top 200 commentsshow all 244

[–]smeezy 351 points352 points ago

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This is nice, but unfortunately, I find this isn't true. It's not the volume of traumatic experiences that matter, it's their salience.

A single traumatic experience, no matter how small it is compared to your entire memory, can remain at the forefront of your thoughts and affect your daily life.

The only way I know to "neuter" these traumatic peaks is to accept them as part of your life. You can neither change them, nor deny them. When you accept them as historical facts, stripped from their emotional salience, then you can move on.

[–]Odusei 118 points119 points ago

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PTSD is certainly a wrinkle in this philosophy.

[–]jon_titor 111 points112 points ago*

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As is regular ol' depression.

When you spend months or years not being able to think about anything other than the myriad of ways that you've fucked up in the past it sort of puts a damper on it.

Oh, you can also sometimes think about suicide too. Fun stuff.

Also, this graphic makes it appear like you only fuck up once, early on in your life. Realistically, that larger circle representing more "life experiences" should also be filled with many more similar sized blue shitty circles. Whether or not the percentage of shittiness changes throughout your life isn't completely cut and dry.

I'm a cheerful person. :)

[–]miss_anthro_p 28 points29 points ago

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Couldn't agree more. Besides, sometimes sadness, depression and bad days aren't about awful things that happen but the dullness and disappointment of countless good things that never did.

[–]jon_titor 3 points4 points ago

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That's very true, and a very relevant user name.

[–]depressing_truth 8 points9 points ago

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Depression: the realization of your worthlessness in the universe. You are one of a billion people who have been around for less than 200 years on a tiny planet floating through vast tracts of emptiness for billions of years.

[–]jon_titor 8 points9 points ago

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Not depressing: the realization that you essentially won the cosmic lottery and are among a (relatively speaking) very small number of beings that has the ability to try to make sense of it all and know the mind of the universe.

[–]depressing_truth 5 points6 points ago

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But who cares? Nobody will remember any of us in a millennium. Our lives are worthless...

[–]adam_von_indypants 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, but you're here. What does it matter if you're even remembered? You get to remember and you get to imagine and you sometimes you just get to be.

[–]Atrophist 1 point2 points ago

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existential ellipsis

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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If no one will remember you, they won't remember all of the shenanigans you get into. So go have a good time, since it won't negatively effect the universe in an appreciable way.

[–]andtheniansaid 1 point2 points ago

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And therefore, you are free

[–]LadyDarkKitten 0 points1 point ago

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WRONG. The Doctor will always remember us!

[–]Kinch_ 0 points1 point ago

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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a lot of people get swept up in this mindset. embrace your own individuality and understand that your life is completely unique.

[–]fdg456n 0 points1 point ago

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Depressing: It's completely impossible for us to do that?

[–]Odusei 1 point2 points ago

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Was the depression the result of your time travelling adventure? Did you fail, John Titor?

[–]jon_titor 2 points3 points ago

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It was the result of many things - some in my control, some not.

But, I believe that I emerged from the tunnel a better, more thoughtful and empathetic person, so at least there's that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Correction: This is the worst day of your life...so far.

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 1 point2 points ago

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The graphic would be more accurate if applied to an explanation of why time seems to speed up as you get older.

When you're six years old, a year is an awfully large percentage of your entire experience in life.

When you're 30, it's much less.

By the time you get to 80, it's a blink.

[–]neuromonkey 0 points1 point ago

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With one big blue circle.

[–]paganize 0 points1 point ago

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Sort of makes you wish you could just go back and change things.

Yes, I have spent a large portion of the latter half of my life regretting many of the things I did mainly in the first half. if the graphic was accurate, there would be many, many circles in different sizes, and different shades; the pale blue ones would be things I've either come to terms with, or managed to suppress enough that I don't think of them often. and little tiny yet neon blue ones that in some circumstances will be vibrant enough to obscure everything else.

I still think it's a fair analogy, just a little simplified.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Klinky1984 2 points3 points ago

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Often PTSD doesn't show up until after a soldier has returned. Being in "war mode" helps keep the soldier distracted. Later when they have time to reflect & have the stress of readjusting to normal life, that's often when PTSD rears it's head.

[–]mexicodoug 1 point2 points ago*

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Same with rape victims suffering from PTSD. "Getting fucked" on a regular basis mode, you know. Especially with children. Lots of times nobody has any idea that they suffer from PTSD until they are adults, and sometimes not even until years after the invading and occupying armies have withdrawn from their homelands.

