 point ago

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Thats not funny.

[–]fuckyou_space 0 points1 point ago

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Not as threatening as Geneva. If you pick their flowers, they slit your wrists.

Dogs are cool though.

[–]Lilcheeks 0 points1 point ago

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Mebbee dey froze it n need forky knife

[–]UpvoteAllOfThePosts 0 points1 point ago

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Upvotes for everyone!

Have a great day all! ^_^

[–]Maxmanta 0 points1 point ago

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Shovel? Or is that considered a spoon?

[–]actu 0 points1 point ago

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Ysgramor does.

[–]german80 0 points1 point ago

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This has CHALLENGE ACCEPTED written all over it

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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I'll do what I want!

[–]Jeff25rs 0 points1 point ago

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I've been doing things like this at my work over the past few years. It seems the office's combined sense of humor has been dwindling every year.

Out of curiosity, let us know how long it stays up.

[–]waytounsure[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Will do. I think its prob up to me to get rid of it, but that won't be happening. 4 days so far

[–]StumpHarvey 0 points1 point ago

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Sporks questionable, still frowned upon.

[–]Ixuvia -1 points0 points ago

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Reminds me of this (more specifically, his choice of cutlery).

[–]yParticle 1 point2 points ago

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That was so three years ago, almost to the decade.

[–]down_vote_magnet 0 points1 point ago

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I stooped, I recall, to pick a buttercup. Why people leave buttocks lying around, I've no idea.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]rjberry 1 point2 points ago

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Lol someone's taped over the original sign, which is probably "no food or drink past this point"

[–]polarbear_15 13 points14 points ago

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[–]justkilc 2 points3 points ago

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[–]rjberry 2 points3 points ago

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They didn't get it, I was being helpful!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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At your work place ?

[–]ifNOTmeTHENwho -1 points0 points ago

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How about just don't eat or drink at work? Make a mess at your own "home".