Ask a Vietnam vet. One who was born and raised in Vietnam during the fifties, sixties, and seventies.

Or go interview somebody who was raised in Afghanistan or Iraq during the last decade or two what exactly PTSD is all about.

Or somebody who grew up and managed to survive in Central America during the influx of foreign soldiers there during the 1970s and '80s.

Fuck soldiers who invade foreign lands. No sympathy whatsoever. The minute they invade someone else's homeland they forgo any right to exist. If they survive the invasion and occupation may the rest of their existence be a living hell during both waking and sleeping hours. That's the least they should pay for the PTSD hell they inflicted upon others.

Same for rapists, too, even if they're not quite as evil as soldiers on foreign soil.

[–]Klinky1984 0 points1 point ago*

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Your only salient point is that PTSD can affect a wide swath of people, not just soldiers. I mentioned soldiers because that is who the person I was replying to was speaking of.

As far as your rant, which sounds like an anti-US rant & pretty much covers any soldier that was involved in a US lead conflict within the last 50 years, I am going to have to disagree with you. There are plenty of decent people who were or are soldiers & there were some conflicts that may have been worth the US getting involved in. Not all soldiers, even in the current stymied conflicts are evil or deserve PTSD. While it sucks that civilians are being put under duress from US interventionism, there have been plenty of non-US entities inflicting PTSD inducing behavior on their own populace for quite some time. Not to mention you also stipulate that PTSD is deserved of the invading force. The invading force is often not as easy to identify as something like the Iraq war. Take the "The Troubles" w/ IRA vs N. Ireland/Britian, Yoguslav War, The Killing Fields of Cambodia, Tamil Tigers of Sri Lanka & Tienanmen Square. The US had involvement in some of these conflicts, but the underlying issues were prevalent before the US intervention & the effect of US intervention may not have mattered much. The point is that there were parties already willing to inflict damage on each other & it's not always clear who owns what, who the invading force is & or who is right or wrong.

War is never good(but sometimes it's necessary). War is not the only reason for PTSD & war breaking out doesn't mean the people of that land were free from PTSD causing events before it broke out.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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My uncle told me that when something shitty happens to a person it continues to happen to them in a way because of the change in trajectory it makes to their life. For instance, someone is embarrassed as a child and they become very avoidant in social situations. Now they have that to deal with the lack of social skill compounding the issue as time goes on. I think ops picture is correct if you move on. Sometimes it's hard to let go and move on. The value in ops picture is in the hindsight of it. Move on and dilute the pain with experience.

[–]TallahasseWaffleHous 2 points3 points ago

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I just saw the movie "Magnolia" again last night... and I keep coming back to its central message:

"We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."

[–]inmate2[S] 12 points13 points ago

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All true.

I wasn't really looking as deep into as you, but thank goodness for the internet and intelligent discussion.

I think this is more for problems that aren't exactly "tragic" and for help with some short term coping until you have dealt with the problem. Like someone losing their job, the end of a relationship, maybe an accident.

[–]drubo 1 point2 points ago

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People can choose to classify their "bad shit" into two separate partitions this way, but that choice alone makes someone that much more prone to deal with their "extra bad shit bucket" experiences in an increasingly negative light.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know, I have a pretty bad mental illness and can't say for sure whether I will ever be free of it, but I have been in the past. I expected to be depressed by that fact while reading what you wrote, but I found myself hopeful and yearning instead. So, thanks.

[–]portablebiscuit 0 points1 point ago

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I've been through some pretty deep shit in my time (i.e. held my mom as she took her last breath, found my father-in-law after his suicide) many of which I didn't think I'd overcome at the time. I think your diagram perfectly illustrates how horrible events affect us.

Once you realize something is in the past, you take away its power. It can only hurt you again if you let it.

[–]NorthernerWuwu 4 points5 points ago

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Well, that and I also happen to have a number of those blue circles. They are likely almost exactly proportional to my age really.

The nice thing about being older though is that I am also callous and don't much give a fuck about them.

[–]officeninja 3 points4 points ago

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I like what you did here. I think that the white part can be grey for some that have lived through real horror. I watched my 13 y/o be born. I also watched him suffer and die from cancer. Now, I've accepted it. But I've also accepted that my life has been inexplicably changed. Ever happy moment is forever tempered with a great, deep, deep sadness that no amount of remembering the happy times will ever overcome. It is very much a part of me every single moment. It saddens me to think that I will never again know real, unfettered joy. But I do agree that the grey grows more than the blue.

[–]smeezy 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sorry about your loss.

[–]officeninja 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks. 4 years next week. And it looks like his dog has lymphoma. Life is full of hard moments that last and last with sprinkles of happiness thrown in to keep us breathing.

[–]thatsmyaibo 2 points3 points ago

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Also, doesn't more time = more possibility of shittier events?

[–]inmate2[S] 15 points16 points ago*

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Gonna try to hijack this top comment for a moment:

For anyone having a bad DAY. Not a bad life. Not a messed up miserable existence that was forced upon you...

AT NO POINT did I say or assume that this was the answer to life and the end of all pain in anyone's life. So far, I have been called a cunt, a condescending asshole, naive, and told to fuck off for posting this...

REALLY?! These assumptions can be readily made off of me posting this simple image? You should all be MASTER PSYCHOLOGISTS if you can be that intuitive and figure someone out so radically based off of one submission.

I already agreed with the comment I am currently hijacking that this probably does not apply in very tragic situations. Many people are assuming I have never experienced true pain or have any life experience whatsoever. I have never seen people become so offended over something so positive.

NOT EVERY POST ON THE FRONT PAGE IS FOR YOU. I battle with depression, I have thought about suicide, I have had terrible things happen to me, and lost people that I love. So, just so we're all on the same page...I'm also a human. If you want to take this as a personal insult that I posted specifically for you and get really mad about it...have a great time.

I'll be the one not worrying about one more problem you are adding to your life by raising your blood pressure over a positive image on a god damn website.

[–]ipoopedmyself 2 points3 points ago

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I think the problem with the image is the caption saying things like "mine is larger because I am older and have experienced a lot in my life time." I know it's meant to give perspective but it's also slightly condescending. maybe that blue dot grows proportionally with age for some people? it's just overly simplistic. The sentiment is there. Some people do take things extremely personally but when it comes to having their traumas and experiences belittled because "someone is older than them and eventually you'll get over it", of course they will get defensive.

[–]ipoopedmyself 2 points3 points ago

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also people who often relive their traumas get frustrated by people who constantly tell them things like "time heals all wounds" "you'll understand when you're older" "everything happens for a reason", etc. It's frustrating to have your experiences and feelings so easily dismissed with some overly simplistic feel good quote.

[–]RoboGal 6 points7 points ago

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I have never seen people become so offended over something so positive.

If you want to take this as a personal insult that I posted specifically for you and get really mad about it...have a great time.

...one more problem you are adding to your life by raising your blood pressure over a positive image on a god damn website.

Sadly, that seems to be reddit on the whole. Sure, that may be a sweeping generalization, but that doesn't make it any less true (at least the way I see it). It's rather sad.

For what it's worth, I liked your pic.

[–]Nurgle 6 points7 points ago

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   i miss her terribly still. 

[–]sugardeath 7 points8 points ago

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We all do, man, we all do.

[–]the_hmm 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, she was kind of a bitch though.

[–]tmm1641 1 point2 points ago

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Prime Example: Kite Runner..."For you a thousand times over"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You just encapsulated the evolution of how I am overcoming my most recent negative event. Over time I have learned to discuss what happened on a factual basis with people close to me. My rants used to be angry and full of hatred. Now, I am a lot more straightforward and objective. Even discuss in an empathetic way those that did harm to me. There is a lot of power in being able to coolly discuss the other person's point of view. It gives you some kind of authority or feeling of control over the event.

Kudos.

[–]stanbeard 1 point2 points ago

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You said what I came to say so much better than I could have. Thanks.

[–]Ishtar3 1 point2 points ago

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Oddly enough, I find your response much more helpful than the original post!

[–]Lothrazar 0 points1 point ago

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The OP didnt say anything about denying them or changing them.

[–]twatson420 0 points1 point ago

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I found this also not true for people in prison.

[–]Bonki_ 0 points1 point ago

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The volume of traumatic experiences? Read the chart again, it says that the blue circle represents ONE negative event.

[–]plinky4 129 points130 points ago

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What that platitude doesn't tell you is that your big circle is chock full of little blue circles.

[–]stiff_sock 61 points62 points ago

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You mean I'm going to have more than one bad day in my lifetime?

[–]pinky_andthe_brain 17 points18 points ago

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MADNESS.

[–]notjawn 1 point2 points ago

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PREPOSTEROUS!

[–]wolfsleepy 3 points4 points ago

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SO YOU HAD A BAD DAY

[–]6995 2 points3 points ago

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I hate that song.

[–]Pandajuice22 0 points1 point ago

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Fantasy football.... All over again

[–]sunkid 13 points14 points ago

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I agree with you, although the point still stands if you are just focusing on one single event in your life, which my teenage daughter, for example, is wont to do. Also, those other blue circles in my larger big circle all have different shades of blue and continue to fade.

[–]baddox 2 points3 points ago

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Yep. As old ones become relatively smaller over time, new ones steadily enter the picture.

[–]magicbeerbelly 31 points32 points ago

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I see two weird boobies

[–]SvenHudson 14 points15 points ago

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And doesn't that put it all in perspective?

[–]raffytraffy 2 points3 points ago

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it made me feel better about my day.

[–]HaroldHood 2 points3 points ago

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Bigger boobs + smaller nipple proportion = happiness?

I dunno about that. I think Arrested Development on repeat with broccoli and pot = happiness.

[–]spherenine 2 points3 points ago

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I see a derpy face.

[–]nekolalia 0 points1 point ago

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Came here to say this. Glad I'm not the only one.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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There's a white smudge in your picture.

[–]cor315 15 points16 points ago

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Ah yes that one good moment I had in life. I vaguely remember that.

[–]smeotr 6 points7 points ago

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sigh

[–]poo-poo 3 points4 points ago

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Sadly true.

[–]gliscameria 14 points15 points ago

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Bullshit.

Sincerely, Getting Old and Bitter

[–]iamapizza 27 points28 points ago

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Don't forget to smile

[–]Mossbreath 6 points7 points ago

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Quasimodo?

[–]thetobester 0 points1 point ago

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[–]jake700 8 points9 points ago

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What if horrible things happen to you over and over for many years, making the blue dot grow and stay in accordance to the life circle?

[–]plus69 1 point2 points ago

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I couldnt help thinking the same thing about this diagram. Everyone should check out this ted talk with a related message.. really changed the way I think

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

[–]OTN 8 points9 points ago

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Very true- only rarely now do I think of my divorce. At the time, though, so traumatic.

[–]soulteepee 24 points25 points ago

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This is wonderful. As a person who is close to being fifty years old, I can attest this is absolutely true.

I am also a person who has been raped twice and I've been homeless. I'm an alcoholic and an ex-drug-user.

I'm now a happy woman married to a wonderful man, financially solid and living in a cozy and loving home of my own.

[–]teslaandme 2 points3 points ago

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r/randomactsofpizza...

[–]soulteepee 2 points3 points ago

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I'm kind of new here...I don't understand...

[–]teslaandme 4 points5 points ago

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It is a subreddit that involves buying a stranger/redditor a pizza. I suggested, since you have had a rough life, and have been homeless (I assume this entails lack of food) now you are finically stable, it would be nice to Pay It Forward. [Just a suggestion]

[–]soulteepee 4 points5 points ago

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Oh! That sounds like a wonderful idea! Thank you!

[–]Tallon 1 point2 points ago

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Congratulations on your turnaround! I'm sure you used your fair share of soul TP to get there.

[–]soulteepee 1 point2 points ago

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thank you! Yeah, there were a lot of times I didn't think I'd survive it all.

[–]Edrondol 6 points7 points ago

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I'm typing this on my iPod sitting in the hospital next to my dying father. Your little blue dot theory can go fuck itself.

And I'm 46 so I know exactly what you are trying to say. I just think it's wrong. Not everything gets better or seems smaller with time.

[–]singdawg 13 points14 points ago

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There is a certain level of agism in this view. Think of this: who has more life experience, a 50 year old man that has spent the last 30 years of his life working in his office cubical or a 25 year old man who has spent the last 15 years of his life on the streets. Ultimately, perspectives are essentially incomparable. Some might see wisdom in this post, others may find nothing but erroneous hypocracy. There are no facts, only perspectives.

[–]sdbear 7 points8 points ago

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"There is no fool like an old fool," quoted a 71 year old sdbear.

[–]flavaaDAAAAAVE 1 point2 points ago

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Neither of them because 'life' isn't defined. You'd have a hard time assigning numeric value to either one, anyway.

[–]themorningbellss 2 points3 points ago

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Or this happens, and though you may think your life looks like a delicious blue chocolate chip cookie, that's only how it appears from the outside. To exist as that cookie is hellish.

[–]technovideoarcade 4 points5 points ago

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This doesn't take into consideration that negative events may vary in how serious they are, nor does it take into consideration the recentness of them.

This comparison makes no sense.

[–]Spurnout 3 points4 points ago

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Except for medical conditions that last with you for the rest of your life. meh...

[–]bobandy47 3 points4 points ago

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I saw two death stars upside down.

Then I thought of the people on Alderaan.

So for anyone having a bad day... at least you weren't on Alderaan!

[–]PeeBJAY 3 points4 points ago

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Not if the rest of your circle is filled in with blue shit too

[–]nicholas_urfe 11 points12 points ago

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Great. I feel so much better now someone who knows absolutely nothing about me has patronised me on the web. Cheers for that.

[–]crazybones 0 points1 point ago

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Bless you for that thought, my little one.

[–]ViscidGobs 2 points3 points ago

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It kind of looks like the perspective on cancer.

[–]stevesonaplane 0 points1 point ago

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What do you mean?

[–]usarmy973 2 points3 points ago

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I agree with this wholeheartedly. For a while I would offer advice to a teen internet forum, to help kids who needed advice, etc... So many of them wanted to kill themselves over a breakup where they have only dated the person for a few months. This is one of the things I tried to explain to them. Not many listened.

[–]apackollamas 2 points3 points ago

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This also explains why each day/month/year seems shorter than those in the past.

[–]CrapsOnEverything 2 points3 points ago

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That graphic looks like Thora Birch's boobies.

[–]ssjaken 2 points3 points ago

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I saw a study that explains time and its weight. When you are 20, five years is a quarter of your life. So the concept of 5 years is this giant huge long number that is almost impossible to comprehend. But when you turn 50, it's only a tenth of your lifespan so it's overall feeling is less. So on and so forth.

[–]Friendsown 2 points3 points ago

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"I'm up HERE, Michael..."

[–]SatelliteJane 2 points3 points ago

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If kids ever truly understood this, it would be the end of Tumblr

[–]vertigo42 2 points3 points ago

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"The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. " -The Doctor

[–]Hilby 2 points3 points ago

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I originally came here to say "Thanks" for posting this. I did have a rough day, and in fact the past 12 months have been really rough on this old guy (in comparison). But after reading these other replies, I'm surprised I even have the will to complete this.

Damnit Ive made some poor choices. I just want that one choice back.....I would give it all up......

[–]Machesis 2 points3 points ago

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Mmmm olives

[–]J_LaP 2 points3 points ago

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Just to show how a personal experience of my own completely proves this theory to be incorrect. I lost my older brother in a hit and run accident 2 and a half years ago. He was 24, I was 20, we were always very close, but had just formed a truely adult relationship, one that both of us assumed would be present for the rest of out lives. So that's my traumatic experience, but as my life continues, while my experiences will grow out from that, my brothers lack of presence there, will make the size of the traumatic experience grow. My wedding day will be a huge growth in the outer circle, but not having my brother, best friend and best man there, will make the inner circle grow. My children being born and growing without their uncle, not being his best man at what would have been his wedding, etc, etc, etc.

While I am sure that this theory could work for some situations, one that you can remove yourself from, there are a lot of situations that will shape your life, and impact the rest of your life, and those ones this just can't possibly apply to.

[–]scrotomus 2 points3 points ago

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Cool but I think age has very little to do with actual amount of life experienced.

[–]Firaga 2 points3 points ago

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OR the blue dot could be a really good experience. Maybe one day the happiest day of your life won't mean much to you because of your wider range of experiences.

[–]TMox 3 points4 points ago

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...unless your cat isn't photogenic, at which point, it hurts forever.

[–]diggernaught 2 points3 points ago

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Good try and all but what of the accumulation of negative events over your lifetime? Time does pass and help process however if you continue to build up negative experiences then you will have a larger proportion as you get older. Not to pee on the parade but the logic is not there.

[–]6995 4 points5 points ago

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I really wish I could get my nine year old to comprehend this.

[–]giveitago 15 points16 points ago

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He doesn't have the intellectual capacity, a nine year old brain is not just a smaller 40 year old brain. The other day I saw a kid crying because his mother wouldn't let him put quarters in a dryer. That's really crazy but I was thinking when was the last time I was insanely stoked about putting quarters in a dryer.

[–]navarone21 2 points3 points ago

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It was the day you realized you were now more qualified to do it than a nine year old.

[–]killerstorm 1 point2 points ago

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Well, it's nine year old we are talking about, not three year old. That's quite a difference. I don't think that 'this' requires so much intellectual capacity that nine year old won't comprehend.

But it might require some experience to see an analogy, e.g. "X was scary to me before, but now I don't really give a fuck".

[–]FordSVT1 1 point2 points ago

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I dunno... I think this kind of perspective really is an experience thing.

Look at people who are bullied in high school, the topic comes up on Reddit quite often. You can tell them all day long that "in the long run" their difficulties won't matter as much, but "the now" is very important to a young mind that essentially lives in the moment.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Exactly. Until a person has the experience to know that shit passes, it's hard to convince them of that possibility. And until they've learned it themselves, it's important not to dismiss the pain they're in in the present, because to them, it's all they know.

[–]6995 0 points1 point ago

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It's just hard to find the analogy.. and "don't give a fuck" is probably not good parenting. :P

[–]flavaaDAAAAAVE 0 points1 point ago

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Even at 9 everything is still new.

[–]6995 5 points6 points ago

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Also, you might wanna cross post to /r/getmotivated.

[–]inmate2[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Done. Good call

[–]garthock 1 point2 points ago

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TL;DR Time heals all wounds.

[–]TheEngine 1 point2 points ago

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That, and someday you're going to die. So your day so far isn't really that bad. Unless you're being waterboarded, and then wow, your day really does suck.

[–]mamjjasond 1 point2 points ago

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Good choice of reddit. What a wacky, crazy, funny sentiment.

[–]Obvious0ne 1 point2 points ago

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That's no moon...

[–]0311 1 point2 points ago

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I actually used to rationalize things like this when I was younger. I'd say, "Well, this won't matter as much in 2 months" or "This won't matter in as much 5 years" depending on how bad the event/experience was. Helped me get through some stuff!

[–]Dead_Rooster 1 point2 points ago

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The blue circles are ovals, not circles. Just saying.

[–]Torisen 1 point2 points ago

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BONUS: when you get this old and have so many experiences, chances are good you'll have trouble remembering ANY of them clearly or at all, good or bad!

[–]sdbear 1 point2 points ago

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"Kids today," said sdbear while shaking his head.

[–]zloon 1 point2 points ago

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Alternative text for pessimists:

The large circle represent our relative life experiences. Mine is larger because I am older and have experienced a lot in my lifetime. The blue circle represents a positive event. Assume we have both experienced that event, whatever the nature. Notice that the event circle is the same size for each of us, but also notice what percentage of the area it occupies in our relative life experiences circle. It seems much larger to you because it is a bigger chunk of your experience. I am not diminishing the importance of that event, I just have a different perspective on it. I am trying to tell you that something that feels so good to you now and seems it always will in the future, will one day be part of your past and not as significant as it seems now. I know it is hard to believe, but it's true.

[–]madam1 1 point2 points ago

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I have a similar outlook as the post, however I ask myself, "Will I remember this event 5 years later?" If the answer is yes, I give the matter more attention. Otherwise, the event doesn't get to rent space in my mind.

[–]KirillM 1 point2 points ago

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Now fill the large circle with many blue dots.

[–]swing39 1 point2 points ago

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TIL Venn diagrams are used to help depressed people.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This actually really kinda cheers me up... today's been shitty, it's my first day back from classes and my first class was "death and dying". When I registered for it, I was excited to discuss the material... but then over winter break my mom died, and having to talk about this stuff first thing every tuesday and thursday morning is not something I can do right now... I'm still working through all this, but this picture helps. It is true, I think. I lost my dad two years ago and since I've been exposed to more things and had more experience in life, I've been able to work through the grief. thank you for sharing!

[–]elonc 1 point2 points ago

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This applies to when I went through a horrible marriage and divorce.at the time out was epic but now years later it's a footnote in my life.

[–]DrKickflip13 1 point2 points ago

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Pretty much the same concept as "everything gets better with time."

[–]OhJesusWOW 1 point2 points ago

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My day is going pretty bad, about to get worse. I'll remember this for tomorrow when I don't have reddit or wikipedia to use whilst I stew at home.

[–]AmatureHour 1 point2 points ago

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Your smiley face has one eye to big and has no mouth, what happened??

[–]digitumn 1 point2 points ago

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i like googly eyes

[–]onihcuk 1 point2 points ago

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my GF dumped with no real reason and i never been hurt this bad, i am 25

i really needed this

[–]cdcformatc 1 point2 points ago

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So basically, "get over it, you baby".

Yeah I don't think I should have to tell you how this is wrong.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What if you have been psychologically traumatized? I'm pretty sure I have post traumatic stress disorder. Does that actually get better with time, because it seems I am becoming more shut in and my melt downs are worse.

[–]gprime312 0 points1 point ago

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You should probably see a therapist. They're there to help.

[–]plotdevice 1 point2 points ago

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I agree with other posts that claim this idea is flawed, and patronizing. You're assuming that someone's bad day is in the context of: (a) a relatively minor problem (b) a relatively temporary problem (c) a problem within the framework of a generally good life. I don't think someone who has just become homeless with no job skills or family will look back on this one day and say it isn't that bad.

[–]gprime312 0 points1 point ago

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"Assume that the same event happened to both of us."

[–]Nickster79 3 points4 points ago

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Friend/fellow redditor sent this to me. Stealing this and putting it up in my classroom. Excellent visual lesson.

[–]Tech_Itch 0 points1 point ago*

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It's also patronizing, worthless, vapid bullshit. It presumes you know better how other people feel than they do, and that everybody's life experiences are the same.

Also, I'm clinically depressed, and these kind of empty platitudes make me want to punch things...

(And no, I'm not Technical Itch the DJ, so don't go bothering him with "Aw dude are you depressed?")

[–]revengeonseattle 1 point2 points ago

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Also: Googly eyes.

[–]MxDaleth 2 points3 points ago

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Now if only there were a similar, old person version. :(

[–]Manarax 2 points3 points ago

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As someone with bipolar disorder I disagree. My horrible events happen daily most of the time. By the time I die my blue circle will take up a good bit of my life.

[–]anubus72 2 points3 points ago

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yes, but even if you understand this it won't make a really bad experience any less bad. That's not how things work, I mean if people could control their emotions that easily then nobody would ever be in a shitty mood

[–]ProximaC 3 points4 points ago

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Time does not heal all wounds. Sometimes it just puts a scab on them that you pick off now and then. Sometimes it leaves a deep scar.

[–]ToastieCrumbs 4 points5 points ago

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I'm continuously trying to give this type of advice to friends. Thanks for sharing this! I will use it as a prop. lol

[–]Neebat 2 points3 points ago

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So... when I'm 239 years old, it won't seem so bad. Ok. Guess I can wait.

[–]walkntalk 1 point2 points ago

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Time helps heal or at least seems to alleviate some of the pain we are feeling, so that in the future it isn't quite so intense.

Besides most of us learn from our bad experiences and they are part of what make us who we are today.

[–]workpuppy 2 points3 points ago

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That's some arrogant shit right there. You assume your life experience is greater, all pain is the same, and that only one bad thing ever happens.

What about that one bad thing that knocks your whole life off course? Sure, it's just one thing, but look! It brings friends! Now there are a lot of them, and they cluster and grow and they shape your whole life forever after!

Now, when you drew your cute little circles, you were probably thinking about when your dog skippy died, and how that made you feel, but how the pain got better later.

I personally was thinking about watching my father get killed, and then I was thinking about watching my mother become an alcoholic, and marry a succession of abusive assholes, and the wreckage they made of my life. Then I thought about her dying of brain cancer, and how I'd never really fought it out with her over all the shit she'd put me through. Then I started thinking about shit I'm still trying to right in my life decades later.

Then I started thinking about all the little circles that represent my wife, and kids, and wondering about the dots that my issues were going to plant in their circles, despite all my best intentions. What will my past pain do to them?

And then I decided that you were a condescending asshole, and that you should keep your cute little diagrams to yourself in the future.

[–]MRWJG 1 point2 points ago

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That is awesome and I've absorbed the message completely. Thanks for improving my life instantly.

[–]iwasapolygon 2 points3 points ago

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Hey...thank you =)

[–]inmate2[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Hey...you're welcome =]

[–]MarbledNightmare 0 points1 point ago

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[–]bruce656 0 points1 point ago

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Tl;dr: get over it

[–]homeworld 0 points1 point ago

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Tell this to my 47 year old coworker that spend over 3 weeks crying at her desk because her boyfriend of 10.5 months left her.

[–]megatroneo 0 points1 point ago

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anyone else still check for .gif?

[–]PossiblyTrolling 0 points1 point ago

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who else only saw titties in those circles

[–]msluxuryyacht 0 points1 point ago

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if that blue dot happened before you were 10 it is a whole lot bigger.

[–]worsewithcomputer 0 points1 point ago

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This isn't necessarily true across the board, but it's a nice way to put it! Thanks for posting this.

[–]azrlmaster 0 points1 point ago

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As someone with a smaller circle, I guess I can agree and relate to that today. Just had a hemorrhoid removed today for the first time and I have basically just been confused and in pain the whole day. Then I come to find out that my family is full of experts on their removal simply as a result of all of them having had tons of them.

[–]sweater_vest 0 points1 point ago

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Being older does not necessarily mean you have more life experience. Some people have different experiences every day and reflect on their lives, other people may live the same life every year for 10. It's like job experience: do you have 10 years experience or 1 year experience 10 years in a row? It depends on the person.

As a 30 year old single mother who has gone through the wars to become who I am today, there's nothing more obnoxious than getting, "when you're my age" advice from someone a few years older who has no experience in many areas that I have. Sure, experience gives you perspective, but experience is an active process, not one that comes from years of osmosis.

[–]SoNotCool 0 points1 point ago

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that is the worst boob drawing i've ever seen. They are all uneven and stuff, that did not improve my day at all.

[–]r0nin 0 points1 point ago

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my brain just exploded

[–]Izawwlgood 0 points1 point ago

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Dude, you don't get it, we were in LOVE.

I wish I knew this when I was in high school, or college. The shit that's bothering me today is a blip on the radar down the road.

[–]Scythe_of_the_Celt 0 points1 point ago

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Dur.

[–]AdmiralBallsack 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Lopsided boobies.

[–]tabtabthesilly 0 points1 point ago

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You will make a good grandparent...

[–]IPlayTheGuitar 0 points1 point ago

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'Cool, this is uplifting I think I'll post a comment saying that it made me feel a bit better.'

reading comments

'Oh, never mind.'

[–]Servios 0 points1 point ago

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Wasn't having a bad day but it still was a nice read :D

[–]ObsidianOrangutan 0 points1 point ago

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This should be sent to every teenager who's having a break-up.

[–]God_of_gaps 0 points1 point ago

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As time goes on, you'll have more blue circles.

[–]silentflight 0 points1 point ago

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I am having a bad day, thank you for this.

[–]aih 0 points1 point ago

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o_O

[–]makingboilers07 0 points1 point ago

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Ha, that's funny. I used this logic as a teenager to explain to my parents why my life's "tragedies" were so tough on me. Ex: "Mom, I was dating that girl for 6 months and we broke up! That was like 1/32nd of my life!"

[–]soicanfap 0 points1 point ago

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Of course people can say that they believe this to be untrue. The exception proves the rule.

But, in my opinion, the importance of sharing things like this is that someone will connect with it. And, possibly, that someone's day will be better for it.

Like mine is today.

Thank you, I needed that today.

[–]mikeah3 0 points1 point ago

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Glad to see this made it to the front page. I didn't know how to get it there (long time lurker, seldom poster). Interesting discussion and many valid points. Wish I had the energy to explain what prompted me to make it ...

[–]derkam 0 points1 point ago

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Ageism.

[–]69_comments_share 0 points1 point ago

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but, what if i die tomorrow?

[–]Happy_Thoughts 0 points1 point ago

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Jokes on you. My blue dots come to mind all the time :)

[–]EatSleepJeep 0 points1 point ago

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I have a laminated fortune on my computer monitor:

The problems of today will soon be buried by the sand of time.

Reading it works to correct my mood when it turns south.

[–]theboss201 0 points1 point ago

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[–]omguard 0 points1 point ago

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All I see is googley eyes

[–]bubbles0luv 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you.

[–]geminimindtricks 0 points1 point ago

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thank you

[–]darahen2004 0 points1 point ago

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im 38, im having a bad life

[–]Git28 0 points1 point ago

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That's beautiful.

[–]CarnitasWhey 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you. I've saved this image and will remind myself of this anytime I'm feeling down.

[–]TheAmazingOctopus 0 points1 point ago

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Thannnkyou! That's just what I needed. :)

[–]Sneac 0 points1 point ago

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this seems like ethical calculus

[–]fuccess 0 points1 point ago

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BLABLABLA It's the blemishes and scars that makes us who we are.